W-welcome back to Cooking With Alice!

Kill yourself, cunt

Definitely a man...

Do you have a cunny or a girly cock?

Hey Alice, can you cook us up a nice plate of boypussy with a side of cum?

F-first, tea! Todays t-tea was pretty good, I h-hope you enjoy it!

Are you a trap?

Hi Alice. What's on the menu today?

Thank you Alice

heya cutie, whats cookin!

I'm in love with alice !

September doesn't even have 31 days in it.

Disgusting degenerate

SIGN THIS PETITION OR Cred Forums WILL BE GONE FOREVER

petitions.whitehouse.gov//petition/abolish-icann-and-congress-contract

What's this

Tea, Earl Grey, hot.

Cool

L-let me pour it for you....

Alice is the best. I wish I cook... or make tea... What do I do again!?

- Cirno

Blarg! I'm here, gotta leave in 20 though. :/

What's on the fridge?

Alice! You get a new pan yet?

pouring master! how many teas do you have miss alice o:

Thats rough

HERE WE GO
GOOD TO GO

C-cooking with Alice!

domo

Gas The Kikes Race War Now

thank you alice

NIGGA FUCK YO TEA

Of c-course not! There is n-nothing wrong with my pan!

Nigger

...

Is this one of those 2hu things?

I actually enjoy this awful shit. Thanks you fucking weirdo.

S-sorry, I'm female

Unless you feel like it's a fun gimmick to keep holding the piece of paper, you could make a hat that would hold onto it.

Let me image dump this thread for you.

I love me some guys pretending to be girls on this shit board.

1/?

Shouldn't this be on /ck/?

2/16

M-my pleasure! Now l-let's get roiiiiiight into t-the meal!

We will b-be making beef stew, using a crock pot! This s-sort of meal takes a long time to cook, b-but is very easy to set up before work!

Then you'll come home to a delicious smelling house, and a warm meal!

You were always welcome to come to our tea parties, Jerome!

3/16

:^)))

I wanna know about the paper on the fridge! Cook that!

P-please don't do that.

4/16

Alice, you said earlier that Reimu is actually Alice0, when Reimu themselves claimed to be Alice1. Is there any key difference between Alice0 and Alice1? Am I missing something here?

faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
faggot
FAGGOTS

im balding what do i do?

Nice wig faggot.

5/16

what anime

i've never had a slow cooked stew .. stew at all really, is it good? I think my mums has a spare slow cooker at her place might acquire it..

6/16

Who's Reimu?

7/16

I know! It's an easy work night, but I'd rather this thread be the hardest thing to deal with.

this thread is proof girls can make you cringe hard too

8/16

Y-you will need the following ingredients for a delicious beef stew! F-feel free to add any other roots, vegetables, or other spices if y-you like them!

It's v-very good!

This is Raymoo

*wraps her arms around you and squeezes* L-love you too, Anonymous!

9/16

Girls always make me cringe. Slow, unintelligent, weak creatures :^))))

Oh.
So who's that?

10/16

faggot

>exhentai.org/g/736636/efac343059/

Hello again Alice.
Could I get a cute pose with a peace sign please?
Can't wait to see what you're cooking today :)

Do you give kisses Alice?

Fuck OP.

If this shit gets you off, have fun.

11/16

She does Fortune telling threads

T-thank you

>exhentai.org/g/736636/efac343059
Dead link dude.

12/16

C-can I have a kiss then?

F-first, cut the potatoes up into chunks t-that easily fit into your mouth! N-no one wants to bite a potato piece in half!

the fuck is this shit, who the fuck type s-s-stutters...

And is Alice0? Which Alice is this?

kek

*pecks your cheek*

dont cut yourself

Fight me irl kid, I'm 3m tall and don't think the month of September has 31 days. :^)))
13/16

Can we all leave Alice alone this time, let the girl share her cooking with us without you all bombarding her with accusations. She's not a trap, this has been proven in many of her threads, stop being a newfag and enjoy the thread!

>Dead link
If you don't know how to use exhentai by now then you really need to read doujins more often

I see a shoe! Alice doesn't wear shoes!

This is Alice2. Alice0 is who Alice2 told me was Reimu The Fortune Teller.

CAREFUL WITH THAT KNIFE

But to stop being a newfag, I'd actually have to lurk the cesspool that is Cred Forums

Keep telling yourself that. That pan is as busted as a $2 whore.

Love ya Babe

It's f-fine, it's fine~

If y-you were 3M tall, it w-would be very difficult for your heart to pump blood t-to your brain effectively.

You'd be much weaker than I am

Nice man fingers, Wig and stuffed chest also confirm.

14/16

I hardly know how to read.

Oh. I only know Alice2 and Alice3. I was late to the Alice party.

N-now cut the onions up into thin, small slices!

T-try not to cry either!

>girl

No, be barefoot.

>female
fucking dropped

Not that user but your post is just plain retarded. An hero.

But who is Alice3. Is it sp00ky?

where's alices apron?
her clothing is to nice to dirty :(

T-there is no Alice3.

S-sorry to disappoint!

N-no thank you, m-my puppy would bite m-my toes then!

Lol this faggot actually thinks he's a chef to, fucking classic.
15/16

>wear boots inside
That'd be awesome!

youtube.com/watch?v=CsrfovOPcjk

>sign up to e-hentai.org
>get e-hentai cookie
>no more sad panda

J-just a silly girl, cooking f-for the man I love: Anonymous

I don't even give a shit that this is a fagboy in a dress this shit is brilliant!
Any faggot willing to make OC on the chan is OK by me.
God speed Alice you beautiful little faggot.
God speed my son.
*Salutes

ALICE ANSWER NOW ITS URGENT

Why is your ring finger longer than your index finger? That's usually a tell-tale sign that you're a dude.

...

If you're a girl I'm a girl also :^)).

16/16

Need someone to take pictures for you Alice? I'm available.

It was a guy pretending to be Alice while Alice was gone. I knew him, sorta.

Yes there was. My memory is flawless.

you can fix it , implant a dick or something

that aint a girl you doofus

Throw some of this in yer stew

Embrace the bald and turn into a monk. get your meditation on

I'm f-female, so daughter I s-suppose?

N-nice to meet you, fellow female

you spastic bastard

B-be careful cutting up the garlic! It c-can be wiley!

>this triggered on a post from Cred Forums

You've given yourself an identity, mainly because you're an attention seeking faggot. You're not a chef and you're not a girl. Please End your life.

1/24

Who needs cringe threads when pretty much every single poster in this thread fulfills that need

You hold your knife like a retard. This coming from a guy that works in a kitchen.

Wow.
So you don't really know how to use a knife.

We both know there was. Don't deny it. Do I need to go find the emails?

What's that?

ty based user

>cutting the garlic.

Damn it Alice, you're supposed to crush it with the flat of the blade and mince!

You're a real piece of shit dude.

Don't listen to them Alice.

You're doing a great job.

Meat for the stew

>Thinking defending some faggot on a anime imageboard will get you pussy in real life

2/24

Goat foot minus the hoof

...

some boots are comfy as fuck, uggs are best for inside but

S-sorry, I don't do this for attention

and youre a real faggot, duuuuude.

fuck off nigger

Nigger

Damage control.

you nignog i'll boong swing you so hard you won't be able to sniff petrol for atleast three weeks

woah man turn it down a notch. if OP likes doing it and other people like watching it whats the issue?

Fuck you nigger. Uggs are shit tier valley gurl wear.

crush it with the side of the blade first dumbass

Okay n-now make sure to mix your spices and t-the meat up well! The spices w-will diffuse in the broth, b-but it never hurts to give it some help!

So tenderly love your meat, everyone!

I d-don't particularly like doing t-this, but I do hope others enjoy it

Lol your life must be pretty awful

;^))
Better to be a piece of shit, than a faggot in denial.
3/24

Do not encourage this faggotry, the dude obviously needs professional help. He cant cook for shit.

>thinking dumping images on a thread you dislike raises your karma on your high horse morale
10/10

How long do we slow cook again?

>I don't do this for attention

I mean... You clearly do.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't get why you'd lie about it so blatantly.

Literally looking at emails where it's a thing. You were all sick or something.

God, I don't remember who all these people are...

Show us your hand, stretched out please.

Eh, this is cute, even if it's pretty autistic. Yay Alice!

lol

I'm not in denial about anything I just think you're an asshole.

Nom. Is goat good? I don't imagine it is. I like chicken.

Not anymore there isnt

Why do you want small chunks of garlic though! Mincing is better to spread the flavor.

From what? You spamming that I'm triggered? Nice meme kiddo :^)

But I like doing this, so fuck off :^))))))))
50 hours a week in a machine shop is troubling to say the least.
4/24

Maybe he don't know

dat perfect reaction image. almost heard walter white say it out loud.

saved.

ALICE IM VEGAN WHAT DO I DO

your doujins are shitehouse cunt post something better or fuck off

you do you OP, your mental stability might be questionable but if making these deplorable people on this image happy makes you happy then i wish you success in this endeavor.

S-sorry, but I'm a girl

I can't even imagine how much you get every day by dumping your ebin troll doujin

Leave the poor girl alone, she's trying her best.

Justified.

Damage control

i was for a large part of my life, eat meat, it's tasty!

I'm n-not sure why it would be questionable...

Anyway!

N-now you want to add your roots and other veggies on top of t-the meat!

Kill em all

He isn't a girl.

I never claimed to be better than anyone, I'm just not pretending to be a girl on the internet for a herd of 14 year old boys.
5/24
Fuck off shitcunt.

>go on Cred Forums
>see 10 pages full of threads
>better shit post on that one with actual oc
>not triggered
>:^)
>>>/plebbit/

yeah well, that's just like, y'know what I mean like it is like what I mean about, yeah man

...

Maybe they're Alice0 and they're reading your fortune.

i meant b oard not happy. my bad

Yes, you are.

if alice is a guy then i'm gay cause this is pretty cute

- pm

faggot

(no one fucking believes he's a girl just play along)

N-not sure why I have a vagina then...?

Hey Alice, do you prefer dildos or vibrators

Faggot

alice are you gay?

i'll shove a potato up your bottom

You relise that more than half of these people are waiting for nudes/lewds, right?
Are you gonna give it to them, or should they just fuck off?

>I'm not better but look at me post hentai lol so random XD

6/24

:^))) Implying OP isn't an attention seeking shitposter. This is hardly OC.

pics

Eventually, someone who likes touhou shit will appreciate what you do.

Why should I care? I want to fuck you in the ass.

She's definitely a guy then. Fag

Where is your OC

F-finally, fill the crock pot to 3/4ths its height w-with beef stock and s-set it to low or medium h-heat for 8 hours!

I think we need to crown Alice as the new queen of Cred Forums

damage control

Faggot

when you try to make fun of someone but youre just way too cringey

lmao

>implying you are not a bigger one and even giving it to op yourself

full retard .

Hi I-I-I'm Alice-ee-e. I-I'm going t-t-ooo prance around like a fruit and "c-c-cook'.

...

Got me there.
Easiest thing to image spam a thread with cutie ;^)).
Typing to your lame ass.

7/24

We have to wait 8 hours..?

OMFG did you just assume gender by implying genitals are what makes genders?!

Garlic cloves AND garlic salt? Overdoing it a touch, don't you think?

I think what your/you're doing is cute, its a nice change of pace from the usual trash on this board

alice pls i dont have that kind of time

>facebook memes
sure got me m8

The suspense is killing me, when will you do a face reveal??
Also nice job on the stew so far

You can be Alice4!

Goat? Goat is fucking bomb when you do it right. Slow cooked, Tamarac, papricka, a little wine and a tomato base. Or Birria.

The meat is a bit gamey and a lot delicious.

*King

Its not that surprising.

Hows the nerves bb?

I'm a sap for thin, short guys like OP. What can I say?

8/24

i'm straight last time i checked.

- pm

S-sorry, I'm not seeking attention

That's your asshole.

>shitty anime memes

keep digging yourself deeper. go on.

It's a set and forget thing, start it in the morning and eat it at night.

Alice need my support,
You go you beautiful little bastard! This is grate.
I fucking love you for your OC!
No matter how much hate these cock munchers throw at you look how fast your thread is moving.
You are a true genius!
You go son, you cook that shit you beautiful little slut.

>implying a feminine penis makes a woman less womanly

you're the shitcunt shitcunt fite me 1v1 bruh i'll fuckin bottle ya dog mutt

How intense should the flame be?

9/24

>anime memes on an anime image board
god forbid that ever happens

i dont think its a stew user. i am pretty sure its just a slow roast but instead of a whole beef flank she used diced beef.

I'm n-not short, I'm q-quite tall for an asian woman.

*patpat* W-whatever you want to believe, Anonymous

depression is cringey as fuck tbh.

>M-my sense of taste is r-really dull due to depression, s-sorry!
Now I understand why she's here

what was that black stuff in the measuring cup?

What do you do with the food you cook?

Could you be any cuter? :0

>flame
>crock pot
being this new

L-luckily, we d-don't need to wait 8 hours, as I p-prepared this for you ahead of t-time!

>clearly internal to me, that you have no window into.

Seeking validation or attention isn't something that's unique to you. Why do people make youtube videos? Why do people post on facebook/twitter? Why do you make these shitty threads?

>It's odd that you'd say I lie about something

It's odd that you lie about it. I don't understand why you cant just call a spade a spade and be done with it.

It's a crock pot, so it doesn't have a direct heat source like a flame

If you were to cook it on a gas stove, probably a medium low heat

sure you aren't this guy?

lel his probably jealous

Alice how do I fix my cold toes?

"I'm a symbol, not a person."
I cringed, so desperate to find self worth, you have to pretend to stand for something on a shitty imageboard.

Fuck off m8.
10/24

>
8 Hours!? Ain't nobody got time for that shit. When are the 5 minute meals coming?

Your text lingo is cringy af tbh fam.

You can clearly tell it's a Faggot trap look at the men's Nike shows in the background in the second vid. When the Faggot is cutting up potatos.

I'm really enjoying this. But I cant help why no one has tits or gtfo yet.

Gut feeling says this is a trap.

Cooking chan can you please do lasagna for your next dish?

NO WOMAN WOULD OWN A GOLD KNIFE

a penis doesn't make a woman at all...

Alice can I get you pregnant Pls

>implying bait catches the fish

Sasuga Alice!

Is Moot back?

>being this new

>I'm b-bisexual.

can you confirm you have a girlfriend??

>lingo

u just fuckin cringed urself m8

On par with saying, "Stop hitting yourself!"

11/24

shave your chest before you make a thread then, that's not attractive at all

Alice has been a regular since 2011. We've pretty much given up at this point.

You should find a shrink.

WHAT IN THE LITERAL FUCK!? NO CARROTS?

0/10 Alice. I am disappoint.

OK, it may be the pot talking, but this is the thread I most enjoyed on /b in a long time. It's nice to seem some OC.

Keep going Alice, and ignore the haters.

Also

You know what, you seem pretty angry and way more faggy than OP. I bet you are one of the retarded who keeps screaming "b is shit. b has no oc anymore." muh b", and then when there is actual OC you come to shit all over it because you see people paying attention to someone else then realize how empty and meaningless your own life is.

Also you are a faggot who doesn't even know how to sadpanda.

Don't you have a dick rating thread somewhere else to be?

S-s-socks on your dick.

That's a wig, and that's a dude.

100%.

12/24

pics please.

I eat it, w-what else would I do with it?

I'm n-not seeking validation or attention, s-sorry

look at those man arms

You relise that more than half of these people are waiting for nudes/lewds, right?
Are you gonna give it to them, or should they just fuck off?

>This much damage control.
Look at yourself faggot. Hentai pics or dressing up to cook, you want to stand out but can't do anything people want to see so you fight what others enjoy so you can have some sort of attention. You're the real cam whore here, even without a picture.

Ha good call on the shoes

They'll always make some kind of excuse as to why they can't show proof.

Not everyone has American appliances

I like this, you are comforting to watch, Alice.

Straight shota and the stuttering cunt. This is the best thread ever.

I thought maybe you fed it to people. I wanted some.

Sorry but I lost my shit at this one.
Still you fucking go son! Show these faggots how to cook!
Cred Forums needs faggots like you alice otherwise it's just full of regular faggots who's only ambition is to take dick up the Butt.
Hit me up
Your buggest fan
This is
Stan

you post on snapchat as pleasureclone dont you. i recognise your posture

It is f-for sure a wig; not many b-blonde asian women.

ANYWAY

H-here is your meal Anonymous. H-how is it?

like titanium carbide or just plated titanium to look nice.

>implying its an American appliance

>B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D
>B-I-S-E-X-U-A-L

>Doesn't know about GMC.
>Doesn't know about Lingo.
Underage confirm.

D-dont think boys can get pregnant im a-afraid

Really? First time seeing this! I don't care. Btw
>being that old

kek

>So tenderly love your meat, everyone!

Waaaaaay ahead of you, you adorable little cutie pie.

Yummy :)

This

why does this person give off a trap vibe????

It's great, t-thank you Alice

how about you make us your famous dish step by step and show this faggot op how it is done ?

>I d-don't particularly like doing t-this

Why do you do it?

Nice try, that totally got me. I can post a picture of my penis if you would like ;^)))

13/24

>If it did, I'd have stopped this years ago.
That would be implying you didn't start doing this a week ago.

You're Asian? There's my boner gone.

pictures or it isnt a thing.

Good thread!

It's great Alice, thank you

Actually cooked it while watching the webms, thank you for the meal Alice

She didn't always cook. She used to be a big hug slut.

10/10 best thing I've ever eaten

youtube.com/watch?v=_ue714d1V6I

Hi I-I-I'm Alice-ee-e. I-I'm going t-t-ooo prance around like a fruit and "c-c-cook', t-t-oday on the f-f-faggot chef!

What! Wtf how do you slow cook something in 5 minutes?

She's trapped by a fat neck-beard

>trying this hard

does it come with happy ending?

well i mean it would take me 8 hours to cook it realistically, but i have used a similar recipe before and its a good dish. id give it a 7/10. to improve it in the future maybe add some carrots or more root vegetables.

Ice ice baby

Pix?

Titanium carbide!

T-to teach Cred Forums s-some simple recipes, of c-course!

I've p-posted as Alice since 2011 silly.

A h-hug slut?!

I c-cooked it ahead of time!

That's a quality knife you got there.
This would be much more entertaining without the basement dweller outfit though.

People would watch

Lurk moar
it was precooked as Said in an earlier post.

She prepared it beforehand

Well you're an actual prostitute without having sex >:^((((

14/24

You are such unnusual person, i still dont know what to think about you, guess ill continue watching these threads

He's saying he isn't asian or blonde.

Hahah God damn. This has to be the weirdest thing in this thread

I l-live in the opposite of a basement: A penthouse.

I want a hug slut

>tfw no qt hug slut gf to get nonstop hugs from

rekt

Of what? Old Alice threads? Nope. I think I have one of her talking to Wastelander, but that's it.

Yep. You know you were.

feel like posting some lewd Alice? if not in this thread start another!

kek

Oh right fair enough. Can we see you eat it?

What are you a symbol of?

15/24

W-well, that's my thread everyone!

I h-hope you all had a good time, and I'll b-be around until the thread dies.

W-we will go down with this ship together, Anonymous!

Ohhhh!! I see how it is! You can fucking spring for a nice new Knife but you keep that god damn burnt up aluminum pan around like its your pet fucking Rabbit!

God DAMN IT!!

learn to properly slice you cancerous nigger. you slice on the forward motion, lift, pull back and slice forward again.

Dank OC

How long have you lived there?

Thank you Alice

Please don't stay away so long again..

rich hoes are scary
nice to see cooking contains it for you, for now.

Do caramelldansen

>I'm n-not seeking validation or attention, s-sorry stop stating, with absolute certainty, my reasons and internal state; it's pretty silly.

Not really. Unless you're a fucking autist you should, to some degree, be able to tell what motivates people.

What's silly is you're still lying about this, 3 posts later.

Being 16 and wanting to be a girl.

16/24