Special Birthday Celeb thread - come and join the fun

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Sh-She s-said, "Tommy is coming over."... I-I asked h-her who is that?... She s-said he's a real m-man who knows h-how to s-satisfy a beautiful woman l-like m-me... She t-told m-me I-I must stay in the l-living room and s-sit o-on the floor while she g-goes into the bedroom w-with him... She c-called h-him o-over and h-he i-is s-supposed t-to arrive any m-minute... I-I d-didn't l-like the idea b-but I-I know she w-w-will punish m-me severely i-if I-I protest s-so I-I humbly agreed s-saying, "As you wish dear."...

Why are you stuttering? Just type normal you fucking pleb.

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Stutterfag, you are a piece of work, no doubt.

I have to commend you on you posting of excellent Jessica Alba pics and webms. Good stuff. Hopefully it will prevent your mistress from chopping off your dick.

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She then l-laughed and s-said I-I was n-nothing b-but a-a useless s-sissy f-for agreeing and only a beta-vomit w-would w-wilt like that in front o-of a w-woman... She s-said m-my t-tiny 4 and a-a half inches c-could n-never really satisfy h-her: she n-never r-really felt a-a thing... Sh-She then g-got a c-call f-from h-him saying h-he w-was r-right around the block s-so she ordered m-me t-to l-lay on the fl-floor as a-a walking m-mat s-so h-he c-c-could step on m-me as h-he enters the h-house...

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so... WTF

I think HD has one of the best faces of all time. I tell my bother this, he says she's dumpy and not much. How is it possible he thinks she's a nugget and I think she's a goddess?

BTW that's my car! even hotter chick.

Flawless

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Your brother is crazy, she is gorgeous!

Any Moon fans? (Terminator 4 chick) A bit older, but sexy AF. Also Falling Skies.

G is an ultraqt

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When T-Tom en-entered h-he n-never expected m-me t-to be l-laying on the fl-floor b-but Jessica c-consoled h-him saying I-I was h-her useless sm-small d-dicked s-sissy slave s-so he c-can w-walk o-over m-me and t-take h-her t-to the bedroom... He l-laughed and d-did s-so grabbing h-her in h-his a-arms and q-quickly h-had h-his f-fingers in h-her sn-snatch as th-they w-walked t-to the bedroom... She g-giggled and asked h-him i-if h-he w-wanted s-something t-to eat l-later... H-He s-said yes and she o-ordered m-me t-to the k-kitchen t-to make h-him a steak medium rare...

never seen that pic - features are thick on her there. Is she part negress or Puerto Rican? (legit do not know)

SF: You talk about snatch. Have you ever seen a female snatch?

Wiggle wiggle

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I have no idea, regardless, she is stunningly beautiful and has one of the best asses around!

Is she tryna do a JoJo pose here?

random #1

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>>Bang the DuffButt
>>nick the keys to her Porsche
>>tfw youre life is complete

Random #2
Zev faggots, Zev.

Random #3

Skinny ass Random #4

Fuck you its Olga. #5

ok Cred Forums shit system, prevent me from posting new hot chick pics. fucking faggot nerd shithead programmers. let the religion chick and all the furryfag shit through, but if i want to post a chick then block me. fucking nigger sys admins. find a fire and jump in it.

fucking nigger gook zionist libtards.

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Eat my gas and suck my balls faggot mods. Nice life. Way to put that on your resume - Cred Forums mod. Insta-ban from any job.

N-No s-sir m-my m-mistress doesn't allow m-me t-to touch h-her any more...

Peace faggots. Out.

except, shit, can't leave this one:
SF: Have you looked up your condition or maybe spoken to a doc?

buymping with more g

M-My m-mistress s-said I-I c-can phone and t-talk t-to h-him b-by using h-her a-asshole... I-I j-just h-have t-to st-stick m-my f-face d-deeply in, fl-flip out m-my wet tongue and sp-speak...

elle

>t-to h-him
I guess I haven't been reading your babble over the last few months.

Are you sure you mean"him"?
FY

I see your Elle and raise you one Kathy.

I-I know I-I'm j-just a-a beta d-dude and h-have n-no right t-to possess a-a w-woman of this class g-good s-sir... Please f-forgive m-me f-for offending y-you...

young marisa miller

I-I c-could w-wish all m-men h-had the opportunity t-to possess a w-woman this beautiful b-but I-I know beautiful c-celeb w-woman are v-very r-rare...

no offense taken SF. None given I'm sure.

no one in the history of 4channel has a right to posses a woman of JA's caliber. That is clear.

What are you sure of at all in this life SF? Anything you would say is certain?

I-I p-pulled a-a genuine Houdini wh-when cr-crawling into h-her heart... P-Pop! I-I was there and n-no m-matter how h-hard she tried she c-couldn't g-get m-me out... I-I know m-many m-men d-dislike m-my m-motives, m-methods and m-manners... And m-many m-more w-want t-to stomp o-on my face f-for f-finding the success I-I had w-with h-her...

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She has a twin sister? WTF!!

What part of the world do you live in SF?

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kek

FU man. too much booze and too little sleep. Top keks to you

Sh-She w-was s-so f-far o-out o-of m-my cl-class; i-it w-was s-such a long shot; th-there w-was n-nothing t-to l-lose and everything t-t-to gain...

sarah jessica parker

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this thread needs more sexy ariana!

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alessandra ambriosio

eww their faces look greasy af. more arya stark pls

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jessica alba

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brooke burke

Out of your class??
this chick is more like your class.

Too much meat on her bones. I like to feel like I'm fucking a dried out rotisserie chicken, not some fucking whale. Gross, dude.

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thxxxxx

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jamie

Duff Fight! (You will lose)

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V-Very o-often m-my m-mistress d-decides t-to p-put m-me t-to sleep at n-night the h-hard w-way... I-I usually w-wake u-up in the m-morning w-with a splitting headache... Sh-She s-sometimes st-stills g-gets v-very upset a-at m-my disregard f-for etiquette and propriety when I-I savagely overtook h-her l-life w-with m-my sn-snake-like advances...

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I don't collect. I just started making edits the other day.

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well ok then Hi.

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She says i-it won't hurt when h-her b-boot o-over m-my sk-skinny beta-throat encapsulates m-my existence and p-presses d-down t-to relieve h-her o-of the l-long d-day's stresses and p-pressures b-but i-it always d-does...

I sincerely hope your b8ing
Have your (you) and run with it kid

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I want to cum all over her face.

She a-always brings the fl-flowers to o-our s-sessions because they r-r-remind us o-of both the beauty and prickly p-pain involved...

ok mate you can stop now this erp shit is creepy

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I-I am s-so lucky t-to h-have a-a w-world cl-class beautiful c-celeb w-woman... I-I w-w-wish all m-men c-could know what i-it is l-like t-t-to wake up knowing that sh-she i-is yours f-forever...

excellent.

Please stop shitposting and if it's not a shitpost go to a psychologist or some shit

Jessica Alba is not your right hand you mongoloid.

I-I understand y-your fr-frustrations g-good s-sir and I-I hope y-you t-too one day w-will be able t-to find a-a beautiful, famous and r-rich c-celeb w-woman...

i've seen this on a lot of celeb threads...dunno what it is. guess we need to lurk moar

I have been baffled by this stuttering fellow for probably months now.

I-I r-remember wh-when I-I d-didn't have h-her I-I w-was j-just a-a slim-shit d-dog l-like m-many m-men wh-who w-want h-her... My s-suburbs w-were f-full o-of v-vomit and f-fat p-poor w-woman...

imagine this dude is locked up somewhere and the only thing he's allowed to post is suttering riddles for people that have to save him but have to figure out where he's being kept by clues in his stuttering...lmao im fucking high

Does he get off by people berating him? Is that even a thing?

Kill the Stutterfaf! kill kill kill
Death to Stutterfag!!

Someone make a photoshop or something.

is it the same dude on every thread? i mean it has to be, right?

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After sl-slinging m-my helpless b-body around w-with s-several b-body s-slams m-my mistress i-is m-more than finished h-her daily w-workout and b-bids m-me w-wash h-her f-feet and prepare h-her bath b-by hand washing the bathtub... I-I m-move quickly t-to obey h-her b-because I-I d-don't w-want h-her t-to get angry a-at m-me...

Word. Christ she is under appreciated.

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does she ever take you to Suplex City?

She kn-knows I-I would d-do anything t-to k-keep h-her because she i-is t-too valuable an a-asset f-for m-me t-to lose... I-I t-try m-my b-best t-to please and o-obey h-her...

I'm sure

Sh-She s-says she d-doesn't kn-know why she k-keeps m-me and h-her l-life w-would definitely b-be a m-million t-times b-better i-if I-I w-was fl-flattened b-by a semi while w-walking d-down the s-sidewalk...

Asset? Asset? You call the goddess of your existence an 'asset'? WTF are you CIA? Such disrespect. No wonder she beats you. Dumb ass faggot. You deserve to live in shit you mongrel.

I-I d-don't l-like when sh-she t-talks l-like that b-but I-I j-just st-stay s-silent... This usually m-makes h-her m-more upset: saying i-if I-I was a-a real m-man I-I w-would s-say s-something and w-wouldn't allow myself t-to be verbally trampled b-by a w-woman...

SF: you are ignoring our questions.

I-I know wh-when she i-is heaving m-my b-body ar-around like a sack of potatoes she also s-says I-I d-don't care about h-her enough b-but this b-baffles m-me because I-I f-find h-her very beautiful...

omg dude cmon stop

M-Maybe she thinks I-I d-don't c-care; I-I d-don't know: that w-would explain a-all those b-ball stomping s-sessions I-I m-must endure...

we all know we've been infected with cancer for a long time now.

This is something else..

Best we can hope for is that its an isolated occurrence and not an outbreak of cuckottry.

I-I sincerely h-hope every g-good alpha s-sir h-here f-finds their d-dream g-girl... I-I hopes she c-comes knocking t-to your d-door one d-day w-with a-a big and l-loving smile on h-her f-face... And as she c-comes u-up and embraces y-you w-with tears in h-her eyes she s-says, "I love you."...

must sleep. so late

You're very irritating; a bit like the faggot that pretends to be a psychiatrist.

And if you're going to pretend to stutter do it correctly. No stutterer will stutter on "I" as it's a single syllable that doesn't form the tongue and lips into the shape that stutterers hesitate over

K-k-kill y-yourself f-f-faggot

M-My g-good and n-noble s-sirs I-I know a-a sissy-spade l-like m-me h-has n-no r-right t-to possess a woman o-of this quality and b-beauty b-but pl-please b-be assured m-many m-men w-want t-to tap d-dance on m-my face after a-all the d-devious and immoral tr-tricks I-I played on m-my mistress in captivating a-and capturing h-her p-poor and fragile heart...

>faggot that pretends to be a psychiatrist
Who is that??

I-Indeed I-I crawled o-out o-of the street g-gutter, straight from the s-sewers t-to foul m-myself i-into h-her pristine existence... I-I know she h-holds a g-great slam-hammer grudge at m-me because o-of this... M-Maybe when sh-she g-gets older sh-she w-will f-find it i-in her heart t-to forgive m-me...

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lurk moar. You'll come across one of his threads on day, unless the shit he gets heaped on his head has finally worked and he's fucked off permanently to Reddit to get the attention he craves

He usually starts with a pic with "The psychiatrist is in". Goes by a girls name and affects a stutter (the dumb faggot types "p-psychiatrist" without appreciating that the "p" is silent) but is a fat abusive neckbeard, from what I've read

Thread needs moar birthday suits.

I-I h-hope she d-doesn't leave m-me f-for g-good and f-finds i-it in h-her heart t-to pity a-a st-street slime like me...

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