Hello guys, God here. (And no, that's not a troll)

Hello guys, God here. (And no, that's not a troll)

Ask me anything.

who are you?

can we ask you anything?

Hi God,
Who am I?

how to magnets work?

Which one are you? There is a shitton of religions. WHICH ONE IS CORRECT!

Hi Dad, you sure fucked me over

Can't say now. But you will see who i am with your own eyes in less than 7 years.

may I have poops?

I am Jesus 2.0, Not the son of god this time, but literraly God, i created Jesus and spoke to Moïse.. Etc..

U looking for cheese burgers or followers

What the fuck dude? What kind of omnipotent being allows kids to be raped and murdered? What the fuck is with war? Why the hell is that a thing? Loss? Heartbreak? What the fuck?! Put down the goddamn magnifying glass, asshole! You're cooking all the fucking ants!!!!!

Will you send help here on heart pls?

can you help Herambe?

Could you present me with a thesis about the diversions of the political agenda on the XXI century and its impact on the global economy?

Can u drive u got a handler

Well u have to cinsiderate my point of view..
I am educating you guys so u can be my bro soon.

Death is not the end..

Yes but first, you have to past the apocalypse first (Antichrist next year)

God please help me forget my family, or at least make me not care about them can you even do that?

American here, AR-15 or SKS?
Accidentally made a flame war on /k/ and they are fighting about which I should buy for target shooting.

mister, mister, will her arm grow back?

If you are god grant me dubs

You can do it by your own, it's easy.

Why not both ?

Please, end my life, I beg you.

Btw, You are living in a world like Matrix.. Nothing is real, i just creat a sort of game, i set the rules, and i creat human to make them my bro.

Your goal : Be more perfect than u were, every day.

Reward : Eternal life, Power, and in the end of the game, statut of God and u are my bro.

Come on, just be a man and get your life back t_t it's so fucking easy..

Will I ever be happy God?
Also am I immortal or am I just fucking up my suicide attempts?

If you are god make me have to pee in the span of 10 minutes.

You can considerate yourself like immortal if you are a good guy.

Do you eat broccoli

Shit not working like that, i have things to do too in the apocalypse, i am supposed to be able to beat 200 000 000 people alone in 7 years.. I am supposed to invent magic right now.

I do yes, i love every food. I am a dog.

Fuck. Uhhh lets see. What is my age then faggot.

I will be omniscient when i will open the 7th seal.

Right now, i just born, i have 7 years to become literally God. Still the "son of god" right now.

Alright, alright. So op is an faggot?

How could i be a faggot >.> I am an Alpha++++

You can listen to some singer, i have made them dream about me (Not on purpose), Also, Disney song are for me. Satan know i am here ^.^

How do you resolve the Theodicy Problem? That is, how can an omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent God allow people -- even innocent newborns -- to suffer for the sins of Adam and Eve?

Cause i didnt tell all the story about everything yet. There is an happy end.

I am just a guy, who have every power, and i am just raising you to my level.. And my goal is hard, so i have to settle a good plan to do what i want to achieve.

Cause i know you will never believe me

If you're really God, turn me into a qtpie girl

I could do that very easily.
But you would have to give me some of your times.. If you want something, u have to work for it.

> But you would have to give me some of your times

What

I will give you some work to do.. to make yourself a better person so u can find a cutie girl..

This thread is proof that humanity was created by a retarded alien

I am not retarded at all :/ I am the smartest guy ever born >.

Bruh are you sure you're God

You can't even read

how can i stop accidentally spitting?..

Nah, my english is not perfect, that's the problem here.

Anytime u spit, curse yourself

Just end me, please.

Just keep it a little bit more.. Life will get soon fun for gamer.
Be rdy for apocalypse

Specify what kind of apocalypse it is

No spoiler sry.
It's a bad kind of apocalypse. 1/3 humanity will die.

he's god not rnggod

Hey God! How ya been? Didn't expect to see you on Cred Forums. Anywho, do you ever masturbate while watching other people have sex? If I were you I'd totally do that.

No, i do better. I can go into ur dreams and have sexe with u (if u want to (not u, not gay sry))

Cool, so here's a philosophical one, are you capable of being evil?

Don't tell anyone before i do , but i am the evil too.

But my spirit always define what i have to be, it's not about my feelings.

Good to know, so are you truly omnipotenthe? If so have you heard the old riddle "can God create a boulder too heavy for himself to lift"

I can't do that.. I can make something impossible to lift for the past me, but not for the present me.

And yes, when the apocalypse end, i will be omnipotenthe, like literraly.

OK well that works for me good talk god

Can you make that girl I want suck my dick?

nop, i already give u everything u need to have want u want

Why platypus?

I just have put base setting, random did the rest for animals in fonction of their environnement.

Who framed Roger rabbit?

Me

Who did 9/11?

what is the meaning of everything? why are we here?

Mustard or Mayo?

Satan church

Depend of the food with

You are here to be my brothers and sister, my alter ego. We will have wonderfull life soon. (Not with you if you are a bad guy ..)