Be me

weird that you have a job that revolves around reading and writing when you're clearly not comprehending everyone's fucking username

>decide that because were going to the symphony I need to buy something nice to wear
>decide to buy a watch because I like james bond
>next day go to a local jewelry store and look around
>jeweler asks me what Im looking for and I say a nice watch
>elegant yet sport, I have no idea what im talking about
>he recommends a rolex submariner, same one james bond wore
>ask how much, $7,000
>say fuck it, ive saved a lot from having no social life
>swipe my debit card and wear it out the store
>saturday comes and i pick her up at her apartment
>her names madi by the way
>shes dressed nice, but in the kind of rough, punk type of way, tattoos showing, boots n shit
>im wearing boot cut khakis and a blazer my dad gave thats a little too big
>we look like the most retarded couple ever
>drive to the symphony, making decent small talk
>seems that i have my nervous retard stutter under control
>go in, find our seats
> show begins
>next is 2 hours of boring as fuck classical music
>she seems to really like it, so I fake interest

CONT.

Hey OP is being a lawyer similar to Ace Attorney.

OP's story illustrates perfectly why whores are better than normals.

>for 200 bucks OP could have been balls deep, kicked her out and be playing vidya instead of listening to retarded music and having her ditch him to go fuck chad

You would drop 7000 on a first date. Smells like b8 m8

7k for a New rolex submariner? Where is this?

If it was Hoslt or Mozart then you're a tasteless little bitch.

PLEASE CONT. OP!

>after the symphony, I recommend we go get something to eat
>she asks where, and i say i know a little italian place that has really good ricotta
>drive around for 30 minutes looking for it
>swear it was right here, bring up google maps
>cant find it
>end up going to olive garden
>we sit down and i do my best to try and show off my new watch
>she pays zero attention to it
>shes really interested in artsy stuff and bands and culture
>way out of my league but do my best to bullshit it
>order spaghetti and meatballs
>she orders chicken spiedini
>she makes another joke about how I love meat and balls
>try to make a joke about her being a chicken
>I feel the autistic babbling coming
>fight it off by making "bwaak bwaak bwaak" chicken noises, flapping my elbows like wings
>godfuckingdamnit
>she laughs at me and calls me a dork
>think Im still in this
>we talk about more culture and bands ive never heard of and start to head home

CONT.

Btw you know that in the last couple of Bond movies he wears a omega

Oh my God, fucking end your life.

What law do you practice?

I wanna get into law.

It's amazing.

tl;dr OP is an autistic insecure faggot and he spent 7k on a second hand rolex so he could fuck a scene girl who felt bad for him

>mfw my life isn't so bad overall

the good kind

Cont. M8

I hope this ends well. I've had a really long day

>inb4 jet fuel can't melt steel beams

Bump

>mfw op turns out to be a nigger

>get to her apartment complex
>sit in the car talking
>its getting late, probably 11
>she starts talking about some indie band
>tell her I've never heard of it
>says I'll love them and have to come up and listen to them with her
>ididitboys.png
>say yes before she even finishes the sentence
>go up to her apartment
>she pulls out a record and puts it on the record player
>of course shes into vinyl
>sitting on the couch together listening
>she had a few glasses of wne at dinner, a little drunk
>I dont drink, nervous as fuck, havent had sex in almost a decade
>too scared to make the first move
>she makes the first move, saves me from my autistic tendencies like always
>start making out
>make out for a while
>go to her bedroom
>she rides me the whole time, knowing that i dont know what the fuck Im doing
>its fucking awesome
>nervousness prevents me from orgasming
>sweet, better than not nutting at all
>eventually cum, fall asleep together
>wake up the next morning
>shes still asleep
>sit there and watch her
>think im in love
>probably just because shes the first women ive touched in forver, but who cares
>she wakes up, we have breakfast, things are going good

CONT.

Just fuckin continue to the end plssss

Same here man. Didn't come here expecting to share this feel

"think im in love"
...o

Shut the fuck up

CONTINUE FASTER. I AM INVESTED IN THIS STORY.

A little pick me up would just do it. I don't really want to go into detail, but it was gruesome

^

Lmao you neckbeard shitter. Go fall in love with the first girl you see just like OP.

I'm holding off sleep to finish this damn story. Let's finish up OP.

Yer story is ghey
Grill in picture is 10/10

continue that shit

I wish you get hit by a bus.

...

File name is madi.jpg, has to be legit

File name is madi.jpg, has to be legit

yo man you in this lmao

dis nigga type slow as fuck

Falling asleep here

Come on OP, Type faster, I'm tired of waiting.

>things are good
>2 months into the relationship
>my retard garbling is almost non existent, Im able to initiate sex without acting like an aspie
>havent worn the rolex more then twice since our first date
>sits in a lock box at home
>too nervous to wear it anyway
>we've been talking about planning a trip together
>havent talked too much about it, just that we want to
>at work
>secretary says "Madi line 1"
>weird, she never contacts me at work and if she does, she texts me
>answer the phone
>"hello darling"
>she sounds kind of frantic and rushed
>"hey user, i just found the perfect trip for us, its a tour of europe, but we have to leave now, tomorrow at the latest or we wont get the deal!"
>tell her that I cant really leave right now, but i might be able to tomorrow, as i have no real active cases and have lots of vacation time saved up
>ask her how much tickers are
>she says $4000 a person all inclusive round trip but if we dont buy the tickets now, we wont get the deal
>i tell her i dont really have the money for that right now and that we should talk about it more when i got off work
>she sounds angry and flustered and says she'll see me when she gets home
>driving back from work
>feel bad that i just made the only girl ive ever loved angry
>decided I have to do something i should have done a while ago

CONT.

Nigger im almost passed out drunk what the fuck os the rest of the story

>after eating breakfast we sat together holding hands
>at this point my autism began to kick in again
>so I got up
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

Low tier bait

Don't try, user

I'm at the edge of my seat OP

Did somebody say 'Fake OP'?

>decided I have to do something i should have done a while ago
barrel_roll.exe

Simply want this negro to hurry up with his story.

im on the edge of my seat, post haste user

Cmon, OP was in it 4 romance

everything is better than Batman vrs Superman

Gonna have to find a rekt thread to keep me amused while his slow arse types the rest of the story.

It is real time. OP just an hero

Checked

...

Cont. Op

It's gonna break my heart if crim & using

Kek

OP, I have a flight tomorrow morning, and you're the only thing keeping me from good sleep. Hurry tf up

NIGGA you didnt even build up a good enough cliff hanger. You ruined your opportunity

natural nesting instinct already kicking in two months into the relationship, demanding richfag user to provide her with a vacation. this is going south

Where you heading to

Better not b wit Madi

Dewy cheatum and nigger

Cali for a vacation

Shhh, don't tell OP

I know lawyers charge by the letter but come on man this is in your free... Type faster

>not op here
>ffs.gif
>need to hurry tfu
>i have finals in 4 days

>go to the jewler that I bought the rolex from to ask for a refund
>they're closed after 5 pm
>drive down to the pawn shop
>ask them what they will give me for the watch
>he says without the box or papers he can only give me $4000 as he needs to turn a profit
>try to haggle but im too beta to get him to go up
>fuck it, it wsa just collecting dust
>should have enough to cover the trip now
>call madi, and it goes to voicemail
>send her a few texts
>couple hours go by, no reply
>next moring try calling her
>no reply
>drive to her apartment complex
>her car isn't there
>apartment door locked, blinds drawn
>thefuckisgoingon.txt
>go to work, keep calling her periodically
>call her work, they say she didn't show up today or the day before
>dont really know any of her friends
>a few days go by and im worried sick
>to the point where im crying and almost puking
>cant eat, cant sleep
>finally after the 4th day with no contact I go to the police department to try and file a missing persons report
>i explain my story to the police and they tell me that I cant file a report
>beg them to do anything they can
>i give them her name and my number and to call me if they find out anything
>next day I get a call
>its some investigator
>apparently there was a hit and run a few days ago that left two adults and two kids dead and that Madi was the main suspect
>heart stops
>about to throw up
>start my aspie babble again
>can barely comprehend what this guy is telling me

CONT.

>barrel_roll.exe
OH
GOD
DAMN
YOU
Well at least she didn't ask you for TREEFIDDY and turn into the loche ness monster.

U going to San Luis Obispo, i'll show your ass the town in my jesus walks sandals

kek

Uhm, 7000 for a watch? You trying to get gold diggers? 'Cuz that's how you get gold diggers

PS Fuck these storefronts

"I fell in love with a killer
i did did drill her
she rode my cock
instead of my usual cuming in a sock
i fell in love with a killer
her name was madi"

He has a fucking Rolex that's useful for countless first dates

You're right. What I should have said was:

>after eating breakfast
>six million niggers kicked the door in and proceeded to rape my Rolex
>they then stole the gril
>unfortunately for them I'm George Zimmerman though
>so I literally shot each and every one of them individually
as soon as I got to the last nigger
>I open the door
>get on the floor
>you cannot flim-flam the Zim Zam you fucking nigger.

come on OP continue this shit

Based madi

This is getting juicy

>hit and run that left two adults and two kids dead
Holy shit.
>main suspect
HOLY SHIT.
At this point since murder is brought into the story I'm star g to get suspicious. I'm going to check to see if there is news about this.
Don't let me down OP.

Holy shit.

D... Does anybody else see the party hat?

Pic related

hello newfag

yeah

But as u know: flim-flan=zim-zam the killer [spector] crowd's goin wild op, the people's champion

Party hat?

Ye

Dude why the fuck would anyone vacationing in Cali go to Slo? I been to slo, it's a nice play dont get me wrong, really nice, I'd love to live there, but to vacation there? That nigga probably going to hollywood or SF or SD or anywhere but Slo tbh

Yes because it's Cred Forums's birthday

That's fucked up I'm sorry user.
~§ending good vib€$

>sigh
Fuck off newfag

Holy fuck, child. get off this website.

No. What hat are you talking about?

Post results if found

Please finish story op

welcome to Cred Forums

Slo isnt nice but its where i live. Idk maybe user wants sum college chicx

>holy fuck, child.

Go back to Tumblr faggot

Did you see the non-captcha

Dude it's pretty nice tho. You got dank beaches and shit, countryside, a costco. Better than LA lemme tell you that. It's hot and fucking traffic. One of my best homies is from Slo, place sounds so great

Lost my shit at wigger jim

Ya but sum1 in LA Miley Cyrus is taking a dump

>smug sue

Top kek

Jesus OP, type this shit out before hand, and post them like 1 min apart
This is taking too goddamn long

Agreeeeeed

POST MORE YOU FUCKING BASTARD

Feverishly jacking off to this

>months go by
>haven't heard from her
>police havent found her
>they did find her car ditched in the middle of the boonies
>damage to the front of the car removes all doubt that she was the driver in the hit and run
>killed 4 people
>police say she's most likely being harbored by friends or family members or she ran off to mexico, i live relatively close to the border
>don't know if ill ever see her again
>think about her everyday, all day
>even after she killed 4 people, tried to hustle me out of money, and abandoned our relationship, I still love her
>pretty sure ill always love her
>still working soul sucking job
>still no social life
>hate my job, hate my life
>part of me hopes that somehow she'll come back some day

And that is my story user. All in all, life is pretty bleak. Haven't met another girl since, probably never will. Also lost $3,000. It sucks to suck.

Losing interest..... hurry the fuck up.

Fucken hurray up op or ima smash ya faggot

Here's something to laugh at while we wait.

Got any nudes of her?

Long story short OP hung him self, then he voided his Bowles.

That's fucking it?!? I waited for that?

That was anti climactic.

You're not OP, right? Becasue if you are, that's the most anticlimactic ending to a story I've ever seen.

>tfw you can't find anything on this hit and run whatsoever

Someone needs a starfish

it's a biochemical thing user, it takes about three years to chemically get over someone you loved and lost. hang tough for a few years and you'll be back to normal

>life is bleak
Yes indeed.

See you in another life.

...

fuckin rip

Alright sleepy time gnight thanks for story time

to be honest i thought that story was going to end in you transferring her $8k to buy the tickets and then never seeing her again.
at least you got a few months happiness out of it.

fuck you

these stories are making my soul sucking loneliness even worse... the feels

thank you for posting, opie

glad you're not an accomplice at least

>tattoos

Let's find her
sum1 pick me up in slo, well be done before dinner time

IKR I CAN'T FIND SHIT EITHER. I'M FEELING THE TROLL FROM OP MAN.

Thank you for sharing.

Link to porn please, user

is pic related?

Did u ever fuck Madi's anu$?

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

why the fuck are you guys thanking for a story holy fuck are you guys from reddit

OP post news article or time stamp of her or smth. Cuz the way that ended and with the fact that I can't find shit about this hit and run anywhere makes me feel like you're shitting us.

If it is, then I understand why OP is such a faggot

Shut up James

Welcome to Cred Forums David, this has been a thing for the past 12 years.

I kinda Hope you got sex worth of 3000bucks then.

OP failed to deliver. So I will invent another, better ending.

>months go by
>haven't heard from her
>police haven't found her
>damage to the front of the car removes all doubt that a woman was driving the car
poorly, as they tend to do
>one day out of the blue
>at a BLM protest
>protesting for DeShawn
>he shot 3 cops but they killed him so WTF
DINDUNUFIN
>out of nowhere a car comes flying down the street
>takes out a huge crowd of niggers
>omg, it's her
>she gets out of the car
>proclaims that she never passed her drivers test
>I was like...well I guess this all makes sense now
>she also professes her undying loyalty for Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party
>I happen to hate niggers so not sure why I'm at a BLM protest
Oh yeah, for the keks
>we live happily ever after in Germany after the AfD takes control of the country and the 4th Reich ensues

The End.

Did u caulk that butt joint?

Hi guise this is madi

That... That was beautiful user

Amazing

Op, iv tracked down madi's current #: (818)4592049

I wouldn't know how the user base behaves as I have never been on the site.

since you seem to be so familiar with it, perhaps you would find better company there?

put a hit out on her

to everyone complaining I was typing slow, sorry. I picked up drinking a couple months ago, im pretty drunk, and i decided to share my story so i was writing it as i was going

Kek bravo good sir. Bravo.

You're welcome, gentlemen.

Kek what the fuck why did I laugh

My ending was better.

Check'd. Tits or GTFO.

Except for the reich didn't care about people being black. You're thinking of the ku klux faggots

Did u at least fuck her in the ass? Or r u 2 much of a gentlemen?

...

A sad love story, op. Made me sad for a little bit. When I read the first lines I was interested because I'm studying law myself Now.

>In the criminal justice system, Sexually based >defense are considered especially heinous.
>The dedicated detectives that investigate >These vicious felanies are members of an elite >squad Known as the Special Victims Unit,

>These are their stories...

No we are not gay like you and your blm dom Tyrone who uses your prolapsed asshole out like a vagina.

Very low bar

>hurdur popular opinion

Go read a book faggot

Ste>law
op, how u feel u a loya n madi didnt trust u 2 keep her outta the pen?

Nah bitch I just hate nazi cunts like you.

You do not belong here.

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Dindu Nuffin & Partners

Thx op a charming way to spend a few moments in my scary cabin in the woods

Enuf. Nazis fuck off. This is now a sexual stories about me, madi, thread

I probably have your grandfather's bloody old broken jawed ss skull hanging outside my front porch.

Fascist = Judging by facial and/or ethnic traits
Was the SS fascist? I won't answer, because IU'm french and in my country there are laws that can get me to prison if I speak my mind about world war 2.
But as you can see from the picture user posted, the SS had many PoC in it.

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Hitler, Hitler he's our man, if he can't gas-'em, nobody can!

How the fuck has no one pointed out that subway has never served pastrami or rye.

Fuck you all. Seriously.

well this thread took an unexpected turn

I don't listen to nazi pigs. You guys are better dead hanging from my porch

Nigga meant...cousins

>order spaghetti and meatballs
>she orders chicken spiedini
>she makes another joke about how I love meat and balls
>try to make a joke about her being a chicken
>I feel the autistic babbling coming
>fight it off by making "bwaak bwaak bwaak" chicken noises, flapping my elbows like wings
>godfuckingdamnit

Jesus fucking christ, OP. My sides have left orbit and are chasing down the Voyager.

Dammit!!! Did not anticipate picture fucking up swastica.

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Your leader is a pussy who killed himself. Brb gonna burn 50 more nazi uniforms and flags in my bonfire

You don't know jack shit about national socialism though so your opinion is invalid. You see silly bald headed mongoloids parading around with a swastika and all the sudden you think a war that ended 70 years ago has anything to do with that?? Go back to Tumblr idiot

most people probably aren't familiar enough with subway's menu to know that

I certainly rarely eat there.

Yeah I got it you love to talk about your porch.
I'm not a nazi tho, I don't even vote.
I was trying to stay neutral, not my fault my post ended in 88.
You filthy jew.

Your so tough on the internet.

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We need Cred Forums detectives to find out if this story is real or not
For me, it seems weird that he is a lawyer and can't talk for shit. That's really weird.

I'm to lazy to gather all screencaps, but if someone else can do it I'd love you.

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Here hitler
cnn.com/videos/world/2016/09/16/italian-woman-commits-suicide-revenge-porn-jpm-orig.cnn

Part II
I swear this just in guise
ifound madi's tits on my borch
dancing madly i picked her ass off my couch and threw it thru the fire-flames GUITAR SOLO!

I smell a communist

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I'm what would have been if Marx had a retarded baby with Lenin.
At least I'm not a cultural marxist.

And you're uneducated on the Internet and real life. You literally have no reason to be butthurt unless you're a wealthy zionist in which case fuck you and what you've done to Palestine and everywhere else.

Same here user

**you're

You give real lawyers a bad rap with your betaness.

Communism is extortion. You're dumber by the second lmao

I expected her to turn out being a guy after all that meat ball jokes

X is Y.
Always better with arguments.

Pretty sure this is the plot for the movie gardenstate OP.

>labour jobs

No one would volunteer to do shit jobs for free. If they do it only for food that's slavery. No one will cooperate without incentive on a grand scale. Either I OWN my own land, work it and keep to myself or you pay me.