Hi Cred Forums, applied for a job and got a drug test soon. Heavy pot smoker and literally smoked yesterday...

Hi Cred Forums, applied for a job and got a drug test soon. Heavy pot smoker and literally smoked yesterday. Without getting fake piss whats the best detox option?
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Define soon. If you're a heavy smoker I expect you need at the least a month before you can give a clear sample.

I've got my second interview today. I can TRY to buy myself 2 weeks since I have to exit my current job but worst case scenario i believe is 48 hours from the successful interview

Just get some friends piss then.

The last time I smoked weed was in the 90s. But I was a school bus driver and got hit for a random piss test. I was all uptight about it because I smoked the night before and I woke my roommate up and begged him for a solution. He just told me to drink as much Orange juice as I could as fast as I could before I went in. I went to the store and bought 2 gallons of OJ and 1 bottle of Sunny D. (I had no idea it had 0% juice at the time.) I drank orange juice until I puked and then I drank a little bit more. Then I drank more and puked again. Then it was time for my test.

All I can tell you is that I passed. Maybe the tests were different then and maybe it doesn't work any more. All I can say is that I got high as fuck the day before a piss test, then OD'd on OJ and I kept my job for another year.

Well I had to take a drug test recently and no pisses was involved. It's a swab in the mouth nowadays for companies

Run a few miles, get sweaty, rehydrate. Apple cider vinegar.

Literally all my friends smoke and do other drugs. Literally don't know anybody whod have clean piss
Had a friend who got the same job, he had to piss. Id ask him for piss but he's back to smoking since he got hired. He used a 3 day detox drink and weighs less than me

I'm 99.99% positive that McDonald's doesn't give a fuck if you wake and bake, dude.

Same user. Most jobs around here don't drug test, but to be safe I'm trying to smoke as little as possible. The only time I smoke is with my friend maybe every 2-3 days or so. Haven't bought any in a month.

Not mcdonalds, bestbuy

>McDonald's
True. I have a friend that works at McDonalds and literally everyone there smokes weed at the restraunt. It's a ghetto one so idk.

Quit being cheap and get the fake piss. Best way.

Not enough time for shipping assuming the worst case scenario and it's a monitored test i believe

>as if that's even better
You could be a fucking cadaver and get a job there. They have a high turn over and are desperate as shit.

One time I smoked alot before a day of a drug test. Went to nutrition store and bought some detox shit. Drink that with alot of water. On your third piss after drinking go pee. I passed.

Not saying its any better, but i know for a fact they drug test

So you're worried about a $10 dollar an hour job. That's fucking sad. No wonder you're a stoner.

I take what i can get and its better than my third shift 7eleven job

Then you must live a sad goddamn existence. Go the fuck to college. Or learn how to program a computer. Moron.

/thread

I'm homeless and support my mom financially because she has no income and I'll take bestbuy over factory work

I was homeless before.

Also, why can't your mother work? Why can't she go and get assistance like SSI or SSDI?

I'm on disability myself and they're giving me a check and helping me back into the workforce by trying to land me a job that pays above a living wage or at least a living wage.

You're going to be stuck in a rut and I really feel bad, dude.

I was a heavy smoker and I was high when I had to take my test. Drank a 64oz big gulp and a packet of vitamins. Apparently I passed.

thcdetox.biz/story_5.html#athomemethods

She's gotten declined 3 times for ssi cause straight white privilege and is going through the courts to fight it. Could be another 3 months before we hear back

>straight white privilege
If a middle age white woman can't get SSI then it sounds like she's not as disabled as she says she is man.

SSI is needs-based. SSDI is for disability. Hence why there's a D in it.

Then fucking appeal and she might get it. It took me five fucking years to get it and when I did get it, guess what? They gave me nearly $20k in retroactive and a check every month. Your whole generation seems like losers. No wonder you wanna be a retail schlub.

Take saunas and sweat it all out of your system

there not going to watch you piss OP. bring baggy clothes, a jar full of clean piss, thermometer, lighter, and heat it up to 105f in the parking lot. i get tested at least 4x a year for work and havent gone more than a week and a half without smoking since 2004

Been about 4 years since. She is disabled physically so i dunno why ssi is being a bunch of cucks

my brother used to down litres and litres of cranberry juice, flushes you right out in a couple days apparently

Dunno anyone with clean piss. Literally my whole near family smokes and all my friends are druggies cause I'm autistic and can't meet normal people i guess

stop smoking and apply for a different job in 4-6 weeks dumbass. control your fucking urges. bet you're one of those potheads who insists weed isn't addictive, despite the fact that it just interfered with your quality of life and opportunities. now to be helpful

dilution method is very unreliable. if you have the cash get a piss test from walgreens and do a practice run or 2. b vitamins make your piss waaay too yellow, you'll get failed on that alone. you gotta hit the sweet spot of drinking a shitload of water, taking the vitamin, pissing a few times while drinking more water, then taking the test when it looks normal. practice for color before wasting the practice test, or conversely, test first to verify dilution is safely possible. anyway i hear they test for creatine levels too to make sure you don't dilute, so consider picking up a supplement. but seriously start looking for a different job and rethink your life choices.

Go and get some soap on your finger and accidentally touch the stream. If you're lucky you got some more time.

sincerely doubt it's monitored. someone may be in the next room or outside the stall so you don't have time to fuck around. getting the temp right on those is an art too. the handwarmers they come with make it too hot, and the piss cups have little fishtank thermometers on them to catch shenanigans

b-but its a shitty job with his stoner buddy user

She wouldn't get SSI. She'd get SSDI. She probably claimed to have a back problem and Social Security thought she was just a junkie.

Oh I know, dude. Like woah, tv's and electronics an d shit, man. So far out.

so she just needs to take some Ds for income is what you're saying

topkek

Nah she needs to play like she's fucking disabled. Get a doctor to sign some paperwork. It's a pain in the ass but she'll get a check eventually.

Exactly. Under a bridge