Anyone else have this problem?

Anyone else have this problem?

My GF gets mad every time I buy something nice for myself, even if it's a necessity but especially if it's not. She also seems to get mad when I do things to be successful (example: I started a business).

It's not as simple as her stating "I'm mad you bought this". Here is a perfect example: My car died recently. I need a new car. She knows I plan on getting something nice that I've always wanted - but I mentioned that I want to test drive some other models just to make sure nothing else catches my eye. She tries to turn it into an argument and make it about her by saying she doesn't want to spend her weekends/free time at the dealership with me (we both work all week). I make it simple and tell her she doesn't have to.

She then tries to tell me I'm overthinking it, basically I should just buy something and get it over with because cars are cars and the differences are minor. To which I tell her that if I'm going to spend a lot of money on something I want to at least compare it to a few other models.

I feel this immense push back anytime I buy something for myself or try to become successful outside of wageslave 9-5 work (like when I started my business). She has this round-about way of arguing with me that I can tell she hates what I'm doing but she doesn't come out and say it, or WHY she hates it.

Some extra background:
>I am financially stable, save about $1500~ a month, zero debt outside of a motorcycle that I'm about to pay off and sell anyways

>She has mega debt. Normal debt like car loan, student loans, etc. but also a ton of credit card debt from shopping and poor money management skills (10k~)

In her defense she has been making a strong effort to pay that debt off (mostly because I told her it was a deal breaker if she couldn't prove she can be more mature about her finances).

Anyway, what the fuck is going on here? Is it just jealousy?

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your girlfriend's a cunt, dump her. you can do better, and that's not a thing a lot of anons can say. Tell her you're tired of her starting bullshit fights for bullshit non-reasons and that if she tries to contact you she'll be on the ass end of a harassment suit.

Take the tampon out. Trade in your purse for a pair of balls. Tell that bitch that she doesn't control your money and she has absolutely zero say in how you spend your own money you earned.

If she has a problem with that. She can go find some other faggot who will grow a vagina and put his balls in her purse.

females are always against anything that makes you happy unless they did it for you. tell her to talk or get the fuck out. seriously. man up

Agreed your Girlfriend is a cunt.

Just imagine how people would react if the genders were swapped.

Dump the bitch.

Yeah I've actually done this, but I'm getting tired of doing it. It doesn't seem to "work" do you know what I mean? Like.... it'll work momentarily until the next purchase comes up. Then she's salty all over again.

I've gotten her to open up about it before, and it always just seems like the answer I get is that it's jealousy. Example: I used to work part time (2-3 days a week) making less money than she did, but saving more and managing better, so I paid my bills and didn't have to work as much.

I always felt like... who cares where I get my money or how much I work, as long as I pay my own way? She was always salty because she worked full time and was still in debt, could never take a day off. She HATED the fact that I had free time to myself. She has even told me now that she's happy I work full time because now were "more even".

She has a hangup about "equality" within the relationship, but not in some feminist way (I'd be running if it was) - more like, it goes both ways - she wants me to be doing the same amount of work she does, nothing more nothing less. Just one example. If I do more, she feels inferior and doesn't want me supporting her. I've even offered to pay 100% of everything because I can and she refuses.

I don't get womens logic.

Do a Falcon punch

You deserve better OP, don't waste your time in toxic relationship.

That's a simple but effective way of looking at it, thanks user. Yeah, I can't even imagine how she would react if I even reacted about how she spends her money.

I mean, she makes a lot of poor financial choices and I just go "whatever, your money, your life". I never judge her outwardly, I just keep tabs on it in my head to see if she's wife material or not.

You should punch her in the penis OP

She's either afraid of being left behind or she's narcissistic

She isn't wife material op.. You deserve better

Could you elaborate on the "afraid of being left behind" part?

What drives people to feel this way? If I liked you and keep you around when I'm poor, I'm gonna like you and keep you around when I'm rich. I have never been able to understand why someone feels they will be "left behind" ?

I'm even more likely to keep someone around from before riches than after. At least you know they liked you before you had money.

i'm kinda thinking there is something else to this story. What do you feel about her, anyways? Why are you two together? Is this all you're mad over?

she has no right to control you either way, but don't smear it in her face that she makes poor decisions (it would make you just as guilty)

I first thought is she is afraid of change.
As you become more successful she become more and more afraid that you are going to leave her so she is trying to hold you back.

crab mentality

You could reassure her

Yeh just sounds like she's upset you aren't in the same financial situation as her. I can understand why she feels that way but the fact that she would project that onto you is worrying. That's going to really strain the relationship. There isn't much you can really do here. You'll have to wait until she isn't in that position any more and feels more on par with where you are in life. Women, while not exclusively, are more likely to be envious or jealous of their partners success.

Marry her
>problem solved

MGTOW
G
T
O
W

don't fall for the girlfriend meme

get a fleshlight

It's your girlfriend's passive aggressive way of trying to tell you she wants you to fart on her boobs. I went through the same thing with my girl when we were first dating, but I figured it out eventually, and we just had our third wedding anniversary

Hey man, as stated here I NEVER outwardly judge her, and I definitely don't smear it in her face. We had a serious talk about our future and how finances play into that a long time ago, and that was it. After that, I haven't said a single thing.

We've been together for almost 3 years. I love the girl, we have a great life most of the time. This one thing keeps bugging me though and it just feels kind of oppressive - I can't buy anything or do anything for myself without her being pissed about it. We have had many arguments over this stuff too.

For instance she wanted to be involved in my business and I told her that was fine, but I needed to decide in what capacity - I just needed time to think about it. A day later she got pissed and told me she thinks it's better for her not to be involved (but in that little kid way, like, she thinks I don't WANT her involved) so I said fine, I think that's best too.

She's a controlling asshole, get out now. My brother's getting a divorce now 'cause of a bitch like this, dump her and get far away.

just curious, what do you do for a living OP ?

OP, I'm going to give you some real advice. If your GF isn't the most supportive person in your life, dump her. Seriously. As long as you're not some kind of fuck-up, your GF should have your back.

She's a jealous bitch who is probably not outright saying anything so you'll eventually marry her so she can divorce you in three months and take half your money.

She's literally just a crazy fucking female.
Talk to her, seriously, one more fucking time. She can mature and grow up and fucking drop it or she will continue to fucking be like that until you're more even and spend the free time doing what she wants. You're not experienced with women i understand OP it can be difficult to try and stop empathizing with something that should have a rational, working, logical brain in their similar to our own heads, but i can assure you women are not human.

This.

Honestly, I would set her on fire in her sleep walk out and claim the insurance. There are vaginas everywhere in the world, it's not like she has something unique. Just get another one and tell her the rules right from the start. Any infraction gets a strike, 3 strikes and it's burnt toast. Real, real nigga believe in beatin them hoes down. Push her head into the wall until you hear that crackin sound

youtube.com/watch?v=lqB2YVMHwiM

I work in law enforcement during the day, full time student by night (finishing my degree), and run a new startup business in the small amount of free time that I get. I'm trying to develop the business into a full time job. I also have about 5 other business ideas I want to pursue on a part-time basis but I've held myself back partly because I don't want to fight with my girl about it.

She is a lot more supportive when she is involved. If it's something I'm doing/buying on my own, she hates it.

She is very independent though - she's a member of a lot of professional organizations and clubs and volunteer stuff, etc. So it's not like she doesn't do her own stuff too.

I guess I'm trying to find logic when there is none. Maybe she is just the controlling type. They will make an argument out of thin air.

Is this all that's bothering you, OP?

It's probably just a tick. Get the fuck over it and do what you want. Unless she does really horrible shit to get her point across does it matter what you do with your money? ITS YOUR FUCKING MONEY, man up and do what you want.

She won't leave you cause of this shit anyway and you seem super fucking attached to her to post this shit on Cred Forums so let it slip out one ear.

OK listen to us and stop trying ot defend her, she obv isnt supportive at all and wants to bring you down with her, better to focus on yourself and your company and not some pussy thats bringing you down.

>She is very independent though - she's a member of a lot of professional organizations and clubs and volunteer stuff, etc. So it's not like she doesn't do her own stuff too.

That explains it. She's an attention whore. She needs to be recognized for her contributions to whatever the subject is, including you. She wants you to take her opinion on the matter as the proper choice.

Jesus christ you sound like a pussy

If she's gonna nag on you about something that you wanna do for yourself and its for the betterment of you, and you'd rather not do it just to not piss her off, then I hope a really aggressive nigger doesnt come along and smack your bitch ass around during work

TBH I am pretty attached to her, but despite that, I've always just done whatever I want to do anyways. I have never let her stop me from buying what I want or starting my own business, or anything else.

I'm posting because I want to see if anyone else has dealt with this. My previous girlfriends were never like this, shit, if anything, they would have been happy for me to be successful so they could live rich off of me. It's confusing me that my current girl doesn't like that idea. Sometimes it seems like she'd rather keep me down.

It's absolutely jealousy. She sees you being successful buying what you want making smart financial choices. She fucked her life up and she's turning it around on you.

I lived this way forever in a dead end marriage. This is a girl who will get mad at you for watching porn then never wanna fuck. This is a woman who will spend money as soon as it touches her hands because she has no restraint. Who will open credit cards in your name (you'll find them once you get divorced.) Nothing you do for her will ever make her happy and she will blame you for her being unhappy. Whats more anything you do to make yourself happy makes her hate you because she feels trapped by her own stupid shit.

Dump her before you get her pregnant and she fucks your shit up.

I got a kid from mine and its the only thing that makes those years worth it.

She hid bills, socked away money a full year before divorcing me out of our shared account smiling to my face the whole time.

I am fine now, own my own metal shop, she on the other hand is bleeding some poor auto worker dry, i see myself years ago in his cold dead eyes.

Get the fuck out while you can and date someone who's not a shit. And if you cant find one...know what, being alone ain't so bad when you take care of your own shit.

And trust me if you can take care of your own shit you don't stay alone long.

Sounds like she has some minor control issues. I had an ex like this. But she would go postal because of drugs and alcohol. Any time I tried to better myself, all I heard was "You care more about your job than you care about me." As well as a bunch of other nonsense.

OP, what I'm saying is, even though she's independent, and you're trying to be independent, she sees a serious future together. She doesn't see her money as her money and your money as your money. She see it as "our" money. So, instead of efficiently articulating her frustrations, she turns to negativity to let you know her feelings. It's something you two really need to sit down and talk about. You two are at a crucial stage in the relationship. I'm assuming you two have been together for a good while and are already living together/talking seriously about it.

I know you're trying and good for you. But don't. Men don't say women are useless crazy cunts for no fucking reason.
She is not being honest.
If she told you exactly what the fuck that small mind was thinking you SHOULD break up with her right then. But you probably wouldn't.
Most women are seriously, honestly, sincerely fucking out of touch and astoundingly susceptible to emotional imbalance because they literally cannot control themselves.
3 years, and you still think she's a good person? I know she is not just by what you have told us in one day my friend. She is unstable, jealous, vindictive and horrible like any other woman that doesn't have their life bend to every whim.
No one mature and capable of growth should act like that for more than just one year of being together and involving finances. You seriously need to fucking drop her and find someone new. If not for the fact she's mentally unstable then do it just so you can learn what i say is true.
IF THE PERSON THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR PARTNER IN LIFE IS NOT THE MOST SUPPORTIVE AND MOTIVATIONAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, THAT IS LITERALLY FUCKING RETARDED AND BACKWARDS. THIS IS YOUR FUCKING LIFE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT AND YOUR FUCKING MONEY. You're fucking retarded for heing with someone like her and trying to save something that was broken before it started.

>"She wants you to take her opinion on the matter as the proper choice"

That's hard to hear but it kinda hits home to be honest, thanks user. Damn. That would explain why we argue so much when we have a difference of opinion - she just can't agree to disagree no matter what.

I've dated my fair share of women and this is something that happens later in the relationship; since there's a stronger bond between you two any act that doesn't include her could probably be a show that she feels like "codependency" and equality is what keeps things together, and if you pursue too many endeavors alone she'll lose you... that is, if you are correct and EVERYTHING else is great

tl;dr you aren't the only one, you're both too attached, its just a human thing, let it slip OP

Sure it's been said already but your GF sounds like a controlling bitch. Also if she's bitching about you buying things you need or even "gift" for her and shit then she want's or perhaps "expects" you to help her pay off her debt.

Id tell her to seriously lay off the nagging, dump the bitch (unless it's still somehow a stable relationship) or leave her and move on.

Just imagine how fun it would be when you get married lol. If that somehow happens you better get a prenuptual imho.

Yougot a negative energy chick man, she will drag you down your whole life. You won't understand now but when you do get a new gf one day you will realise how bad off you were. Even a uglyer but more positive enhousiast girl will change your life

...I've never encountered a woman that had negative feelings towards my purchases or advancements. Either positive feelings or no feelings at all. OP I really don't know what to tell ya, your girl doesn't make a whole lot of sense. You should dump the dumb bitch and date someone successful.

And it's because she wants you to recognize her as smart/caring/etc. It's a negative that's coming from a good place. If you don't take her side or accept her opinion, it feels as if you don't care for her or value her

She sounds like my sister in law. She's always trying to take my gf down a bit hc whenever she tries to be successful for herself. Always has to one up someone

Sounds like your gf has narcissistic tenancies. Do other arguments have to revolve around her in some way?

I'm trying to wrap my head around this, why would it feel like I don't care about her or value her (or "understand" her, as she likes to say) just because I have a difference of opinion?

I get that certain differences are deal breakers.... but why the small stuff?

Seems like a toxic relationship.
Tell her that if she can't abstract her own well being when judging you (she shouldn't even do that...) and can't just be happy for you and boost you up, the relationship will end.

At a time I started to do sport on my own and other "self productive" stuff with my own motivation and got nothing but ignorance. It was hard and the relationship ended in the months as she wouldn't even look or speak to me (also for other reasons).

Anyway, she should be happy for you, as simple as that. Tell her that.

She's probably cheating on you, dump the bitch.
If she's going that far out of her way just to piss you off she's a cunt.
Simple as that.

post moar lol

Possibly superiority complex stemming from low self-esteem or a sense of lacking purpose.

Okay regardless of what kind of person she is, OP, if you have anyone in your life that doesn't support your dreams and decisions you need to get rid of them.
You said you want to persue business ideas, that is your dream. And you said she gets in the way of that. She will fight you over it.
She will get in your way and make it hard.
Why keep her there? 3 years and you said you have talked to her and she is the same.
Can you give up your passions and dreams for someone who will not support them?
You get one life. You shouldn't spend it with anyone who won't make that one life easier and more enjoyable.
I say to get rid of her.
It doesn't matter if people's feelings get hurt. Shit happens.
Just don't let your life be shit because of someone else.
Your own fucking mother shouldn't stop you. Why should this woman.

I'd never heard of crab mentality, so I googled and read what it meant.

Neat term.

This is me again by the way.

Someone mentioned co dependency and god damn are they right. You don't see it till your away from it. It starts out as, Oh well she wants to be involved and wants me to do things with her. Huh...ok. Its a little odd she wants to go to the metal shop cookout with the guys. Then suddenly you find yourself dragged to a scrap booking lunchun (seriously she became a 30 year old woman who acted 70) and your going how the fuck did this happen to me. God send a bolt of lightning down and end my fucking suffering! I know the likes and dislikes of all the sex in the city chicks...Please please let one of these women have a gun in their purse and be off their fucking meds! DO IT FUCKERS! KILL ME!

What i mean to say is, man the fuck up or that could be you.

That makes sense. An ex of mine had a car when I didn't. She told me point blank, "When you get a car, you'll probably forget about me, won't you?"

To reassure her, got a Vespa.

How does a cop have so much disposable income?

You know I can kinda see that. On the outside, she looks very motivated and all that. She's always trying to get higher paying jobs, climb the professional ladder, and be part of organizations and groups. To be honest, all sorts of stuff I would never do. I would rather (eventually) work for myself.

But knowing her, I have wondered sometimes if she lacks purpose. Sometimes it seems like she just spins her wheels at what she knows (her job/professional life) instead of soul searching for what she really WANTS out of life.

TBH I'd be happy if she was happy and poor and allowed me to be happy and do whatever I need to do. Maybe she's just stuck in the rat race and doesn't know anything else.

fucking ouch.

How often does she make these shitty arguments with you? Could be an underlying issue

Or a down kick

Truth told, user, your girlfriend sounds like me. I'm not great at finances, and I come from a family that has declared bankruptcy three times. My girlfriend is from an affluent family that (despite only having one parent due to a tragedy) still manages to be much more wealthy than both of my working parents.
I am shit at keeping my books and being up on rent and shit. My girlfriend is a saint for putting up with it. TO me, your situation sounds like the reverse of mine. Your girlfriend is bad with money, and has debt- money is probably a huge stressor for her. She gets weird when you spend your money because she probably views you as being in a committed, long-term relationship, and hopes that you will help her. That thought might not be what she even really wants (because needing help to be an adult is embarrassing), but that thought comforts her, knowing that you'll help her because you care about her.
It isn't right of her to do, and she has no right to tell you what to do with your money. That said, it sounds like most of it is her anxiety and fear of her debt haunting her. Try to help her with managing her funds and bills, and explain that you understand that money worries her. I bet she'll apologize for trying to be controlling, because it just sounds like a knee-jerk anxiety response.

Well, needless to say, we broke up after a while. And transportation had nothing to do with it.

We ended it over the loss of our unborn kid.

TL;DR:

>She got preggers
>Baby died
>We split up
>I have a bitchin' Vespa.

I live in one of the top paying states, honestly most people think we're overpaid and I wouldn't necessarily disagree. High crime though. I also have extra income from my side business, and like I said.... zero debt.

I have paid cash for my college education from working and refused to go into debt, but I'm also finishing later than most people would, which is why I'm already well into the workforce. Also, I spend nearly nothing on my GF since she mostly refuses my help.

Its just that you let her be a cunt. People like her need to not be let act like that. Every time shes a cunt and you dignify her cunty brhaviour by arguing against it or complying with it, you let her carry on being a cunt.

When she cunts out, either ignore her, tell her to get fucked, and whatevet you do, do what you were going to do.

She wont leave you. If she had it in her to then she would have by now.

Grow some fucking balls.

>>She has mega debt.

Yeah, leave the relationship. Never date a girl with massive debt. You're her walking wallet.

Sad about the kid for you, i like having mine even if i ended up divorced.

Still learning to love the vespa and enjoy it i see has made you grow as a person.

It makes me happy someone had a happy ending here!

You should've totaled her car to prove she doesn't need one to have you.

To be honest it's not that often. It's mostly for "big" stuff... like a car. But mine broke down. It was my first car, I had it for nearly a decade and bought it used. I also plan on buying a used car this time, just... not a shitbox.

Almost a year ago I bought something that was a couple grand, and we had arguments about that. Otherwise, it's mostly been about my business and the expenses involved. Getting it off the ground hasn't been cheap.

Thanks for the other-side comparison. This might be helpful, and I'll consider it. However, I've offered to help with her finances ... like, teach her how to manage, how to save, budget, etc. She doesn't really want my help. I've also offered monetary help and she's only let me take over one bill - a storage unit that we BOTH store stuff in.

Then why won't she let me pay for shit?

It sounds like she's just going to always be in your fucking balls about being equals and having her opinions validated.
She might be a decent gf but can you really fucking stand having her dragging you and your dreams down with her?
It's not fucking worth it. She won't be happy until you're doing the exact same shit. Fuck your dreams buddy. You get a gf that bitches at you when you spend YOUR money.
If that sounds good then don't do anything.

cause it'll probably make her feel inferior if you did. Like you said, she wanted to be equal.

It would have been my first and only child. We didn't know she was pregnant until we went to bed one nigh and she felt what she claimed was labor pains. She went to the bathroom and bam! Aborted fetus in the toilet. I didn't hit me until after the breakup. But it put a lot into perspective:

If I'm ever told the words "I'm pregnant/It's yours/I'm keeping the baby." I'm gonna just man the fuck up and do what I have to do.

The loss of the child and relationship taught me how to be a better person towards my next girlfriend.

Helping raise her daughter from a previous marriage also got me incredibly optimistic about fatherhood whenever the time comes.

She wants to be a strong independent woman who needs a man to validate her independence.
Does that sound fun to marry?

God damn who cares, right? I fell on hard times a couple years ago and borrowed money from her. I paid it all back immediately upon my first few paychecks. Partners are supposed to help each other, who cares?

I just don't get the inferior thing, or needing to be equal. Fuck bro, if my girl was some rich bitch I'd love it if she helped me out, maybe financially supported my business ideas, etc. I don't get it lol

What the fuck does that EVEN MEAN?

I semi feel you brother. However I was out of town for a funeral and I couldnt be back to comfort my ex. Same thing though. She decided to abort against my wishes and it was a leading cause to a 4 year breakup.

Either way though I guess it was just another one of lifes lessons that i'll know about better in the future.

From what I read here, its not enough for me to know how good a girlfriend she has been to you, OP, but it seems like she gets unhappy about your success because you're more successful than her, and a partner that's unhappy about your success is a big warning sign.
You need to talk to her, and she needs to do something about herself.

>4 year breakup
That's a pretty long breakup.

Lol I don't get it too, OP's girl is a weird one, from what I read above, she probably care alot about not being equal.

She doesn't like you bro, she likes your bank roll dawg.

Sorry havent slept in 2 days. But 4 year relationship turned into a breakup. You know what the fuck I was saying heh.

You seriously don't see that she's jealous of you being financially better off than she is?

She wants YOU to pay her debts and shit. The whole thing she's building up to is "Well, why don't you tell me what I should spend my money on?" to which she'll nudge you into bailing her out of her shit and become her own personal ATM long term.

This is exactly why she is mad that you are buying thinks YOU can afford. You are her support cushion man. If you ever get married she knows you will be right there with all that saved cash. Run man. Now.

You do sound like your talking yourself out of alot of what you suspect is the problem.

She may not want your money, but she is in your shit about stuff she has no say at all in.

You arn't married, replacing your first car is your own thing. She has 0 say. none.

She is angry because she cant do the same. She will never EVER admit that she feels inferior to you for your success.

You gotta talk about this stuff minimum. My X just got angrier and angrier at me when i was doing well, she did less and less and got more irritated with me by the day.

She eventually didn't work, and refused to even clean up her own clothes. Asking for a clean house bare minimum made her feel like a child so she acted like one.

Its a slippery slope when you arnt 50/50 in a relationship it can breed resentment. Try to keep it in check by being honest about whats getting at you is the best thing you can do.

Not bringing it up isn't sparing her anything in the long run trust me.

What kind of business?

Dump her she's probably going to hold you back in the future. is her 10k debt combined? Or is that just from her poor money management.

This will never change. A person like this never changes. If you expect to continue to succeed in life, you need to dump the dead weight that is quite literally trying to hold you back.

no level of communication and understanding will stop a cunt from being a cunt. Leave her. My gf is behind me every step of the way. I can't imagine what it would be like not having a supportive gf.

i was thinking of asking the same question, but her level of debt, irresponsibility, and general cunt attitude made it irrelevant

Thats tough stuff man. Sorry to hear about it. Ours was a surprise and i do not regret it. We may be divorced but when it comes to that kid we do the right thing. I like the X way more now then when we were married.

Its interesting to hear people here that have actually lived some life and have something meaningful to say on it.

Good luck on the next gal and i hope it works out better for ya.

You seem anal retention and obsessive. You two are not a match

Lol that is women for you op they like to control shit. Quit being a massive faggot and tell her to eat your dick Everytime she mentions you spend too much money. My girl does the same shit when I buy something and it works for me.

she's jealous of your trips

see
also this

OP the general consensus is saying leave her. If somehow you are that attached to her make her change her ways. But just like

Says it's near impossible. Bitches be bitches. Crack addicks be addicts (even after rehabed)

I don't see it getting much better unless you tell her to get the fuck off your ass everytime you need to spend, and sadly once you have she more than likely make the relationship worse till an inevitable breakup. Sorry brother.

bro. run.

I guess theres some truth here. I just still have a hard time wrapping my head around it. She has a better car than I do. It's newer, nice, etc. I've been driving around a decade old shitbox that has side damage, rusting, a broken windshield and finally enough repair costs that I'm ditching it and buying something nice.

But thats just how I am, I wanted to save as much money as possible and get as much life out of it as I could. My girl wants a new car, even though her's is fine. So I think she's jealous I get a new one ... and one that I want that isn't some econo-box. I plan on buying a sports car cuz I've worked and saved for it.

It's weird because we've talked about it before. Like when I bought my motorcycle - she got super jealous that I was riding it a lot. (it was my first bike, so I was learning how to ride FFS) and she was jealous I had the time to do so.

I keep just telling her that she can have this life too. She actually makes more money than I do salary wise. I probably make a little more with my side business - but she makes more at her job than my job believe it or not - only by a couple thousand, but still. I keep telling her, just pay off her debt no matter what it takes... if she wants to work part time and have more free time and still pay her bills then that's totally fine, I dont give a shit. I want to do that eventually too, which is why I'm developing my business. I honestly wouldn't even be pissed to hear her complain about - I just get pissed that she projects it onto me and tries to hold ME back.

Honestly
>this
Your girl is a dumb bitch.

I just got out of a relationship with a girl like this

I would work, she would do nothing -no cleaning and cooking

when I got home and if I had to do something for work or had some news about it I only ever heard complaining

I really never got support ever, and was always paying all the bills and cleaning and cooking

girls that mess with your head about moving forward and especially if they don't do anything themselves are very dangerous

/thread

10k from poor money management + helping her parents (which I can overlook) because they fell on hard times and would have been evicted otherwise. It's about half from helping, half from shopping needlessly.

Past that, she has car loan, student debt. That's about it... but I consider those "normal" debt and I don't factor it in really.

I don't want to get too specific to be honest, sorry fam. It's still taking off and I don't want anyone to steal my shit. All I can say is that it's a semi-niche category biz and I was the first person to put it out.

makes sense

I'd give her until the end of the year to have half of that 10k paid off. If she succeeds, then there's hope for her. If not, dump her and move on.

/thread

I'm sure she has lots of nice things. Newest tablet, Phone, Clothes, Dinners out. Theirs a reason shes in debt. My X always had nicer stuff then me as well, Because like you i drove a car till it was paid off then kept it on the road 10 more years.

Some people just handle money poorly. Unfortunately what makes this situation bad is her resentment of you. She isn't acting maturely at all. You don't want to date OR marry someone with a Disney princess mentality.

Your girl is such a stereotype i'm starting to wonder if you are trolling. It's been said elsewhere in this thread, she doesn't want you to put your time into other things you find satisfying in life. She wants everything to be about her, but honestly man, she isn't worth it. I'm sure she thinks she is, like the spoiled little Disney princess she sounds like. Find a girl who isn't like this man. It's worth it. I don't know how much more convincing you need. She will never, ever change. I've seen so many relationships with girls like this go down in flames. Hell, my mom was like this, and the savage divorce pretty much ruined all of our lives.

Dump her you fucking retart

I think it'll take her a little longer than that, but trust me I have my eye on it and my own plan/timetable that I keep to myself. The biggest thing, which you're implying, and is the most important to me is that I see her making steady progress.

So far, I have. It's been incremental, but she's doing it. She used to be subscribed to like a dozen monthly box bullshits and since then, she's cancelled all of them and instead put the money toward her debt. When we go out, she lets me buy the drinks and stuff and moreover we've simply cut down on going out period while she pays her debts.

She HAS made progress. 6 months to a year ago her debt would have been double what it is now. So she's doing it, but it's a long road with the interest charges, and it's taken her a long time to give certain things up.

I'm not cold hearted enough to not realize that it probably pains her to see me buying expensive toys while she is giving up everything she likes. I just don't expect someone to give me shit for it. I think she would be a lot happier if she let me pay some of her bills AND I bought shit I want along with it. Money is money and I don't care - if she wants a long term future with me, TBH, she should suck up her pride and let me cover an extra $500 a month or whatever while she puts that extra $500 toward her debt as well, effectively doubling paying it down. That kind of money wouldn't break my bank. Sometimes I spend that much a month on bullshit just cuz I can.

Yeah its a bitch to come home from a 16 hour shift only to be met with a disaster wreck, dishes in the sink, all the OT money spent on some bullshit.

She was a hoarder, when she moved out i got the house she got the stuff, i gave it all up...My neighbor met me at the door when i got out of work. "dude i got bad news...she got like everything." I open the door. Computer desk, laptop, books, beanbag." I used to dress in the entry way because there was no room for my uniforms in the bedroom...when i saw that empty box i almost cried i was so happy. "FUCK YES!" Neighbor was confused but laughed.

I ate ramin off a Frisbee that night, and its one of the best meals i've ever eaten in my life.

Definitely not trolling but I see where you're coming from. I guess she is kinda a stereotype, lol. I'm complaining about all the bad things here, but she's also got all the good stereotype aspects too.

Of course money is a big issue in any relationship and that's why I'm so focused on this. Like I said here I do see her making changes, but it's slow. I guess the ultimate question will be whether she's able to change fast enough, or change enough period. She might just hit a wall and regress or do it all over again. Time will tell.

Man I have the exact same problem. I'm a semi-professional musician (in that I do make a fair bit of money from performing, but I have to keep a regular 9-5 job for stability) and have therefore had to buy a few new bass guitars/synths whilst seeing my current girl. She fucking hates it, and it makes no sense given that all of these purchases have been made responsibly (as in, not at the expense of our financial needs).

It's funny how many girls are exactly the same. This is how my sisters relationship with her ex went. I'm not even going to tell the story because you already did.

first post best post

This.

OP here.... bro. I had the same problem. Before I got into law enforcement and business, I actually made a living as a touring musician on a "professional" level (meaning, I paid my bills and didn't work a second job, but I was never platinum or anything lol)

I left school, and I went on the road. I still play but it's more hobby based now - however, I was still set on my dreams of doing music when I first met my current GF - and it became a huge point of contention. She hated the idea and one thing led to another and I got really involved in the law enforcement field. But during that time, she fucking hated when I did ANYTHING music related.. whether it was meetings, rehearsals, shows, etc. Women can't handle that shit, period. If I ever go back to music I will be single.

Stay on top of it man. Don't let yourself be looking back at 10-20 years of regret. I'm sure she must have some redeeming qualities, otherwise you would have ran for the hills a while ago. You should list what they are for yourself and judge their worth next to her negatives. If how hot she is is the most important thing on that list, that's a red flag.

My girlfriend does the same OP, but in a different way.

I earn $3900 a month, quite normal. My girlfriend earns just $1900 a month.

I have expansive hobbies, they are: Fishing, Whisky and Watches. I see no problem spending $2k on a watch, or $300 on a bottle of scotch.

She has no hobbies. She gets jealous, spiteful and neglectful when I buy myself something I enjoy. She'd rather I spend it on a holiday for us, but I don't want to.

Just gotta get on with it.

I think some people feel threatened in a relationship when they aren't the highest bread winner or more successful half (even women). Sounds like that's her problem. People feel insecure about themselves when their partner is doing better than them, whether it's financially, physically, socially, whatever.

Although there's a reason she's acting like that, it's still a shitty reason. Real men and women don't compete with their partner. You should be lifting each other up and encouraging growth. The hating and jealousy is deadly. I hope you don't marry that girl...unless she grows up.

Why are women like this user?

It's like you're describing my girl

Just the other day:

>We haven't been on a vacation ONCE since we've been together!!!

>Babe what about the trip we took out of town for your best friends birthday 2 years ago? Or the local trip we took last year? Or that trip out of state this past may? Or the local trip we take every may?

>YOU JUST DONT GET IT. IT'S NOT A VACATION WITH JUST THE TWO OF US

>Yeah that's true, I would like to take a vacation with the two of us two. But we spent X number of dollars on trips for birthdays, family events, etc etc. None of that was mandatory, we chose to go - we could have instead stayed home and put that money toward a vacation for the two of us

>BUT WE HAVEN'T BEEN ON VACATION AND I HAVEN'T TAKEN A VACATION IN YEARS

>I haven't taken a personal vacation since I was 18 and it was the only vacation I've ever taken because I grew up with a single mother who eventually wanted to give us a nice experience because her mom died and left some money behind.... so whats your point?

> YOU JUST DONT GET IT REEEEEEEEE

I feel like it's a lose-lose scenario though. If I let her be the "bread winner" and I quit my job to just have a ton of freetime to work part time and pursue my business, she's gonna bitch about being jealous that I have a lot of free time and she doesn't.

maybe she thinks you're a materialistic fuck and wants kids or some shit

Leave her, red flags all around, selfish cunt, megalomaniac, egocentric etc

Shes dragging your life down, the pussy isnt worth it

Have you tried telling her to shut the fuck up?

People that complain about their girlfriends drive me fucking crazy. She's just your gorlfriend! You're not legally wedded to her! If she bugs you so much that you have to complain about it to strangers online then maybe you should break up with her. That's the beauty of not being married. You can end it whenever you want. SO FUCKING END IT.

it doesn't have anything to do with breadwinner. Shes just pissed off that she isn't in control. Thats what all this boils down to. She wants to control you. Normal people dont give people shit for perusing personal interests.

Getting mad at you for playing music, or buying a nice car when you replace your shitbox. These are not healthy things.

You need to look real hard at lots of stuff shes doing, fucking mind games. Little petty shit. It gets worse the longer it goes on.

Mine started right about the time she quit her job and gained a bunch of weight. She didnt feel like hot shit anymore and took it out on me.

You have shit tier communication skills, user. Why are you telling this to us and not her. "I think that your objections are just hiding the real problem. Why don't you tell me the real reason this bothers you?"

holy Buddha, where is a 21MP camera when you need it?

Been there done that friendo, women don't work that way. You can't approach them with logical questions or statements.

Complaining about your partner is a good sign that the relationship is in jeopardy. Just find another set of nice warm holes to stick your dick into, ok, user?

Thank you user not op but I needed to hear this

this

Fucking break up with her. The longer a relationship lasts that has shit like that in it the worse it will get don't waste any of your time. If the bitch can't be happy for you she doesn't care about you.

Hes right you know. Asking advice is smart. You just gotta ignore the idiots and the wizards here.

Besides all the (mostly good) advice given in here: OP, you appear to be a reasonable and understanding person. Wish you good luck with her understanding that she's not inferior. And I'm sure you're doing your best to make her understand that. Hope she's worth it and that you'll eventually come to a situation to where everything all this boils down to can be cleared up!

Advice is free, What you do with it is priceless.

This. Kick her out. She is not worth your time.
Just an example from my side :
I bought some very expensive stuff for my private electronics lab. Spent around 800 $ for one special device. She saw it was kind of surprised but did not start an argument or got angry.
It is the same when she buys something for herself.

We both are able to handle our money. We have no debts. Otherwise I would also break up with her if she would spend than she has...

She in dept and you're not. Buy somthing nice because your relationship sounds toxic anyways. That way once she leaves you will have a nice car and don't regret listening to this crackhead. If you are arguing about things like this I don't even want to know how shitty and unstable your relationship is.

OPs GF sounds like a cunt to be sure.

But you do not sound like a real prize either.

you are trying to reason with something that doesnt have any reasoning or accountability.

You sound pretty driven and ambitious. Maybe you unconsciously talk down on people that aren't like you: "Don't want to be just a wageslave for the rest of my life." Maybe she's content where she is and you make her feel like she's wrong about that.
Just communicate really.

you are a fucking moron. or more likely a woman.