What exactly is expected at a first date? How far should you go?

What exactly is expected at a first date? How far should you go?

I've been on 3 first dates this year, and they all said different things depending on what I did.

1st I was probably too creepy about. We went bowling and had "arranged" that 1 spare = 1 hug and 1 strike = 1 kiss. Well, I got a strike almost immediately and I approached for a kiss and she denied me and was considerably freaked out for the rest of the night. I suggested that we could go for a walk up to a viewpoint and just sit there and chat, but she just said that she had to "go home".

The next date, after learning from my past mistake, I just sat there having good conversation. Not approaching or anything other than a hello and good bye hug (we love to hug each other in Sweden even if it's strangers meeting for the first time, so that's not weird, it's the norm.). Afterwards she wrote that I was really attractive but that she wished that I had done more and kissed her.

3rd date, this time I tried a middle ground. I hugged the girl, and when we started to go towards the place we were supposed to be at I "moved" her forward by holding my hand on her lower back softly, and not for too long.
I also tried subtle signals that I was interested such as sitting close, touching her leg with my leg, brushing her hair to the side while complimenting her that she looked good in glasses etc. She didn't look TOO freaked out, but she said she wasn't used to people being that physical on the first date, and we did have a good night. Sadly she could only see us being friends as she still thought I was a good guy. Just that she has such a hard time falling for someone, she's only done that once (she was 14, 27 now).

So Cred Forums, what level of physical contact is expected or acceptable at a first date?

Obviously date #1 belonged in Creepville, but date #2 might've been too little, I don't know. Is what I did at date #3 acceptable?

I don't think I'm THAT ugly. I'm by no means Brad Pitt, but imo i've seen girls with boyfriends who look way worse.

Pic related is me. 2nd one is a better picture of how my beard looks right now as the 1st pic has bad lighting and is a bit old.

kiss on the first date but don't make up some autistic strike=kiss bollocks.

Now, I am autistic for real (diagnosed Aspergers), but that was actually her idea... I thought it was weird, but I guess the autistic thing I did was believe what she said to be true and not take it as a joke...

it's weird she brought it up without meaning it, i'll give you that.

third date sounded closest to what you should be trying to do, but the touching her hair thing could have been what made her feel weird. making touching seem inadvertent is sort of part of it, so like your legs touching was good just make sure it's not obvious that that was actually your intention. and kissing at the end of a first date is pretty normal so go for that too as long as she doesn't seem uncomfortable

keep trying then pal, it wouldn't have worked out if she wasn't aware how to properly communicate with aspies

Alright, thanks for the tip.
Both #2 and #3 seemed to enjoy my conversations, so I suppose I don't spill spaghetti out of my pockets, I just need to finetune what I do in a physical manner.

Kiss at the end, good to know. I suppose if she's up for it before that she will show some signals, but if not then I shoulöd wait until we say goodbye?

90% Of the time, absolutely must kiss at first date. Usually goodbye.
The other 10% is in case of really shy and inexperienced girls. You figure out which one she is thru the date or texting beforehand. Kiss them no later than date 2. Must build solid amount of comfort with them.

yeah man, for sure i've kissed girls near the beginning of the date too, it definitely is all context, and clues would be like touching your arm a lot or laughing at everything you say. pretty basic stuff.

it sounds like you've got a pretty good grasp on this i'd say just don't give up. you learn from bad dates too so don't be upset about them if you can help it because you learned what not to do.

Also, dont target physicality, its obvious.
The hand om lower back in crowd is easily the safest one to make. If you talk alot and gesticulate a lot too then you can pull off the touch her shoulder a bit while explaining something.

Honestly OP moving a chicks hair to the side only works in romantic comedies you doing it has a really rapey vibe
She is the one that's supposed to be making "incidental" contact brushing into your leg and grabbing your arm when she laughs, you are the one who's supposed to be a fucking man making her laugh and acting like it's not a big deal so she has to impress you

protip: every girl is different.
you have to learn how to read the situation.

Huh, I don't get it? Whats your end goal here? Is it to have kids? The wold is already overpopulated.
Is it to have sex? You don't know how to masterbate?

Alright, I actually read that tip somewhere in a forum, that's where I got it from.

To get a girlfriend. I've had girlfriends in the past, but they've come natural through school and friends. Sadly I moved away 4 months ago so until I make new friends and such I am forced to talk to strangers to get on dates.

fuck dating, use escorts. they are cheaper in the long run. have fun with 10/10 which normaly wouldnt speak to you.

If you don't fuck a girl on the first date, you're a faggot and a beta. Kill yourself.

Fuck that. Nothing beats sleeping next to a girl who whispers "I love you" in your ear after you've made her cum.

I miss that and I want that again.

>To get a girlfriend.

gayyyy

Well, excuse me for enjoying companionship.
Having friends and fuck buddies is great, but nothing is better than walking around holding hands and having a girl wrapped around you who can't stop hugging and kissing you.

Honestly this. After several partners and getting closer to 30 I cant even imagine myself in any serious relationship with my current experience about dating the modern women. Hell, Id go as far as to say that even escorts arent worth the $ but I guess its just my sex drive depleting as I grow older.

Well, sucks to be you then, bro.

putting women on a pedestal is the dumbest thing a man can do in 2016

fucking beta

On the first date I always try to make good conversation. If she talks 60% of the time that is good. Then I start looking for signs. If she talks stupid shit, starts fidgeting or bites her lips I grab her hands. Is he grabs back I can go in for the kiss any time I want. If it didn't work so well, I suggest that we move to another place, preferably somewhere I can sit next to her and there I make my move. If nothing works, at the end of the date I grab her hand and ask if she wants another date. At that point it is safe to go for the kiss. One girl surprised me once, though. She rejected all my moves and right before we left home she started kissing me directly with her tongue. Went on some other dates with her but haven't fucked yet.

are you seriously this sensitive you fucking faggot

I didn't come here for a cringe thread.

Putting a woman on a pedistal is doing everything for her without question for the chance of getting laid.
Nowhere in what I said is remotely similar. I wrote down what I enjoy and gives me pleasure.

Alright, cool, thanks for the tips.

Diff user here

Sorry mate but youre the last fucking person here to call anyone a sensitive faggot :)

That wasn't me (OP). I wrote my response in

and yet you're making it one
zing

good luck in life you sperg

I'll give you a tip tho: go for the kiss halfway the date. Continue to make out and try to F-close at the end. Either way always make a move, better to soon than not at all. My general rule of thumb is if she's nog found a reason to blow me off after 2hrs of hanging out, that means she's interestad and waiting for you to make a move

The thing is if I get a date, it means the girl already likes me. All I have to do is not be a faggot. Not sure how to make uninterested girls interested and seduce them, but I don't really need that. Again, if she accepts to go on a date with you, don't be a faggot and you should be okay.

Also this, every time I failed to make a move on the first date, I never saw the girl again.

yup had this happen too. It really sucks when you reminisce and figure she was just waiting for you to make a move all that time. Sucks man but at least I learnt now

How do I not into a faggot on first dates? Not OP here but curious.

I never bother with the dates, if she's not gonna fuck me I see no reason to talk to her anymore.

Alright thanks. I keep thinking of dates from a girl p.o.v as a way to see if someone is friend material, boyfriend material or not at all. Maybe I should realise that she's at least somewhat interested in the possibility, else she wouldn't have come.

women want to get swept away by the moment. Either way you're the one to lead, or nothing will happen. if your frame is strong enough you can make them do all kinds of fucked up shit, although I just like to enjoy myself and have them enjoy themselves too. Sometimes they'll wander off but more than not they come back because they remember the fun times.

Here's a tip. Don't look for LTR material on tinder or dating sited. Those are bottom of the barrel, seriously.

>Always know where to go beforehand.
>Dress nice
>Always go to a place where you can talk first
>look into her eyes when talking
>never be afraid to disagree with her
>tell interesting/funny stories about yourself and/or your friends
>nobody wants to her someone talk about themselves all the time, that is why make her talk more, but she will want to know things about you
>if you ever get to talk about your ex, make the reason of your break up seem very reasonable