When i was 20 my parents forced me to squat in a quarantined meth lab in poverty against my will...

when i was 20 my parents forced me to squat in a quarantined meth lab in poverty against my will. then my dad conspired against me with my brother to have me "go to the jail or the psych ward," in order to control me as an adult. he kicked me out onto the streets. i stayed with a girl i was fucking. one night at a house show where i smashed the washroom mirror, i kissed a boy and my ex girlfriend, and then when we got back to her place she went psycho on me. she wouldn't let me sleep and attacked me with a knife, so i stole her phone and left. i went back to her house a few days later and we continued our relationship. then i got picked up by the police and was kept in holding cells all weekend for reasons unknown to me. turns out that she had called the cops on me and falsely accused me of rape. i get back in contact with my parents, because i don't know what to do- i have just been falsely accused of rape. my dad lets me come back and live in the quarantined meth lab. the girl who falsely accused me of rape keeps stalking me, but i get a new girlfriend. i try to keep shit together, i date this girl long distance for a month and work as a cleaner. then we meet in real life after a month. i get a job as a landscaper. about three works into working this job, me and my girlfriend, who claimed to be a virgin, are about to have sex, and she rejects me. i dump her, go out partying. at a show, some guy says he's "surprised to see me there," and it seems that he has heard this rumour about me being a rapist. oh also i got a lawyer and the case was settled- i was found innocent, as i was innocent. anyways, the next morning i wake up and have a mental breakdown- i want to jump off the balcony. instead i go to get a drink. except i wind up in a hospital because i feel suicidal. i get impatient waiting for a doctor, so i go and buy a korean guitar from value village. then it turns out that i left my phone on a bus the night before and the police have it.

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chin up man, it gets better. You need to shut yourself off from those people. If you're willing to work hard in a job, you'll go far.

Leave town, move somewhere else and be done with those people. Hand out resumes, cafes are good to work in man, go become a barista. Live you're life away from the negativity and toxic shit.

This

i go to a pub i used to work at to use the phone. the police arrive to "bring me my phone," but actually they are there to commit me to the psych ward under the mental health act. they smash my skull into the pavement. i spend a few weeks in the psych ward. one day i escape from the psych ward and walk for a while, only to be picked up by the police and taken back to the psych ward. when i get out, i buy a computer. i spend the next month masturbating 5-8 times a day, "raping myself" as it were- my ex who rejected me convinced me all sex was rape after i had been falsely accused of rape. i tear open my circumcision masturbating. i lose all of my friends- all of my friends think i'm a rapist now. by chance my ex is on gchat one day and we start talking again and we start dating again. then it's september and she goes back to school- i drive her to school, she goes to school a few hours away. i stay with her in her dorm. i go back home and try to work, but i lose my job and so go stay with her some more. finally she gives me her virginity. after she gave me her virginity, i became obsessed with the scars on my dick from my excessive masturbation, the scarring that resulted from my compulsive masturbation and the tearing of my circumcision. i catch her in the library with some guy she told me not to worry about, and it turns out that she has been lying to me and i suspect her of cheating on me. i go back home and get a new job, in november, and try to work but everything reminds me of how she lied to me and is sneaking around with this guy. one night she's visiting and we're having an okay night- we go out for mexican food, and my childhood best friend's mom is there. then we have bad sex where i cum almost immediately, because i have premature ejaculation from masturbating 8 times a day for a month. we go to the pub to have a drink. when we get back to the apartment, i lock her outside to see what she will do, and she decides to go to her ex's place.

Not one single capital letter. Kys

moar

i take her back inside and beat her. she goes back to school. i keep working. i start drinking at work. one night my family is having a party for my older brother, who ratted on me to my dad and is the reason i was kicked out onto the street. he's getting married. i've been drinking all night, i go to the party, and i wind up punching my mom in the face. my dad grabs me by the neck and puts me out on the deck like a fucking dog to wait for the police to show up. i pick up a tank of gas and throw it through the glass door, climb through the shattered glass, cutting myself, and beat the shit out of my dad. then the cops come and take me away. i spend a month in jail, and i can't get ahold of my girlfriend, who i know is cheating on me. when i get out of jail i have lost everything- my place, my job. my girlfriend is still with me, but she doesn't want to be, because now i'm homeless (also i lost my license to drunk driving in november of 2012). i stay in homeless shelters until may. the shelters are great, they feed you, you don't have to work. i just go to the library and read- bataille, nietzsche, freud, de sade. in may my girlfriend comes home from school, so we have a lot of sex. she has basically shat on me the entire relationship, but now she loves me for sex- this after having convinced me that all sex is rape. one day after sex i snap on her and beat her again. i slap her and call her a whore like my mother slapped me and called me friends whores when i was a kid. she screams, the neighbours call the cops, and i go to jail again. just an in-and-out. they let me out, and i go stay at another homeless shelter. my ex starts fucking my little brother. i get a job, get kicked out of the homeless shelter, and go stay in a low-income hotel, filled with junkies and dealers and other criminals. i get my jaw broken and can't eat for a month and attempt suicide. i lose my job and my parents get back in contact with me and send me money.

eventually we have a trial and i am sentenced to house arrest. i spend three months on house arrest, then two months with curfew. i live in an apartment my dad pays for. living under my dad's roof for some reason causes me to self-harm my genitals. i try to kill myself again. i read the bible and i read kant. wind up living in the apartment that acted as my cell for fourteen months. then i move back to the city. everyone there thinks i'm a rapist. people call the cops on me and assault me. the people who used to be my friends. i'm drunk for a year. then i assault a bartender. the legal shit for that goes on for a while. the day after it's done, to celebrate i get drunk. except i wind up punching a cop. go to jail for two weeks. this is last spring, spring 2016. now i'm sober, and i just want to make it until spring 2017, when my probation will finally be over. i suffer from ptsd and bdd. my feet are still fucked from walking in the snow barefoot while homeless. my jaw is still fucked from getting it broken. my dick is still fucked from tearing open my circumcision. my life is still fucked from being falsely accused of rape. and i've just told my dad about how traumatized i still am from him kicking me out onto the street after forcing me to squat in poverty in a meth lab, so now i guess he's going to stop giving me money, now.

yeah man, i want to. that's what i want. i want them to fuck off and leave me alone and let me be myself and live my life. as soon as i'm off probation, i'm fucking gone. and yeah, i like being a barista. except it's hard for me to work because of post-traumatic stress disorder. i'm hyperaroused and hypervigilant. usually wind up quitting, getting fired, getting committed to a psych ward or going to jail.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯