Alright, Cred Forums. I think I have a problem. I'm looking at this minion development chart...

Alright, Cred Forums. I think I have a problem. I'm looking at this minion development chart. I really want my daughter to be a minion, and she's already 8. She doesn't have yellow skin yet, but we both really want her to be a minion. Does anyone know of any skin pigment shots that I can give her? Is there any way I can make her into a minion? I really want my daughter to star in the new Despicable Me movie, and she has to be a minion.

OP here. I've already asked the doctor, and he has no idea. He called me an idiot, but I know that there are minion shots/pills. I just don't know where to get them. Does anyone have a link for an online seller?

welcome to Cred Forums everybody

just get hepatitis and pass it on user

Will that work? I'm really serious about having my daughter star in the next Despicable Me. We have learned Minionese together and she is the right age to sign up. She is a great actor, and she can make lots of money to go to her college funds.

I got em on deck dawg.

I've tried painting my daughter yellow, but when she showers, it comes off. I don't know what to do. Can someone please help?

Where did you get those? Can you send me a link? Can you give me your email? I'll buy them for $250 each. I'm really desperate.

yeah i think ive seen some on ebay before idk

Mix amoniac (Any brand) with bleach (Any brand too), put some copper coins, start doing bubbles with a straw on it, out some yellow paint, and paint her

Will that work? I'll do anything.

check'd

Mixing the paint with all these will cause it to not fall with water or anything
And yes, it will work

these literally reform your dna structure and form permanent overalls right out of your body.
for $250 I will get you a costume and some body paint.

That makes mustard gas nigga

Mixing it with paint will make it completely safe

No. It doesn't. Mustard gas is an organic compound containing sulfur. Sulfur is not inside of bleach nor ammonia. This means it is not mustard gas. There are also other major differences, but that is a simple one. However, it does create a toxic gas.

Ok. Will try.

Reffer to

Wow that sounds great! Just what my daughter needs! After her mom left us, we've been going through some tough times, but that'll help greatly! Maybe we can finally be a happy little family again.

Yeah. OP here. I'm guessing that the paint would react to the gases, making the combination neutral and safe to consume. Is that correct?

Wait, so which should I do? The ammonia, bleach, and paint combination? Or the minion pills? I have some leftover paint and some bleach. Urine contains ammonia. I could either buy the minion pills or make the combination at home. Which would Cred Forums recommend?

you can be a happy little family for the low low price of $15,999.99
this will get you a packet that will be needed to take in increments.
over the course of 9 months, your daughter will be physically and mentally transformed.

Exactly, it blocks the toxic nature of the mix, you have to put the paint in, wait half an hour, and it will be safe

But I can also just buy a pill for $250 that does the same thing. Or just make the combination. Also, when my wife left, she took all the money we had. Even then, we only had an extra $8,000 in the bank. Now we live from paycheck to paycheck, with my job at the gas station being the only thing keeping us off the streets.

Alright. I will do that. Do you have any demonstration videos so I won't mess it up? Or is this a new home remedy thing? Either way, can you just tell me how to do it step by step. I would like to not mess up, seeing as how it contains toxic chemicals.

I might consider this, either way. I can get a loan from the bank. I can pay it back with the money my daughter makes from playing a minion, right?

wait you guys could make your own minion memes i always wondered how those were made and you can start a facebook page

>Go to a safety room, no windows, get your daughter out and tell her to wait
>Put on gloves
>Put bleach and amoniac into a pot, bigger the better
>Then, amoniac
>Copper coins, 5 will do it
>Add oxigen with a straw, blow them bubbles for 10 minutes
>Add 1/2 galion of yellow paint
>Leave the room for half an hour
>Go check
>Its safe to go

you could buy them individually.
But the process must be completed, otherwise the individual taking the pills will not become full minion.
"it" will become a hybrid human/minion monstrosity.
In clinical studies, patients who turned out this way could only manage to gargle out two words "kill me"
before they began shitting themselves and becoming a vegetable.
So I highly recommend you visit your local loan shark and get the full amount.
Also, for a set of pills that completely re-shape your bone and skin structure, I think it's a pretty good deal.

...

Okay. I'll probably do that next week. I won't have time to go to the store until then.

Does the "hybrid" that it makes still look and act like a minion? Since I can record the voices for her. I mean, we don't have money. Also, does the minion it create still keep the memories it formed as a human? Since I still want my child to know and love me. I don't want to tear our emotional connected I've spent the past 8 years forming.

...

Also, will the hybrid look like this? Since I want her to at least LOOK like a minion.

stuff her with bananas everyday from both ends
if you manage to fill her pussy she will turn into a minnion twice as fast

Ok, do a thread next week about this day and hour

Could I go to jail for that? I mean, it is for a good cause. But she is still a child, though. I don't want to go to jail for statutory rape. Is there any other way to speed it up? Can I talk to a police about the legality of this situation?

Haha! That one was good! I love minion memes.

I won't be able to. I'm running out of money and won't be able to pay our internet connection. The bill comes in Thursday. I'm sorry. I'll try to take pictures and upload them through the local library. Would that be okay? That won't be until at least 2 days after I transform her, though.

If you speak to a police about it you'll lose the custody of your daughter, they wont understand this serious situation

if you do not complete the full process, the "hybrid" will not become a full vegetable, so no, she will not act like anything.
just a waste of life and space.
But with the full process completed, then yes, she will know who you are and still retain all memories.

You think so? Okay. I'll do it in secret.

Go to a friend's house and ask them for a PC with internet

Okay. Good. How can I purchase this program?

Also would this be safe with the other method as well? Can I use both to make her twice as minion?

I mean WILL become a full vegetable

I don't have friends. The best I have is my coworker who is nice enough to take my shifts when my daughter shits herself at school and I have to go pick her up.

Someone is screencaping this, right?

I understood what you meant.

i am

Weĺl, that's good to go

Why would you need to? This is a conversation about my daughter. It is extremely personal. I would appreciate if you would not share it.

you can purchase the program through paypal.
This method is the only true method to turn your daughter into a minion.
but I congratulate you for making a smart choice!
Excellent!
You're making the right choice for your daughter's future.
Oh, also,
If your daughter appears to be tripping out and rubbing against soft furniture, or having any other symptoms similar to ecstasy,
that is just the side effects of the neruo-dna formula working in the brain.
The pills are definitely not ecstasy.

Sadly, he is one of those hippies. He doesn't have TV or the internet. My workplace doesn't have it either. Also, my camera is an old vivitar one I found in the dumpster.

Don't worry user, this is our little secret
Between you and us, Cred Forums

Alright. Unless the other guy can explain to me why the other one would work better, I'll make the deal with you. What is your paypal?

Good.

Shit, guys. My daughter is crying. She does this sometimes. It happens when she thinks about her mom. I'll be back in 20-40 minutes. Please let this thread live. I need all this info.

Dont worry user, we'll be right here

the paypal is listed on our site:

becomeaminionorcookiemonster.us

Screencap user, do a thread when thismone dies, and there give the screencap, call it "Minion and his dad giveaway", we don't want this dying unnoticed

we will keep this thread up

dont die thread

Let's keep this thread alive with hilarious Minion memes

Kek'd

Jfc

...

...

...

haha

IM BACK EVERYONE JESUS FINALLY SHES ASLEEP SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO STRANGLE HER BUT I STILL DO LOVE HER

Cool

Wrong pic

well i guess this thread is dead. bye, everyone!

Someone send the screencap before this tread ded