Cuckold thread

Cuckold thread

Cuck here, i love seeing cum flow from my wifes pussy.

arent the guys supposed to have huge dicks? this seems pretty average maayyybe above average but not by much

Bump for no black guys

If thats above average, then im huge

Don't believe porn so much bro.

That black guy's dick is smaller than mine. I finally win

Jesus, this place really has gone to shit.

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That's a very black man.

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Two of the replies were from Israel..

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Oh no, that's my girlfriend! I'm being cuckolded!

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Can we get one good cuck thread some faggot doesn't shitpost in?

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And yet they rank highest (or nearly so) in happiness indexes every year.

Turns out that assured income, health care, public utilities, housing and other services leads to happy citizens even if they can't live a completely unfettered capitalist lifestyle.

Fancy that. I know I'd rather ride a bike to work and use public transportation and know that my life and well being are secure than being forced to work for a paycheck which may or may not cover everything in an emergency.

Fancy that.

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This is some really good 9gag humor you have going in this thread.

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People in this country are trained to think that buying things is happiness.

I myself think that I couldn't live in Canada because shit is so expensive. In reality, shit that is expensive there isn't shit I need.

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Even better is licking up every last drop fro her dripping wet pussy

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I thought he looked below average.

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am I a cuck if my girlfriend was legitimately raped?

>PS Ive been able to turn relationship into an open-closed one. open on my end

Beta

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Good point!

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Why isn't anyone else asking for more pics of your sexy ass woman?

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One of the best reads I've ever read

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We like bikes thanks you

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Bunch a god damn homosexuals if you ask me.

No one likes you. Its past your bed time little jimmy. Let the adults talk

thats cool why dont all the niggers and preteens that feel that way go to denmark then instead of shitting up my country with bad voting?

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whois?

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if this isn't the most failed cuck thread I've ever seen.

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Gah fuck what are you?!

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WHITE POWER WINS AGAIN

cuck

lul that nigger dicks is way smaller than my white dick what a faggot.

before he became king of the ooompa loompas

What's funny is that one White guy took down an entire cuck thread. Me.

turns out its their country too.

and you better get used to them shitting up your country. because its their country now. welcome to being a minority shit bag.

Congratulations, you're retarded!

Shut up, nigger.

And you're a cuck. Invest in hollow points and pull the trigger. Make sure you put it against your temple. The gun that is. Not the nigger's dick you're sucking.

That's the tinniest nigger dick i've ever seen.

I'm white. I'm just not as ignorant as you.

Then you're a cuck. Well guess what? I'll be taking down every single cuck thread on Cred Forums tonight. Enjoy, pussy.

How am I a cuck? I never even look at threads like these, I just clicked on it and saw that some retarded autist (you) was proud of wasting an hour posting pics no one cares about except himself. Anyway good luck with your mental retardation friendo.

God bless.

Treating other human beings as equals makes you a cuck.

Kill yourself. You are everything that is wrong with this country you piece of human filth.

>thinking that niggers are human
Harambe was more of a human than any nigger.

White Pride Worldwide!

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i fucken lost hard and im not even playing wow

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cuck

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TIT FLANDERS STOPPING BY

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MY DICK'S CUMMING BLOOD, MY DICK'S CUMMING BLOOD!!!
OHHHH, FOR JESUS FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!!!

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   | ノ      ヽ/⌒)
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entire generation of 12 yr olds can not tell the difference between cuck and interracial now

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> Mfw some faggot finally decided to kill the cuck threads
> Mfw I can't post pics because he posted all the pics.

God speed sir. God fucking speed.
Cucks must Die.

Time to take back OUR fucking board.

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DO IT, just DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just… do it! Some people dream of success, while you’re gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you’re not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? … DO IT! Just… DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now, lad.

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I’m str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can’t w8. We should convers8, I won’t ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don’t hesit8

˙ʇı ןןɐɔ noʎ ɹǝʌǝʇɐɥʍ ɹo ,ɐʇǝq, pǝɹǝpısuoɔ buıǝq ɟo ʞɔıs ɯ,ı ˙ʇı ʇnoqɐ ʎɹɔ oʇ ǝɯ oʇ ʞןɐʇ ʎןuo puɐ ‘ʇıɥs ǝʞıן ɯǝɥʇ ʇɐǝɹʇ oɥʍ sʎnb bɐqǝɥɔnop ɹǝʇɟɐ ob sʎɐʍןɐ sןɹıb ǝsǝɥʇ puǝ ǝɥʇ uı ˙ʎpɐן,ɯ ɹoɟ buıɥʇʎuɐ op pןnoʍ puɐ ‘qoظ ǝɔıu ɐ ʞɹoʍ ‘ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı ˙ǝuoz puǝıɹɟ ǝɥʇ uı ʇnd buıǝq sʎɐʍןɐ ı ɯɐ ʎɥʍ

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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

That’s it, I’m done. Fuck this chat. It’s devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That’s it. I’m done. I’m uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to fucking Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be fucking smarter discourse

ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ғᴀsᴄɪsᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴏʟғ ʜɪᴛʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴀɢᴀɴᴅᴀ ғɪʟᴍ “sɪᴇɢ ʜᴇɪʟ ʟɪғᴇsᴛʏʟᴇ” ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀɴʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ.

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fuck niggers

Hello Alkaizer, this is Hollywood director and producer Eddy Pasterino. We would like you and fowtini to star in our new movie: Naked Skorñorita. You will go the the inn and see fowtini lying in Leah’s bed and she will want your Skorn but you say “No Skornerrino” and topdeck her. Pls no hastalapasta baberino.

hi mi name es giorgio i woerk in potatoe faktory and since mi padre died in a donkey waggon accident i leav mi wife and ugli daughter to become a pro leagueue of leyendaerio player, everydai i watch rainamndio. i just wante to sai thank you veriyi much rauinmanio i improvd from bronce 5 to wood 7 in just 6 months. plz no copato pasterato dis is onli my life. i ALso killed mi dog. Sorry fo mi bad englando im not NA

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….

Hey Faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

“wtf his ult did like 3k damage how is that legit” – leonardo da vinci 1496, founder of the Illuminati

Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I’m a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m’lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I’m sick of being considered ‘beta’ or whatever you call it.

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.

There's some shit going on Cred Forums right now. It's like a Civil War going on Cred Forums. And there is two sides, oldfags and newfags, and newfags have go to go. Anytime oldfags want to have a good time ignorant ass newfags fucking it up. Can't do shit! Can't do SHIT, without some ignorant ass fucking it up! Can't do nothing! Can't make some original content thread open more than 100 posts. Grand opening...grand closing. Can't see cool posts on the front page... WHY? Because newfags are talking about THE BEST.

This is NOT copypasta. I repeat NOT copypasta.

I know coming to Cred Forums for advice is a top notch bad idea, but I honestly have no where else to turn because this situation directly involves my family, and friends.

Let me start from the beginning, I am 18 and my sister is 21. I just finished high school and my sister is home from college. I guess this year her grades started slipping or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what's up and she hands me a letter - apparently she's up for review by her college for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I've made out with girls before, but my sister blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she's my sister and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my sister has more experience and it felt so fucking good.

Here's the dilemma - after making out, Karen started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my pants down. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh come on Jordan, aren't you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my sister is a hottie and I always wished that she wasn't my sister. I've even gone as far as to fap to thoughts of doing her. She then said "For tonight, let's not be brother and sister. I really need this because I feel like shit right now and our parents won't be back till late and we aren't going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just fucked my sister. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my sister. My question, Cred Forums, is WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they fuck their sisters?

Pic very related; that's Karen.

When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

I'm an Alpha male Cred Forums.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; I popped in the game in my new NES and pressed Start. I started at World 1, of course, and began playing. During this, I got used to the controls, map, and all that jazz. After all, it IS supposed to be kinda like a tutorial level. So I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly. In the back of my mind, I knew that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult. I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard.

And no, this is not copy pasta.

Cred Forums is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
Cred Forums is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
Cred Forums is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
Cred Forums is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
Cred Forums is the guy loitering on Park Ave. that is always trying to sell you something.
Cred Forums is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
Cred Forums is one who first introduced you to Goatse.
Cred Forums is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
Cred Forums is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
Cred Forums is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
Cred Forums is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date, Cred Forums laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who Cred Forums called for you.
Cred Forums is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
Cred Forums is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser.
Cred Forums is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
Cred Forums is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
Cred Forums is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
Cred Forums is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
Cred Forums is the only one who understands what the hell you saying.
Cred Forums is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
Cred Forums is the uncle who has touched you several times.
Cred Forums is still recovering in the hospital, after trying something he saw in a hentai.
Cred Forums is the pleasure you feel guilty of when you tried playing with your anus during masturbation.
Cred Forums is wonderful.

I realize that most of you have ether forgotten what Cred Forums is or are simply newfags who don't know.

Cred Forums is not where we make posts talking about our personal lives and our problems...we're not your fucking livejournal
Cred Forums is not some place where we giggle at memes....we're not fucking YTMND
Cred Forums is not some place where we make confessions we're not fucking grouphug
Cred Forums is not some place where we find pictures on other websites and post them here ...we're not fucking ebaumsworld
Cred Forums is not some site where we go to jerk off to hentai pics....we're not fucking aerisdies
Cred Forums is not some place that you go to, to get someone to hack your girlfriend's e-mail account because shes cheating on you for the 15th time...we're not your fucking personal army
Cred Forums is not some place you go to ask for help with a personal problem, we're not your fucking psychologist
Cred Forums isn't some place you go to trash talk other people you'll never meet simply because its an anonymous board with "no rules" and you can get away with it with out any repercussion...we're not a fucking group of internet tough guys
Cred Forums is not NICE

so Cred Forums....what IS Cred Forums...i want to see how long it takes for someone to get it.

When I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the fuck out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small tits will entirely black and blue, her pussy was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actually hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over her face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick, and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of high school kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

...god I’m fucked up.

I'm looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (that's Japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (that's Japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (Korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i don't want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

anymore bro?

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I WAS JUST MASTURBATING AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT. I WAS IN MY ROOM, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON, I WAS TOTALLY NAKED SITTING AT MY COMPUTER FAPPING AWAY TO A VIDEO ON REDTUBE. ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE'S THIS REALLY SHARP PAIN IN MY DICK, LIKE IT JUST GOT STABBED WITH A SEWING NEEDLE. I JERKED MY HAND BACK AND IT BUMPED INTO MY COMPUTER TOWER, WHICH SITS ON THE DESK. WELL, I HAD MY STICK OF DEODORANT ON TOP OF THE TOWER, AND THAT BITCH FELL OFF AND LANDED DEODORANT-END-DOWN ON THE HEAD OF MY COCK. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID THAT HURT, AND ON TOP OF THAT IT HIT SO HARD THAT IT ACTUALLY FORCED SOME DEODORANT INTO MY URETHRA. I'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING BURN SO BAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUMPED OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR AND STOOD UP BECAUSE IT HURT SO BAD; THIS CAUSED MY HEADPHONE CABLE TO GET YANKED OUT OF MY SPEAKERS, WHICH CAUSED "OH YEAH BABY COME DEEP IN MY TIGHT TEEN ASSHOLE UH UH UH" TO GET BLARED THROUGH MY FUCKING HOUSE AND ALMOST MAXIMUM VOLUME. NOW MY EYES ARE WATERING FROM THE PAIN OF THE DEODORANT INSIDE MY COCK BUT I MANAGE TO PUNCH ONE OF MY SPEAKERS HARD ENOUGH SO THEY TURN OFF. I LOOKED DOWN AND NOTICED BLOOD DRIPPING OFF OF MY COCK; I GUESS THE LIP OF THE PLASTIC DEODORANT THING BIT INTO MY FORESKIN AS IT CONNECTED WITH MY COCK. THE BLOOD WAS DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG.

THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF MAYBE 6 SECONDS. IT MAY SEEM BAD BUT IT GETS WORSE. JUST AS I'M STANDING THERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, MY BEDROOM DOOR FUCKING OPENS. MY DAD WAS STANDING THERE WITH MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER TO JOHNS HOPKINS. I FROZE AND HE STARED AT ME, NAKED WITH MY BLOODY ERECTION FOR MAYBE 15 SECONDS BEFORE HE NOTICED MY COMPUTER MONITOR AND THE BRUTAL ANAL SEX SCENE GOING ON FULL-SCREEN. HE IMMEDIATELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING.

goddam this made me kek.

screencapped.

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Today was a day that will forever be the climax of my life, at this point, nothing could get any better. That little cunt is going to get it, him and his fucking family. They are all going to die. ALL OF THEM, ESPECIALLY THE FUCKING CHILDREN.

You see, it started one day, and I was at the fresh young age of 12, the first day I ever saw him. He looked friendly at first, but little did I know that that exact day I had met the devil himself, just in a childish form. He asked for my name, and I said my name, which is Caleb. And almost as soon as he heard my name, he yelled out (let me tell you that this was inside of a school) "Hey, everybody! It's Caleb the Cunt-Sucker!" Everyone laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Even the teachers were laughing. It was degrading, it was down right.....damning. It continued thought the rest of my years in school, and I even went as far as almost committing suicide.

After I got out of school, I got a job at a local garage. It wasn't the cleanest, or well-paying of jobs, but it got me threw. I had to stay at home, I hardly had any money, let alone have money to pay for a house. One day, I was driving back home, and I saw him. And not only did he have a perfect house and a perfect car, he had a family. A picture-perfect family. I snapped that day, and when I got home, I started planning his downfall.

Now, today was the day, the day that I would for fill my dream of killing all of them. I will be back later to tell you the result. And I will finally tell the brutal death of those fucking maggots.

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl's bare chest.

"How?" you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to "put some of this on her" while she calls the doctor.

"Putting some of this on hear" meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of Manhattan the entire time. She's sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She's about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She's in jammies I think because although I'm pretty shaken up right now I know I unbuttoned something before I went at it.

God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her FUCKING TITS, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.

I didn't do anything else because I'm a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn't technically do anything wrong, so I'm in the clear.

I'd write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.

I remember it was the summer '06. Some friends and I had been on the road for a couple of weeks. Just travelling around, little bit of a road trip. Stopping off where we felt. Going to lots of pubs, clubs, parties, etc. Anyway one night we set out from our motel room to go to a nearby bar. We get there and it's fairly quiet. We had a few drinks but decided it was kinda boring and we were going to find some place else to drink for the night. Then just as we're leaving, she caught my eye. Across the room was the most beautiful truck I've ever seen. 87 model, was wearing a 200 gallon mixer tank, you know the kind. She had tyres that went on for days. A part of me was ready to leave already. But a part of me knew that if I didn't at least talk to her I'd regret it. I downed the last of my drink to get a little Dutch courage, then I made my move. I walked up to her and said, "Hi." Girls like this usually don't give me the time of day. But something was different this time. I don't know what it it was, if she was in a different mood cos she was on holidays, too, or if I was just in the zone that night or what. But much to my surprise she was totally into me. Every smile was met with a flash of her headlights, every joke was met with a honk of her horn. She was into me, it was time to close it. "Would you like to join me at my room?" I really had gone too far ths time. But instead I hear, "Sure, let's go." I couldn't believe it. It was on. The sexiest truck I've ever seen and she wants to have sex with me! Unbelievable! We get back to my room, make out for a while then made passionate love. The next day she headed off back home to work in a strip mine. She gave me her email address and we still keep in contact from time to time. But that was the best night of my life and I'll never forget her.

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!”. By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Ma'am, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.” And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. I'm not really HIV Positive, but that little shit must've gotten in a fuckheap of trouble.

FUCK YOU NINTENDO. I PICK FUCKING "MATCH MY RANK" AND YOU PUT ME UP AGAINST A FOUR STAR GOD DAMN IT FUCK YOU! I'M A FUCKING TWO STAR. FOURSTAR DOES NOT MATCH A FUCKING TWO STAR! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU GOD DAMN CHINKS?! YOU MADE THE FUCKING WII, NOW MAKE YOUR ONLINE SYSTEM OPTIONS FUCKING WORK. I'M TIRED OF SETTING IT TO MATCH MY RANK ONLY TO FIND IT NOT MATCH MY RANK THEN GO DOWN A RANK BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKED UP SYSTEM. GOD DAMN IT. FUCK YOU NINTENDO. I'LL NEVER BUY ANOTHER GAME FROM YOU AGAIN. AND I'M GOING TO BOMB JAPAN TOMORROW. HOW ABOUT THAT, NINTENDO?

Cred Forums, I laugh at all you faggots who are imprisoned in a relationship. They are worthless. The only men who need their better half were half a man to begin with.

Look what I get to do. I wake up, and go surfing in the morning before work. Then I change in my car and head off to my job where I make 110,000 a year. I work for 6 hours, then come home. I can listen to music, and even go on Cred Forums if I'm ahead schedule.

Then I get off work, and get to come home and relax in front of my 21" LCD monitor, which has a custom build, Quad-Core Processor, and have 2 8800 ULTRA video cards. 8 gigs or ram. 1 TB HD for games and other progs, and an external 1 TB HD for porn, and movies. I've also got a $500 chair, that is comfortable as fuck, and a 9.1 surround system, in my room and my living room. I can run Crysis on Very High and get 50 FPS. Every other game runs flawlessly. I also have a t1 internet connection for downloading anything I want within minutes. I never lag in a game.

I've got a Fleshlight, and have a 10 grand real doll I'm considering buying. Yes, I've had a gf before, and this feels pretty damn close. 9/10 to a real pussy. I recommend the wonder wave to other anons. I've got a 72 Camero I rebuilt, and put about 50 grand into. It's fucking bad ass. I've also got a nice 2 story home. Have been making 90k-110k the last 5 years.

I have absolutely no stress in my life. No worthless cunt nagging, no worthless cunt expecting me to buy her shit, entertain her, etc...It's amazingly relaxing. If I had a gf, or a wife I would not have half the cool shit I do right now. All the time I spend on hobbies and other things would be sucked up. Women are fucking worthless money grubbing, attention whoring...WHORES

/spit

I encourage you anons to do the same. Become successful, and live a wonderful single life. Don't take those bitches shit. They only cause stress. Relax and enjoy your life Cred Forumsrothers.

Damn you, Cred Forums. I fucking hate you. I've been noticing how you've been fucking with my head, making me see memes everywhere, and now it cost me my job.

I used to work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino's, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I'm even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual "enjoy your meal" bit that I usually say, Cred Forums seized control of my brain.

"There you are, guys. Enjoy your AIDS." As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn't realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a moment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant.

The two dudes go APESHIT. My manager comes over, and there's screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.

I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to Bel-Air!"

I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

So I met this girl who worked at Starbucks, and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date after a couple of conversations at the register. She was a month older than me but I didn't really care, she was fun to be around. So we took a walk along the beach, and we kissed in the pale moonlight, a full moon, it was really romantic. We started really getting into it, and she slowly unzipped my jeans, she reaches inside and starts kissing her way down my chest, she finally gets all the way down, looks up at me with the most seductive eyes I've ever seen and says "No thanks, I had Reese's for breakfast" and I'm like "No way, you had candy for breakfast?" She replies, "Not candy! Reese's puffs cereal!" So she sliiiiides me a bowl. I crunch into it and WHAM! My mouth goes crazy! That smooth combo of peanut butter and chocolate-y taste attacking my taste buds! She zips my pants back up and says "And it's part of this complete breakfast!"

This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all get the warp whistle and warp to "big world"! Too bad big world isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get Kuribo's shoe on one fucking level! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Kuribo's shoe fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you JUMP ON THINGS, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting power-ups in the game, such as Tanookie Mario, Hammer Mario, and Frog Mario. But guess what? You can get them on like 2 levels total, and if you fuck up and get hit ONCE, you lose them, FOREVER. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Mario 3 may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

Legend has it that if you travel east to Japan, you will find an old man living on the coast just 40 miles south of Tokyo. If you give this man $500,000 he will take you to an island just off the coast that can't be found on any map. This island is filled with people without faces or names, who hold grudges over the most trivial of matters. When you arrive at this island the first thing you will see is a swimming pool that is never open. Just beyond the pool you will find a town that is filled with cats. You must find a white cat wearing a pink bow. If you ask the cat how to get to Mexico, he will stand up and ask you for three things: Your name, your face, and your soul. If you agree to give them to him, your face will vanish and you will forget your own name. You can live on the island and have whatever you desire, but you can never leave the island. The only way to escape is to find the cat again and ask for a young child. The next day a van will pull up in front your house. You will hear a knock at the door, and a voice will ask if you want to come to a party. No one knows what happens if you answer the door.

cuck

When I was younger, my best friend went out with the love of my life. I was 11. And that experience ruined me emotionally. Even though I didn't give any hints to either of them about my real feelings, and that those feelings only really surfaced after they started going out, I still felt profoundly betrayed.

Because of my "best friend" fucking me over I don't feel comfortable opening myself up and extending my emotions.

In the past couple of years I have attempted relationships. I really have. But it hurts so bad when I see the same thing happen all over again...my newer best friend gets buddy buddy with the girl I love and I am blocked out of her life. She gets other boyfriends and I try to show her how much I love her. I really fucking tried. That guy was no good...I was trying to help when I brought that knife. He deserved a good stabbing. Not that he got one...I just wanted to look manly in front of her.

I pretty much gave up on her - let's call her "J" - a few months ago, and have since moved onto her friend. I think she's different...she actually sees past my semi-autistic features to my personality. I even went to the school ball with her. She kinda ignored me the whole night and flinched every time I tried to dance with her or speak to her, but it still shows progress right? Let's call *her* "K".

Some inferior woman-thing tried seducing me. She tried to distract me from my real love. We dated for a couple weeks, kinda, but only because I was so messed up at the time and didn't know what I really wanted. I broke up with her though because I can't really handle anything right now. My life is pretty intense at the moment. Maybe things will get better when I move to the city.

I'M KOREAN

SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN

AMERICAN IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?

DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?

AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING

GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER

FUCKING U.S.A

I'M ALBANIAN

SON OF A BITCH SERB

SERB IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A CEVAPCICI?

DO YOU WANT A PODVARAK?

SERB IS PIG DISGUSTING

SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC IS A MURDERER

FUCKING SERBIA

'M SERBIAN

SON OF A BITCH ALBANIAN

ALBANIAN IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A SHOPSKA?

DO YOU WANT A SKENDERBEG?

ALBANIAN IS PIG DISGUSTING

FATMIR SEJDIU IS A MURDERER

FUCKING KOSOVA

I'M GERMAN

SON OF A BITCH POLE

POLE IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A PIEROGI?

DO YOU WANT A KIELBASA?

POLE IS PIG DISGUSTING

LECH KACZYŃSKI IS A MURDERER

FUCKING POLAND

I'M POLISH

SON OF A BITCH GERMAN

GERMAN IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A SAUERKRAUT?

DO YOU WANT A PUMPERNICKEL?

GERMAN IS PIG DISGUSTING

HORST KÖHLER IS A MURDERER

FUCKING GERMANY

I'M NORTHERN

SON OF A BITCH SECESSIONIST

SOUTHERN IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A VIRGINIA HAM?

DO YOU WANT A CORN GRITS?

SOUTHERN IS PIG DISGUSTING

JEFFERSON FINIS DAVIS IS A MURDERER

FUCKING C.S.A

I'M SOUTHERN

SON OF A BITCH FEDERALIST

YANKEE IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A FREE NIGGER?

DO YOU WANT A UNIFIED REPUBLIC?

YANKEE IS PIG DISGUSTING

ABRAHAM LINCOLN IS A MURDERER

FUCKING U.S.A

I'M NINJA

SON OF A BITCH PIRATE

PIRATE IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A TREASURE?

DO YOU WANT A RUM?

PIRATE IS PIG DISGUSTING

ED TEACH IS A MURDERER

FUCKING PIRATES

I'M TERRAN

SON OF BITCH ALIENS

DO YOU WANT ZERG RUSH?

DO YOU WANT KEKEKEKEKE?

ZERG IS PIG DISGUSTING

THE OVERMIND IS A MURDERER

FUCKING STARCRAFT FAGS

I'M DOWN SYNDROME

SON OF A BITCH SMART PEOPLE

SMART PEOPLE IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A HIGH IQ?

DO YOU WANT A SOCIAL SKILLS?

SMART PEOPLE IS PIG DISGUSTING

EINSTEIN IS A MURDERER

FUCKING MENSA

'M C++

SON OF A BITCH JAVA

JAVA IS PIG

DO YOU WANT OBJECT ORIENTED?

DO YOU WANT SHORT CIRCUIT?

JAVA IS PIG DISGUSTING

SUN MICROSYSTEMS IS A MURDERER

FUCKING JAVA

I'M PAINT SHOP

SON OF A BITCH PHOTOSHOP

PHOTOSHOP IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A LENS FLARE?

DO YOU WANT A SELECTIVE COLOR?

PHOTOSHOP IS PIG DISGUSTING

THOMAS KNOLL IS A MURDERER

FUCKING CS3

I'M NAZI

I'M NAZI

SON OF A BITCH BOLSHEVIK

BOLSHEVIK IS PIG

DO YOU WANT SCORCHED EARTH POLICY?

DO YOU WANT SOME BLITZKRIEG?

BOLSHEVIK IS PIG DISGUSTING

LENIN IS A MURDERER

FUCKING BOLSHEVIK

anymore? it looks like my ex

I'M BOLSHEVIK

SON OF A BITCH TSAR

TSAR IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A DISSOLUTION OF THE DUMA?

DO YOU WANT A WAR WITH JAPAN?

TSAR IS PIG DISGUSTING

NICHOLAS II IS A MURDERER

FUCKING TSAR

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE WHITE PEOPLE SO ANGRY AT BLACKS?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

1) We got awesome resistance against the sun. Enjoy being burned.
2) We are more fit, we can outrun any white male anytime. even CHUCK NORIS?!?
3) We got bigger dicks.
4) Girls dig us better.
5) We have very wide social circles. White people have forgot how to live in society.
6) We got rhythm. We can dance, rap, sing, make music, you name it!
7) A black chick wouldn't date a white boy. On the other hand, white girls would drop their white boyfriend anytime for a black guy if given the chance.
8) We're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 200 years ago, but nowadays being white sucks whereas being black is cool as hell.
9) We got a sense of what family is about.
10) We get MANY children so that our genes will last long on this motherfucking earth, not like your average pathetic two children.
11) If you don't die a virgin, and happen to get a daughter...chances are she'll be sucking and swallowing black dicks :)

I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now.

Enjoy being white, sucker :)

you guys know cuckold meme is a kike psyop, right?

whyte ppl i hate u cuz

1. u all racist
2. u pale as hell
3. u fuckin stupid
4. u stereotype niggas cuz u all dumb
5. ur fat
6. u look like marshmallows
7. u look like gluesticks
8. u close minded
9. u jus straight up bitch
10. u make me sick
11. u all like fishin for sum reason
12. u all have dogs
13. u think u a good race when u ain't even human
14.u look ugly as hell
15.u a disgrace
16. u think u know bout niggas so much when u don't
17. u all got faggot ass voices
18. u speak like British ppl
19. u all gay
20. u have no place in hiphop so u shud stop listenin to it

Hey Cred Forums , I was drinking my coffee just now when when my friend and his brother who made said coffee bursts into the room laughing. They threw a bottle on my lap and ran away. This JUST happened

What is syrup of ipicuc?

Should I go to the hospital?

I can't believe you fucking morons waste your life here. Listen, this is your LIFE. You need to be living with real human beings. You need to go find a girlfriend and spend time with her. You need to find happiness. Happiness is not in your online games or crappy manga books, it is in other people.

Do you really want to be 40 years old and look back to your 18-25 years and realize you pissed them away in fits of loneliness playing RPGs and crying yourself to sleep? I know most, if not all of you, had no real childhood or high school experiences because you were too busy being antisocial losers. Change that, now. How much greater would your life be now had you worked up the courage to talk to that one girl and go to the prom with her? Wouldn't high school have been amazing if you actually went out with friends on the weekend and saw movies? This is why you people love anime so much, because it portrays these perfect people going through high school living the lives YOU wish you could have lived back then.

Stop wasting your time on the Internet. Look outside and see the trees and the sun. Please. There is a world out there. There are interesting people all over. Why do you want to throw away what is left of your life playing fictional RPGs when real life is one big RPG with real consequences and relationships?

Are you just afraid? I mean, look at me, I own this boat.

Something horrible happened to me today.

This girl that I liked walked up to me during lunch break, along with her friends following her. I was very nervous already -like I always am with girls- and could tell from the heat on my face I was heavily blushing, which made me even more nervous. To add to that, her friends were laughing behind her shoulders, so I smelled something fishy right away.

The worst thing that has ever happened to me then occurred. Never in my life have I felt so miserable. She looked at me with a grin on her face, and told me that first off she never liked me, and was just playing with me for a laugh. Then, she added that I was ugly and that no one would ever want to be with someone like me. Behind her, her friends were laughing and capturing the whole scene with their camera phones (so yeah, it was probably planned from the start, all to have a big laugh at me)

I didn't even know how to react, so many people were around and looking at me that I just felt I was going to fall unconscious. I walked out of there mechanically -I was barely able to think- as quickly as I could with tears I was hardly keeping and went to the bathroom to CRY. I hadn't cried for years and there I was, in the fucking canteen's bathroom crying.

I'm a fucking loser and I hate myself SO FUCKING BAD. I hate girls and I hate humans. They rob you of every single piece of self-esteem you have for their own self-enjoyment. How the fuck am I supposed to go on with life when people are so horrible?

FUCK

"Soup b" is I think the greeting here, excuse me I just have not understood much of the phrases used here. My son has been excluded from his school after being accused of sending mass e-mails to most of his schoolmates and faculty containing inappropriate and offensive pictures. He has since claimed that he found the pictures on a website named Cred Forums's Random Picturing Board. He hasn't admitted to me what he is doing on this website, only stating that he enjoys "the lull's". This website is on my son's AOL history and after visiting it myself I am extremely concerned. I think I understand what it's all about and I see that you're all friends posting pictures and discussing them in humorous ways, your typical teenage tomfoolery and I don't deny that I once took part in some of the more lewd conversations I've seen on this Random Cred Forums web-site. However, more concerning was the repetition of gay themes, and a cult-like worshiping of a certain Bill Kualitz. Also the frequent mention of a pool being closed due to AIDS, as I have heard my son say once before I knew he was what he calls a "betard", is this some sort of code word? So I think I'm right in saying most of this Random Board users are members of the Gay, Trans. and Bi community? Does the lull's refer to anal sex?

My son will not admit anything to me, so I'm going to find out here for myself from the rest of you. Should I be concerned about my son's sexuality and especially his health?

Thank you very much for any information you can provide, and any advise as to how to help my son. I have nothing but respect for the GLTB community.

People make me laugh. This guy was bullied, being laughed at, pointed at, etc. People didn't give one fuck then. They didn't care that they made him suffer, that his self-esteem took a hit every time they mocked him. "Who cares? He's here for our entertainment! He's the Finnish guy to make fun of!"

But now that he gets back at them, "he's the bad guy!" People cry over their lost ones, but WOULD HAVE THEY CRIED if he committed suicide because of what society did to him? PEOPLE KNOW that when they bully someone it has a powerful, dangerous effect on the bullied. Yet, they don't care. Their entertainment comes first, of course.

Well guess what, the roles are now switched. Now it's their turn to fucking suffer. FUCK THE MEDIA, he IS the true victim. Stop making him look like a monster! This guy earned the right to such actions. I stand by his side 100% and pray his soul rest in peace

Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriends house tonight for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC SLatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tomorrow. I am so embarrassed and I hope my gf doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

Due to extensive research done by the University of Pittsburgh, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows. Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused two wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with two buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles per iron, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.

I am writing you anonymously because I do not want my child to get in any trouble, but I need to alert you to something your students are doing that is potentially very dangerous. Yesterday afternoon I came home early to find my son and his friends getting high on something called "jenkem" which they say they heard about at school. This "jenkem" is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. They urinate and defecate in plastic bottles and leave them to ferment in the sun, then inhale the resulting gas. I know it sounds unreal but when I came home I found my son and his friends laying on the grass in the backyard and they were acting very strangely. There was a horrible, putrid smell in the air. I can't believe my son would do something like this. I looked it up on the internet and apparently this was something invented by African children that wound up online and now kids all over the world are doing it. My son says most of his friends at school have tried it.

This seems to be a new thing and I can't find any information about the health effects of jenkem - I think it is the methane and ammonia content that provides the desired high, but I don't really know. Both of those are very harmful chemicals. All sorts of diseases are spread through fecal matter. I imagine it could lead to some very serious health problems at you school. My wife and I are utterly shocked and talking about private school. We have talked to our son about this and he says he won't do it anymore, but because it is on the internet kids all over the country are trying jenkem and they need to be educated about the health risks. It is only a matter of time before somebody dies from methane poisoning or this leads to a hepatitic outbreak. I don't know exactly what you could do about this as jenkem is legal but I needed to inform you of what some of your students are doing.

The evening of October 23rd, 2002, local police uncovered what looked like an underground animal sex club; the cops infiltrated the area and arrested all involved members who were part of NAMPLA, the North American Man Pet Love Association. When questioned about the incident by the press, the leader of NAMPLA commented, "That bitches don't know about my sex club." And when questioned about the number of animals that have partaken in the club, leader Jeff Ox said, "The numbers aren't fully calculated, but we suspect that the figure to be around over 9,000." When the press inquired about his childhood past Jeff only mentioned about last Thursday. He explained, "It all stated in West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chilling out maxing relaxing all cool, and shooting some B-ball outside of my school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood, I got one little fight and mom got scared she said, 'You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Aire' I whistled for a cab and when it drew near, license plate said FRESH and there was dice in the mirror. I anything I could tell this cab was rare, but said forget yo homes to Bel Aire. Pulled up to their house around 7 or 8, and I yelled to the cab yo homes smell you later. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Aire."

When the press questioned him about his favorite childhood activity, he simply replied "fapping to cp and furries on Caturday." And also "long cat is long". Many have speculated that if having sex with animals is for the lulz then it's just aawwwriitte, amirite. The judge gave every involved member a ten year sentence, and many cried out in horror "This is madness", while members of the press rejoiced and yelled "No, this is SPARTAAAAA!!!" After receiving his ten year jail sentence, he told his comrades of the NAMPLA club "Tonight we dine in hell!!"

Hey Cred Forums what's up?

I'm a senior in high school and my sister is in 8th grade. Ever since she started junior high she has started to spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom perfecting her appearance. This really pisses me off.. first of all because at some point in the fucking morning I'd like to take the 10 damn minutes it takes me to get ready without having to bang on the bathroom door for 20 minutes.. and second because someone that young really should not be so fucking concerned about their appearance.. hell anyone at any age shouldn't imo.

Anyway, the other morning I finally got the bathroom and I decided to go for the early morning shower fap session. You guys know what a struggle this can be right?? Well there I was thinking about some hot Asian girl in my language arts class, about to climax, when the little bitch knocks on the door and says "is it safe to come in? I need to do something."

Granted she has done this countless times before and it hasn't really bothered me, but this time I had spent a good 10 minutes working up dick and I wasn't going to let her escape this great injustice. So I tell her it's safe, she opens the door and then I whirl the shower curtain open with my red hot steaming dick shining in its full glory.

She screams and runs to tell my uptight christian parents who now think I need counseling.

That afternoon when I got home from school she was locked in her room. I knocked on the door and told her I wanted to apologize. She opened it and I walked in, gave her a big hug and said I'm sorry for doing what I did this morning. She accepted and then said "Brother, that was the first PENIS I have ever seen in real life"

At this moment I felt a surge of power and gratification that has yet to be equaled.

Alright all you underage newfags, listen up.

Day after day I keep seeing you mongoloid virgins in here asking questions like 'What does a pussy feel like?' or 'What does a pussy taste like' and I am fucking well sick of your shit.

A VAGINA is like a new running shoe, OK? At first, it looks good, smells ok and fits rather snugly. As time goes by, it stops being all of those things though, especially after being used repeatedly. It starts to look beat up, smells worse and worse, and things get kinda sloppy. A VAGINA is basically a tepid reservoir of bacterial filth, with new bacteria and viruses being added every time a new strange cock goes in (which is usually fairly often, because all women are whores. Even Mom.). It tastes like it smells too, sour with a peculiar strongness. They all smell and taste like that. All of them. Wanna know why? It is also a drain for bodily refuse like dead cells, dead bacteria, and dead spermatozoa. It smells the way it does, because it is full of decaying things all closed up in a moist, heated pocket.

So go ahead, stick your face in it and lick up that stinking, rotting slime.

This PSA brought to you by a concerned Cred Forumsrotha.

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

Hi, I'm Gregg and I work at Gamestop. I have a simple message for the members of this forum.

DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER FUCKING CALL UP MY PLACE OF WORK AGAIN. I KNOW YOU PATHETIC FUCKS DON'T HAVE JOBS OF YOUR OWN AND YOUR PARENTS PAY FOR YOUR SKYPE AND YOUR INTERNET ACCESS AND YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW HARD IT IS TO ACTUALLY WORK A FULL TIME JOB.

WHAT YOU FUCKHEADS DON'T REALIZE IS BY YOU CALLING AND ASKING FOR BATTLEFROGS OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER YOU FUCKERS SAY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IT TAKES UP PRECIOUS TIME WHICH WE NEED TO HELP ACTUAL CUSTOMERS.

YOU ARE MAKING US LOSE MONEY. AND BY 'US' I MEAN THE EMPLOYEES. EVERY PRANK CALL THE STORE WE WORK AT RECEIVES, WE LOSE HOWEVER AMOUNT OF TIME WE SPEND ON THE PHONE TALKING TO YOU COMES RIGHT OUT OF OUR MEASLY PAYCHECKS.

SO FUCK OFF IT ISN'T FUNNY AND OUR STORE AT LEAST HAS ALREADY CONTACTED THE AUTHORITIES AND YES THERE IS ACTION WE CAN PURSUE AGAINST THIS MESSAGEBOARD.

Have a fucking great day. And don't call my place of work anymore.

Hello Cred Forums. My name is David. I work at Gamestop. And I have a simple message for you all: STOP CALLING US FOR THE FUCKING SAKE OF IT. DON'T ASK ABOUT BATTLETOADS ANY MORE. EVERY PRANK CALL WE GET AND THE MINUTES WE SPEND TALKING WITH US COST US MONEY FROM OUR GODDAMN PAYCHECKS. YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A FULL-TIME JOB, DON'T YOU? SO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY PHONE. Thank you. And have a fucking nice day.

Alright Cred Forums, I work in an office, and sometimes I'm attracted to this girl who works at the end of my line of cubicles. Her name is Katie, and I'm not really sure if I should be showing you her picture, because she's not THAT attractive, but you know at work your standards are lowered. She's nice and all that, nice personality so don't be mean, if you knew her you'd understand.

So anyway, earlier this morning I was at work and I kept leaning back so I could look down at her. I didn't really have all that much work to do, only useless shit, the kind that takes 5 minutes but you put it off so it takes an hour. Well at the end of the line, there is a space, and then a ditto machine, with a light on it and it blinks sometimes when it's out of paper. I noticed the light was blinking red so I decided this was my opportunity to walk by her and change the paper all casually, maybe even chat her up for a second.

Alright, here's where things got crazy. When I got down near her cubicle I said hello and she smiled at me, giving me these 'fuck me' eyes and I almost lost it!

I stepped up to the machine before I replied so I wouldn't look too desperate. Then I looked down at the red blinking light and I felt a crazy breeze sensation rush over my body...