Have you ever been caught masturbating or having sex?

> Be me living in a dorm in college
> Met roommate just this semester when we moved in
> He's an alright dude but we don't really share many common interests, so we don't talk a whole lot.
> He gets a girlfriend
> After a couple of months, he starts staying at her apartment all but a couple nights a week.
> One night it's like 1:30 in the morning. If he's coming back he's always back by now. He has class early.
> Open some porn on my laptop
> Start working my shaft
> Get a few minutes into it, things are getting good.
> Door open.
> I sling covers over myself in a very obvious manner. Don't look at roommate. Don't say anything. Just turn off porn and turn on music and go to sleep laying there with headphones in.
> This happened like 4 more times over the last couple months of the semester.
> Never saw him again after that semester.

Be me, 1994, renting upstairs spare bedroom at rich friend's house. Nudie mags spread across top of bed, jizz towel ready to go... Housekeeper opens door, sees my whole scene... Oh, SORRY!!! She leaves. Boner gone. Try another day.

>banging an Ex in highschool in her living room while her parents were out
>getting real close
>feelsgoodman.png
>just as im about to cum we hear door open
>door is literally just over this counter thing
>her mom walks in and we both dive under a blanket
>from trapped her in her pussy of sudden pull out
>she queefs loud as fuck
>mom just looks at both of us under the blanket sweaty after hearing the queef
>never was able to look that women in the eye again.

>implying you are a womyn
fuck off

tits?

*trapped air

i'm not good at green text but my story is lit

>be me 15/16
>parents packing to go camping for a week
>illhavetheplacetomyself.png
>"bye user, call your sister or us if you need anything"
>"bye mom and dad, i love you"
>see them pull away
>immediately run down to the basement to commence week long fap session
>#pantsoffballsout
>less than 5 minutes go bye
>hear front door open
>hear basement door open
>"user are you down there"
>sitting pants-less at computer desk, pants on other side of the room because fukk pants
>can't think, grab desk and pull myself as close as possible
>"oh there you are, sorry i forgot my books"
>"oh okay cool"
>*sees my bare leg under the desk*
>"...where are your pants"
>stare longingly across the room like Luke seeing his light saber across the cave
>"user. put your pants on. and come upstairs."

they made me pack and go camping with them. worst vacation ever

>no
But have you ever been caught sniffing your mums knickers?

have some decency, lock the door you vile creature

Nice one, dude.

haha

that's cute, you refer to your little dick as a bean

i have never been caught. though, our flat is rather small, i'm still living with my parents. gf and i have pretty loud sex quite often. I'm pretty sure my parents could hear us many times.

kek

Door was locked, but we had keys.

>they made me pack and go camping with them. worst vacation ever

But.. why? do you live in a very christian family?

This is Gold

eh not really but she is just weird. i know for a fact she had to be a ho, at least a little bit. she got married and had her first kid at 19, has 5 kids, my dad is her 2nd husband. so i know she been fukkin. but she just randomly became ultra conservative.

does this gif exist in a bigger size?

Unintentionally - probably a couple of times when I was a kid beating off.

Intentionally - loads. An ex-gf was into public, humiliation and all sorts. Her favourite was getting us "caught" by her parents at Christmas/family gatherings or whatever. She would cum the hardest if her mum caught us...

She was a lot of fun, but definitely NOT a keeper.

>Fapped in the back of the van on family vaction, never caught.
>Fapped at church sitting under a picture of Jesus, never caught.

The closest I've ever come to getting caught fapping was sunday morning before church I was fapping in the bathroom with the shower running and my dad tried to walk in but I was on the floor by the door and so I slammed it shut with my back. To this day I still don't know if he caught a glimpse of what I was doing.

>they made me pack and go camping with them. worst vacation ever

Wut

Pics of ur sister

>be me

Noice one. Most faggots have no clue how to write a green text.

Why does all your memories of masterbation involve jesus in some way

Fuck your parents.

>be me
>be fapping day and night
>stupid mom keeps not knocking on the door and just barging in
>hadn't gotten caught yet, but I had some close calls
>hatch a plan
>decide to sit naked in my room all day so she'll be embarrassed next time it happens
>all day I'm sitting naked in my chair
>it happened
>she ALWAYS knocks now

Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war.

Barely hit puberty, couldn't leave dick alone, constantly tugging... one night while watching Three's Company on my small TV, laying on bed sideways and jerking for contest distance, Chrissy bends over, tight shorts up ass, and I explode! Thick, voluminous load of jizz on carpet next to my bed. Brother walks in, "hey user, what are you watching?" Sits next to bed, and promptly puts hand right in jizz puddle. Awkward silence...

I remember when somebody pantsed this kid at school and his underwear had a cum stain on it

technically only 2/3rds of those involve jesus

I literally fapped to jesus in church one time, so yeah
if there's a hell ( which there isnt) I'm going there

found the 40 y.o. newfag

kekkles
good story user

Oh no

This makes me a faggot

fuck yeah dude, Three's Company was great fap material when I was a kid too

realistically he's probably between 32 and 38

cheesespin.net/
sheeeit
try it

This makes me very sad

is it 2010 again?

never caught, because:
1) I don't fap (because of religious reasons)
2) I'm virgin (never seeked any occasion for sex)

>Be 14yo me
>have younger sister, 11 at the time
>We have to share a bedroom
>Poor live in shitty flat
>I usally watch porn when everyone is out
>but today my sister was home in our room I'm in the living room on my laptop looking at porn
>I start jerking thinking I'm okay
>Sister walks in right before I nut
>Wide eyes staring directly at me
>"WTF user!" Goes back our room

I finish, clean up. not the end of that though

>doesn't fap

Are you waiting for marriage?

>be me
>be , in highschool
>GF and I are parked in some cliche foothills overlooking the city
>start making out & grouping
>bonermodeactivate.exe
>move to back seat
>GFs closths are scattered all over car
>compleatly naked
>tits in face, two fingers in pussy
>super wet
>She jacking me off
>TAP TAP TAP
>see cops flashlight banging on the window
>panicmode.gif
>"You kids get dressed, and drive yourselves home safely. Do not let me see you up here again!"
>MFW
>lucky AF
>Laughed all the way home

>I have this incest fetish
>watching some milf porn with headphones on
>start jerking off
>iphone in my pocket
>start moaning "oh mom"
>phone calls mom through siri
>mom hears me jerking off and moaning her name
>we didn't talk about it

Not even fapping or anything but
>at computer
>watching some videos or some shit on theync or some site
>father walks in as video ends, it wasn't porn or anything
>starts to talk to me but stops and kinda walks out
>look at screen
>all the related videos to the video I watched had pictures of massive dicks on them
>tons of big dicks
>heart skips a beat and my face goes white
>walk into other room and try to explain what happened
>father kind of dismisses it, "Yeah alright."
>still paranoid father thinks I am a faggot

2 years later
>have a second monitor now
>monitor is above my computer screen, wall mounted
>on Cred Forums on top monitor
>father walks in and starts to talk to me about something again
>see him looking at top monitor and him walking out again
>look at top monitor and me without knowing, scrolled by one of those SWEDEN YES threads
>Cartoon pictures of sweden men getting fucked by blacks
>real pictures of blacks fucking tiny white guys

I am so stupid. I am a ninja when it comes to fucking at home and fapping but I always have my guard down for that shit

>Not the end of that though
Cont.

Fake

You're suppose to listen for the keys and wear pajamas or something that you can pull up quickly. I mastered the dorm stealth fap. You lock the door for that 3 second warning in which you pull up your pants and close the porn.

And I found the basement-dwelling, 50-year-old, little kid lover

I heard that a lot of girls who went to Catholic school, their first time masturbating was to Jesus because he's depicted as having a really beautiful face.

But now that I type it out loud it sounds retarded. But then again pic related happened so who knows.

Autist

This is actually kind of interesting. I never went to a Catholic school so I dont really know what it's like. Also im a boy

Waiting for the right guy?

>Cred Forums
>having sex

funny guy

>jerking off in class with my tiny 12 year old willy
>accidentally look teacher directly in the eyes as I vim
>she looks dissapointed and tells me to get back to work

Im still not sure if she knew what i was doing. I dont even know why I felt the need to jerk it in class.

>Be 15
>Vacation in mountains of Colorado
>Staying in old cabin in mountains
>Night two rolls around
>Go to bed
>Could never sleep until real late in that house cause creeps and shit
>Laying on side around 11 pm
>Roll over and open eyes at same time
>There's a fucking shadow by bed
>A fucking shadow ghost
>Scream loud as fuck, the ghost is gone
>Turn on phone and go to porn site
>Apparently fapping will scare the ghost away
>Quickly fap, roll over and fall asleep

The next morning

>Go into kitchen to get breakfast
>My dad brings up my girl scream
>His face goes serious when I say I saw a ghost thing
>Apparently he couldn't sleep because of feeling of being lost
>SimultaneousBrickShit.psd
>He went to go check on me some time after I yelled, just peeked through the door
>Nightlight was in room as well

I still don't know if my dad saw me jerking off. Kind of over the whole thing now though.

Just bored af right now. And after that original fuckup I decided to be nice and fix it.

Have fun disappointing your significant other the night after your wedding. Sex is very painful for women the first time they do it, especially if they're 25+ years old. I read an article about a woman who "waited for marriage" and got PTSD from having sex. Her husband later divorced her for "other reasons."

That's a fringe case and you know it.

>implying only men come on this site

Why do you have two monitors at your dads house you fag

>PTSD
Really?

That's exactly what they are implying

>be 17
>in the den downstairs with gf
>got a blanket over us cuz it's winter, yo
>gettin frisky, dive under that blanket and give her the ol' lickeroo
>not related to story, but holy hot damn was that pussy delicious
>she's above the blanket trying not to moan when my mom morphs out of the fucking shadows and sees this heaving pile of blanket and flesh
>180 degrees instantly and goes back upstairs
>I didn't see any of this, so gf pulls me up and explains
>I ask her why she didn't hear mom walking down the stairs (they were really creaky wooden stairs)
>gf slaps my chest and says "well, you made it pretty hard to concentrate!"
>she's red as the eye of a lagrek and I'm dying laughing because holy fuck, you should have seen this girl's face
>my mom is a total bro about it later, and just says that she hopes we're "being safe" and that "I'm growing up too fast"
>gf can't look her in the eye for a month

Good times, guys... good fuckin times.
I miss that grill sometimes.
She was cool... when she wasn't being uncool.
Which is why we ain't togetha no mo

Wow dude, fuckin kinky

Well yeah, obviously.

no girls on the internet bro

... what the fuck?

>the ol' lickeroo
Saved.

Boys Only Club!!!!! :) Like if you agree

my ex's mom lived with us. one day she walked in on us fucking doggy style, while her daughter faces the door she where comming in from. i keept fucking her even though her mom where watching. i dont give a single fuck lol

>implying actual women are on Cred Forums

...

>be me, 16
>Invite slutty friend to come over and watch TV on my computer
>Never did it cross my mind that this woman would want to have sex with me
>friend also happens to be ex GF, we ended it on good terms awhile back
>Watch a Korean Drama of some sort, pretty good.
>3 episodes in there's a sex scene
>She pauses the video and gives me the bedroom eyes
>Takes me a moment to catch on, but eventually we start fucking
>A few minutes in, hear knock at the door
>Ohshitpeopleofcolor.png
>Brother asks if everything is ok, is nice he heard me grunting
>Jump out of the slut, and hold my hand up against the door to keep him from opening it
>Slut is naked and exposed on my bed, because summer is hot
>I'm naked with my wang sticking out, full diamonds
>Make up a total BS story about how I was trying on some jeans that were too small for me
>The fucker buys it and goes back to the absent to play Vidya
>Aaaand breathe
>Fuck two or three more times that day and watch good shows. Fun times..

>lets be honest, Cred Forums is actually just a bunch of women pretending to be guys

>wife says we gonna get busy tonight
>She fell asleep 20 minutes later
>fukit start fapping in living room with my back to the bedroom door
>hear "wtf user"
>boner lost and fight starts
>explain how I need sex or head and can't go 3 days without either
>She starts feeling sorry for me and blows me right there
>haven't gone 4 days without sex or head for 3 years now
>getting caught was best thing that ever happened to me

Absolutely, good shit user

Are you a sex addict?

Yeah, I shit you not. I'll look for the article and post it if I can.
Anons, don't wait for marriage. Find a local slut or seduce your significant other.

You lucky fuck

>first time sex is painful for women
do you seriously still believe in that first time hymen break bullshit user? sex isnt supposed to hurt the first time unless youre doing it wrong. uncomfortable maybe, but not painful.

>be me
>railing gf in parking lot
>slammin her harder than a piano dropped from space
>huge land whale and his two kids walk next to the car
>cars still on
>nope.exe
>take the pile of both our clothes and hurl them at gf
>curls up into a ball to hide my manhood ur still totally naked
>gf under pile of clothes
>fattard looks through window
>sees scene above
>keeps buckling kids into backseat
>as he drives off one of his spawn literally stared at me the whole time.
>went back to doing it and finished
>never saw lard ass again

Hell yeah boys

"Grouping" ? Dumbass

>>Ohshitpeopleofcolor.png
Top kek m8.

>Be me high af,smoked some pretty good stuff
>went to washroom to jack off
>thought i had closed the door but it was left ajar
>sister walks in to loud moans,me stroking that cock like a wild monkey.
>mfw she still cringes over that.
Kek

nah, lets be really honest people on Cred Forums are anonymous so nobody has a gender

(also its only women with dicks and men with vaginas here... pretty much theres something wrong with all of us- I mean just think people came here to read about being caught doing sexuals, thats at least slightly fucked up, like none of us have anything better to do with our time)

Why would she get pissed about you jacking it? I jack it at least 3 times a day and my wife doesn't care. Though we only fuck 4-5x a week since we are both busy af now...

Oh dem trips

>Sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war.

The funniest greentext i've read on this site in a long time

Nope but I had to say something because we had sex 2 nights before. I think my exact words were "all guys need to release every couple days or it starts to hurt. I didn't think it would work to be honest but she said if that was the case she don't want me Jerking off to other girls and we will do something every couple days for now on. She gave me permission to fuck her while she is sleeping if I feel horny again.

Ok "sure"

Oh shit, you found a typo. Gold star to you good sir.

A+

>>be me
>>be 10ish?
>>tuck soft blanket down between couch cushions
>> lay on top with front of pjs down
>> fuck it to masturbate
>> dads gf comes in and asks if im hungry
>> stop fuckin but on edge
>> cum anyways while shes lookin right at me
>> have huge embarrassing orgasm into blanket
>> she has no idea

still turns me on when i think about it lol.

Ha what a dumb bitch

Because we have been together since freshman in high school 20 years ago and she said if I get off its gonna be her doing it. She is Spanish if that means anything

Because after he retires, I get the house and he is moving

>be 18
>having sex with my girlfriend on her bed
>her sister enters the room
>stares for what felt like an age
>slowly backs out closing the door
>actually heard her exhale on the other side of the door before she took off

She went really red but I could never tell if it was more shock value or excitement on her face. I regret not asking if she wanted to join in. In later years we fucked a couple times on the quiet after me and newly forming ham broke up.

...

HAHA GRAMMAR POLICE LOL CHECK YO TYPOS BITCH

>FF 3 years
>Christmas party
>New gf and I are playing Mario Kart Wii in the basment of my parent's house.
>Wii version because we're plebs
>After a few races, gf pauses on the kart selection screen
>"user, does this music sound sexy to you?"
>I look at her confused af
>She gives me what I can only describe as the sexiest wink I have ever seen
>Get blown, plus titfuck
>I begin to finger her and make out, while she plays with her tits
>Door opens, someone comes downstairs
>With lighting speed, we dress quickly and start a race
>It's my brother
>"Hey guys can I play?"
>We let him play with us
>Goes back upstairs 6 races later
>Me and GF finish what we started.

I'd bet 1000 dollars that statistically, most of this website is heavily populated by males. Therefore, we can safely assume that all posters are male unless otherwise stated.

That's really weird but also awesome. Congrats. You got some balls of steel for trying to pull a fast one on your wife like that. Also your wife is stupid. Thank God for lackluster sex ed classes.

>down by my girlfriends parents camp on the pond
>sitting on picnic table rubbing her off, decide to fuck her on her period
>start fucking her hard
>look down, a mess blood and chunks fucking everywhere
>hear a truck coming up the road (in hilly woods so we couldn't see it yet )
>her dad pulls up and gets out right as I put my bloody dick back in my pants
>keep my bloody hands in my pockets
>her dad just hangs out and talks to us for 20 minutes, admiring the view
>finally leaves
>can't even wash the dried blood off my hands with cold pond water, have to sneak inside her house to get to the bathroom before her family sees me

I dont think being Spanish means anything

she is fiercely jealous and she don't want me getting off to anyone else at all. Alot of Spanish chick's are like that

>Backwoods
>Gfs dad has a truck
>Fucking his daughter
You're lucky you didn't get shot user.

>be 14
>be summer; no school
>often stay up late
>cat constantly going in and out of bedroom
>don't shut bedroom door all the way
>cause fuck me opening/closing the door every time
>enough of a draft with AC on that it pulls the door slightly, anyways
>minimizes the gap between door and frame
>one night after playing vidya
>relaxing on the bed trying to find an omegle fap
>finally match up to a cute girl
>chatting like a half hour about misc b.s.
>find a girl that's willing
>walk to the kitchen to get bottle of water
>check situation of the house
>parents asleep; lil bro is gone to friends house; see light under door of lil sister's bedroom (10yo)
>she has a friend sleeping over; probably asleep by now; not an issue
>cat sleeping on cat tree in the hallway
>figure safe enough for a fap
>push door close, but not all the way
>AC is on; draft is going; door's good
>turn bedroom light off, get back on the bed
>chat a lil with omegle girl. slowly teasing each other.
>we agree to start
>turn light back on so she can see me better
>super slow fap; easily 15-20 minutes
>edging as long as i can because the girl was fucking cute
>suddenly cat in the hallway pushes the bedroom door open to walk inside
>so used to it happening i dont pay much attention to it
>but in peripheral visual, my sister's face and her friend's face appear briefly in the door gap then pull back
>not even mad
>AC draft pulls the door mostly closed
>wonder if they're going to sneak peak the rest of the show
>smile
>go back to super slow fap
>finally splatter cum all over my chest
>one of the best orgasms in a long while
>girl ends up giving me her msn
>i slide off the bed to clean up
>i her footsteps trying to quietly run down the hall
>hear sister's bedroom door close
>feel blood flowing back to penis

Im naive to stereotypes, i only know the really basic ones

>be me, 14 yo grill, almost 15
>found a little black bag in my parent's closet that contained my mom's sex toys
>think about them for like weeks
>house is empty, i cave and go in and grab the bag
>drop my pants and underwear, lay back in the bed and start using a vibrator
>feels FUCKING AMAZING
>start cumming hard
>open my eyes and there is my fucking dad standing in the doorway with a terrified look in his face
>freak out and cover myself with a sheet and start balling
>he sits down with me, hugs me and tells me it's ok
>starts giving me some sex talk, which is fine, but im still just sitting there bottomless under a cover with my mom's freshly used vibrator sitting right there
>put my clothes back on and try to not be awkward around my dad
>couple days later there is a box sitting on my bed
>a new vibrator inside
>later mom tells me to not be afraid if i have any questions about my present
>god damn it, he told mom

I was mortified at the time, but looking back, my parents were really chill and supportive and handled it well. I also wasn't mortified enough to not wear down the batteries of my vibe constantly...

well if you want a chick that loves sex but will cut your balls off if you cheat,date a Spanish chick

>visiting grandmother
>bring qt gf with
>louisiana
>too hot to go outside
>me n gf chillin in our room
>grandma leaves
>me and her start fucking
>fucking great
>fucking her on the dresser
>knock on our door
>grandma asks if im ok
>shout yes while i slide my dick out of my gf 's pussy cum all over her ass
>longest queef i ever heard as i slide my cock out
>got rock hard again and threw that bitch back on the bed
>shit was so cash
something about doing it there made it so much better i came buckets

Why was your sister changing your sheets at 14? Are you handicapped? Or else just a tendie-munching autist?

eh ill give it a whirl

>be me 2 years ago 16 yr old fatfag
>gf 8/10 nympho type of girl
>see her once a week, usually saturday
>usually fuck 5 times a day
>my friend and his gf are in my room, so we take it to my little sisters room since she was at camp
>shes riding me unprotected on her bed
>step dad (sisters dad) heres rumbling in her room
>door flies open
>she jumps off me, stepdad sees her tits
>tells my mom
>not allowed in my room with her for 2 weeks

her reaction was that i was just going to sit in the basement and jerk off for a week.

i mean obviously i would have done other things, but her split second assessment of a teenage child was not far off

That's the opposite of my type

>mom leaves house to do some shit near
>straight to /gif to find some to fap
>found some good webm of Riley
>starts fuck my hand in bed like a beast
>mom forgot something at home and came back
>caught me fucking my hand with the audio very loud
>i jumped and hide under the sheet
>she laught and leave
>fellsbadman

Hail Satan.

That's still kinda weird

>used to work nights cleaning in hospital
>occasionally peek behind curtains
>one night get lucky
>some hot teen slut in an induced coma
>jerk it on to her face
>cream all over it
>turn around
>nurse standing there
>she's about to say something
>announcement system says "nurse required in inflator room"
>giant hand picks her up and drops her in another part of the hospital
>i go back to cleaning up vomit

Checked. Anyway, that's weird. Good but weird.

The sex is so fucking good though. And they cook good

>giant hand picks her up and drops her in another part of the hospital

>Be 18, just graduated high school
>Have mom, insomnia, wanders through the night
>Jerking it in my room at 2am, lights off, laying on top of bed, headphones in
>Can't hear, suddenly get urge to look left
>Mom staring at me, checking on me
>She closes door and goes away
>Finish, never brought up again

Still not my type of person

Hows your boyfriend treating you? You like the condoms hanging out of your ass all the time?

You are the hero this site needs

Welcome to Cred Forums
Your fedora goes on the hat rack and your rack gets photographed.

in case this goes on reddit, INCLUDE ME IN SCREENCAP!

>Though we only fuck 4-5x a week since we are both busy af now
Nice humblebrag, faggot.

>be me 18 with last girlfriend
>Go to guest bed room to "watch a movie"
>Movie starts, volume up to drown out the noise from sex
>Her mom opens the door
>I throw the blankets over us as quick as I could.
>Her mom says something incoherent through her thick Asian accent and leaves
>Girlfriend and I continue fucking.

Kys faggot

...

Me too haha, talk about an epic win

Why did you have to reply to mine you autist.

>be 12
>be maximum horny
>everyone out
>mom buys dumb fuck ugly baby dolls because she can't have any more kids and is going menopausal and schizo
>find the cutest one of the ugly fucks
>pic related, similar looks
>sit on moms bed rubbing my dick all over its face
>bend it over and lift up its little dolly dress
>rub my dick all over its little dolly cunt
>door opens
>mom walks in
>tripping over her bed with my pants down, a hard-on and her doll with its skirt up and face all precummy
>"i feel sick so i was lying down and took off my clothes mom"

her exact words were

"you disgust me"

>poop

...

>Be me, same summer
>Begin incest plan
>Try to seduce mom
>Lil bro in school (seniors graduate early)
>Dad at work
>Mom doesn't work, stays home
>Develop bad sleep schedule, mom wakes me up so I don't "waste the day"
>Began setting alarm a few minutes before she'd come in, and jerk off, make sure I was rock hard
>When hear footsteps, position boner straight up, pitching a tent in the bedsheets, pretend to sleep
>Slightly open eyes to watch, look closed
>Mom creep in, come look at boner, wake me up with a kiss or some shit
>Continued for days
>Eventually she started coming in wearing just bra, no shirt
>Waiting for her to touch it
>Came in wearing bra+panties, still no touch
>wtf.jpg when she comes in fully dressed again, lil bro finished school year

Nigga you had nightlight at 15?

...

i imagine thats affected your relationship forever now.........can never forget

Pic of ur mother also incest seduce rape her

>Be me again, same summer
>Lil bro and dad went to visit cousin or something for two days
>Mom said good night, went to bed
>Start jerking it, bedroom door wide open
>Hear mom calling my name, looking for me
>Don't answer, ignore her, still jerking furiously
>Hear footsteps, go beta, pretend to sleep, boner in hand, porn on laptop screen in plain view
>Again, squinty eyes
>See mom peeking around the door frame, staring
>Stares for a full minute, cock throbbing in hand
>Mom walks away and keeps yelling my name, I get up, put on thin pajama pants and walk out, giant tent in front
>Tell mom I was asleep, wassup?
>Doesn't remember/not important.

>Nothing happened. I found some nudes of hers I jerk it to, but that's it.

>sometimes you gotta lose the battle to win the war
holy fucking kek someone cap this

Not me but a couple nights ago I was driving home at like 1am and the guy in the car next to me was getting road head, we made eye contact and both simultaneously threw up the devil horns. keep on rockin in the free world guy. pic related, our faces

> am I right ladies?.jpg

Google told me it was low for our age group. Since I don't go around asking people I just assumed it was right.

>be me 16 years old
>fucking a 15 year old with amazing tits
>always looking for a place to fuck. away from parents
>one night park in an elementary school parking lot.
> fuck yeah. get into the back seat
>we both get naked. start fucking.
>knock on the window.
>police officer asks me to get out of the car.
>show license & insurance.
> it's my mom's car
>officer "want me to tell your mom what you are doing in her car?"
>me "no"
>makes us leave. I did not get to cum that night

Kek.

I might get to fuck my wife once a week if I'm lucky. Kids bitch about everything these days.

Where did you find that? I'm not seeing anything that says that.

Never forget

What the fuck answer did he expect?

>oh yeah, tell her. She loves kinky shit like that

No, no you won't you lying sack of shit.

Saved I guess.

what kind of autist jacks off in the washroom?
kekd hard

Yeah, we are planning kids soon, and that's a fact I've had to come to terms with. I expect a major drop. When season hits (we live in FL) we already drop to 2-3x/week.

Googled how often people in __ age groups fuck/week. It was a long time ago, give me a sec I'll check again.

You prefer those that hate sex and encourage cheating? You're a very damaged person user...

Only finding results for married people, can't seem to find any based on age. One said 1/week, but that's BS. I have to run errands so I can't check any more, sorry user.

And thanks for making not feel bad about my sex life. I could have sworn for my age group (25-30) it was 1+/day.

>cook good
>most latino food
wat

I'm okay with this.

This.

Cool, what spells do you know so far?

>Apparently fapping will scare the ghost away

wat

yes
>work finished early because I can't remember
>go to the gym
>go home and shower
>fuck it I have an hour to kill before the gf gets home from work
>open up pornhub and start watching some throated videos
>headphones on, dog in the hallway, the door is shut I figure if I the gf comes home I'll hear the dog bark
>I'm happily wanking away
>the dog is barking from outside
>but the doors are locked
>hold up
>I turn around and the gf is looking at me
>"she looks a bit tapped in the head"
>I was watching the Sarah Vandella video
>she says she won't ever go to that extreme with me so she doesn't mind me watching porn like it
>gf goes and makes dinner
and yes
>gf calls me and says her flatmate is out
>I go over
>we fuck all over the living room
>I have the gf on the window sill
>loving every moment
>hear laughing behind me
>"don't slip off I polished in here yesterday"
>me and gf are completely naked
>her flatmate is shaking her head
>we go to gf's room and finish up
>within an hour her flatmate has told everyone what happened on social media

>be me
>wife's hot friend comes over for the weekend
>blah blah blah we all end up fucking for like 4 hours
>next day I make breakfast
>everyone is in good mood
>go see movie
>get back at 6pm
>round 2: commence
>*insert loud, bizarre BDSM sex noises*
>head to kitchen 5 hours later for gatoraid
>pass roommate's room
>door cracked
>"Oh shit, he shouldn't be here!"
>peek inside
>roommate 2 feet from me, making this fuckin face as he clicks his stereos remote
>Thomas the Tank Engine theme blares at 110dB

>without me knowing, he had come home about an hour after we started again
>apparently he didn't like what he heard
>fucker waited for 3 Goddamn hours in his room with a youtube video paused and stereo at full volume just for this

>Yes

Nah, average is more like 1-3 times per week. Obviously it's different for everyone.

>16 years old
>first girlfriend ever who sleep at home
>She comes over my parents' house for the afternoon and night
>we go into my room, my father is downstairs and idk where is my mother
>start having sex, she blows me then she starts riding me
>she handcuffs me to my bed with some handbuffs we had bought like 1 month ago
>this feels fucking great
>my mother enters in the room, she was in fact sleeping in her bedroom
>she calls me by my name right before her head slips through the door
>"You there Peter ?"
>"NO"
>she sees me, my hand cuffed, my girlfriend riding me with her tits out
>"oh sorry" she closes the door
>girlfriend starts crying
>I can't think wether or not this is a fucking funny story or if my girlfriend is going to be shocked and leave me
>eventually start crying cause I'm an edgy teen and huge faggot.

That was 7 years ago. Still remember my mother's face.

>>within an hour her flatmate has told everyone what happened on social media
Fuck her. Fuck her in particular.

>be me 16/17
>being touchy w/gf
>she wants to go down on me
>ok yeah duh
>go downstairs to my room
>suddenly decide to break up with her instead b/c she has herpes
>mother running around the house yelli g trying to find us
>barges into my room
>wewlad.jpg

We'd touch eachother all the time under blankets -- I always thought it was obvious тBн -- so I'm kind of surprised my mom even bothered to spaz out that time.

>Be me, 16 years old
>Staying at my aunt's house on family vacation
> 2 girl cousins 20,22 and 1 guy cousin 29
>guy cousin hot girlfriend 25 stays with him
>Stay in basement/den on couch
>Behind couch is hallway to cousin(22) room and cousin(29) room
>go to bed
>wake up early
>MaxMorningWood.jpg
>Jerk off not once but twice
>cum buckets both times on myself
>Sit up to go shower
>turn around
>cousin's gf was sitting in the chair at the end of the couch staring out the window
>redder than a fresh tomato
>Finish vacation like nothing happened
>cousin was a dick to her
>regret not trying to fuck her

continue...

>"jump out of gf"
My sides

Happened last week

>sharing house with a roomate
>have dinner with him, his friend, and my girl, he doesn't know about us
>he and his friend leave, I remain alone with her
>start working on a project with her on the PC
>have a pause, she goes to the bathroom, when she comes back sit on me and we start making out
>we're in the living room, the main door is in front of us next to the bathroom door
>we barely hear a noise from the main door, of course it gets our attention, she goes checking, lights on the stairs' on
>she goes out on the stairs to check
>my roommate comes out of the bathroom

The fucker sneaked in, saw us making out and hided in there, I was shitting myself seeing the scene from the sofa

> me, a couple nights ago I was driving home at like 1am and the guy in the car sitting next to me was getting road head, we made eye contact and both simultaneously threw up the devil horns. keep on cummin in my mouth guy.
fixed that for you
the devil horns is what gave away how gay you are

>never seeked any occasion for sex
just tells himself that because he knows no one wants to fuck him.

Been caught so many times I can't count.

sharing is caring

>High school
>junior year, just got my license and bought my first car
>gf is a 7/10 Northern Indian qt, light-brown, thin, long hair, whitish face, just to give an idea
>she has her license but not a car so I drive her to school
>we get to school 20 minutes early one day
> park on this old little league baseball field where no one else goes and then walk half a mile
>We end up fucking in the backseat
>Bite each other's necks and I nearly rip gf's jeans down the middle
>Both of our hair is all frizzy, gf throws on sweats and my hoodie and ties hers back
>run to school
>Both look sweaty and fucked up
>Show up 5 minutes late
>We have French together first period
>Teacher is a family friend of ours, knows that we're dating
>Hear her holding in laughter when she says we have to both go down to the office and get a late pass
>Both of our faces are red as shit
>Rest of class can't look at us straight for rest of period

My dad caught me fapping when I was 13. I even remember what porno it was. Thankfully he didn't tell mom.

going at it based on passed memories
apparently i was making some noise
i hear the door creak open, my 23 f roomate
i almost had a heart attack
until she asked if I wanted help
thought she was a slut
but she bled it was so tight

>Be me in community college with ex
>Didn't have any private time due to both of us living at home
>Would make out in my Jeep, so many memories
>One night during winter, both of us were horny
>Campus had just closed, had made out there plenty of times before never had been caught
>Start making out, hard as diamonds
>See a car pull up with a spotlight
>Comes to my jeeps window (we were in the trunk)
>Knocks on window, we get caught by the Police
>Get IDs checked (luckily she had just turned 18)
>Get a warning and are followed all the way back to my neighborhood
>Cop finally backs off

Broke up with the bitch 6 months later, she is a crazy cunt but man the load of sex we had.

MORMON
O
R
M
O
N

newfag af

How the fuck a horny monkey masturbates?

>lies

>spring fling, roomie and i both had a little much
>i leave first to the dorm, shared bunk room, door closed.
>whip out the vib
>she enters bc I couldn't hear the front door
>under the sheets but the sound is obvious
>not only does she laugh but turns the light on
>told she does it as well, still laughing
>light off, i'm embarrassed
>she stays in the room and tells me she bets she is more horny
>first but far from last experience with her

Cont. Now

>squiggle vision
>viber story
subtle banter?

Popped a semi not gonna lie

MOAR naow

>first but far from last experience with her
So what are you waiting for?

nothing
no more need for the bunk bed, one shower was no longer a problem, and i got to "see" her toy collection. tasted so good too, never had a problem with an O after that

i suck at this but ill try for you guys
>be me 16
>have no lock on my door
>mom never knocks on my door and just barges in
>had a lot of close calls while having sex with different girls ive brought home
>one day i had my qt3.14 asian gf over
>sexytimehasbegun.mpeg
>gf had previously bought me a huge bear the week before
>know mom always like to just barge in so i put the bear on top of bed
>start to have sex on opposite side of the bed
>like clockwork mom barges in
>almost sees me having sex
>gf almost cries from embarassment
>mom installs a lock on my door the next day

>be me around 14
>was watching porn on my phone
>laying in my bed with the sheets covering my boner
>feelsgoodman.png
>suddenly out of the blue my mom opens the door
>she sees me holding the phone
>she comes closer to take my phone
>this phone had this thing that if you press the lock button while playing a video all the buttons stop working
>while mom is holding my phone I accedently press the lock button
>my mom is trying to grab my phone while porn is still playing and the screen facing me
>I get this genius idea to take out the battery
>i take out the battery while my mom still holding the phone
>i act like im mad at my mom for breaking my phone
>didnt get cought
When I think about it now im still surprised how I acted very fast and took out the battery

>Be me 17, gf 17 from somewhat religious family
>Finger banging her while making out on back porch so her mother cant >hear/see
>Gf is humping my soaked hand on the verge of coming
>Hear the back door open. Father coming in from working outside.
>He clears his throat loudly as he walks by.
>Gf keeps right on humping and cums on my hand.
>Same gf, same summer
>Licking her pussy on the living room floor late at night
>door closed from rest of house
>gf has me by the hair, humping my face when door opens and then closes >again
>Think it was her older brother but don't know.

>Different gf, 16
>in living room laying between sofa and coffee table
>gf sucking my dick, getting close
>Hear foot steps, gf sits up and starts talking to dad
>Pretends she’s reading magazine. Dad cant see me because of sofa.
>Gf keeps jerking me, even though my dick is trying to soften.
>Keeps having a convo with her dad
>Leans over every now and then to give my dad >a suck when dads not >looking this way
>Dad eventually leaves, gf goes right back to >sucking as if nothing had happened.

...

>be me
>23 and still at home
>live in basement of parents
>Open sided staircase with a banister right above it you can look down
>dirty clothes hamper is right next to staircase
>Staircase leads off kitchen and has no door.
>bathroom right next to clothes hamper that when you're inside you can't hear anyone upstairs walking.
>Come out of bathroom and I'm jerking furiously with my face buried in my mom's panties one night, like about to suck them in I'm smelling them so hard. It's pitch black.
>hear mom clear her throat at the top of the staircase
>ohfuckhowlonghasshebeenthereandwhatdidshesee
>statue AF
>she walks back to the bedroom
>I put her panties back and throw some clean white clothes I rubbed on the floor to make look dirty, on top of hers so I can say I was putting them in the hamper
>nothing is ever said