We allhave secrets. What is yours?

We allhave secrets. What is yours?

Also Advice thread.


Last hit bump limit

Other urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/i/s1nvAQ1Xg4yM
vid.me/VQIW#59s
pbs.org/food/the-history-kitchen/10-edible-aphrodisiacs/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Posted in last, posting here for advice

Should be kinda simple, and unneeded to ask for advice, but there is a certain level of awkwardness between us in person.

Basically I asked this girl out in April. Nothing came of it, other than getting her number. Over the following few months, we would see each other in class, and we would kinda ignore each other, or awkwardly talk a little. But we still would text occasionally, and when we did text, we would go back and forth for anywhere from 2 hours to 8 hours.

During summer it kinda warmed up a bit, we agreed to hang out, but never actually did. Now, it is October and haven't seen her since early May. Messaged her around mid-September, and went back and forth for a while. (Talking mostly about School, Volunteering and Work) One of the big things I established was that she is extraordinarily busy, while I am not

Basically I just want to figure out the best way to approach her to arrange something. (Not as a date, obviously, but just as friends.)

I really don’t talk to her often, maybe monthly at best, and really don’t see her in person, I do see her in passing, but not really enough time to talk even briefly.

18, spent 8 years learning music, can't write it for shit, can't read sheet music, studying Computer Science in college now but I'm not really likin' it.
Don't have much else going for me, no job, no gf yet
What do.

Maybe you could look into something of a management role for Music?

A lot like this chick. Short red hair. Short girl. Freckles. Tight all round. White skin.

Everyone thinks I have a high metabolism but I'm actually a bulimia fag

Just happens to be my type, except for the part of her being short. Like my girls above average. (Like 5'6 - 5'9)

She was slender so her proportions were very good.

> One of the big things I established was that she is extraordinarily busy
that's where you're wrong kiddo, no one is that busy when is talking 2-8 hours with someone online.

Anyway, how clear it is that you are in to her? From what you type she seems impressed so it's easy you just arrange going for a coffee with her. (if you wanna play it cool tell her you can stay with her only untill a certain time because later on you have some arranged something with your friends. So it's a mini-date, a friendly date.)

Eh, a manager isn't too appealing to me - more focused on the playing than just regulating it.

>2-8 hours with someone online.

With half an hour plus between responses? And the fact that she's working 2 jobs and is taking 7 classes?

>how clear it is that you are in to her
I think I made it quite clear, I told her that I assumed that it was just gonna be us that first time.

Probably could easily get something arranged. I just don't really speak to her too often though. May monthly at best.
Also, what makes you think that she is impressed?

Producer/Engineer?

I synthesize all sensory available to me together into an insane narrative that only I'm aware of, complete with insanely obscure references to things that only I would understand. I'm aware that I'm crazy, but I can still function in society. Think of it as "Can't Unsee" except I can't look away from the monitor. Shit's annoying. Its been fading though. Feelsgoodman. Soon, soon I will be able to unsee.

bump

> I fucked the girlfriend of a national Australian sports star.
> It scared the shit out of me what he would do to me if he found out but I just couldn't get enough of her fine haired pussy.
> She was nothing special. A little older, a bit meaner. Kind of small and tight.
> But she would hold my gaze when I fucked her. Kind of like she was urging me to fuck her harder.
> I always knew when to drop by as I knew when he was playing away.
> Once I called by and turned in her front yard, then I had to quickly turn and leave when I sawy his car there. He and her were sitting on the front porch drinking and she caught my eye and smiled so hard.
> She met me half an hour later around the corner and let me fuck her ass in the back of m car down a laneway.

>Probably could easily get something arranged.
oh Im sorry what was the question again?


>"Basically I just want to figure out the best way to approach her to arrange something."

I keep telling people I'm autistic, but I'm not

Well, I mean, I could probably arrange something, just trying to figure the best way to go about it given my situation.

I'm a straight male and love my ass played with! And I find t girls super sexy!

Probably best to say you are just Bi then.

I love hanging around with my cousin, shes skinny blonde with nice perky tits and ass. Would love to fuck her so bad. We have been really close few last years and love hanging together. There is some sexual tension that even our mutual friends can see. So I was drunk 2days ago and sent her a dick pic. but she didnt say anything about the pic today. We were hanging around for a whole day today and it seamed like nothing had happened. we were still joking and making double meaning jokes and stuff. Do you think its a lost cause. Id really like to fuck her. She knew I was drunk 2 days ago. Do you think I can still get her sweet lill pussy? what should I do next to get things moving?

>be me age 23
>older sister is a junkie
>came begging for money
>told her I'd give her the money if she sucked my dick
>she sucked my dick!!
>I came buckets... and loved it
>now she does it all the time
>I can easily afford the money, but should I continue or stop it?

i fucked my maid throughout my teenage years

> I banged 3 different chicks in one afternoon. > First was my ex-girlfriend who would swing by to have post-relationship sex. Its alwasy easier fucking someone you are familiar with.
> Second was my new girlfriend who turned up just after I fucked my ex. I brought her into my house and told my ex to leave through the front door after we had passed into the house.
> My new girlfriend heard the door close and said what that was. I just said it was the wind or something.
> After some weed, new girfriend got horny and demanded I fuck her on the couch.
> I left 30 minutes later to drop something off at the hotel I worked at.
> When I got there, some staff were getting drunk at the pool. One was this blonde Milf whom I worked with as a waiter.
> After leaving the front office, I went to the carpark and bumped into the Milf who was smashed.
> She dragged me into the linen store and sucked me hard again.
> I was getting sore but managed to blow in her pussy.
> One good day.

I'd use that money to get her some help, man.
Drugs are a fucking bitch, and they've taken way too many good people to not take lightly.

Who knows, she could pay you back by sucking you.

This

lol I guess.

I'm trying to get over this girl I like, but every time I see her, I'm reminded that I love her. She's nothing special, but there is something I like about her that I could never find out. It's like I found the one. However, I know she hates me. What do, anons?

>be me 14
>friend has his bday and he is buying us pizza
>Fill my stomach with more pizza I could ever lift
>Later we leave and friend's mom driving us home
>Im in front seat feeling the need to shit
>need so intense after 15 minutes I couldn't keep anymore
>try to fart it out a bit and there it goes the diarrhea escapes
>quickly close my asshole but the damage has already happened
>shit stinks through the car
>try to act as someone farted moving my hand around my nose
>finally home I get off car and I saw I even left a shit stain on the seat
>go quickly home while diarrhea dripping done my pants still acting cool
>get in house, shit the other part that I left behind
>try to sleep forgetting the embarrassment

And that's it, I still haven't talked about it. I can't tell if my friends noticed it but my friends mom is sure thing. But if they did it's killing me how I haven't got the power to admit it joke about it even after all those years.

What makes you think she hates you?


Kinda in a similar situation, but I'm friends with the girl instead

Bump

She's cold and indifferent towards me. And her friends harass me and treat me like trash, which influences her to at most give me indifferent looks. She never says anything mean.

She sounds like a bitch; better be a 10/10

First world problems. How cute.

This is called being young and introverted or autistic.

Most likely a lying cunt.. If not, hot as fuck
You ever actually fuck her?

>She's cold and indifferent towards me
My friend is kinda like that

>And her friends harass me and treat me like trash,
Maybe they just don't like you?

>which influences her to at most give me indifferent looks
Possible, but might not be genuine

>She never says anything mean.
Not necessarily a bad thing

Find a different girl and fuck her. The feelings will transfer. Its called a rebound.

> new co-worker shows up one day... she's cute as fuck
> i mentor her through her onboarding and we become really good friends
> make out with her after a happy hour
> little awkward the next day, but we still click and it's fun
> make out with her again that afternoon, we hit up a bar after work and i bring her home
> im involved with a long distance relationship, i tell her it was a mistake
> she goes out with another co-worker who had a crush on her
> she was at my house before and after their first date
> made her swallow before she went to get coffee with the guy
> now im the team lead with both of them under me, they're the "company couple"
> didn't talk to her much at all, they seemed really happy
> jokingly squeeze her ass one day at work, she's giving me the fuck eyes
> ask her to come over after work and she says yes
> i literally hear her telling her boyfriend that she's got family plans
> reminded of how shitty i am as a person

High school junior, flat chest, soft voice, but really nice thighs and 7/10 ass. But I like her because she and I have a lot in common. We are procrastinators and somewhat introverted towards new people. I've had a crush on her since I was a sophomore and she was a freshman

If she's one of those cunts who tries to rub it in your face about how well she is without you, chances are she's just a loser and only trying to convince herself that. Just sit back, find a new girl and forget the last one.

Few months ago my gf and I got a puppy. She loves it so much.
I fucking hate that thing.
I fantasize about strangling the little shit.

Wat do?

Spend some time with it, pet it, and open yourself up to it in your life.
Unless it's covering your house in shit and biting the fuck out of the neighbors, I'd assume it's a pretty good pal.

i'm a middle/high school teacher and i think about fucking my students all of the time- might actually let it happen too

i'm a middle/high school teacher and i think about fucking my students all of the time- I might actually let it happen too

It's actually quite good and well behaved. I don't know why I hate it I just do. I can't ask her to get rid of it she would never forgive me.

I'm playing the girl who I think is into me. We talk all night, I tell her I love her and shit and she soaks it all up. She says she doesn't believe any of it and that I hate her, if only she knew how right she was

>have girlfriend, real fucking crazy bitch but dat pussy tight and I've not had any in months
>She breaks up with me 4 times over 3 months for stupid shit (one was she jokingly proposed to me and I laughed it off too quickly)
>Everytime we "break up" I go to her house unannounced and demand break up sex
>She still lives with her ex boyfriend, fuck her in the ass while she cries about how her emotions are fucked after her dad leaving and mum not talking to her and make her clean the cum out of her ass with exs pillow
>Eventually get sick of her shit and decide revenge
>Propose to her, buy expensive ring and a prop (returned it later that day for full refund)
>she says yes, cries, I fuck the shit our of her right there in the hallway, make her suck shit off my dick
>Pick up ring as she cries about how happy she is
>Tell her i couldn't marry or even stand a crazy bitch like her and walk out
>Completely remove her from my life (block on social media, she doesn't know my address or friends, change sim card)
>Bitch drinks a load of shower gel (WTF?) and cuts wrists in Bath 3 weeks later
>Lives but now lives in "safe custody"
LOL

my wife and I do scat sex almost every time we fuck

Megan?

My secret is about someone else's secret. I posted her pics along with her deep dark secret on a public website for all too see. I talk a little bit of shit about her, use her first name and provide her city. It's still there, and could easily be used to trace back to me.

I like to wear shiny adidas track pants and shiny underwear, walk around with my hands in my pockets and jerk myself off.

Is it weird to wear shiny track pants??

I once got fucked in the ass by three men while dressed in my gfs clothes while she slept two rooms away.

When i live with my cousin , his gf basically live with us too.....so i would sniff hr dirty pantys and cum in the clean ones , i wipe them after but they got a little stain usually

She never say anyting so i grew bolder and let my cum dry in her clean pantys and still she never say anything

The last times we live togheter i leave them still a little moist and she still never say anything

A few months ago she say she miss the old times when we 3 live togheter.........did i say she and my cousin had a baby around the time i leave them moist , funny thing right ?

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

Well then definitely just try to spend some time with it then, try to see if a connection builds after a few days/weeks
Eh, it's not worth it man. Just cut it off and try to find someone who you really enjoy. No point in adding one extra thing to worry about in your life.
Plus the girl will get all sorts of fucked up from that kinda behind the back shit. That's just not cool.

My fantasy is to get access to Justin Bieber's laundry and sniff his sweaty clothes and jerk off onto them.

Royal Dutch Shell is colluding with the Turkish Government and buying Islamic State oil to sell to America.

in love with skinny 15 year old boy

Wait 3 years then go for it.
Unless you're like 35

My secret is that I don't find humans sexually attractive, so I fuck dogs. People can't handle this blow to their ego, but when I ask them if they'll have sex with me, then they act like I'm crazy. YOU are the one so concerned with my sex-life, yet you refuse to fuck me? WTF?

37 year old guy dating his mom

my secret is im an Aquarius.

>Half of Cred Forums

Is that user from last night who had the bf with the low sex drive here?

Ariana Grande or Ariel Winters for me

I will explode after the first sniff , hahahahaha

lol
if only teenage boys knew how many people want to fuck them.....

I am actually. Leaving in a few minutes though. Why?

I've never had anybody irl want to.
Only online.
At 18, being a virgin is akin to being a silverback gorilla.

Better start calling me Harambe

Never sex , but lots of BJ from my lovely husky Mindy ......kind of afraid of taking the leap , haahahah

18 year old virgin?
You're like literally the biggest loser in history of universe!

I think I gave up on my life when I stopped living my own.

I get it, you want to smell something sweet. For me, it's not so much Bieber, just the idea of this guy who thinks he's cool, getting a lot of pussy without much effort, wearing cool clothes... I just want to smell him. I used to smell other guy's stuff at camp, you could tell who jerked off a lot. It's gross but guys smell good in a weird way.

I fantasize about fucking my friends gf while he watches.

Bieber's a lesbian

Because you subconsciously are homosexual

Any improvement?

fuck i wish we could get over this fearing pedo thing as a society. you could be the most awkward acne-ridden weak ugly teenage guy and there are like a million guys in their 30s and 40s getting hard just thinking about you in the abstract

Been there too , at a summer camp kind of thing , dry cum stain underware is a hell of a kick , hahahaha

Yesterday I was drunk as fuck and I sent a bunch of pics of my gf naked to a group chat with friends I feel like shit now!

Woe is me, O Earth
Not even 1/6th of my life is over and I'm already convinced that it's all for not.
Cruel disaster, horrible fate, butt fuck

Hahaha

Its not like that, its more like to cuck him

I feel like I'm cheating on one of my siblings if make other friends.

I have a prehensile penis

Nope. I bought some mangos today though and when my bf gets home I'm going to tell him to start eating them because they are good for him. Haven't tried the Pavlov thing yet because we haven't done anything, have to wait for him to want to have sex. Might be another 5 days.

You can't feel trapped, man, you've got the power to meet and be with anyone you want, don't feel like you owe it to a sibling to be dedicated to them only.
I'm not saying say abandon them completely and only get new friends, just find a balance.

Nice! Did you ever leave a gift for anyone? When I was 13 I jerked off into a guy's jacket once after soccer practice, it was such a thrill

i broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because i am tired of only having slept with 1 girl ever and i am ready to fuck tons of girls and tbh she was getting fatter and i was losing weight and tbh she was probably the best housewife material to ever walk in my life... she helped me become what i am today... and i kicked her the fuck out. i dumped her 8 days ago and already tried to hook up... so far... no good... Need advice for the GAME

Im 6'2"
220lbs{working towards 200, was 280}
21 y/o
and yea

Oh, and Trips and i'll post pic of ex gf
and separate trips for pic of me

Trips decides if me or gf

I are 15 tacos last week.

Take her back if you can. Fuck others on the side

I've been eating little else other than Peanut Butter and Jelly and some form of Chicken for 4 years.
I'm just always in the mood for it, I've narrowed it down to be high protein, low fat, low calorie, and I take a vitamin supplement.
It's weird.
I just never have cravings for other food

When I was younger I jerked off and came in my pants to the thought of fucking my best friends mom and sister all while he was asleep next to me

Dude, when you're 40-50, most likely you aren't going to be sleeping with ANY woman besides the one you've made a strong commitment with,
If this girl was really that special then go with her, if not, then just find another girl and try to start something.
But since you're 21, I'd recommend just date like crazy until you're 30, then you'll know what you like in a life partner.

Well... she was controling and shit but she honestly had good intentions and shit but im not about that. Her family was good, and she could honestly get anything she wanted.... just like not attracted to her anymore after 5 years

YES YES ¡¡¡¡¡
There was this really cute guy , who clearly was on the "not so manly side" but acted all macho-man and kind of mess/tease with me , so one night i took his toothbrush and cum allover it.......he never find out , but i got a real hardon everytime i saw him brushing his teeth.....i was 14 - 15 at the time , also cum on some shoes , hahahaha

Mangoanon here, I had to fap 4 times after eating that mango. And it was just half a mango.
Confirmed aphrodisiac.
Oh btw, I heard his cum will taste better. Cannot confirm, not willing to do science to find out.

Ok, yeah, so just fuck it.
Find someone that respects you, and actually gives a shit about you as a person.
But do date around a lot, too.
Being with one person for a long time at a young age is a good thing, but you need the knowledge of seeing multiple people

Last spring break I went on a school trip to a Cuban beach resort with a few friends, my older sister and my girlfriend. I was walking on the beach with my girlfriend and I stumbled upon a nudist area where I saw my sister fucking her boyfriend and two other guys behind a palm tree...

Now tempted to eat a mango and jerk it this week.
Fuck.

Yeah I fantasize now about cumming in my hand and smearing it on a boy, like 13-18, but too dangerous. maybe backpack... still too dangerous I think

I send photos of my friend via a kik account for others to jerk to.
Kik:anastasia.1999

Thanks for the suggestion Last night.cant wait to try it out. Going totry and tell him to eat them daily , hope I works

Work on your chops and join a cruise ship. They give you music to ply, don't require you to play by ear, plus feed you, house you, and pay salary.

It's not very hard to get the job if you can play pop/rock well.

Source: Me. Doing it.

Done something like that , but smearing in girls asses or faces when they are drunk.....also a railing on a mall once , hahahaha , real nice those feelings

vocaroo.com/i/s1nvAQ1Xg4yM
Got some chops now, was planning on having something like that as a backup plan if college doesn't pay off
Thanks!

If you do, make sure you take zinc and folic acid so you actually have the cum to keep up with your multiple boners.

Oh and don't eat a whole mango. If you're my body size and have my metabolism, just judging proportionally by how much I ate, you'd have to fap six times by my hunch.
I fucking love mangos.

I want to try chocolate next, but I don't think I can eat the necessary dose of chocolate to feel the effect without barfing. Time to check erowid.

Nobody should have to live with the sexual frustration you faced. You deserve a good sex life.

I'm 6'3" and 170, so half a mango should be enough.
>mfw I also have zinc pills in the house
When should I take em? Rough time estimate before mango consumption?

When people wear sandals, or any kind of open footwear for that matter, I´m obsessed with counting their toes. It´s not a foot fetish tho. I don´t know why I do it.

I think I have binge eating disorder

I am obsessed with my body weight and every time I eat I feel like a weak piece of shit

I starve on weekdays and eat normally on weekends, haven't started throwing up yet but I am very close to having to

Male btw

i'm a middle/high school teacher and i think about fucking my students all of the time- I might actually let it happen too
>idiot

Don't starve yourself.
Ever.
I had the same thing, dropped 40 pounds in a few weeks.
If you starve yourself, THEN your body will be weak because it's not getting nutrients and it'll start eating your bones and muscle.

I'm 160, 5'11"
Eat it all simultaneously. Now. It takes time to process and transport all the chemicals into the right spots in your body.
I have an ectomorph metabolism, making me a skinny skelly. It took me a few hours, I think, for the boners to arise. Keep in mind I had just fapped, so there's a refractory period to consider as well so you ought to see results sooner than I did. Have fun.

I would. Do it and post a greentext.

Me and my cousin occasionally fuck each other in the ass.

I'm a skinny skelly with a chubby belly.
Thug life, should be similar

You're not a nice person.. But I like it

Starving myself makes me feel weak and dizzy but it flattens out my stomach a little and makes me feel great

I've fucked every girl my best friends have been with for the last 7 years. Whether it be they were in a relationship or just casual flings.

im gay

>Muh niggers in Africa are suffering therefore everyone else's problems are invalid
Fuck off libcuck, just because some nigger in Africa is starving doesn't mean we don't have problems. If you wanna fix that shit then go fix it and stop shitposting on Cred Forums.

Same, I wish my friend was so I could suck his dick.

Lost my virginity to a whore about a month ago. Had sex with her two more times within the past month. Went to get an HIV Screening came out negative. So I'm thinking maybe I should keep fucking her.

same guy
I sucked my friends dick a few days ago. It was my first blowjob it was amazing, we're planning on doing it again sometime

It's not worth it, man.
It'll just fuck you up so much.
I know it's hard, but you have to eat regularly, and make sure NEVER to skip a meal, especially breakfast.
If you really want a small stomach, don't cut down food, just eat better food, and walk and do some yoga. Also drink tons of water, it'll get you healthy in no time.

I'd get some medical help from a doctor, just pop in, tell him your issues, he'll redirect you to a specialist that can definitely help you.

I've never had a gf, but people assume that I have. I don't even think I'm bad looking, I have friends that are girls, but I still can't get a gf. Now that I'm in uni, I've been trying to talk to girls, but the ones I'm interested in, I feel they don't feel the same. How do I get a gf guys?

If I only I had the courage to ask, I'd love to feel his load in my ass

I enjoy cutting, bruising and burning myself. Like not in a sad depressing way, but in an oh this feels good and relaxing way.

Confidence.
#1.
If you can't get it, fake it. Real confidence will come.
Find a girl in similar classes/with similar interests as you, and get to know her, if it works out, great, if it doesn't, repeat.

I traded my girlfriend for a pack of yugioh cards in elementary. I was cucking before it became cool.

I'd find another vice, or just less intense. BDSM is healthy, but when it comes to stuff like burning and cutting, that can leave some real serious damage.

so was younge boy pretty neat looking and i had been lifting for about a while when one time after watching my post workout zyzz chat roullete videos i went to take a huge protien diareahh snakes **** after i got done ****ting i went to look in my dads medicine cabniet and thats when i found it.. creatine and something called "omega 3" sounds like some ****ing hulk power **** or something. i got really scared and immediately flushed everything and started crying.

the toilet clogged up as i had flushed the full plastic bottles and my **** started to overflow onto the floor. my dad was gonna be home in any minute i had to think fast.

i packed my **** up and told my mom i never wanted to go to dads again, we got a lawyer, hes been paying child support. tries to send me letters but i dont open them, out of fear kind of. anyway i have a new dad now and his name is craig

I would but ppl betray each other. My siblings will never and would never betray me.

Some fag family members are trying to take me out, by betraying me with 16 year old friends those double crossing dumb fucks.
Also they put an usb on cpu even do I don`t use it to communicate that much.

you glorious fuck

But that's a good thing! If anyone does betray you one day, you'll always have them to rely on!
And most people aren't as bad as you think. Most people truly do want to help their fellow man.

I don't want to be healthy I want to look as skinny as possible

have a fit brother, he likes to walk around shirtless all the time, sexy as furak,

often challenge him for fights, lose on purpose to be dominated, mfw he pins me down and sits on me,

-mfw I start screaming "please don't sit on my face please don't! I hate it when you do that", he is so stupid that he believes I don't like it when he does it

-mfw sometimes reverse psychology works so well he will sit on my face and fart, when that happens I almost cum without touching myself

I dont know why but ever since he started lifting even his farts became smelier and louder, which is great

I'm a poor trustfundbaby that lives well in thirldworldcountries. I lie to everyone about what I do because that would make me a kidnappingtarget; and it is slowly breaking my heart.

kind of but I don't really mind the scars :/

cars friend tried to mom me in the back finger

Did he fuck her in front of you while you jerk off to dark magician girl?

But you can still do that without skipping meals or feeling bad.
Hell, I eat pretty bad sometimes and I feel terrible, but as long as I just drink a lot of water and walk a bit, I'm still super skinny.
It also depends on your family's genetics - some people are built a certain way, so don't try to force it to extremes
As long as you're not severely hurting yourself in terms of it harming your physical or mental health to a state of extremities, then go for it

I was a camwhore on here for like 2 years.

I would say it is only partially a secret though 'cause I got doxxed. Ah well.

warnie doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment does he?

Thanks.

Dude... we were only like 6yr olds back then. I didn't even know what sex was back then.

Bump? I'd love some more advice. Should I keep on trying or move on. If I should move on, what can I do? I'm a high school senior and she's a junior if that helps

How much do you make doing that? I'm curious to know if it's profitable.

It seems to me u should alpha up.

Ask her on a date! And, you know, just be chill about it if u really worry about loosing her friendship.... 'youre hot, Im [atractive for this and that reason] we like eachother, lets explore this further and if it doesent work we go back to being friemds without the curiosity'.

I tried to eat better and it just made me fat so I have to starve to stay somewhat skinny. I am not even skinny yet

I did it for free. Even worse.

I'm sure it's pretty easy to profit from it though.

Oh man so lucky.

kek
I was offering advice on the thread last night, but left before mango.

That shit is not going to work. If you want to increase sex drive at a chemical level you need to increase testosterone. Get him to work out more.

Then maybe it's your metabolism, eat regularly, just exercise to raise it.
Or, just go to a doctor and try to sort it out there.
Nutritionists deal with this kinda thing a lot, and they'd be happy to get you happy, skinny, AND healthy

Calories in, calories out my man. I've lost 15kg without exercising. Just simply tracking how many calories I'm eating per day.

Myfitnesspal app. Try it.

>Ask her on a date
Did that in April. Shit happened. Long story, may not be entirely her choice.

Tried again around late may. Ignored, or did not see it.

We agreed to meetup over summer, but never did.

I could have invited her to head out to Six Flags with a friend of mine at the end of Summer.

How'd that happen?

Oh. What site did you do it on and we're you popular? How did you attract viewers?

If shes busy making herself better and wanting a good life, and your being small and not willing to work that hard at something, then why would she want to be with you?

When people wear sandals or any kind of open footwear I instantly get the urge to stomp on their feet for having the arrogance to think they're safe.

This one. Cred Forums itself.

I just took requests. I was moderately known I suppose. For a good while after I left my pictures were still being posted and people still requested me. I think I violated every part of myself to entertain my viewers.

Peed in a bag once. That was.. interesting.

That's because you're a faggot and that's the closest you'll ever come to their dick.

I slept with two women. each one thought they were my girlfriend at the time - they lived together but also hated eachother and never spoke to eachother for the whole tyime they lived together... I slept with them both for about 1 month and they never realised... Then one moved out and I broke up with her (never really "together" anyway, so way nice and easy) and I stayed with the other one... Im still with her 4 years later. neither of them knew and never will.

Eh, same major

I'm taking 5 classes instead of her 7.

And I am in the process of becoming an EMT (Which she knows I was planning on)

And I have a job.

So its not like I'm a slacker,

keksaplenty

Are you the famous Pisschan? Would you be okay to post a picture. I'm curious to know.

go for it

every time dau comes to visit we end up fucking

>be a 11 year old me
>probably gay or whatever
>Friend comes over every friday for Nintendo n chill
>found him attractive for some reason
>his parents were getting a divorce so he was over more often because my parents felt bad
>one day we were having a sleep over and he fell asleep
>while hes sleeping he pops a kid boner
>feeling extra faggy tonight, I pop a kid boner too
>tfw i need to see it
>unbutton his TMNT pajama bottoms
>kid boner pops out
>glorious.jpg
>without thinking I start to touch
>kinda start jacking him off a little
>he starts rustling and I freak out
>I pretend to be asleep when he wakes up
>he goes back to sleep
>still friends today at the age of 22
>tfw you jerked off your best friend and he doesn't even know. Possible rape.

big secret between us.

>doxxing the camwhores
this is why we can't have nice things

Id love to know more - can you elaborate?

Forget it. Its a BIG deal in your mind. No one else is thinking about it. You need to let it go.

didn't pisschan pee in a martini glass and drink it rather than a bag? or was that martinichan?

hard to remember threads you were in 9 years ago

Kek

Fucking what? I didn't say anything about being a faggot. They just date sleazy girls who can't keep their legs closed.

But nice try. :^)

wow.

You could teach, busk, or play in a band

I honestly have no idea. I was never really into Pisschan.

Post a picture please.

virgin detected

I fucked the bunny

I don't have the balls to ask the girl that I fell for out, and I have stolen the chains off of at least 15 bikes at my college because I'm an asshole and its kinda funny

Faggot who projects detected.

I won the lottery a couple of years ago. Less than 50 million. I have been living a lie with all of my newfound clubbing / Atlantic City friends. They all think I am a hotshot stock trader, but really I am a pleb who got very lucky.

I can't recall if I got referred to as Pisschan more than once or twice.

If that is the Pisschan referred to, it certainly wasn't me lol. I wasn't here 9 years ago. More like 3-5 years.

Last I was here I was about 25lbs heavier. Aiming for 115lbs. Lalalala.

Mentioned it yesterday, but he does workout. He does a lot of cardio and does pushups and has dumbbells he works out with at home.

...

FUCK ME this sounds EXACTLY like m,e 8 years ago... im now a programmer at a games company (cool right!?) WRONG - its boring as fuck. PLEASE go back to music and study it TO DEATH!!! you have more time that you think, the money will come somehow, it always does... PLEASE PLEASE PELASE dont settle for a "secure income" - its boring as shit and I want to die its that boring.

follow your dreams... everyone says that I know but holy shit, I wish I had, i'd be a lot happier,

whenever someone says what you said, Its basically saying "Please someone tell me Im gay because I cant tell myself." Its ok user, be who you really are. We care for you no matter what, be a faggot

...

you dont happen to have a scar on your tit do you?

boi

I used to. It's gone now. Bio oil is amazing.

uhuh... did I upset you sweetie?

What should I do in college? Besides music?
Right now, I can play guitar, bass, drums, can do a bit of mixing/engineering
Family is putting me through college so I have to do at least the 4 years for now. After that I'm going to focus on music, and only go for a big job if needed.

How does fucking chicks equal a faggot?

I don't think you know what that word means user. I've no interest in fucking my buddies.

this... this is just awful. Listen man I love you and everything but, just stop this man. Stop.

Well you certainly have a nice body for cam whoring. Did you stop because you were doxxed or for a totally different reason?

No, but your bait is weak af. You need to up your shit if you wanna actually rustle some jimmies.

shit, I thought you were dead adolf. how u been?

I.... I can't stop..... :'(

Because I was doxxed. My pics got sent to my close relatives and I just gave up after that. Little bit awkward.

Pretty good man. Just been focusing on getting my life together. Camwhoring was a fun thing once but there are bigger priorities now.

How about you?

Its ok man, I wont think any less of you. Youre family wont think any less of you. Youre friends wont think any less of you. Just be who you are.

This isn't the guy you're arguing with but he clearly got you upset :P

I was in a relationship where I was slapped and choked and had cock shoved down my throat every day for weeks. I loved every min of it. He was big on humiliation and would pinch my fat and call me piggy/whale. I'm about 50 lbs overweight and have been most my life. I'm used to the name calling so it doesnt bother me anymore. I stopped seeing him after a while because he rarely fucked my pussy and I longed for him to hammer my cunt. I wanted it to hurt when I walked, feel where his cock was every time I took a step. He fucked me on two occasions. The first time he couldn't keep his dick hard, and the second time he lasted about 2m. When he's down my throat he can last for two hours..

He messages me every now and then. Saying pig. Piggy answer me. Then demand pictures of my throat. I usually cave, but I haven't met up with him and probably wont.. But I like him. I like how aggressive he is, how he doesn't take my shit and calls me on my crap. I enjoyed how he pushed my limits and could tell when I really couldn't take anymore. I often fantasize about him coming home to me waiting for him on my knees. After he's eaten a meal I've prepared for him and he has his beer and is relaxing on the couch, I'll wait by him and let him know with my eyes that I'm thirsty too. I fantasize having a life with this man. One that, in reality treats me like garbage.

Wtf is wrong with me. He told me once if I were skinny, he would take more ownership of me. Like a dog. I'm on two sports teams. If I were to get that skinny I would hAve to stop eating. Not to mention my tits would shrink and I'm fond of looking like a chubby pornstar without trying. I feel like I should just starve myself and then maybe I'll get fucked.

I think of every fat man/woman as Dr. Robotnik

Alright, you're officially retarded user.

No bait bro. whats your name? *waggles dick in your face while farts cum bubble and giggles*

yeah, you were getting pretty loose with personal information at the end there. You seemed to be going through a rough time. Glad things are working out.

I'm still here, so same old.

Lol! How was that like? Were your parents mad? Did any of your relatives shamed or disowned you?

Do I look retarded, you're not even trying to make it seem like someone else.

Seriously, lurk moar.

he's baiting you and youre falling for it. move on

i like a girl but shes a dike so fuck me i guess

LOLOL actually wasnt me.. Thanks for that, laughed a lot

I ended it there user.

Its ok, Its ok. If you need a shoulder to cry on user , I'm here for you. Its a big change but trust me it will feel like a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

ok non.

Yeah almost stopped giving a fuck I think. Bad headspace and all that. Good now though. No more cutting or depression. Shrinking out of all my clothes. Heh

My mother was pissed but didn't have much to say. My brother called me a whore for about a year and most of my relatives were super awkward around me.

Looking back on it, absolutely my own fault in every which way. I should have expected it to happen but I was a dumb shit.

...

I can't stop looking at this picture.

Was it?
>Was it?

I've been working as a mechanicfag for about 3 years at a billion dollar company. a master tech. I will be given my own store to run February 1 next year. I don't like cars.


And I fucked my 9 year old sister when I was 8

help me w my computer science homework

I never minded the cutting tbh, but getting past the depression and losing that weight is always good.

how is the horsing going?

> mechanicfag
> And I fucked my 9 year old sister when I was 8

top kek

Good to hear that you're doing well now. I remember jerking off to some of your stuff I think. Good times.

I'm planning on doing something terrible.

nah shes the whore

whatchu need fam

Tried to kill myself about 6 months ago. Over my family breaking up. I just felt lost. I still hate not getting to see my kids everyday. But now I've got a girl I absolutely love and got my head on strait. I just wanted to tell other user it gets better. No matter how helpless it seems it gets better.

like..

Oh absolutely. Bleeding still tickles my peach but I don't wanna have scarring when I finally get the body I've always wanted.

Horsing is good. Currently looking to buy one. Budget is about 5 grand though so it'll take a while to find a good one. Also looking to buy a pond for my feesh. Have 14 goldfish now, all taken from shitty homes
>pic related

Good times indeed. Some days I kind of miss the exhibitionist part of it but, ah well.

You triggered faggot? Sounds like a rant from some sheltered little mammas boy. Go whine about your non-problems to someone who gives a shit spoiled fag.

Mo'

You're talking to a faggot who grew up poorer than dirt idiot. Literally no one gives a shit about some poor nigger in Africa.

Once again, you wanna fix the problem, go to Africa and fix it yourself. Otherwise shut the fuck up and quit being a libcuck.

No it doesn't you're just deluding yourself into thinking it does.
It gets manageable...for a little while
and then eventually it'll all fall to shit again
and again
and again
because a man that can fail and fall
will do so until he can no longer rise
this world will make sure of it
get ready for it to be worse the next time around

can you just...buy a pond? I thought you have to, you know, dig them and line them and shit.

don't worry, though you may have stopped whoring I'll remember the good times.

Will you two shut the fuck up please? I came here for secrets, not you two idiots arguing about whether or not one of you is gay.

But don't you see. Especially my twin, I don't have to worry about all the drama of others who I don't know of their temperament. I'll never be hurt, betrayed, Only pure love. Family is the best if you're as close as we are I can't see the point in seeking another.

Hey, as long as you don't feel the need to get extra friends, and you're happy with them, then go for it

An above ground pond is what I'm referring to. I live in a rental so no chance of digging up the ground. Either gonna do one of those prefab things or just a gigantic container with bars/mesh covering the top to keep 'em safe. My tank just isn't big enough for several single tails to live happily forever

It will get better..... I promise you that.it might fall apart again. But then I will rebuild again. So will you.

Bump

ah yeah, hooking one of them up would do the job. You'd have to be a bit more careful to keep the temperature at the right point and keep a very close eye for leaks, but it's a lot more portable.

Move on. Sounds like she doesn't give a shit about you, and she isn't "the one" if that's true. Find a new chick.

barnacleus nerdgasm?

Yeah there are definitely risks. Was going to use a big old cast iron bath or perhaps a broken spa at some point but those are hard to find here.

Goldfish can survive in water that is frozen on top, they just go dormant. There's no worry of temperatures being too messy for them. Very hardy fish. Plus my fancies are staying inside - especially the one I'm conflicted between naming Lady Penelope and Roller Coaster. Deformed fish. Spins as she swims.

Currently treating my betta and killifish for ich right now though so thoughts are elsewhere. Damn animals.

greentext

I wish my best friend was gay so we could be boyfriends, I'm bigger than him but I still want him to dominate me, I'd be a total bottom unless he wanted otherwise, I want to feel his cum in my ass and throat.

woops meant to reply to

Am brainded.

All the good ones are gone. I'm gonna be alone forever. Might as well an hero

so i gotta do this assignment basically make a pseudocode for a guessing game, I did the work but idk if i did it right? can i just send it here and u can check for me? I fucking hate this class but college is necessary

I used to molest my daughter between the ages of 3-7ish. Wife never found out. Daughter is 12 now. Never mentioned it.

Has it affected her in any obvious way?
Did your wife ever suspect anything? Maybe thought another relative was doing it?

greentext

yeah, some old baths would do the job. cast iron is hard but standard porcelain/plastic are pretty common. if your local council does verge pickups there's usually a bath or two, or you can head down to the local dump and have a look around.

I was thinking more the heat side, where I am it'd be pretty easy to accidentally boil fish in summer

I'm talking to two girls at the same time. Both consider us in a relationship. Both are long distant for now, but for the time being they have to be due to the nature of my work. One I've known for years now. The other is a friend of my best friend, whom both he and his fiance hooked me up with.

Both girls are great people. Love em both. Don't do decisions well. I'm going to see one of them soon, both girls live in Indiana. I'm sure a lot of you guys have probably done shit like this before, but I hate this. It's not my thing. Idk if I should take both out on a date, see which one I like better, and dump the other one, or if that in itself is wrong. I mean, a lot could go wrong there you know?

I'm hiding this second relationship from my best friend, his girl, and of course the other girl. I haven't even SEEN the first girl yet. Not physically, anyhow. Wtf do I do. Do I dump one right now, or later after I decide via the dates? I don't wanna let my friends down or hurt anyone, but I feel like I've gone too far down the rabbit hole for everyone to get out in one piece here.

>Not continuing the molesting
What's wrong with you user.

my secret is i wish i was molested

Mine is that I am the buttzilla, heres proof

vid.me/VQIW#59s

Yeah I'll definitely be open to everything when I get around to looking for one. At the moment I found a ~500L pond for $220 on my local trading site. Not too shabby but then add the filter on top of that and we're easily coming up $1000+. Will take time.

Oh hell no man. My goldfish live in sub-tropical water right now due to their tankmates (temporary nonsense, rescues etc). Rarely gets above 77F here. Not even mad, heat is horrible imo.

I have a tattoo on my leg that I've kept a bandaid on top of for a year now. Parents will kill me. Got it after fraternity initiation. Been pouring TCA acid on it every month or so since July. Almost gone. I'm pretty much perfect other than that. Oh and I own a gun that no one really knows about.

You haven't seen the first girl? Big red flag right there. Unless she's willing to show you what she looks like, you're probably getting catfished. Stick to the one you've already seen and know is worth it.

I've been incredibly depressed and I'm just now realizing it. Someone brought up the point that with a few exceptions I'm a complete shut in. A co-worker asked me "So what else do you do?" and I didn't have an answer. I sit at home, browse the internet, play the occasional vidya, tinker with my hobby, and sleep. I only have like two friends, and I see them MAYBE once a week.

The lack of social life isn't what bothers me, it's the fact that I have a complete lack of drive. The hardest part of my day is getting up in the morning because I enjoy sleeping way more than I do being awake. I read and immerse myself in fiction(pic related recently) because I can't bring myself to get motivated to do anything. No matter how much I want to, I just can't motivate myself.

I don't know what to do anymore. Funny enough, the comic my picture is from is what really made me realize all this. It just made me realize that my life will probably never be worth living, but I still don't want to end it.

Help.

I still love her...

Eh we've skyped and shit, and its also the girl my friends set me up with. Good friends to my friend's fiance. I doubt I'd be catfished there, but I am leaning to the girl I know a bit more.

Oh I see, I thought you meant you hadn't seen the one you'd known for longer. Nvm

Well.. I wouldn't consider it wrong to go on a date with both of them. You're not exclusive or in some kind of serious commitment with either of them realistically. Better to spend some time with both of them and make the choice that is best for you.

>We allhave secrets. What is yours?

1. Momcest fetish

2. Racist as hell

3. If my sibling dies before my parents my inheritance will be MUCH larger . . I half hope it happens.

4. I stalked the shit out of a hot teacher with obscene phone calls, drive bys, and even visted her house in Halloween costume.

5. After years of fapping with
- grip many times tighter than a pussy
- pump many times faster than a hip thrust
- edging to prolong the fun
- focusing on the sweet spot the way a hole can't
. . . when I get pussy it feels like fucking a bucket of warm water.

If you have low sex drive: eat pomaganites

Is this serious advice? I've had zero sex drive for a good year or so now and its made my relationship so shit.

I'm trying mangos in my bf atm. Will try that next if it doesn't work

>I'm a high school senior
Move on. In less than a year you'll be in so much new pussy you won't know what to do.

Try the grapefruit technique.

Make longtime goals in stuff you like, maybe even find new stuff that could interest you. As long you can keep yourself motivatated following this goal. Best are things that dont force you to do stuff if you dont want to (fixed times or the need to be always there) something you can do in your spare time / you can pause doing for a while for something else.

i hate my gf of 3 years but im too much of a pussy to break up with her so i keep on hitting on other women behind her back

hot

I find girls 9-11 years old sexually attractive.

Don't need any advice. I need to see $$$ put into holo-technology research.

Okay my little secret is I look for a cum slur everything I work out of town and sleeping g in a hotel 3. Nights out of the week.

>I've had zero sex drive for a good year or so now and its made my relationship so shit.

You need to see a doctor for this.

It could be many things, but you have a problem and so should be checked.

Could be low T.
Could be depression.
Could be nutritional deficiency.
Could be a religious upbringing.
Could be apathy or disdain for your partner.

Point is that there MIGHT be an underlying medical issue that needs resolution. Don't think that doctors haven't heard that problem a hundred times or will judge you . . . it happens frequently and could be a simple fix.

You and me both user. I fucking hate the urges I get. It always hits when I'm in s crowded area and I try not to do or say anything stupid.

But holo technology would save my ass.

I saw my friend get shot in the face.

So pomegranate mango and grapefruits? I'll just make him a big smoothie of them all mixed up.

Well I have a little hobby that keeps me entertained. I basically work so I can 1: afford to live, 2: save money, and 3: buy more shit for said hobby. Dont get me wrong, it's not something that feels like an obligation or a chore, it's something I legitimately like.

But lately it's just felt like I'm passing the time with it, not really pursuing anything meaningful. There's no adventure to my life. No danger, no mystery. I've completely lost my drive to find another girlfriend as well. It's not that I'm afraid of rejection; the sex and intimacy is nice, but in the end it's just money -> companionship.

nah, go with the avocado method or the kale conspiracy

>I'm trying to get over this girl I like, but every time I see her, I'm reminded that I love her. She's nothing special, but there is something I like about her that I could never find out. It's like I found the one. However, I know she hates me. What do, anons?

You have two strategies

1. Keep pursuing her
2. Pursue other women

#1 has very low chance of success.
#2 has two advantages
> first, you'll care less about your obsession
> second, letting her see you with other women will increase the odds that she'll actually like you

Women are extraordinarily vulnerable (by male standards) to groupthink. Even in things like mass-hysteria (aka conversion disorder) women are FAR more likey than men to suffer it -- so much more in fact that one clue that a health scare is psychological is if women suffer it in ratios of 3:1 or greater.

Therefore, when your crush sees you dating other, preferably hotter women, she will start to feel attraction for you.

Or you fill your days with dating other women that will lessen your crush and help you move on.

In your position I'd also probably be looking at old water-holding containers (firefighting rigs, plant watering gear, small househole water tanks). You'd have to chop it up a bit, but an old tin tank would just need a liner to be good to go.

hard to beat a $220 price point tho when you consider transport and labor

yo should i be a whore to get laid and get experience and shit? or should i continue having morals and only fuck guys who genuinely value me as a person? there must be something cool about fucking someone you dont give a shit about but what is it????

Keep fucking guys who value you and give a shit about your person. No one enjoys the town bicycle for a conversation.

Thanks for that, really. I'm glad at least someone doesn't think its a weird tactic. Haven't told anyone else of my situation, so it got some off my chest. That was my initial plan of attack. I'll see how it goes!

>Got it after fraternity initiation.
Was it worth it?
What are your thoughts on hazing?

I was hazed a lot. It's worth it because a lot of pledges are retard normies who think they're the shit. Hazing levels you and makes you realize you're not a fucking hot shot. Definitely worth it. Most fun I'll never want to have again.

depends what you're into m8.

I've tried the casual sex thing, but not really into it. Sex isn't really interesting unless it's somebody I give a shit about in some way.

experience is good but it matters less than attitude and enthusiasm. even if you don't build up much experience, you get involved with the right attitude and you'll be fine.

I shat my pants until I was 10..
d-don't ask

pbs.org/food/the-history-kitchen/10-edible-aphrodisiacs/
> in 2011, a small study by Queen Margaret University in Edinburgh found that drinking pomegranate juice daily lowered cortisol levels, which can correspond with increased testosterone in both men and women. Elevated testosterone can lead to heightened moods and increased sexual desire.
>That said, the study was funded in part by a brand called Pomegreat, so take the results with a grain of salt.

schizophrenia is a bitch

>Checked
Trips spoken user, go for it.