H-hello Anonymous!

Alice is a dirty fucking spammer. EXPOSED!

I like your knives Alice :3

What tea are we drinking

Hey, Alice how are you? Whats in the menu?

I would like a picture of that cute girl-cock!

stop making this thread mrs skeleton please you keep spooking me

psychology is a retarded psuedoscience
just like you're a retarded psuedofemale

I just failed my VORT test.
Have to wait two weeks before I can try again.

Y-yeah, not at all t-true.

Oh d-dear! L-let me pour you some tea...

Toasting in Alice bread~

...

Why the fuck dont you show cock you huge homo?

Also, I like the tea set.

Tits?

whatever you say you retarded faggot.

Thank you, a cup of tea would be lovely.

You're so fucking cute. t. chat

Ha! FAGGOT! I passed that test on the first fucking try! Git Gud

Alice is for _____________

report button

You're the one wanting to see cock :^)

It w-went quite w-well!

I l-lack that equipment, s-sorry!

Hello! I'm q-quite well, you?

Hello!

H-how are you?

W-what would you like?

*waves*

report button

THAT ABSOLUTE TERRITORY GOD DAMN

A maid for a maid! Bumping!

Hi, Alice. How are you?

...

T-thank you, I cherish it a lot

Maid alice is best Alice how are you today?

stop sucking so much dick

Had a therapist tell me pretty much everything you've ever told me today, and she sounds kinda ready and able to help me deal with my billion pounds of baggage, so that's kinda nice.

What's on the menu today?

Stop sucking so much dick user, you go blind that way

You draw those faces of just print them out.

Something light. Salad maybe

Alice who are you voting for and why is it Trump

Apathetic. Days pass by so quickly and are filled with so many unimportant things that feel important in the moment, life just gets away from you.

I agree.... tits....

did you get kicked out of /cgl/ for having too shitty of a wig?
or are you trying to validate yourself because you're such a disappointment to your parents?

T-todays tea is Zen, j-just like me

Allo, Alice.

I'm pretty happy, I'm making good progress towards making my Subaru WRX back to the condition I'd like it in. The driver's window was stuck about 1 cm down, and that's been fixed. I managed to get it all the way up where it will stay until I decide to replace the window motor.

I've hired a maid to clean my house because my roommates have kids and can barely keep up with them, which leaves the house a mess.

I'm frustrated with my roommate who stays at home, for being a layabout and not keeping on top of the kids, instead just sitting on his ass playing video games. His wife tries, but basically working 2 jobs, she can't keep on top of everything.

I'm going up to full time in my job delivering pizzas, so I'm pretty happy about that. Means more money to sort things out with.

yo, having no reason to live is not the same as having a reason to die. that said, I have no reason to live.

I could use some tea, it's getting cold over in Canada!

fucking faggot
kek

Cool

Hey all! just a based memer sitting on my chair staring depressed into a screen.

Hey Alice. My girlfriend broke up with me today, and I'm kind of a mess. Hope you're having a better day than I am.

Oh, that reminds me. I'm going on a date with a guy tomorrow. Going out for sushi. Should be fun. Hopefully it goes well.

J-just some tea

youtube.com/watch?v=XwZ6hBwTogg
Kill yourself then faggot

i'm mad because you should be shitposting in /trash/ or /s4s/ where you belong.

Ive been lacking on my training. But im fine.

Hello there Alice, thanks for linking me!
Hello everyone, I hope you're doing ok, ans, if not, we can always talk about it!

What reason would you like? You can pick any one you like, Anonymous.

What do you want to do with your life?

P-plenty to go around, Horo

are you a fucking trap?

can i have a little bit less text stuttering

I guess. They'll come once weekly, but to keep up the housecleaning, might have to increase it to twice weekly. The maid came just last week, and the house is already a fucking disaster.

I'll say

why haven't you killed yourself today?

So are you going to show tits?

i remember when Cred Forums's celebrated girls were actually girls.

It is? How?

or attractive

*laughs softly* I've b-been posting here as Alice for five years. This is my home, and where I belong

Wait this is a real thing? You mean you aren't a gay faggot in a dress but an actual chick? Did Hell freeze over too?

Hey, nice to see you again... Could you make some silly dance for me, Alice?

I miss when people didn't post pictures of Faye on Cred Forums

5 years wow such an oldfag.
fuck off literal reddit.

Why do people eat when they are not hungry? how do you get people to stop eating if they are not hungry?

literal reddit

>horo

Holo, bro. It's fucking Holo.

You just wait ill train hard after i get out of work.

yes thats what i said thank you for reiterating

you need to get laid

Well, life does suck indeed, althoigh I don't have any reason to live, I don't really have any good reason to die, so until then, I'm stuck here with you. Why are YOU alive?

R-really? Cracky c-chan did something for you?

To each his or her own, I guess.

W-what do you mean how?

More webms Alice Pls

vocaroo.com/i/s0wA0Xf9UnLv

I noticed your stuttering. Did something happen?

I've had a rough day, can I please have some tea, cutie?

Hey Alice, what's up?

Holy fucking cringe

Alice, do you have fun doing these threads?

You sound like the nosleepaudio guy

Hi, I broke my wrist and have to go to physical therapy for a month.

During that time I'm not allowed to jack it.

What do?

faggotry.
a horrible cancer riddled disease.

Become an hero

I've got 2 roommates, and they have two kids, one about 8 and one like 2, and the roommate that stays at home doesn't do more than the bare minimum of keeping track of them to make sure they don't die. As a result, none of their toys get cleaned up and even though he's home literally all day, none of the rest of the house ever gets cleaned up, until his wife, my other roommate, has time at home on the weekends to clean up, which she usually doesn't have energy for due to working 2 jobs. I'm incredibly frustrated because it's not my mess, and I've had to take responsibility for it (by hiring a maid) and at the same time, I have to watch the kids and make sure they're not getting into my shit that I have to leave in the common area (example: food I've left in the kitchen fridge has previously been destroyed when a child left the fridge door open and the dog went through the food)

I'm very frustrated.

You blew me off last time, cunt.
Now...
Answer me...

I wish more people did shit like this on Cred Forums. People used to but all these edgelords that now reside on Cred Forums scared them away

and I thought Im the only one on the world watching the oldest south park seasons.
Season 3 is my favorite tho.

J-just nervous is all

vocaroo.com/i/s0JggqTb4Yeu
t-tehe

Boxing!! I found my stregth there but recently i havent had time to go to the gym.but i do Alot of running, jump rope, hitting the bag, shadow boxing, and sweating.

So does it, er she have a cock?

No.

Do you have one you can recommend?

I mean that it's a huge waste of time. All those stupid little intangible things, favors for people, drama of some kind or another, etc is just shit. Even just a year from now, that stuff won't matter to me and yet I spend all day every day on those things.

wow dude where can i follow your fucking blog you retarded cunt

The jabronis threads were like this. They were banished to another realm. It was what the board wanted. And so it goes.

Oh god that was creepy af

You could always look for a new roommate in your area. There's always rooms for rent somewhere user

Answer me you fucking nigger.

>vocaroo.com/i/s0wA0Xf9UnLv
dude you have the most rapiest voice, record some rape lines from animus

>N-not particularly

Alice, you are the best! Thanks for the tea!

*blinks and rests her chin on her hand*

Who owns the house or is the head on the lease?

Alice, can I have a hug? If not, some tea will suffice.

You can find more like this on reddit.
That's where you really belong anyway.

What the fuck richard!?

Dat shit dont work fam

youtube.com/watch?v=xb5ik46_5RA
Yuou need to calm down. Listen to the music in the link.

What in the literal fuck are you talking about

I failed my US History test Alice, What Do?

kill self

I'm paying $350/mo for space in a house a mile from my city's downtown. The location is about as good as I could possibly ask for, and I don't think I could find a better place for a similar price. Also, I just got moved in. I don't want to fucking move again. It's a pain in the ass.

My female roommate's mother.

Hello Alice what would you suggest to stop smoking, my lungs feel pretty shitty already

Are you going to post tits Alice?

I'm n-not easily scared

Playing dumb ya lil cunt?

No faggot, when reddit did the subreddit purge, all the fucking edgelords migrated here.
The fact that you even brought up reddit like that leads me to believe yo are from reddit and migrated here no less then two years ago

...

It's on tumblr. Just search the tags for #completely_serious and you'll find it.

It was obvious that it wasn't you before I even considered listening to it.

*wraps her arms around you from behind and rests her head on your back as she squeezes you* M-my pleasure, Anonymous

youtube.com/watch?v=xb5ik46_5RA
Listen to the music in the link and calm down so you can regain a little composure.

Tits?

Does playing psychiatrist to a bunch of beta orbiters on Cred Forums help you feel better about your own mental issues, of which you clearly have several?

>No faggot, when reddit did the subreddit purge, all the fucking edgelords migrated here.
and how would you know that, king reddit?
the irony is big

You don't think it's a waste? You wouldn't look down on someone who gets caught up in those things and achieves less as a result?

This.

Alice, I want a big warm hug! Pleaseeeee

its alright, it gets better my nigga

faggot nigger

I was on Cred Forums when you refugees busted out boarders and set up shop

What kind of fucking degenerate makes a thread like this? Holy jesus fuckballs you must be one messed up motherfucker

Are you going to waste our time or are you going to post tits?

Everyone has their healing methods i think

so like 2 days ago?
fuck off newfag

There are not tits.

dude its the attention seriously think about it, shes the only girl that gets away with it without posting her tits, first since boxxy

Alice's mental issues are the least of your problems. Wait, why am I defending Alice?

Hey Alice, could you post some more pics of yourself?

H-hey, Alice

It's a man, man.

Is it n-not possible for them to enforce some standard of rules?

I'd r-recommend trying CBD; it's a p-pretty potent anti-anxiety medication and h-has found much success in r-replacing nicotine.

S-sorry, I would never pretend to be a psychiatrist.

They are real doctors, with MD's, and I 100% am not a doctor, nor do I wish to be.

S-some people live more in 20 years than others d-do in 80; there is no one right way to live, and it isn't n-necessarily the time n-nor how it is spent that matters.

N-no!

*kisses your cheek*

T-takes one to know one, Anonymous

Only newfags call people newfags. Did you not learn that last summer?
I'd advise you to lurk more

>shes the only girl that gets away with it without posting her tits, first since boxxy
that's not even remotely true newfag
these beta cucks respond to literally anything somewhat feminine.

Forgot pic.

>only newfags call people newfags
>implies newfaggotry
ironing continues

Sauce on trap, pls.

can you help me figure out why you haven't killed yourself yet?

It's why trap threads are so popular

*Turns my head to kiss your lips* haha

I love you, Alice.

Ill like to become the world champ that way i can help my family and my community. I was poor once but ive work hard to enought money to be considred middle class. Plus i get to use my anger and strength the rightway and not hurt innocent people.

thats a dude...

If my landlord had a problem with my roommates laving the house a mess all the time, she would have already made a stink about it. The most I hope for right now is that my sister coming into town for a couple weeks can get my roommate off his ass and actually getting shit done.

>*Turns my head to kiss your lips* haha
i want to get off this ride

>ironing
You aren't very good at this, the least you could do is make a show of it. Just saying the same thing over and over again is asinine

What the fuck ricardo!?

S-sorry, but attention is n-not what I want here

Heya Alice, can I have some tea?.. And maybe a hug too?

great counter argument chap

Mr.Bones' ride never ends.

Tits and a timestamp cunt

lol this is an actual person

can you fix my crippling depression and constant suicidal thoughts? :D

I fell down a few flights of stair and broke an arm and a nose. From there I was rushed to the hospital and the only person that showed up within the next 12 hours was my ex-Girlfriend who I hate with a fucking burning passion. With flowers and shit like I was dying. I had to deal with her for like 3 hours. Now with a broke arm and I cant even do easy shit like write, eat or play video games and shit. RIP my Social life for the next month and a half. Where do I even go from here? If no one showed up the first day but her does it mean everyone hates me? I fucking wrote this all with my shitty left hand that still works.

What do you see user?

Absolutely

Dude, you need help.

>S-sorry, I would never pretend to be a psychiatrist.

I'm sorry, are you not the same Alice who starts (used to start?) the regularly scheduled "Ask a psychiatrist anything" threads? Or did you stop labeling them as such because people kept calling you out on your armchair psychiatry?

Also you didn't answer my question.

Was never meant to be a counter argument

Just read through the thread and it made me want to kms even more than I already do. Thanks!

You haven't helped anyone on Cred Forums
Hugbox discussions are proven not to fucking work, just look at furries, bronies, and/or any other autist-positive community.
I've saved my best friends life through tough love. what the literal fuck have you done?
you're disgusting and what you perpetuate is disgusting.

Are y-you in treatment, Anonymous? How old are y-you, how are you feeling?

Tell me everything. I'm here for you.

What the fuck ricardo richardson!?

>Implying you need to show your face to both get attention or be an attention whore.

Thank you Alice, you always make my days a little brighter.

>S-sorry, but attention is n-not what I want here I don't show my face because I am NOT an attention whore.

You keep telling yourself that

Chihuahua with a gun in its mouth

Why are people so mean in these threads?

What the guck richard!?

Alice has helped me numerous times, I don't know where you've been, but there are always a few people that pop in to say thanks

I see two dogs tearing apart a little girl.
Fuck.

>Women

Riiiight ISPs that where true you already would have shown your tits.

>I'd r-recommend trying CBD; it's a p-pretty potent anti-anxiety medication and h-has found much success in r-replacing nicotine.

Can i get CBD without a prescription or should i ask my doctor?

Can we get a book recommendation from this QT waifu?

This is absolutely incorrect. Alice has helped me through a great deal recently. She's a sweetheart. Dick or no Dick.

What the fuck richard!?

Gotta go to work now. See you later Alice youre pretty awesome. *Hugs*

I s-started "ask a psychologist" threads

>Riiiight ISPs that where true you already would have shown your tits.

What?

I've been in treatment for going on 4 years, I'm 16 and how am I feeling? Obviously I want to off myself, duh :P

I don't care what you are. But you served some tea with a maid uniform. That's all I need in this life.

...

will you help me with my endless spiral of depression?

What in the actual fuck richard!?

I honestly see a pelvis bone...what does it mean?

Alice? Can you answer this for me, pretty please?

Richard

I d-do my best.

T-thank you, I will ISPS that where true

There is so much wrong with this statement that I can barely parse it.

D-depends on your location; consult local laws. It is usually legal if sourced from THC-free hemp oil.

*hugs tightly* H-have a good day at work!

From a Buick 8 or Metro 2033

I just want to see his dick.

Hi

RICHARDDDDD

I suppose you're not going to record a short hello for me, are you?

I think i am in love with the person you are on here.

where did it all go so wrong for me?

Imagine in the future where Cred Forums gets shut down by an obvious combined forum board like reddit/twiter/google with millions of users in the next 20 years. what do we have to represent this place? this fucking weaboo pretending to be an anime character, stuttering and feeding some low lives devoid of emotion.

Psychology studies are about as accurate and meaningful as you are.

Which is not very in case you were wondering, champ.

...

Ah... Thanks, Alice. I guess I've been worrying too much about my time wasting away.

A knight with wings, What do you think it means nigger?

Get someone to download every season of south park, then binge them all. Have a good time ;)

Alice, how do I deal with being replaced in my life? It feels like everyone I know moves on and finds someone better. Thoughts?

You were born.

Oh the trips, you may allsuck my dick richards

It means you're all fucked in the head

>Buick 8
Isn't that just Christine?

Alice doesn't love you back, sorry.