So I got something I need to get out, and I don't know where else I can do this

So I got something I need to get out, and I don't know where else I can do this.

When I was but a wee lil kid, my dad would always tell me the same thing anytime I attempted something. "As long as you try your best, I will always be proud of you."

When I came in second in a martial arts tournament, "You did your best, user. I'm proud of you."

Whenever I advanced a rank in Boy Scouts, "I am so proud of you user, you are doing your best and it shows."

As I grew into the man I am today, those words are what helped to shape me and my work ethic.

About two years ago, my dad had a stroke. Complete paralysis in his left side.

The first few months, my dad recovered well. He was in the hospital, and he hated it, but the docs told him if he could get to where he could walk on his own he could leave. So he dedicated himself to his rehab, and within three months he was walking with a cane, and moving his arm again. His speech was no longer slurred. He was well on his way back to the man I looked up to as a child.

And then he got home.

My mother did her best to take care of him, to help encourage him to do his rehab exercises, but after about a month out of the hospital, he stopped. And he started getting worse again. He stopped walking, instead just rolling around in a wheelchair. He started hurting himself because he wasn't watching his left side and running into shit.

My mom put him into a nursing home because he stopped trying. She still visits him twice a week, and I try to visit him. But I fucking can't.

The man who encouraged me to always put forth my best effort is gone. The man that lives in that fucking wheelchair is not the same man. Whenever I go to visit him, I see what he is now and I fucking taste acid on my tongue.

My mother and I are watching his shell waste away into nothing. She told me she won't be surprised when she gets the call that he is dead. At this point neither will I.

Feels/confessions thread, I guess. I just needed to type this shit out.

"As long as you try your best, I will always be proud of you."

I'm not reading all of that. shorten it up a bit

Tl;dr fuck you . read it, aint gonna spoon feed u

Damn bro, that shit hits home. I'm sorry user. I got a call today that for the first time my whole life my healthy AF dad had BP that was 156 over 88...which is bad for a guy in his late 50's I guess....then later it was fine....maybe it was just the machine?

I don't know. I hope so. But it scared the fuck out of me because I'm 25 bro, but I still ain't shit without my dad. Thinking of my dad being gone terrifies me bro, I would do something scary if he was gone, I'd lose it bro.

I'm serious. I think I'd lose it. I'd be on the streets within a few months.

You good for nothing faggot, read it or else we won't be proud of you.

If you are not with him each day you are not trying your best user. Fix that, you given up at least he has a reason

Yo OP, it's me again, same guy...so did your dad like lose his personality? What do you guys talk about when you go there? What does he do all day now?

Like have you ever wondered that maybe it's very difficult for him to keep fighting the inevitable? What if it's like physically immensely tiring bro? You don't know just how bad it is maybe?

Be there for him I think. I think he'll appreciate it like you were there for him. Now I'm not saying you should be there for him all day every day. But at least once a week bring him some good food and hang with him for a few hours, watch some funny shows, make him laugh bro. Trust me, please make him happy for even a little bit that you have left with him.

Try not to focus on the bad side of it man...I understand he gave up, but maybe he's tired of fighting user. Look at the bright side of things, you still have him.

Yeah, maybe if user tries and sees him more often maybe he'll start fighting again. Maybe he just took a break from it all, but he'll find the courage to fight again if user dedicates himself a bit.

My best friend/brother got brain cancer witch moved to his spine . I would have moved mountains for him. Every night he was at the hospital I was there. Both of us sharing one plate during each meal. When he had seizures I was there, when he got home I was there each night, when he was dieing I was there , when he couldn't eat or drink I was there rubbing a damp ray on his lips and gum I was fucking there, and two days before he died he said he loved me. Never said that my whole life with him yet there it was and it was worth it ALL. he was my best friend , this is your dad. MAN THE FUCK UP FAGGET