Worst/best pickup lines thread

Worst/best pickup lines thread

>Hey, babe, I'm trash.
>Wanna take me out?

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youtube.com/watch?v=zuUtAWtbVHo
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>My dick died
>Can I bury it in your ass?

>Does this smell like chloroform?

checked

>ay gurl are you retarded?
>cuz youre special

chloroform doesnt work that efficiently, it takes a solid five minutes or so of breathing it in for the subject to pass out
scopolamine or isoflurane should do the trick though

Worst:
Best: I have a lot of money. Let's fuck!

Are you wearing F5 pants?

Cause that ass is refreshing

Did it Hurt?
What?
Your pussy after I fucked you when you passed out last night.

Works every time.

I can't believe I actually laughed to this.

I like "are you sitting on an F5 key?" better

I wish you was my pinky toe girl.

So I could bang you on every piece of furniture.

Are your pants a compressed file?

Cause I'd love to unzip them?

Here's my number. Call me if your'e into date-rape.

i feel like this is so retarded it might actually work lol

>hey I'm not a weather man but you can expect a few inches tonight

>Hey babe wanna start dating
>Because Cred Forums is closing soon :(

Ever been fucked by a 12 inch dick?

No....

I have!

>Does this smell like chloroform to you?

This isn't a pickup line but it is something you can do for valentines day which I think is the best if you have a nerdy / smart girlfriend.

Take two strips of paper about.. eh, I wanna say 20-24 inches long and make two Mobius Strips for her. Explaining
>See, this one is a left facing mobius strip and this one is a right facing mobius strip.
>They're mirror images of each other, and 4th dimensional shapes. They have one side and one edge but they're 3D.

tape one of the mobius strips at a 90 degree angle to the other on top.

>But when they come together in just the right way you see

Start cutting the first mobius strip all the way round through the middle

>And they're both willing to work together and give and take

Start cutting the second mobius strip the same way, through the middle

>Something beautiful can happen

Untangle the paper and reveal two interlinked hearts.

Give her a kiss and tell her you love her.

Instant win.

>retard speak on purpose
>proper spelling of you're

hmmm...

Do you need a STUD in your life?

Cause I got the STD and all I need is U. Zozzle

youtube.com/watch?v=zuUtAWtbVHo

I wasn't aware of this video, I learned this through fucking around with mobius loops but yeah, here's a step by step how:to for it.

You wanna go halfsies on a baby?

Plz god no...

Are you from Tennessee? Cus ur the only 10 I see.

Works for me every time

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'd like to dump a load in you

>are you a beaver?
>cus DAAAAAAAMMMMMNN

Stop lying Sean