Why are Americans not capable of appreciating the beautiful game?

wow bayern is the champion again, how beautiful and balanced wow such sport wow

Because a quirk of history and geography meant that America developed a different sporting culture.

>says the bong

>waking up at 5 am to watch 22 men roll around on the ground for 90 minutes
>mlels

To be fair lad about sixty percent of big games are absolute fucking shit.

i didn't know you were a follower of sharia, my dark-skinned friend

12%-action-45%-commercial-ball on the otherhand is very exciting.

even with the miniscule amount of actual game action, yes it is much more entertaining

It's gay

because i really wanted to fall asleep in the middle of the day

If i wanted to watch men struggle to score for 99 min i would just take you all to the bar.

Reasons why soccer is shit
>field is to big
>to many players on the field
>stop the damn clock and run it the right way
>all the flopping, which should be a penalty
>allow hits
>offsides needs revision
>get rid of ties

>Too many leagues/championships
>make penalties a power play like in /hoc/
>Put up walls on the out of bounds so the ball stays in play

Americans are simply not classy enough unlike us Europeans. They dont have the grandeur and culture for it. You can see it from their music,food and video games they love explosions,a lot of shouting,macho niggers,Super Large size everything must be BIG.

>>make penalties a power play like in /hoc/

The MLS had this in the 90s but they stopped doing it because it became too predictable.
Also, they did it whenever a game tied and not just at knockout games which ruined it.

you're pretty much describing futsal

Then futsal>soccer

>bong
>European

U wot Nigel?

This

Objectively incorrect

not enough commercials, black men and off-the-field soap opera-tier scandals

this is what americans are all about, we can't give this to them

lol le brexit meme ;^]

>not enough
>black men

Now now Germany. Let's not lie here.

2bh it's weird that there aren't majority blacks like in amerimeme sports since only like 8% of the world is white and a lot more are black.
But then again all chinks and indians are also shit at football.

well, our teams have like 2-3 blacks (which is like 10-15%) on average, that's not enough for the americucks who are used to seeing their sports teams being 90% black

I suppose this is the reason so many yanks like watching Arsenal?

This

it all makes sense now

Brainwashing by baby boomers. I love footie t b h. Also, it's ridiculously expensive to play the beautiful game as a kid in the US, only white kids with money can afford it

>"Players who are under 15 and want to compete at a high level need to impress in a tryout and then their parents need to shell out between $1,000 to $1,500 per year. Every coach has a story about a talented kid who disappeared suddenly, probably due to financial issues or a lack of parental support."

theguardian.com/football/2016/mar/16/why-cant-america-develop-a-soccer-star
theguardian.com/football/blog/2016/jun/01/us-soccer-diversity-problem-world-football

Omar Gonzalez couldn't afford club soccer and only got to play because a teammate's parents paid his fees. No chance in hell he is where he is now if that doesn't happen

What if I told you they fill 100k seats stadiums to watch universities play handegg against each other?

see

This is why 2018 Russia was a mistake. It should belong to the US.

>American's feeling relevant in a WC for once
>Pulisic being the obvious talisman and main man of the team, making it easier for normies to understand and kids to look up to
>probably end up doing well thanks to more teams playing
>probably get BTFO in RO16/QF by Belgium

The 94' WC did great for the US but we need one more WC hosted there for it to truly settle in.

why the fuck should we care if americans care about football or not?

their loss

>$1,000 to $1,500 per year.
Why? Who is charging this?

Surely just play well for your shitty team with no facilities and a scout will pick you up. Everyone wins.

You expect a 20 year old pul-i-sick to be a leader?

Set-piece sports like advertegg literally bore me to tears.

americans must have the attention span of a goldfish if football bores them

agreed on the flopping and hits desu

Football used to be more physical back in the day. PLayer safety and all that changed it.

I don't know what everyone's talking about, I love soccer. You can't buy a better nap.

Our league is shit and it was impossible to find games until a few years ago.

The bigger question is why is everyone so concerned about what sports we watch?

So fucking what? Football and football are gay.

>field is too big
How much of a fatass are you? It's the same length as an American football field and little wider.

You underestimate how little people care about soccer in the US. That would be true for football, basketball, and hell, maybe even lacrosse, but soccer just isn't taken nearly as seriously. Mainly because no one cares at a collegiate level, I think.

A small portion of americans like Soccer, but MLS is piss poor, and EPL is on way too early for us to watch

Most interest for non-standard fans comes during WC qualifiers or if we're playing mexico

Yeah but there are still local youth teams right? They can't cost that much to run.

You'd be surprised. I ran in a cross-country club from the age of 12-18 and the fees were supposed to be $800 per year for running, but I was poor as fuck and had it subsidized by someone. No idea who or what entity, but yeah.

>anno domini MMXVI
>multiball is still not a thing

>$800 per year for running
running is free la

unless you have to rent the land to run on to avoid getting shot for trespassing

The only reason anyone likes soccer is for the nationalism, rioting, and because your impoverished asses have nothing better to do than practice kicking a ball around in fancy ways.

Apart from that it's a boring sport where defense is given a huge advantage for no reason and whichever team is winning just sits around kicking the ball back and forth. The rules incentivize lame high variance play where nothing is accomplished for 90% of the game.

American soccer fag here. It is slowly growing and MLS and minor league attendance keeps rising

local youth leagues are just babysitting. parents drop off their kids for an hour to get them out of the house.

the "serious" youth teams are just pay to play scams.

>tfw I was a lanky AYSO scrub
>tfw some 5'2 manlet with better coordination got put on the travel team

>local youth teams
>run by the parent that drew the short straw

Also parents like their kids to play soccer because contributing to the team is more abstract than in other sports. A game like baseball your offensive contribution is obvious since all eyes are on you and some kids will go a whole season without doing anything and be pathetic. Soccer the kid could be total dogshit but since some positions aren't goal scoring the parents can just say good job kiddo and the kid can feel good about themselves

>american education

this DESU if your kid is any good he can go from AYSO to high school to college no problem. I think the most money my mom spent on soccer outside of AYSO was like $80 for a 3 day winter camp during a school break

the only reason you watch divegrass is that you were born in western yurop. if you were born say in australia you sure as shit would not watch this boring ass sport. sawker is not an inherently interesting sport

ami go home

hmmm sounds like capitalism isn't working lads

Give out red cards for diving and embellishment. Shorten the field. Maybe it will be watchable.

narrowing the field would make things more exciting than shortening the field.

They're actually making arrangements for a professional futsal league. It might be cool.

the futsal world cup is on right now I believe

>field is to big
What's your point? Why is this shit?

>to many players on the field
Again, why is this shit? You want to reduce the field size and player amount? This isn't basketball.

>stop the damn clock and run it the right way
Stopping the game is terrible for a spectator. No matter how much you Americans like it.

>all the flopping, which should be a penalty
I agree.

>allow hits
You want people hacking eachother in the legs? Pretty fucking stupid.

>offsides needs revision
I agree

>get rid of ties
Would not work in a seasonal table format and ultimately makes the whole season more boring (not necessarily the individual game)

it works great at promoting the 8 sports we care about more than soccer

>Stopping the game is terrible for a spectator
the game is stopped anyway, just because the clock is running as a guy is writhing on the ground in pain doesn't mean the game is still going on. keeping the clock running just encourages shady timewasting tactics.

Who cares though? I would rather watch a team timewaste for a few seconds than the whole match stopped every now and then. Games where the referee is shit and stops the match for every foul are painful to watch. I can't imagine this being the norm, it would be so fucking bad.

Because all these people would rather watch handegg or boreball because they are uncivilized swines

Get rid of ties. 10-15min overtime, then if still tied shootout.

Revise off offside rules, seriously only hockey has offsides and they need to get rid of it too.

Reviewable plays / penalties. Calling / missing a handball or BS dive giving or missing a free penalty kick is dumb. It's 2016 review that shit, how are the ref's just not in the mafia's pocket?

Handle the play clock better. Or last 10 minutes impose a clock stoppage for out of bounds / penalties. Player's can milk the clock at the end and it's infuriating.

Underrated.

the game isn't still going dumbass, it stops for every penalty, goal, offsides etc. keeping the clock running doesn't speed up the game or improve the flow, it just fools idiots like you into thinking the game is more "fluid" or "natural"

>Get rid of ties. 10-15min overtime, then if still tied shootout.

In the league, no. But it happens in Cup and Knockout Comps. 2 15 minute halves and if no winner A.E.T then it goes to a shootout.

>Revise off offside rules, seriously only hockey has offsides and they need to get rid of it too.

Further elaborate.

>Reviewable plays / penalties. Calling / missing a handball or BS dive giving or missing a free penalty kick is dumb. It's 2016 review that shit, how are the ref's just not in the mafia's pocket?

They should do replays similar to Rugby.

>Handle the play clock better. Or last 10 minutes impose a clock stoppage for out of bounds / penalties. Player's can milk the clock at the end and it's infuriating.

Some do, some dont its a matter of who got paid.

there is no sport out there that lets you review penalties. either the referee sees it in realtime or else he doesnt. retroactively calling penalties after watching a replay is total bullshit.

>Why are Americans not capable of appreciating
SOCCER
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>It's gay

FIRST REPLY BEST REPLY
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>Games where the referee is shit and stops the match for every foul are painful to watch. I can't imagine this being the norm, it would be so fucking bad.

Everytime some deplorable Soccer-dweeb states this, this is pretty much my reply.

>the game isn't still going dumbass, it stops for every penalty, goal, offsides etc. keeping the clock running doesn't speed up the game or improve the flow, it just fools idiots like you into thinking the game is more "fluid" or "natural"

Funny thing is, they will still argue it.

nice dubs

Its easier to put as an example the final of Milan just to point out how crappy is murican "culture"

USA:
youtube.com/watch?v=jUsMOtJox7w

Europa:

youtube.com/watch?v=n3DdBKIITT0

Enjoy your plastic games new worlders

There's not enough black bulls in it so it makes it harder for me to envision any of the players fucking my wife.

I'd really hoped this would be the first reply.

this
also, no unnecessary amounts of brain damage so I can't relate

>footie

remove yourself from the continent, sir

It's fun to play, not so much to watch. Maybe if the field were smaller it would be more fitting with my 8 second attention span.

>8 second attention span.
the answer right here ladies and gentlemen
also, not enough advertisements to distract people who don't actually like the game

It's just a fundamentally different type of sport. All popular American sports are high octane, stop and go, with some type of play calling that allows for strategic and tactical maneuvering. Soccer is the antithesis of that. Build up play is rewarded, players have to show patience in play because they physically cant sprint 13 miles in 90 minutes while maintaining technical ability. Soccer has set tactics and maybe some input from the coach about certain matchups but by and large its on the players themselves to find a win.

Further more, american sports require great hand-eye coordination where as soccer requires foot-eye coordination which doesnt sound like a large transisition but they are two entirely separate motor skills with two entirely different muscle groups.

Thirdly, there is a culture component. Bongs and poors can start up any club and work their way up from the bottom, whereas american's would rather pay for quality and receive quality quickly which translates into caring only about the utmost important and hyptastic matchups which the american media spins and spins and spins into even bigger hype trains.

This concludes my analysis based upon anecdotal and some empirical data.

Way too much diving over little to no contact. It's viewed as effeminate and worthy of ridicule.

Fix the dives and the popularity would skyrocket here.

we dont watch womens sports unless its two lesbians going at eachhothers' carpets

>P-please notice me Mr. Big strong yuropoors!

when ads come on I have a Pavlovian response where I automatically switch to another game, start shitposting on my phone, get up to get another beer, talk to the people around you, or go to the bathroom, etc. do you really think we are glued to the TV eagerly analyzing and taking in every commercial?

>not enough advertisements
Soccer is 90-120 minutes of non-stop advertising through what the players are wearing and the signs around the field. Not only that, but any fan who wears their favorite teams jersey or "kit" is a walking, talking billboard for whoever sponsors that team.

I find it laughable when someone bitches about the commercials in American sports, but then defends the commercialism in soccer. They're both bad, but in vastly different ways.

so every 2 minute you walk around, shitpost and are generally distracted? That's not better

>sponsors on kits that nobody mentions
vs
>Welcome to this Bills vs Packers game brought to you by Budweiser™ - have your fill™ and Verizon™ - connected everywhere™! It's time for the Samsung™ kickoff and it looks like they got some distance on that! Let's look at the Nokia™ replay of the quarter. And it looks like a timeout, we'll be back after this short 10 minute commercial break

ur gay

The very fact that you're using hyperbole is proof enough that you know we're right.

im gay

You literally wear ads. You're a human billboard. And you pay for the right. Could you be any more of a corporate whore?

ur gay

>Could you be any more of a corporate whore?
absolutely, I can pay for cable plus a premium package for the privilege of watching 11 minutes of sport and 2 hours of commercials

all leading up to the big final game where it's 11 minutes of sport and 3 hours of commercials

>offsides needs revision
>I agree
Kek, no.

American football isn't the only sport we watch, princess.

And none of us wear ads.

I agree with reds for diving

no but it's by far the biggest sport over there so that's what we're discussing. Mind you apehoop isn't much better with the constant timeouts and commercials either

>none of us wear ads.
oh, so none of you wear jerseys with the manufacturer logo on them? But if there are two logos then it's whoring? Get over yourself

>more hyperbole
Soccer is 90 minutes of advertising with 10 minutes of action, 60 minutes of passing the ball around at midfield, and 20 minutes of faking injuries.

b-b-but the clock is always running and the ball is always rolling

so it's a hyperbole-off or what? Except I can back up my claims. Whereas most of the time the camera in soccer is too far away to even see the kit logos

fpbp

You wear ads. American football could be three straight hours of commercials and it'd only expose viewers to a fraction of the ads soccer fans see.

You
Wear
Ads

talking out of your ass my friend. Wearing a team kit isn't even an integral part of supporting your team. But watching the endless commercials is literally all you do in American sports

Yeah! On top of handegg there is boreball, niggerball and Hockey.

Isn't the NBA trying to put sponsor on Niggerball jerseys?

Everything I've said is factual.

Every second of video footage, every picture, every shirt features ads. The fucking league names have ads - Barclays Premier League. The trophy is draped with ads when it's awarded. You pay to wear ads.

Save your breath, the brain damage from the concussions is too strong

It's just the Premier League.

>save your breath
>he's typing

>figure of speech

Christ. You are the reason that everyone looks at us funny

For the first time in a decade?

Serie A TIM. An example a bit closer to home for my naive Italian friend.

whether you call it the "Verizon Super Bowl 50" or the "Superbowl 50 brought to you by Verizon - stay online and Ford - anywhere together" is the same shit

Baseball is the complete opposite of high octane. Football is our equivalent of a poor man's game along with basketball and those have gotten more expensive too. Schools are dropping football because of the equipment and insurance costs.

I honestly think we don't like soccer because we've had everyone telling us it's gay and you're a fag for enjoying it for decades. It's no more boring than baseball or golf.

It's a figure of speech applied to speaking, you dipshit. Don't be such a Europhile. It's embarrassing.

Kissing the ass of Europeans you know are in the wrong is why everyone looks at you funny. Get a spine, pussy.

Its way more voring than baseball but probably on par with golf.

An event bearing a sponsor is not tantamount to a league bearing a sponsor.

You wear ads.

>An event bearing a sponsor is not tantamount to a league bearing a sponsor.
yes it is when the event is the culmination of that league

you pay a premium to watch ads

>Superbowl 50 brought to you by Verizon - stay online and Ford - anywhere together
Has literally never happened.

>none of us wear ads.

NBA will introduce the manufacturer's logo in a couple of seasons. They already put it on the NBA All-Star shirt. And there's more to come, it's inevitable.

so you've never seen a Superbowl broadcast?

Baseball was exciting at times, before they had games running 4 hours because of the 5 pitching changes on each side, half the batters taking 3 pitches per at bat to impress the sabermetrics guys, and like our Euro friends say, commercials.

I've clearly watched more than you have. Not once has a Super Bowl ever been introduced that way.

youtube.com/watch?v=cQGB2iy6pDc

>shady time wasting tactics
>implying this doesn't also happen in american football

The Italian dude is exaggerating but to say there aren't too many commercials during football games is insane. They can cut the amount of commercials in half and we'd still have so many the flow of the game would be interrupted.

youtube.com/watch?v=MpPl-kCIIyM

>10 seconds in
>Verizon graphics all over the place

I think I've made my point

FPBP
P
B
P

oh and they they cut in with "welcome to the Chevy Colorado kickoff show"

didn't remember them selling the name of the kickoff show itself, this is a new one I think

no one in europe has played football so they don't understand how tiring it is to play. do you think we are watching commercials while there is actual gameplay going on? whenever there are commercials it's literally people standing around and the coaches talking to the players.

this

Nobody here has said there aren't too many commercials.
That's the NBC pre-game show. Not the Super Bowl. Here's the actual intro to that game.

youtube.com/watch?v=U64Gat2mYI4

i love every year when the NFL season starts up the Euro soccer fans get pissy and try to take a piss out of Americans.

>that's the pre-game Superbowl show, not the Superbowl show

dude c'mon. Kick back™, crack a Bud™

kek

with that wonderful news I'm signing off

why are germans such unabashed liars? this just isn't true i've liked futbol my entire life. much better sport to watch than most sports that have too many timeouts, stoppages, commercial timeouts, etc.

that said there needs to be more punishment for diving and referee corruption

NBA is a dying league, this is a desperation move. also the 76ers are the worst team in that league.

>this is what ADHD+huffing gasoline as a child does

Because we can't be assed to play the game in a way that makes it watchable.
In MLS games and America in general, the focus is less on scoring and more on making sure that you can't be scored on - the game is so hellbent on ensuring that nothing will happen barring someone fucking up.

Contrast that with EPL, which is a lot more aggressive and focusing more on attacking and scoring, and preventing the equalizer is secondary to getting another goal.

Part of this, I have to feel, is that England and other European countries are a lot smaller, so there's a lot more heated rivalries and a desire to kick the other guy's ass. American sports don't have that closeness for most teams, and it's not as easy to have an unfiltered hatred for the opposing team.

Americans most important and marketed (ie exposure to young Americans) are modular affairs. Baseball is one pitch at a time, football is one play at a time, one set of downs, basketball is one drive at a time. Americans are slowly starting to show more interest in Hockey, which is quite similar in nature, but much faster paced, and more distinction between possessions (smaller playing space=faster gameplay/more movement). Through Hockey, Americans may be able to appreciate a very prestigious, but much slower sport of soccer (slower ofcourse doesn't mean less impressive, but perhaps less entertaining to the American consumer)

For whatever reason America has a pay to play system for most if not all youth sports. Idk how it got started but it is what it is. In Europe or South America you can be that poor kid from a shitty area that gets spotted by a scout and get signed to a real contract but here that just doesn't happen. Soccer has always been seen as the sport of rich/upper class white suburbanites, and perhaps rightly so. And there isn't anything close to the European style youth academy structure here either. Majority of the time you play for your high school and try to get a college scholarship

The MLS teams are just now starting to open academy type of facilities. DeAndre Yedlin played for one in Seattle and I think Mirazga or whatever his name is on loan from Chelsea did too in NJ. They're not that big yet though and amazingly not all of them are free.

This. There wasn't even a domestic league then and it went great. If the US hosted it again in the coming years it would be a massive turning point for the sport in America

CFL nigger

No u

He's actually a humble Christian trying to live the sin-free upper middle class life. You fucking queer

...

sport for children.

you get 0 respect playing this sport past the 7th grade.

>kick ball back to your goalie.

There's no threat of anything major happening most of the time. Dicking around with the ball at midfield isn't entertaining

corruptball

>dive
>cry as if you just got ran over a tank
>get back up and score goal

This semen slurping sport isn't for me.

unless you're a girl

better question is why do you like it...?

yuropoors will wake up soon and see all the reasons they should stop watching this garbage.

it's not chaddy enough

This.

youtube.com/watch?v=5xLn-X8YJRg

...

>football players go to a mirror and paint their faces before a game to look tough
>soccer players don't

>p-please notice me again amerikun

because we have several other ones that suit our culture better

Kek

>implying Brazilian football is better

Joao please

literally nobody thinks that but americans

>game
>one ball
>22 niggers on a 61 acre plot of land
>beautiful
Yeah let's watch these dumb fucking nigger morons move like ants over a square kilometer of turf in the slowest, most anti-climactic ''''''''''''''''game''''''''''''' ever, while the stands are filled with drunk fucking imbeciles totally ripped out of their minds and brawling with each other bc the game is so boring and slow. Sounds like a great time.

what is "the beautiful" game?

This thread is close enough I guess.

I still can't tell from watching premier leagues games whether a team is actually good or just playing well for that game because of their opponent or whatever other reason. I've been told that Everton are only in 2nd because they had an easy start to the season, so about where in the table do they look like they should be based on how they look right now? Koeman said he wants to challenge for european football but not champions league, is that realistic or is that still too high? If someone could explain to an american why, that would be great.

for what reason is it that size? Real football is a game of field position where you have to earn getting closer to the goal line. Poverty kick you can go wherever you want at any time so a large field just cuts down on the already nonexistent excitement. Cut the field in half and maybe you wouldn't have so many thrilling 0-0 ties.

Objectively correct.

If you actually cared about educating yourself you'd realize that the 11 minutes stat is wrong

Watch any condensed game and you'll see that there's far more playtime than 11 minutes

if they eliminated offsides and opened up the field id watch the hell out of soccer. its a prevalent strategy to let your opponent beat you to the spot to get a penalty, why would you penalize someone for being able to read the play better/faster than your opponent? most pinko shit i can think of, fuck soccer

Why has dive grass let corporate greed rape their uniforms? American College Football is so much more aesthetic.

> Real football
>Played with hands
>Ball is shaped like an egg.
>Not called handegg.

y tho

>not realized he only named it that to cuck europoors

I always laugh when someone calls soccer the beautiful game

though it's a pretty gay thing to say which I suppose is appropriate for soccer

They will never understand big european nights

FPBP

Can someone post that MLS WebM with the flares behind the goalpost ?
A goal is scored and two flames rise

that would be the sounders. just youtube sounders goal celebrations

Thanks user

>literally conquered by two sand niggers with box cutters
>incapable of beating a bunch of desert monkeys and jungle chinks
>pour trillions into war with these people while they still beat you with basically no budget

i sure am trembling at the prospect of facing american military might

It just pales in comparison to football. There's no strategy or suspense. In soccer excitement only comes when someone is getting close to scoring, which fucking never happens some entire games. With football, you get excitement on every single down. You get to speculate as to what play they will use, you get to watch in excitement as the play gets carried out, every man on the team moving in perfect synchrony with each other. You get to see plans executed and turned into successes or failures, not just some random dude getting an athletic break and a lucky pass. It all seems far too spontaneous. It's also fucking boring as fuck.

soccer costs nothing to play your moron. Half the kids on my team were minorities.

lol

>Cause divegrass fans are the pinnacle of culture

R E K T

> watching a bunch of unathletic white guys lightly jog for 2 hours

u wot

>There's no strategy
KEK

Belichik or whatever is probably the only head coach in Gridiron that has any tactical sensibility.

>highlights of football: magical Zidane scissor kicking the ball with his weaker leg sending it into the top corner of the net to make his club European champions...Maradona dribbling past half the England team including goalkeeper to make his country world champions

>highlights of American Football: a guy throws an egg into the air...a guy runs really fast holding an egg in his arms

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

>highlight of soccer
>dribbling in the midfield for 85 minutes until a defense fucks up and allows a goal

this is correct

Dont know if it's bait or not, but I'll bite

>no strategy
You are just not able to see/understand it. Why do you think some managers are very succesful, anywhere they go?

>no suspense
Idk what matches you've seen, but compared to "set plays" galore a football match is way more tense, notably in overtime