/heem/

THOUGHT YOU HAD A THREAD, BOY!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=bM7r_UgZDHw
youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4
mmajunkie.com/2016/09/ufc-fight-night-95-early-weigh-in-results-10-a-m-et-1-1
mmajunkie.com/2016/09/lineup-finalized-for-ufc-204-and-its-going-to-be-an-all-nighter-in-manchester
mmafighting.com/2016/9/23/13019210/heavyweight-title-defense-jared-rosholts-debut-set-for-wsof-35
youtube.com/watch?v=qMz3gjl9x-M
twitter.com/PhilMrWonderful/status/779366532363063296
youtube.com/watch?v=u90JrlHVwjk
youtu.be/oFgZms1ZCvI
instagram.com/p/BKtDpHnhyOj/?taken-by=brendanschaub&hl=en
newsday.com/sports/mixed-martial-arts/lyman-good-to-face-belal-muhammad-at-ufc-205-1.12357132
strawpoll.me/11283124
youtu.be/F68_RWzrVOw
youtu.be/mAa1vY9fm3s
youtu.be/lWCsSTQFIA8
youtube.com/watch?v=ebTo3NlkEWw
twitter.com/ufc/status/779405045318025216
youtube.com/watch?v=NQOkBGlEBos
instagram.com/p/BKB2NpXBX_D/
youtube.com/watch?v=O358oTK3I_c
youtube.com/watch?v=lWCsSTQFIA8
bloodyelbow.com/2016/9/22/13023828/ufc-news-schaub-if-tim-tebow-pursued-ufc-career-earlier-hed-be-heavyweight-champion
youtube.com/watch?v=xqyu6qCnSfw
youtube.com/watch?v=ltvsV9ARf-o
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Khabib is a God

God

I'LL LIVE AND DIE A PLATINUM MAN

be careful

dern

RATE

Woodley vs. Wonderboy
Alvarez vs. Nurmagomedov
Weidman vs. Romero
Evans vs. Kennedy
Cowboy vs. Gastelum

Fronkie vs Stephens is supposed to be on there too

>Mike Perry was high as fuck on the MMA hour
Shit was proper laffs. Top BOY prospect

You think that'll be main card or the prelim headline? I suppose Cowboy/Gastelum could headline the prelims.

8/10

Don't think they'll put cowboy on a prelim homie

This girl should be breeding stock, not fighting.

Hometown vs Outsiders

They might put it as the fightpass card

There's no way this thread doesn't get deleted right?

Rich Piana discusses his MMA training.

He's taking this Schaub thing seriously.

youtube.com/watch?v=bM7r_UgZDHw

You'll do nuthin', you'll do fuckin' nuthin'

No she should be fighting she isn't 100% Northern European..

Well I SUPPOSE it could be a 6-fight main card, but that hasn't happened in a while (i think)

This is also a possibility. It would be just like Dana to put one of the best guys on the paid service.

Upcoming events:


UFC FIGHT NIGHT CYBORG VS LANSBERG
LIVE ON TSN 5
UFC Fight Night Cyborg vs Lansberg
Fight Card Saturday, September 24
10PM/7PM ETPT
Brasilia, Brazil
Nilson Nelson Gymnasium
Buy Tickets
UFC FIGHT NIGHT LINEKER VS DODSON
LIVE ON TSN 2
UFC Fight Night Lineker vs Dodson
Fight Card Saturday, October 1
11PM/8PM ETPT
Portland, Oregon
Moda Center
Buy Tickets
UFC 204 BISPING VS HENDERSON
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW
UFC 204 Bisping vs Henderson
Fight Card Saturday, October 8
10PM/7PM ETPT
Manchester, United Kingdom
Manchester Arena
Buy Tickets
At a Bar Near You
UFC FIGHT NIGHT LAMAS VS PENN
LIVE ON FIGHT NETWORK & UFC FIGHT PASS
UFC Fight Night Lamas vs Penn
Fight Card Saturday, October 15
10AM/7AM ETPT
Manila, Philippines
Mall of Asia Arena
Buy Tickets

>News

How to Watch UFC Fight Night: Cyborg vs. Lansberg
Sep 22, 2016 Comments(0)
Download the UFC App Today
View Article Australia's Whittaker eager for second fight in Melbourne
Sep 22, 2016 Comments(0)

View Article
UFC 205 Press Conference Set for Tuesday, Sept. 27 at The Theater at Madison Square Garden
Sep 21, 2016 Comments(2)
TICKETS TO UFC® 205 ON SALE FRIDAY, SEPT. 30
View Article How to Watch UFC Fight Night: Cyborg vs. Lansberg
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
Australia's Whittaker eager for second fight in Melbourne
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
UFC 205 Press Conference Set for Tuesday, Sept. 27 at The Theater at Madison Square Garden
Sep 21, 2016 Comments (2)
UFC GYM announces international expansion to Southeast Asia
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
Barao looking to use home advantage Saturday
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
On FIGHT PASS: Invicta FC 19, Friday 8 pm ET
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
UFC Unfiltered: Roy Nelson And Chris Hansen
Sep 22, 2016 Comments (0)
UFC announces five bouts for NYC event
Sep 21, 2016 Comments (28)

Well, just breed the brown out of her. Hips like that, she's good for at least two or three healthy litters.

He is gonna gas so fast

F O O K Y O U

Thanks for the hard work. I would award you with an upvote were it an option. Much appreciated.

sorry can't stick around no time too busy

You will not do anything. You will not do fucking anything.

lol

Dat is some phenomenal mewvment right dere

I'll change your bum life, Hank.

Rich Piana confirmed 268 lbs

He can make Heavyweight

Why isn't Gunnar given more attention? He trains with Conair, is a good-looking marketable white guy, and wins more than he loses. Is it because casuals can't into ground game? Then why was GSP so popular?

youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4
GET IN HERE HEEM LIVE FOREIGN MMA 8 FIGHTS LEFT ON THIS CARD IT'S FULL OF MEMES

Gunnar is quiet and soft spoken and is shy and keeps to himself

Difficult to market

dat icelandic '''''''''''''''''''''personality'''''''''''''''''''''''

lol that embedded in las vegas with the fireworks from the mansion balcony and he didn't give a shit

he's like a quiet weird foreign dude lol

Gunnar's father, Haraldur Dean Nelson, is of Anglo-American and Icelandic descent. Gunnar's mother, Guðrún Hulda Gunnarsdóttir Nelson, is Icelandic. Gunnar has one sibling, a sister named María Dögg Nelson born 1992 in Reykjavík.

America's Own Gunnar Nelson

He's got that undeniable Nordic autism, guess he can't really help it it's where he's from. Hes also very focused on a pure jiu jitsu approach just wants to take people down and choke them, doesn't translate well with the plebs . He's still one of my top boys.

DUDE WEED xD

Thanks lad, some decent meme fights. Masio Fullen is on there and Richie Martinez who is a high level 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu guy is on too.

>María Dögg Nelson

How do I achieve that mode natty?

Once I had a dream that she really liked me and was crushed when I had to turn her down... and then I woke up wanting to cry like a bitch.

THE DUDE IS LITERALLY COMING OUT TO IVE BECOME SO NUMB

she must have gotten the "anglo-american" genes

so does Maia

>tfw 5'7 but 220

Should I cut down to MW or remain a HW and attempt to humiliate bigger guys as a turbo manlet?

Sugar, carbs, bananas, mangoes, dates

Upcoming events:

9/23: Invicta FC 19 - Maia vs Modafferi
9/24: UFC FN 95 - Cyborg vs Lansberg
9/25: RIZIN 2 - Gracie vs Tokoro
10/1: UFC FN 96 - Lineker vs Dodson
10/8: UFC 204 - Bisping vs Henderson 2
10/15: UFC FN 97 - Lamas vs Penn
10/21: Bellator 162 - Shlemenko vs Grove
11/05: UFC FN 98 - Dos Anjos vs Ferguson
11/11: One FC: Defending Honor - Aoki vs Folayang
11/12: UFC 205 - TBA
11/19: Bellator 163 - Chandler vs Henderson
11/19: UFC FN 99 - Nelson vs Kim
11/19: UFC FN 100 - Gustaffson vs Nogueira
11/26: UFC FN 101 - Rockhold vs Souza 2
12/10: Glory: Collision - Verhoeven vs Hari

News:

mmajunkie.com/2016/09/ufc-fight-night-95-early-weigh-in-results-10-a-m-et-1-1

mmajunkie.com/2016/09/lineup-finalized-for-ufc-204-and-its-going-to-be-an-all-nighter-in-manchester

mmafighting.com/2016/9/23/13019210/heavyweight-title-defense-jared-rosholts-debut-set-for-wsof-35

>5'7 but 220

kek are you serious?

Leave humanity behind

lol spergy

Yeah no joke lol

cut down on the carbs

Based on Icelandic naming conventions, shouldn't his name be Gunnar Haraldurson? Or Haraldson?

youtube.com/watch?v=qMz3gjl9x-M

Carb up

she would be bangin is she lost weight

we need an mcbedded segment where mcgregor passively calls her a fat slob and goads her into training

TWELVE months of bodyweight excercises

Anyone doing some cheeky picks for the circus tomorrow night?

>Woodley OVER Wonderboy
>Alvarez THEY'RE BOTH UNIMPRESSIVE, SO WHO CARES? Nurmagomedov
>Weidman OVER Romero
>Evans OVER Kennedy
>Cowboy OVER Gastelum

Bet the house on Lansberg. It's free

2 more loses and Conor will be out of the media, thankfully.

Am I the only one who's tired of this Irish hillbilly/white rapper persona?

You'll be all good big boi, you're pretty much Mark Hunt at this point. Show those lanklets the meaning of mewvment

Gods

nice schooby dude

>2 more loses and Conor will be out of the media, thankfully.

>thinking Conor will lose again

tip top kek, your hate for Conor is clouding your judgement.

stop

I just hate these cringey daddy issue fanboys

twitter.com/PhilMrWonderful/status/779366532363063296

*revs up sperg*

Who is your favorite MMA analyst?

*vroom vroom*

Anyone else agree with me that Cejudo and Benavidez shouldn't have been the coaches for TUF 24?

Alexei Auld

WATCH OUT HE'S REVVED UP

>Cejudo

agree he's an mma babby

no you stop

Conor will beat any LW they put infront of him

*vrooms continuously*

he already lost to one

he lost at welterweight and then made sufficient adjustments to clearly win the second time

That was a WW fight yeh

I think it's hilarious that Schlob worships Conor whereas Conor was calling him a disgrace on twitter when he pulled the legendary Schaub Shutdown at Metamoris

It just feels weird

I think that Japanese shooto fighter "Mini Sakuraba" will win the tournament though

That's a great fight

*raises paw*

Do any of you think UFC should allow women not weigh in publicly and not disclose their weight?

Your papa didn't love you enough?

he lost to a LW though

The only people who could replace Cejudo are Dodson(Tarnished record before UFC) and maybe Kyoji, but I imagine Kyoji's english is shit.

Why hasn't a mod banned that fookin' thread spammin' leaf yet? Smh

it was a WW fight and Conor put on too much mass too quicly, he wasnt used to fighting at that weight. LW is his ideal weight.

yeah, but he fought and lost to a LW. this is incontrovertible.

Stupid nonsensical excuse. Literally at his walking weight

>put on too much mass too quicly

>state of casuals

No. He just didn't cut weight.

Also, he was the one who asked for it to be at that weight both times.

Nate was used to WW more
not an argument

>Also, he was the one who asked for it to be at that weight both times.
because he is a warrior and Nate wouldnt have made LW the first time

Nate hadn't fought at WW in five years, its just that he has better cardio than McGregor

Cant wait for paddy to bury connor and his career

>I had to turn her down
That's pretty gay, even for a dream

>because he is a warrior

>>>/youtube/

Is it just me or does Gunnar try to imitate Conor's posture when he's around him? What a cuck

Who is Conor fighting next? Unironically. Literally.

>tessuti
>literal who sponsor

You didnt make an argument to begin with. You said something stupid and false

I won before you stretched open your stupid looking face to say something

Alvarez

how come that one post doesn't have the special picture?

I legit thought he was groping his cock when I first glanced at the thumbnail.

CM Punk

Not sure if it's been posted here yet but
>Joanna Jedrzejczyk vs. Karolina Kowalkiewicz is reportedly set for UFC 205

*vroom vroom vroom*

They are unironically coaching the people they'll fight next so yeah.

>You said something stupid and false
no you did

check mate dummy

How much weed is too much?

youtube.com/watch?v=u90JrlHVwjk

this isn't Care/Don't Care

any amount is too much

lol

He's full of shit.

And I don't just mean the steroids and synthol.

no such thang

Sad times, didn't had internet for a while
How was /heem/ and Cred Forums after the Connor win at 202?

This.

>mfw I can shake anyone in this thread

...

literal genius

Glorious. All the 209 fanboys were crying that it was a robbery whilst in reality their boy got knocked down 3 (THREE) times and turned into a panic wrestler.

YEWL DEW NUTTIN

YEWL DEW FOOKIN NUTTIN

Who is the shortest UFC fighter in recorded history?

>literally helped Germans genocide yourselves in WW2

someone at 115

Who is this spunk monk?

that new nigger fighter at strawweight is short af

Not this much

Don't lose your head

is that supposed to impress me?

Im ringing the guards lad

...

...

He always has that kind of posture.

ILL LOOS FOOKEN NUTHEN YOU DERTEE TOORK

>tfw half pound plastic container full of weed in my lap right now
>tfw live part time on a legal cannabis field
Lmaoing at you "life" lad

every "man" 5'10-5'11 has that posture

>there were people who thought that Tumenov would beat Based Gunni

>legal cannabis field

Not once Trump is elected. The war on drugs will be in full force

lmao here's a (you)

Probably Aldo desu

>Not once Trump is elected.

dude weed lmao

will the next democrat president hillary clinton outlaw mixed martial arts? remember when john mccain tried to

She's 5'3"

I'M GONNA BUTCHER YER ON YA FEET AND YOUR HEAD IS GONNA CLATTER OF THE CANVAS YEH

>6'
>don't have that posture

checks out.

I just didn't think Guni would get him to the ground ._.

>there were people who thought that Gunni would beat Based Maia

I can relate

Lads, when is my boy CM Punk fighting again? I love that heart and attitude.

>they don't want to make america great again

tbf Nelson's wrestling looked much improved in that fight compared to his previous performances

Was Pride era Wanderlei Silva the most feared fighter on the planet?

Chute Boxe seem like a prison gang.

...

Hence the crying.

>there were people who thought that Maia would beat Based RoryMac

Only if you were a Japanese who

No, Pride was fixed fights user. Don't be such a mark.

There were """people""" who thought Mr. Bellator would beat Wonderboy

Go ahead and ask me who the president of Ireland is. Go ahead.

Consider the hummingbird for a long moment. A hummingbird’s heart beats ten times a second. A hummingbird’s heart is the size of a pencil eraser. A hummingbird’s heart is a lot of the hummingbird. Joyas volardores, flying jewels, the first white explorers in the Americas called them, and the white men had never seen such creatures, for hummingbirds came into the world only in the Americas, nowhere else in the universe, more than three hundred species of them whirring and zooming and nectaring in hummer time zones nine times removed from ours, their hearts hammering faster than we could clearly hear if we pressed our elephantine ears to their infinitesimal chests.

Each one visits a thousand flowers a day. They can dive at sixty miles an hour. They can fly backwards. They can fly more than five hundred miles without pausing to rest. But when they rest they come close to death: on frigid nights, or when they are starving, they retreat into torpor, their metabolic rate slowing to a fifteenth of their normal sleep rate, their hearts sludging nearly to a halt, barely beating, and if they are not soon warmed, if they do not soon find that which is sweet, their hearts grow cold, and they cease to be. Consider for a moment those hummingbirds who did not open their eyes again today, this very day, in the Americas: bearded helmet-crests and booted racket-tails, violet-tailed sylphs and violet-capped woodnymphs, crimson topazes and purple-crowned fairies, red-tailed comets and amethyst woodstars, rainbow-bearded thornbills and glittering-bellied emeralds, velvet-purple coronets and golden-bellied star-frontlets, fiery-tailed awlbills and Andean hillstars, spatuletails and pufflegs, each the most amazing thing you have never seen, each thunderous wild heart the size of an infant’s fingernail, each mad heart silent, a brilliant music stilled.

google.com

find out for yourself

There are "humans" who thought le spinny kick man would beat Matt Brown

yes

who is the president of Ireland

Hummingbirds, like all flying birds but more so, have incredible enormous immense ferocious metabolisms. To drive those metabolisms they have race-car hearts that eat oxygen at an eye-popping rate. Their hearts are built of thinner, leaner fibers than ours. Their arteries are stiffer and more taut. They have more mitochondria in their heart muscles—anything to gulp more oxygen. Their hearts are stripped to the skin for the war against gravity and inertia, the mad search for food, the insane idea of flight. The price of their ambition is a life closer to death; they suffer more heart attacks and aneurysms and ruptures than any other living creature. It’s expensive to fly. You burn out. You fry the machine. You melt the engine. Every creature on earth has approximately two billion heartbeats to spend in a lifetime. You can spend them slowly, like a tortoise and live to be two hundred years old, or you can spend them fast, like a hummingbird, and live to be two years old.

The biggest heart in the world is inside the blue whale. It weighs more than seven tons. It’s as big as a room. It is a room, with four chambers. A child could walk around it, head high, bending only to step through the valves. The valves are as big as the swinging doors in a saloon. This house of a heart drives a creature a hundred feet long. When this creature is born it is twenty feet long and weighs four tons. It is waaaaay bigger than your car. It drinks a hundred gallons of milk from its mama every day and gains two hundred pounds a day, and when it is seven or eight years old it endures an unimaginable puberty and then it essentially disappears from human ken, for next to nothing is known of the the mating habits, travel patterns, diet, social life, language, social structure, diseases, spirituality, wars, stories, despairs and arts of the blue whale.

shook

The answer is I don't know.

Who do you guys got in tonight's main event?

There are perhaps ten thousand blue whales in the world, living in every ocean on earth, and of the largest animal who ever lived we know nearly nothing. But we know this: the animals with the largest hearts in the world generally travel in pairs, and their penetrating moaning cries, their piercing yearning tongue, can be heard underwater for miles and miles.

Mammals and birds have hearts with four chambers. Reptiles and turtles have hearts with three chambers. Fish have hearts with two chambers. Insects and mollusks have hearts with one chamber. Worms have hearts with one chamber, although they may have as many as eleven single-chambered hearts. Unicellular bacteria have no hearts at all; but even they have fluid eternally in motion, washing from one side of the cell to the other, swirling and whirling. No living being is without interior liquid motion. We all churn inside.

gsp

So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one in the end—not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possibly can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman’s second glance, a child’s apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words I have something to tell you, a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother’s papery ancient hand in the thicket of your hair, seeing a new episode of TFATK just came out, the memory of your father’s voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children. Schaub bless.

Shant be reading a word of this

...

le previous thread man

Who invited this imbecile, I think it's time for him to leave...

Good, I wasn't talking to you.

>not knowing that's Arianny "Shiet for Shekels" Celeste

Cant tell if you're trollin la

Ive missed a real spicy banger for you lads

youtu.be/oFgZms1ZCvI
youtu.be/oFgZms1ZCvI
youtu.be/oFgZms1ZCvI

Which one of you was it?

instagram.com/p/BKtDpHnhyOj/?taken-by=brendanschaub&hl=en

I read it all bro

>The biggest heart in the world is inside the blue whale.
Pretty sure the biggest heart in the world belongs to Mighty Mouse.

>Lineker is the same height as Dodson

HYPE

That was actually a fascinating read lad. Do you have anything similar?

Hey guys, got any good skin cream suggestions? My traps have been breaking out like crazy.

Lol the canadian sperg is my favorite

heem are there any fights tonight? im a casual

Invicta I think

youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4

Give me your address and there'll be at least one

How come that UFC ring girls always have giant tits and flat asses?

>tfw you will never grapple with the qt striking goblin

Why live

*barfs*

He says the problem with teachers is
What’s a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life
was to become a teacher?
He reminds the other dinner guests that it’s true
what they say about teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it’s also true what they say about lawyers.
Because we’re eating, after all, and this is polite conversation.

I mean, you’re a teacher, Taylor.
Be honest. What do you make?

And I wish he hadn’t done that— asked me to be honest—
because, you see, I have this policy about honesty and ass-‐kicking:
if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor
and an A-‐ feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time
with anything less than your very best.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won’t I let you go to the bathroom?
Because you’re bored.
And you don’t really have to go to the bathroom, do you?
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
Hi. This is Mr. Mali. I hope I haven’t called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something your son said today.
To the biggest bully in the grade, he said,
“Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don’t you?
It’s no big deal.”
And that was noblest act of courage I have ever seen.
I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make? I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math
and hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you’ve got this,
then you follow this,
and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this.

Here, let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
Teachers make a goddamn difference! Now what about you?

no one here actually talks to girls.

Joanna is a literal 10/10 in makeup

Should schools start teaching UFC?

Make up + 10 million hours in photoshop

thanks lads
meet me at ur mums house whiteboi

no UFC is for thugs and dude bros, real gentlemen watch PRIDE

Teach Pride in all public school curriculum.

can't hide that messed up mouth/jaw.


*tips Boni Acai hat*

That picture is not flattering. She looks weird in makeup.

Six mo the of calisthenics it's should do the trick

Schaub bless us everyone

newsday.com/sports/mixed-martial-arts/lyman-good-to-face-belal-muhammad-at-ufc-205-1.12357132

GOOD FIGHT

>Woodley by TKO
>Alvarez by TKO
>The Chris by sub
>Rashad by decision
>Cowboy by TKO

Pretty good card

She has that animu triangle jaw

...

Last Rizin was great. I bet this one will be fun too

daily reminder that lmao you suck

Remember when UFC wasn't gay as fuck?

Me neither.

brakedancer fighting lmao

>put on too much mass too quicly

he "put on" nothing.
do you even understand how fighting works? to fight manlets Conor drops a HUGE amount of weight; to fight Diaz he just didn't drop weight -- he didn't "put on mass", ffs.
Do you even know what mass is?
Mass is not weight.

You don't have to be tough all the time dude

Wait, Marc Goddard comes to /heem/?

yeah dude he has posted pics

>Do any of you think UFC should allow women not weigh in publicly and not disclose their weight?

wtf? are you from another century?

Yeah, a lot of high profile mma personalities post here. For example, I'm joe rogan.

That's photoshopped

>You don't have to be tough all the time dude
fuck you, I'll fucking do what I need to fucking do to fucking fit in here you fucking donkey-wanking window-licker

kek
someone changed mma into /heem/
dont worry this is a safe, no normies here

A 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu black belt just got BTFO in Bahrain. Is 10PJJ a meme?

None of you will believe me but I am unironically Magnus "Jycken" Cedenblad

post proof

Do you really think somebody would lie on the tinder tent for no reason?

Does /heem/ like Jean Claude Van Damme

>Magnus "Jycken" Cedenblad
post ur ufc fighting gloves with timestamp and you
got urself a huge fanbase

>Alvarez vs. Nurmagomedov
Definitely not happening at 205.

guys i'm gsp ask me anything

lel

if Gunnar isn't your boy, you don't know shit about MMA

are you impressed with /heem/'s performance?

Threadly reminder Cruz would beat Conor

dat arch

i am not impressed by your performance

strawpoll.me/11283124

Mommy looking THICC

Conor was nimble as a cat at 145lb, I just did not see that coming through at 170. So weight did effect his performance against diaz.

>tfw Paddy gets a flying triangle on Goobz with his superior bjj
>tfw justice for 96 at last

>manlets


why live?

Is that Mrs Potato Head?

>185lbs dick.webm

wow her skull is actually way bigger

that is a scary woman

What drugs should I take to achieve robin black mode?

youtu.be/F68_RWzrVOw
youtu.be/F68_RWzrVOw

>This does not fookin slip

heath ledger really nailed the joker role

MAIN EVENT STARTING NOW

youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4
youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4
youtube.com/watch?v=VxTjsHD0Xa4

>women

Could she beat DJ in a fight?

...

No

youtu.be/mAa1vY9fm3s
>they couldn't find any real Phil Davis fans
Are they being ironic?

204 spoilers here

youtu.be/lWCsSTQFIA8
youtu.be/lWCsSTQFIA8
youtu.be/lWCsSTQFIA8

youtube.com/watch?v=ebTo3NlkEWw

Full belly.

Fuuull belly.

youtube.com/watch?v=ebTo3NlkEWw

A legitimate

no fucking way that finger is half way in
my god that looks awefull
now im glad he got his finger broken

Pretty sure I saw him at the pub I work at the other day if he's lying about his height.

noice

Theres maybe 5 people with that channel

>mfw knuckles deep

>streamed

2 skweps

5 skewps

10 skewps

Of mutant whey

You wanna get big or not? C'mon!!!!

Several champions have talked about going up in weight and defending two titles simultaneously. Joanna, Conor, Jon, DJ, and Dominick have discussed fighting the next weight up. Who do you think would have the most success?

I believe most in the undefeated champion with multiple consecutive title defenses that has beaten the same fighter multiple times...

dana is literally killing cyborg with this weight cut. She looked like she could hardly stand at the weigh in. Why is he doing this to her? Just let her fight at 145 you fucking jew

The ones who have a chance: Joanna, Conor, Jon
Dom definitely doesn't have a chance, DJ/Cruz would be interesting.

he's casting a line out to Ronda to hopefully get that superfight done at a catchweight

Seriously thinking about unfollowing Ben Fowlkes on Twitter

There needs to be a 145 women's division and a 125. It's absolute bullshit that there isn't. He just wants Ronda to come back and be the biggest women's champion. It's like just having LHW and not adding HW because that would take away from the lhw champ. People shit on WMMA but they literally have so much less of an opportunity for people like Cyborg or Letourneau who don't easily fall into a 115 or 135 division. I used to believe that Cyborg could make 135 but I really really doubt that that is a safe thing to do.
If you are the #1 pound for pound women's fighter in the world you deserve that opportunity.

did that four years ago pham

how exactly did the 96 die? Just stomped on by other fans? Are futballlllllll fans really that disgusting?

crushed against the fence between the stands and the pitch

I've watched TUF 5, 22, and just finished 1. Recommendations on which to watch next?

anything but TUF

I used to think she could make 135 also, but there's no way. She looks awful at 140, seriously sick. Conor looks bad at 145, now imagine if he had to cut 5 more lbs. Cyborg walks around at the same weight as him.

Tuf 10

Seasons 2-4 are alright, the HW one with Kimbo, too. Also the one with Honda and Miesha.

Why is Jordan Breen so based?

twitter.com/ufc/status/779405045318025216
new 205 fights

hhahahahahaa what a shit card so far

Moreno might be the first death in the octagon

lets go raquel
my fightfu on there so i dont care who else shows up. i love being cucked by women thanks tecia

Cruz could probably beat anyone in the FW or LW division if he got some time to adjust to the weight

>Remove Eddie
>Remove Weidman and Romero
>add miesha taint

retract this comment

too small and he already fades late in fights, extra weight will exacerbate that issue

>twitter.com/ufc/status/779405045318025216
battle of the qt's sooner than I thought.

The UFC 200 formula.

Yoel and Weidman are still fighting though, Yoel's doing media work nest week

how is he too small hes bigger than aldo and only slightly shorter than conor

>>Remove Weidman and Romero

what why

Weidman still hasn't signed the contract I think

>remove weidman and romero
that never happened. they're still on.

>hes bigger than aldo
different frames, Aldo is thick as shit

idiot

>Mieshs

kek, eddie didn't sign the contract and cost us the khabib fight. Is he ducking?

>hes bigger than aldo
You're retarded.

well he better hurry if he wants to fight at MSG

are there any mma news sites worth checking regularly besides mmafighting and mmajunkie?

Reminder there actually are """""""people"""""""" that are most excited for JJ vs KK than any other UFC 205 fight

He might be holding out for more money/a resolution to the Iaquinta story.

>Finally make it to Madison Square Garden
>3 female fights
Wew

i'm losing my mind at tyron vs wonderboy desu. Especially with all the racial tension going on, wonderboy needs to win.

heem OP always has lots of news and helpful links

nah lad, white bois are going to get BTFO

Offended by women?

> Especially with all the racial tension going on, wonderboy needs to win.

people fear the unknown.

Kaffirboethe

>posting fat guys with neck hair on the internet

yeap same shit has happened also here multiple times and I am pretty sure every Yuro country had its football tragedy

Nope, I should have known that the hype wouldn't come through, JJ fight might be good though other two will be your usual WMMA snoozefest

CHECK OUT THIS STREET HEEM, HEEM!

youtube.com/watch?v=NQOkBGlEBos

I'm surprised Werdum's eye didn't pop from that

>Mayweather-esque in his shoulder roll and counter cross is fatbaldbouncer, Joe!

>Watches Mayweather fight once

manlets eternally btfo

Anyone has stream for FFC tonight?

fucking hell the guy had like 50+ kilos on him. Why the fuck even try, also if he is a bouncer. What a faggy manlet that guy. Trying to jab that monster. kek

>not going for the guillotine at about 0:16

shame on him.

why does dana hate fun and money? just let these guys fight, holy fuck.

Bellator had a Light HW Champ who was a tribesman, living on an island inhabited with vicious tribe niggas throwing spears at trespassers and shit. I thought he was dope, what happened to him?

>picking Rashad "deleted chin" Evans
what do you guys know I don't

>tapping in a street fight

Good, but not the same without Conor

Wonerboy TKO
Nurmagomedov UD
Weiman UD
Kennedy TKO
Gastelum UD

Why is it that untrained bums wilt from one punch immediately, while people with at least sparring can take them?

Bjpenn.com

JUST LET THEM BANG BRO

That Tim Kennedy isnt a Nakmuay

Honestly, lmaobud truly is great at calling fights
I think he probably is the p4p king on /heem/

what are your tapology stats

training breeds toughness

Its called not putting all your eggs in one basket

connor made everyone in to gangsters. Weidman won't sign because of money, iaquinta won't sign because of money, rockhold wouldn't sign because of money, eddie wouldn't sign because of money. Thanks!

these... these are not dons

next step: fighters unions

BJ Penn left the UFC as champion because they wouldn't pay him more. Do your history.

If there's someone who I full-heartedly support on that decision it's Weidman. They've been exploiting him as the face of MMA in New York long before the sport was legalized there. Not even JBJ received that much credit before he moved to Albuquerque. You can't pay the state's best mixed martial artist pebbles and expect him to stay idle.

Any story on what that little dude did to get that beatdown?

you dont spar with people 100lbs heavier than you

cool, and bj didn't start a trend, connor did.

lets say that someday at your work some charismatic guy showed up,making monies for the business and getting paid 20 times more than you

wouldnt you want some of that money if you worked on the same project as the guy?not the same money but a rightful portion of them

its not a trend, it's been going on for a very long time and was always going to be the eventual result of the sport expanding and unionization coming into the discussion.

id want him to bang my wife

t. the Winklevoss twins

who is your least favorite currently signed ufc fighter?

Michael johnson.

Jesus Christ.

When I was around 15, JUST when I started practising MMA, there was this wrestler dude in my town who wanted to fight me because I made out with his gf one day.

I was convinced I would beat him up seeing as I was taller and what not, but the dude was 18 and he had been practising wrestling for something close to 8 years at the time. A friend of mine who was this regional Judo champion stepped in and cleaned his clock, he got beat up and his gf dumped him.

Looking at this webm made me realise that with the little experience I had at the time the dude would've ragdolled me like that.

Fucking hell.

RACISS

this desu

why doesnt the smaller guy just win with his superior speed and agility?

nice blog post fagget

What the ufc is doing to cyborg is sick and twisted. Let her fight at 145, they're killing her.

I wish all these sh*tposters were herded in a small room and then they threw me in there to rip you into pieces.

I don't care if you're 100lbs heavier than me. Let's go.

instagram.com/p/BKB2NpXBX_D/

Jose Aldo. Fucking pussy ass hue pulling out of cards left and right because he fucked up his cycles and wouldn't pass the piss test. God I hate that fucking faggot.

God, I fucking hate when they put a bunch of women's fights on big name cards. I didn't mind women's fights at first, but they're really starting to piss me the fuck off lately. Anyone else feelin the same way?

>Lansberg literally comes out and says 145 would be fine
>still nothing
situation is so dumb, especially when the news drops that the UFC has offered Rousey the Nunes fight

Thanks, I try.

Nope, I enjoy them.

True perhaps.. There are people who are +30kg on me but they go relatively easy on me.

Based Judo friend

I'd read a delinquent manga about that shit

Tate vs Pennington should headline the prelims honestly, it's probably going to be a good scrap, but doesn't deserve a PPV slot. JJ vs KK is a great fight though, poor Karolina is going to get murked.

no i like watching women fight

Look, when I get drunk and pissed I will try it on with just about anybody. But if I see cauliflower ear or if it's a dude I knew was a wrestler I stay the fuck away from them.

You don't fuck with wrestlers.

Best fight outside of Conor/Eddie friendo

I'm concerned for JJ lads. I'm not ready for her to lose.

no worries, she wont.

You know she already beat this girl right?

Iron sharpens iron, polish buffs polish

why? just submit them lol

How many itsy bitsy Joanna jabs can you eat before getting heemed?

Aint even above Miller vs Alves

DANK TIMELINE ALERT:

- Hendo beats Bisping
- Hendo retires and vacates the belt
- Weidman vs Romero becomes title fight for the vacant belt at 205
- Winner of Jacare - Rockhold gets next title shot

He's the most gentle human being I ever met unless you cross that line. I've known him for 12 years now and he never lost a fight in that time. Rumour has it he never lost a fight either.

Imagine a blonde, freckled Khabib with blue eyes.

Nowadays I can afford to fuck with them because I have something close to a decade of MMA training under my belt, but I'm wary as fuck of them.

Especially American dudes with obvious roids and cauliflower ears as you mentioned. I've seen some ragdolling first hand, out of this world shit.

Did you watch her opponents last fight?

Air jabs galore

imagine thinking this

kk will do

In terms of competitiveness it's the worst fight on the card, but it will probably be amongst the most entertaining.

you're an animal, look at the state of that jar

Who the fuck is Lina Landwhalesburger why didn't they get Catherine Zingano or someone to fight that guy

Gypsy's right on this one, Joanna's disgusting, bro.

I want Karolina to win only because I want the goblin off the map, but I don't think anyone can beat her. KK barely scored a victory over Rose, who's admittedly shit herself. Joanna turned all that angst from being an ugly, unfuckable, Moria resident into pure skill in the Octagon.

Didn't rory not start training until he was out of highscool?

Like no highschool wrestling at all?

>I've seen some ragdolling first hand, out of this world shit.

Buddy of mine back in high school who is like 6'1" and probably 180 lbs at the time got into it with a wrestler. Now my friend was a okay athlete, did cross country and was alright in the weight room. This wrestler he got into a fight with was like 5'4" and MAYBE 135 pounds. Manlet overhead slams buddy into the dirt and damn near breaks his arm with a arm bar before we broke it up. It was nasty.

they're probably paying her 10k to show

hehad his pro debut with 16, that's still HS age, right?

I can't control myself around them carbs

Do you think Joanna's boyfriend is faithful?

...

Have fun ending up in jail.

Andrade has a better chance than anyone else, or Gadelha if she works on not muscling everything so much. I don't give KK much of a shot, she's great on the inside but a sitting duck at range, just no head movement or elusiveness. Alves vs Miller is just pure abject shittiness, two guys heading nowhere, fighting for nothing. I'll happily not watch it.

If he wasn't she'd treat him worse than Rousey treated the guy taking creepshots of her.

Yeah jus googled it and he started training when he was 14 but still pretty amazing he didn't start with any one martial art as a base and instead straight mma

NATTY limit

>Manlet ragdolling a normal sized human being
Still amazes me the shortcomings wrestling can fix.

Shorter dudes seem to be better wrestlers too for some reason.

>Inb4 someone makes a list of tall wrestlers who are great
C'mon cunts, you know where I'm going with this.

Canadians don't usually do wrestling but he's been fighting since he was 16 so I wouldn't know, breh.

Not to mention KK is pillow fisted and slow, especially compared to Joanna.

Honestly, at this point I see no one beating her. Unless a surprise heem happens, doubt it.

...

0k lads, you are gonna to watch invicta 19?
i'm gonna watch in taima

Look in my eyes. What do you see?

If anyone was going to beat her, it was going to be the best wrestle-grappler in the division, Gadelha, who spent so much energy just holding her down in the first two rounds that she turned into a punching bag for the last three. She's out on her own out there right now, just amazing.

No way lad

Why is Joanna ducking the real competition?

youtube.com/watch?v=O358oTK3I_c

when does mcgregor plan on following through on his promise of killing nate's entire team?

If the UFC makes the 125 division a reality, their eventual fight for that belt is going to be the fucking Ragnarök of WMMA. They should just pack it up and leave after that.

>TRT strength might dethrone Bisking

Just fuck my sport up family

200

your face is gonna look like hamburger however

joanna is literally on a 1940s poland diet to avoid fighting anyone her size

Actually bet for Gadelha in the second fight. If you can't wrestle her, if you can't jitz her, if you certainly can't outsrike her (she's miles ahead everyone in her division), what the fuck are you gonna do?

This is Cyborg levels of dominance.

Speaking of which, imagine if she loses tomorrow. I think Lansberg is at some ridiculous +950 odds. Imagine the fucking upset.

I hate this Valerie bitch and I don't hemember why.

youtube.com/watch?v=lWCsSTQFIA8

>that intensity of the 2nd round when you know the H bomb is coming

its old man strength now, TRT's been b& for years

Karelin should be on any list of greatest athletes ever.

I picked Gadelha too, I figured her 3rd round against Aguilar was just her letting up on the pressure since she'd already won the first two so clearly, turns out, nah, she was actually just tired because her style is so predicated on physically dominating her opponent. It's a shame, she's the most well rounded fighter in that division, she's just not an endurance athlete.

>I hate this Valerie bitch and I don't hemember why.
because she visibly turns her head and makes faces every single time she gets hit as though the pain is too unbearable, even jabs and shit

>amazing
>carla esparza
>jessica penne

wewlad

Bisping knows what's coming.

If you can watch her fight and not see something special then you're missing out

she's an F level athlete

Holy fedora just stop

meaning what?

>Shorter dudes seem to be better wrestlers too for some reason.
From my understanding being short and stocky is pretty solid for grappling since you have, generally speaking, better balance and a lower center of gravity coupled with being able to pack more muscle in the same weight.

He's my favourite pure wrestler of all time. Of ALL time.

It's her size which fucks her, I believe. If she was the goblin's size she wouldn't need to exert herself that much in keeping Joanna under control.
Shit's unlucky, mate.

Maybe. But there's also an added reason. I'm conditioned to despise and feel disgust at the sight of her for some reason.

i'll finish her in one punch or sub her in 20 seconds

she's not even 6 feet tall

>say clearly dominant champion is clearly dominant
>"fedora"
the fuck is with you people

>F level athlete

How can you accomplish what she has if she were an F level athlete? Does athlete mean muh joocy muscles and blacksplosiveness to you?

She's basically the Tyron Woodley of the division without the earth-shattering power. She could do with losing some muscle mass, hopefully that's what the Jackson/Wink. guys tell her.

>under 6 feet tall
>under 200 pounds (in shape)
>can't run a 100m in under 10 seconds
>can't dunk on a 10 foot rim
>can't run a 4 1500m

she is shit

Saitiev is better

I think there's only so much force you can pack in the division in terms of striking.

Would you fuck Gadelha?

You romanticized her as something "amazing" like she's some generational talent. You didnt just call her dominant you retarded fedora

>muh muscles
>implying there is not much more that makes a great athlete, particularly for fighting.

Well she is very talented, she's one of the best strikers in all of MMA, would it be controversial to call Wonderboy amazing?

In a heartbeat. And, yeah, if you're a woman that small, there are limits.
She pretty clearly is a generational talent. Rousey rolled over pretty terrible competition (the 135 division's fault, not her's) and since then nobody's been able to hold onto the title in that weight class. JJ is destroying contender after contender in a much deeper division.

I ran a 5:07 1500m in college and didn't make the team lol

>That guy pouring water down Hendo's shorts

Gadelha-esque in his cornering Joe

No, but being so full of shit with your cringey compliments would

>she's a strong woman on her own out there, brava!!!!

Youre pathetic

For a fucking woman

Bisping's ice skating tippy-toes circling whenever Hendo gets close is the best

Thats slow as shit

Obviously, all this stuff is relative. But, the 115 division is probably deeper than HW and LHW, for comparison's sake.

it's better than 95% of people on the planet can do but yes it is

No its not. Not even relatively

Wasn't the same britbong that had the wonderboy comparison, dickhead

It absolutely is. Those two divisions are graveyards.

Makes no difference you crying retard

>6'1"
>normal sized

Nomal size is 5'9", you raging idiot.

>In a heartbeat.
My negro.

>Being a manlet near me
Kek.

>5'9
even in america it's 5'10 bro

And womens divisions are objectively worse in every way. Stop being some fedorable dumbass

Well it does, because I didn't make the original comments about her in the first place, you fucking retarded mongrel.

6'1" is extremely tall.

no 7'1 is extremely tall

It's not extremely tall, it's just tall.

bloodyelbow.com/2016/9/22/13023828/ufc-news-schaub-if-tim-tebow-pursued-ufc-career-earlier-hed-be-heavyweight-champion

Bisping will be KO'd stiff once again. Mark my words.

That has nothing to do with anything you fucking retard. Im literally comparing two separate statements

Youre just upset and now trying to find something to bitch about

Take it more as an indictment of the state of those divisions than anything else.

I'll take it as you being some Bloody Elbow tier moron

Hendo should walk out to this just to fuck with him
youtube.com/watch?v=xqyu6qCnSfw

>no 7'1 is extremely tall

>strawweight
>deep
>paige vanzant is unironically top 10

That's fine, just know that you're totally wrong.

According to the retard that thinks any women division is deeper than anything than his own ravaged butthole lol

God youre fucking stupid

I know.

I have nothing against Bisking, he gave me one of my top 5 moments of the year, but I just know Hendo might sneak in his H-Bomb and drop Michael.

>in other news: Brendon Shwab still has Tim Tebows dick in his ass and mouth simultaneously

Could you imagine Hendo dropping another nuke on Bisping in front of all those brits? I think /heem/ would implode

>lol
You totally aren't mad right now, in fact you find it funny, I see

Guys tecia torres is better than josh barnett ok

steroids

bisPING

Yep

Relative to her weight? Sure. I love Barnett but he's looked like shit for a while, he's a dinosaur.

Why is Brendan such a childish cuck that he openly disrespects the athletes not just in his sport but in his own division?

>chocolate
>carbs
nigga that shit is 50% fat major krang pls control yourself

LITERAL

lol

Karolina would STARCH Cain

>Relative to her weight
when will this meme die?

JDS is no match for Rose, her BJJ is way too good for him.

>This guy triggered by women

PLEASE have sex.

So you think 205 is a more talented division than 155?

>100m in under 10 seconds

No woman in history ran that fast dipshit, hell very few men did, world record is 9.58

Pound-for-pound has been around since Sugar Ray Robinson's era so probably not any time soon

Bisping won't let that happen again. Trust me.

tecia didn't even look good when she was fighting the pigeon version of vanzant

Tebow and Schaub hook up regularly probably

Tebow is a well known closeted gay, Schaub in all likelihood is as well

Why Are Americans So Short?

that's 53% sugar and 30% fat you damb kant
also i'm not him fortunately

Why isn't he in the UFC yet?

i hope cyborg loses so i can post JUSTino

I've got a dank op in the oven, nobody else make one

Just a reminder Valerie Letorneau is a NIGHTMARE matchup for Little Nog

You think Val runs away from punches? Wait till you see what she does to Rogerio!

I've got the next thread covered, I've been prepping it for an hour.

NEXT:

This subposting is honestly pathetic, you're proving nothing

underrated post

You revved up the sperg.

Now gotta deal with the consequences.

...

...

>30% fat
>not a lot

is there a person on earth more polite than Sage?

youtube.com/watch?v=ltvsV9ARf-o

talking about faggots, why every gay in UFC is closeted meanwhile dyke walk free and without shame?

don't say me that in UFC right now there's not faggot fighters, everyone knows MMA is full of faggots and UFC have x5 more male fighters than female ones, so there's much more faggots in the UFC than dykes.

I jizz every time I watch that fucking English faggot get the Brit knocked out of him.

Especially some country-ass hick of indeterminate racial origin. He's like everything Brits hate about America all rolled into one glorious combat machine that those faggots have absolutely no prayer of ever defeating.

>Woodley the main event in NYC

What the fuck is that Invicta fighters jaw what the fuck someone please post a picture of that

here's what going to happen:

bisbong is going to do a gsp on him, toy with him for 5 rounds whilst shattering his orbital or turning his skull to mush, like he did with Koscheck and Fitch.

>>can't run a 100m in under 10 seconds
>>can't run a 4 1500m

give me a fucking break, very few humans can do that shit.
get off your high horse, mister.