If you thought this movie was good you are the reason movies are such shit now

This movie had a few moments where it was FUCKING BRILLIANT, but it was surrounded by putrid garbage

Great:
>You are completely fucking powerless if the Blair Witch wants you dead. Its GG NO RE. Even if you do what your "supposed" to do it finds a way to trick you
>The actual witch looked great (Made of briars and shit crossed with a anorexic The Rake)
>Didn't show the witch other than a few very brief scenes
>The time dilation stuff (Where the Youtube creeps experienced 5 days while the mains only experienced one) and the never ending night stuff was awesome

Good:
>Tunnel scene was truly scary
>Some of the acting was ok
>Had a feeling of desolation like you would if you were lost in the woods

Bad
>Worst shakycam bullshit yet
>Different camera qualities made the movie look fucking dumb, and so many shots had a studio feel
>Storylines that went no where
>Throws a 10/10 setup for a movie (Scary shit innawoods with eternal night) out. Somehow filmmakers in 1999 were more steady that in 2016

Horrible:
>The most retarded jumpscares ever (There are at least 5 jump scares that are just people running into each other)
>Seriously, this set a new low for retarded jump scares
>Retconning another set of murders into the legend for no real payoff
>So fucking loud and obnoxious jesus fucking christ
>Some absolutely retarded shit and consistency errors (Like the black chick with that foot so infected and was shooting pus being able to sprint full speed in one scene, and then the next time it cuts to her (Seconds from when she was sprinting) she is limping so heavily she barely moves)
>Having multiple cameras on each character for no reason other than getting dramatic shots and incredibly shaky scenes

2/10 its the worst kind of bad. There are enough glimpses of a good horror movie to make you really angry at what you get

She actually looks pretty good

There were some "jump scares" that were like.... loud noises? attributed to nothing and were honestly more confusing than anywhere near frightening.

Did she look like this?

Because that's how she is depicted as looking in the made-for-TV specials that came out prior to the 99 movie.

>The time dilation stuff (Where the Youtube creeps experienced 5 days while the mains only experienced one) and the never ending night stuff was awesome

I actually liked that bit. It really added to the sense of dread that and forest looked fucking terrifying at night.

Yeah, it made it seem like the forest was a zone or dimension you just got pulled into and the blair witch would just have at you in whatever way she wanted...

I thought the giant stick figure that Thalia bumped into was pretty spooky, and the way the tents just got sucked up into the night was really neat.

That scene where the girl snapped in fucking half was fucked up.

Also that tunnel scene was scary. The ending was shitty though because she knew she wasn't suppose to look back and seen what happened when someone looked backed.

Yet she did. But desu I don't think she would be able to walk out backwards out of the house or even walk out backwards out of the forest anyway.

She kind of looks like how you look when you die as a bab in Fallout 3

Jay will still suck its cock on hitb

So fucking many. How many trees fell over the course of the movie. Like jesus was the witch doing it or something that it happened so often.

Nope, she looks like this but really tall and slender and made of tree branches. It really pissed on the original in so many ways

Agreed.

That was fucking weird in a good way. Not sure it makes sense seeing as how Im pretty sure they stomp and break some of the figures in the first one and no one snaps in half

Also she would not have made it far because once she was out in a semi open area the witch could just fucking walk around her

So SW 7?

Doubtful, on Re:View he sang the praises of the original for the opposite of what this movie does/is

The only reason why that girl got snapped in half was because The doll that the black chick snapped had her hair in it.

I remember that scene in the second one was spooky as shit because of how badly it was made.

I can't find the scene on youtube though...

I did it, I found a way to beat the Witch.

Just close your eyes dummy and walk.

>remake
>IT WAS PREDICTABLE REEEEEE

the voodoo doll conceit feels like it was too much of an obvious thing for them to "expand" the lore of the original with. Wish they didn't do it, even though it looked pretty cool with the figure in front of the camera and Thalia - snapping backwards- in the background.

not a remake you fucking IDIOT

That makes sense, I though they were screaming that it's his hair (Lane's)

Then again I think at that point I had a concussion from the shakycam

Not only was it predictable it was downright awful.

You are a fucking genius.

If they toned down on the jumpscares it would've been so much better in my eyes. The big ones they should've left but all that shit with people just popping into the camera randomly is just cheap shit and should've been taken out.

This might be a personal thing but I wish the Witch didn't holler like a fucking elephant. It's too loud for something that's creepy. They should've made it alot more quieter and subtle. Like some creepy, low tone whispering or something. Or maybe like the Siren from Killing Floor. But that's just me.

Just because the character shares the audience reaction and says "Can you guys stop doing that??" doesn't make the same stupid slap-the-camera-outta-ma-face jumpscare OK.

>Like some creepy, low tone whispering or something
FUK
OF

Witches aren't scary what the fuck

Yeh I was really confounded by the giant noises the witch was supposed to be making...

Fuck it, apparently you can just look through the viewfinder of a camera (Which is waht the chick did at the end)

Get a news camera, put it only your shoulder backwards, and then the viewfinder around

They should have just made the witch look like a normal woman. That would have been much scarier than standard ooga booga tall thing.

Your face is pretty scary you nerd

How tall was she?

As someone who goes to the movies every weekend (I get in for free since my sister works there)

This is how I feel about this movie. Fucking garbage. Just miserable.

she could fit through doors but was p tall. probably taller than you'd expect.

she sounded like a fucking mountain troll though, like Troll Hunter stuff.

Sorry for making you mad girl

Movie was so fucking shit I forgot to attach my image.

As someone who goes to the movies every weekend (I get in for free since my sister works there)

This is how I feel about this movie. This is a list of every movie I've seen in theaters from Favorite to least favorite Fucking garbage. Just miserable.

Would this movie had been better if it was like the first one, in that it was just a serial killer(probably the youtuber guy)

The witch looked different 3 fucking times

Time 1: Generic dirty woman in rags
Time 2: Naked faggot behind tree
Time 3: Tall skeletor

she was just stripping her cloths as she went

that's more horrifying than dying.

Porn of the witch when?

I think you need to rewatch the first one mate. It was the witch in the first one too. The serial killer thing comes from a guy who used to live in the woods (he owned the house) who killed kids the Witch had drawn there. He was being influenced by the Witch, from what I remember that took place 100 years before the first film, or something.

God, I hated this movie so fucking much. I remember watching my VHS tape of the first movie with friends at camp in the middle of nowhere and us losing our minds because of all the whispering and giggling Heather hears. Then we started to hear that stuff, and every snapped twig scared the piss out of our wieners. Now we have this flaccid, Hollywood piece of shit with hipsters scoffing at obsolete technology and superstition, and a witch that likes to run around slappin' down trees and roaring like king of the fucking dinosaurs. Such a waste of time and money.

There is not witch or killer in the first one.

No shit, I donno how many times during "generic running scene" I stopped and though to myself "This is supposed to be realistic seeming, the first one was, this is a mess"

Just because the witch doesn't appear, it doesn't mean she isn't there. That's precisely why the first one is so good. The witch is obviously fucking with them and kills them but she never appears on camera.
Millennials will never understand.

Jesus christ you like talking about dicks don't you.

I always thought it was the witch possessing Josh or whatever, since he was the one screaming in the house to lure them in and murder them.

Guess not, since they show the witch in this one and show she now has voice changing powers

>TFW I wanted to snuggle the purple-haired QT and keep her safe

hey guys let's watch an horror film together.

Yeah, but aren't you saying it was a killer in this one WITH the witch and so it was with Rustin Parr in the original? If not, nvm nvm...

That's why they put her there. Damn you're naive.

I thought this was the slut in scott pilgrim 2bh

No? I'm saying it's the witch in both films. Isn't that really obvious? Rustin Parr died 50 years before the first film is set.

She had a pretty good body
>tfw you would had ditched the other girl to bone the crazy one.
TREES WOULD BE BREAKING ALRIGHT

Nah it's def obvious. Thought you were saying it was the combo of Lain + Witch like it was in this one

At least she died quickly and felt no pain.

She probably had the easiest death of them all.

>Dumb loud nigress murders the only QT

Also,

>I live in rural Texas
>get out of the movie theater at around 9pm
>see storm clouds glowing with lightning coming from the north (pic semi-related)
>see the full Harvest moon
>have general spooked feeling driving home through the backroads

Damn, what a night.

uhhhhhhh,,,,

Dude I doubt she felt shit. Her spine instantly snapped in half.

Why did they write that scene where the girl who could barely walk CLIMBED A TREE and then DIED from falling????
WHY??

What was in her leg anyway?

Why was she trying to get the drone from the tree?

Her fucking back snapped in half and we last saw her choking on her own blood, the fuck are you talking about. The deepweb guy got the least painful, just a knife to the throat.

Yeah, Lane was obviously the Rustin Parr of 2014, the difference being he was actually part of the film.

Which reminds me of something else I hated. They twisted the staring at the wall thing to mean something else. In the original, it was because Parr did so the other kid didn't get freaked out by the murder and go crazy. They've twisted it so it means omg if u dont look at the witch she cant get u!! They've soiled the original retroactively.

I thought it was like a big maggot, then I thought it was just light colored ooze, then it turned into a small spine or something?

I fucking laughed when the guy and the girl were running and SUDDENLY THE HOUSE APPEARS and the guy is like "oooh yes finally im so happy!"

I mean by that time i would have hanged myself already.

ALL SHE HAD TO FUCKING DO WAS TAKE HER HAIR OFF THE THING.

The 3rd act was fucking brilliant. I seriously felt like I couldnt breathe during the claustrophobic bit of her crawling in the cave thing under the house and the chase through the house was fucking terrifying.

Very well made as the whole thing looked practical.

Something that you just dont see in nowadays movies anymore

>He actually goes inside it
retard of the year

To see an escape route. Donno but the whole scene was fucking dumb

A twig

Fug I need to go rewatch it.

I thought she instantly died.
I could have still saved that smile.
>That cute way she ate the granola bar =3

you do realize the witch controls the environment right? she literally has them in her own dimension and can choose when she wants the house to appear

I thought it was a giant leech.

If you remember, they were joking about leeches possibly biting them before they crossed the stream. It may have been some POETRY.

Also, did the cut on her foot turn into an eyeball for second there? Shit was twisted.

That creepy dude didn't have it so bad I suppose. Although he pretty tortured up until that point considering he was being constantly stalked by the witch. The black girl probably had the least painful death imo considering just fell from a tree and probably died instantly from the fall.

I get that it's all punk and counter to be positive in a world of cynicism and negativity - but this is not the movie to try and do that with.

i know thats my point
why would he be happy about it

the house is the last place he should want to see in front of his face

He saw her sister in the window you fucking moron.

Did you even watch the movie?

Not to mention that he wanted to find the house right from the start and that is the reason he went into the forest.

Jesus you are dumb. Do you think he cared about surviving? No he just wanted to find his sister and hoped that she was still alive (as stupid it may sound but the guy was desperate)

>The black girl probably had the least painful death imo
Probably, but she was probably in a fuckload of pain till that moment with her foot

>Nigger walks into house and see confederate flag
>Gets uncomfortable.

Yeah they never really explored what was in her foot, it was there for a quick "make the audience gag" sort of scene.

I don't know how you made out anything with how this movie was shot

she fell from a tree, no she would have been in horrible pain falling from the branches as her bones were breaking.

I gotta say that it was fucking fantastic how realistic that whole scene was made.

Absolutely well made movie

I get you. He was all like "Oh, OH! Look, it's the house :D My sister!!"

What was with the whole cyclical thing about the footage Lain found and then it ending up being the footage that the MC filmed climbing up to the attic? What was that supposed to imply, or did they do nothing with it? That "lightening struck tree" was also just outside the house when it wasn't originally - clearly spooky witch dimension shit - but what's it mean??

>he saw his sister in the window
Was she actually in the window? Like could you see her in the shot or is just ONLY HE CAN SEE IT bullshit?

I guess in retrospect nobody had an easy death. Black dude had it pretty bad being crushed underneath that tree and all. But he was still alive until he got taken so what happened to him exactly I'm not sure Was he actually in the house or was that all just a trick?

>That cute way she ate the granola bar =3

It's called being starving you fucking autist

I liked that joke. The black guy was pretty funny throughout.

>sees his friend walking away from camp. says "good luck dude" before zipping up his tent and staying behind

Did anyone else cringe at how aggressive they were to the pranksters?
I mean IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO.

How big was the fucking house? I guess you can play it to dimensional bullshit but I figured in the 1st one it was just an average little cottage with a basement, not a fucking mansion.

You could only see a flashlight, and maybe I made it up but I would like to think I heard "JOSSSSHH!!!!!"

You see her in the window. Or what "appears" to be her.

I was hoping we would actually see her face and the original actress would get a cameo but oh well

The edgy dude said that the witch had rocks tied to her legs and arms, and was hoisted from a tree and left to die.

That's prolly why she has lanky limbs.

It's not like the original flick was even good

please see that scene wasn't really anything to be "fantastic". Wasn't bad either but come on.

>Well made movie
Maybe if you have eye tourettes and can sync up to the shakycam

>Guy fucking terrified of the witch
>Decides to fuck with the group by making witch stick figures knowing full well he is taunting the witch

He was possessed by then right? NO one can be that stupid

forgot pic

he wanted them to leave

it was a lame and desperate attempt

hmm interesting idea.

I thought he did it as a way to get everyone to leave because he was spooked and wanted to get the fuck out of the woods?

Except he said something about "wanting something to happen and be captured on film"

I think we wanted spoopy stuff documented so he looked right

I thought it was the opposite. It was like his attempt to get them to treat this seriously. But that may not make sense.

>black guy died first again

Is this some unwritten commandment for horror movies?

you also see a women running down the hall as he calls out "HEATHER STOP!"

Maybe that was her idk

He was just a massive cunt overall really

I mean his Youtube name is darkweb666 so...

It's a shame because the black guy was the only character I actually liked

>Maybe if you have eye tourettes and can sync up to the shakycam
I was talking about how practical everything was dude... the forest scenes, the tenting flying in the air, the drone scenes, the forest scene, the witch scenes.

It was well made in that department.

I AM NOT talking about the shakycam

btw this film's shakycam wasn't so bad compared to Jason Bourne which had horrible shakes

>the forest scene
I meant the tree scene

damn now i sound like an idiot by repeating myself but yeah it was great to see that they didnt rely on any CGI or make the witch look like some scooby doo bright ghost like the pathetic ghostbusters remake did

why would you need to make those "affects" like trees, tents and drones fake? what exactly are you congratulating?

Don't bother replying, I know you're not really thinking this through. Just consider your words better next time.

I didn't get that tunnel scene.

>goes into basement tunnel
>enters some kind of mineshaft???
>goes back into the house

I don't get it.

I forgot to mention the bug scene as the black chick tries to get it out of her leg.

10/10 practical props right there. i have no idea how they made it look so realistic and out of all the youtube videos i have seen of puss dripping out of people's legs, this looked just like that with no fake layer of skin which you see in some movies

It was a callback about how the guy had underground tunnels leading everywhere or some shit

yeah, what was the goal

>why would you need to make those "affects" like trees, tents and drones fake? what exactly are you congratulating?
I am congratulating them for not going CGI blue screen like we see in so many Hollywood movies nowadays

I take it that you just hate movies? You cannot enjoy any piece of cinema anymore such as this very well made horror movie.

No I love movies, and would normally agree with you in movies that would legitmately require or would be more easily done with CG. But like, you're congratulating them for using trees when shooting in the forest? For using actual tents and yanking them out of shot? These are of course practical because they're easier to do than making CG of them would be.

slut got trapped, she didn't have much of a choice

I don't know why she didn't just break the trapdoor with a knife like she did with the floor instead of having to possible get stuck forever underground

Found footage was a mistake.
excluding [rec]

Lets get real here guys.

Who here /WouldHadDruggedThemAllAndSmelledThePurpleGirlsFeet/

Also not to forget that the witch died in the 1700's and she basically looks like a vampire with how old her skin is.

reminded me of Willem Dafoe from Shadow of the vampire

I'd lump The Blair Witch Project and Grave Encounters in there too, but thats me

>He hasn't seen Afflicted
>He hasn't seen the taking of deborah logan
>He hasn't seen VHS, VHS 2
>He hasn't seen Cloverfield
>He hasn't seen Grave Encounters
I could go on

Agreed

I would have hung myself immediately after realizing it's forever night time

99.9% chance I'm going to die in some horrific way, might as well get it over with quickly

What the fuck is that from?

Also you forgot Noroi

lots of those are bad m8.

Grave Encounters doesn't get enough praise 2bh

>that moment where they open the front doors and it's just more hospital hallways

The Taking of Deborah Logan.

Fucking horrific

shit taste you have

yeah Grave Encounters and Blair Witch are similar with the main characters being stuck in a dimension that they can never escape.

I love how intense that is and how horrifying it would be

9/10 comedy
3/10 horror

Main faggot in the second one escaped since he sacrificed all his friends, right?

>3/10 horror
Did you even watch Act 3? I will agree that Act 2 wasn't that scary although the scene when the tree falls on the black guy and the witch is walking around him was creepy but Act 3 when the witch is chasing them in the house scared the shit out of me with how she looked and the claustrophobic scene where the chick almost got stuck in that small tunnel she was crawling whilst you can hear the witch behind her.

Very intense

I hate this excuse, but Book of Shadows is not canon.

Also he "escaped" but he is now mental for life

Yeah I hated that guy for what he did to his girlfriend... that was so fucking brutal and so uncalled for. Ruined his character arc

>but Book of Shadows is not canon.
I was literally telling a cinema usher this the other day

I never even finished Book of Shadows.

The hell is it about again?

There was an article posted months ago that this guy was cast to play Robin in the DCEU.

idk if he still is

I don't even know. I was 11 when I saw it in theaters and even I knew it was trash and it was my first horror movie.

>Spend only part of the night in the forest
>Run out of the forest before night ends
>Technically you didn't spend a full night
>Close your eyes the entire time
>Wear fucking boots at all times
YOU JUST FUCKING WON BRO GG EZ NO RE

yeah the first one was trash even when it first came out. Me and my friends all hated it.

>If you thought this movie was good you are the reason movies are such shit now.

Old fart going on a midlife crisis detected.

I know i hate that trope in movies. The characters are surrounded but UTTER BATSHIT LUNACY they must be fully aware they're screwed yet suddenly they find something they set out to look for in the first place and just forget about the world around them. If I was him and saw the house, assuming I didn't die right then and there I wouldn't be extatic like "this is what I came for oohh hoooo! I have to save my sister!" I'd be like "fuck this place is messed. Hey there's a house, fuck it lets go check it out we're dead anyway"

you seen Uwe Boll's House of the Dead?

I actually enjoyed the shoot out scene with the numetal song.
youtube.com/watch?v=q72wbwbjpxQ

Very over the top

I thought it was the scariest shit even because my parents told me it was a documentary.

I just rewatched it maybe a year ago and it was alright. Nothing great but enjoyable for what it was

I liked how it was spliced with shots of the game.

I hated it when it came out, but I have leared to love it in a "laugh at the trash movie" sorta way

It's just a Cred Forums poster who is fed up with cinema due to reading too many hate threads and now is brainwashed to hate everything.

Believe me, this is the Cred Forums syndrome.

Luckily I have not become fully like this but no doubt I judge movies way more than I used to

Good point, but still wouldnt go higher than 5 or 6

you should watch the funny version.

Uwe Boll literally made the movie into a "Youtube Poop" making fun of all the scenes

Near the end when the main guy is fighting a zombie Boll instead cut to an outtake of the camera spinning around the actor with no zombie and with the text "WEEEEEEEEEE" on screen.

I was listening to the commentary and Uwe Boll just bursted out into random laughter then

TOPKEK madman

whaaaaaat I never knew this existed

Well it does. You should definitely find it and watch it.

Hold on let me make some webms of some scenes to show you

tyty

>HE TOOK FUCKING PHONE CALLS DURING THE COMMENTARY
>He still doesnt really understand why people think hes shit

Does anyone actually have a leaked pic of the witch?

...

youtube.com/watch?v=ip1XtsAdn2o

Why didn't they just burn down the forest?

>send huge convoy of armored tanks and military bulldozers and LATVs covered in floodlights shaped like crosses and carrying loads of holy water
>have drones and lights and helicopters with lights fucking everywhere
>have an army of trained warrior priests with holy water bullets and flamethrowers and crosses all-over their uniforms
>fucking mow the whole forest down

Am I the only one who thinks of things like this?

almost done

just set the forest on fire

Is this film complete shit or actually brilliant?

R E A D T H E T H R E A D

video semi-related:

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=731140909

So yeah throughout this cut of the movie you get these bubbles appearing up saying stuff as well as outtakes cut into places

That was them from the future, they are literally going in circles at that point.
The footage that Youtube dude and Snapfu put up at the beginning of the film is the main chick and dude running around in the house.

That whole time thing is pretty much the only good part of that whole thing, wonder how much the studio fucked that up, should have let them do their thing. THAT IS WHY YOU HIRED THEM.

...

>The footage that Youtube dude and Snapfu put up at the beginning of the film is the main chick and dude running around in the house.
I missed that part as I arrived in the cinema like 5 minutes when the movie already started.

damn

IT'S A BIG SCARY MONSTER!!!

...

...

>mfw it only took $5 million to make this movie
That's impressive

desu most people are shitting on it, and not just here

and lots of people are praising it as well. I so hope we get a 3rd film

Okay smartass, pitch a better concept for a movie. One that isn't a rehash of something that already exists.

Did anyone else get a pin when they gave you the ticket?

a pin?

It wasn't great, but it was far from terrible. The last 10 mins saved it for me. Doesn't even come close to the first

Yeah, this little thing

DAM you lucky

>The last 10 mins saved it for me.
That's what I have been saying. The 3rd act was 9/10 yet a shame the other parts of the movie weren't as good or they felt rushed leading up to the final climax

> Produced by Michael Bay

>"She can't kill me if I don't turn around!"
>Turns around literally 5 seconds later

Entire theater laughed at that.

Grave Encounters is one of the most underrated horror films of all time. We don't talk about the abomination of a sequel.

I can't believe she actually fell for the voice mimic thing after she just saw him fucking die

There's a theory floating around that the reason the woods are so noisy is because the Witch can move the forest around to fuck with people. So the reasons you hear so much going on around them is because she's constantly shifting the forest to fuck with people's senses of direction.

Overall, though, I liked it. It's what I'd want out of a modern-day Blair Witch movie; I knew I'd be getting a lot of re-treads and stuff going in, so I'm content with it.

If they had even waited 10-15 seconds longer I MIGHT have bought it, but holy Christ it was literally like 5 seconds later. Like, that was retarded even by horror-movie standards.

The worst part is, it was actually incredibly creepy when it happened to the guy.

Honestly, didn't hate it. A lot of things annoyed me, but I don't completely regret seeing it, which is pretty much the standard for horror movies these days.

How would you fix it Cred Forums?

>no more jumpscares with characters saying hi, or jump scares at all
>remove black girl
>keep the qt and deepweb dude around
>make the whole movie more like the last 20 minutes
>don't show the witch

My only major gripe was Normally I would be on-board with "don't show the witch", but I think they actually did that very well.

why are you guys saying Snapfu turned around at the end?
She didnt, she got clubbed in the head, James got cursed or whatever.

Watch what happened to the guy, you don't need to turn 180 degrees just a single glance at the witch and you're fucked.

as awful as the sequel was at least it took some risk and tried to do something new with the concept

instead of this one

I dunno, It may be a nostalgia boner but I love keeping it up to your imagination. It also makes the first film a lot scarier for me now

I didn't like the witch at all though, being a giant skeleton monster just seems dumb. At least they didn't go with woman in rags shit, but a full blown monster was just meh.

I do love how they did the whole "the characters are now in an alternate dimension controlled by the witch" thing though

A truly low watermark moment for horror.
Blair Witch sequel? Might as well try to make The Shining 2 or Rosemary's Baby 2.

They could have at least played around time travel more if they were gonna do something halfway original with it.

a lot less scarier* obviously

Yeah, as far as design goes they chose probably the scariest possible witch design. But if they had played like the first film and not shown her at all it would've been worse. Like, you can't just do a remake of BW1, you need SOMETHING new to add in to make it feel like a sequel.

i'd need to see a camrip or cap of her turning even slightly at the end. James was very much influenced by the witch, not killed, when he was made to turn. I dont recall the witch mimicking voices outloud, she does what she did to James, speak to them internally.

>I dont recall the witch mimicking voices outloud, she does what she did to James, speak to them internally.
Well shit I didn't think of that, since his voice was definitely on the camera. I think this was probably an error the director made though.

The first one had the "alternate dimension" stuff as well, it just wasn't stated outright like in this one. It was more just "you can't get out of the forest once you're inside"

My ticket ripper (a sad beta mentally challenged guy) was like "Blair Witch? You're going to see that Blair Witch movie, really? You know I call it the Blare Bitch!

It was pretty problematic.

Just saw it and loved it. Really kept the vibe of the original where the characters were completely fucked and unable to escape the situation. Most horror movies now seem to lack the hopelessness. Question, does anyone have any screencaps of the witch? Cannot find them anywhere on the net and was hard to see her in the film.

I prefer the original theory of Josh being possessed by the witch and killing the other two

But the mimicking and dimensional thing were okay I guess

Why even remake Blair Witch? Only thing dated about that movie is it's internet advertising campaign and marketing for this new one sucked, because I found out it's coming like a week ago

did you go alone?

Agreed 100%

Did it really? I haven't seen it in awhile but I just assumed they went too far into the forest, not to mention dropping the map, and got fucked over before they could find their way back

>I prefer the original theory of Josh being possessed by the witch and killing the other two
how did this movie not uphold that?

You never get a good look at her, don't get your hopes up. She basically looks like kek, I literally found out about it when I walked in the theater. I think a lot of horror directors are out of ideas and are just going for the quick-and-easy tactic of remaking a classic. If they ever touch The Thing again I might go shoot up Hollywood.

Of course not.

I went with my stoner friend and she was bugging me about going back outside to smoke more half way through the movie and I wanted to fucking kill her.

Because they outright show that the witch kills the people herself?

Sounds pretty based.

Does anyone else prefer the forest in the first one? It gave off a way more creepy vibe then this ones lush forest did.

>I think a lot of horror directors are out of ideas and are just going for the quick-and-easy tactic of remaking a classic.

Bro do you even know who Adam Wingard is? Pretty top-tier director imo

I didnt see the witch kill anyone. People got dragged away by magic, sure, but Darkweb666 seemed to be doing the dirty work. And then James at the end.
She probably eats them though.

I wasn't expecting her to be so big.

With them playing around with time, I honestly thought they were going to run into the party from the first Blair Witch in someway.
Maybe have it so the things they're in the new doing affect the original crew in the old one so that the two films overlap.
That would have required sitting down and writing a smart script though, so...

Did you stay until the end? She basically murdered the two in the addict because they looked at her

I suppose it could be read that way, but you do get the whole going in circles, repeatedly ending up at a stream they already crossed, thing.

wow, I really fucked up saying attic

I was thinking of this as I was watching this movie :3

Only thing I know him from is VHS, and the only good part of that is pic related.

>addict
I know that's autocorrect but made me kekkle.

>1st movie has 0 jump scares, relies entirely on unease and creepiness to scare the audience
>This one relies entirely on jump scares which completely destroys the tone it was setting and honestly made me giggle a little

I was pretty upset, way to fuck it entirely senpai.

Though I did like some of the scenes like the tunnel and the scene where that bitch snaps a girl in half, and the lighting was pretty great throughout.

>top-tier director
His films are overrated shit and the next thing he's doing is literally an anime adaptation. He doesn't deserve to be praised for making money off of a true indie classic. Get fucked.

Wait so if the witch is so spooky you die looking at her, why didn't the girl die when she saw it outside the house?

Delete this!

I'm not convinced the witch killed Lisa at the end, although I could have read the situation wrong. I didnt really hear an instance of the witch actively mimicking voices.

Lain is a lying sack of shit

Whoops I dropped this.

Ah, watch You're Next, it's pretty funny and there are some twists you won't see coming and the main character is actually pretty smart and does what normal people would do in a situation like the one presented in the movie.

Also I got Terminator vibes from The Guest, it's obviously not as good as that but it was smarter than the average horror/thriller.

literally my girlfriend had to point this out to me.

>hating You're Next and The Guest
user, stop posting

>army of trained warrior priests
kek

Would be easier to just burn down the house, since that's obviously her source of power.

>hot girl crawling through a tunnel with tons of lipgloss on.

is she naked?

Any films that capture the same claustrophobia that tunnel scene did

for fucks sake that scene was horrible, it was too good to be in this movie desu

unanswered questions of the universe:

why do horrorfags have this criteria where # of jumpscares is inversely proportional to how kino a movie is?

what did the youtube-guy say before he pushed Lisa in the hole?

No matter how hard anyone tries to pretend Book of Shadows doesn't exist it always will

Obvious answer: The Descent.

She can teleport the house wherever the fuck she wants or some shit, I don't think that would work

yes

Lack of effort mostly. Genuine creepiness is almost impossible to pull off and fucking it up just makes the whole movie silly, meanwhile literally anyone can throw in 40 jump scares.

I think you can chalk that up to the fact that these things they say are all based on legends. The witch will headshot you if you turn away when you're forced to stand in the corner (you don't die from fright, she physically kills you) but "they say you'll die from fright just from looking at her" could be incorrect... infact it clearly is incorrect because that didn't happen when the girl was outside.

the one thing that scared me in the original was how they described the witch. She never touched the ground and was covered in hair I think.

Did that show up in the movie?

amen

She can't teleport it if it's burned down.

I'm not too knowledgeable about paranormal stuff but my ex was HUGE on it and I picked up a few tidbits from her rantings. Supernatural happenings are almost always tied to a specific location/object, and destroying that location/object makes the supernatural go away.

ultra no.

Witch?

If I snap this stick figure, will you die?

Yeah but this witch can trap you into fucking different dimensions and shit, I think she's a tad bit more powerful then a spooky ghost attached to a teddy bear

LANE?

Well I mean, you're already guaranteed fucked. If I was in that situation I'd burn the house down ASAP (even with the rain it should light up easily since it looks old and dry as shit) since that way there's at least a chance I can kill her that way.

Did you get it in afterwards?

I assumed the former, although I only saw it once when it was in theaters and was 11 years old

Sounds like this movie does a great job of illustrating everything wrong with modern horror.

no it didn't. you're applying fan-canon. They only got lost in the original.

I think the new Amityville does a better job at that.

Light a house on fire while being hunted by a supernatural force that will kill you if you even look at it in the middle of a downpour.

Yeah good luck with that senpai

What was that light James saw outside the house before the witch broke into the attic?

The theory is it's relating to the interdimensional and time traveling shit

I thought it was fucking aliens or something stupid they were about to shove in the end

Main problem is they waited too long to bring a sequel out. 10 years ago everyone would of loved it.

The first one wasn't scary or creepy, the only part with tension was when the camera guy was screaming. The scene where on of them finds his fingers wrapped up would of been a shit ton creepier if it happened at night. The whole movie is just some witch playing pranks on them, they finally get to cabin and you're not scared because you haven't seen anything bad happen, the only bad thing that happened prior to that was offscreen

pretty sure it was just sunlight, she was fucking with time.

Same, I was about to walk out of the theater.

do you mean parkinsons

>it wasn't scary or creepy

>would of been a shit ton creepier if it happened at night
Except it wouldn't, the atmosphere of that creepy forest was perfect enough where even in the day you didn't feel safe. The location they filmed at was perfect for spooks no matter what time of day it was

I disagree. The first scared the absolute shit out of me. Seen it opening night and left the theater around 12am. This is also around the time when you really didnt have the internet to research things.

But that shit isn't real though, even if it is it doesn't have rules, your ex is stupid but sounds like she was great in the sack

I agree. So many people have tried to make scary scenes during the day time and you just can't do it. The closest I've seen is the opening to Banshee Chapter, but even that was fairly mild.

Screenshot of witch when?

Imagine a white lanky version of slender man and there ya go

It is different from any other forest really, maybe the fact I've had prior forest exposure desensitized me

Was there ever a glimpse at the witches face? I only remember seeing arms and legs

>a white lanky version of slender man

So just slender man

You guys do realize that the bitch in the room was Heather, not the witch, right?

they say it's Heather, but it doesn't really matter for all the movie does with that info.

Didn't look like her, in fact it looked more like the exorcist kid then anything

HEY NOSTALGIAFAGS

THE ORIGINAL BLAIR WITCH SUCKS

LITERALLY NO ONE IN COLLEGE EVER WANTED TO WATCH IT. ANYTIME IT WAS SUGGESTED PEOPLE SAID "THAT MOVE IS SO BORING IT FUCKING SUCKS"

CATCH UP TO 2016 LOSERS

Why is Josh looking for his sister anyway? The original Blair Witch footage was recorded in 1994, Josh is in college so hes like 18-22. If this movie takes place in 2016, he wasn't even alive when his sister was and never knew her or met her and has no connection or bond with her. He has no reason to go into the woods looking for her.

Yes and no. A stranger version of slender man if you will.

screenrant.com/blair-witch-ending-connections-explained/
This also pretty much mimics what everyone else says about the whole time travel thing.

because muh youtube video

Yeah he's an idiot, even if the footage just got leaked it doesn't mean it was filmed that exact fucking day. Any sane person would have said that she died years ago, I mean she was running for her life in the video for fucks sake

He was 4 when heather went to the woods.

If you did not like the movie. Just know that it is an Alien. It explains the loss of time and paradox as well as the light and magnetic humm the woods make. Think about it.

I doubt it, the light was the witch fucking with the time and the rest is her having fun with her own dimension she trapped those silly kids in

It makes the movie far more acceptable if it is indeed an alien.

lol what did you answer?

honestly, this movie's better than most "found footage" horror films. it has the production value this level of horror needs. great stuff. sound design is excellent. most intense bone cracking sounds ever

>that back beak scene

V/H/S has it's great moments. You're Next too. I think he has great potential, and I look forward to see how he handles the weaboo shit

In the original TV documentary you learn that the house had already been burned down in the 1940s

>R: 289 / I: 45
>minimal trolling
>actual movie discussion

witch gave me nightmares