21st century

im pretty sure he was just average

plebs

>directed by Sergei Bondarchuk
kino

Anglos of all kinds hate him and the propaganda that he was "evil" and short and comparable to Hitler or "the evil Romans" is still strong.
Anyone without the metric system can't stand him because he represents the success of continental Europe.

...

Cary Fukunaga is directing a miniseries about him for HBO, and he got access to all of Stanley Kubrick's archived research and material for his own Napoleon project that never came to fruition. It other words, get hype.

I thought Spielberg was doing a miniseries for HBO, based on Kubrick's script. Is that still happening?

Tom Cruise

...

He was a little taller.
French inches were slightly longer and people were generally shorter back then.
Basically, because french inches were longer, britcucks lal'd when they heard he was a couple inches shorter than normal and they eventually made a meme of it to mock their enemy who was reking them. Kind of like how we label arabs as goat fuckers, except that's actually true.

>implying he wasn't

what was the average, 3'7"?

What went wrong

He wasn't. By modern standards he is, sure. But 5'7 back then was around average or slightly above. Look at Jack the Ripper's victims, one of them was called Long Liz and was 5'2, most of them were like 4'9-4'11. The male average wasn't much taller than that.

>"MERDE!"

That's a tall order, OP

They axed Kubricks Napoleon because this movie didnt make enough money

He was too brilliant, even excellent subordinates still couldn't measure up to his level, it wasn't their fault, it wasn't anyone but (((England's))) fault

...

I thought Kubrick pulled the plug on it because Waterloo and another film whose name escapes me came out around the same time and he felt it wouldn't make any money. Something similar happened to Dr. Strangelove, he sued a similar film just to delay it so his film would get released first

>it wasn't anyone but (((England's))) fault
He shouldn't have been French, or fucked up the balance of power if he didn't want us to throw gold at everyone.

>Natasha is supposed to be plain looking and become s landwhale after marrying Pierre
>Cast Audrey Hepburn
Hollywood lol

Not really.

Watch this and try not to cry

youtube.com/watch?v=L5UBupVTtlU

i DARE you

lol that's not true. Queen Victoria was considered short at 5'1

Does not follow the "short men are weak" Hollywood agenda.

>Does not follow the "short men are weak" Hollywood agenda.

t. Napoleon

>propaganda that he was "evil"
Haiti isn't propaganda, it's living proof that Napoleon was a monster. That shithole is the legacy of France's colonial 'success' under his rule.

That's an aesthetic face but dark colours are slimming. He was probably already packing on a fair bit under those layers.

>modern take on napoleon
>feature the battle of waterloo
>the duke of wellington is black
>gebhard von blucher doesn't exist and plays no role in defeating napoleon
>napoleon is like 4 feet and incredibly temperamental
I can see it now

t. manlet

The Anglo lies just keep happening.

Kek

Anglo niggers will never allow it.
They're the biggest enemy of white people and european civilizaton.

Reminder:
>Anglos pushed Poland against Germany in WW2 - resulting in deaths of milions of Poles
>Bombed Germany - resulting in deaths of milions Germans
>killed bunch of other people during their "Empire"

They're the most wicked scum of this earth.

English bankers might or might not be behind the New World Order but English people aren't evil.

>English people aren't evil.
They're the most evil creatures of this earth.

They still continue to hunt white people, even after WW2.

>be Napoleon
>hate french
>become french emperor
???

He wasnt jew.

>be american
>???

They might be evil remorseless former Imperailists who need to fucking licking the gash of their coldhearted bitch of a queen but more recently they gave us the Beatles, Black Sabbath, most of Monty Python, and Garth Merengi's Darkplace

I think we can forgive them.

Meanwhile what the fuck have those Congo Killing Belgian Bastards given us?
>Plastic Betrand and technically Agnes Varda.

...

Tintin, Jacques Brel, some crafted beers and fries

But the perfect Napoleon has already been portrayed in cinema

>there will never be a King Leopold film that shows the shit the Belgians did to the Congo. Not too mention where rubber wheels came from or chocolate hands.

Thank god the anglo scum didnt use Napoleon to make money on his glory, that's actually surprising given their perfidy

>there will never be a King Leopold film that shows the shit the Belgians did to the Congo

Which is surprising, since it fits in with the current year's fuck whites narrative.

Shhhhh... Dubs-Trips-Dubs...and good points.
You're ruining my no-effort Belgium bashing comedy.

I suspect it's because it's not American-centric enough... or that it doesn't include a narrative that allows New-Englanders to claim moral superiority over the South, which as I understand is the source of most American political tension.

I suppose. But it would be refreshing to see a different tragedy instead of another Holocaust movie.

i wish it was socially acceptable to keep a goat around for a practice vagina.

Because no matter you do
It will be shit on because people will say 'Well it sure as ain't Kubrick'

>Anglos of all kinds hate him and the propaganda that he was "evil" and short and comparable to Hitler or "the evil Romans" is still strong.
False.

Where the fuck do you live t. anglo
they teach us for the past 40 years that he was a great man

They should make a movie about him desu

Really surprised we haven't gotten a good Washington biopic yet.

>Which is surprising, since it fits in with the current year's fuck whites narrative.
To be fair Leopold in the Congo horrified people at the time too.

serious question: How many Hollywood films have covered the Holocaust?

Another question: how many English language period films are there set in times contemporaneous to Napoleon? There was a new BBC adaptation of War and Peace wasn't there?

>How many Hollywood films have covered the Holocaust?
6 millions and you're not allowed to say otherwise

...

But napoleon wasn't short

He was however italian VIVa la ITALIA

He's too much of an historical meme, most Americans don't care about him as a person. The only reason people haven't forgotten him is because he was the first president and is on the cheapest bill.

Also he owned slaves. Same reason we won't see a Jefferson movie as well, who has an interesting history.

>2feet

He was 2 centimeters above the average.

Buonaparte was born the year after France took Corsica from Genoa though.

>Wealthy people and poorfags were the same height

Fucking americans.

Doesn't matter. People think he is, so he must be a short tempered man with something to prove.

more like Robert Downhere Jr. amirite?

>french

I wonder why.

Idris Elba as Napoleon when?

We got some fucken comedians in here tonight.
Maybe Cred Forums isn't the dumbest board after all.

Oh wait... my mistake.

Wiki says 1.69 m. Pretty small desu.

for you

>tfw he's still taller than me
;_;

>pushed Poland against Germany in WW2 - resulting in deaths of milions of Poles
LEL. SIMPLY LEL.

condolences

>why won't the elite make a movie about the man who overthrew the elite in an entire continent

hmm really makes you scratch your head...

Reminder that Napoleon wanted to reestablish a homeland for the Jewish people and ended pogroms

Reminder that this is a good thing and meant that there would have been less jewish ghettos in the rest of europe

>best open field commander in history
>threatens Portugal to stop trading with the Brits
>they agree, but keep on doing it anyway just to spite him
>invade Portugal
>they change the capital to Brazil so he can't put a leader, forcing a stall, just to spite him more
>manlet gets pissed off so sends in more invasions
>btfo by farmers in guerrilla and scorched earth, comanded by the Brits
>Western front French and Spanish army get rekt
>pissed off, he turns to Russia instead
>they pull the same strategy

Pussy.

Either way he made Barry Lyndon instead and it bombed so he went full commercial and did The Shining

>>Anglos pushed Poland against Germany in WW2 - resulting in deaths of milions of Poles

Don't forget Poland started WWII by attacking germany

Americans are cunts however who only got involved after getting their jimmys rustled at Pearl Harbor

>Portugal always a bro tier ally to the British, upholding the alliance when there is no threat to them.
>British worst allies possible. Never help and threaten to break the alliance if you don't cede territory.

Portugal should have joined the French

Reminder: FDR declared war on Japan, Hitler declared war on the US in response.

>Don't forget Poland started WWII by attacking germany
Don't forget you're fucking retarded.

>He was probably already packing on a fair bit under those layers.

napoleon was always a really slim, sickly looking goth kid basically. They said his skin was almost yellow and he was an autistic weirdo

The french did to the Spaniards way worse shit than the English did to the Portuguese, by far, so there's no knowing how worse they would've fucked Portugal.

Also, there was no hope for Portugal to hold the pink map without a proper army in place, and the alliance had helped Portugal more times than it had helped the English, militarily at least. It was just a dick measuring contest. Portugal lost it all anyway eventually, fucking commie niggers.

Not to say that it wasn't a dick move on their part, but at least we chose the winning team.

t. Portuguese

>Don't forget Poland started WWII by attacking germany

t. eternal kraut

You just reminded me that the Germans destroyed the Western Roman Empire and sent Europe back 1000 years into the Dark Ages.

Anglos and germans have always competed with each other to see who can do the biggest damage to Europe in the shortest amount of time.

No wonder both share a saxon origin.

It would have to be biopic and it would have to be long and fairly artsy. Meaning it wouldn't make a lot of money because it's not about a person Americans care about, usually biopics that make money are shit like Lincoln.

In minds of most Americans and, thanks to American cultural imperialism realized through the American worldwide media presence, Napoleon is just a funny manlet that's straight out of cartoon that got angry a lot, fought some wars and held his hand inside his jacket.

Also this CGI totally ruins the feeling of modern movies and makes them look plastic and lazy. That was most obvious in LotR trilogy vs Hobbit trilogy - LotR to this day is one of the best looking, best shot, best directed most fucking amazing trilogies while Hobbit looks less realistic than fucking Frozen.

>In minds of most Americans and, thanks to American cultural imperialism realized through the American worldwide media presence, Napoleon is just a funny manlet that's straight out of cartoon that got angry a lot, fought some wars and held his hand inside his jacket.

>all this implying

Gee I wonder why the US declared war on Japan after December 7th, 1941

also given that Japan didn't declare war on the USSR when Germany invaded them, Hitler had no obligation to. He just wanted a new enemy to fuck him up in the ass because nazi's were cucks into BDSM

Action please

>Gee I wonder why the US declared war on Japan after December 7th, 1941
Because US were greedy imperialist cunts that wanted to take as much of Europe and European colonies for themselves? Yes, I agree.

Never forget the US traded extensively with the Germans in both world wars.

>Because US were greedy imperialist cunts that wanted to take as much of Europe and European colonies for themselves?

is that why they took literally none of europe and demilitarize and spent billions rebuilding europe under the Marshall Plan?

Is that why Hitlers entire plan was an imperialist war to colonize eastern europe and russia? kick starting the bloodiest war in history and slaughtering millions?

fuck off edgy LARPer

The nigger spoke french with a thick italian accent that he was made fun of it in school fpr it and both his parents were borb in italy and spoke italian. He was italian deal with it frogs

>americans joined WWII after not giving a shit for years because they wanted to be helpful to their dad and free europe

>He was italian deal with it frogs
He was a Corsican nationalist for the first half of his life. He got over that when he realized being a Corsican never did anything for him.

>He was italian deal with it frogs

He grew up as a corsican nationalist, even when he was at military school in france growing up, and idolized Paoli, but he thought Corisca would fair better under the new French Republican model instead of being independent, which caused him and Paoli to be enemies. And it got even worse when Britain became the owners of Corsica for a while.

after that he started to see himself as french more than anything. In fact, a little while after he was made emperor, a french reporter thanked him for doing so much for France despite the fact that he wasnt French, and the idea that his own people didnt see him as French really hurt and upset him.

>wanting a movie about a french historical figure made by americans
thanks but no thanks

>Sergei Bondarchuk

B
A
S
E
D

>strawman
>moving the goal post
>ad homs

oh look, literally none of what you posted was an argument

You'd prefer the British do it?

>tfw i'm Napoleon's non-meme height

>First time in London
>she didn't know that will be her last time
youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dZHyRohfo

;_;

I'd rather we used all that money we throw on shitty pretentious garbage directors every year to fund a french made movie about him

But then again maybe not in 2016 maybe after the FN is elected

What kind of idiot are you if you think they didn't join WWII for geopolitical reasons but because of altruism? At least it's pure political pragmatism like they tried in 'Nam but failed

>is that why they took literally none of europe
What? They took as much of Europe as they possibly could, everything west of the Soviet zone of occupation was occupied by the US. Sure the US allowed more freedom to their satellites (though it's not like that's unprecedented, the UK allowed Egyptians great degree of freedom in running the country) but Western Europe was still ultimately American territory. What US said went, what US wanted it got.

And Marshall plan is a meme, it wasn't really important (few billion is nothing on country level, in 1945 or today) it was just used as propaganda of joys of capitalism in the Cold War propaganda wars.

>Is that why Hitlers entire plan was an imperialist war to colonize eastern europe and russia? kick starting the bloodiest war in history and slaughtering millions?
Just because other people were also imperialists doesn't mean the US also wasn't, what kind of elementary school argument is that?

What the fuck is this bullshit? He gave us a sweet deal on half our country, the man was based

t. Amerifat

>maybe after the FN is elected
Based Marine, I hope frogs elect her next year and then we might actually stand a chance.

Everytime this pic gets posted I wonder what exactly is the shocking reason that the picture to the right looks like shit. No shit things turn to crap when the people who built it and know how to maintian it just up and leave.

>What kind of idiot are you if you think they didn't join WWII for geopolitical reasons but because of altruism?

oh look, strawmanning once again! Still no argument.

>And Marshall plan is a meme

no it wasnt. It was the only thing that made sure europe didnt become a poor third world shithole.

>Just because other people were also imperialists doesn't mean the US also wasn't

oh yeah, thats why the US wasnt even in the war for the first few years. Totally the same as Germany actively invading and brutally colonizing half of europe

I forgot literally everything is the american boogeymans fault. Especially when europeans destory europe themselves and America has to come in and help them out and then spend 12 billion fixing their economies.

go suck muhammeds dick faggot

>Everytime this pic gets posted I wonder what exactly is the shocking reason that the picture to the right looks like shit. No shit things turn to crap when the people who built it and know how to maintian it just up and leave.
Just look at the black guy's face here and it will tell you all.

youtube.com/watch?v=MkEqI3_J4xg

youtube.com/watch?v=eyJFRTJgPbU

>Orson Welles

AH The French

>whities be gone let's loot the place mufugga
>shieet why dun we have electricity

>oh look, strawmanning once again! Still no argument.
Not that guy but are you seriously retarded enough to think US joined ww2 out of the goodness of their hearts? You do realize you're basically the guy talking about how amazing Putin is or how Stalin was best thing ever right, a brainwashed idiot that was fed so much propaganda his brain turned into mush?

Non meme answer, Mozambique had a decades long civil war. The hotel was used as a military base.

One can only hope my friend, one can only hope

>Not that guy but are you seriously retarded enough to think US joined ww2 out of the goodness of their hearts?

once again, strawman argument. I literally NEVER claimed this. now fuck off stormfag

So what is your argument then, pray tell oh glorious saviour of weak and pathetic and violent Europeans?

>So what is your argument then

hows about you actually learn to read the thread faggot?

now go fucked by a muslim faggot

>now go fucked by a muslim faggot
I already answered that my melanin enriched freedom fighter.

Not him, and don't get my wrong the US is pretty damn noble compared to most historic super powers.
But.....

The US did take land in the Pacific from the Japanese.

And the Marshal plan was created because of the Cold War. As the US saw that poor war ravaged countries tended to go Communist. So, basically give/lend Europeans a bunch of money which has to be spent buying American food and products.
Which yeah, is a win-win. And far far far better than what the Soviets would have done.

Without the Marshal plan the US would have lost spheres of influence, markets, and would have made the USSR stronger.

Hardly altruistic, because almost nothing is.

>And the Marshal plan was created because of the Cold War. As the US saw that poor war ravaged countries tended to go Communist. So, basically give/lend Europeans a bunch of money which has to be spent buying American food and products.
This is your daily reminder that European economies were already booming BEFORE they received a cent through the Marshall plan.

He also wasn't even actually 5'7". He was measured in pieds-du-roi, or feet of the king, a measurement standardized based on, you guessed it, the king's own feet (which were well exaggerated for obvious reasons). In modern measurements, Napoleon would have measured closer to 179-180cm, which is approximately average or slightly above today, and at that time in France was on the tall side. All this information is easily verifiable.

>t European economies were already booming BEFORE they received a cent through the Marshall plan.

[citation needed]

Must be why the Europeans basically had to let go of their empires over the next few decades.

I like how throughout history we're constantly the underdog and get shit on or ignored by virtually everyone else, but we keep "thriving" modestly and marching on in our little european corner, and no one who actually visits us hates it here or us. It's a small, cozy country kind of feel.

I love you Portugal, will you marry me?

>food shortages and massive protest in western europe because they were starving well into 1947.

>DUDE THEY WERE DOING WELL AND DIDNT NEED NO AMERICAN MONEY STRONG INDEPENDENT EUROPE!

They should make a movie about young Napoleon. IIRC he tried to visit a whorehouse three times and kept running away until he finally succeeded in losing his virginity to a hooker on the fourth try.

Imagine Buffalo 66 set in revolutionary Paris.

Found the manlet

No, you sound needy

>mfw we enjoy things most people don't for the fact of being isolated from central Europe's problems
>mfw we are the only ones that know how delicious bacalhau is, so nobody else contributes to it's extinction
>mfw we have good food, good weather, nice people and a quiet place and nobody troubles us because they think it's 3rd world tier

God, I love Portugal.

this is pretty good. like really made me thinkn wowk

>Chinese telling anyone how to run a country
This is the same country that runs over children and feeds it's citizens toxic water.

no punic wars series

I'd lose my shit if Hannibal, Carthaginians, Numidians or Libyans were black.

And knowing Hollywood, and the BBC, they would be.