No way does anybody actually do this, right?

>going out to watch movie
>not having cinema room in house

pleb poorfags detected

>he thinks people give a shit if you are there by yourself or not

Like I'm really gonna bring someone. What if I have to shit? We'd have to make eye contact the whole time, and I imagine that would get uncomfortable after 5 or 6 minutes.

>making eye contact while having sex

gay idiot

Was talking about shitting. Can't have sex at the theaters. Someone always comes along and tries to save them.

WHY WOULD ANYONE SAVE POOP?

I did once and it was the absolute best. All be it in was in a very small town with a regular sized theatre. Only 5 other poepl in the entire theatre.

wish i got to do this more, live in a big city though and all theatres are always busy

i do it a lot. i live two blocks away from the grauman chinese theater and they do really cheap (for hollywood) tickets of movies that arent currently in theaters. its fun to go and just see say, the digimon movie, or planet of the apes on the big screen. you dont really need to bring friends to every movie.

ask ur mom lol

That's always the worst part, really. Its easy to get over being there alone once the lights are off and the movie is playing. But once the credits roll and you see all the couples and groups of friends get up and discuss the movie as they leave....thats the hard part...

>planet of the apes on the big screen
When did theaters start showing the news again?

That will probably be me when Godzilla comes to town next month, I normally go with my brother but he's moving

...

>...

when they started showing videos of you

you in los angeles? we could go together : 3

all the time. i don't give a fuck really.

I can usually circumvent my local kino's no-singles policy by getting dubs.

>usually

Albuquerque or I probably would

>local kino's no-singles policy

why would your gay club have a no-singles policy? isn't that contradictory to what gay clubs are for?

good one bruh

>how to trigger autists.jpg

not the user you replied to just letting you know that the user you replied to was, like me, turned on by your mentioning you go to movies with your brother. anything about two young brothers together turns us on.

... what?

I fell for the meme and went to watch The Hobbit in HFR by myself

Huge mistake

heheheeeee couldn't resist

triggered projectionist detected

I saw Kubo like this yesterday

I love my life

It's half the reason I watch Kevin Smith movies. The other half of course is because they're unique experiences unlike your faggy blockbusters.

when you said your brother is moving out it could mean he's going off to college which indicates you're both teenagers. you normally go to movies together so you're close. that turns us on. that user seems to want to hook up with you.

As long as you don't fumble your piss bottle and let it roll down under the seats and spill everywhere, you should be good. Hell, I've even stayed awhile after dropping in on accident.

I used to, but now I don't see movies because everything coming out of hollywood isn't worth the price. The only person I have to go with me is my gf too who has always thought the movies were a waste of time

>watched kubo hairless

why would you do that?

i do but in my electric wheelchair i got from my grandpa see round here they let crips in for free if its before 5 on a wekkday so i get to watch literaly every movie released in theater for the cost of gas to go 4 miles

>pic first half of reason: surrounded by empty seats no one else watches kevin smith movies
>second half of reason: boring painful is unique

something is adamantly wrong with you go see a mental help professional

i am literally doing this right now

>go to movies by myself
>qt girl that works there smile and flirts with me

It's not bad if you are tall and semi attractive guys.

HOW THE FUCKING FUCK DO YOU DROP IN ACCIDENTALLY INTO A PISS BOTTLE?

also don't go on Friday nights, go during the weekdays I would suggest mon-thursday during 11am/3pm.

plus you get discounts and only old people are there watching the movies. I assume all of you are children who have school and can't go to the movies alone on a week day in the early morning.

>isn't worth the price
>paying

virgin beta detected

lol old person detected

You forgot to finish the rest of the story
>Watch movie alone anyway
>Go home and post on Cred Forums

Go to bed Kevin.

Stop fapping to your daughter btw desu.

>implying obese virgins can have children

it's somebody else's child

>watch DVD or a movie that I downloaded in 1080p on my laptop
>get distracted
>end up browsing Cred Forums or looking up the qt actress in said film on imdb or google images
>takes three hours to finish a movie that's just 90 minutes

dude his daughter has his horrid face

>wanting a lesser mind to interrupt your kino experience

are u kidding?

do you two cuddle during the movie? do you buy her snacks?

textbook definition of adhd

this. why would anyone want their gay sex experience interrupted?

No, she has her mother's face. Kevin is handsome.

>cuddling
>buying her snacks

romantic teengirl detected

literally takes me three hours to finish a 90 minute film sometimes because I get distracted and end up shit posting here instead or watching youtube clips of whoever the qt actress is in the movie.

or I end up looking her up on wikifeet or some similar site and have fantasies about her being my gf.

or I will just imdb the director and check out his other works, also I stop for bathroom breaks and snacks.

fucking takes me forever to finish a movie if I'm watching it on my laptop. I also can't sit still in a cinema for much long either. I end up tossing an turning in the seat or adjusting the recliner. or I stuff my face with popcorn instead.

I can't watch TV shows at all that surpass 2 seasons either, I have a limited attention span.

>Go to movies alone
>Theater is mostly empty
>See QT girl also sitting alone
>Keep looking over at her and catch her looking at me
>When the movie ends we are walking out at the same time
>She asks me if I liked the movie
>Say I hated it and she laughs and agrees (Transcendence what a pile of garbage)
>Keep talking as we walk to our cars
>She says she goes to the movies alone all the time because her friends are always working when she has the time
>I say the same thing happens to me even though the truth is it's because I haven't had a friend since college
>She says we should go see a movie together
>I turn red but manage to stammer out "O-okay"
>She laughs and hands me her phone and I type in my number
>She says she'll text me and we both leave
>I go home and jerk off to her never expecting her to text me
>Three days later I get a text from her asking if I want to go see a movie with her

Long story semi shortened we've been dating for two years. It can go well. I'm a total social anxiety ridden social fuckup too so no excuses.

Try smoking weed.
I'm not kidding at all, it might help you feel more engaged by the films you watch.

Or you'll fall asleep.

fuck off pedo, that user just said he/she has a little sister of whom they watch movies with.

cuddling is cute and of course you would have to buy her snacks.

>I'm a total social anxiety ridden social fuckup too so no excuses.

Yeah except for the perfectly valid excuse of 'You simply got lucky'

Because you did get really lucky, dude.

That's a nice story. I hope it's true.

Last Saturday night I saw Suicide Squad with a mate and there was this guy sitting right in front of us. He was a cynical fucker and always laughed at seemingly low key lines. The guy was pretty alright and didn't give a fuck.

nah weed is for millennial stoners and black people. I just have to deal with my ADHD or take pills for it.

This is why I drink. If Cred Forums was filled with alcoholics I guarantee the board's IQ would shoot up 40 points.

ya cant win if ya don't play

AND A REAL HERO...REAL HUMAN BEING...AND A REAL HIRO...REAL HUMAN BEAN

That's my point though. You weren't even actively attempting to play, it just happened such that a person initiated contact with you first.

Well, I am black, so I guess you're partly right.

But god damn I love some good kino and a joint.

that's some pretty good copy pasta tbqh familla

...

also I hear it ruins movies.

it makes people think that Troll 2 and The Room are good pieces of kino.

But it can also go bad user.

I saw the muppets movie by myself

>going to a kids movie alone being a grown adult

yeah no...that's when you get stares from parents thinking you are a pedo child rapist.

This meme has been good but it's run its course. Go to any matinee and you'll see shitloads of people alone or, in the best case fucking scenario, you'll have the whole place to yourself.

It's fucking great really. Most of the time I like to watch movies alone. Comedies not so much but I hate seeing serious movies with other people most of the time.

>some good kino and a joint

personally i don't mix gay sex with drugs

I guess you're right. Still though, I'm proof that there's a chance of things not being terrible.

Not pasta my friend.

I don't even know how to reply to that. Top lel.

I just sit next to a group of friends and time my laughs with theirs so no one suspects I'm a kissless virgin NEET.

weed is literally the thing that killed Kevin Smith.

he was making good/entertaining movies prier to his weed addiction. Red State and Clerks II were solid, Tusk was not.

he got literally trapped

I sold my Pez collection and bought a cinema so now I can sit on my own whenever I want.

>might do this for shin gojira since will be going right after class

no fuks given desu

I go to the movies by myself quiet a lot. Why the fuck does it matter? Do people who go in a group planning on having full fledged conversation in the middle of the movie? Fuck no. Lights go out, everyone shuts up and watches the movie.

>Oh no, people I don't know are going to judge me, in 2016! :(

goddamn you 4chen it's been hours haven't eaten yet wait WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT MY GOLDFISH WHY IS IT FLOATING LIKE THAT godfuckingdamnit now i have to sneak into my neighbor's house and switch goldfish again GODDAMN YOU 4CHEN GODDAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

bye4nowgottaeatandsneakintoneighborhouse.jpg
goddamnyou4chen.jpg

it was at the alamo, not too many kids there

Kevin Smith ruined Kevin Smith.

That's dubious, and would hinge upon me choosing to watch those films in the first place, which I wouldn't do even while high.

Last movie I watched while stoned was Primer. Before that was There Will Be Blood and American Beauty.

And yes, the scene with the floating trash bag sucked even high.

>electric wheelchair
>gas

kek

>right after class

this board is filled with teenagers. that's pretty hot tbqh familla

any qt girls in your school?

>that
>bad

Pick one. That's my dream.

I haven't seen a movie in the theatres since high school when I went once with my mom.

because the kids were the first to die at the alamo

REMEMBER THE ALAMOOOOOOOOOO

>college in NYC what do you think gramps?

dude I think he meant he drives to the theater and then gets into the wheelchair once there in the parking lot or something

Welp time for a shameful fap

yeah but don't people always go "dude lmao that movie was so fucked up I was high as fuck when watching it xD" and they usually mean shitty B movies.

Most people watch crap movies when high from what I heard/seen.

>in college
>posting on failchan instead of getting some prime college pussy

why user, why? also I'm 29.

>be in Disneyland California on vacation with my gf
>we go to the movie theatre in down town Disney
>we're watching Guardians of the Galaxy, it's been out for like 3 months so everyone has already seen it
>yfw there is this autistic loner beta faggot sitting by himself 4 rows up
>I say to my GF just loudly enough so he can hear me "wow, what a loser you'd have to be to go to the movies by yourself"
>I feel the kid uncomfortably re-position himself in his seat, hinting that he heard me
>yfw in the middle of the movie I threw a piece of pop corn at him but missed

hah snake eyes

But how would he fit it in the car user?

Like 3/4 of the movies I go see I go to alone. The rest are with girlfriend and there were 2 with friends. Fight me.

>my gf

stopped reading there

what is assignments and monday night/?

Just did it last Friday night! Went and saw Sully all alone.

I'm a 32 year old man though, so no-one finds it strange. Unlike twentysomethings, I'm not expected to have a constant social life.

9/10 times I go to a movie alone, sometimes with my sister or dad if its a movie they wind up wanting to see.

Going alone is the most enjoyable for me and easiest since I usually go spontaneously since making and keep plans is difficult due to my chrones.

>Go to theater and purchase ticket
>Order food and drank
>Take it into the screening room without having to wait on another person to get their food
>Sit down with head phones in until previews start and get the comfiest position without having to accomadate for another person to possibly want the best armrest
>Watch previews and eat
>Watch movie, go home and talk about it here or with my friends online

9/10 experience, would be 10/10 if going to the movies didn't cost me 30$.

don't college parties happen all the time?

>doing work
>not paying some smart kid to do it for you

So the little kid that will inevitably sit behind you can't pull it.

I write movie and theater reviews for my college newspaper, so I do it sometimes, especially when they give me tickets to screening at inconvenient times. This Sunday I went to the theater alone because my plus-one cancelled due to work.

you jelly? faggot

That's going to be me if I don't get my shit together. No QTs, no tranny BJs, just shart on cart. ;_;

And what was that kid name???

Albert Einstein.

what cinemas do you guys go to? they mostly have Cinemark/Regal and AMC here.

I usually just go to Regal since it's the closest one but my local Cinemark is based as fuck, they have ice cream and starbucks and show classic films every month. also the seats are fucking high up.

You know what?
I'm going to go watch two movies Friday night, BY MYSELF BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, LIKE YOU SENSITIVE ASSHOLES.

>Okay for real though. I don't have a gf. ;_;

>tfw the smart kid, no I don't do others' work
>inb4 not paying someone to do the work means not smart by default

dude....

a little bit yes tbqh

Winston Churchill Cineplex.

/fit/ will save you user! You can do it!

I can't believe they'd choose Grand Budapest Hotel to do this during. You don't bug strangers into anonynous sex during good movies, you go to something like Chronicles of Riddick or Star Wars 7

you're a fucking cunt. I know what that kid feels like because when I went to see Sausage party by myself the other week a group of teenage fuck bois sitting right directly behind me where whispering and laughing at me and the girl in the group pinched my hair 3 times throughout the movie and I was too adult to turn around and whoop their asses so I was the bigger man and just left it.

shit I always get dubs when i don't even want them

I started going to movies alone just a few months ago. I've been to about 10 alone ever since.

Here are some guidelines I follow. Hope they help you.

>buy tickets online/fandango
This is to avoid standing in line alone, diminishing time where your mind can wander and give you a sense of regret or insecurity. Just walk in, don't give any eye contact, scan your ticket and then take a piss or go right to your seat.

>get to your seat 10 minutes early
This is to avoid walking into the theater while everyone is already sitting down. Walking into a theater alone and feeling all those eyes weigh down on you is quite unnerving.

>sit in the back row
Just like in tip #2, the less people know you're alone the better. Minuscule and feint giggling coming from rows above can be taken out of context and make you feel like wanting to slit your wrists. Sitting in the back is the way to go.

>sit in the corner closest to the stairs.
This way once the credits roll you can pop up and walk down the stairs first before anyone. Just keep your head down and keep moving.

>if you want to buy a snack
There are sacrifices you need to make if you want to go alone. Either bring a snack yourself or take a risk and stand in line alone. The more you think about being alone, the bigger chance you'll bitch out and leave.

Most people watch shitty movies in general. The weed is probably just a symptom rather than the cause. Lowest common denominators and all that.

If you have 'good' tastes (quotes because that's subjective of course but I'm assuming you consider yours good) then smoking weed won't suddenly make you watch movies that you think look shitty.

I took 7 dabs in the parking lot before watching batman vs superman at a cheap late theater
shit was cake

This is the saddest thing I've read in a week

fucking PEICE OF SHIT I CURSE A TERMINAL DISEASE UPON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY BY THE WILL OF MY SOUL I OFFER UP TO ANY HIGHER BEING

If that ever happened to me, I would stomp your head in.

KV NEET 4 LYFE TBQH FAMILLA

say that to my face, not online mother fucker and see what happens

What's more pathetic going alone, or going with your mother?

Buy a sandwich or sushi and sneak it in
There's nothing like a Potbelly Wreck or shrimp tempura during a movie you've managed to dodge the spoilers for

tfw most people think you and your mother are dating

pretty hot tbqh

That depends on how hot your mom is

I'd walk and sit next to the lonely user. We'll then start talking shit about your girl.

I did heroin in the theater bathroom and woke up with pissed pants alone at a screening of Oogieloves. Wasn't even the movie I went to see. Had to walk home in the cold and my pants froze. The look my dad gave me when I walked in the house still haunts me.

>went to see films on my own all the time when i was working for myself
>never thought there was anything wrong with it

>slowly but surely getting turned by these threads

I used to but then i realised that its pretty awkard.But one day i found a little girl on craiglist so i could watch inside out without getting weird looks

10/10 post would read again, please have an upvote.

Heroin will cure that...

Or you could not be a raging autist.

Fuck everyone else in the theater when I go alone.

>Buy a ticket from a qt gril (to autistic and beta to flirt though)
>Go get food and drank, sit down in the middle of the theater in the best spot I can find
>Enjoy movie (most of the time) while eating and drinking
>Come home and talk about the movie to you guys and friends online
Literally a near perfect experience.

I enjoy the burgers at my local theater, they're pretty good so I buy one of those and a drink.

I don't believe this happened but the idea of someone strung out on heroin watching the fucking oogieloves is hilarious

>going to Sausage Party
you did this to yourself user

not that user but Sausage Party was pure kino one of the best cinema experiences I had this year.

>certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes

This is everyone in this thread.

You could try it. I wouldn't be this alpha and cocky if I couldn't back it up.

I'm a blue belt 2 stripes in Jiu Jitsu, have done boxing for 4 years and did Judo for 5 years growing up. Been in lots of fights, won every single one of them. You'd be no different.

tfw :(

according to your story, you absolutely can win without playing

You're not a beta, you're full gamma. Grow a set

>playing a game that's rigged
>implying you can win at it

It's true, all of it. - Hans Yolo, Star Trek 7.

I carry two pocket knives faggot

Uh huh, I'll be sure to take that on face value

except me desu

Ahh I see.
So If I told you I have a potential contract with Bellator MMA, you wouldn't even be a tiny bit scared? :)

All hypothetical!

I make the money man, I roll the nickels. The game is mine. I deal the cards.

it's pure kino Edward Norton did such a good job of voice acting I wasn't sure that it was really him.

also 10/10 ending most awkward crowd ever

the moment you go to pull out a knife is the moment I take 0.2 seconds to plant a right upper cut on your chin

and then I'd proceed to stomp your testicles and brains out for attempting to intimidate and stab me with weapons.

I get it, the autistic loner beta faggot was you. dont cry

I literally thought Edward Norton's character was voiced by Wood Allen he did such a great job with that Jew accent.

So you basically pick on people you "think" have no chance of retaliating?

How do you guys get past the no singles policy?

>Bellator

I'd heem you and every other snek in this thread ya snek in the grehs.

When I'm not with my girlfriend, of course I do.

how do you guys handle penis inspection day?

Well, you're the piece of shit who is harassing someone. You deserve what you get.

Also, how do you know he's not going to pull it out of his pocket when you're trying to wrestlefuck him, you low IQ dipshit?

are you afraid of her cheating on you with a BBC when you aren't with her?

>tfw got penis mites and had to go to Genital Re-Education Camp

I hired an escort from craigslist to go to the movies with me once. The anxiety of going alone for me is too much.

I was trained in gorilla warfare and my uncle works at nintendo you little cocksucking slut. shut your whoremouth, or I punch your lights out kiddo

>lying on the internet

Why do you Americans keep pushing this "penis inspection day meme"? It's tiresome.

why do you non-americans insist in attacking us?

>Americans

Of course not, she's deeply religious and is annoyed by blacks. Ya know, a decent woman.

are you sure about that? might want to check her browser history just in case.

>tfw black atheist and gf is a deeply religious white girl

Never relax, skeleton man.

How do you watch rated R movies with her?

>Im fuckin a racist sluts that is also dumb as shit

Mmm, I'm sure Tyrone, the emem that white women love black men is a hilarious one for sure.

>Implying I'm American

>tfw spic and chink men get nothing

because like my comment said, I would upper cut him right in his fucking jaw. you illiterate brain dead dip shit

>I have never been in a fight before: the comment

you should just try a free week trial at your local jiu jitsu gym and see how fast you can put your hands in your pocket and pull out something as your falling to the ground head first. you'd be choked out before you never knew what happened.

calm down keyboard warrior

For a couple months a friend of mine worked at the theater so he could let me know in advance when inspections were coming. Sometimes my friend would do my inspection so it wasn't weird. Those days are gone now so it's always crapshoot

This is literally what I do between movies.

>tfw just asked a kinda qt tranny on craigslist to go to the movies with me

I don't even think I'm gay he just looks like a kinda cute girl and I want to go to the movies with someone other than a family member for the first time in my life. ;_;

Going to the movies alone can be pretty GOAT if you do it right.

Obviously you don`t go on Friday or Saturday night. In fact you should avoid evening showings altogether.

That's what matinees are for. Matinees are pretty comfy to start with but if you go alone it's even better.

This is what I do: pick a lazy morning like Sunday morning or something. Pick a movie that looks good but won't attract a large crowd (or a kids' movie obviously). Smoke a joint and go to the showing. It's only you, the giant screen and maybe the couple of 65 year old lovebirds who are sitting miles away and enjoy the viewing.

I did this with Frost vs Nixon, Incendies, and other smaller kinos.

Then you get home at like noon or 1pm and you have the rest of the day to do whatever. It's pretty great.

Only insecure faggot s have a problem doing this. I go with friends all the time, but my friends are plebs, can never get them to see anything outside the top ten box office.

That's the most pathetic thing I have ever heard. I'm not indulging in any kind of hyperbole here. Man what the hell.

That being said I'd probably do it too. Good luck.

>wikifeet