Holy shit, you guys weren't memeing. On a scale of 1 to movie, this was a real movie. Wew

Holy shit, you guys weren't memeing. On a scale of 1 to movie, this was a real movie. Wew.

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theacetheist.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/the-puritans-freaking-loved-sex-okay/
archive.org/details/magnaliachristia00math
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indeed

Not flawless, but its a great movie from a first time director and i am eagerly waiting for his next movie.

Its really worth watching with the commentary as well, they went overboard on trying to make the people and setting as authentic as possible.

Just post the ass webm and get it over with

Wouldst thou live ass to ass?

What was his endgame?

Butter

>no younger brother incest scene
>no Black Philip orgy scene
disappointing

>It's a Cred Forums overrates a movie because of underage actresses episode

She's 20

To live deliciously

Thomasin did nothing wrong.

>Slut
>sold her soul to the devil

She literally did EVERYTHING wrong.

it's not that good, stop it pleb.

Brown eyes? Dropped.

Hey look, Phillip was just trying to save her from an abusive family.
I was pleasantly surprised, though i have been watching a lot of shit lately

The atmosphere was unreal.
I wish the movie had more nudity, though.

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>Phillip was just trying to save her from an abusive family

By binding her to an eternity of suffering and demonic servitude.

How was this a horror movie?

I was not scared once and even got some witch booty fan service at the end.

Plus devil goat is adorable af.

she didnt really show anything but i seriously masterbated when she disrobed

Phillip is tops
pffft she went too far with everything, basically as a puritan she was fucked and most likely going to hell anyway.

Is this the best horror movie of our time?

>horror movie

No. Mystery, religious sci-fi, thriller... maybe.

Horror? Not really.

Phill caused her abusive family

It's horror to me.
Better horror than dumb jumpscares and tired old themes.

I don't know man...In the end, everything went along so fast, I don't think we had time to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

I sleep in the woods a lot so I don't like to watch any horror movies that are set in or involve any forested areas since real life woods are spooky enough when I'm alone at 3AM. Would you recommend this movie to me?

Where's the ass webm I came here for

>I sleep in the woods a lot

please, abandon all your plans to bomb something and I will give you a list with the best movies you could ever watch

My endgame was to corrupt a family that was too pure for the puritans and to turn their virgin daughter into my cock sleeve for eternity

it would have been great if it was more a psychological horror instead of oddly alternating between the hyperrealistic and the lolmonsters that are actually real.
The cinematography is awesome and would have been perfect depicting an ambiguous environment of religious zealotry, mental illnesses, domestic abuse or even ergot intoxication.
Instead no, you have flying witches and whatnot.

>dat ass thou

>depicting an ambiguous environment of religious zealotry, mental illnesses, domestic abuse or even ergot intoxication.

Then it'd just be another "religion is bad! the patriarchy is bad!" sundance movie.

POST THE FUCKING ASS

it's a goat you idiot, haven't you watched the movie?

I want to cum on her silly face

I dont think puritans got naked, ever. Predestination via Calvanism is an existential nightmare, and when you live beyond the borders of civilization faith is all you have to get by.

yeah instead we have an half cooked shallow shit of a movie with awesome photography and a fine ass pussy actress.

Looks like Kendall Jenner

he's gonna go mental someone post it

>I dont think puritans got naked, ever.

The Puritans weren't as uptight as people believe.

theacetheist.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/the-puritans-freaking-loved-sex-okay/

>and the lolmonsters that are actually real.
Except to the puritans in the new world the devil and witches WERE real and present dangers for them. No one wondered about them, it was taken for granted that the devil could snatch you as one of his own just by having impure thoughts. And aside from the very end there aren't any actual overt supernatural elements.

Maybe you should check out the crucible or Scarlett letter if you want something more mundane in scope.

Im meming a little bit. But puritans were such obnoxious holier than thou assholes that all of europe was more than happy to send them on their way to the new world.

>that title

sure, we believe you, relax.

I didn't wrote it, It was just in the first five google results.

The true epicure in the terrible, to whom a new thrill of unutterable ghastliness is the chief end and justification of existence, esteems most of all the ancient, lonely farmhouses of backwoods New England; for there the dark elements of strength, solitude, grotesqueness, and ignorance combine to form the perfection of the hideous.

Most horrible of all sights are the little unpainted wooden houses remote from travelled ways, usually squatted upon some damp, grassy slope or leaning against some gigantic outcropping of rock. Two hundred years and more they have leaned or squatted there, while the vines have crawled and the trees have swelled and spread. They are almost hidden now in lawless luxuriances of green and guardian shrouds of shadow; but the small-paned windows still stare shockingly, as if blinking through a lethal stupor which wards off madness by dulling the memory of unutterable things.
In such houses have dwelt generations of strange people, whose like the world has never seen. Seized with a gloomy and fanatical belief which exiled them from their kind, their ancestors sought the wilderness for freedom. There the scions of a conquering race indeed flourished free from the restrictions of their fellows, but cowered in an appalling slavery to the dismal phantasms of their own minds. Divorced from the enlightenment of civilisation, the strength of these Puritans turned into singular channels; and in their isolation, morbid self-repression, and struggle for life with relentless Nature, there came to them dark furtive traits from the prehistoric depths of their cold Northern heritage.

to travel

what movie is this

By necessity practical and by philosophy stern, these folk were not beautiful in their sins. Erring as all mortals must, they were forced by their rigid code to seek concealment above all else; so that they came to use less and less taste in what they concealed. Only the silent, sleepy, staring houses in the backwoods can tell all that has lain hidden since the early days; and they are not communicative, being loath to shake off the drowsiness which helps them forget. Sometimes one feels that it would be merciful to tear down these houses, for they must often dream.

the little goat that could

The creepiest book I ever read was the Magnalia Christi Americana by Cotton Mather. Just a collection of folk tales by puritans in New England. It was explicitly scary but the fact they actually believed such weird things made it terrifing. In one place he write how Jesus cursed a woman's womb to give birth to a litter of deformed babies (one for each heretical thought she ever had). It must have been a horrible time to be alive.

archive.org/details/magnaliachristia00math

Daily reminder that this was an awful blair witch tier movie and these threads are all troll threads

daily reminder that you havent seen the movie

Just England really.

>slut with SHITBROWN eyes and hair
FUCKING DROPPED.

the whole film gave me panic attacks. it reminded me of crazy old stories about my great grandmothers family in the hills that lived like they did in the 1700's until 1930.

I know, I was referring to the article

it was bretty good

Awesome

WHERE
IS
THE
ASS

brown eyes are fine shitlord

taste of butter, pretty dress, live deliciously

Especially hers

When will she ever get a nude scene?
I recall that was only a body double and not actually her.

MAN! this movie actually scared the hell out of me. My family migrated to the US many years ago, and a lot of their old stories about witches fit perfectly with what was depicted in this movie. Needless to say, they would tell us kids that everything was real. I don't even try to tell them otherwise. I gave up years ago. It is hard to contradict grandma when people in her village dropped a flying witch out of the sky with prayers and other mumble jumble, and killed her when she was a teenager. According to her, this is a first hand account.

Shit, I even have an uncle who had a twin brother that was abducted at night when he was 3 months old. They found him a day later out in the corn fields. He was dead and pale do to blood sucking through his testicles. They said that it was the work of a witch. As a logical adult, I think that it was the work of a crazy sick motherfucker. But the family sticks to the story of the witch.

So, in a way, this movie kind of hit home.

Faggot

>women will fuck over anyone and everyone for an easy life

factual

Daily reminder to be living deliciously

>post em rare phils

>On a scale of 1 to movie, this was a real movie. Wew.
Yep, it certainly was a movie.

It certainly had a beginning, middle, and an end.

It certainly had a runtime of one hour and thirty-three minutes.

It certainly featured a plot with a beginning, middle, and end.

It certainly aired in theaters, with an eventual release to DVD, Blu-Ray, and Digital.

It certainly had a cast and crew.

It certainly existed within a genre.

>too pure for the puritans
dudes had pride out the wazoo, lying and shit

nah dog this family couldnt keep the sin out like corey haim couldnt keep the cock out

You are so fucking funny can I have your autograph comedian sir?

Pure things getting corrupted make me psychically sick, should i stay away from this movie?

and you must be fun at parties. FUCKEN BUZZ KILL.. DIE!!!!

That's a bit extreme, isn't it?
Your sarcastic response was better.

...

Ass Webm ever?

here ya go m8

>swn cast a hex on you that makes you violently addicted to her footsweet
;_;

I thought she was a literal 10/10 in the movie but every real life picture of her is no more than a 6. I don't get it.

Yeah, it's really strange. Maybe we were just experiencing the same thing anybody would have where there's only one woman. Just like her brother I guess.

was it an ass double?
>there will never be an ass double mentioned in the credits of any movie

Looks good here though.

>the-puritans-freaking-loved-sex-okay
I sure love modern journalism

You guys are just joking when you say Anya Taylor-Joy isn't fucking cute right??

Look at the gap between her eyes and the shape of them??? Fuck me, I think she's cute as hell.

...

Great movie, the ultimate pleb filter. If someone doesn't like it, just ignore them - they'll never voice an opinion you should care about anyway.

CLACKETY CLACKETY...

not really...it doesn't unwrap that concept, despite its intentions. Maybe I didn't watch it with a clear mind but I think they rushed it. And that's bad because according to the director they really prepared for that movie.

it was a body-double.

>career my ass: the movie

...

I made this right now, just for you guys

It most certainly is horror, perhaps not a scary film to some but for sure horror

White Philip is superior

Post the ASS!

Thumbs up!

before they were famous

its just not jumpscare horror. its deeper than that.

it evokes primal dont go into the woods or you will die from the monsters horror. the fear of your mind being haunted.

lmao

...

yes, true horror

are there any other films like this? seems rather unique, at least in todays cinema

I agree. Seemed more like an art film.
Looked like something Bergman would have directed if he had been alive today. So check his movies maybe.

Black Phillip a cute

>le "it's always better if its ALL IN THEIR MINDS" meme

wew lad
lad wew

I'm kinda curious why Eggers chose a Nosferatu remake as his next project.
He seems like an awfully creative guy and he said he only did genre kino because it's more popular.

>Holy shit, you guys weren't memeing. On a scale of 1 to movie, this was a real movie. Wew.
same here

KANEDA

he has reinvented the "witch" monster now to reinvent what we think about the vampire i guess??

will do, what about ken russells The Devils perhaps?

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Wouldst thou osculum infame a Thomasin, Cred Forums?