Albus Severus Potter... you were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin...

Albus Severus Potter... you were named for two Headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin, and he was probably the bravest man I've ever known.

He also abused me and my friends everyday I interacted with him but that's okay because he helped spy on the man that killed your grandma who he wanted to cuck your grandpa with.

C U C K
U
C
K

>Also the house is named after a pure blood supremacist who literally put a giant snake in a secret chamber to kill muggle born students

>And 90% of its members that I met were are evil

>but trust me son you'll be fine if you go to Slytherin

He was a good friend.

Did Snape every do something actually "good"? And no, trying to save your waifu and then trying to get revenge is not good.

Also really fortunate Voldemort decided that while killing his most powerful servant who had served him loyally, he chose the old classic "slow death via snake bite" rather than "instantaneous death via wand."

What else did you expect from one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, kid. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

why you so mad though

Why are you so new though??

Yes snape yes very well done very well done

HOWEVER

>posting pasta make u mad

>not recognizing a stealth bump

>headmaster
>head master
lmao

nice repeating integers

He did continuously try to stop quirrell from getting to the stone

Why didn't dismantled slytherin? fuck, at least after they killed Voldemort and realized literally all slytherin sided with him

In the end shouldn't Harry have hated Dumbledore more than even Snape? Every single year Dumbledore needlessly put his life in danger, leading up to the revelation he had just been treating Harry as a sacrificial lamb the whole time.

Were the books at least more nuanced? In the films Slytherin was made out to be like a Sith Academy.

lol no

Oh yeah I forgot about the time DUMBLEDORE LITERALLY HIRED A GUY WITH VOLDEMORT IN HIS HEAD

Albus Severus Potter, a better or worse name than Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy?

Yes. Slytherin isn't just "those racist wizards" club. It's for those willing to obtain success at any cost. Those with that special talent for greatness.

Harry really always has been a Slytherin more than a Gryfindor. He never had a problem learning a dangerous spell to use, didn't have any problems cheating his way through school, and so on.

>the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
This phrase, or any variant of it, does not appear anywhere in the 891 pages of the Order of the Phoenix.

Harry was actually immortal because of the horcrux nonsense. He and Voldemort were essentially Highlanders. Only things that could destroy a horcrux (such as the basilisk) presented a real threat to Harry.

No went into more depth about how Salazar Slytherin was literally a genocidal maniac.

He's the reason the wizarding wars even started.

Its crazy that they have a school were muggle born students go to where a house that they can be put in literally wants to see them dead.

He put a fucking snake in the school to kill them yet they still have his house

Spotted the "liberal" who wants to ban everything he/she doesn't approve of.

Not really, every Slytherin is a dick except for Slughorn and Tonks's mom

save this instead

What happened to the fanfiction guy?I kinda miss him.

>being so new as to not even pay attention to others falling for the bait being called new.

>had his pick of any qt at Hogwarts
>chose the ugly ginger coalburner
why

Harry was secretely gay for Ron and that's why he went for the closest thing

>mads mikkelsen married time travelling petunia

I'm objectively and proveably not new and I've seen this pasta before, I just enjoy pointing it out to people who might not know better and who would assume that Harry Potter is anything short of children's literature kino on par with the magic faraway tree.

wut?

Luna is the only good one and even she looks like shit in that pic.

>Only things that could destroy a horcrux (such as the basilisk) presented a real threat to Harry.

Holy shit, that only just hit me. So if someone hit him with a killing curse, it would just bounce off of him.

couple in the background

Wait this isn't right, what was this copy-pasta originally for?

>Hurry James Sirius Severus Albus Hagrid Draco Remus Neville Fleur Dobby Cho Cedric Vernon Whomping Willow Dudley Aunt Marge Aragog Riddle Bane Lupin Filch Crabbe Dursley Evans Fudge Shacklebolt Potter! You might miss your train!

Gonna see the play in October. Bought the tickets for a girl who's a potterhead. Might bonk her. Wish me luck lads.

A FUCKING NIGGER

what an absolute garbage american high-school required reading tier list

>who wants to ban everything he/she doesn't approve of.
Almost a quarter of a school turning into terrorists is something to rightfully disapprove of.

HP was so obviously written in a hurry in an attempt to capitalize on its culture status.

George Martin may never finish ASOIAF, but at least what he puts out is quality

>ADWD
>quality

What about was bad?

What was the whole deal with the prophecy might as well being about Neville.
That "for either one to live the other must die" or whatever, could be about both Harry and Neville.
Half Blood prince I think.

Was that ever resolved or talked about again?

They where not terrorist once the death eaters had control over the ministry, then Potter and pals where the terrorists.

Only after the goblet of fire. Up to that point the series was solid gold.

Why do you never use the Cred Forums version?

>Daddy, why did you get such great gets for such a shitty thread?

>I'm objectively and proveably not new
I'm glad the Oval threads are dead so one has to see what a Cred Forumsermin you've become

this is like the fifth time I see this post followed by this are you the same person?

It was just to show that Harry could have had a happy normal life with his parents if Voldemort had chosen a different baby.

>Slytherin only got redeemed in the end because JK Rowling was incredibly rich at that point

>avatar
fuck off abatap.

are you cereal?

troll chart

>In one of the books (I forget which one, sue me) the sorting hat hints that each one of the houses will be important for the challenges yet to come
>Slytherin proves to be a complete detriment with no meaningful positive contributions for anything

What did he mean by this?

If I remember rightly, Neville and Harry have birthdays very close to each other and both sets of parents were in The Order of the Phoenix.

Voldemort reckoned that Harry was the greater threat, went to kill him and in doing so accidentally made him into a horcrux and thus Harry became the one from the prophecy.

If Neville's parents had been on Voldemort's radar more, then he would've went to their house first and tried to kill Neville. (Although the fact that Neville's mother would've had to sacrifice herself in the very specific way that is necessary for the prophecy to work out sort of falls apart, and it's all kinda glossed over)

>the more she drank the more she shat

>Citizen Bane

Yes?

you are the dumbest fucking tripfag on this board. everybody hates you. your real life is pathetic and desperate. please do us all a favor: take you and your pancake titties to the nearest razor blade and open your veins you pig

Great Gatsby and Les Miserables listed as "God tier"
>Fag alert!!!
You fucking swine. Do you ever feel insecure about being a trap?

blah blah about Neville being the one to kill Voldemorts last Horcurx

They had the same birthday and both sets of parents were enemies of voldemort.

>Was that ever resolved or talked about again?

It was resolved immediately. The prophecy says "he will mark him as his equal", which is what Voldemort did by giving Harry the scar.

Named him after a guy that was abusing him without a reason and a guy that was using him instead of naming him Rubeus, Serius of even Arthur, the only father figures he had that actually cared about him.

Named after a guy that couldn't get over a crush he had at age 10.

What shitass fucking plebian took time out of their NEET day to put this absolutely disgusting list together?

But the thing that kills the horcrux in the end is Voldemorts killing curse?

Sirius is the middle name of his first kid.

>Rubeus Arthur Potter, you were named after people that always cared about me out of the kindness of their hearts rather than to use me as a weapon against wizard Hitler or because they wanted to bone my mom

it only killed the Horcrux part of Harry
which somehow makes even less sense
The Elder wand was being a total dick to Voldemort

I'd Whomp his Fudge if you catch my drift.

>its a fanfag guy thread
Go back to Cred Forumsee

Well I mean the leader did help by giving Harry and dubmeldore the proof that it was horcruxes. And the malfoys didn't tell voldemort he was alive because their son was still in there or something
In a way Slytherin was more helpful in the story then Hufflepuff who did literally nothing

One of he ways a horcrux can be destroyed is by its own owner.

Fantastic post, the cunt is hated on Cred Forums and Cred Forums as well.

Wasn't his wand because Harry and Draco wrestled around on the floor in their tighty whiteys or something

the whole Snape thing was so retarded it retroactively made a mediocre series of books absolute garbage

forgot that part