Harry Potter: Official Patronus Quiz by J K Rowling

>Nebelung Cat
>Slytherin
>Pukwudgie

i'm happy

Plot convenience

Also Slytherin and Pukwudgie, but my Patronus is Lynx.

>luna fan
>being an idiot

Your patronus can change to be the same as the patronus of the person you love. A detail that was just thrown in for plot convenience.

Haven't done the patronus quiz yet but am a Ravenclaw and then got Pukwudgie. Fucking sucks to go from a cool Ravenclaw to American Hufflepuff. Why didn't I get Thunderbird.

>implying I want to pretend I'm in one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises
Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Dude hella f*cking epic

>coming to tv
>talking shit
90% of what you discuss is pure shit and potter is better
If you want to go circlejerk in a lotr thread go

How does being a pastafag work? Do you have a notepad file on your desktop filled with these things? Why do it at all, especially on things like this where there's no real cleverness to it?

Because now she's a fucking billionaire. Authors don't become billionaires.

A patronus charm is actuallt cool unlike one of the dullest shitposts in the history of movie shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ wizards and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitposts only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta?all to make fantasy unfantastical to make witchcraft seem kiddie.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/ directing the shitposts at Cred Forums, he made sure the shitposts would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-posting for his (You). The shitposts might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-atmospherical anaylsis in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are g-g-good though
"No!"

The writing is dreadful; the books were terrible and the films were much better. As I read, I noticed that everytime he shitposts, Quentin wrote instead that Brave New World "was a low tier form of art."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. The shitposters mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

being a Pukwudgie is fine.

Thunderbird
>Description: Each of the four Ilvermorny houses is said to represent a different part of the ideal wizard. Thunderbird is the “soul” and “favors adventurers,” according to the Pottermore description.

Horned Serpent
>Description: The Horned Serpent is said to represent the mind of a wizard, and favors scholars. Because of that whole aura, it’s easy to imagine Horned Serpent students remaining a little aloof from their brethren.

Pukwudgie
>Description: The Pukwudgie, true to their namesake creature’s role in protecting Isolt Sayre from her deadly aunt, represents the heart of a wizard, and favors healers.

Who is the best wizardess and why is it Luna?

For the (You)s. This site is full losers and actual autists

Luna's fans have ruined her for me.

You know every girl who's ever read the books or seen the movies is gonna say she relates most to Luna, because "Lol she's just so quirky and weird and you know, she's not like everyone else so, like, I think I'm most like her, lol".

I got Horned Serpent, but I never took the Hogwarts quiz, because I was already in the superior Murrican school so why bother going to a second-rate school in Shitstain, I mean Britain.

>obligatory "Voldemort would never have taken over America"

>tfw both gryffindor and thunderbird

I got my waifu

>self-censorship
>"hella"
>"epic"
>no // on Cred Forums

I don't even think reddit is awful enough for you

Fuck off back to the YouTube comments section

You are correct.
Her book sales didnt make her a billionaire.
The movies did.

>He got a snake patronus
D... Does this mean you're a dark wizard?

King has had large amounts of his work adapted. Is he a billionaire yet?

>Fox
>Gryffindor
>Thunderbird

>login

Come back once you get a mirror version like some user got for the house sorting, then we'll take your quiz.

google says 400M which is certainly nothing to shake a stick at

>it's a Cred Forums is so stuck up they can't appreciate a simple fantasy story for kids episode

If the self censorship wasn't a red flag enough why did you take the bait so hard?

Well i am not a girl.

I am a big fat bald dude with a bad temper and i havent read or watched a Harry Potter book or movie, but Luna is still my favorite.

>being a gay cunt and not a mean cunt
freaking faggot

There's nothing stuck up about Cred Forums, it's just full of contrarians. They'll enjoy anything from the trashiest garbage to the highest forms of cinema as long as no one else likes it.

Thia what's ironic is they truly think lord of the rings is any better. I can smell the neckbeard. Niggers freaking out over the fantasy genre and real wizards are actually angry at fictional wizards

That's still way short of a billion. I don't know if you remember what it was like, when the final books rolled out it was always fucking insane. Lines that went out doors and down the street. For a BOOK. No one does for anything in recent memory.

I heard pic related was gonna be her but it didn't work out.

What could have been

Kek

Yea luna fans are 80% shit

If you use the word "contrarian," you're literally an idiot. It's an invented concept by idiots with reddit sensibilities who are too fragile to deal with criticism of mediocre media that has widespread appeal.

It's a troubling manifestation of millennials' mental weakness. Seriously, the only people who would even entertain any "argument" involving the concept of being "contrarian" are weak, lazy idiots who can't deal with criticism substantively.

If it bothers you that much that people criticize mediocre mass-marketed work designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, like Star Wars, Breaking Bad, pop music, etc., you should find a safe bubble and stay there(Cred Forums). Or kill yourself.

Unicorn, niggas

I don't even know what that means. I stopped reading the books after Sirius died and didn't obsess over the books. Did I do good?

lol hipsters

Same thing with Arya Stark, I find.

It seems like a rule that the girls who say "I relate to Arya because I don't like traditionally girl things and I'm a tomboy and etc etc" are much more in line with pre-series Sansa.

What's funny is this is the film board and they think discussion of one of the biggest franchises ever is reddit. When in fact reddit are actually bookfags that don't appreciate the movoes because they are different and their own medium. I just want to talk about the movies if I'm in the thread yet every thread is a shit flinging fest

Literally kill yourself unironically advocating censorship because you don't like something and trying that hard.

>Lily patronus is evidence of how much she loved James
>Snape changes his to match Lily's

What a cuck

Stop posting sersh like anyone cares ourside of your little circlejerk club. Please

>movoes
Go back to Cred Forums or whatever board you crawled out of after you saw baneposting

I got a nigger.

>getting this assmad over a typo
Committ suicide

Lel, let's not pretend that Cred Forums are purveyors of quality and excellence.

Cred Forums is a fat manchild sitting in his basement with nothing to claim for himself but his "high artistic taste", which he waves around in a Tumblr-esque circlejerk echo chamber to feel better about being infinitely less well-adjusted and socially capable as all the plebeian normies they deride.

>still here after getting blown the fuck out

What are you talking about, masturbator alligator?

>tfw a fucking stoat

Come on man. I'm as white as you are.

wanna fight?

Join the club

>what's ironic is they truly think lord of the rings is any better

It is friend.

Got some dumb rhino thing that I don't think is even mentioned in the books

Apparently when it charges things it blows them up Allahu Akbar style

Also I got put in griffindor which is fucking lame

>replying with your new memepic
Proving him right. You fags discuss absolutely nothing in the lotr threads concerning the films because they are so vanilla as fuck. Not knocking tolkien but its fantasy. Both have to do with comraderie and sacrifice and perserverance etc.

I remember when I was thirteen too I loved them. But I since can analyze shit direction

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

>>replying with your new memepic
Pretty ironic considering your last posts ITT

I recall it being mentioned in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. That book was critical to our ability to create Harry Potter based apothecaries/zoos growing up.

>magpie
How the fuck am I supposed to scare Dementors with a fucking pigeon?

At least I didn't get Hufflepuff

underrated

Black Mamba
Slytherin
Puckwudgie
Cedar Wand

dun stallion
hufflepuff
thunderbird
fucking unicorn or some shit

tell it to me straight Cred Forums
am i gay?

beagle here

Can we agree it's weird how many people get the Slytherin Pukwudgie combo? Are we all just really ambitious healers? What the fuck does that mean?

Puckwudgie is a retarded name and it's fucking shitty that she gives no better description than it being "wizard's heart" and "healers"

I Have...

>Ravenclaw
Nice, the cool, intelligent, good looking kids of Hogwarts. What more could you want?

>Alder wood with a Dragon heartstring core 13" and Slightly Springy flexibility

No problem with this. Apparently a lot of people have phoenix feather cores and it's supposed to be rare. Rowling broke it.

>Pukwudgie
Fuck no. The Nu-Males of Wizard America. Why would this happen to me?

>Irish Wolfhound
Okay,I guess. Nothing special or exciting but just okay.

Yes, yes you are.

>need a Pottermore accunt

Fuck you too Rowling

...

It said my Patronus was unusual, and that it needed to ask an extra question. Is that a standard thing, or does it actually mean something?

10000000 points from Gryffindor

Can the quiz detect manlets?

C R O W
R
O
W

I can live with that

Means you're a bigger ape than most of the retards that like harry potter

Guys I'm scared.

A giant cock

You spiky

What was Lily's patronus, not a doe, right? That was just Snape's because doe = Prong's wife = Lily? Which is even more cucky desu.

Irish Wolfhound is part of the reason that wolves have been extinct in Ireland for over 400 years. Really great dogs as pets though.

my patronus is mai waifu

>even Hay Potter knows that you're a pussy

>Login
Dropped.

ocicat and slytherin

fuck this gay earth

>Your Patronus is a... Nightjar

#DICKSOUT

>log in or join

no thanks

Lily most likely developed a doe patronus because of how much she loved James who had a stag patronus and animagi form.

my patronus prob be a dragon or some other form of mythical badass monster yall

...

>why are we still talking about this thinly-veiled Marxist propaganda a single mother dreamed up while she was on welfare?
I don't know, because it's entertaining? Because it's fun? Because it's Cred Forums and not Cred Forums?

Anyway I got a Nibelung Cat and Hufflepuff. Neither of these things are badass. But I do like cats.

Somebody didn't read the backstory. A Puckwudie is basically a goblin and it's one of the most important magical creatures to Isolt, the founder of Ilvermony, because it was her first and most loyal friend in America and the one who saved her family from being murdered by her evil aunt.

William the Puckwudgie fucked a bitch up, jumping in through a windowsill and shooting a poison arrow through the witch's heart that turned her to ash. Then he told Isolt she was a bitch for only calling him when she needed something from him, moved his family into her house and hustled her into paying him to protect the place.

literally the only thing I want in this lifetime is a Harry Potter MMO with VR capabilities

I got the same thing and then got Hyena so?

I figured it meant you would get a mythical creature but nope.

>rattlesnake patronus
>then sorted into Slytherin

welp, guess I'm evil

> the questions are timed
What happens if I don't answer?
I'm not good under pressure can somebody post the questions so I have time to think them over lol.

Fucc I read that so long ago I forgot

Sounds pretty based desu

>login

wow

gotta go fast

>five choices
>a chew dog

weeeew

>Ravenclaw
>Horned Serpent
So am I a super Nerd?

>Holly wood with Unicorn hair core
Not sure what to make of this.

Also for those like me who don't want to sign up here's mirrors of the quizzes for hogwartz, ilvermorny, and your wand. The patrons quiz was just released so there aren't any mirrors yet.

>gotoquiz.com/pottermore_sorting_quiz_all_possible_question

>gotoquiz.com/complete_pottermore_ilvermorny_sorting

>playbuzz.com/terryraynor10/which-wand-would-you-be-given-in-the-world-of-harry-potter

Why are so obsessed with Cred Forums, Cred Forums?

It just moves on to another

they aren't actually questions, just 3 words that you pick one of

>Supposed to be answered from the heart on impulse
>Can somebody post all the possible answers so I can analyze them first

Fuck off Ravencuck.

You can send a perfectly fine and ontopic thread to the archive, but you won't delete this garbage roleplaying shit?
jesus christ, T. just stay on myspace LOL

They say "try again" and then never ask you again

I guess it's a trap, and if you miss them all you get a sloth or something

It's just that I always immediately regret my choice once I've answered.

haha nice!

retweeted

>Irish Wolfhound

for anyone wondering

Gryffindor

>Bravery
>Nerve
>Chivalry
>Courage
>Daring
>Strength of Will
>Justice
>Honour
>Courtesy

Hufflepuff

>Dedication
>Hard Work
>Fair play
>Patience
>Kindness
>Tolerance
>Unafraid of Toil

Slytherin

>Resourcefulness
>Cunning
>Ambition
>Leadership qualities
>Self-Preservation
>Determination
>Cleverness
>Fraternity
>Power

Ravenclaw

>Intelligence
>Wit
>Wisdom
>Creativity
>Originality
>Individuality
>Acceptance

...

What animals are there? Cat, Lynx, Fox, ...?
How does it work, is there one for each combination (so a lot of possibilities) or are there like 5?

The questions on that site are fucked up

You can EASILY see which one you answer will sort you into what house, shit like are you PROUD VAIN OR SMART

And then on the house sorting section, they literally have the fucking House Colours.

Plus there's going to be bias from everyone wanting to be Gryfinndor because of how the films made everyone else out to be a fucking nerd, spastic mongoloid or basically a bunch of murderous racists.

My patronus is Scooter from the Gobots.

Pretty good senpai

mugglenet.com/2016/09/complete-list-pottermore-patronuses-far/

Aardvark
Abraxan Winged Horse
Adder
Badger
Basset Hound
Bat
Bay Mare
Bay Stallion
Beagle
Black and White Cat
Black Bear
Black Mare
Black Mamba
Black Stallion
Black Swan
Blackbird
Bloodhound
Borzoi
Brown Bear
Brown Hare
Brown Owl
Buffalo
Buzzard
Calico Cat
Capuchin Monkey
Cheetah
Chestnut Mare
Chestnut Stallion
Chow Dog
Crow
Dapple Grey Mare
Dapple Grey Stallion
Deerhound
Doe
Dolphin
Dragon
Dragonfly
Dun Mare
Dun Stallion
Eagle
Eagle Owl
Elephant
Erumpent
Falcon
Field Mouse
Fire-Dwelling Salamander
Fox
Fox Terrier
Ginger Cat
Goshawk
Granian Winged Horse
Grass Snake
Great Grey Owl
Grey Squirrel
Greyhound
Hare
Hedgehog
Heron (J.K. Rowling’s Patron1us)
Hippogriff
Hummingbird
Huskey
Hyena
Ibizan Hound
Impala
Irish Wolfhound
King Cobra
Kingfisher
Leopard
Leopardess
Lion
Lioness
Little Owl
Lynx
Magpie
Manx Cat
Marsh Harrier
Mastiff Dog
Mink
Mole
Mongrel Dog
Mountain Hare

Hufflepuff actually sounds like the nicest people but Idk I just don't wanna be a fucking Hufflepuff. Did the test ages ago but can't log into my old account, think I was a Slytherin.

Nebelung Cat
Newfoundland
Nightjar
Occamy
Ocicat
Orangutan
Orca
Oryx
Osprey
Otter
Peacock
Pheasant
Piebald Mare
Piebald Stallion
Pine Marten
Polar Bear
Polecat
Python
Ragdoll Cat
Rat
Rattlesnake
Raven
Red Squirrel
Rhinoceros
Robin
Rottweiler
Runespoor
Russian Blue Cat
Saint Bernard
Salmon
Scops Owl
Seal
Shark
Shrew
Siberian Cat
Snowy Owl
Sparrow
Sparrowhawk
Sphinx Cat
Stag
Stoat
Swallow
Swift
Thestral
Tiger
Tigress
Tiny Owl
Tonkinese Cat
Tortoiseshell Cat
Unicorn
Vole
Vulture
Weasel
West Highland Terrier
White Mare
White Stallion
White Swan
Wild Boar
Wild Hare
Wild Rabbit
Wildcat
Wolf
Wood Mouse

Holy fuck, so there really is one for every single answer combination?
I don't want a fucking Beagle or Elephant, wtf.

i honestly don't know what rowling was thinking writing a book set in britain in the 90's where one of the 4 major houses are called the puffs

i mean just imagine how fucking hard anyone in hufflepuffters would get bullied

>Salmon
lmao

so what happy thoughts were you guys thinking?

OH SHIT NIGGA

>swim upstream

Anyone with a Salmon Patronus is obviously gay

That time I won an Olympic Bronze medal

The same reason these children of all ages discuss superhero movies, game of thrones, dr who, supernatural and whatever else

quote unquote "nerd culture"

> tfw can't think of anything

>Self-Preservation

What's interesting about this is in the Slytherin introduction they say a Slytherin looks out for one another and are brothers and that it's actually Ravenclaw who are willing to throw one another under the bus to get ahead.

that time i nutted in my girlfriend 2 days ago

Slytherin is such a fucking lie. Complete blockheads like Malfoy's henchmen show none of these qualities aside from possibly Power, yet are thrown into Slytherin on account of it just straight up being the house of evil.

Hufflepuff still confirmed for worst. Its basically the friendzoned house. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw are both the obvious best although Gryffindor feels a bit too try-hard for me.

>tfw you can make a hundred million people argue about their spirit animal

>Mole

The fuck.

I tried to think of my ex but it ended horribly. So then I though of going out with coworkers and getting really fucked up. But none of them talk to me anymore.

Ended up a Hyena. Irony.

>mfw my patronus is shitty dog
>mfw I deleted my cookies

>/lit/
I know the HP books aren't exactly good, but is there a single non-pretentious books this cunts actually enjoy?

WE

WE SNEKS GOT MERLIN BITCH

That's cool I guess. My Irish Wolfhound patronus can rough up your wolf patronus.

The hat says what you VALUE, not what you ARE

Neville was a fucking pussy when he arrived but he WANTED to be brave, and he admired and valued bravery.

> tfw Marsh Harrier

NO DO-OVERS

Does that work?

But user he was always brave at the bottom of his heart!

I havent read/watched harry potter past Flaming goblet. Ill assume Malfoy was a weak pansy to the end

Yes.
Use this
10minutemail.com

>Borzoi
for the retards

he ends up with the elder wand and briefly becomes the most powerful wizard of all time

his ingenuity causes hogwarts to get taken over and causes countless deaths

not sure how he was ever set free in the end

Don't respond to a faggot. I love harry potter and lotr and I hate game of thrones and capeshit.

>Like something popular that I don't like
>Le pretentious you like game of thrones and capeshit
I never go in those threads

Kek that's even worse than a fucking bird.

>Robin
Wow, I didn't knew that's an animal.

Depends on what your definition on what isn't a ""pretentious"" book

Why do they look like they are 60 y.o just 19 yrs after ?

This post is pretentious

Because they're poorly made movies only made to make more money for WB and Horns retirement fund. Pretty basic stuff my friend. Mind you though that picture related is in his late 70s and a bong so anything is possible.

Prosthetics they reshot it at first they filmed without prosthetics and the scene was also different

Lily gave Snape a pity handjob and then had a wicked crotch itch.

>Ravenclaw
>Hoenwd serpent
>a stoat

Kek the rest of the films look great you fucking mong

>then he said "da rest of the film look great"

>Hyena
>Slytherin
>Thunderbird
>Black Walnut wood with a unicorn hair core, 9 ½" and unyielding flexibility

Thoroughly satisfied.

I want an elephant so much desu

Hyenas are ugly as fuck tho

>seale
>pratt
>sesserin
>idziak
>delbonnel
>serra
Delicious desu

It matches user then

STAR PLATINUM

>being a contrarian about the word "contrarian"
Next-level shit right here.

>Piebald Stallion

They're just wild aggressive puppers

They look like crippled over-growth pugs.

>Implying I'm some fag who wants a pussy as "cute" cat or dog patronus.

Hyenas are fucking vicious and eat dindus in Africa all the time.

Mate hyenas are literally niggers of animal world.

YES YES YES YES

>summoning the ghost of a dindu to protect you

wew lad

>he runs away laughing

r8 me

>not pitbulls
lmao
fuck off cunt

fucking loser/10. How old are, 15?

What? Pitbulls are actually very friendly dogs. They're often family dogs.

but they're chimps I thought this was obvious

King Cobra
Ravenclaw
Horned Serpent

Chimps are smarter than niggers.

heres your (you)vote

More like Wampussy

No it's true.

Any dog can go apeshit and bite people. It's not just pitbull thing, you know?

haha slither slather good luck scaring dementors away long boy

also this

Sparrow Hawk
Ravenclaw

>Hufflepuffs are THIS mad that someone got the equivalent to Gryffindor

>I don't even know what that means.
It means you're a virgin

>What's your patronus?

What's your patronus?

You're asking me what's my patronus?

My Patronus

is

Up your Mum

Is Wampus Gryffindor or is Thunderbird?

Ravenclaw is obviously snek and Puff is Goblin.

...

>Cho Chang took test and came out Thunderbird
>Luna Lovegood took test and came out Thunderbird
I don't know how to break it to you lad, J.K.'s a bit of a hack when it comes to stuff like this.

>Wampus - Big lolcat
>Gryffindor - Big lolcat

>Ravenclaw - Birb
>Thunderbird - Birb

>Slytherin - Snek
>Horned Serpent - Snek

>Hufflepuff - Badger
>Pukwudgie - Nigger

It all correlates, and it's that simple really

how big is your guys wand
>tfw when 13.25 inches
>feelsgoodman

The actresses took the test tard not the characters.

And Rowling herself has said they're not meant to be parallels but Horned Serpent and Ravenclaw are clearly meant to correlate as they're both the smart academic house and the founder of the house wanted to be a Ravenclaw.

...

Cucks have the same protonus as the people they wanted to fuck

I see all these fucking wand descriptions and I can't not think of them as dicks

I bet Rowling had a great time writing those books.

>desktop

Nigga pls...

how can wandlets even compete?

>Black mare
>Gryffindor
>Pukwudgie
>12.5'' Beech wand with Phoenix-feather core, solid flexibility

not bad

>Only gay dude gets anal beads

deepest lore

and deepest anal fissures

>mastiff
>ravenclaw
>thunderbird
>13 inch maple with dragon hair core and supple flexibility

Fucking come at me cunts

>Ravencucks thinking they're better than anyone

>tfw got cat patronous

at least i got put in gryffindor and not hufflepuff

niggers

I bet you got hufflepuff didn't you you fucking c u c k

I got White Swan. I'm okay with that.

I'M A FUCKING RAGDOLL CAT
I'M A FLUFFY AS FUCK CAT

i love ragdoll cats but i don't know how effective is that against dementors.

>Chestnut Mare
>Gryffindor
>Horned Serpent
>Hazel Wood with a dragon heartstring core 13" and surprisingly swishy flexibility
Howd I do

if you aren't in ravenclaw then you're literally retarded

>He thinks Biel could ever love a Ravencuck

>thinks anyone EVER could love a backstabbing slytherin babbie

>Hyena
kek. And was your wand too small?

Redditclaw are the kind of people who answer mind and intelligence and think they're superior for choosing Team Mystic. The ones who were bullied in school and so they have to believe muh brain over brawn to make themselves feel significant when we all know Slytherin and Gryffindor get the bitches.

>best student of the school
>decides to reserch beforehand and chooses gryffindor as the best house
>house cups
>top grades even with one professor hating her
Were dumbeldore and mcgonagal retarded too? Or was snape and slughorn?

You can be smart and choose a better cooler house ie Gryffindor and Slytherin

i got a mole wtf

Your really wanna play the manlet game when this is your head of house Ravencuck?

why did they redesign him to look like theodore roosevelt

That's the thing Ravenclaw isn't where all smart people go it's where the speds who have nothing but their intelligence go. That's why all of their traits are just synonyms for intelligence.
>Members of this house are characterised by their wit, learning, and wisdom

The most prominent Ravenclaw in the series literally has autism.

>Were dumbeldore and mcgonagal retarded too? Or was snape and slughorn?

No, Rowling was.

No to mention the only house with a fucking sword. You think hermione cant put 2 and 2 together and pick tbe house with the fucking sword?

Why would hermione want to be in the same house as Looney Lovegood?

I mean, my aunt had a chow when I was little. So I guess this kind of fits?

Kek

Exactly

>Quirrell
>Luna
>Trelawney
>Lockhart

Goddamn he's right. They're literally the house of autists.

>all these retards mad they weren't put in ravenclaw
Fucking everyone hates the people in slytherin ans gryffindor is just full of retards thinking they're "brave".

could be worse

Dead BLM protester.

Exactly was meant for this Yea Full blown autism is ravenclaw

Rate me

Pine Marten's are kawaii desu

Rowena Ravenclaw was a fucking nutcase too.

>gryffindor
HA gayyyy

Slytherin myself. I love the series but I wish Rowling was a little more talented in writing a balanced story. It feels like she later retconned Merlin into Slytherin just to give a reason to say SEE NOT ALL SLYTHERIN ARE BAD. Because despite saying that literally every Slytherin she wrote about is bad.

I'd like to see a good Slytherin in Fantastic Beasts.

Neato.

lmao at least I'm not a hufflepuff

I'm cool with it.

>tfw got 9 inch manlet wand

I have to think most of you lied and answered tall when it asked. No way all of you are getting 13 and 14 inch wands.

...

Hufflepuff is for retards
Ravenclaw is for autists
And Slytherin is for school shooters.

So basically anything but Gryffindor is losing?

Reminder Slytherin and Gryffindor have a respectful rivalry and everyone in the school knows they are the only good houses because the losers go in the other two.

Slytherins and Gryffindors may dislike eachother but they are like the yankees and the red sox. Without eachother it would be no fun. CLASSIC

Gryffindor is tryhards.

>he says when RAVENCLAWS are the most tryhards ITT

Gryffindor
>impulsive idiots

Ravenclaw
>autistic faggots

Slytherin
>edgy sociopaths

Hufflepuff
>DUDE WEED

Can I just get a new school?

No no, Ravenclaws are autists. Follow the narrative man.

Are you roleplaying you piece of fucking tumblrina shit

So which one did you get?

Also hufflepuff isn't >DUDE WEED it's more like
>pathetic losers

Patronus
>Eagle

House: Gryffindor

2nd House: Thunderbird

Wand: Elm wood w/ Unicorn hair core

Wtf

>he wouldn't put up with that for a chance to go to fucking Hogwarts

The autists on this board are tryhards tho

>Can I just get a new school?

I always wondered if there were "houses" in other schools like Durmstrang or if the house system was only reflective of British boarding schools in Hogwarts like the French female school was reflective of a girl's finishing school

>shits on everyone
>nobody Understands me
>gawd everyone sucks

Hmmm... This is easy. You belong in
SLYTHERIN

Houses are British as fuck. I can't see schools outside of the Anglosphere having them.

There is literally nothing wrong with being autistic.

Nah gryffindor is naturally good people.
Either morally or intelligent or body wise.

Gryffindor is talent.

tfw slytherin and gf is huffepuff and we dressed up for Harry Potter world at Universal and all the employees roleplayed with us

Well the Pottermore site has the American school and there are 4 houses. Thunderbird, Horned Serpent, Wampus, and Pukwudgie.

Do you know what a grass snake is? They're the pussies of the snake world. Don't even bite.

Cormac McLaggan was designed to embody the negative traits of Gryffindor, not all Gryffindors are worth anything.

Lol

There actually is its why this board is terrible please leave

>trying this hard

Thanks for proving my point friendo.

I guess it could be worse.

But I am not Gryffindor. I definitely belong in Ravenclaw.

heron is pretty tight my man

>Hufflepuff

FUCKING BULLSHIT THE JEWS DID THIS

Their highs are still worth more than the other houses combined

Even fred and george made big

It's kinda neat too cause I'm part Lithuanian and those are considered lucky there.

Am I the only nigga who got Wampus? It's literally the house for Chads.

Tell me more.
Are these four houses just direct equivalents to the hogwarts houses or do they have an american spin to it?

But without the based autists we would have more tumblreddit trash like you ruining it even more than you already do.

I got a snowy owl senpai, does this make me cool?

Eh sort of? I didn't really read too deep into it. They seem to be amalgamations from what I remember skimming.

>cat
>pudgiewudgie

>Can I just get a new school?
>I always wondered if there were "houses" in other schools

Umm...Have you done the Ilvermony quiz? It's for an American school.

Horned Serpent
>Autism squared. Mary Sueville

Wampus
>Knuckle Draggers

Thunderbird
>Deadbeats

Pukwudgie
>Beta servants

Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are pretty much copy pasted, but Slytherin and Griffindor got a bit of a mix em up with some traits from both going to two different houses.

This

>Slytherin
>Thunderbird
>Wand is Sycamore wood with a Dragon heartstring

And Patronus is a motherfucking Thestral.

Damn it feels good to be a gangster

>mfw todler nephew has autism
>mfw I laugh at these
>mfw I feel terrible every time

I'm sorry buddy.

>the American school
Quite genuinely frankly and honestly I think Rowling missed a big opportunity creatively not making magic around the world take the shape of its local form and lore.

Magic and magical schools in Europe are centered around European folklore and castles and dragons and wands and shit. It'd make sense for an American "school" to be centered around native American mysticism magic and shaman type rods instead of wands and rituals. A Caribbean school would have voodoo magic. Etc.

That is a shame.

I always wanted to see more schools in the harry potter universe. Durmstrang and that french slut school seemed interesting.

Especially american magic schools would probably be amazing to see.
Or other european schools.

I never understood this. I feel like Gryffindor would be the ones most likely to smoke weed.

Hufflepuff are the loyal and trustworthy ones. They follow the rules. They'd probably get peer pressured into it by a Gryffindor.

holy shit

does that mean it can only be seen by people that have seen death like normal thestrals?

Don't worry lads, we will have the next development of the HP universe within the decade.

nigger

>Manx cat
>House Thunderbird because murican

Not bad.

It's literally exactly as you described it. In the short story she wrote about Ilvermorny (the American school), she noted that many of the first few generations of students were a mix of English settlers and Native Americans. I even recall a paragraph about some of the curriculum including Native American "Shamanistic" magics.

>he says while unironically shitposting about autism
Autism is not based neither is your cancer

Horned Serpent, Wampus, and Thunderbird are all fine. Pukwudgie is literally suicide tier though.
>it was founded by a fucking muggle

Thunderbird are adventurers like Indiana Jones, how are they deadbeats?

>It'd make sense for an American "school" to be centered around native American mysticism magic

It is though...did you read it at all? The only reason it even has some of the things like the British idea of houses is that the founder was Irish and dreamed of going to Hogwarts.

But it is moving away from schools a little.

Fantastical Beast and in which hole to fuck them doesn't look bad but it still seems to be quintessentially british just not about schools anymore.

It may not be ""based"", but it is certainly more ""based"" than your newfrog ideals ruining this board.

Here's the wiki:
harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Ilvermorny_School_of_Witchcraft_and_Wizardry

"ventually, the school enrolled more students, and the couple were able to provide wands not just for their children but for the other students too. These students were Native Americans of the Wampanoag and the Narragansett tribes who shared their knowledge of magic in return for being taught the technique involved with wandwork. Therefore, Native American magic became involved in the foundations of Ilvermorny. Over the next few years, the school grew even more and by 1634, there were enough children for inter-house competitions."

See
Rowling got backlash for sterotyping native americans

>Are these four houses just direct equivalents to the hogwarts houses or do they have an american spin to it?
Pukwudgie is definitely HufflePuff and give off a servile vibe. Their mascots are some kinfd of noble savage goblins.

Wampus is definitely Gryffindor. Brave, strong and all that shit nothing interesting. A wampus is some kind of Native American cat so there's a similarity to the G'dor lion.

Thunderbirds sound and look like Ravenclawat first but they value adventure rather than intelligence.

Horned Serpent sounds and looks like Slytherin but they value Intelligence.

>Rowling got backlash for sterotyping native americans
But it sounds awesome.

Also if that shit were in the books it would be in the movies and that would mean more roles for native americans.

That was very short sighted of the native americans.

>Eagle
>Slytherin
>Horned Serpent

I guess I really want to be edgy, but in a charismatic way.

Pretty good tbqh

>Rowling got backlash for sterotyping native americans

How the fuck. She barely wrote about them and it's not a fucking stereotype it's just common sense that redskins who practiced magic who be drawn to the fucking magic school.

You've got the last two wrong. Rowling specifically said there aren't direct correlations but too many people just see SNEK = SNEK and don't pay attention.

>Isolt desperately wanted to be in Ravenclaw
>Horned Serpent represents the mind
>It produces the most scholars

It's clearly Ravenclaw all the way.

I see a lot of argument over Wampus and Thunderbird though.

Thunderbird is very free spirited and brave with Chadwick standing up to the evil witch. Wampus was founded a little insecurely wanting to be the ones that would always win and so choosing an animal that is basically unkillable and valuing warriors.

But there's also compelling reasons for why Thunderbird is Slytherin and Wampus is Gryffindor.

>Fantastical Beast and in which hole to fuck them

Can't wait for that porn parody, where's Dick Bush?

>That was very short sighted of the native americans.

Bruh you know it wasn't them complaining. They don't give a fuck about anything they got their casinos. It's white people. It's never indians complaining about the Washington Redskins either it's white people.

Frankly, I think that Rowling is either bad at research or she is not really bothered about doing this properly.

The whole story of the founding of the American school is how some dumb bitch runs away from home, wanders around in the forest and finds 3 other people who don't have much to contribute or much personality. She creates the houses with these sorry excuses for 'characters'. Her crazy aunt shows up one night to kill them and they kill her.

That's the epic story of the founding of Ilvermony. I wonder if the Hogwarts origin story is shit too. Magical School histories should be crap like this.

>sterotyping native americans

It wasn't about stereotyping. Native Americans were mad because it portrayed Skinwalkers as innocent wizard Animagi who were slaughtered by Native American Shamans.

That's like if she revealed that Voldemort was actually the pope who branded wizards as Satanists and killed them. Imagine the outrage then.

I was a little turned off by the fact that this untrained little welp of a girl ran away to America and founded her own school.

Like how the fuck would she even know how to do a majority of the shit she was going to be trying to teach. It took place in the 1600s and no America was barely even founded and she couldn't go back to the UK where all the knowledge was at.

So it was literally her muggle husband and a bunch of fucking indians.

Maybe that is just how brits view americans.
Like kids running away from home.

Maybe an american writer would do a better job at writing an american version of harry potter schools.

It really shouldn't even have houses. They would've abolished them when they got their independence.

The way she wrote that school with the native american roots and following a british template makes Ilvermorny more canadian than american.

>it portrayed Skinwalkers as innocent wizard Animagi who were slaughtered by Native American Shamans.

when the fuck was that

Feels pretty good

Well, it said they were persecuted. Also, Native Shamans were mostly muggle frauds. Not that I disagree but this reaction would be no different to what would happen if Rowling said the Pope is a Muggle fraud pretending to have magical powers from god or something.

This wasn't about race. More like religion. Native Americans were complaining.

Rate me lads

Ez

I really don't know what Rowling was thinking. It all gets so vague when the part actually about the founding of the school comes.

>Maybe an american writer would do a better job at writing an american version of harry potter schools.

If it was some other country, maybe. But information about American culture is everywhere. Everyone consumes American media. If not perfect, It could have been a lot better than what it is.

So you all made pottermore accounts for this shit?

This is really working for them.

>But information about American culture is everywhere.
Yeah but this is specifically about perspective.
You think it is a coincidence that an european imagining an american school would start it with a kid running away from home?

>Heron (J.K. Rowling’s Patronus)
Oh, I guess it's good. Also phoenix feather seems to be the rarest, so that's great.

...

R8 it fags

I was at a total loss :(

when will they ever learn?

Alright. What do you want me to do? List out every positive aspect of the films? Then wait for you to meme arrow my comment up and say "Ha, no" In response to each one. Also saying something is "vanilla" is an empty critique. What a worthless post

>quite bendy