You are the president of the United States

You are the president of the United States.

You have received information about a creature called the thing and its infection rate.

You just learned that the thing landed in Siberia 2 days ago.

What do you do?

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Firebomb the area.

Well it probably hasn't infected Moscow yet so you just declared war on russia

Doesnt matter. The Thing is apocalyptic. It being in Antarctica with no access to fish or birds was a gift from God. Kill it at all costs.

Well being as intelligent as it is it probably infected fish and birds. So how do you deal with quarantine?

It's over if you can't nuke it into nonexistence. Every living life form is easy prey. The moment it spreads, it's over worldwide. Not like we can purge the seas, every organism there would be Thinged.

Maybe you could just go underground and let nothing in. But I guess thing rats would get in and kill you. Might as well just ride a nuke down to earth and hope by nuking everything the thing dies and life can find a way in a few million years.

Release The Blob

Recall all personnel and leave it alone. It only got out in the movies cause people disturbed its tomb

do a flamethrower sweep of siberia and kill everyone. all soldiers sent must have a large visible implant put into their face, if the implant is to disappear in any way they are to be incinerated on the spot.

Keep my mouth shut and wait to die.

You mean changed.

Just nuke it all. Either way it's over. At least you'll be the guy who killed everyone.

yeah thats what I was thinking. All it needs is one bird or fish and its game over. It would infect most sea life in a couple months. Take over the skies in around the same.

I honestly have no idea how one would combat it

It would have probably gotten some fish no?

>Obtain large quantities of meth, sex toys, porn and hookers.
>Retreat to secure location

>meth
white trash spotted

Complete nuclear bombardment.

Awaken our AI overlord system to fight it

Tactical nuke of the area. Declare infected sight a no go zone all animals are to shoot on sight and bodies incinerated. All personal leaving the area submit to a blood test any attempt to resist is grounds for immediate summary execution.

Fire obviously doesn't work, get those helicopters that drop water on forest fires to dump it with liquid nitrogen, once it's on ice shoot it into space

>Fire obviously doesn't work
did you not see the movie?

Yeah I did, it worked so well they all got out fine right? Fire scared it off, a nuke couldn't be guaranteed to get every last cell, the best thing to do would be to put it back into suspended animation

We don't even know if Thing can reproduce. For all we know it just wants to live peacefully in the wild until it dies of old age.

Wait a minute.... Didn't you have braces before?

BOMB!
youtube.com/watch?v=ZqAtOEBNURw

>2 days ago

Move to Antarctica and live off of hopefully-not-assimilated penguins and boiled water until I run out of supplies I guess. The second I see someone or something that doesn't belong in Antarctica other than me I'm blowing my fucking brains out.

Well it build a fucking space ship so I'm guessing it can live long enough to invent shit

Nuke it from orbit, only way to be sure.

fortunately we have drones and nuclear weapons for this

Did you not see the movie? The cells were still alive even after the fire

Good luck explaining it to the commies

People seem to be missing the scale of this. If it landed 2 days ago it's already way too late. It could spread to a bird, and by then it could a thousand miles away in any direction in two days, give or take. This would be an apocalypse event. When I was sure it was too late I'd just launch all the nukes we had, and end everything. If we can't have the earth neither can the thing.

C̶L̶A̶S̶S̶I̶F̶I̶E̶D̶
Thermobaric bombs disguised as a comet/asteroid wipes out everything within 5 miles of the landing site.

gas the jews

drones

Fuck a shemale prostitute in the oval office live on camera.
It's already too late so why not get the people some prime bread and circuses to go out on?

I've always been of the opinion that The Thing is far more interested in getting off of Earth than it is in eating the world. If anything, it wants bodies to help repair the ship so it can get away from this shithole planet.

I'm sure that the commies will take care of that so I continue to watch my anime grils in white house

If that's the case it can just take some Russians, and fuck off to wherever it came from.

>You are the president of the United States.
First of all im starting move back fking immigrants from my country.
Starting war against Russia, bomb some arab country.
And do nice haircut

you have started a nuclear war with russia, all of humanity is dead

Accept assimilation into the overmind.

Accept fate and become one with our true God THE THING

Obviously you have been infected..

>Tfw the thing would probably start shitposting on Cred Forums in a couple months to get to know humans better

What do you think the thing would post about? How could you tell regular anons from the thing?

Why did The Thing want to build a spaceship? Because it thought there were no humans and just wanted to get back home(alien or cell intelligence/memories?)

>tfw the thing creates all the memes by shiposting repeatedly to "fit in"

>Good luck explaining it to the commies
It would be very easy to explain it to them. And I'm sure if the President of the US was serious, they would take them serious.

>couldn't be guaranteed to get every last cell
The movie didn't show that they were that infectious. They had to physically touch you with a large number of cells, hence why they kept taking risks.