Theres now an Alien in your flat in the furthest room

I roll to pin.

The best thing that could happen to me in this scenario is someone finding my eviscerated corpse with bloody fists and thinking "this faggot was pretty badass"

probably go outside and drive away, if it follows me out Ill try run it over and fuck my car up in the process because you question is retarded

keep fapping in despair while awaiting my death

>your Door and all the windows are gone for some reason
Alien can't get into a room with no door

Well my apartment is really small only 40 square meters so I'm pretty much dead.

>browsing from work
>hear there's an alien in my flat
>choose hard mode
>wait a couple weeks
>alien has starved to death in my doorless/windowless prison
>sell the alien corpse to some lab or whatever for dosh

Hide in the fridge.

I'll take my electric razor and just fuck my shit up. The alien won't touch me because of the fucked up shit.

>survive

ha, good one
im toast

You know aliens don't need to eat, right? Their blood is like a battery and when it runs out of juice they die of old age.
What would happen is you'd wait a couple weeks and get raped as soon as you stepped inside.

say no means no

>haven't showered for weeks
>it smells me and dies immediately

Your move normies

Shoot the fuck out of it.

jump off the fucking balcony, it's only one floor

>Door and all the windows are gone for some reason
walk outside
never come back

Nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure.

Stream my inevitable death in youtube. At least ill be famous for once...

Has not watched alien films

they are not going to hurt themselves only to get a single human

I think the only answer is the whack it in the head as many times as possible with a metal baseball bat or fire extinguisher and pray it doesn't paralyze/skewer you with its tail. Hopefully the first hit to the head disorients it enough to get subsequent blows in.

I wouldn't want to count on a chef's knife working on it.

If you're armed, hard mode is actually easy mode since the alien will have to use his own blood to open up a passage to get to you and that takes time. Without being able to get the jump on you, it's just a matter of pumping it full of lead.

how would it get into a room with no doors or windows

Well first things first, I need to find out what the bonus situation is

My dogs distract it while I make a run for my car.

I blast it with my shotgun

Because I'm a god dang American and I don't take no shit from no ayyyyy

It has a tough silicon based exoskeleton. It would need some good firepower to bring down.

i meant to Door leading to the flat itself. rooms are open.

If the doors and windows are gone then either it doesn't matter because they wouldn't stop him anyway (I don't live in a fucking bank vault), or they'd get filled in with more wall, in which case I'm sealed in.

What the fuckkkk do you not understand?!?!?!?!?!?!

build wall

how would YOU get in the room without windows and doors??

Set my house on fire
Die

Americans are bad at shooting though. You'd probably miss.

with a space axe

I can build a homemade flamethrower easy.

Furthest room is where we keep the cats. It's covered in cat shit. No fucking way it makes it out of there alive. Even if he does, there are 20 more cats in the way to protect me.

Underrated post

Emphasis on good.

Most hunting weapons and small arms fire would be ineffective against it. The movie Xenomorph is somewhat different (i.e. weaker) than the Colonial Marine Handbook Xenomorph.

>Americans are bad at shooting

literally what?

That's predator you stupid piece of shit! Either way you're dead. Unless you are dealing with predator and you find a way to get last minute lung cancer.

>implying it would want to kill/cocoon me with the alimony flowing through my veins

Swat it with a slipper

>Most hunting weapons and small arms fire would be ineffective against it.
Lolno. If a round can take down a bear or moose, it can take down a xenomorph

If there are still doors id push my couch up against and run out the patio locking my dog behind me

>locking my dog behind me
literally scum

They have fleshy exteriors, the xeno has an exoskeleton

Im sorry things turned out the way they did Brendan.

This is life or death, my dog would slow it down somewhat

literally see 5.56 take down xenomorphs in that shitty AvP2 movie

gee i guess ill LEAVE THROUGH THE DOOR

kek

right

So? Unless it's exo-skeleton is thicker and stronger than an inch thick plate of AR500 steel, it's not gonna help much again most rifle rounds.

...

I'm not Brendan, you fucking faggot. Why would I post memes about myself if I was him? Jesus Christ.

American here. I'd just wait in my room for it to show up and fill it with bullets.

I bet your house is filled with trash

>you hit it
>this startles the alien
>its little mouth hisses at you
>the xenomorph angrily grabs the slipper from your hand
>"you better apologize" it says to you with a very upset look
What do?

>those hips

Start a fire with my lighter.

I would put Randy Pitchford interviews on the TV and pray it goes after that first. I doubt I'll make it out quick enough.

Movie Xenomorphs are a shitty bitch Xenomorph.

It would be more kino if you had to fight an Engineer

They aren't called xenomorphs you fucking faggots.

huh?

>They aren't called xenomorphs

Idk if were you I'd embrace the meme

This. If you're a gun owner chances are you've watched a lot if sci-fi/horror films and thought
>I bet I could kill that fucking thing

>Goalpost position 1
>Goalpost position 2

and thats how friends die

Xenomorph is James Camerons dumb way of saying alien but yes I agree with you.

Hmm?

i would fuck him, xeno's are hot

Xenomorph is just another word that means alien. The species is not called xenomorph and anyone who calls them that instead of aliens is an idiot.

I would tell Daisy Ridley to fuck off.

>become a predator
>collect my trophy
Ayy Lmao wont know what hit it.

>Xenomorph means "strange shape"
>they actually look roughly humanoid
Bravo

If this is true than xenomorphs are the worst monster ever created.

>hey guys, what if natural selection created this animal that doesn't need to consume energy to survive and was just le badass killer xdD

>no canonical xenomorphs in this argument pls

start running, run past the kids playing basketball outside in particular and keep on running

>Xenomorph is just another word that means alien.
no it's not you dumb shit. Xenomorph is far more accurate than alien.

>flat
kys

Call the police and hope for the best.

Are Xenomorphs only so terrifying because of their looks and their reproductive cycle? I mean, they don't even use guns, so a single squad of well equipped soldiers should be able to kill many of them, unless the numbers are ridiculous.

>than

get pillow
get second pillow
stack em

>tfw i built a wall so no aliens can get thru

>carefully placed eggs in a protective environment on a crashed spaceship
>all features are of a parasite/predators yet it doesn't hunt to eat, only to kill
>cares nothing of it's own safety, killing the target is all that matters
>it's huge but is durable like a bug, so durable that it survives the vacuum of space
>has fucking acid for blood
They're obviously some sort of genetically engineered weapon that got out of control, not the result of natural selection. And no, Prometheus doesn't matter.

fanfiction.net/s/7532229/1/The-Predalien-s-Mate

Seduce it and make mixed babies

i teleport right behind the alien
BACK THE FUCK OFF ???

Grab the cat and run to the car just 20 feet away get it and never come back. My doorways are narrow so many the faggot will have issue getting through.

Does this alien have the bronchial tubes on its back or not?

Something something Predators like to hunt so they created them

I'M NOT BRENDAN FUCKING FRASER, NIGGER.

>you're in the club and this guy comes up and impregnates your girlfriend, what do?

AvP movies don't exist.

fanfiction.net/s/9635236/1/Mumble-and-MacReady-Love-In-The-Frozen-Desolation

>what are your plans to survive?

Offer her a cup of tea.

rape it to death

>anything that proves me wrong doesn't exist

did anyone go and check just to make sure there wasnt one there?

If all my doors are gone, and my house is just walls, how would it get to me?

The original Alien is the only Alien movie that matters. Others are fun fanfictions. Even Aliens should not be taken seriously.

t. please stop proving me wrong

I'd evac to my rec room and light its ass up

>not capturing the xenomorph to rape it and impregnate it in the process

walk calmly to my kitchen while facing down the xenomorph, get a knife and slit my own throat, because that has to be better than a fucking xeno mauling

Wow, that would be great to see. Maybe they should make an aliens movie about a small squad of military personal taking on larger numbers of aliens. And since the first one was called alien and since it's a sequel and there are many of them we could call this one aliens.

Strip down to my undies and blast it out of the airlock

Prometheus canon overrides AvP canon

As funny as it sounds, I never actually watched Aliens. It's the only part I haven't seen. But aren't the humans on the losing side there?

Fuck the alien

My guns are in my room, so pump some slugs into it and hope no acid spray hits me

Im American...I have guns in the house
Shame about the acid eating a hole in the floor tho

Yeah. They're overconfident despite heavily outnumbered and in a completely unfamiliar environment (because obviously the movie is an allegory for Vietnam).

How do you manage to spend over 12 cycles on this rock and not watch Aliens ?

Imagine being the xenomorph in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Sigourney Weaver, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with white panties and gross flat ass. I would totally impregnate you, both my character and the real animatronic me." when all it really wants to do is lay eggs in another 16 year old in its dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be the xenomorph and not only hide in that ship while Sigourney Weaver flaunts her flat ass in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her legs going directly into her back, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she works it. Not only having to tolerate her disgusting fucking gluteus maximus visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, SIGOURNEY WEAVER GOT A BOOTY LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her strut around in her disgusting granny panties; never before have you seen legs directly connect into someones spine before, no ass, no hips, you didn't even know that existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of colonists and later alleged space marines for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of LV-426. You've never seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's trickling down from her lower back to her knee caps as she shakes her ass to writhe it sugestively at you, smugly asured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to hide there and revel in her "voluptuous (for that is what she calls it)" ass, the ass she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could eviscerate every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down,but you sit there and endure, because you're a fucking xenomorph. You're not going to lose your galactical conquest over this. Just bear itHide both mouths and bear it

It's worse. I'm 30

Ah, so they only lose it because they are fags. Makes sense. I might watch it soon-ish

it was a good film

Remington works pretty well on them apparently, I'm good

>and the real animatronic me

>animatronic

4u

Both AvP never happened user. It was just a bad dream, and no one needs to think about them anymore.

If that's true then how are they so sneaky? Especially on all the metal they like to hunt on. It sound sound like a 5lb box of nails is in the dryer every time they move

>Hide both mouths and bear it
god damn it

And this is the television and film board you fucking idiot.

Exactly, we're talking about Film Xenos, not Movie Xenos, and certainly not flick Xenos like AvP xenos.

>not talking about kino xenos

Collapse on the floor and feign chest pains. The alien will assume I am already impregnated and leave me alone.

Checkmate.

>kino xenos

That's just fun to say

...

...

...

Audible kek

I'll be fine, I have a cat. If you pay attention, no cat owner is killed by a xeno ever, across all the movies. Xenos fucking love kitties.

>implying you wouldn't love to see an Aliens movie set on a futuristic Blade Runner-esque Earth with the Colonial Marine Corp and Ripley having to fight a massive infestation of Aliens.

Ye you could just do a 360 and walk away

shoot it with one of my guns

[spoiler[for any close encounters[spoilers]

why live?

>cover yourself with blanket
>it can't get through since blanket protects you from monsters

>flat

Fuck off britfaggot

>hur dur, I determined your nationality therefore fuck off
Fuck off.

Slap its ass and stroke its tail

>360
What is this sorcery?

>My doorways are narrow so many the faggot will have issue getting through.

Pure gold

Fuck it

>all the windows are gone
Then I make one.

It'd hear you and make a new hole in your forehead before you finished

The furthest room to me right now is the bathroom, the damp will take care of the alien.

Get fucked xeno scum

>it walks in
>it sees me putting a tiny hole in the wall
>I look over to it frightened
>it slowly steps forward
>it falls through the floor because all that noise was actually me busting a hole in the floor and then covering it with a carpet

I'd access the rooftop because I have a hole cut in my room that gives me access to the rooftop and then fuck off home.

Ahahaha.

it is you stupid retard

No, really, just call it xenomorph. Calling it alien sounds stupid. You could be refering to any alien in science fiction. You say xenomorph and any nerd will know what you are talking about.

Seduce and mate. Treat my xeno waifu like a queen.

> in the furthest room.
This is expecting me to play hide and seek.
We are playing Isolation right?

You seem upset.

Winner

>not be OP
>not be British
>call out an idiotic post
>"u mad"
Try again.