The case of Jonbenet Ramsey

i'd like to jon her benet if ya know what i mean

It's a fucking TV documentary.
Every single interview has been pre-arranged, the experts have been rehearsed, and even if someone did say something off the script it'd be eliminated.

They have to do this because if they accuse anyone they are up for libel, not to mention if someone provided actually new evidence and then they wanted to recant on it they could get an injunction which if accepted would cost the broadcaster millions in lost advertising revenues.

Go read the court reports and other primary documents if you really want to know the answer, anyone can claim to be an expert.
I mean a "handwriting expert" -- what bullshit!!?

>all TV is fake. Especially if it claims to be "reality"

>That stun gun demonstration

A grown man tased for a second is totally different than a little girl tased until she's subdued. They tried to say it would give her an adrenaline rush!

Is Joebenet a meme now?

no, not every discussion is meme-slinging...

assman

The intruder theory has too many holes in it. Burke killed him, parents covered it up.

youtube.com/watch?v=NFMrNtTPaSY

dailymotion.com/video/x4u3psv

That nigga is guilty.

him?

That documentary had some good points but it really glossed over a lot of important details.

For instance, it ignored the strangulation and the fact that she had nail marks on her neck suggesting she tried to pull the rope off (meaning she wasn't brain dead).
The amount of DNA evidence they got is also pretty important. As per what they said, the technology has improved immensely, but even in 1996 they were able to get a lot of samples from both her underwear, pants and fingernails and were still able to show that the DNA wasn't from the family. That's not an insignificant amount of DNA and they likely wouldn't have gotten so much if it was trace amounts from some factory worker.

The main issue with the Burke theory is this though: why the fuck would the parents even bother to cover it up? These people weren't necessarily stupid, they were college educated and knew they had some amount of power with the police/DA/all that shit. If her death was a simple accident why not say so? The police wouldn't question it too much, obviously. Even if they were somehow worried about their reputation or whatever, staging an elaborate kidnapping story would have brought them more attention and suspicion than a simple household accident.

I also find it unlikely that two otherwise loving parents would violently strange their daughter's body and potentially molest it just to save their son, it's overkill.

My theory is that someone who knew the father/family did it and was trying to fuck with them (hence the specific ransom request for his bonus).

The Burke theory probably has more holes. Truthfully, much of the case doesn't make sense.

It comes down to the evidence being tampered with.

>brother killed her with ONE bite of pineapple

These ''''investigators'''' are idiots

Her autist brother hit her in the head with a flashlight.

That's it. No big mystery, no satanic ritual.

It was December 26th. They had had a very hectic couple of days and the little boy was feeling cranky. His sister stole a piece of pineapple out of his bowl so he chased her down the hall, picked up a flashlight and bashed her in the head with it. It killed her.

He had hit her with a golf club months before and nothing happened. He figured nothing would happen this time because he was a stupid kid who didn't know a little girl's skull is barely thicker than a sheet of construction paper.

He also shit in her bed and smeared his own shit on some chocolate candies she got for Christmas. That boy wasn't right.

Police didn't do a great job handling the crime scene to begin with.

a real jerk

The Last Podcast On The Left episode was infinitely superior.

Also the parents covered it up because they were WASPs and the male heir has to be protected at all costs.

the thing about the spiderwebs seemed kind of dumb

spiderwebs are more sturdy than that

we need a mythbusters episode about window climbing

This. The CBS show was packed to the gills with junk science.

Could you provide the evidence that claims that she wasn't sexually molested? Because from what I heard she had "chronic bruising" due to violent insertions.

Utter bullshit.

>Lou Smit
Literally a bullshit artist

>experts from the A&E doc
You mean people who worked for the Ramseys?

Why is it so hard to put this case away? I wish they would have arrested the parents and been done with it.

>killing a girl
>leaving the body
>writing out a retarded ransom note with the mother's sharpie anyway

the whole intruder theory sounds too stupid to believe

seems more likely that it was an accident and coverup

The CBS documentary suggests she wasn't abused. That's one thing they agree with the family on.

Family's doctor statement:articles.orlandosentinel.com/1997-02-16/news/9702150717_1_sexual-abuse-jonbenet-autopsy

Look, I agree the Ramseys are rich capitalist cocksuckers. But that doesn't mean they killed their daughter.

the CBS one said the brother, then the TLC one barely mentioned him

the brother was a weird kid, but the fact that they let him be interviewed twice by himself, and he didn't come close to confessing, says a lot

Dateline had a balanced documentary. The police officer they interviewed, who was adamant the Ramseys did it, said nobody ever thought Burke did it. He's a strange guy but that's not surprising considering the trauma he went through in childhood.

a game theory

No, the "family did it" theory is too stupid to believe.

The "ransom note" would be even more retarded and batshit insane if intended as a "cover-up note".

what if he panicked? people don't tend come up with rational ideas while panicking

why would someone kill the girl and leave the body if they wanted to ransom her?

why would they use the mother's sharpie to write out a letter at the scene of the crime with multiple people in the house? (they matched the exact ink to the mother's sharpie which was left in the house)

an actual 3rd party intruder taking like 20+ minutes to write that ridiculous note when she's already dead in the basement makes way less sense

It's far more believable the parents weren't acting rationally after realizing their son killed their daughter.

can anyone shoot down that random theory about the guy across town at the junkyard who did it with some accomplices and turned up dead from suicide shortly after the murders?

supposedly people heard him bragging about coming into some money and making weird comments about crackin skulls

It was a botched kidnapping. The perp wrote the note before the attempted abduction, while he was waiting for the Ramseys to return from the party.

Why would the mother deliberately create evidence linking herself to the crime? It's nonsensical.

>he didn't come close to confessing

youtube.com/watch?v=uE18dR-bCFw

youtube.com/watch?v=o6iy6ZhMjTs

>whoops like that

man that note was so weird though, right?

was literally dropping Speed references

>do not attempt to grow a brain here jack

it's cartoonishly bad

>Victory!
>S.B.T.C

What did they mean by this?

Because he wrote the note before the (attempted) kidnapping, asshat.

new theory

>annual x-mas tradition of writing the best ransom note
>patsy comes up with one so good she has to use it IRL

Mr. Ramsey, I'm SBTC

who are they and how did they get away with it despite being obvious dumbasses

>if i hit you over the head, would you die?
>it would be very painful
>you're a pretty beauty queen
>4 u

Was getting caught part of Patsy's plan?

There's "panicking" or "not acting rationally" ... and then there's turning into a mentally retarded psychopath who writes a 3-page batshit-insane "ransom note" after sexually abusing and mutilating their 6 year old daughter's corpse.

Apply Occam's razor, son.

jonbenet wrote the ransom note and killed herself to get back at her parents for forcing her into the beauty pageant life

did you guys watch the burk interviews on dr phil? He was just like lmao no I didn't do it! :D

I heard he is a programmer and often works from home now ;___;

The owner of the DNA under JB's fingernails, underwear, and leggings is the person who did it. I predict that eventually they will get a hit on CODIS. It may be 10 or 20 years from now, but it will happen.

The perp got away with it partly because the police were utterly incompetent.

>tfw you represent a small foreign faction
>tfw you're totally incompetent

Who was the leader of the small foreign faction? Bane?

if burke was like 14 and browsed Cred Forums i'd 100% say this note was him

alas, not likely in 1996

uh...you dont get to bring friends

how did the kidNAPERS know the exact amount john's bonus was for?

Supposedly it was mentioned in a newspaper and he wasn't shy about bragging about it.

If a 14-year-old Cred Forums user killed someone in 2016, the ransom note would be filled with meme references.

>Dr. Ramsey, I'm S.B.T.C.
>Your daughter has been taken to the interracial breeding grounds.
>What did I mean by this? Basically, if you ever want to see you're cunnyfu again, you will follow my orders. Don't try to be a hothead.
>You will take a briefcase containing $118,000 to an empty field in Uzbekistan, where a man will introduce himself as "CIA." You don't get to bring friends.
>Hand over the briefcase and say the secret passphrase, "I drive."
>You're a good friend, John, but you're not in charge here. We WILL kill your daughter and lick her feet and post pics on Cred Forums if you do not comply.
>Regards,
>Bane?

it was kill done for intimidation that the killer saw the bonus stub for and thought "lets get paid twice". papa ramsay works for big time weapons manufacturing

The intruder theory does not work. So according to it, Bob McRamseynapper breaks in. He wants money so he's going to kidnap the girl. He forgets a notepad so he writes his note there. but the first couple drafts suck so he redoes not.

Now he's going to kidnap the girl. Whoops it goes wrong so he beats her to death with a flashlight, garrots her throat and molests her. Then he escapes without leaving footprints in the snow.

John wrote that letter.

>"We respect your bussiness"
>"Use that good southern common sense of yours."

He's too much of a narcissist not to include those lines.

in the house, with house paper and house marker you knicknack. it was an intruder, but this man was pro and hired and was just fucking around to throw mystery on it instead of doing extra work by doing cover up kills (like the zodiac theory)

why leave the body in the house? couldn't have been that hard to take her with and play out the ransom ruse longer

>use "attache"
>purposely misspells "business"

these people are morons

...

But the note was written with pen and paper from the Ramsey house. A draft of the note was also found in one of the garbage cans. So why would a kidnapper break into the house, go to the kitchen, write a note, crumble it up and throw it away because it wasn't good enough, write a complete new ransom note, all before attempting to kidnap JonBenet.

only thing i could think of is

>really good drugs
>really lax home security

That's assuming everything went according to plan and the kidnapper wasn't just some stupid pedophile. In the Lindbergh kidnapping the baby was killed pretty quickly, so there is that, plus in this case she might have died on accident and he just ran off. It also makes sense that he use things in the house so that nothing is tied back to him.

I am of the theory that someone killed her and set it all up to make the parents look bad, hence the specific amount of money.

Also there was no snow.

This is my theory too, a jealous work colleague could easily know John's salary.

As a former smartarse evil little lying shit myself I could see straight through Burke's Bullshit story and attitude, he definitely killed her out of rage and jelousy

>It also makes sense that he use things in the house so that nothing is tied back to him.

that might make sense but the 3 page hollywood fan-fic note doesn't

Didn't snow that night.
If you get caught breaking into a home with a ransom note you go down for attempted kidnapping rather than a week in jail for attempted burglary.
The intention was to kill her from the beginning, the note is full of hidden messages to the family, mr. ramsay in particular, that lets him know who did it and why. He tried to book a flight to florida a couple days after this happened.
The stub was literally in the pile of mail. Dude thought that maybe he could get paid twice, or the bonus was a part of the message in general. Probably just thought he could get paid twice.
She wasn't molested, she had bruising because her parents stuffed her into tiny outfits and made her do dances and act like a robot in front of old perverted men.

i once tried to close the power car window on my sisters head

what could the co-worker possibly have on him that john wouldn't tell the police about the obvious references that only he would get??

>Bob McRamseynapper
>Bob
I think you just cracked the case

John isn't from the south, patty is. Which would mean patty wrote the letter, and she was cleared. The family didn't do it.

The ransom note was a message and getting the bonus pay wasn't worth displeasing his employers. You know, the guys that hired a contract killer to break in and fucking murk a rich white mans (who works for a major weapons manufacturer) little barbie doll dollar

its a four story fuckin mcmansion. dude coulda run a horse through there and not woke them from their ambien comas

Because what else did he have to do? He had hours and hours to kill before the Ramseys returned from the party. Keep in mind that this guy is clearly fucked-in-the-head beyond description. Anyone who could write a note like that - for whatever reason - is clinically insane to an absolutely florid degree.

It's obvious to me lil Burke did it.

I will say that's a very convincing 911 call though.

burke is such a supergenius predator he did it AND wrote the note and his parents don't even know it

Access Graphics was a 1 billion dollar (and thats 90's money, baby) subsidiary of Lockheed Martin, one of the largest military defense contractors and weapons manurfacturing companies in the world.
Access Graphics was specifically a "computer services" company that he headed.
John did something. They had his daughter killed. John tried to go to florida RIGHT AFTER he found his daughter. This isn't shit you drop to police.

The garrot is proof that burke didn't do it, btw. Don't think that little kid could fucking hitman even his little sister.

It makes sense from the standpoint of someone (either a criminal or the Ramsay's) trying to sound tough.

What do you mean "it doesn't make sense"?

The fact is, the "3 page hollywood fan-fic note" EXISTS. So someone had to write it. And that person is obviously the psychopath who donated the DNA found on JB.

or the parents recollected every kidnapping cliche they could think of to write the note for plausibe deniability b/c their son accidentally killed their daughter

Are you joking? John Ramsey was the president and CEO of a billion dollar company. He may be a scumbag, but he's not clinically retarded.

her ass in that scene was out of control
whoever was operating the camera knew exactly what he was doing

if someone wanted to """send a message""" because of his job it doesn't make sense they would do it in such a bizarre way with the ransom note and bringing the entire nation's attention to the case

Who /lastpodcastontheleft/ here? They did an excellent 2 parter on jonbenet

If you mean some outside party trying to terrorize John, yes it does. First they lost their daughter and then they were accused of the crime, everyone hated them and thought they did it. Now their son is being accused of the crime. If someone wanted to fuck them over (and that fits better than someone in the family doing it or even just covering it up) they did a brilliant job of it.

This thread made me review the evidence. Damn. The cops fucked up big time.

Duh. The guy who did it was obviously mentally disturbed. "Bizarre" is putting it mildly.

you would never leave that many clues and bring that much heat onto the case if you set it all up to send john a message

the answer is either
>the family did it
>some moron did it and escaped by dumb luck thanks to extremely incompetent police

OH hugely. Apparently all you have to do is murder someone on christmas. they just send in all the retarded rookies.

John tried to run for some kind of political office later, too. That family is permanently fucked

The cops fucking up so hard is what makes me think Burke did it. I think that the District Attorney found out from some of the first cops on the scene or from an interrogation how it happened and then went out of his way to stifle the investigation to protecting the family's reputation as best as he could.

It was either that, a horribly botched genuine kidnapping attempt, or some spooky Committee of 300 shit.

This. It was an unfortunate accident that got blown out of proportion. Kid was only like 9 or 10.

Literally no one would write a ransom note like this.

spooky committee of 300?

Can the case ever be solved at this point?

the doc is just covering ass, dummy

Or ANY kind of note. Even if intended as epistolary fiction, it blows.

However, the note does exist, so someone did indeed write it.

The Committee of 300, which I personally find spooky. They're not called 'The Spooky Committee of 300,' as funny as that would be.

It's a theory that's been kicking around for a long time about how a few European bankers secretly run the entire world. Glenn Danzig says that he's been told to shut up after mentioning them in interviews before, but maybe that's just his manager not wanting people to think he's a loon.

Except, there's no evidence to support that. All the evidence points to a third party.

What clues though? Again, everyone automatically jumped to the family doing it based on how ridiculous the letter was. The best clue that it was someone closer to the family was the amount of money requested, and it makes absolutely no sense that the family themselves, if they were writing a ransom letter, would include that amount. If it were some random person who broke in it would make even less sense.

Basically another version of the illuminati, NWO, majestic 12, etc. world government conspiracy theory.

Fun, but ascribing some sinister clandestine order and purpose to the reason the world is fucked beyond just a gaggle of fuckers working in greed and self-interest that occasionally manifests itself in ways that seem "overtly and expertly orchestrated" is, in my mind, wishful thinking.
AKA we didn't do 911, but we let it happen due to incompetence and then turned it to our use- just like columbine, just like every other government fuck up.

I find it strange that some people find it unbelievable that a random criminal could try to sound like a cool movie criminal in a ransom letter. Criminals often do stupid shit that can get them into trouble, it's not unknown.

It wasn't some random person, it was a sick pedophile who knew JB from the pageant world. The kind of person who spends months obsessively researching his 'targets'.

>$5000 has been deposited into your account
Why are you deceiving these people user? Carroll Quigley openly said they're real. They might or might not be plotting to destroy life as we know it but they're definitely there.

That's actually what I was saying, but it may not have totally focused on her. Whoever did it was also clearly fucking with her father and wanted to punish him in some way (and obviously succeeded). I'd guess it was someone related to his work who hated him, assuming nothing shadier.

I WISH. I HOPE. I don't mean to deny it i'm just. I've been down so many rabbit holes now that all I've found out is that I'm at the bottom of a hole.

Whats the doc guna say? "yes i saw signs of sexual abuse but i didnt report it." Not a fucking chance.

How do you explain the ransom note?

Someone fucking with them.

That's the whole point. If abuse were happening, it would have been reported.

The note was insane because an insane person wrote it.

As a ransom note, it indicates that its author is batshit crazy.

As a "cover up note", it indicates that its author is REALLY REALLY batshit crazy.

What's more likely - that a batshit ransom note was written by a batshit person, or that a REALLY REALLY batshit cover-up note was written by a normal person who was mentally stable enough to become the CEO of a billion dollar company yet who temporarily morphs into a psychopath with a 70 IQ?

It really isn't that difficult, folks.

Being a CEO of a company does not mean a person is mentally stable.

And it would have been the wife who wrote it.

>He also shit in her bed

who hasnt done that?

What do you expect. The first detective on the scene was a woman. Probably got affirmative action promoted.

What about the pineapple?

>Being a CEO of a company does not mean a person is mentally stable.

Yes it does. It means the person has the social IQ, cool-headedness and Machiavellian street smarts needed to navigate office politics over several decades. No one able to function in the real world would write that note as part of a "cover up". The person who wrote that note has the mind of a retarded child - someone completely disconnected from how the world works.

>And it would have been the wife who wrote it.

That makes zero sense. Going out of your way to create evidence linking yourself to the crime is nonstarter, and certainly not a strategy that JR would sign off on.

The guy who left the DNA on JB did the crime. It's really that simple.

What the fuck kind of DNA did they find on the kid?

Did some bastard splooge all over her or some shit, or was it blood?

I've heard a splatter of blood, saliva, and touch DNA. All I know for sure is that they found it on two different pieces of clothing.

ITT: Discussion the death of a 6yo girl in 1996.

Are you right, Cred Forums?

The Black Child posted an excellent video on this. She was killed during a botched sex film recording as John Ramsey is a Satanist.

obviously the brother did it. just look at him, only 9 years old and already evil as fuck.

i did it

ransom notes always sound tougher when they're short tho

>$118.000.000
>$100.000 in $100 dollar bills
>remaining $18.000 in $20 dollar bills
what did he mean by this?

it's plausable
has happened before

PANTY PANTY PANTY PANTY PANTY

>Victory!
>Etsubatsu

What did he mean by this?

The presentation of this series is obnoxious. It's unwatchable.

if the mother or father wrote the ransom note wouldn't their dna be all over that?

My nigga!

What extraordinarily warped ideas you human scum have of us, your natural superiors. We're actually perfectly normal, just like you, only better.

Will Some Puerto Rican Guy ever be apprehended and made to stand trial for his many crimes?

In all seriousness, there are people who think being a WASP means you're a sociopath. This has gone beyond a joke, we need Trump now.

>The Black Child posted an excellent video on this

Nothing said by someone who calls themselves 'The Black Child' is going to be anything other than cretinous.

Gonna make a new thread for this.