"I don't think they'd want to spend time with someone with such awful manners"
"I don't think they'd want to spend time with someone with such awful manners"
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I realize Jonah Hill has copped a lot of flab in recent years for not straying too far from comedy and tucking into much meatier rolls, but there's a lot more to this man than meets the ribeye, and it turns out he's really an all-round good guy.
If everyone on here could get off their high whores, face the cold hard fats, and stop pudding him down for two seconds, they'd realize being a fry in the ointment isn't always a piece of cake.
If there is subway you could find it in your hearts to show the milf of human kindness towards Jonah, you might come to see the reason he's regarded widely by his peers, and is, pound for pound, a true heavyweight of the Hollywood scene.
As Jonah himself once said, "when I'm sorting the beef from the chaff I always beer in mind, every hotdog has his day when the chips are brown. You've just gotta keep your eggs held high and remember that a burger in the hand is worth chewing the bush."
fucking 10/10 great job OP. she would've run off in tears
KEK
DUDE BAD COMEBACKS LMAO
we get it faggot please stop forcing it please please please
Jonah Hill is our guy, right Cred Forums ?
>please stop
>please please please
holy shit lmao
"Interesting, last time I checked neither of them are into girls with cast-iron hearts"
>average couple in France
>DUDE [insert the comedic premise of something] LMAO
This isn't valid criticism, fuck back off to the subReddit you came from.
"Oh I think it's just great that I fly all the way to France to be insulted on live TV by some rude hoe"
When will be collectively able to agree upon an acceptable response?
Surely there must be one, no? Is this an equation with no possible answers?
shit like this just shows how deep her insult affected you
ignore completely or call her out for being an unprofessional bitch in a flippant way
she can't keep getting away with it!!!!!
"You're French, you probably don't even shave your armpits or legs, they would be disgusted by you"
The jerk store called.
"That joke was more tragic than the Bataclan theatre events"
Fuck off Jonah you fat, unfunny faggot.
>But boys like a girl with bad manners in the bedroom. You can try and watch through the peephole.
do you guys think, theoretically, jonah would have had time to run at her and snap her neck before someone else intervened?
"I didn't travel Miles here for her to Teller dumb joke"
Sit in silence for a few moments. Then say
>Well I'm waiting
>Waiting for what?
>For an apology. APOLOGIZE. APOLOGIZE NOW. APOLOGIZE! APOLOGIZE!
Then he would get out of his chair and get up close to her and just keep screaming that until someone restrains him. France would never fuck with America ever again.
Ask /sci/
"I'm sure if they were looking to fuck the biggest whoah in france, they would have done it already"
u fuckin got him dude, great comeback
These are the best threads on Cred Forums these days.
"GIRL, you made fun of my weight, I'm laughing my ass off! We it get, bitch, please stop shaming my weight please please please please"
"That was really mean"
Personally to me it's the new Vinceposting for now. A thread where lots of anons are trying their best to come up with a particular text phrase. Sure a lot of it falls flat, but that's okay. Miles better than whatever inane shit ban evading phone posters spam.
Ok for real now, how would you get out of this? I think Jonah's real reaction was the best you could do, but really there is no winning this. Aside from maybe going in character and just taking acting like he would in his loser roles in movies and play it off like it was scripted.
You do what Donald Trump would do
He's much more alpha, and is able to sense when an insult is coming, so he'd interrupt her midway through the joke, talk about what a dopey unknown bimbo she is and the crowd would eat it up. She'd try to respond back and he'd loudly talk over and it'd be done.
He'd then make a funny Tweet about
If I was him, id play along with the joke, turn on my maximum funniess, woo her and take her out on a fancy night on the town, to a restaurant she wouldnt even dream of, etc...then fuck her....and once we finish, Id throw a stack of fresh,crisp 1$ at her and tell her "Youre Welcome, Bitch" and leave. Too bad, Jonah is too beta to fuck her
>If there is subway you could find it in your hearts
chuckled
DUDE "DUDE LMAO" LMAO
"First of all, Mr. Pitt is married. Second of all, Senor DiCaprio has been fucking nothing but teenagers non-stop since Titanic, you're far too old for him. Best I can offer is that I doggy style you while Brad and Leo double dutch rudder each other in front of you"
just laugh it off and move on, it was a cheap joke done for cheap laughs and extending it in any way for any reason is pointless.
This makes absolutely 0 sense on a promotional tour. For Donald Trump it works because the people he's arguing with are his direct competitors. Making them look like retards benefits him, and harms them. For Jonah Hill this person is just one rando at an interview that's mostly just to drum up name recognition for his movie. Dumping on her nets him absolutely nothing at best, and hurts his public image at worst.
"My translator just told me you want to be tag teamed by Brad Pitt and Leo in my -takes a second as if he's listening- ...my hotel room? Does your boyfriend know about this? *laughs in disgust"
>"You'd call your friends DiCaprio and Brad..."
>Jonah just starts laughing loudly and hysterically drowning the rest of her sentence
>Everytime she tries to continue, he just laughs louder and drier
>When she gives up he finally says with a sarcastic voice "Oh that's so funny, I've never heard that one before."
girls only say this shit because they think it gives them power
all jonah had to do was point out that he's filthy rich and popular and famous and well connected
like saying lmao good thing I'm in france because there are some high quality prostitutes who would love to visit my expensive hotel room lmao
^^like this
with no pause after her comment, laugh and say "best I can do for you is you get to fuck me and I convince them to watch and tell you how hot you are"
it's a dumb, meaningless joke that is short enough to ride on the wave of existing laughter that's also slightly offputting and has weird implications
Trump wouldn't be able to. Since she speaks french it needs to get translated first and before he could do anything the joke would've already been told.
"Uh, you don't get to bang my friends"
"Perhaps I'm wondering why someone would invite me to their hotel room just to kick me out"
"You're a big whore"
"No one cared who I was until I put the weight on"
"Bring 'em to my room, I'll call it in"
I don't think Leo likes hairy pitted chicks
"Listen, hun, Leo isn't really "The Wolf of Wall Street" *audience laughs* He's a good guy with great values and I doubt he'd be having sex with a married man and, well...you *audience laughs* I guess that's why they call it a fantasy though"
"That's fine with me. I'll leave to set up their appointments for STD's."
damn....btfo
Just say "And how much money should I tell them to bring? $200?"
"All of my sexual fantasies have come true, yours never will as neither of them would even consider sleeping with you"
>Thats funny, Ornella, If you think about it we are all like subway footlongs, I can see the olives at the edges of your eyes, There is a lettuce in your body, and I don't like lettuce
Leave?
Like a tree?
Wow here also has horrible comebacks for when getting roasted?
I can only think of good comebacks like 2 hours later
"You sound like a whore".
Would end shit pretty quickly or cause a shitstorm.
Its pretty much agrred that there was no good comeback. He was doomed
that's a pretty good one
actually it'd be even better to go with something like "just remember to give me my 40%" or anything that similarly reframes that interaction to have him as her pimp
?
...
Worded more effectively, in a cheeky/smug tone
"Your fantasy is to be a whore? -smiles-"
There.
That is the perfect answer.
The audience laughs, goes OOOOOOOH, it's quick, right to the point, seems like natural banter/not taken TOO personally nor is it TOO over-the-top as it was her who started the whole thing.
Yes, the SJW media will shame him for slut-shaming (the same media who shames him for "not taking a joke") but everyone else will recognize how alpha he is.
I get what you're saying, but I think in the context of an interview like that, it might come off as too convoluted a comeback. Just let the implication of the $200 sink in. You don't want to ramble or have the person be too confused.
...
>If I wanted to watch an ugly bitch get spitroasted I'd cook my dog
I fucking laughed hard at this
kek
kek a good image can add a lot to a post
>he got literally bullied on camera over his weight when trying to promote his films
>decides to lose all the weight, actually does it
>people still make fun of him, he starts getting less roles
>he puts the weight back on again just to keep his career going
>people still make fun of him
he literally cannot win
>Jonah: "Wow you're a slut"
>Chris Evans hysterically breaks out in laughter next to him
>Perfect response:
Look puzzled as she brings up the sex fantasy. Look over to Miles and audibly interject "what the fuck. After punchline Smile and say "good one". Claim they prefer nice girls, shrug.
>he puts the weight back on again just to keep his career
And then the token reddit guy has arrived
Chris Evans would have been a PERFECT bro-side kick for him
Miles Teller is a fucking ugly, spineless beta weasel who laughed at HER joke instead of defending him
Fuck
Didnt even know about that Superbad interview
>Forced Memes general
sag3
its staged
>please stop forcing it please please please
neck yourself please please please
The superbad interview is fake, the Brad Pitt insult is real tho. "I'd have to go with someone serious'', Christ. Great friend right there.
>please stop
>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
what did he mean by this?
> ****** REMINDER THAT JONAH IS /ourguy/ ******
> ****** DISAGREE == REDDIT ******
"JUST"
"JONAH"
God, fucking, damnit, this thread again, They'll never stop to cheer me up. Cred Forums still can't get recovered and make a proper comeback against stome stupid french cunt. Hilarious.
It is a meme by now to say a proper comeback is impossible? There have been plenty.
I've yet to see one.
It's been mathematically proven, there is no possible response to this.
Jonah is a fat, short, ugly dweeb. The French lady is a pretty Stacy. It's science.
Why this thread exists then? Damn, it's not so hard to win against some dumb chick. Womans are easy to be mocked and also don't have good sence of humor.
Name three (3) good comebacks posted.
>ha, in your dreams lady
What's wrong with ?
>you're so pretty even someone like brad pitt needs to pay to be with you
>lmao roasted
Ebic
It's a meme for us, but for celebs the money is really about the girls leaving afterwards.
...
...
He shoah'd been in Freaks and Geeks like "dude weed" kike prime, Seth Rogenstein.
>it's now taboo to call out a woman for being a Chad-hungry slut
>it's celebrated to call out an ugly man for being ugly
I want off this ride
"What makes you think they'd have any interest in an uninteresting bitch like you? Can I get a look at this weeks weather forecast while you're here?
>Tbh if Leo and Brad were that horny, they'd open the door and call me back inside
"Yes I've heard you people are familiar with letting foreigners inside with little resistance"
holy shit
"C-can i at least just sit in the room and watch?"
Now THAT was the only manky thing to say.
"Oh yeah? Your a fucking slut and my friends don't fuck with your kind, degenerate frog."
There. Easy.
*manly
...
kek
The betaness on display in these threads put /r9k/ to shame
That qt Frenchie roasted that fat kike worse than the Germans did his ancestors.
>teleports behind french slut
>slices her head clean off infront of frog audiience
>"heh anyone else got something to say?"
Frog detected
Hah
> I'll ask them whens the next charity tour, maybe we can make this happen
difference is we're doing it ironically for the memes.
do this and then move on because i'm not a soft cuck.
If you say so.
If only Frankie Muniz was there
"Ok, so that just happened... wow you really said that.
Ok, so let's deal with this maturely. Maybe you're emotionally processing with your own problems right now, ok? I appreciate that. Maybe there's going to be a lot of rain coming up or something.And... I don't want to diminish any anxieties you may have, I really don't. But you need to understand that what you said? It was inappropriate and hurtful.
Even if you think it was a joke, you have to appreciate that it can still hurt people. I may be a big shot Hollywood actor but hey... I have feelings. I get out of bed and put my socks on like everyone else. And I was hurt by what you said. But more than that I was dissapointed you felt the need to say it.
But I'm not angry with you, anger is not going to help anything. I just want you to admit your mistake and understand my feelings, I know we can build a meaningful emphatic connection. We can process this incident in a positive emotional way. We grow past this, we can heal and hopefully... we can both learn a little bit more understanding. Thank you."
That's how he should have reacted, real classy you know.
someone JUST this pic
Nice comeback, very impressive.
"They just came in for the weather forecast but I'll save them the trouble. Chance of wetness down south: zero percent"
*Unsheathes 5 dollar footlong™*
*Teleports behind her*
"Ces't non personnell mi mademoiselle."
Based Jonah
...
Jonah hill threads are the reason I come to Cred Forums, fucking lmao
"ayyyyyy its funny cuz im fat and ugly lmao"
"Realistically all 3 of us would leave"
Not too bad
>Just because you're easy doesn't mean they're easy, I'm sorry *smile*.
"Me leaving is actually the only realistic part of your dream"
" im surprised by Leo he usually has higher standards"
>Heh nothing personnel, frog.
>"why would you kick out of the room the only one you have a chance with?"
I like this one. It's self-depreciating, but also insulting to the interviewer.
this
This
"Well I don't think the joke translates properly because you're implying Brad or Leo would even go near you"
Holy fuck
>I've got a sexual fantasy about you
>Everyone laughs
>Oh, so I don't have to end the joke
SAVAGE
It's a Fantasy? Your comeback is shit.
toptier
>"Im a fat Jewish moron with an ugly face and my butt smells and i like to kiss my own butt"
that would have shown her who's boss
shame hes gonna die within five years
>having a TIA at his age
wew lad
>has to be translated for the entire audience
>still ends up being a retarded cliche french surrender joke
>still ends up making fun of a terrible bloody period in french history in a room full of French people on a french tv show
>all because a comedian implied you were less attractive than Brad and Leo
would backfire horribly/10
OC
what do you guys think?
>>still ends up making fun of a terrible bloody period in french history in a room full of French people on a french tv show
that's the best part!
Got a chuckle out of me
>because a comedian implied you were less attractive than Brad and Leo
Well don't start nothing won't be nothin
"France will have to live with Jonah Hill"
thought it was funny but dont use french bitch. sounds fake
Actually, his own comeback was great, the problem was his reaction: if only he wasn't so butthurt during and after the show it would have worked.
Omfg he wasn't even butthurt dude, I just had stuff to do so and had to cancel the rest of the interviews
jonah pls
How is this a bad thing? Arab men and French women have a lot of similarities
>both refuse to eat normal food
>both smell like shit
>both have impressive facial hair
It's a match made in heaven
Ce n'est pas personnel, ma cherie*
Goddamn Ameriblobs
They're both unfunny so that's quite a match if you ask me.
"It's a real shame. I use to think higher of the French but after the recent poor response to terrorism. I can't allow you to touch those US citizens as they are like brothers to me. Alas we have out differences but I will not sit here and be the unshaven butt of a joke in poor taste."
let it go jonnah it's too late, move on
...
"Oh come on, can't I at least film it?"
No serious question, cuck porn sells like kebab up there in Sverige.
> woww, I thought Frenchmen being assholes was just a stereotype.
There you go
Great way to promote a film in a foreign country, fag
I think it adds to the joke, sort of a "Yeah, it's a joke" reference. Kind of like how Swift used to write.
she's a gril jonnah ...
"Well that would be your loss, back in gym class I was called the 'One Eyed Whale' and it wasn't because of my fat"
Best one by far
>My jokes are as good as sex with Brad and Leo? Well, thanks
The frog whore store called...
THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF YOU!
*BUDUP BEW WEW WEW*
I posted something like "have you been talking to my wife? That"s her fantasy too!" In one of the first threads. I think that one would work for just about anyone. Self deprication always works in awkward situations with women.
i bet you're that kid that rolls his eyes when someone smokes weed at a party.
I'm being generous and assuming that you actually get invited to parties
WELL THE JERK STORE CALLED...
>laugh at female hosts rude joke
>"I had a fantasy where you and I were walking down The Promenade des Anglais and then I left and you got run over by an Islamic extremist."
"nice"
Fuck off you sonic autist.
beautfiul
>All the fat americans rushing to defend their jewish overlord weeks after the interview
>jokes that rely on figurative idioms when you're being translated
>he's an all-round good guy
Eylamo
"I don't get it."
"Dumb frog-eater."
he's regarded widely by his peers
>Bitch, I would eat your pussy like Subway
>Ya know, This is why ISIS bombs you people.
>Walk of stage
>Had that Jonah Hill body
>lost 40 pounds this year
Feels still fat man, but at least I'm not a walking meme.
>You know, this is why I will bomb all of you people
>blows up
>going to social events
He should have laughed it off and say "wow this is like highschool all over again". Self deprecating humor is the best way to go with these situations. But we can't expect a fat fuck to laugh at himself now can we?
WELL THE JERK STORE CALLED AND THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF YOU
>"Haha, that's such a coincidence, I have a sexual fantasy about you too! I'm walking through a forest and I see you sitting in a pond on a lily leaf. I kiss you on the forehead and voila, you turn into a beautiful woman!"
DUDE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LMAO
this requires her to be smart enough to know about the "frogs" derogative but otherwise good effort
It only took you like two weeks to come up with this lol
Girls still think you're gross.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the University of Colorado Boulder, and I’ve been involved in numerous romantic relationships, and I have slain over 300 confirmed pussies. I have been nominated for an Oscar and I’m the top actor in the entire US. You are nothing to me but another shitbrained talk show host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me to my face? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fangirls across the USA and your address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my neckbeard. Not only am I extensively trained in drama, but I have over 50 imdb credits and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
could've been worse
youtube.com
That was funny.
"Ive got a sexual fantasy where I take you to an Eagles of Death Metal concert and leave"
You're both faggots and it's time to leave
Why, where do you normally go?
> jonah
>run
pick one
YEAH WELL THE FUCKSHIT CALLED, THEYRE RUNNING OUT OF POO
There is nothing wrong with a little banter on a morning talk show. Can't believe you guys are so butt-blasted about this.
That Conan remark is so perfect, just in general and also because I could perfectly imagine him to be quick enough to say something like this. I'm not kidding, I think that may actually be the perfect response, it's legit funny and self-deprecating enough to get the audience on your side a bit and take away some of the sting of an attractive women saying you're unfuckable to your face
LOL, nice, really good point my friend, didn't even think about that LOL
True but Jonah isnt married, and it doesnt quite work if you use "my girlfriend"
It's also short enough to translate correctly.
The problem with people coming up with these long, paragraph sized jokes is that they have a chance of being lost in translation (i.e translating weather girl as journalist)
>I'm not kidding,
Oh good. I thought you were kidding for a moment there.
"no, u"
These ones are pretty good
I'm trying really hard but I just can't feel sorry or bad for a rich nepotistic kike.
But he's fat and neckbeard like us!
I'd just yawn (not in an exaggerated way) and carry on.
>I'm not going to leave, I might miss my room service
He'd own the joke. Hire me as joke writer please
user BTFO
Do you think you're funny? Because this isn't a good way to audition.
If you try to force a yawn it looks cringey as fuck
Yes!
The cuck retorts are kino.
bump to piss off normies
You can't just yawn on command?
I'm not talking about some wide mouthed, arm stretching, leaning back in the chair type thing.
Start the yawn, bring up the hand to cover the mouth, don't drag it out.
Hmmm...that's some yawnkino.
Yea well me and brad are friends so yea he wouldnt have sex with a bitch uh girl like you, you bitch head stupid bitch
Cringe
kek
Dam he was fukken anorexic
Keep going Cred Forums. One day you'll find a non-autistic retort.
There have been plenty posted
Yea like every retort in this thread
>he's regarded widely by his peers
But that's not a retort
>that's funny, in my fantasy you're the one leaving
>*suggestive facial expression*
This is the best answer. It shows that he can take a joke but isn't rolling over. It's also short so he can go back to advertising his movie without giving her anymore attention or satisfaction.
bump
Dude social justice media would be on him for flippantly handeling sexuality before he even left the interview
Are we still doing this?
nobody would take them seriously anyway
>I realize Jonah Hill has copped a lot of flab
fucking kek
once in a while one of you reminds me why i still come back after seven years
Even angelina jolie's ex husband fucked his shit up
funny stuff!!
really funny stuff!!
>yeah well you're a doo doo face, lady
>take that one to the bank!
I enjoyed this one.
I honestly feel bad for him. Hill may be rich and successful and more talented than someone like Seth Rogen, but people still won't take him seriously. He'll always be the fat nerd who's the butt of the joke.
OKAY
2soon
Everyone's the butt of someone's joke
He shouldn't of let it get to him, it's his lack of thick skin not true way people perceive him that caused this meme
>have forty million dollars
>still has to put a .00 at the end to make it look bigger
god manlets are pathetic
Why were people expecting a good comeback from Jonah "Suck My Dick, Faggot" Hill?
He might be a good comedic actor, but he's a Kramer tier comedian.
Thanks
O-ok-ay..*gulps* *eyes blink not in unison*
>Oh really? Do you know their hourly rate, though? I don't think you could afford them
That also doesn't work because she's attractive enough that being called ugly wouldn't phase her.
>*laughs along*
>*smiles* - "Oh.. and who do they replace you with?"
Would have been solid or at least better than his remark. Basically imply as strongly yet calmly as possible that she's a literal nobody who Pitt and Leo would never choose to be with, but still act like it's part of the joke.
>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I eat too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My girlfriend likes me. My fans like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.
...
"If you beta shame me again, you're going to be yelling "FUCK MY MOUTH LEO" in the parking lot"
*using an Ozzy Osbourne accent*
"Bit of a mean thing to say, innit? Not the nicest thing to say a chap, no? Bunch of bollocks really"
Rumor has it Clinton has hired Jonah as a professional banter responder expert consultant for tonight's big debate.
Fuck man, time comes to a complete standstill the day of the debate. I just wanna see what happens already.
*chuckles*
>pound for pound, a true heavyweight
oh fuck me
Basically this. He'd have to preemptively keep saying what a bad interviewer she is before hand though. Then just constantly tell her that his comeback will be ready when it's ready and talk over her until she gives up because she's afraid of looking too biased.
>Knowing them both, they'd probably decline, since neither of them is very fond of syphilis
>It's nice to see you don't only treat Muslims like shit in this country
wudve said:
>yeah so how much do you charge anyway? a ten spot?
best
This would probably be lost on a french audience.
Of course I leave, I still have to pimp your cohost out to James Franco. All I know is at the end of the day you better have my money, bitch.