MR. PLINKETT'S STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS REVIEW THREAD #2

sage for viral

Some guy named Tim Higgins.

i don't know, i loved previous reviews but this one wasn't funny except the ending and like three moments

i was bored as fuck when he was just babbling about the shitty ring theory

he'll start in 5 minutes

The moustache hipster guy in Hitb

>50 minutes to complain about REEEEEE STOP LIKING THE PREQUELS
>15 minutes to complain about REEE STOP REBOOTS
>15 minutes to complain about Force Awakens being literally New Hope, what an original thought
>15 minutes to complain that Rey didn't get BLACKED

yes, the last 50 minutes are actual TFA review

good job you stopped the thread forever

It was barely a review at all. You can tell he didn't want to actually review it since there's barely any material there because the movie itself is bland and sterile, but he dare not criticize it too harshly because its way better than the prequels, or at least thats what he's convinced himself of

>0 minutes about Rey being a Mary Sue.

As the Goddesses intended.

>Pointing out JJ's repeated habit of having planets right next to each other

Thank you! This fucking hack constantly repeats the same stupid shit and no one calls him on it

>Rei showed almost no interest in Fi--IS IT BECAUSE HE'S BLACK?

Holy shit my sides

It was even worse than I expected it to be.

That's because Rey is a completely original and interesting character, now lets bash the prequels some more because thats all Plinkett knows how to do

>that beginning

kek, can somebody post that pic of that guy from Cred Forums predicting the Force Awakens review and how it started with another "worst thing since my son" joke?

>30 minutes of debunking a fan theory nobody has ever heard of before
>30 minutes of arguing with clickbait author strawmen
>20 minutes of taking about the movie without analyzing it in any meaningful way
>20 minutes of wishing there were interracial black man/white woman kissing scenes
>2 minutes of a poop joke

What the fuck is ring theory?

This needed to be split into two different videos. One for the current state of the Star Wars franchise and one for the actual movie.

Holy FUCK that was terrible. He makes so many fucking excuse for all of the flaws in the movie. "It's a Soft Reboot" but it works! It was FUN AND INTERESTING TO SEE

While blasting the fucking shit out of Lucas for being unoriginal.

Yes! I want some factual science in my movie about space wizards, light sabers and gigantic planet-killing machines!

Do movie studios actually do market research into every single decision? Because the Sony email leaks made it sound like major points about plots, characters, casting, etc. are made up on the fly in emails after some exec spent 2 minutes thinking about it. Or is that why Disney makes multiple billion dollar movies a year and Sony's only profitable division is its video games?

That's because nobody cares because the overall product is good.

>Lucas does thing
>its a ripoff and he's a hack

>JJ does thing
>its an homage and hes great

Fuck Plinkett, he cant even set his bias aside to make a coherent review

bump

I guess that's why a hack fraud like JJ is more suited to a children's fantasy story like Star Wars instead of a more sci fi oriented series like Star Trek. Fortunately now we got real nerd cred guys like Simon Pegg writing Star Trek and giving us enemy swarms that explode when you play the Beastie Boys.

>the prequels weren't good because Disney aren't selling prequel merchandise!

this is the most retarded argument I've ever heard

Making a lot of money doesn't make something good.

TFA is a reboot of ANH, has a lot of the same design elements (eg stormtroopers) and practically ignores the prequels. It makes sense for Disney to promote their new product, rather than a product from 15 years ago that has no connection to the new trilogy.

The original trilogy has been around a lot longer, and is more beloved by the autistic nerds who hate change and will buy anything from their childhoods or remakes of their childhood movies (TFA)

Most trek merchandise you will find is slanted towards TOS, that doesn't mean it's objectively better than DS9.

Classic Plinkett would have railed on Rey having the same hairstyle since she was 2 years old, bypassing the compressor, "That's a story for another time", etc.

I don't know what the fuck this was.

Lukas acts like it was his original idea, though.

Disney does. I'm actually sure they have some type of written formula for their movies which has been derived from their market research and what parts of movies are talked about on the internet. If you consider Marvel movies, they follow similar patterns in each movie. Even Guardians of the Galaxy follows a very safe approach.

Disney does everything with a safe-formula approach.

except that he goes back and points out that as shit as the prequels were, they were at least original ideas

>Jay, we need to shit out another Plinkett because nobody actually watches BOTW dogshit
>Mike, we already shilled TFA for Disney like good goyim
>Fuck, alright, let's just shit on prequels for an hour, that always works. Lets also whine about millennials and buzzfeed articles. We'll end the video with some quick and irrelevant things about TFA because we still want our 4chins audience

>the overall product is good.
Mike please

kys

of course they do market research... they are spending hundreds of millions of dollars on these movies and they want to make a profit.

This is going to be backround noise kino

>giving us enemy swarms that explode when you play the Beastie Boys
>implying that wasn't fucking awesome

absolute faggotry.

I was thinking the same thing. He literally excuses JJ Abrams (and admittedly he didn't write the movie) and the movie despite having the same issues as Lucas in the originiality field.

Yet he says a postiive of the prequels was...creativity and originality...but kind of glosses over the fact that The Force Awakens is like the identical twin of A New Hope...if the twin maybe got a different hair cut and turned a little emo.

It was his original idea though you retard.

It's also what makes Disney movies a bit dull. You know that they are never going to go off the rails into unexpected territory.

i legit hate mike

>episode 1-3 plinkett reviews
>*lists thousands of reasons why they're shit*

>TFA half in the bag
>*praises TFA and says it's an amazing movie even though it did almost everything the prequels did wrong as well*

But what's really the difference?

JJ copied the plot to ANH nearly to the letter, but its ok because he called it an homage?

Which is why the coming star wars movie has a female protagonist and a hispanic side-kick.

What market research told Paramount that people wanted a new Ben Hur?

>[falling asleep intensifies]

it is good though

just because a few things don't work or didn't live up to their potential that doesn't mean it's automatically shit

maybe he has his own opinions and doesn't share yours.

It turns out if there's nothing to nitpick then you can't make much of a video nitpicking.

Plinkett addresses every single problem with TFA and even makes up a few problems to fill time.

Butthurt by what? The Prequels are loathed by everyone with a functioning brain.

He did a shitty job at the stuff he supposedly cares about.

How will I ever recover?

...

>Yes! I want some factual science in my movie about space wizards, light sabers and gigantic planet-killing machines!
This sort of counterpoint always fucking bothers me, it's like when people complain about the lack of racial diversity in LotR.

We live in this weird world of hyperbole, where you can't complain about the degree to which something is done, only the fact that it was or wasn't done at all.

Star Wars may have all sorts of sci-fi and magical nonsense in it, but that doesn't mean some of it can't at least make some sense. JJ's error was more egregious in Star Trek, I think, but even in Star Wars it looked fucking stupid. How did no one point that out to him either time?

You must be 18 years or older to post on this site. A blatant 12 year old like yourself would be better suited to the youtube comments section or reddit.

It's not good.
Sorry.

>inb4 critics
Look at ROTS's RT score before you play that card.

>my first reaction to this movie was a positive one
>... because I was on Vicodin

Did Mike just admit to opiates addiction?

what the fuck

bad market research

duh

The movie was ok, but mostly forgettable. It doesn't really leave any impact, which is mostly because it relies on the OT to prop it up because it literally cant stand on its own

Its because Mike has to gently walk back his enthusiastic support for TFA on its release. Its similar to how he now only ironically likes Jurassic World.

...

>50 minutes on how dumbass millenials mysteriously started to like the prequels after disney bought the IP.

Cred Forums got BTFO forever.

>suddenly Cred Forums hates Plinkett and loves the Prequels

fuck all of you

>image.jpg
TFA fans confirmed for underage

Nobody would complain about a female protagonist and a Hispanic side-kick.

But people would complain about a white main character and a black side-kick.

>devoting screentime to a plot point in a feature film purely to sell merchandise and comic books (or wherever the fuck it was explained) is something that doesn't need to be examined or even mentioned in a nearly two hour """review"""

Ok

I feel it's kinda like inbreeding. The more you do it over generations the worse it gets. Eventually new writers and directors wont understand why something worked in the first place, or what the train of thought behind it was. It just ends up becoming a vapid trope that is there because familiarity or lazyness.

The prequels spawned many great things, and they themselves are entertaining, though not good. Things can be bad and entertaining

I've liked TPM since '99 though.

So did Roger Ebert who, as pleb as he is, is still less pleb than Mike.

I thought the exact same thing 20 minutes into the Prequel Apologist conspiracy nonsense. That should have been standalone, as it had very tenuous relevance to the new movie.

>people who were kids in the early 2000's liked a kids movie made in the early 2000's

mysterious

>People suddenly praising the prequels? Must be Disney bribing them!
>Marvel movies all get praised while DC movies get shit on? People who blame a Disney review conspiracy are nuts!

What did he mean by this?

And before anyone responds, the DC movies ARE trash, however so is Marvel capeshit, and Fox capeshit, and Russian capeshit, etc.

Video wasn't bad at all, I agreed with his thoughts about his lack of creativity in Disney and forced diversity.

Are you insulting Richard Brody?

newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-the-seven-star-wars-films-reveal-about-george-lucas

>mfw Plinkett's rebuttal to people who like the prequels is a complete strawman

Cred Forums ripped on the prequels since inception. But it became cool to like them once the normies took star wars

>forced diversity

you're just a racist piece of shit just like mike

kill yourself, you absolute dipshit.

>writing for the fucking New Yorker
The insults write themselves, no need for me to say anything.

Normies always had Star Wars you autist.

>rotten tomatoes
>eyes wide shut 73%

>once the normies took star wars

You mean May of 1977?

No, we started liking them once we realized they were great works of comedy and lore expansion

?

that's a good movie.

what'd he say

>he said, sitting in his room, refreshing Cred Forums 612 times a day.

>complain that Rey didn't get BLACKED

really?

also I normally complain about interracial sex scenes but Rey would be perfect for it tbqh

nice nitpick.

this id still rather watch than tfa

No, I use auto-update.

>it became cool to like them once the normies took star wars

No, it became cool to like them when people that watched ROTS in the theater as children started using Cred Forums.

The prequels are absolute and objective garbage, and I refuse o believe that anyone would even pretend to like them out of some anti-normie irony.

'no'

I thought it was very unoffensive and in the middle of the road. Like it's compitent, but it also doesn't feel particularly fresh or interesting.

At least Lukas in his autism tried to push special effects with his blue screen overuse. TFA doesn't do anything that stands out.

He basically said that it was mostly Disney funded buzzfeed articles and internet autists overthinking the prequels, because no normal person could POSSIBLY like the prequels at all

>So did Roger Ebert who, as pleb as he is, is still less pleb than Mike.
>rogerebert.com/balder-and-dash/revenge-on-revenge-of-the-sith

What a terrible video. He doesn't even talk about TFA for the first 50 minutes. Who the fuck gives a shit about ring theory???

Kubrick was a hack

nice opinion.

I have mine, you have yours.

You're in the minority though. Keep that mind.

I completely agree with his point that there's no 'sex'. Finn was the only character who acted like a person, everyone else is stale and one dimensional.

>ring theory
he's trying to silence the critics of TFA who said it copied a new hope.
mike is a disney shill now

>watching meme voice redditor

Prequelfag confirmed. Just end it already.

JJ was a hack

>objective garbage
see
and
rogerebert.com/reviews/star-wars-episode-i-the-phantom-menace-1999
and
pic related

etc

meh. i liked it when he talked about the broad changes internet film criticism's undergone. the ring theory crap was painful to sit through, and I was disappointed in the depth of his analysis of TFA.

thats not entirely true. he listed how tfa took from a new hope as well

I think in this review he admits that his initial reaction (the one we got in HitB) was not his final critique and that his esteem of the movie's artistic merits diminished over time. That's my reading anyway. There's nothing wrong with that, either. I liked TFA less the more I thought about it too, whereas I liked Avatar the more I saw it and thought about what went into it.

>Mike wanted to see Rey get BLACKED

I knew I wasn't the only one

I was talking about TPM.
DO you have brain damage?
also for ROTS see

>normies took star wars
normies took it back from the EU hypernerds

>Nobody can like the OT and the prequels

I bet you hate the expanded universe as well because its different and you hate things that are different

But then argues that it was fine, basically, because it works in his opinion.

Well if you knew anything about poetry you'd know this since that's how the review of ep 1 started.

He's not an artist.

He makes fun popcorn movies and doesn't claim to do anything else.

Plinkett is officially dead after this lame video.

>becoming more meme than man

The EU suffers from too many cooks syndrome.

everyone born before 1997 knows that everyone pretended to like the prequels at first when they came out due to recency bias. then as time went by they realized how shit they were, with the 09 TPM review being the nail in the coffin.
>rogerebert.com/balder-and-dash/revenge-on-revenge-of-the-sith
you aren't impressing anyone with your contrarianism kid.

michael bay makes popcorn movies

jj abrams makes try hard gourmet pizza movies that taste like bland cardboard

why no sticky???

I think you misread his comments about diversity. Seemed to me he noted the diversity and said it was definitely intentional and at the end of the day unnecessary but said the cast was an accurate representation of our societies today.

Michael Bay makes toy commercials for China.

JJ makes popcorn movies.

it was meant to demonstrate that pretty much everyone's impressions of the prequels evolved from when they first saw them. clearly nuanced thinking isn't your thing.
>m-muh RT score
and yet Cred Forums always calls RT shills whenever they give a rotten review to the latest DC failure. yawn

The Producers (the movie)

But its a beautiful mess

Besides, without the prequels we would not have

KOTOR
Republic Commando
TCW
The Gendy Clone Wars cartoon
Battlefront
Bounty Hunter

The list goes on. Hell a lot of the most autistic novels were written before the prequels anyways

>the rock is a chinese toy commercial

Reminder that Space Cop > new Plinkett video

...

>new star treks are huge in china
so does jew jew

I really wanted him go after force awakens the way he went after the prequels. But I guess he still liked it.

The only thing that was interesting to me in TFA was the new characters and where they would go. Then the old cast shows up and it's like they the new heroes are trying to intrude as little on them as possible.

Also, why the fuck doesn't Chewie hug Leia after Han dies instead of Rei?

They don't sell prequel merch because it's been rotting on shelves since episode 1 and as recently as The Clone Wars. I was a hardcore Star Wars collector and the dull sterile look and boring ass characters of the prequels killed any desire I had to buy Star Wars merchandise.

Face facts. Star Wars was a dead franchise until Lucas sold it off and the prequels were all but retconned.

Selling the franchise was the smartest thing Lucas had done since letting someone else edit the original film.

No, but the fact that products involving images from the prequels aren't made because Disney knows they won't sell pretty much confirms that everyone agrees the prequels came up with no interesting or memorable icons of their own.

The fact that Disney knows this and chooses to act upon what it proves it's true. As someone in this thread pointed out Disney probably have literal mathematical formulas that show which characters coupled with which piece of merchandise will sell, and all the prequl shit comes up with numbers so low that nothing with them is made. Because nobody likes those images or icons from the prequels, because the prequels suck.

No I understood it. They forced the cast to be diverse but it really didn't add anything to the movie for the intended audience a.k.a children. Fucking tired of seeing 30 year old man children talk about superhero movies and other shit that's aimed at people 20 years younger than them.

That George actually meant it when he said it was poetry and it rhymes

starwarsringtheory.com/

youtube.com/watch?v=k7ZW1gtCljs

I don't know about you but I've seen ring theory discussed in fair detail on Cred Forums and general prequel revisionism/rethinking is something that's been at the forefront of serious (by which I mean unnecessary nerd analysis, not normie hypemongering) star wars discussion for years now. The Plinkett reviews have never had the widest audience but their core demographic has always been geeks who care too much about star wars, and ring theory is something that I think lots of those people wanted to see discussed. I know I wanted to see him talk about it.

>contraianism
no john you are the contrarian

>Plinkett barely touches upon all the vital information that was left out of the movie (the formation of the first order and the resistance)
>Doesn't even mention the lightsaber plothole

Oh wait this is nitpicking because it makes TFA look bad

No, his movies just happen to be enjoyable unlike Bay.

kubrick is a great filmmaker kys any director would tell you to fuck yourself

I was born in 1990 and think the prequels were pretty cringe worthy but still think Anakin Skywalker walking up the steps into the Jedi Temple with a Clone Army along with killing the younglings is one of the best scenes of all the Star Wars movies

Oh and Intro space battle for ROTS was amazing and really showed the dynamic friendship between Obi Wan and Anakin

But a lot of it was trash intertwined with some semi decent parts.

My theory about this is that Carrie Fisher was so awful that it would have been pointless. He didn't even talk about her because there was nothing to talk about. Everything about her performance in TFA was embarrassing and sad. JJ knew this.

This was pretty weak although I'm not sure what else he could have done for TFA. It's too early to look at it in the context of the trilogy it belongs to and it's not blatantly bad enough to warrant such an in depth analysis. Without Lucas the star war movies are just going to be more action adventure type movies that we see every other week.

TFA also wasn't the biggest disappointment in cinematic history which created enough ire to prompt a 70 minute analysis. Has there ever been a more anticipated movie than episode 1?

My issue isn't the ring theory or the prequel regurgitation - I could listen to Mike/Plinkett talk about anything. My issue is that it simply wasn't funny enough.

I just think it's annoying how they use words like schlock and then defend almost every reboot and remake if it's "good" i.e. the exact same shit with better graphics

She does a decent job at hiding how frontloaded her crazy is.

>What the fuck is ring theory?

It's someone going "What if the 'it's like poetry it rhymes' meme wasn't actually a meme and George actually knew everything that was going to happen in the story decades before he actually wrote them and filmed them, and was just lying when he said he didn't know how the story would turn out"

Star Wars isn't about stupid backstory nobody needs, it's about the adventure-at-hand.

she's not even 60 yet and she looks 80..Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

>It's like the Vietnam War memorial, except different, very, very different.

About 8 minutes in, still great stuff.

the new star trek was literally funded by a Chinese company

The killing of younglings shit ruined Darth Vader's character more than anything else.

Like sure we knew Vader was part of this Empire that did fucked up stuff, and he kills a few people for no real reason in the OT. But there was never any mention of him going fucking Sandy Hook in the Jedi Temple.

No Vader, I'm sorry but throwing the Emperor down a well no longer redeems you now that we know you slaughtered dozens of children. Like if that scene didn't cut away as he draws his lightsaber we'd see him slicing little kids to fucking pieces.

In ROTS Obi Wan and Anakin still have a really fucking awkwards relationship. I disagree with Mike so much when he says Hayden was good and did the best he could. I'm sure Lucas fucked Hayden over plenty, but he's still shitting up a lot of things fine by himself.

all downhill from there

>Plinkett barely touches upon all the vital information that was left out of the movie (the formation of the first order and the resistance)

that nerd shit is religated to the books where nerds that care about nerd shit like that can read it and not take up screentime with exposition.

Good guys, bad guys. Keep that shit simple.

Isn't that a flaw, though? The fact that TFA is so dependent on the sequel films to redeem the shitty lazy writing?

Oh shit hes talking about us

Nah, user has a point. Rebells and an Empire is very straightforward, but what a hell is a First Order and why are they called that? It raises questions.

>it really didn't add anything to the movie for the intended audience a.k.a children

Children were not the target market of this movie. It was forever-adolescent 20-somethings who buy R2D2 coffee mugs and stormtrooper bikinis and shit like that.

Little kids really don't care all that much about Star Wars compared to post-adolescents.

>It's someone going "What if the 'it's like poetry it rhymes' meme wasn't actually a meme and George actually knew everything that was going to happen in the story decades before he actually wrote them and filmed them, and was just lying when he said he didn't know how the story would turn out"

why has there been a sudden influx of these types of room 237 batshit insane theorists? these people look for the answers to the fucking universe hidden in tv shows and movies. most of the time they completely miss the intentional symbolism and subtext and instead go for the most complicated and contrived shit possible.

fucking crazy people

No shit sherlock

RLM wouldn't be our friends, IDK why some people use them as a friend simulator

and it's still good.

Unlike Transformers, which is literally for children.

And this is why Star Wars is trash, because normie shits who only care about whats trendy take a passing interest in the movies and declare themselves "fans"

Mike Jay and Rich all browse Cred Forums numnuts.

Why do you watch them?

stfu mike would totally be my friend

>movie rated pg
>entire aisles filled with star war toys
>lucas makes disney pay out the ass to get toy royalties apart from star wars intellectual property
>movie isn't geared toward children

Come on man.

The fact it's not blatantly bad enough, coupled with the safe soft reboot and action adventure type movies that Disney's Star Wars is going towards SHOULD be enough to criticise the fucking shit out of.

There is so much inferential details to deconstruct and criticise that he could have filled an hour long video. Not to mention giving actual time to criticse the parts which make no fucking sense, rather than gloss over them like inconvenient plot holes.

It's Star Wars. It should be held to a higher standard than what TFA has been held to purely because it's the cultural property of a generation, not some second rate Marvel superhero like Captain America or Thor.

Star Wars cannot purely be fun and entertaining. They have to be UNIQUELY fun and entertaining. That's why Star Wars worked in the first place.

>barely touches upon
He had a whole segment about how that would have been a more interesting thing to base the movie around.

lol no they don't.

Cocaine doesn't prematurely age you like that. Booze and cigarettes does. Booze makes you fatter and sluggish and smokes destroy your skin's complexion and elasticity.

>waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh why aren't they spending 30 minutes talking about the politics of why the guys shooting blue lasers are firing at the guys shooting red lasers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eat shit nerd.

>our
collectivism belong on other boards

The video's really disjointed between the Star Wars overview and the Force Awakens review. He should have done the former either a few months before or after the review and put more jokes in both. The old Plinkett reviews feel more rewatchable because they were just reviews, whereas this is both a review and an extended argument/rant. It felt too serious, but the actual analysis was great.

What's your opinions on sand?

>why has there been a sudden influx of these types of room 237 batshit insane theorists?

Because everything has to be connected, and clickbait

did you forget that 1977 Star Wars was literally designed to feel like a sequel to a movie that was never made?

because Lucas himself said this.

Was pretty disappointing desu.
Seems like he didn't really want to make the review, which is why he mostly talks about other stuff aside from the actual movie.
Would've rather had a new BOTW this week.

There really was no point to this review.

While it was fun to watch, it isn't a review of TFA at all. It points out some flaws, but doesn't dissect it like his other reviews. The whole point of the Plinkett reviews is to dissect the movie for an hour and a half.

Instead, he spends an hour rambling about circle theory and making fun of the prequels some more, then rambles about TFA.

Overall, while I enjoyed watching it, I wish that he didn't make it, and instead made an actual TFA review.

TFA had a ton of problems, and he basically glances over them.

No, user it's called judging a supposed work of art by its own merits and not having a bunch of blank spaces filled in by random shitty writers who come in later.

It's pretty useful stuff during the winter and you can make glass out of it,

...

Lmao you literal neckbeards have spent all this time obsessively hating TFA just to be contrarian
And now that your god Plinkett who you worship every single morning by rewatching the prequel reviews, you're mad and insist the video just sucks

>Mike does something different instead of rehashing his old format and giving in to what the shills want
>People shit on him for it

It's like you're the fucking millenails who love Disney and Marvel shit he's complaining about

If the point was to make people indifferent to another Plinkett review so that Mike could be done with it forever, he succeeded.

how is sand useful in the winter ?

The whole point of the Plinkett reviews is whatever Mike wants it to be

What did you expect Vader did, then? Like the dudes a black mask wearing magician if he hasn't done some sadistic fucking shit.

Also, killing the Younglings shows his devotion to the Emperor, or at least to saving Padame.

Nerd shit what the fuck? Why is the republican REGULAR ARMY called the RESISTANCE? How the fuck did the First Order get so much capital to build the goddamn Star Killer Base without anyone noticing? Why are we watching A New Hope: Redux but infinitely worse? Because of stupid fucking idiots that eat this shit up.

carrie isn't just a booze coon and chain smoker, she's been on all types of meds for decades, on top of being a coke head for a decade

there was a documentary stephen fry did a few years ago about being bipolar. carrie was in it and she said she had been getting electroshock therapy for years to "break up the concrete" in her brain.

she's fried.

Times have changed, man. Primary schoolers aren't crazy for action figures like they used to be, and they definitely don't care about Star Wars as much as you think they do. I have a 5-year-old girl and lots of family. The only reason they are interested in SW is because their memberberry parents are pushing it on them. THAT'S why the big sellers are the OT-related products.

Because liked TFA

He probably didn't even want to do this review.

He really wanted to talk more about the prequels which he did for half the review

He hated the prequels

So there was passion in the videos

This one the only obvious passion was from the first half where he talked about ring theory and other non TFA shit

>nobody has ever heard of ring theory

every fucking time prequel apologists show up in a thread they bring the same shit it mentions up even if they don't actually mention the name of the fucking thing

Go read the books that explain this nerd shit to nerds who give a fuck about stupid nerd shit like that, you fucking nerd.

>spends almost an hour talking about the prequels
>leaving less than an hour to take apart TFA
>hardly talks about most plot points in the movie

Needed to be longer and in another part maybe. I appreciate how they took apart everything that happened with Disney and Lucas but it needed to be in another video.

Wow. It's almost as if opinions change over time.

I saw this coming a mile away. Mike already said he liked TFA, so I don't know what they were expecting out of this.

Too much bitching about the franchise and not enough disection of the movie.

It was mostly entertaining... but then I finished it and I realized my Plinkett itch wasn't scratched. He didn't dissect it and trashed what was wrong with it. The diversity message he was giving was also incoherent, but that's a minor point.

That other guy made a better The Farce Engorges Plinkett review some months ago and in 20 minutes no less.

I'll file this Plinkett review under slowly dawning, unimaginable disappointed. I think I'll unsub from RLM and just check for BotW from time to time. It's the only thing of theirs that feels genuine and not watered down now.

32:00 confirms prequel shills on Cred Forums are paid by disney

>Why is the republican REGULAR ARMY called the RESISTANCE?
It isn't. The regular army isn't in the movie.

Hes right, why didn't she kiss those sweet BBLs?

Not at all.

This is like going to Chic Filet and being given pulled pork, or beef curry.

He has done a ton of Plinkett Reviews, and while they're about different movies and some have different humor styles, its all about being overly critical (and he never listens) and nit-picking and going through the movie with a fine comb.

This wasn't a TFA review. It shouldn't have been called that. If it was "Plinkett rambles for 2 hours and talks about circles" I still would have watched it, but wouldn't have rolled my eyes at it.

Why not just make another prequel video then? There is no reason to tack on some TFA ramblings.

Didn't Mike like Civil War?

Hasn't he given tepid endorsements of most Marvel movies (when in fact they're all garbage except for maybe three of them -- Iron Man, Ant Man, and maaaybe CA:WS)?

>Mike spends time talking about how bitching about women in Ghostbusters was overblown as a corporate meme
>Mike spends time talking about how bitching about blacks in Star Wars was a legitimate problem on the internet

???

>Why not just make another prequel video then?

Because of the "WHERE'S TEH FUCKING PLINKETT REVIEW ON TFA" in the comments of all their videos

she's gay

You can like something and still be able to critically look at it. That's actually one of the symbols of higher order thinking.

>It shouldn't have been called that
it wasn't

During the winter where I live the roads gets covered in thick layers of ice that gets slippery. The sand makes it not slippery.

>makes a bad Plinkett review on purpose
>no more whining about lack of Plinkett reviews

we've known that for years

>PreRec stream cancelled today due to fear of autists inundating them with retarded questions about the new Plinkett

I don't think any of them liked Civil War. They all agreed the action scenes were good and it was entertaining but that the plot was shit and the villain was boring.

But I mean I'm talking to a guy who thinks Marvel movies are all trash so I don't think any amount of reason will counter your attempts to be contrarian and intellectual.

Do you guys think this is like the first prequel?

People that were waiting for this are tricking themselves into thinking this was good

>Check out the subreddit "I know this wasn't the best but it was a sold new way of review"

Only a couple of good lines

>Black guy not shooting a gun?

Padded with nearly an hour of shit

Eventually people will come to see this as shit until someone brings out a ring theory tier explanation

nice try, they use salt for that

like poetry

>PreRec stream cancelled today
oh no

We do that too. The sand is just less of a killer on the vegetation and it doesn't cause shit to rust.

>Mike already said he liked TFA, so I don't know what they were expecting out of this

He liked Star Trek 2009 and spent most of that review talking about Star Trek 2009. I'm in the majority camp that hated the prequels and loved Force Awakens, but I was expecting Plinkett to talk about the movie itself more.

Here's my 3 hour review of "Mr. Plinkett's The Star Wars Awakens Review"

The prequel of Plinkett reviews.

>those times RT had to retcon a consensus in the description

He still could have gone through the movie over the course of 2 hours and talk about each and every bit and still overall think the movie is decent. He could point out the obvious flaws, the parts he liked, and discuss soft rebooting and relying on fan service, and stuff like that.

You don't have to hate a movie to give it a Plinkett style review.

Instead, he seemed like he just kinda didn't know what he wanted to do, so he just spoke incoherently for 1:40.

This is pretty mediocre as far as Plinkett reviews go, near the bottom. It had some funny bits, and even mediocre Plinkett is still good, but I hope that he realizes the mistakes he made.

It's Called "Star Wars Awakens Review" and in the thumbnail it says a review of The Force Awakens and much much more.

It's still marketed as a review of TFA.

>added with nearly an hour of shit

Yep, I skipped ahead a lot and I still feel like I spent too much time on that video.

I'm 41 minutes in and he hasn't mention TFA in detail at all, when does he start?

I'm not arguing that. It just seems like most people expected him to trash it completely just to justify why they hate the movie.

Scientist Man and Plinkett and Mike Stoklassa are three completely different characters in the RLM cinematic universe keep your lore straight

oh

t.ignorant desert dweller

>loved Force Awakens,

How? I legitimately want to know how anyone can see any merit in the movie.

kotor came out before the prequels

what is the hug song?

>it took them 50 minutes to start critiquing the film
You Fucking hacks I diden't come to see you shit on retarded millennial cuckbait posts for 30 minutes

>mediocre
>near the bottom

it was a fun, excellently executed adventure movie with many great moments. it's not ground breaking but it was a much better movie than the Marvel/capeshit movies.

Is RLM dead now?

>hating on Goonies
I'm sorry that shit holds up. I'll give them the rest.

is that why han shot first?

no

>What did you expect Vader did, then? Like the dudes a black mask wearing magician if he hasn't done some sadistic fucking shit.

Well just the shit I said was enough. Slapping a few dudes around and trying to kill people who get in the way of his plans is redeemable. Bisecting a bunch of children isn't.

>Also, killing the Younglings shows his devotion to the Emperor, or at least to saving Padame.

Well that whole thing is dumb for so many reasons and I'll just get called a Plinkett parrot if I point out why but basically Anakin falls on his knees and sucks the Emperor's dick for basically no reason. He doesn't get "seduced" into the dark side. Like there's no moment where Anakin uses the powers of the dark side and discovers how much easier it is, how he can do things he's never done before with it.

No instead Palpatine tells him a lie about saving Padme and even after this becomes an obvious lie Anakin still goes off and kills children.

But okay let's just assume Anakin is a mental retard who continued to believe Palpatine's lie about being able to cheat death. Even though Palpatine changed his original promise of "you can overcome death with the dark side" to "only one has cheated death, but if you work with me I'll try and help, maybe".

After he's in the suit and Padme is dead, he literally has no reason to be loyal to the Emperor anymore, because he was never "seduced" into the dark side, he was tricked into it under a promise that goes undelivered. So why the fuck is he sat there at the end of ROTS with his arms crossed watching the Death Star being built? There' s no gradual transition to Anakin being a bad guy. He gets tricked into being bad and stays tricked even after it's revealed to be a trick.

It's fucking stupid. He kills children because he's a dumbass, not because he was desperate.

No, BotW is still kicking.

I'm just left wondering did Mike do this on purpose as a "fuck you" to everyone who bashed TFA /wanted more Plinkett reviews or did he genuinely believe it was okay to call the video a "TFA Review" when he spends over half of the video talking about Lucas and the prequels.

In terms of Plinket reviews this is probably one of the worst. It's very evident Mike didn't want to do this since he adores TFA.

it can't be that good, it hasn't been remade yet
you fell for their bait

Not him, but I hate the review because it doesn't feel like I'm learning anything interesting about the movie. The original three reviews felt like I was watching educational material for film school.

This is is just almost two hours about nothing in particular. Rich Evans and Aids Moby talking about movie for two hours was more insightful.

>marketed
Lol it wasn't "marketed" at all you dumb cunt

>before the prequels
>Kotor released 2003
>before ep 1 (1999)
>before ep 2 (2002)
sure

Daily reminder the prequels are superior and the Force Awakens is a shitty anti-white propaganda remake of a New Hope.

What was the hugs song from?

Way too many fucking montages. Jesus Christ. It's like two hour's worth of "Event happens in both movies" or "Funny names for things" or "Characters who are gay" or whatever.

They're not fucking funny and if they weren't there the review would be a nice, condensed 30+ minutes.

How is it contrarian to think Marvel movies are trash?

I loved Superman, Superman 2, Batman, Batman returns, Nolan first 2 Batman movies, Spider-Man 2, Iron Man, Blade, Judge Dredd, and thought BvS was at least a valiant effort even if it failed.

But the other Marvel movies are safe, boring, paint-by-numbers mass productions with zero artistic merit. It's not "contrarian" to take this view. If you love these movies you are truly a pleb. They're as bad as the Transformer movies.

This review is Plinkett's Phantom Menace.

The video isn't called TFA Review though.

Yea, Goonies still holds up its an all time classic

>a "TFA Review"

He didn't call it that.

The prequels were easy to dig into because he hated those. TFA is just engineered to be as unoffensive as possible and it's the movies biggest flaw.

It's hard to tell with Mike.

He could have wanted to make a TFA review, but didn't know how, because the other Plinkett reviews are about tearing the movies apart.

He could have made it as a joke, and was secretly laughing about spending an hour talking about circle theories and George Lucas.

Or maybe he is passive-aggressive and realized that all anyone wants him to do is make Plinkett reviews so he made one that will piss of the fans on purpose and OH MY GOD MIKE IS TURNING INTO GEORGE LUCAS

>Rich Evans and Aids Moby talking about movie for two hours was more insightful.
now let's not go crazy here

>Judge Dredd
>marvel movie

ok buddy

The Force Awakens: Into Reference

You're learning this time that the movie industry has become an assembly line of reused and safe ideas and that none of that film school shit matters because it's been boiled down to a science by the big companies. Plus a bonus 30 minutes nailing the coffin into prequel defenders.

>literally half the video is prequels
>no interesting points to make about the new film
>only exists to please the fans
Is being a cynical cash grab while reviewing a cynical cash grab the ultimate pottery?

Did Mike genuinely believe it was okay to put a found-footage serial killer movie in his Phantom Menace review? I mean, who thinks that's okay? There might be something seriously wrong with this Mike guy.

Isn't Plinkett talking about the current state of Star Wars more fucking important than The Force Awakens itself? That's why I found the first half of the review more interesting than the talk of TFA itself.

...

>IT'S NOT A FORCE AWAKENS REVIEW, HE NEVER SAID THAT
>The video description is literally "I squeeze gats till my clips is empty. A review of The Force Awakens and much much more..."

He didn't review Force Awakens at all. Though, there was much much much much much much much much much much much more...

They talked about character motivation. Plinkett just talks about the superficial things.

No it doesn't you manchild.

It is, which is why I think he chose that subject. Where Star Wars is now is basically the perfect reflection of where the movie industry itself is. Plus some people were expecting him to validate their opinions by shitting on TFA for 90 minutes and he clearly was never going to deliver on that premise. His criticisms of the movie itself feel like a half-hearted attempt to appease them when I kinda think he shouldn't have even have bothered since the previous hour or so of the video was a lot more interesting and important.

I already knew how cynical showbiz is.

He's not arguing whether or not kids like sw he's saying that disney targeted the movie towards them.

learn2read fagot

The original Superman movies are the definition of safe. Literally one of the most beloved characters in American history in a very standard comic book superhero story. It's a movie saved entirely by the execution, acting, and general heart put into it by the people who directly worked on it, exactly like current Marvel movies.
Superman is far better in my opinion, but that's for a lot of reasons outside of creativity. Marvel movies, though they're a product of Disney wanting money, are at least made by people who legitimately want to make them and put effort into them. They would bomb if nobody were trying.

and most people already knew how shitty the prequels were

Fucking this, we all started ironically liking them because of Sheev, but then babbys grew up and thought that they were in good company when they unironically praised the prequels in meme threads.

youtu.be/Lyp_fkz80eM

>tumblr

Yeah and so what? I agree Man of Steel was an abortion but I liked Superman Returns. Also loved GotG and thought Deadpool was very entertaining.

Point is, disagreeing with Rotten Tomatoes doesn't make you a "contrarian." And just because a movie gets rated highly there doesn't mean it's a consensus favorite among everyone. You know Apocalypto and Back to the Future 2 got like a 65 and a 63 there, right?

Either would be fine if the critique was actually cutting like the older reviews.

He should have chose one or the other, not both.

Spend 2 hours talking about the general concept of the star wars movies, their place in film, and the state of the film industry. Awesome!

Spend 2 hours reviewing TFA in depth. Awesome!

Don't do both and talk about circles.

>it's a Mike doesn't understand the concept of Platonic relationships episode

he did review Force Awakens. it's just not what you wanted to hear.

red letter media: opinion generator

Well, yeah.

Watching the Prequels is fucking hysterical when you have the context of the whole Sheev posting and Plinkett reviews.

Well, there was that time Mike fucked every girl in their amateur filmmaker circle, including Jay's oneitis.

>5 year old girl buying action figs

yeah i'd bet you're an expert on those

Superman was way more "adult" than any Avengers movie. The whole sequence where he pulls dead Lois out of the dirt, screams in agony, and then turns back time has more emotional intensity than anything in a shitty Marvel movie.

Raimi Spider-Man movies had heart and humanity too.

Marvel movies are ZERO stakes and dramatic failures. Just lots of face punching with no consequences.

5 more minutes

How long was spent actually analyzing the plot? 10 minutes? 15? 20?

Out of nearly 120 minute video?

I think he spent just as much time talking about diversity than he did the actual movie.

Its not about what he says, its about how he does it. It's not a real Plinkett review if he doesn't go through it scene by scene and line by line.

Does he not think the movie was worth doing that to? Then don't make a review.

Mike, please. You're drunk. Go to bed.

How is defending the fucking Goonies not Tumblr? It was annoying when it was released and it's more annoying to watch as an adult. If you can make it 15 minutes into that shit without getting a migraine then I'm just embarrassed for you.

Well they would if they made figs for people to buy.

#Where'sRey

Toho Films actually had a formula for making Godzilla films. They could actually make a pretty accurate guess at exactly how much money a Godzilla film would make depending on what monsters and what plot structure they used.
If Japs from the 70s-80s did it I'm positive Disney jews have a formula as well.

>implying girls don't buy action figures

sexist much?

>It's not a real Plinkett review if he doesn't go through it scene by scene and line by line.
muh made-up rules

>Ebert
>Pleb

LITTLE

>If you can make it 15 minutes into that shit without getting a migraine then I'm just embarrassed for you.

Spielberg made popcorn movies

JJ makes cash grabs

I wish they'd just go back to fixing VCRs.

Well, he did hate Pacino Scarface.

...

His ratings are almost always terrible

That's a nice picture of yourself

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

reminder the superior tfa video was released ages ago

>the big C

Someone with the mind of a child argues like a child. Shocking.

Sorry I said your favorite childhood friend simulator sucks dicks.

>MRW I'm watching that first half of the review youtube.com/watch?v=l1YmS_VDvMY

So you're saying remakes aren't just shitty cash grabs because they don't actually give fans anything they want beyond lipservice to the original?

Sure, but he did neither. I would have liked an actual strong critique of the current movie industry. That might have been a great idea, especially if you wanted to hold off on an actual TFA until people uncover more to critique or we all get a better cultural perspective by waiting for more of these to come out or whatever.

Instead, we get lukewarm, often contradictory opinions about both with weak writing.

If you're under 15 you'll still like the Goonies, IMO. It's just not a movie for grown-ups.

Plus, the shots of Oregon are really nice.

How did he disprove the ring theory? Skipped over that shit to find the review, but reading over it, seems pretty interesting.

Why does he completely ignore Rey's shit acting?

He harped on the acting of the prequels to no end, but gives her a pass because ???

Ring theory really should've been a separate episode

Once again RLM uses baity looking titles to fool people

it's shit

Because there is no ring he copies whatever the fuck he wants

>Once again RLM uses baity looking titles to fool people
Once again? The fuck are you even talking about?

george lucas literally saying in interviews he's making shit up as he goes along but dumbass millennials want you to believe he planned it all along

I cant believe im using the word, but RLM might actually be disney shills. This half-assed "not review" was just a fuck you to the critics and a "point and laugh since its not really a review-review" episode.

New hope is more of a kids movie than goonies

He doesn't. In fact, he agrees that it might be possible. But also that each film draws from every other film so it is hard to really prove definitively. Also, that repeating patterns don't make it good or deep and that Lucas wrote these quickly and likely didn't put that much thought into them and just rearranged plot elements from the original trilogy.

They pulled something similar with the holiday special

Essentially the Ring Theory gets so convoluted in its supposition that certain OT films mirror/are inverse to certain Prequel films (at least thematically/structure wise) that it tries to explain away contradictions to its construct as "circles inside circles".

>It's still marketed as a review of TFA.
This. The ads in all the trade papers called it "RedLetterMedia Presents Mike Stoklasa as Plinkett—Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review" How can they get away with this?

>muh prequels
>muh disney wars
Could have spent those two hours rewatching Empire.

The prequels actually seem better acted considering the shit script the actors had to work with.

With Obi-Wan getting slain, Alderan getting genocided, Luke looking at the burnt remains of his aunt and uncle, countless Red Squadron pilots getting smoked, kill count overall in the dozens (on screen), limbs getting severed, etc.

Sure.

I got the impression that Plinkett thought it(ring theory) was possible, if it weren't for the fact that George Lucas blatantly admitted that he was making up shit as he went along and the ring theory was purely coincidental?

At least Rey had some semblance of a personality. Most of the characters were boring in the prequels.

That is the difference between writing and acting.

Rey had character traits, but the actress was shit.

Sheev made no fucking sense, but the actor was amazing.

>it doesn't count as a real review because it's not specifically what I wanted him to say
Lol faggot

Death does not equal maturity. If you mentioned that the results of those deaths made Luke/Leia and even Han better characters(8.e. Rethink their lives and choices), I would agree with your post that the death element makes a new hope not a kid movie. But since it seems you just label anything with death in it as an "adult movie", your opinion is invalidated.

Beauty is in the eye of its beholder, good friend.

>ring theory was possible
the evidence for it is incredibly shallow even without lucas's statements

They've been dead for years

>Literally posting a screen shot of the same face she makes throughout the whole movie

You just disproved your whole point, boyo.

I should say I think she is pretty, but that has nothing to do with her horrible acting

>But since it seems you just label anything with death in it as an "adult movie", your opinion is invalidated.

Yeah, but I didn't. I didn't just catalogue the random Stormtrooper deaths. I also mentioned Luke seeing his family's smoking corpses and his new mentor being murdered (in a confusing apparent act of self-sacrifice). These are heavy dramatic moments that nothing in the Goonies comes close to.

In terms of story maybe it had no connection, but in some visuals and mainly theme, I think they mirrored each other. But I havent read the full theory, so I dont know if it(ring theory) argues for story and other shit yet

Nah, I believe it was more that he thought it was mildly convincing (as much as any other conspiracy theory, as he stated), but ultimately flawed in its reasoning and easily disproved due to its convoluted nature.

Jesus, prequelfags really are delusional.

Jesus christ I'm falling asleep.
Why would you try to squeeze three reviews into one? He hasn't even talked about the movie yet.

Quite possibly the most boring review yet.

I guess I agree with your viewpoint. I just think kill counts and in some instances, limbs being chopped off, are bad examples.

Why is everyone fucking complaining about the new Plinkett? Just be glad it was even made

I honestly thought her acting was fine, not amazing. Never bothered me even after people pointed out that kind of shit here.

You are free to not like it though, that seems reasonable. I just don't think she is objectively terrible, whatever that means.

...and I think she is pretty too.

I assume RLM gives a pass to a lot of things because they're so cynical and jaded toward movies in general that their standards have lowered considerably.

Basically, if something isn't complete dogshit, it's given a pass. It doesn't mean they think it's actually good, great, etc, but that it's mediocre enough to not deserve heavy criticism.

In Ridley's instance, it's probably because the acting in the prequels was so stoic, stale, and/or awkward (or inappropriate for the scene/dialogue) that by comparison (BY COMPARISON), Ridley was a breath of fresh air. (The previous statement is not my opinion, but my guess as to RLM's thought process.)

But I agree. It should have at least been touched upon. Personally, I thought Ridley was okay, but nothing more.

nope

>muh ADD

This

as a joke, user...

Sheev was funny because he was terrible.

Hi Jay

I guess I can relate from experience. I was born in 75. Saw Star Wars and Goonies when I was 10 years old. We all loved Goonies, but it was a kid's movie, like ET. Star Wars, especially Empire, we watched into our 20s and 30s and never felt like it was a kids' movie. It was in the same league as The Road Warrior or Terminator or Conan the Barbarian. It was popular but pretty violent and gritty too.

Even Jedi, which is totally disrespected by millennials because of the Ewoks. Jabba's scenes and the final fight between Luke and Vader are the high points of the entire franchise.

>great moments

Name some

>finally get to talking about TFA
>start nitpicking the movie just like he did for hours in the prequel reviews
>makes fun of other people for nitpicking a movie that doesn't make sense.

It just felt like rambling and touching over points that have been discussed to death. Talk about disappointing.

Bounty Hunter is a goodass game. Republic Commando is GOAT.

I got that feeling too but I really don't understand why. Why would he avoid criticizing something for being bad? It seems out of character for RLM

Im having a hard time sitting through this review. I wish he would just start talking about the force awakens already.

He did something different.
He did what he wanted to.

Just like George did with the prequels.
He could have just rehashed his PM review because it'd be a guaranteed hit but instead he did something different. He took a risk.

IT'S
FUCKING
POETRY
IT
FUCKING
RHYMES

It was b8 m8

Because he already staked out his position in HitB. I think he was hinting at the idea that his opinion changed over time, but he didn't really get into it.

Agreed 100%