Can we please have some serious comebacks for once?

I would probably just laugh it off so that I didn't come across as a giant prick.

"Oh yeah? Well your Subway here sucks!"

>We would chat, you’d make me laugh, you’d make me laugh A LOT, and then all of a sudden you’d bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt… and then you would leave

>That would never happen, I'm not that funny

There you go anons, self deprecating humour is the only way to go there.

>That's a little meanspirited, but I can take a joke. Moving on.

>What's funny? The part where you use me to take two strangers to your room assuming they will sleep with you, or the part where they would never even acknowledge your existence?

>Suck my dick, faggot!

>That happens a lot, actually.

Fuck I'm tired

>"at least they'll call me back afte they're done"
>"that's a confusing way to get you to your clients, but as long as i get my cut for setting it up"

>Joke's on you, they're both gay as fuck.

upvoted

Heh

>That joke's very dry. It's almost kinda like your vajoina

>How are Brad and Leo paying you? I got money too.

Why are yanks literally allergic to banter?

Why have the pasty fat humourless American autists of Cred Forums taken up a crusade against this woman for making a half-decent joke?

I guess it's not really surprising that a country of overly-medicated people who carry around guns to kill people who insult their honour is incapable of self-deprecation

Yeah well I bet you're the French girl. I bet your breath stinks really bad.

No it honestly shows that she must be on the spectrum if she actually thought it would be okay to make a joke like that to someone you've never met before and on live television.

Why are you still on this OP? Do you literally have nothing else in your life? Did it hurt YOUR feelings that badly? Jesus dude, get the fuck over it.

Are you just trying to block this trauma out of your head entirely? We know it's difficult to process, but you cannot just avoid it and must keep trying to confront it and understand it so we can let the healing process begin.

Jonah vs Frog threads MUST contain the following:
1.This exact pic as in OP
2.A greentext rebuttal
3. "That's how it's done" at the end

LMAO what a fat fucking baby Jonah is

>even your fantasies are boring

This.

It's all about the healing.

If he did come up with a sick comeback, the news media will spin it with Jonah being a sexist pig who assaulted a poor woman on TV

Who are you the jonah police?

"I leave that early? Wow, you must work fast!"

Job done, go home.

He was doing an interview to promote his movie, something actors notoriously hate doing. He didn't know the woman in question and it was a bit out of the blue. There's a difference between your buddies ribbing you and the cashier at the grocery store calling you a fat fucking faggot.

Not that he should have been so bent out of shape, but he was probably in a shitty mood and it wasn't that great of a joke to begin with.

If there's something wrong with you, and someone truthfully points it out, there's nothing you can do to make yourself look better. He's a fatfuck, she pointed it out, now everyone knows.

What you can do is try to drag her down with you. Either by shaming her for pointing out your flaw, or by pointing out something wrong with her. In this case, being fat is his own fault so you can't shame her for saying it. And slighting her back would just make you look petty and reactive.

Therefore, there is literally no response. Just nod and move on and pretend it never happened.

I realize Jonah Hill has copped a lot of flab in recent years for not straying too far from comedy and tucking into much meatier rolls, but there's a lot more to this man than meets the ribeye, and it turns out he's really an all-round good guy.
If everyone on here could get off their high whores, face the cold hard fats, and stop pudding him down for two seconds, they'd realize being a fry in the ointment isn't always a piece of cake.
If there is subway you could find it in your hearts to show the milf of human kindness towards Jonah, you might come to see the reason he's regarded widely by his peers, and is, pound for pound, a true heavyweight of the Hollywood scene.
As Jonah himself once said, "when I'm sorting the beef from the chaff I always beer in mind, every hotdog has his day when the chips are brown. You've just gotta keep your eggs held high and remember that a burger in the hand is worth chewing the bush."

Hey thats my pasta cool

>You sure you don't want any of this? I am packing a foot long after all
>Proceeds to pull out his handy pocket sub, put it on his crotch and flop it around while oil, vegetables, and meatballs fly everywhere

You must be Italian, your pasta is super tasty.

>"...you'd bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt."
>"Jokes on you bitch, I don't have any friends."

>Jokes on you, I have an army of 400 pound hackers that will be writing a BOOK on comebacks as soon as this goes live. Then we'll see who has the last laugh

This thread again. Jonah HIll will be remembered when others are forgotten. That is the ultimate comeback. When everyone that hates Jonah is dead, he'll be forever preserved in films; films people will always remember. It doesn't matter that you hate him, because he's already beat you.

why hasnt someone posted a video of whatever happened?

>That's funny in my fantasy YOU'D be the one leaving

Nothing even happened. OP is no doubt an MRA beta who is taking it a little too personally
youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

>defend Jonah
but I hate him as an actor and don't give a shit as a man

>that wasn't a very nice thing to say

>'at least theyll call me back after they're done'
Objectively the greatest comeback proposed in any of these threads. Short, sweet and brutal.

They are not my friends.

>In 10 years time your face will start crumbling into a wrinkled mess and your vagina will crinkle up like a burning sweet-wrapper. Then we'll both be making men laugh!

>all those ass-ravaged MRA in the comments
>MUH IF A MAN SAID IT TO A WOMAN ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE
lol when will they learn

wtf

Okuuuuuurrr

They're not wrong, though.

wrong. it would be exactly as awkward as it was with jonah

Just make a penis joke
"A lot of women say that until they see my penis"

There. Everybody laughs, because everybody laughs at the word penis, you imply you have a big dick and you can pretend the weather girl is now interested in you.

>Ok, so that just happened... wow you really said that.

>Ok, so let's deal with this maturely. Maybe you're emotionally processing with your own problems right now, ok? I appreciate that. Maybe there's going to be a lot of rain coming up or something.And... I don't want to diminish any anxieties you may have, I really don't. But you need to understand that what you said? It was inappropriate and hurtful.

>Even if you think it was a joke, you have to appreciate that it can still hurt people. I may be a big shot Hollywood actor but hey... I have feelings. I get out of bed and put my socks on like everyone else. And I was hurt by what you said. But more than that I was dissapointed you felt the need to say it.

>But I'm not angry with you, anger is not going to help anything. I just want you to admit your mistake and understand my feelings, I know we can build a meaningful emphatic connection. We can process this incident in a positive emotional way. We grow past this, we can heal and hopefully... we can both learn a little bit more understanding. Thank you.

It's dumb. Anythinb involving Jonah's fantasy is a dumb response and appears obviously butthurt reactionary. Jonah doesn't even know her, nobody would buy that he has fantasies with her.

holy shit you werent even joking literally every other comment is about "if the roles were reversed... if it was a male presenter... if it was a man saying to a woman..."
fucking grow a pair you cringeworthy faggots

>and here I was thinking the only way you were getting laid is if we used the French meaning
(Laide means ugly in French)

Only good one realistically speaking.

...

>Why are you doing this, I mean what are you trying to achieve? I don't even know who you are. First you come up to me in the back room and start talking to me about the Holocaust. You know that I'm Jewish, right? But you're telling me how the numbers aren't right, and that I should read David Irving. What's wrong with you? Are you some kind of Jew-hater?

Perfect

>"you know I have a little fantasy of my own too"

*unsheathes katana*

This
Or
This

>How about I stay and have my way with you, you filthy French hussy? I'd tongue punch your fartbox like a jackhammer working the pavement. I'd reduce you to a quivering wet mess and then you'll be calling me every day asking for more.

This is actually the best one I've ever seen in these threads. Going too hard on yourself with self deprecating humor can make you just look beta or something, but this was simple and good.

The only coherent thoughts in your lumbering attempt at what I could only percieve as an impish slight was that I am indeed friends with many influential men of high regard.And while these men would gladly call me their friend they would make great efforts to hide their dealings with a fille de joie such as yourself.

what happened?

>I don't find that funny, at all. In America we have this something called respect, I find it quite disgusting for you to treat me this way. I came here on this show to promote my movie, not to be ridiculed by the weather girl. Is this what France is, everyone is open to ridicule? That's not a society I want any part of. Maybe manners is just something only Americans still practice.
I would have nodded to her and gotten up and left. They would have all been dumbstruck. That would have shut that bitch up right then and there

YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, UH THE JERK STORE CALLED, THEY'RE OUTTA YOU

...

...

Putain que tu viens de dire putain de moi, petite salope? Je vais vous faire connaître Je suis diplômé en haut de ma classe dans les Navy Seals, et je l'ai été impliqué dans de nombreux raids secrets sur Al-Quaeda, et j'ai plus de 300 tués confirmés. Je suis formé dans la guerre des gorilles et je suis le meilleur tireur d'élite dans les forces armées entières des États-Unis. Vous n'êtes rien pour moi, mais juste une autre cible. Je vais vous essuyez la baise avec précision les goûts qui n'a jamais été vu auparavant sur cette Terre, marquer mes mots putains. Vous pensez que vous pouvez tirer en disant que la merde me sur Internet? Détrompez-vous, baiseur. Comme nous parlons Je contacte mon réseau secret d'espions à travers les Etats-Unis et de votre adresse IP est en cours de tracé à l'heure actuelle afin de mieux vous préparer à la tempête, la mouche. La tempête qui efface la petite chose pathétique que vous appelez votre vie. Vous êtes putain morts, gamin. Je peux être partout, à tout moment, et je peux vous tuer plus de sept cents façons, et c'est juste avec mes mains nues. Non seulement je suis beaucoup entraîné dans le combat sans armes, mais j'avoir accès à tout l'arsenal du Corps des Marines des États-Unis et je vais l'utiliser à sa pleine mesure pour essuyer le cul misérable de la surface du continent, petite merde. Si seulement vous pouviez savoir ce châtiment impie votre petit commentaire "intelligent" était sur le point de faire tomber sur vous, peut-être que vous auriez tenu ta putain de langue. Mais on ne pouvait pas, vous ne l'a pas, et maintenant que vous payez le prix, vous Goddamn idiot. Je vais chier fureur sur vous et vous noyer en elle. Vous êtes putain morts, kiddo.

Do you, little girl, truly believe that you have bested me your pathetic quip? Do you even have an inkling of an idea who I am and what I am capable of, darling? Let me tell you, princess.
Have you ever drank a glass of black rhinoceros blood? Of course not, I was just being colloquial to start this story with an anecdote. The first time I had a glass I was in South Africa, taking a celebratory drink in Johannesburg after completing a successful hunt. You see, in South Africa they don't hunt lion, or elephant. We hunted a more dangerous game: the kaffir, or black man. I finally had a 7 year old boy cornered in an Oingo Bongo merchandise warehouse when the thoughts passed through my mind: Should I pull the trigger? Can I ever come back to who I was before this moment? I pulled the trigger, made my first 100 million dollars.

This is who I am. Do not challenge me again or you shall feel my wrath crashing down on you. I take pity on you so be grateful. Be grateful for the rest of that pile of filth you call your life. Now excuse me, I have an appointment at Subway.

What was her endgame?

"In my fantasy I'm eating a meatball marinara alone."

There yuo FUCKING IDIOTS. What do I win?

>Stare at her intensly for the rest of the podcast while playing with a toothpick in his mouth
>Follow her to apartment afterwards
>Bash her head in
>Go back to usa
Probably the best comeback 2bh lads

>I guess these are the type of guys for someone as trashy as you : a crook and child-abuser.

I fear for her safety

I don't think the Jonahfans will let this go so easily

fill me in, what actually happened here?

I'm pretty sure everytime he plays the role of a bro-tier dude who in the end is revealed as a psychopath or generally a selfish piece of shit, he's playing himself. Considering this, i can understand why he would be butthurt about a joke from the fucking french weather lady. He's of a dying breed, the elitist actor who doesn't give a fuck, but he has to hide his power level in pedowood.

what the fuck are you rambling about?

>fuck you say bastard son of bitch

They put estrogen in the water over there, that's why they all have mantits and whine about their feelings all day

the joke is really good, classic primetime european tv-show joke. His paycheck is on such another level from the common man that there isn't a sufficient amount of shit you could give him, he would never deserve it anyway

That's just frog humor.
Why are muricans so thin skinned?

>listen here you slimy frog fucking frenchie garlic cunt stink bitch, I can fucking GUARANTEE you one HUNDRED fucking percent that neither me, nor pitt, nor dicaprio would touch your putrid fucking effluvial frog stinking bile leaking cunt grool with a ten fucking FOOT baguette, so take that little fucking egotistical, self-styled condescending remark, couple it with your arrogant frenchie fucking hubris and shove it up that gaping feculent cunt hole you call an ass you rancid fucking french whore

BITCH IF YOU WANT TO GET PLOWED SO BAD, I'LL RENT A TRUCK AND WE CAN MEET IN NICE

I wouldn't trust things coming out of the serf cockroach empire. Most of them are anachronisms that should be long dead like the country itself.

I mean considering some stupid kid implied that fat, blonde female comedian slept around even though that's what all her jokes center on and he got BTFO by internet feminists, isn't this . . . equality?

>action jonah please
>the french inshults have always been noted for their virulensh...there is a classhic insult by a french tv hosht, and like the most offenshive insults, it's tashteless and shaid without tact, sho fuck you bit-
>CUT!

. . . . w o a h .. . . .. l i ke. . . . . . . w o a h...... . . . .

well it took nearly 100 posts but we finally got one

first non-autismo reply I've seen since it happened

What did she say to him exactly?

Just react the same as joaquim phoenix at letterman

"Haha funny..shes funny"

wouldnt work. people minds would be focused on the " you’d bring your friends Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt… and then you would leave" part. so when he replies with what you said they would be confused before they exhaled sharply out of their noses.
nice try though

>Banter
>With someone you dont know
Fucking numale betas, what the shit

Every one of those comebacks is always so fucking cringey that I'm starting to think Jonah's move of crying like a little bitch was still the best.

Jonah could have banged her anyway. its a dumb insult

>The last time i laughed at a french person was when they were getting run over by a muslim on bastille day