Mr. Plinkett's The Star Wars Awakens Review Discussion Thread #3

continued from youtube.com/watch?v=miVRaoR_8xQ

no Cred Forums shitposting allowed

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes
youtube.com/watch?v=PYMbCZAf6Ow
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

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I love how he never points out the fact that Kylo is basically the most powerful force user ever seen on screen, he can stop a blaster bolt mid air, and hold it there in the back of his mind like it's nothing as he walks, thinks, and talks.

Then somehow, he lose a force pull to a girl with zero force training.

>SJW's will probably get triggered because he said "Tranny" and made a joke about black people having a high chance of being criminals
>Cred Forumstards already butt-blasted beyond belief
Pic related

He's a tryhard.

Vader never needed to stop a blaster bolt in midair because it's a waste of time and he's not trying to impress anyone.

>Why didn't the white girl kiss the black guy?
DROPPED

Yeah you've already posted this. Several times.

The only part I disliked was the diversity initiative section near the end, the rest of it was alright criticism.

>Review perfectly timed to renew Star Wars buzz before Rogue One comes out
>Takes some half assed potshots at Disney but always pussies out and says they're making good movies
Patreon dollars paid for this review? I think not, I sense more a more mousey source.

>waaah he only does a TFA Review for like 40% of the video

Well deal with it faggots, it's a video about the current state of Star Wars and its fandom after the big Disney takeover (hence the title "The Star Wars Awakens").

Also there isn't as much to criticize and dissect in TFA as there was in the clusterfuck of the Prequels, he admits that most of the stuff in his TFA review is just nitpicking.

I'll continue posting it for the benefit of the people who are getting into these threads late. I've noticed that some of the comments have been deleted by youtube and I want to preserve the triggering.

>Mike Stoklasa walks onto stage looking troubled
>Waits for chants of "kill the white man" to die down before beginning
>"Something has been really bothering me lately, I always think about how all white people need to die but I'm still alive and so are all of you"
>Crowd boos their own existence
>"I think it's time we did something about that"
>Mike pull out a handgun and shoots a white man in the front row
>"Fuck that guy"
>Crowd burst into uncontrollable laughter
>"Fuck all of you too"
>He starts randomly shooting into the crowd
>He runs out of ammunition and throws the gun on the ground
>The crowd look severely dissapointed
>"Well, time to finish the job"
>He opens his shirt to reveal a suicide vest
>"DEATH TO ALL WHITE PEOPLE!"
>The crowd begins take their feet for a standing ovation
>He explodes, taking out the whole theater

They never explain how she has such nice teeth. How many portions does a tube of Crest cost?

>Cred Forums legitimately thinks this is funny
At least you didn't fuck up finding and replacing Louis with Mike this time around. That was embarrassing.

Who the fuck cares?

I went to a public screening of Mike Stocklasa's Star Wars: The Force Awakens review and the meme is pretty accurate

"I'm white, as you can tell."
>BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I'm so white that I'm not even gonna dignify that joke with a punchline, that's how dumb white people are"
>audience cheers
"I was walking home the other day"
>audience inexplicably starts chanting "IN-TER-RACIAL! IN-TER-RACIAL!
"Actually, I was on my way to the Interracial Breeding Ground with my two daughters...."
>everyone in the audience gets up from their seat and start singing "Whoop There It Is" at a deafening volume

I got out of there before it was too late. You do not wanna caught being a white male when he starts the "reparations" bit

Mike Cucklasa.

It's funny how just last week it was Mike "gas the kike" Stoklasa, but now seeing as he said something that goes against the Cred Forums status quo, he's an SJW cucklord

that close up over her dripping face and teeth was the most sexually arousing shot in all of cinematic history.

>I will not buy a ticket for Episode VIII unless I have an absolute guarantee that Rey will like the precum off of Finn's swollen black member and apologize for slavery on behalf of all white people

What did he mean by this?

I would have been happy with a summary of Star Wars developments since the last Plinkett review, even an extended one, but delving so heavily into obscure fan theories no one takes seriously and literally having a lengthy segment attacking clickbait (in the year of our Lord 2016) was overindulgent.

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>Review Discussion Thread #3

>Thread #3

More like thread # 79 at this point.

Guess OP wasn't here yesterday.

It's nothing but memes all the way down here.

I thought I was here to talk about the review, but I guess since I had a real life yesterday I fell behind and these threads are just Cred Forums shit.

>mike mention interracial kissing
>Cred Forums can't get black dick out of their heads for the next month

Nigger, he LITERALLY shat on Lucas, and JJ.

The fuck are you on about?

I agree with you that way too much time was spent on the ring theory but I thought the attack on clickbait was the funniest part of the review.

better than the entirety of episode III

After consistently praising JJ's work on Star Wars while patting himself on the back for calling it during his Star Trek review.

The funny thing is, the people legitimately bothered by this probably dream about black dick and need the internet to engage in denialism.

More important question: does this mean a return to more frequent Plinkett reviews? I'd really like to see him tackle Into Darkness and Beyond as a whole now that it appears the Reboot universe is dead. Or do we have to wait another 4 years?

>mfw I see tiny white peckers

Clickbait is so 2013, the segment just showed how out of touch with his audience Mike is.

Nah middle-aged men like Mike and Bill Burr still find themselves getting trapped by it. For them the struggle is real.

slightly better quality

Mike"s fantasy:

tfw this is literally you but it's hard to pinpoint why exactly this started and you're not happy with it so you just exist in a sort of frustrated self-loathing limbo which you can't escape

Didn't you see the PC setup? Windows 7 and VLC. Mike is out of date and pleb as fuck.

>avatar sequels
>cat lady screaming

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mike is still triggered that his shitty "all trailers are the same" video got called clickbait on here

That was just a set, I'm sure Mike uses Arch at home like any sensible person.

You don't really think the gag computer with the CRT monitor is what Mike and Jay do their editing work on, do you?

>Forgot Avatar even existed
>Googled sequel plans
>Turns out Mike was only just slightly exaggerating, they literally have sequels planned out to 2023

Why does she have such a clean cunny?

it's not fair

Best gags?

On clickbait sites defending the prequels with stupid pointless lists of minor things they did right:
>Again, it's like picking the positives of cancer.
>1. You get to stay at home from work!
>2. Save money at the Barber Shop!
>3. Eat what you want and STILL lose weight!

RIP Jay Bauman ;_;

>"Or as I call it birth control."

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Yes I know it was a gag.

Mike actually runs a Mac and still uses fucking Final Cut Pro 7

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This was funny but I felt bad for laughing because the joke wasn't very original and the metaphor wasn't very creative.

>"I never made it without biting."

Shitty review, TFA is worse then the prequels, yet he doesn't complain about any of it.

>TFA is worse then the prequels

found the ring theory retard

The fuck? Why is he just standing there and not taking another swing

It really, really is not.

>a review is shitty if it doesn't conform to my personal opinion

The prequels at least had a reason for existing. TFA is entirely superfluous.

>why isn't he trying to murder the girl he just asked to be his apprentice

KINO
>Baby's Day Out review
>Cop Dog review

FILM
>Star Trek reviews

MOVIE
>Star Wars reviews

FLICK
>James Cameron reviews
>Indiana Jones review

and mike says there wasn't sex in tfa

The prequels have the same reason to exist as TFA: make a bunch of money.

>a review is good if half of it isnt addressing the movie at all

Prequelbaby retards please go. Do you honestly think that the main reason that the prequels were made was to tell the origin story of darth vader and not to just make a fuckload of cash?

Yeah it's ironic isn't it

It's like that cop that wanted to take a pic of a teens erect cock, so he could compare it to sexting pics to prove it was the boy who sent the cock pic. And then it turned out he was a huge pedo and he killed himself before they could arrest him.

Shocking I know

Those are not mutually exclusive goals.

>Mike walks into a Film 101 class that he was invited to talk at
>Starts taking questions
>White guy with a RLM shirt asks which Italian neorealist director Mike likes best, "I personally like the films of Roberto Rossellini and his influence in the subsequent French New Wave art form."
>Mike gets visibly angry
>"Listen as a white male sometimes you need to shut the fuck up and let minorities speak"
>"You back there" He points to the pitch black man on his Iphone not paying attention
>"I would love to here an opinion from a proud Nubian man like yourself."
>Black guy wipes his lips and shrugs
>"Well I dunno, I mean you think them DC movies can get good an shit?"
>Mike smiles and starts clapping
>"What a wonderful mundane but interesting question."
>He turns to the white guy from before
>"You see that question is real you pale limp dicked fuck, take you college phony film degree and fuck off with your bullshit philosophies."
>White guy starts crying and runs out
>"Finally" mike says "Maybe the rest of you fucking white males should leave as well"
>The white guys look at their teacher
>She shrugs and says "Well you are evil white men"
>They quickly leave with their heads down
>"Now that thats over with lets get down to the real fun!"
>Mike instructs the white women to take off their pants and bend over the front of their desks
>They do so happily
>"Now will all the WELL HUNG BLACK DINGUSES please show these white ladies what real men can do!"
>The Black guys start fucking the white women like theres no tomorrow
>Mike starts jerking off in one hand and filming in the other
>"We aren't stopping until every young white girl in this school is BLACK BRED"
>Mike and the BBCs rove from hall to hall seducing and impregnating white women

There's "waiting for an answer" then there's "standing still for 23 seconds not killing her while she literally has her eyes closed"

The only reason they're not mutually exclusive is because the most profitable story to be told is darth vader's story. There is zero passion about the subject matter, and this is done quite nicely because of the fact that anakin's characterization and arc is dogshit.

This review sucked ass. He goes on a 50 minute tangent about the prequels for some reason and than lightly critiques TFA but still gives the movie a pass for some reason.

What a fucking retard. TFA was a pile of hot garbage. Check out E;R's channel for a superior TFA review.

I think it's reasonable talking about political stuff because thats in the video as well

>There is zero passion about the subject matter

George clearly had a passion for it, Hayden was just a shit actor.

Who is ER? Link pls I don't have to time to keep track of jewtubers.

He's a decent enough actor, his material is garbage. I mean, it's overdone, butt the i don't like sand scene is a prime example of this.

>This review sucked ass
Just like the actual movie.

To be fair, with the lines Hayden was given, I doubt anyone could have been a convincing actor.

The prequels were so badly written.

>this constant shilling

I'd rather watch The Theater Anus.

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

youtube.com/watch?v=sg29Sa6QFes

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Surprising how easy it is to miss shit dialogue when you have hundreds of millions of dollars in visual effects caressing your eyeball.

I wonder how many great bits of dialogue with shit bits of film attached to it, sank to the bottom of history.

Are you actually this stupid? I need to know.

George is not just a bad director but also makes poor choices in the editing room.

Given multiple takes of an actor trying their best with the awful material given them, George almost always picked the worst one.

This better not be racist shit. Talk about an overused joke.

>ME NOT LIKE MOVIE
>WHY NOT FUNNY MOVIE MAN NOT LIKE MOVIE TOO
>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>retards think I'm angry that black people were in Star Wars
>in reality all I want is for black people to stop being so violent and couldn't give less of a fuck what fictional people are doing in a space fantasy movie

Why is this so hard to understand?

where were you when plinkett btfo Cred Forums

I agreed with a few points raised in this review, particularly that the new wave of cinematic universes is fucking depressing to the point at which the prequels seem quaint by comparison.

But why the fuck did we need 50 minutes on the "ring theory"?

Exactly! It's the same thing with people who get upset with racism and fascism; THEY ARE SECRETLY FASCISTS!!!

No one can have a strong ethical stance on anything without secretly craving it

>Cred Forums actually thinks that this is funny

He didn't btfo Cred Forums holy fuck stop making this about Cred Forums

hi Cred Forums

still mad about being btfo?

Don't worry, I don't think he makes fun of black people in it.

He makes fun of Jewish people though

why is racism overused? is atheism overused?

It's all most likely just one samefag too, just let him spam his le cuck memes by himself.

Well yeah that's why everyone is christian now

yes that's generally how it works

this is why you see people try so hard to absolve themselves in the public eye from their racism- they're terrified and disgusted by their lingering racist tendencies

How did he btfo Cred Forums? By saying that diversity is not a bad thing? Legitimately curious.

mike is a confirmed racist and posts nazi pepe images on pol

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If you have the same moral stance on something as 99% of the population but make a lot of noise and spectacle about it, people start to think something's up.

Mike is sooo fucking right

Finn should have destroyed Rey's tight little vag with his SUPERIOR BIG BLACK COCK and shoot his SUPERIOR BLACK SEMEN inside her

We need to teach every single women that sex with white males is unsatisfying and boring

BBC = good sex

Why is Mike so soft on TFA? Is it because of the implied interracial content?

TFA WAS worse than the prequels. Prove me wrong.

You can't.

>they're terrified and disgusted by their lingering racist tendencies

but why?

nah i totally agree

also, nice trips

to shit on youtube film critic culture as a whole

the whole ring of professional nitpickers and theorists need to jump off a cliff

it's such a generic mediocrity that i will unironically agree that it's worse than the prequels

i'll tell you when someone can tell me when he said he wanted racemixing instead of people acting like people in a movie

TFA worked as a movie, the prequels do not.

Counterpoint: Satan always lies.

atheists are smarter than christians

I can't wait until Hiro deletes Cred Forums.

You can't have a discussion on any board without Cred Forums bursting in and shouting about how much they hate black people.

seems like a lot of unnecessary time and effort to make some self-referential meta-commentary

I'm not even a Cred Forumsack btw, I don't think he promoted racemixing, I just think that dragging Cred Forums into this conversation is dumb as fuck and he didn't BTFO anyone, he stated an opinion that diversity is fine.

>I sincerely hate white people, the inevitable white genocide can't happen soon enough

How the fuck did he get away with this ?

>retards think I'm angry about diversity in star wars
>favorite TV series is Star Trek
>one of the first televised black/white kisses was filmed by star trek

TFA had
>cohesive narrative
>humor that was funnier than "funny rabbit man steps in poop"
>lightsaber battles that looked like fights instead of dancing
>effects you couldn't tell were 100% faked
Which the prequels had none of.

Agreed.

So white guilt and privilege isn't real?

The only reason I can enjoy the prequels is because of the time I've spent on Cred Forums posting high ground, he was a good friend, and sheev memes and while TFA was way too much of a call back, I at least wasn't bored watching it. I'll probably never watch it again though. Once was enough, and ANH is a better movie.

>shutting down the containment grid

Fuck, no. That will make it worse.

Just make them stay there.

Because they lack the light of Jesus Christ and the teachings of his holy Catholic church in their lives. It's not that being racist against other people isn't a bad thing- it is, but that they can't accept that part of themselves and have faith that they're loved regardless of their faults. Without that bit of faith in themselves and the world around them, any imperfection, no matter how small, will inevitably drive that person insane.

FUCKING THIS

>I can't wait to flick this dandelion head so all the dandelion seeds go away and I don't have to deal with them dropping off anymore

You both have believees informed by internet blogs and memes and social commentary that includes inflammatory language and flippant discourse. But your believees are truly special Cred Forumsfriend! You have the most specialist believees ever and you get a big ol' cookie for having them.

>It's not that being racist against other people isn't a bad thing- it is

why?

Maybe, but I get the sense that Mike blames himself in some part for the cancer it has become, and therefore wanted to take a moment to tear it down a little.

that's besides the point atheism is too popular on the internet

if you think deleting Cred Forums will improve Cred Forums i'd like you to delete yourself from your life

why did not Kylo rape Rey?

Well JJ makes good movies so that's ok.

>I only have snark

>Gown is see through in remastered
I'm okay with this change, thank you George

It is not for man to question the nature of sin, only to seek forgiveness

I used to support Cred Forums as a containment board when it started but now it's spreading it's shite all over every other board- it's much worse than it used to be now. If Cred Forums isn't deleted I would at least like to see obvious Cred Forums-posting be a bannable offense outside Cred Forums.

>the fact the Kylo is basically the most powerful force user ever seen on screen

No

You also defeat your own point

Prequels don't have ebonics so it automatically wins.

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>pepe and greentexting isn't snark

Finn/Rey didn't fugg because it's a film that must target all audiences, including children because it's fucking Disney.

There wasn't a romantic subplot because Finn is currently comatose and Rey is going to meet a love interest in the next film.

Cred Forums has always been racist you nigger cunt.

The amount of effort and anger you're putting into spamming cuck memes is both sad and depressing. Have you considered doing something worthwhile with your life, user?

At least the prequels tried to do something different and not rehash a New Hope.

so racism isn't bad?

>>cohesive narrative

That's easy when your story is just a bullet point summary of an earlier film.

I'd like to see constant bitching about Cred Forums being a big scary bogeyman become a bannable offense

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No, it is.

Why don't lightsabers make people fucking blind?

I can't believe she dated Jason for three months after this shoot

>after the fact

HOLY SHIT WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO UGLY LMAO

>that snarl

Darth Rey confirmed

TPM is as much a "rehash" of ANH as TFA allegedly is.

but why?

TFA had
>cohesive narrative
Cohesive in its childish simplicity and blandness alright
>humor that was funnier than "funny rabbit man steps in poop"
No? It was more mature but out of place
>lightsaber battles that looked like fights instead of dancing
Ok
>effects you couldn't tell were 100% faked
No, instead all the emotions were
>Which the prequels had none of.
Being better than the Star Wars prequels doesnt mean it's good

Sort of. There were always constant racist remarks and jokes but there was never this level of thread derailment. I'd say about 1/4 of threads on boards are now ruined by off-topic Cred Forums-posters.

It is not for man to question the nature of sin, only to seek forgiveness

y'all fags need to calm the fuck down

>tfw the level of butthurt Mike has generated is unprecedented
>tfw mission accomplished

>TFA was worse than the prequels
>lol no it's not
>well being better than the prequels doesn't make it good

>racism is an a priori sin, I don't know why though

okay

And cause nobody wants to see a nigger kiss a white woman, that's too forced even for Disney. They can parade around their token negro for the diversity points, but to actually do something that would be a risk is out of the question.

It is arguably more racist to walk around their little monkey on a leash for the press, than it would have been to just not cast any black leads. His casting is arbitrary, his blackness adds nothing to the story and is ultimately irrelevant, yet they act like its a great addition for human progress and equality.

I think that's what Mike was pointing out, it is hypocrisy on Disney's part.

How can I calm down when Mike "I need BBC day and night" Stoklasa said verbatim that

"White men need to die off so that superior Negro men might take their place" ?

>these are suppose to be children's movies
>why don't they have overt sexual overtones?

what did he mean by this?

>ywn be her sandal

what's the point of living anyways ?

Cred Forums has also NEVER been a safespace in any facet. It's always been about trolling, fakeposting, spamming of retarded memes all over every board. Cred Forums (and Cred Forums) are one of the FEW boards that still produce any memes.

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>White men need to die off so that superior Negro men might take their place

It's inevitable at this point

White women don't even want to have sex with white males at this point

They just lust for the superior BBC

White genocide

the butthurt is pretty mild, reserved for "fringy weirdos" as he calls them in the video itself.

would denying your sins bring you that much peace?

Cred Forums is a (you) generator

The sooner you faggots understand this the better.

People will do everything and anything to get (you)s

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one line of dialogue saying that starkiller was a captured/revived Imperial project would have shut up so many dumb assholes

My biggest complain is that the first hour of the review it didn't even fucking mention the new star wars.
Also how the hell did he not fucking address the mary sue Rey, and how overly perfect she was represented.
Like he only comes up with a theory about how she is the reincarnation of Darth Vader? Like that was his whole thing he mentioned.
If his theory is right then i can let it slide but otherwise he missed a big point that needed to be addressed.
Still worst Plinkett review tho. Hope he better fucking does a Batman v Superman one.

Even kids who don't know what sex is or think kissing is gross know it's normal for adults.

This is the only good scene in the entire movie

>Mike Stoklasa was originally a Ben-Garrisonesque figure who was always on the hunt for kikes and niggers.
>Now all he wants is a nice black cock.

What went wrong?

>Cohesive in its childish simplicity and blandness alright
Yes but it made sense! I wasn't left scratching my head at how stupid the characters plans were because I understood the motivations of every character.

>No? It was more mature but out of place
That's debatable, but I find levity to be perfectly acceptable.

>No, instead all the emotions were
That's what acting is when you're told to fake an accent.

>Being better than the Star Wars prequels doesnt mean it's good
That says more about the prequels than TFA.

Serialize all white males

Their time is over

pure kino

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You can see the exact moment when Domnhall Gleeson's character creams his space pants watching his superweapon fire.

I'm not making the case that it's a safespace. It's not even really about racism or sexism or anything like that, it's about Cred Forums cross-posters going around and derailing threads and shitposting offtopic in every fucking board. They're fucking insufferable.

>Beams must travel faster than light to make it to another solar system
>People on the planets can watch them slowly hit them

JJ YOU FUCKING HACK

>it's a sin.....because it is

okay

absolutely, but the fact that it wasn't there shows how forced its presence was

>probably asexual
>definitely asexual

I've rewatched it recently and while I found it ok in the theatre, it's fucking boring.
What I dont see mentionned a lot nowadays is how awful the direction is. It looks great, but nearly all the actors bar Kylo, Finn and Poe are phoning it in, theres TONS of awful "cut to reaction" shots or bizarre pacing of scenes.
And it has the worst ending I've seen in a while, Rey just lands on Planet British Isles with no attempt of making it look foreign, and the final sequence alterning "cut to reaction that drag on forever" and helicopter shot was dreadful.
I dont remember it being so jarring in the JJ Treks movies

Somebody tell JJ Abrams that you can't see other planets unless they are in your own fucking Solar System!
I want some factual science in my story about space wizards, light sabers and giant planet-killing machines!

Fucking this

what would you have to gain by saying it isn't?

It's a sin cause you shouldn't judge a people by their genetic makeup.

The Jews wanted special "Chosen" status cause they were "the seed of Abraham". But Jesus rejected this idea and said that those who accept him are the seed of Abraham, if I remember correctly.

i was hoping it'd be some kind of weird rakatan thing from the infinite empire like the star forge. iirc the planet luke was on is actually called Rakata Prime so I was hoping they'd tie the old republic shit in somehow

it'd be neat since you could have the thing actually "wake up" after the rebels start damaging it, maybe snoke was actually the dark side nexus powering the thing controlling the first order or whatever

they could have done a lot with something as huge and technologically impressive as Starkiller Base and they just dropped the ball completely

it's actually sad how much they fucked that part of the story up.

>Batman v Superman

but that movies good tho

>you can't see other planets unless they are in your own fucking Solar System!

...

If that were true then we wouldn't know about any planets outside of our solar system. A simple cursory google search reveals we know shitloads of planets outside our solar system.

Conclusion: you're fucking stupid.

What part of the review did Mike said that Rey should suck Finn BBC because Big Black Cocks are superior to Little White Cocks?

All I heard is that he thinks the movie did not have the same inherent sexuality that the originals, and even the prequels had. TFA was a manufactured corporate sterile enviroment.

To be fair that is really a big flaw. They could like spot the laser and actually get away. Would have been better if they actually let the lasers go though a portal or something.

So fucking glad we still have other jewtube ecelebs that are not full blown cucks. I fell asleep during this movie once, and even walked out once during an "important" scene to go piss. The TFA is not a bad movie, but sure as hell is over rated one.

Yea but idiots here can't understand its message

>B-b-but they stopped fighting because of their mothers names

No they didn't you fucking idiots and if you can't understand that then maybe this movie is a bit to high brow for you.

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Mike literally addresses your retarded ass opinion in this review. Prequel apologists saying "be glad they exist at all!" are wrong. Anakin's backstory was better left to the imagination or someone who isn't an incompetent borderline retard. Just because it exists when it possibly couldn't have does not make it good or acceptable. More does not totally and immediately equal better.

You're not reading the subtext... and you can hear his boner trying to spring from his pants.

>All white women should try the BCC and fill their womb with superior PoC seed

What did he mean by this ?

He didn't, it's just retards spamming memes

The planet at the end is called Ahch-To, not Rakata Prime.

Performance wise, I though Harrison Ford did a fine job given his age and lack of lust for life.
We're lucky Finn was well cast, given how many scenes he had to carry.

>and even the prequels had
prequels had no sexuality aside from Sheev being a stylish gay gentleman who liked to get freaky afterhours

I think he meant every white woman on earth should be impregnated by the BBC until the whole race is gone.

i've been tricked then, oh well

i still like my idea better than what we got which is nothing at all

>that neck

I wonder if Mike ever nagged Jesse for not boning blax

are you joking or did you really not hear mike say

"My future daughter is getting black bred and thats that. In fact jesse is going to diet on only the purest negro cum when she's preggo so that she can get accustom to BBC early"

>I wasn't left scratching my head at how stupid the characters plans were because I understood the motivations of every character.
Characters had consistent personnalities, but those personnalities didnt make sense to begin with. Finn and Rey have absolutely no reason to behave the way they do considering their background. It's a different problem, but one nonetheless.

>That's debatable, but I find levity to be perfectly acceptable.
If a character cant see the seriousness of the situation he's in, I cant either. Finn had no business being the way he was

>That's what acting is when you're told to fake an accent.
It has more to do with the writing than the actif

>It's a sin cause you shouldn't judge a people by their genetic makeup.

if their genetic makeup per-determined certain traits though, I don't see why you shouldn't. you don't have to hate them to realize that their are certain distinctions between groups and not want to live around them. you shouldn't judge individuals by traits, by you can group individuals together based on certain characteristics, nothing wrong with that,

recognizing genetic differences isn't a sin

What he meant was, unless Kirk and old Spock were marooned on Vulcan's fucking MOON, there is no way Spock could see it like he did, in such detail.

Look at our fucking moon. Does it look big to you? Can you even SEE Mars without a telescope?

In SW JJ's fuck up is not respecting the speed of light; there's no way that stupid death beam would reach another solar system in minutes and even if it did, it would be travelling faster than light. Which is impossible.

Also all the people on the Republic planet could see it coming so I guess it was slower than light... where the fuck was Starkiller? In low orbit?

JJ and the writers know fuck-all about astronomy, big surprise.

This. We got all we needed to know about Anakin in the original trilogy. We got a direct parallel of Anakin's story in Luke. We already had the story.

Who knows, there's not enough information.

i thought starkiller's thing was some hyperspace laser beam or whatever

of course they never mention that, but i think some book mentions it trying to cover the movie's ass after the fact

We won't be seeing any overt references to videogame shit, even though they clearly ripped off Ren's look from Revan. Disney doesn't like the EU. They're kind of obligated to keep the prequels around but acknowledge them as little as possible.

>Anakin's backstory was better left to the imagination

Nice opinion you have there. The prequels built on something from the originals, they weren't just tacked on by some Jewish executives because faggots like you wanted more.

Before the prequels arrived (yes oldfag here, yes virgin, yes I have linux installed), I was always under the impression that Anakin's origin was less traumatic and more a Good Kid Gone Bad For Noble Reasons But That Didn't Save Him In The End, type of thing. To see Anakin's entire reason for becoming Darth Vader being just "he was super mad and signed up to feature on ExploitedJedi.com" really took some of the ideological punch of the Dark Side / Light Side duality away.

Ford looks like he has no idea how to behave and quite frankly looked ridiculous running around guns blazing at 70+ years old. He should have take a back seat like Leia did

Well, Rakata Prime is still on canon galaxy map, so maybe they are planning to do something with it.

The sad part of your crusade is, if you actually frequented Cred Forums, you'd see it's nothing at all like this. This cuckshitposting is pretty much Cred Forums exclusive now, and if you see it somewhere else, it's bleedover from here.

TRASH COMPACTOR

Its stylistically designed to be that way

Yeah, recognizing genetic differences isn't a sin in my opinion, and of course it makes sense not to relax around a certain group of people, but not because they've got a certain genetic makeup, but rather because they display certain negative traits which could endanger you or your family. So I'd agree with you.

>I don't have to deal with my sins because they don't exist!

Oh dear

I pray you see the light some day user

They mention that it fires through hyperspace.

I'm 100% certain there is no internal logic; the answer is billionaire Hollywood assholes like JJ can't spend 10 minutes looking into astronomy.

Anybody find it underwhelming that Mike's intriguing mysteries for the future of the series amount to:
>is snoke plagueis?
and
>will rey turn to the dark side?
lol

Mike did a great job

My wife's son and I really loved this movie

Sorry I got to go now I have to prep Jamal for my wife if you know what I mean haha ;)

That's a dumb fucking answer. I'd like to see them explain the shot of Kylo watching the laser move across space at obviously-not-hyperspace-speed.

I agree with mike. I love black cock sooooo much too.

Hyperspace or not you wont be able to see it from cantina planet.
This scene is in because test audiences reacted well to the same exact scene in Trek

>No Cred Forums shitposting allowed

It's not shitposting if it's true. Mr. Plunkett named the jews. He's gonna be suicided soon.

Lets here it for the hug yea!!!!!!!!

>let's build up this super self important woman charcter for the kids to see her as a role model!
>then let's literally throw her in the trash lmao

what's wrong with her face

To be fair, who Snoke is and where he came from is the biggest mystery in the story now. I doubt VIII and IX will provide interesting answers that don't feel contrived, though.

The only other thing I'm interested in is how Kylo Ren develops.

this

>but not because they've got a certain genetic makeup

but thats a better determinant of crime than socio-economic status.

I just wish I was less naive about it before, it literally would've saved me having a gun pointed at my face and being robbed. Won't make that mistake again though

>it's a sin because it is

and we are back where we started

Mike "Black cocks in white women is what i like" Stoklasa

Eh, maybe it "jumps" into hyperspace right after that somehow.

I also want to know what drove han, leia & luke apart

The prequels had no sexuality either, except for Anakin being a creepy weirdo.

It's not just a Disney thing. Americans generally are too prudish to actually include sexual innuendo in their family movies.

>Does it look big to you?

Relatively, no. But size doesn't have much to do with visibility, unless you're going down to the molecular level. What we want is light.

>Can you even SEE Mars without a telescope?

Yes. Yes you can.

Ever see a star that looks like it's moving? That's probably a planet.

The conditions for seeing mars are no different from seeing most stars. It's gotta be in your field of vision and it's gotta be a clear night with little light interference.

>JJ's fuck up is not respecting the speed of light; there's no way that stupid death beam would reach another solar system in minutes and even if it did, it would be travelling faster than light. Which is impossible.

Actually, it's more believable that the beam would move faster than light because I don't think it has mass, and only things that have mass are incapable of moving at light speed.

All of that's moot however, because in Star Wars it's quite easy to move faster than light.

>super important woman character role model
>is simultaneously a sociopath, retarded, and a traitor.

I really didn't get this at all. The worst part is that there were quite a few parts where she could have showed up as a secondary antagonist and fit right into the scene.

Maybe Gwendoline was too busy with GoT shoots or something and couldn't be available enough.

I always thought of it as a tragedy when I was a kid too. Him saving Luke in RotJ proved that he's a pretty sweet guy deep down, and we're left to assume that's how noble he was before turning to the dark side. That implies he didn't become evil willingly.

RotS is such an embarrassing mistake, it causes me physical discomfort to see people defend it or say it's the "good" prequel. Every plot point they tried to tie up was wrong and stupid. The majority were also contradictory.

where we started was the idea that trying to deny your sins as a means of absolving yourself of guilt is a surefire road to insanity

Smug.

you can also hear explosions in space. this isn't a documentary

best joke by far

it's not a sin though, it's just recognizing that certain groups broadly carry certain traits, and you should be mindful of that

My Mars question was hyperbole, obviously. Yes, you can see Mars and Venus and probably Mercury and other planets. "See" as in "look at the pinprick of light, that is a planet". Here is the shot from the movie, I promise you Mars does not look like this from Earth.

Also, photons actually do have mass, the difference is they're already moving at the speed of light.

>explosions in space

Actually, watch this.

youtube.com/watch?v=PYMbCZAf6Ow

what would I have to eat to get the squirts as powerful and have a similiar volume to Plinket?

>jj's fan service

The official explanation from Lucasfilm Story Group is that Starkiller firing created hyperspace anomaly, that's why people on Takodana were able to see the destruction. I kinda like the idea (the weapon of such power that it creates ripples through hyperspace), but it looked really dumb it the movie without that explanation.

Forgot pic.

In a way it ties into Mike's other comment about the sexless behavior the characters exhibit. It's another symptom of phony, boardroom driven diversity.
>"what if there was a silver stormtrooper"
>"I love it, let's make her a woman"
>"okay sure, now what does she do in the plot?"
>"who cares? let's get the action figures figured out first"

I'm more interested just to see what the plots are going to be. They blew up the superweapon already, so I'm interested to see where they take the series.

What do you call this hairstyle?

Oh dear

It's called the "united kingdom."

Not saying the prequals are any good faggots.
2 and 3 have nothing to offer
1 at least has ThePpodrace which is done well and the Darth Maul Fight at the end.
Why?! I can remember the podrace/darth maul fight, the pasing is done right and it's a good visual story with good editing

What does the TFA have? BB8, what;s good about him, well he makes you happy like a cute kitten.

But he has no story, nothing memerable, and if BB8 was a usb-stick TFA would not have 1 redeming quality.

HARDMODE: name 1 thing just 1 thing that you remember about TFA as good in any way, there is nothing

TFA:
Dialog: shit
Fightscenes: shit
Every fucking subject that relates to movies: shit

even the lightsaber is trash, darth mauls weapon at least made sense, and the electric pikes in 3 were cool weapons

what did TFA get you? fucking kylo saber which is retarded, and the whirling charge up gun from the stormtrooper.. GTFO

The rest is total shit, telling yourself that TFA is on a different level then the prequels, when you know they're all total shit.

Look man Luke's lightsaber hilt is I think part of a fucking movie camera assembly. But there was books showing a cross-section explaining the composition.

You have to realize, all this pseudo-science shit is written by someone after the fact, to fill in the gaps of the story and to provide (inane) detail to the universe. It's shit and no one at Lucasfilm could tell you the physical properties of a "hyperspace anomaly".

A biggerer more powerfulful super weapon. The Galaxy Fucker Base.

Rey playing a substitute for the audience wandering among the monolithic wreckage of the Star Wars universe and still managing to find a bit of wonder and joy in the world.

It was not only an establishing shot for her character, but also the director of the movie speaking to the audience saying that the healing could begin

The reality is that TFA is just too boring and safe to produce hilarious memes like the prequels

Well, we know they filmed that "black tie in space" stuff, my guess is the movies turn inward while based Rian Johnson does some world-building and explains the collosal fuck of a situation JJ left him with. My guess is a lot more character stuff and less pew pew explosions everywhere.

You must be retarded if you think the dialogue is worse than in the prequels. Go watch them again and listen to the shit that constantly comes out of Hayden's and Portman's mouths.

And the lightsaber fight in TFA was actually pretty good. It looked like a real fight and not like a dumb dancing contest, you stupid fucking piece of shit.

>itt: people who came to Cred Forums in 2014 and never read global rule 3

So if I hear an explosion in space in a movie, I should imagine that the sound recordist is in a pressurized spaceship recording the sound? ok.

We had TR-8R, before they co-opted him.

Look man I'm just providing an explanation. It's still looks stupid in the movie.

that's because humor and laughter are the human mind's way of dealing with tragedy and confusion

TFA wasn't as disappointing, rage inducing, and confusing as the prequels, so making fun of them isn't as funny.

>TFA wasn't as disappointing

No, it was more.

Pizza rolls, nothing but pizza rolls.

Not really.

I'm confused why he just didn't critique or really analyze it at all. It's like he uses the soft reboot thing as an excuse to not judge TFA as it's own movie.

It's just as disappointing and confusing, and more rage-inducing. It's simply the lack of originality and creativity that makes it lose staying power. The reason people prefer the prequels is because at least the prequels attempted to do something different, for better or worse. TFA is identical to dozens of movies, most of them better.

Poe's and Finn's escape from that star destroyer was better than anything in the prequels.

It's because this video isn't really a review of TFA. It's about a much broader range of topics.

user I was a teenager when Phantom Menace hit theaters. It's hard to put into words just how horrible I felt when "my" Star Wars turned out to be garbage

>people prefer the prequels
Nobody does.

damn mike looks just like my dad

Because it's literally A New Hope, there's not really much you can say about it.

This is simultaneously good and shitty. Bravo JJ.

>Finn guns down dozens of defenceless human beings during his escape which is due to the Firrst Order being murderous
>witty banter 'you need a pilot ;)'
>the fact that the capture is unnecessary to the plot in the first place and just wastes screen time

this was a fucking waste of time. rlm is losing it.

It literally isn't.

Why can't we just admit the prequels fucking sucked, and this fucking movie sucked too, for different less-fun reasons.

People who were children when they came out probably do, nostalgia is one hell of a drug.

I hope so. The sequel trilogy really needs to slow the fuck down and collect itself. It needs its Empire Strikes Back more than the original trilogy did, thanks to TFA barely acknowledging the time gap and the status changes.

it's not. it's mostly just more lucas bashing.

Wow look at how fucking fast that beam of not-light is going. Must be pushing 100km/hr!

As if the storybook version of farming a star's energy wasn't bad enough, they even made the weapon stupid and impotent looking.

I watched them back to back yesterday after the review. TPM is a better, more imaginative movie.

>defenceless human beings
Stormtroopers were shooting at them

He didn't mention it because the entire sequel trilogy isn't done yet. Not that Disney has a good excuse for her being so powerful, but it's too early to judge without knowing her stupid backstory.

Ironically, this also applies to the plinkett TFA review.

there is actually more to criticise with the force awakens because it is such a product of it's time.

it's not so star wars as it is disney in a chewbacca onesie taking a selfie and posting it to instagram.

>witty banter 'you need a pilot ;)'

Yes, autist, that's what people liked about the OT.

Because that's the reasonable viewpoint and we don't have time for that here.

this review is premature. they should've waited until the whole trilogy was done.

They were in a fucking spaceship. It's about as effective as shouting insults, for which Finn determined his old comrades deserved to die.

...

>it's not so star wars as it is buzzword in a chewbacca buzzword buzzwording and buzzwording to buzzword.

In the OT it was heartfelt. 'Don't get cocky kid.' In TFA it was on the nose slapstick pandering.

>No they didn't

>Batman about to stab a spear through his heart and kill him
>MARTHA! IT'S HIS MOTHER'S NAME!
>Batman stops and throws the spear away and helps him up

fucking han solo mowing down snowtroopers with the falcon's guns. so unnecessary

It's more about Batman realizing Superman, who isn't human, has a human life. He is a man as much as Bruce, the only difference is he wasn't born on this planet. The Martha moment is a catalyst.

Snyder took a gamble, unfortunately too many millennials thought he was being literal.

Premature, what else would you expect from a white "man?"

i knew the prequel trolls and the bvs trolls were the same people

>It's more about Batman realizing Superman, who isn't human, has a human life. He is a man as much as Bruce, the only difference is he wasn't born on this planet.

Good goy, let more of those muslim citizens of the world into your country, they're just like you!

>I always thought of it as a tragedy when I was a kid too. Him saving Luke in RotJ proved that he's a pretty sweet guy deep down, and we're left to assume that's how noble he was before turning to the dark side

Same here, I figured that he probably had some negative quirks like being arrogant and wanting to rush things because he was an awesome Jedi and didn't want to meditate/find inner peace like Yoda so he moved to the dark side as things would get done. His change to the dark side would've been more gradual as he doesn't view himself as evil, just playing for the winning side.

ROTS made Anakin a complete whiny asswipe and when I was watching him burn for the first time I didn't think "Oh no, Anakin!" I was thinking "Yeah, fuck that asshole" then Obiwan should've just walked over and slowly kick him down into the lava until the screaming stopped and claim that he tripped over and died.

Does being one of the tiny minority of people who liked BvS make me a troll?

I knew you were going there, 0/10.

>make me a troll?
yeah, pretty much.

kek

>the fact that the capture is unnecessary to the plot in the first place and just wastes screen time

wow you're fucking stupid

As the Plinkett reviews of the prequels mentioned, the movies provide lots of anecdotal accounts of all these adventures Obi-Wan and Anakin went on, and how it formed their friendship. The mistake is never showing us those, and instead just letting us see Anakin at his fucking whiniest. The last two films in the prequels never give us any reason to like Anakin.

NEW THREAD

There's nothing wrong with Batman realizing that or even that being the moment that stops their fight, but having it done in such a clumsy way turned it into a joke. What would Bruce have done if Lois Lane didn't happen to teleport into the scene to feed him exposition?

It's made even dumber by the fact that Supes is calling his mother by her actual name instead of "mom" or "my mom", which he does not do at any other point in either of his movies. All so a dumb, shaky connection can be made for the WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE to figure out that Clark has a fucking family.

hey reddit, stop making new threads at the bump limit. These can go on for another 100+ posts before they're archived

There's no reason Poetry couldn't have escaped the opening fight scenes and immediately run to Rey, who would have been on the same planet, thus eliminating the need for Boyega entirely.

Yeah I agree it makes no sense if you think, Batman is a great detective, he probably knows Superman's identity and his human life down to brass tacks.

But in the movie they never give an indication as far as I can see of Batman known Superman's alter-ego before the fight. The only one who does unambiguously identify him as Clark Kent is Lex.

honestly, this

> TPM is a better, more imaginative movie.
How do you even function with this shit taste?

Didn't say it wasn't shit, they're both total shit.
The prequals aren't worse, when they're both worthless.

At least the dialogue in the prequels makes the characters real in that universe, yes they're dumb when they bitch about a disturbance in the force or prophecy, and the love dialogue is robotic and retarded. (YES I don't deny the DIALOGUE IS ALSO TERRIBLE)

Now check out TFA you'll realise it;s also total shit.
The dialogue in TFA makes it that everybody has read the script knows everything is gonna be ok(bad guys lose, we win).

Everybody is fucking witty for no reason
In the OT being witty or sarcastic(/whatever), was a way to counter another characters ego, or relieve tension from a dire situation.

The orange bitch does a you are the chosen one rant after knowing someone for 1 hour and speaking to her for 1 minute.

Finn, my god, why does a fucking starwars character act like a fucking teenager on earth, and not a realistic one, more like how a kid or teenager acts in a romcom/sitcom.

>At least the dialogue in the prequels makes the characters real in that universe
completely meaningless

Literally the script is different, the visuals are different, the editing etc. are all different

I posted this in the other thread as well but what do you lot think of Rian Johnson directing episode 8? Think he'll do a better job than JJ?