Mr. Plinkett's The Star Wars Awakens Review Discussion Thread #4

Why are people sucking this guy off?

The prequels are great and TFA is one of the worst movies ever made.

Obvious bait.

They're both shit broseph. I guess the prequels at least had some good memes.

youtube.com/watch?v=0Oeaixkj0ec

It was all for the memes

I enjoyed it.

I definitely feel like Mike hitting his own personal points on the diversity shit felt a little forced, though. It's like he's aware of the Nazi meme and is trying as hard as possible to make himself seem like the opposite, or something.

ayy, it doesn't deserve it, it's just so indistinct and forgettable, and its coming had none of air or impact of the prequels

same applies to this review, to be fair

You know what's a great movie? The Matrix Revolutions.

More like 3 years 10 months and 50 minutes

Most of the review was dedicated to analysis of "ring" theory and all the contrarian retards praising the prequels, which was ok, but they should have just made a video about that and dropped TFA entirely, as most of the shit on TFA they already said in the Half in the Bag review.

I was finishing up a phonecall with my friend who hasn't seen any of the reviews last night as i queued up the video on my biggest tv with surround sound and scooched the rocking chair up to the screen as i nursed my coffee mug full of pure Skyy vodka with a splash of Arizona tea. I was ranting about how i was disappointed i'd never forced him to watch all the prequel reviews seeing as they're among my top favorite internet videos, which i've watched at least 4 or 5 times each. I was stoked to finally hear Plinkett humorously pick apart TFA with pedantic bitching and moaning about every little detail that wasn't carefully contrived to fellate his childhood. By 40 minutes in i had realized that he'd just used this opportunity as a scapegoat to perpetually rail on the prequels against obscure, contrived internet theories by people who had considered that they may not literally be the worst thing ever made. Then he sucked TFA's dick, acknowledged the pedantry of all of his complaints about the film and complained about the lack of love interest even though finn clearly has a crush on Rey which she was unable to reciprocate because she is a weirdo who has never had feelings for anyone because she never grew up around other humans.

Fucking joke of a review, just 2 hrs of beating his own dead horse by retreading the prequels

Star Wars is dead. Let's just let it rip.

Reloaded is better in every way though.

Revolutions feels kind of meh, and the Zion fight is a bit absurd.

The Matrix Revolutions, Batman v Superman and star wars prequels are all great. All other movies are quipshit disneyfied cuck corporate shit flicks.

So many manbabbies mad because Stocklas didn't want to spend 2 hours nitpicking a movie he didn't hate.

It's more fun to watch him tear apart ring theory honestly. I find ring theory super-triggering.

>a black guy who didnt wabt to shoot his gun? Now this really is science fiction.

Based as fuck

BvS Review WHEN ?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

You know what's a great movie? Radioland Murders.

>It's more fun to watch him tear apart ring theory honestly. I find ring theory super-triggering.
Pretty much this, ring theory truly is the epitome of prequel fanboy stupidity. It was worth the 20 minutes pointing out how fucking stupid it is.

astronomically speaking it would have made more sense and been much more terrifying if Starkiller based worked more like the Halo's Ark Installation where the beam would be fired into an orbital megastructure/portal that sent the laser beam at light speed to its target anywhere in the galaxy.

rather than having to travel around like the Death Star or just happen to be nearby its target, Starkiller base could be built on the outskirts of galaxy where few could get to it or even knew it existed then lob death beams to any target through light speed with no time to react and no counterattack.

>light speed
>no time to counterattack

So what do we think of Rian Johnson directing episode 8? Do you think he'll do a better or worse job than JJ?

>a black guy that doesn't CREAMPIE A WHITE LADY? now thats a movie I won't watch

Howard the Duck is so underrated. Say what you will about the endless ultralight plane sequence, the world feels more authentic than anything in that POS TFA.

I'm not sure, how was the last episode of Breaking Bad?

Top 5 reasons Duckworld is more interesting than Jakku

He's criticizing the movie for forcing "diversity" in the effort to be "progressive" but doesn't actually do anything really "progressive" or "diverse" to what was obviously hinted to be romantic tension in the movie.

The movie is trying to be diverse enough to make the shitty SJW praise it while not making it diverse enough to alienate conservatives. The "diversity" was a cleverly put together marketing ploy, just like the whole movie. It is entirely soulless.

The last one he did, Ozymandias, was pretty good

He also did Looper, which I haven't seen but I heard was good.

Star Wars "lightspeed" isnt instantaneous, but you will have no idea the beam is coming until it dropped out of lightspeed at Mach 1000 and slammed into your home planet.

remember all the suspense of the Battle of Yavin IV as the Death Star slowly came around Yavin to fire? thats not going to happen when the Starkiller can just been lobbing death rays from the far side of the galaxy.

I think he'll do better. I just want something that isn't a copy of a previous movie.

I enjoyed it quite a lot actually, though it did a lot of handwaving about the implications of time travel. I think at one point a character said something to the effect of "we can sit here and discuss time travel or get on with the plot". And yeah that worked because it was kind of funny and it kept the film going at a decent pace, but I hope he just doesn't do the same with interesting plot points set up in TFA. So I guess I'm optimistic

So Jay Jay just wants star wars to be all asian? Is that for the chinese market?

>yfw nobody knew about the ring theory until he used it as a strawman

After the video I looked it up, and it holds water.
Thanks for publicizing it, Mike.

I feel the same way. I'm fine with it having a similar darker tone to it, like Empire, but something original is what I really want at this point

I think you guys are taking the cucked thing a little too far. He just wanted to see some human romance and say that people shouldn't care if the two are different races. If you're gonna force diversity, go all the way and don't sacrifice what could have been a more humanizing element for both characters.

But this is Cred Forums why am I even trying to be level headed

All those words, when you could have simply typed KEKED

So in addition to a trite romantic subplot who wanted a forced message about tolerance?

No wonder he's stuck in Wisconsin with those other fucks.

>10 minutes in and still no TFA review

Meh

>JJ and George being passive aggressive.

Wait till you get 45 minutes in and there's STILL no TFA review

>h-haha I'll make an extremely mild racist joke and maybe they won't notice I'm a pro genocide cuck

what did he mean by this?

It's pretty obvious he made the TFA review, realized it wasn't that classic old Plinkett destruction and then decided to demolish ring theory as an opener.

>a white woman kissing a black man on the lips is genocide
Cred Forums, are you feeling okay?

Its to bad after that he ruined it with saying he wanted see rey blacked or latino man blacked.

I hope to God that Finn doesn't end up with Rey.

He is trying way too hard to be funny in this one.

Terrible movie, good to see these faggots expose themselves as hacks.

Confirmed JJ fans, confirmed no integrity

>demolish ring theory

This.
Anyone who says prequels aint comfiest are faggots who never got laid while it rained outside and the phantom menace played.
>TRECKIE HACKS FUCK OFF

Chinamen!

I know how George feels one time I passed a car and aggressively drove it off the road.

Please explain the intent of your post. I am autistic.

If you meant to insult me I will have you know that I graduated top of my class.

You know what movie I find comfy & great? Town & Country with Warren Beatty & Garry Shandling

I hope to christ Episode 8 doesn't end up sucking. It's the only thing that could probably redeem this new age of Star Wars media.

I hope it sucks so those of us who think the prequels had some interesting ideas will be able to shit on the sequels even more than we already do.

Thought I guess VIII definitely has at least one special idea.

>a fucking tree

>had some interesting ideas
"Notice how none of these things have anything to do with how great the stories were, how emotionally involved in the films you were, or how they inspired you."

>TFA was an adequate movie
>The Prequels were outright bad movies
>TFA's biggest problem was playing it too safe, like all the Disney/Marvel shit

Sounds alright to me. Only thing I didn't get was Mike getting all autistic over Rey and Finn not kissing.

The ideas were terrible, and so were the prequels.

The biggest sin they made was trying to fucking connect everything. Why is Vader directly fucking responsible for everything when he was just some goon in a black suit.

That and Mike calling out all the contrarian prequel apologists

God I wish he cared enough to do a full Plinkett review of Batman v Superman.

>its a Cred Forums critiques a review that has more time and effort put into it than anything they've ever created thread.

For the most part the films weren't emotionally involving, but I think there were some good stories in there, and as a teenager (ie, the target audience) I was fairly inspired. I loved when Qui Gon died and Obi Wan got fucking mad and cut that red nigger in half. I thought the romantic kiss on the chariot leading into the arena was beautiful. I thought Obi Wan's denial about Anakin's betrayal was heartbreaking. Sure, none of these were perfectly executed, but where was even the slightest bit of emotion in TFA? And all the while, the prequels were doing this in a unique and creative wider universe full of life and history, while in TFA we literally don't know why the Resistance still exists when there's a Republic.

Vader, Obi Wan, and the Emperor were the obvious characters to lead the prequels because they were the characters in the OT who were alive at the time.

>playing it too safe, like all the Disney/Marvel shit
What exactly are people hoping for with adaptations of Marvel Comics besides light humor, action and spectacle?

Except that Obi Wan does fuck all.

Everything that happens is related to Vader, he sets everything in motion. He even built C3P0 for some absurd reason.

He built a protocol droid as a slave at the age fo 8.

With what we got as a final product, I would have preferred if they went with one of the earlier drafts of the film and had something resemble their concept art more.

Like the Kylo Ren concept art in pic related

a movie that doesn't end with a blue laser beam shooting into the sky?

That said, Marvel seems to be working to combat this. I like Antman and Civil War a hell of a lot better than Avengers 2

>Notice how none of these things have anything to do with how great the stories were, how emotionally involved in the films you were, or how they inspired you

this quote is from Plinkett's TFA review and it's directly from the section critiquing people cherry picking moments from the prequels to "prove" that they're worthwhile, which is exactly how you responded to it.

Civil War was awful

Or the double bladed Blue Red lightsaber

Im sorry you didn't enjoy it

it's clean for me as a non-united statian. Race mixing is non an issue litteraly everywhere else. You see people from different races in the street and on tv and no one gives a flying fuck. But in american media it never happens. And if it does happen it's always shown as it being the main serious ISSUE. And for all the forced diversity of disney, the race mixing is a line they are not willing to cross, which is a nice way to spot the hypocrisy of their porported progresiveness

>R2-D2 puts his thing into things

what?

youtube.com/watch?v=MxCRgtdAuBo

>Watch the review
>George Lucas' rant about how studios taking control lead to bland flicks and that no one trusts directors anymore

I... I miss you George... I'm sorry

>We never got to see the Millennium Falcon exploring the underwater ruins of the second Death star as originally intended.

This ring theory thing is really boring. What's the point of criticizing this?

literal filler

Rey (Or Kira) could have looked like this.

>and that no one trusts directors anymore
George, there's a reason that nobody trusts you

>when he jack dick at 47:00

i was kekking and it was funny not retarded hilarous

I liked how he shit on all the people retroactively trying to redeem the prequels

I also liked how he did it for half the review

>a movie that doesn't end with a blue laser beam shooting into the sky?
this happened in Avengers and thor 2, i think? so like 2/13 movies?

>or something.
Fully agree with you on that one

>tfw when listening to that george interview about risk

Why the fuck does he hit me on this level?

>remember all the suspense of the Battle of Yavin IV as the Death Star slowly came around Yavin to fire?

Yes I remember the perfect script TFA was trying to imitate

Fine, world-ending events then

>Notice how none of these things have anything to do with how great the stories were, how emotionally involved in the films you were, or how they inspired you
But they absolutely do.
The expansive universe that the prequels fleshed out inspired my imagination MUCH more the the small scale OT.

Plinkett drones are so one-note.

it's not going to suck, it'll just be on the level of TFA. good enough, pleases everyone, makes a ton of money. kinda like your standard Marvel flick.

Yeah he did sort of just aimlessly ramble about it for awhile, didn't he?

that sounds pretty cool. what would have been the point?

Hopefully for a spin-off movie they'll take the diversity a step further and have an alien main character. Maybe a female Twi-Lek or something.

Literally everything that the prequels expanded on made the franchise worse.

They are EU tier.

All he did was explain what the ring theory was, then mock it, assuming that his audience already hates the prequels.
He didn't explain why it doesn't work.

>CIRCLES WITHIN CIRCLES

nah

You just hate them because being part of a group is comforting.

>He didn't explain why it doesn't work.
didnt he rip on it by saying the "ring within a ring" thing was just a way to ignore the parallels that make the ring theory not work?

I've always hated them.
Being a contrarian child on Cred Forums isn't going to make the prequels good.

yes, the avengers should spend more time foiling bank robberies

K I N O

There are more thasn one Avengers movie??? Wtf I thought there's one

Yes, and agsin, that holds no water because the ring theory site clearly AND IN DETAIL explains it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Plinkett's whole thing is taking something that makes sense, and pretending it doesn't until you agree with him.

What an original and evocative image, truly cinematic genius

Not that this was the first time industrial cityscapes were portrayed in a creative way either, but if that's your first defense for Lucas's creativity you've got nothing

>contrarian
no john you are the contrarian

>pretending it doesn't until you agree with him
how does this work exactly

it looks like 61 people agree with him though

>but if that's your first defense for Lucas's creativity you've got nothing
I merely chose a relevant image to accompany my post.
The fact that you attack the image instead of the content of my post says that you have no argument.

Star Wars is pretty lacking in the kind of high concept stuff that requires something like that

...

did you post this?
Because a good old bank robbery foiling would be a ton of fun.
Have we even had one since Spider-Man 2?

con·trar·i·an
kənˈtre(ə)rēən,kän-/Submit
noun
1.
a person who opposes or rejects popular opinion, especially in stock exchange dealing.

If you don't like ROTS, you are, by definition, a contrarian.

The prequels were hated by every person old enough to pay for their own ticket in 1999.

Anakin was ruthlessly mocked to the point of him quitting acting.
The critics at the time also trashed them.

One on the left is awesome but would have been too much like Vader

I liked the bits in the review that didn't involve in praising The Force Awakens.

They should have waited some 6 years to let out the pent-up criticism about it, because with how things are it seems that Mike put shit in to please people
>guise, diversity is good! shut up! kids don't care!
>Rey was likeable, she worked!
>the lightsaber battles had emotional themes going, it's true!
>it was a good film I swear.

>The critics at the time also trashed them.
rogerebert.com/reviews/star-wars-episode-i-the-phantom-menace-1999

Dayum dass moar then people agree wit me on anythang

Left is way too close to Vader. Right looks retarded

>ebert

>rogerebert
you know he grades movies based on how they appeal to their target audience, right?

"""Circles within circles""" is just a flimsy excuse to ignore any parallels that don't fit their retarded theory.

Lucas just likes to reuse concepts and images. There is no discernible pattern to it unless you specifically ignore a good chunk of the parallels. Exactly like these dumbs cunts do with their "circles within circles" horseshit.

Sorry that you children's movies are as deep and intellectual as you wish they were

He did you retard. He explained that ring theory assumes that the movies meet in the middle. Instead you could connected episode 1 to 6 5 to 3 etc. George Lucas just recycled everything because he is lazy.

The ring theory stuff was really bad.

First, why should I care enough about some dumb fan theory to watch it get criticized for 20 minutes? Second, it was just really unfunny, he was pretty much just listing things

Mike is a pleb, like straight up plebian

TFA was a corporate made bore flick with few redeeming qualities. I would unironically prefer to watch the prequels to that generic flick

thanks for playing

The content being how that very adequate but unremarkable and not at all original image "inspired your imagination". I can't see your point. Can you give another example

I'll agree that one of the prequels only redeeming qualities is the variety of new alien planets, species and cultures it shows. However none of that really replaces quality storytelling. It's stuff that really got me excited when I was 9 but has no effect on me today.

Because it reflects today's societies, people don't want to take risks, yet they make themselves targets, and in the end they just blame their imaginary enemies.

>They are EU tier.

Nah man, totally different flavor of hot garbage

EU is about absurd recycling of existing material, lack of originality, like TFA. And is not really an expanded, more like a stretched universe.

The prequels were original and very different from the OT.

To sum it all up, no EU writer would ever put something like dexter jetster in star wars. And george lucas would never make something that resembles star wars.

>George Lucas just recycled everything because he is lazy.
nope

TPM poetry
>Anakin accidentally blows up a droid control ship with a circular center, but distinctly different design from the Death Star

TFA poetry
>rag tag resistance group with a few X-Wings go for a trench run on a spherical shaped super weapon that shoots out a laser from a big hole in the side

You picked a pleb critic and assumed that every one loved them.

The Phantom Menace is garbage, all of them are.

Best concept art of Kylo I could find, looks pretty close to Revan.

>The Phantom Menace is garbage
see
>all of them are.
see

I wish it was more explicit in the video but I get the feeling that even Mike is appreciating the Prequels for taking risks than TFA being a soulless carbon copy of fucking nothing

EU consistently put retarded shit like Dexter in the books, and much worse, but it was glorified fanfiction.
Lucas is the goddamn creator and he managed to make something that fanfiction writers could have come up with.

Honestly user, its ok if you enjoyed the prequels

I understand that my movie watching experience doesn't apply to everybody. You should ignore people who are trying to invalidate your opinion.

>RT scores mean something

The movies are shit.

No, his spooky face would overshadow all the characterization he has. Ren has a blank "faceless" mask because he's just a dumb kid with no identity being led along by someone else's ideology

>its ok if you enjoyed the prequels
It's more than that though.
It's the fact that they are good movies, and that a large chunk of critics and audiences agree.

Nothing will ever make them good.
No retarded 20 page theory with ever make those pieces of trash redeemable.

Reminder that Mr. Plinkett says "my nigs" in the First Contact review.

Why does it matter if people agree with you?

Do you think TFA was a better movie than all of the Prequels?
rottentomatoes.com/m/star_wars_episode_vii_the_force_awakens/

I actually really felt for George during that clip where he's talking about how making a movie is giving a kid $100 Million, then pointing at a casino and telling him to come back with $500 Million
It makes me wish the original Plinkett reviews didn't turn the persona of George Lucas into a meme, although that Red Tails shit never stops being funny

So this is the power of autism.

>even Mike is appreciating the Prequels for taking risks
Lucas is just as cynical and market-driven as the movie studios are, he's just grown completely out of touch over the years. (cue clip of him talking about 'i made the first all-black movie" wit Red Tails)

Everything RLM said about George was based on things he publicly said, did, or created. He's sad because he's truthfully a pitiable person, not because they picked up on the stupid shit he did.

Its autistic to defend the prequels.
This is shit that star wars facebook pages do.

The prequels are regarded as shit by anyone that isn't a stupid EU nerd.

If he only talked about TFA, the video would have been 40 minutes long, and roughly half of that would have been him talking about why Finn should have fucked Rey/Poe
He needed to fill for time since there have been people hounding him for a new Plinkett review for years, so he went back for a second pass at the prequels

>EU is about absurd recycling of existing material, lack of originality

No the EU has plenty of shit that differs from the OT but is still you know, shit.

Case in point: Yuuzhan Vong

Clearly enough critics and audiences liked them. They were acclaimed and profitable.

nope
I'm 35, never read an EU book or comic in my life, and I think the prequels are good movies.
I think ROTS is second only to Empire.

Can't pigeonhole everyone with opinions you don't like into the same hole, kid.

Half the video was boring as shit.

1+ hour off naming off similarities between the prequels and the OT? Who the fuck thought that was entertaining?

Why the fuck does he have so many sabers? Gives me a Grievous vibe.

They were profitable, never acclaimed.

Robert Ebert is a fat hack, and you like shit movies.
It's fine.

TFA is the worst movie I have ever been forced to watch

>Yuuzhan Vong
Were great.

CERTAINLY better as antagonists than the fucking first order.

I thought of the butthole eyes before said it.

>I think ROTS is second only to Empire.
It's treason then.

The Yuuzhan Vong were retarded.

>never acclaimed.
see
I enjoy watching you squirm.

The NJO was

Shit.

The NJO was a mixed bag, but the best books were really great.
But who am I kidding, you just read the wiki articles than bash things on the internet out of boredom.

>The prequels were hated by every person old enough to pay for their own ticket in 1999
>Anakin was ruthlessly mocked to the point of him quitting acting
Maybe at your breakfast table, spastic.

>still using RT

Wew. So I guess TFA was better then.

He was gonna be called Jedi Killer or some shit, those were gonna be the sabers of Luke's apprentices I believe

Yup. And we agree that ROTS is good.
Glad that's settled.

He really should have attacked the politics more

In the OT it was simple, Empire = bad guys, Rebels = good guys

In TFA, who the fuck were the Resistance? Why are they not just the Republic Fleet? Why doesn't the Republic just declare war on the First Order, given they weren't aware of the existence of Starkiller Base? Why are the First Order strong enough to have functional TIE fighters, Stardestroyers and an army of stormtroopers? Why don't worlds under their control just rebel and join the Republic/Resistance/whatever

It's so pointlessly confusing, even the prequels' politics weren't this convoluted

I read plenty of SW books growing up.

The boy hates STar Wars, he was the one that said that he was relentlessly bullied for being Anakin. People accused him of ruining Star Wars.

I wonder what George's idea was for Episode VII - IX.

I have a hard time believing that. I mean, it's pretty bad... but, come on there's so much worse shit out there.

I'm tired of mike saying anyone who doesn't have sex is inhuman, a "robot" or an "alien". I haven't had sex with anyone, mike, and guess what I'm human. And there are tons of human people who don't have sex either. That doesn't make us, cold, unfeeling, aliens or robots. Get over it mike, not everything has to have sex shoved in there, and there's nothing wrong or inhuman about it.

Yeah, I wish the FO were more a marauding gang of dark edgy people cutting shit up and killing people, going from planet to planet looking for jedi relics to increase their power

No.

How many upvotes did this get in the comments section?

So you don't trust RT and you think TFA Is bad?

If it were a Sith cult that worshipped the Emperor/Vader, that would make more sense

Plus Snoke really does just come out of nowhere. It would've been good to explain him a bit more, but I guess they'll do that in the next one or not

...

Have you had the oppurtunity to have sex? Or has your celibacy not been by choice?

But you WANT to have sex don't you?

TFA is safe and bland, but it's better than the prequels.

I don't hate it like I hate the prequels and what it did to the lore.

...

>If it were a Sith cult that worshipped the Emperor/Vader, that would make more sense
Do we know that the Knights of Ren aren't that?

>I haven't had sex with anyone, mike, and guess what I'm human.

Implying

RT doesn't rate movies good or bad, it rates them inoffensive or offensive. It's a consumer guide to avoid regretting a ticket price, that's it.

Do you think they'll ever end up doing a best of the worst episode with max landis and the newest neil breen 'film'?

Anyone else here actually like the diversity?

Hell it wasn't even one sided where rebels have all the races and aliens while Empire are all white British males.

It was cool to see female imperials manning the communication towers and hell Phasma could have been good if she wasn't put out like a bitch.

If it were just the Knights of Ren, rather than a huge military organisation that clearly taxes a number of systems to pay for its military infrastructure and construct a gigantic laser on a planet that uses Sun energy, then yeah it would be alright

But if the New Republic were competent and uncorrupt unlike the Old Republic, what systems and peoples would willingly contribute to an organisation that wants to bring back the Empire? Wouldn't the Republic reveal that the Emperor was an evil monster mash tyrant that could shoot lightning? Who would want to restore that, other than people who would pledge allegiance to an evil monster mash tyrant that could shoot lightning?

t. Mike "BBC in my Jessi" Stoklasa

>Maz Kanata or as she's known on the street: Butthole eyes

I kek'd

We know the First Order as a whole jerks off Palpatine.

Phasma armor was apparently made from the scraps of Palpatines personal luxury ship.

I'm surprised they didnt spend a single second to cover the MarRey Sue issue.

Was this addressed in Half in the Bag?

Haven't really had any opportunities, but I haven't really sought any out either.

Eventually, probably. I'd like to start a family eventually, so yeah. But it's not really a big deal if it doesn't happen, it's just sex. I don't really want it more than any other thing in my life, like getting a car, or getting an ice cream or something. I can just jack off or whatever, same orgasm, big deal.

>Deeathstar destroys the new republic
>We know absolutely nothing about it

Shouldnt that have been an Episode VIII scene?
Carrie Fisher's planet gets blowed up but we know it's important to her.
But who cares about New Coruscant?

I don't. Do you?

Spent way too much time on the ring theory thing without actually explaining what it is and why it fails.

a lot of these TFA "plot holes" seem to me to be "deliberately leaving room in the story for further development" Since disney's plans are to make these movies forever, it would be stupid for them to tie up all of these threads in their first movie.

>Phasma armor was apparently made from the scraps of Palpatines personal luxury ship.

Man I hate the EU

I feel sad m8s, when I saw Gwen as Phasma without her helmet both with the head cover and with her hair out my heart ached that we didn't see that in the movie.

She looked beautiful and deadly, Mike made a good point that they should have forced her to remove her helmet when Han Solo catches her and then have her sound the alarm and escape.

He's cynical and out-of-touch yes, but he still made something he wanted to do, and what he wanted to do was make movies to sell toys, it wasn't a business decision, it was his decision, and it's completely okay for director's to think like this, making something marketable does not decrease artistic value, making something based on focus groups, group panderings and for the sole sake of profit however, often results in TFA

No, because that stupidity doesn't warrant addressing

Don't understand why you guys like these dudes, they have terrible tastes like disliking MoS and Boyhood and unironically loving Birdman.

>Mike wanted Rey blacked
reddit letter cucks will defend this

They made fun of Max Landis going around calling her a Mary Sue, but for Mike, all he had to say was that ''we liked Rey and rooted for her''

It's 2016, there's literally nothing wrong with an interracial relationship.

>he wanted to do was make movies to sell toys
>it wasn't a business decision
you're totally incoherant

I'm with Mike, watching man of steel in the theater caused me physical pain

Source?

blacked is the thinking mans choice of porn kino

Plebs do not need to apply.

They also hate Michael Bay, revealing their terrible as fuck taste and lack of knowledge in the realm of kino.

>incoherant
>ant

ironic_sheev_meme.jpg.exe

pleb

It wasn't people sitting in chairs going ''we need you to put this in the movie so we can sell toys'', no one told him to put in shit, it was his decision, ''I'm gonna put this in here because who cares, it serves some purpose and will sell toys.''

Because their tastes generally align with mine and compared to most other independent critics they don't hamfist in far left or too far right political views while still being mildly witty and entertaining.

Man of Steel is meh

I probaly would've hated the film if I had watched it on the theather instead of in the comfort of my home, in the computer chair, jerking it to Henry Cavill

This.

Hence why you could buy a toy of fucking Chancellor Vallorum from Phantom Menace.

>disliking MoS
this. I love:
- MoS
- BvS
- The Star Wars Prequels
- The Matrix Revolutions
- Radioland Murders
- Howard the Duck
- Town & Country
- Roland Emmerich's 2012

...mostly for the world building and some really great ideas.

>Anyone else here actually like the diversity?

It doesn't help or hurt the movie directly

But it does take me out of the movie. Your audience can't enter a world when you are constantly ejecting them reminders that identity politics exist and it's one of the many agendas steering the production.

>Hell it wasn't even one sided where rebels have all the races and aliens while Empire are all white British males.
>It was cool to see female imperials manning the communication towers and hell Phasma could have been good if she wasn't put out like a bitch.

This annoyed me.

The rebellion is supposed to be diverse because they are a coalition of worlds, as shown in ROTJ. Same with scum, pirates, or riff raff in a cantina.

But the empire was strictly human and patriarchal. It made them feel rigid with old world tradition and more menacing. Now 30 years later the empire is progressive and allows females to serve. What? Star wars is supposed to feel timeless (even though it can't be), not reflect our current politics or attitudes.

Also it removes the mystique of captain phasma. At first you wonder how serious phasma must be because she is a high ranking female, then you find out that women commonly serve in the first order.

You could say that the first order uses females because they are the underdog in this movie and no longer at the scale of the empire, but we don't even know that. They didn't explain shit.

>- MoS
7/10
>- BvS
8/10
>- The Star Wars Prequels
7.5/10 collectively
>- The Matrix Revolutions
6.5/10
>- Radioland Murders
4/10
>- Howard the Duck
3/10
>- Town & Country
5/10
>- Roland Emmerich's 2012
5/10

Great stuff man! I'm glad you're another patrician fighting the plebs!

To plebs, sex is the ultimate experience.

>No, because that stupidity doesn't warrant addressing

But the prequels suddenly being esteemed and ring theory proving lucas's genius needed to be addressed?

Anyone who believes that shit is a lost cause. Meanwhile Rey really is a lousy character in a lousy story.

one guy sitting in a chair making cynical, market-based decisions is better than "people sitting in chairs" doing exactly the same thing for exactly the same reasons because...?

They're much better at it that he is.

You'd probably like the Netflix shows more than the movies.

Cred Forums is literally worse than Cred Forums.

plinketts psuedo plot he makes up using most of the same characters makes so much more sense

I enjoyed it. Especially the parts about retarded millennials liking the prequels. Based Third Reich Mike.

Because it was just a bunch of vague suggestions and callbacks.

>Your audience can't enter a world when you are constantly ejecting them reminders that identity politics exist and it's one of the many agendas steering the production.

I doubt that your experience is typical of the average moviegoer though; I'm almost certain that normal people don't think of identity politics when they watch films.

Here are my completely honest mostly prequel related opinions because the Star Wars Awaken has triggered me into doing so.

The Phantom Menace in some ways is bad, in some ways is good, and in some ways is okay. The real problem is it's the one that's hardest to divorce from the expectations. Considering what I had expected to be yeah it's disappointing but, disappointing doesn't necessarily mean bad. I mean obviously it doesn't mean especially great either but, I guess it's alright. I just wish I could have opinion of it that wasn't clouded by all the things I had wanted it to be.

Attack of the Clones is bad and undoubtedly the prequels low point but, I don't think it's as bad as a lot of people make it out to be. I feel you'd have a much more tolerable film if you rewrote and/or cut out most of the 'romance' scenes. The biggest problem besides the romance was the lack of any scenes that I would call great (TPM had the pod race which while not great is pretty fucking cool and better than anything in AOTC and the Darth Maul battle is definitely a great scene).

I liked Revenge of the Sith from the moment I saw it with my friend's sister in the theater. Then I finally got around to watching The Clone Wars series (yes, both of them) and now I honestly love ROTS. I also recently rewatched Plinkett's prequels reviews and while I still find them amusing and pretty fun I'd be lying if the ROTS one rubs me the wrong way in places. I can't help but feel that while Mike's genuine for the most part about his TPM and AOTC opinions he's hamming it up when it comes to the ROTS and he's probably more positive on it than he'll ever let fans know. And if he does genuinely hold contempt for ROTS that's disappointing but, oh well.

This, it's really only incredibly insecure white male virgins who ever "notice" so-called "forced diversity" and flip out over it. Even if they weren't flipping out over it, the fact that they get so emotionally involved and self-insert into films to the point they imagine the female lead is their girlfriend is plebeian as fuck. There's no reason these people should be allowed to waste normal peoples' time with their non-pinions.

Literally every Mike opinion:
>muh plot
>muh screenplays
>muh woodie allen
A true pleb, Jay at least has a few moments where he shows that he's not a complete pleb such as when he talks about OGF

Anyway, on an embarrassingly personal note. I recently watched Return of the Jedi for the first time since going through the prequels and The Clone Wars series and something happened while watching Luke's and Anakin's scene that had never happened before the many other times I've watched it I actually teared up. When Luke says, "I've got to save you." and as soon as Anakin replied, "You already have, Luke." the tears began to flow an embarrassing amount. Sorry no manly tears in this case.

And I know that scene wouldn't have had the impact on me that it did if it weren't for me watching the prequel movies and The Clone Wars series. Honestly, ROTJ is probably the movie of the original trilogy that is most enhanced by the prequels, in my opinion.

The prequels are deeply flawed in places but, to say that they RUINED Star Wars? Fuck off.

I know Mike was joking when he labeled Hem Dazon as gay (one of the first characters in his montage) but, um... he's right.

Hem Dazon and Doikk Na'ts were seen hooking up in a gay bar during the Clone Wars theatrical film.

That scene heavily impacted a lot of people before the prequels ever existed, you just have very stunted emotional growth and didn't "get there" until every aspect of his being kind-of a good guy was spelled out for you across three additional movies.

>millennials
Reminder that if you were born in 1980 or later, you are a millenial.

because it's his little crap he's taking, not multiple people taking a dump on his work.

>OGF
lel

Wrong. Millennial is anyone born after 1999.

>I can't help but feel that while Mike's genuine for the most part about his TPM and AOTC opinions he's hamming it up when it comes to the ROTS and he's probably more positive on it than he'll ever let fans know
My thoughts exactly.

I also think he likes Star Trek Nemesis, even though he tries to bash it in the plinkett review.

>enhanced by the prequels
Yep. The child murder in Episode III really helped the Anakin/Luke scene out a lot.

Reminder that if you like the prequels, you are retarded.

>Honestly, ROTJ is probably the movie of the original trilogy that is most enhanced by the prequels

Are you me?

good for them, they also don't notice that everything about this movie is designed to print money, with no dollar spared to produce something that resembles art

And that's not unreasonable either. Hollywood can mass produce *art* just as easily as they can make schlock.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_bait

star wars cleaned out the oscars, and empire got a lot of nominations, and not just shit like special effects or music that's given. Meanwhile TFA made no attempt at cultural significance, just maximum profits.

Not saying that oscar bait is great or authentic, I'm just saying its at least trying.

>I can only meme

I truly feel sadness at how hollow you are inside.

no, that is the generation following the millennials. millennial=started to come of age @ the millennium

>looks pretty close to Revan
Overused meme. The only similarities are the partially red outfit and the visor.

who's meming who at this point?

because you can't cope with a world where your youtube internet friend have different opinions about movies than you?

I TRIED SO HARD

No, that's not why.
Can you read?

AND GOT SO FAR

>The fanbase I've lost
>the franchise I've lost
>they're all still hurting
>it's like they're still there
>You feel it too, don't you?

>I can just jack off or whatever, same orgasm, big deal.
Not really user. But you will discover it someday.

Funny thing to address, why the fuck do they bothered with making the human cast multicolored bullshit but when it comes to advertising the movie in toys, posters and commercials, you only show Poe Dameron, the guy who was in the film for 10 minutes?

>Mike's version of TFA

Why does he do this every time? His versions just seem so much superior but they'll never hit the light of day.

Because he was based.

Posting best couple

>based

Has any character in a movie ever had less character development than Poe Dameron?

Pretty disappointing. Barely talks about TFA. Doesn't even call out Rey as a Mary Sue.

Rey

Bubba Fet

I'm 45mins in...it's just boring and self-aggrandizing so far. Sad. He's lost his impetus.

>his vision

It's barely a vision. It's just a few loose suggestions.

autism.txt

>playing into the Jews hands

¿Por que?

>without explaining what it is
He did.
>and why it fails
You missed that whole long segment where he points out that the movies are all interchangeable in the ring theory's format so while the comparisons that are pointed out are valid, they're not necessarily because of a complex use of story structure but because Lucas is lazy and likes to reuse concepts.

it's all shit in the end

This would be nice and is kind of hinted at if you think of the Rey kiss as the Luke kiss then you can see a swap happening.

All of them, really.

People forget that there are good movies out there and comparing say, Peter O' Toole as T.E. Lawrence to any character in TFA is like comparing a finely crafted piece of artwork to a half-finished crayon refrigerator drawing.

Yeah, it really was a shit movie, I don't understand how everyone liked it so much.

The only times I wasn't bored I was just baffled, what the fuck was the resistance? Why weren't they with the Republic? What is the First Order? Why is R2-D2 in a coma and "he may never wake up"? How did that get past the first fucking draft? When is Finn going to be a character instead of just a vehicle for shitty dialogue?

>vision
>version
illiteracy is real

Dindu NuFinn

What a waste of time.
Plinkett is finished.
Mike managed to become a bigger clown than George Lucas.

Nigga did you glaze over him talking about Starkiller being a Republic weapon? That whole section does a much better version of explaining shit.

you're just outside of the norm, user. That's all

You shouldn't get mad if people don't pander to you. You're like an angry trannie.

The way I see it, sex serves 3 functions.

1. reproduction
2. pair bonding
3. pleasure

Of these, the only thing you can really get from a one night stand is sexual pleasure. You probably don't want to pair bond with some random girl, and you definitely don't want to get her pregnant.

For the pleasure use case, jacking off serves this need just find.

For pair bonding, this is something you'd want to do with someone you're in a relationship with. But then, how many people do you want to have a relationship with, anyway? The main goal here is the establishment of the relationship, not the sex. The sex is just a tool to promote bonding and intimacy within the relationship. So just seeking sex isn't going to create a relationship. You create a relationship, and then focus on having sex within the relationship.

For reproduction, well I'm not really ready to raise a child at this point. But if/when I am, then the point is again having a child, not having sex.

So there's not really any reason to seek out sex for it's own sake. Sexual pleasure can be provided by masturbation. Relationships and reproduction have other factors involved than just having sex. And you don't really need that many women to set up relationships or reproduction. Ideally probably only want one mother to produce children with, and for relationships, probably a dozen tops on the high end, most likely less than a half dozen in the average case (I'm not counting any one-night stands or similar short term relationships here, only long standing relationships where pair bonding would be important).

Jacking off is no where near as good as having a girl tongue your gooch before you cum in her mouth famillios

areyouawizard.jpg

You are over-thinking this shit user. Sex feels good. But I remember engaging in this sort of intellectual masturbation when I was an incel.

>Dude what if the GOOD GUYS built a death star

In a society that believes in something called ''Sex life'' and ''casual sex'' I'm not impressed in the slightest that sex eventually just becomes a tool for those people to figurately fuck over each other because of favors and promises, GG did start with some chick fucking 5 guys so they give good scores for her game

Promiscuity is bad, news at 11

>a Republic weapon
how would this have gotten past the planning stage before Leia would have second thoughts due to her homeworld and family being wiped out by the death star.

While I don't disagree with you at all (to me, the only interesting part of TFA was the beginning before any actual dialog), I was talking about the new Plinkett.

It's so boring. He's lost his edge. He sounds like he's being paid to do it, not that he actually wanted to do it.

You make good points, but you can't forget that sex is a skill.

if you don't practice, you're going to end up embarrassing yourself when it comes time to pair-bond

I got my tubes tied and still want to fuck. Not looking for a relationship. Fucking is pretty rad.

You need to try fucking, for reals nigga.

A lot of pointless things feel good, desu

I'm not asking people to pander to me, but really it's a bit much to say anyone not sex obsessed is a robot, alien, cold and inhuman.

And really, mike was complaining that the movie didn't have enough sex in it. So he's the one complaining that the movie didn't pander to him, not me.

TITS OR GTFO!

;P

>Can't reproduce
>promiscuous

You are useless to society.

Did she actually fuck those guys? I need a citation.

this also post feet

Nigger, we're already on an exponential growth curve. Anyone who decides not to procreate should get tax breaks or something for actually helping society.

>ut really it's a bit much to say anyone not sex obsessed is a robot, alien, cold and inhuman.

And to prove him wrong you explained your cold and logical approach to sex?

Yes because a man's worth is measured in his seed

captcha quit fucking giving me street sign captchas from Japan, that shit is obnoxious.

The map to the first Jedi Temple was in some harddrive in Palpatine's throne room. You see in this version, Luke was an active participant in the story so there was no big hunt for him.

What if she's not white?

I'd love it if Starkiller Base was some ancient alien tech that was abandoned and the First Order was just able to figure out how to make it work after finding its location in some old Imperial Archives.

By tubes I mean my Vas Deferens, you fags. What did you think I meant?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy

wtf? Now Mike is tying in Bush into SW? Come on, barely anyone protested the patriot act the time.

Great, now he's masturbating with a pizza. This fucker is past his time.

>For the pleasure use case, jacking off serves this need just find.
I take it you've never actually had sex?

It might feel a little better, but really an orgasm is an orgasm. After you've cum, you're not really interested in sex until you get horny again. So regardless of the method, you still end up in the same place - placated, and sexual desire curbed.

I guess I'm more of a volcel than an incel. I disagree 100% with the whole incel mindset though. They are just obsessed with sex, as if not having sex is the worst thing in the world, and nothing else matters, and their life is terrible because they're not having sex. I mean, just get over it, it's not that big a deal.

Maybe so, but each person is different. People don't like the same thing, and it would take time to retrain your skill to match a new partner's desires. Anyway if the relationship is strong it can weather some bad sex in the beginning until you learn each other's bodies.

Certainly better than the movie, but still a goofy fucking "grandma is a robot" idea.

>first world people need to go genetically extinct because of third worlders having 20 kids

Nah, help the earth by killing yourself hedonist.

>wtf? Now Mike is tying in Bush into SW? Come on, barely anyone protested the patriot act the time.
gosh, what could have happened in 2001 that affected our judgment

They claimed they had never heard the term before which sounds like bullshit to me since their entire job is bitching about movies on the internet.

there's nothing to say it isn't. that's a good thread for a future story actually.

>barely anyone protested the patriot act the time.
Dude, what?

>Come on, barely anyone protested the patriot act the time.

>So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause

you are too dumb to understand lucas tier writing

I don't really see what's so cold about wanting to have sex to rear a child or establish a strong intimate romantic relationship.

>Now Mike is tying in Bush into SW
that was completely obvious at the time. The you're either with me..." line was the biggest audience laugh when i saw episode III (you shouldn't be laughing at that part, lucas) bigger than noooooooo

I haven't. But when you're horny, you want to have an orgasm. Jacking off feels good. I'm sure sex feels good. But once you have the orgasm, you've satisfied your sexual desire. So either way, if you have sex or masturbate, you'll feel good and relieve your sexual desire. Seems pretty functionally equivalent to me.

Having your tubes tied, is usually used about
females blocking their fallopiantubes.

>Yes because a man's worth is measured in his seed
Real life ''correct statement is STUPID amirite?'' comedy cliché right here

mary sue is mostly a literary thing (sci fi), not really a movie thing

He has a point. Patriot Act was passed with near-unanimous, bi-partisan support.

it's not surprising, the government seizes any opportunity to grow in size and scope.

I call it bullshit because the term literally comes from Star Trek fanfiction, it's impossible that Mike wouldn't know about it.

>near-unanimous
bless you Russ Feingold (D-WI)

>He has a point. Patriot Act was passed with near-unanimous, bi-partisan support.
What planet are you on? Congress does not represent the American people. That's supposedly their function, yes, but anyone can do two minutes of research to find out that it's not how it works in reality.

So? My point stands. From the wiki:
>From broad concern felt among Americans from both the September 11 attacks and the 2001 anthrax attacks, Congress rushed to pass legislation to strengthen security controls. On October 23, 2001, Republican Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner introduced H.R. 3162 incorporating provisions from a previously sponsored House bill and a Senate bill also introduced earlier in the month.[7] The next day, the Act passed the House 357 to 66,[8] with Democrats comprising the overwhelming portion of dissent. The three Republicans voting 'no' were Robert Ney of Ohio, Butch Otter of Idaho and Ron Paul of Texas. On October 25, the Act passed the Senate by 98 to 1.[9]

Do you think the galactic senate represented the entire galaxy?

>Star Trek fanfiction
uh, this is mostly a girl nerd thing

No, it doesn't.

There were people complaining about the Patriot Act the moment it passed, just because Congress passed it doesn't mean everyone in America wanted it.

I am happy to see that I was not the only one triggered by that part.

If anything I was happy that they didn't force romance like almost every other movie. Two attractive characters of the opposite sex meet? They must fall in love on first sight! A male and female protagonist go through an adventure together? They must be lovers by the end of the movie!

You can like someone of the opposite sex without wanting to have sex with them you know? It's really annoying how sex-obsessed our society is. Barely anyone seems to be able to comprehend that for some people it's not the point of life. You don't care about sex? You must just be bitter you can't get any! There is no other possible way!

But you are bitter, you just announced how triggered you were.

Mike's point wasn't that Rey and Finn needed to bang and have a romance arc

It's that the movie, on a whole, is for some reason completely lacking that very natural, virtually ever present aspect of human nature. It makes the characters feel stilted and their relationships not really gel, even with characters who are meant to develop some closeness.

There's a middle ground between "I don't need to have sex" and "sex-craved maniac I need to have it all the time"

...and that they tried to score points with a blatantly diverse cast but still weren't willing to take the financial risk of having Finn develop a romantic pairing with Rey (or Poe).

My argument was not that everyone wanted it, genius. My argument was it passed with bipartisan support. However you cut it, a Congressional vote of 357 to 66 is pretty fucking unanimous. Try to argue that Senate vote wasn't.

No one outside of government and total fucking morons "wanted" the Patriot Act. And when Bush was in office there was vocal outrage about it.

Then Obozo got elected and the Dems stopped giving a shit.

It came from Star Trek fanfiction, especifically one from 1973 that was meant to mock the character archetype commonly found in Star Trek fanfiction that girls wrote

How anyone can listen Rey's shitty fucking British accent and Boyega's ape sounds and not find grating is beyond me, it's the reason I refuse to watch this in english.

>no one protested the patriot act at the time
>what planet are you on
>congress passed it
>So? That doesn't mean no one protested it
>congress passed it
>that doesn't change the fact people protested it
>my argument is congress passed it
Are you just drunk, or what?

Just because Mike watches Star Trek doesn't mean he'd be familiar with the terminology of the sub-fandom of fanfic and slashfic.

Not everyone jumps into each others pants the week they meet, you degenerates. Is it really so unbelievable that three random random people could come together and do shit without any of them clicking?

>Shitty Star Wars review
>Still hasn't finished his Star Trek movie reviews.

The Star Trek Movie reviews are better than his prequel reviews anyway.

You can tell Mike gives more of a fuck about Star Trek as well and just in general, Star Trek is far more interesting than Star Wars.

Well, if you're gonna just act like a fucking moron with no idea how the government operates, I'm not going to engage you.

With all the Star Trek junk he has as well as well over 10 years of shitposting on the internet I'm still not convinced.

THE GOVERNMENT ISN'T IN CHARGE OF PROTESTING THE GOVERNMENT

WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SAYING

PEOPLE

PROTESTED

THE

PATRIOT

ACT

YOU

THICK

FUCK

This is autism

No, but this is: The scene this argument stems from is the GALACTIC SENATE applauding the equivalent of a Patriot Act. Which is exactly what happened.

I'm not making any arguments about the voting public. I'm talking about the people in the government; the Congress and Senate. Why is this so hard to grasp?

>being that into star trek
Is Mike a pedo

Except you're literally autistic, your response makes no sense to what was stated. You're fucking retarded.

>hating on hackers

dropped so fucking hard

He's not the same person. Also you're the autist for thinking every major element of humanity needs to be present in every movie, you tard.

Am I in bizzaro world

or are you just the stupidest fuck ever to post

>Also you're the autist for thinking every major element of humanity needs to be present in every movie, you tard.
No, again, that would be you since I never said anything like that at any point in time.

>hurr durr no one protested the patriot act
>yes they did
>NO. FUCK. NO. CONGRESS PASSED IT
Yes, this makes complete logical sense. Oh wait, no, you're just a dumb fuck.

Well, you trolled me good. Well meme'd, friend.

What did they mean by this?

>youtube comments

...

I'm glad he addressed the marvelization of Star Wars which is, in my opinion, the worst thing to come out of TFA. The movie itself is fine but what it stands ifor (a stepping stone to propel a never ending cinematic universe) is what is really concerning

Imagine being these people and thinking that way, unironically.

That's gun-in-mouth material.

It's a good thing they didn't do that. I mean if he was shown as being capable of fucking up all those apprentices then how in the hell would Rey be able to deal with him?

Yes

Mike always bitches about cinematic universes, but that doesn't stop him from giving the films glowing reviews, honestly I just don't give a shit, he said in the review himself that films are just assembly line productions, as well as products of their time, and our time so far is a decade of diversity, calling things you don't like ''hate speech'' and bitching about white males

>the marvelization of Star Wars
Oh does it too look worse than most major TV shows? I didn't actually watch this schlock, since all the Star Wars movies are shit and of course this one would be too.