"I know every woman has sexual needs. I respect that, mademoiselle. But my priority is the safety of all women...

>"I know every woman has sexual needs. I respect that, mademoiselle. But my priority is the safety of all women. Don't call me a feminist; I'm more than that: I'm a gentleman. To leave a woman alone with two men she just met? No way! I'll be standing next to you while Leo and Brad make sweet love to you, while they facefuck, strangle, spit, urinate on you. I'm not gonna judge you. I'm aware of the complexity of woman's sexuality and I support your freedom to express it. When you start to cry because Brad's dick is too big for your tight asshole, I'll wipe your tears. My motto? "No woman deserves to cry". I'll be your guardian angel, sweet pie. Next morning, when Brad and Leo will be already in Los Angeles, I'll make you a nutritive breakfast. Every woman deserves a nutritive breakfast. When you wake up, maybe you'll be feeling like shit, like a dirty whore because you let two men use you like a sextoy and they left without even know your name. Sometimes men are so insensitive, I'm sorry for that. But I'll be right next you, making sure you'll not be feeling like a dirty 5 bucks Las Vegas whore. Women are such amazing beings, aren't they? Also, your joke was amazing. There are guys (or should I say pigs?) who think women are not capable of comedy, but as a great comedic and dramatic actor (ask Brad), I can guarantee you're amazing, AMAZING. After the Ramadan, call me. I would love watch you husband, that handsome North African stallion, make love to you, sweetheart. Gosh, women are such outstanding beings!"

Yea that would've been a really good comeback

>"Wow, you really do love cock, huh?"
Short and sweet does it

Bravo

Jonah is back baby

>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."

And that's how it's really done.

Only good reply ive read, and ive read them all

Don't trust this guy, he can't even use apostrophes, and he's a phoneposting retard.

Nailed it. Fighting rudeness with class is the sign of a true gentleman.

All this posting about big guys has actually memed fat rdditors into believing they are welcome.
Fuck off you disgusting excuse for humanoids.

you guys are the best

hi, reddit

nope I never go there. wrong buddy boy

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

Good fucking job.

Fucking kek

Is this the best new Cred Forums meme in years?

...This would actually work.

If he actually said all that straight to her face, unflinching, by the end she would have gotten up and left the room in tears, and no one would be able to touch Jonah because he didn't actually say anything wrong.

Literally the perfect response.

>mademoiselle
I lost it there.

is the point of this to make it as long and drawn out as possible?

It's just le random, like Jonah's character in Superbad would talk.

The point is to make Jonah seem butthurt as all hell and to pretend that would be a good comeback.

>"Less than a hundred years ago your 'mighty' country fell to the German war machine. Now we can say this is acceptable as they were a great foe but I disagree. The French resistance? Pah! I spit on the French resistance. Rats scurrying about in the darkness desperate for a return to their cheese and wine, that's what the french resistance was. Now shall we talk about the pure hypocrisy of the French? Oh I think we shall. The French Revolution, yes... yes... I'm sure you're all ready to clap for the murderous rampage that transpired in your country but let me continue above your weak and feeble attempts at joy and celebration. The hyprocisy of the French to overthrow their ruling class, their feudal lords, their kings and queens and to replace them with what? Yes that's right, an emperor! An emperor, ladies and gentleman! Hahahaha! But of course being the French you were unable to even continue with that, oh dear oh dear oh dear. I can only laugh at this time when I think of the shit, yes the shit, of what this country is. Now recognize that I do not say become, I do not make allusions to the grandeur of the past of France no because I believe France was and always will be a failed attempt at a state. I could go on but the look on your frail face is enough, my work is done and you will rue the day you attempted to trifle with an American, a member of the last Great Superpower. Farewell!"

the jerk store called

they want their "I know every woman has sexual needs. I respect that, mademoiselle. But my priority is the safety of all women. Don't call me a feminist; I'm more than that: I'm a gentleman. To leave a woman alone with two men she just met? No way! I'll be standing next to you while Leo and Brad make sweet love to you, while they facefuck, strangle, spit, urinate on you. I'm not gonna judge you. I'm aware of the complexity of woman's sexuality and I support your freedom to express it. When you start to cry because Brad's dick is too big for your tight asshole, I'll wipe your tears. My motto? "No woman deserves to cry". I'll be your guardian angel, sweet pie. Next morning, when Brad and Leo will be already in Los Angeles, I'll make you a nutritive breakfast. Every woman deserves a nutritive breakfast. When you wake up, maybe you'll be feeling like shit, like a dirty whore because you let two men use you like a sextoy and they left without even know your name. Sometimes men are so insensitive, I'm sorry for that. But I'll be right next you, making sure you'll not be feeling like a dirty 5 bucks Las Vegas whore. Women are such amazing beings, aren't they? Also, your joke was amazing. There are guys (or should I say pigs?) who think women are not capable of comedy, but as a great comedic and dramatic actor (ask Brad), I can guarantee you're amazing, AMAZING. After the Ramadan, call me. I would love watch you husband, that handsome North African stallion, make love to you, sweetheart. Gosh, women are such outstanding beings!" back

>yeah I guess I would go furiously masturbate in the next room while peeping through a hole, I really get off on seeing really handsome guys doing ug- ehem, rather unattractive women, and you are just the type I enjoy the most
It's quite depraved, kind of like bestiality, really
I am a rather sick man

/thread

Best reply yet

This is actually a beastly response.

Might ruin his career though.

>might
You think? I dunno. He could say cultural differences.