Go to sleep

>cum to some thicc dark elves at 10pm
>oh yea gonna close my eyes for a bit
>wake up at 3am

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What

>go to sleep
>fall in a sleep paralysis instead
>start breathing manually

tell me about your paralysis dreams user,

i woke up one time and i had a cat or something crawling on top of my blanket, then it started to dig into the sheet, then i saw two large rats clawing and biting through the sheets trying to get at my neck, while this pale man was watching me as a struggled in paralysis.

i straight up pissed the bed it was that scary.

I fell asleep in my basement on the couch and watched as the clown from poltergeist walked slowly down the steps towards me as carnival music played. Pretty fuckin spooky my man

>go to sleep with tiring thoughts, thinking everything will be better in the morning
>its worse

>didn't make the necessary calls today
>whatever I'll do it tomorrow
>wake up
>whatever I'll do it tomorrow

Good news, Cred Forums is currently dying.

Get comfy

I don't get any hallucinations. I just go in panic mode when i realize i can't move anything and have trouble breathing through the nose because it's usually half blocked.

>dream about being nude in public
>dream about being in ocean and can't swim
>dream about flying through a forest while huge clown faces flash every few seconds
>dream about getting into an argument with Brock Lesnar on the radio
>dream about being at a hospital that is in another dimension that is actually a rest stop along the way to either heaven or hell
make em stop

>getting cucked in your own dream

surely this is not just me right, getting cucked in dreams is normal surely

I've been trying to go to the doctor all week user

>go to sleep at 11pm with anxious thoughts about the future
>fall asleep at 3am

You guys aren't even trying to stay on topic anymore, huh.

>dream about peeing on the toilet
>wake with pee all over the bed
FUCK

>try to write a cover letter for a job
>spiral into a deep depression that will encourage me to never even think about my future ever again

>dreaming about cumming in girl's butthole
>wake up with boxers smeared in cum

Cred Forums won't exist in 10 years and the internet as a whole will probably only exist as pay2access every single website

So unless you plan to die within the next 10 years, don't worry

>fall asleep
>wake up in the middle of the night with that feel when no gf

>Cred Forums won't exist in 10 years

Try 1 lmao

>wake up in the morning
>tfw remember I had gf but not anymore

I saw an old lady next to me, like a mix between the scary old woman from 'the others' and the skinnyness of the grudge girl

>tfw so miserable
>every day gets worse and worse
>NEET bux just ran out
>selling all my shit and following a suicide guide from a website

>be cop
>get shot to pieces by red foreman and the Cred Forums bunch
>stupid faggot businessmen won't let me die
REEEEEEEEEE

>following a suicide guide from a website
how is it going?

>dreamed of having a gf 2 nights in a row

>megadeth starts playing

Just bought all the shit.

Going to drug myself to sleep and gas myself.
And instead of being a selfish cunt, I put myself up as a donor.

not him but i'm really scared of fucking it up and ending up in some home for mongs

Dumb fucking retard. I wish I was neet again. Let me guess you are even lucky enough to live with just your mother?

I wish I was in your position.

t. Former neet now working 9-5

I really wish I could get put down. I'm happy for people who want to live to use what's left.

Projecting much? Holy shit! LMAO

anyone else get excited when you feel yourself starting to be tired because you know you get to sleep soon

Don't do it user.

do you mean just your mother as in you get a place to stay or that its only your mother and not your entire family

Damn, I thought you're joiking...
May be you should visit a therapist or something?
Why are you even doing this?

>finally lay down to sleep
>feel myself going to sleeep
>start thinking about how I'm going to sleep and how I better not fuck it up
>snap back awake

Projecting? Do you even know what that word means ?

>wake up
>can't remember the dream you had at all

It's the smallest bit of fucking true entertainment I have in life stop depriving me of it brain you humorless fuck.

Both, but I was implying more the second

This?

>tfw drugs killed your memory

I've tried hard, worked pretty consistently for the last 15 years. I've got nothing and no one. I don't want to be here any more.

>have dream about amazing girl who loves you for everything you are, is slightly forceful, and gets you to be a better person
>wake up and realize you'll not only die alone, but you'll live alone for the rest of your life

This is me for the last 6 months. I always took a while to get to slepp but i'd fucking stay that way until the morning. Now I wake up after 3 hours and cant stay asleep for more thna an hour at a time before waking up again and again. It's starting to age me like fuck. especially the wrinlkes around my eyes and i'm only 28.

Don't post for me faggot.

I've just had enough. I've struggled with depression for years but hidden it from everyone my whole life. I'm just genuinely exhausted. There's nothing logical about feeling this way. So yeah.

>don't fap for 3 weeks

>have insanely vivid wet dream where i meet chubby qt and can feel my dick penetrating her vagina in dream world

>feel myself cumming hard

>wake up, boxers literally drenched in cum

>remember every wet dream I had

Feels good man. I wish this would happen every night

>back and knee injuries from motorbike crash
>cant lift weights
>cant train martial arts
>cant run

I dream I'm running all the time, I wake up and cant stop crying, if I could make it look like an accident id kill myself in a heartbeat

He replied to both of us.

I don't think i've ever had a wet dream. Strange I guess.

Exercise

Don't fap for 3+ weeks

Damn. One of the things that keep me from being completely depressed these days is exercise. I have to lift and run on my treadmill on off days otherwise I feel like complete shit.

How old are you? 35?
C'mon, cheer up. I do not know the details, but I'm sure it is not that bad. You are not living under a bridge, you are not rotting alive becouse of cheep drugs, e.t.c.
I'm not an expert, but may be you shuld try something new? Like another job or hobby...

I lift 3 nights a week and run on my off days. my life is a constant cycle of exercise all week whilst maintaining a fast heart beat then drinking on the weekend which of course maintains my fast heart beat again.

I've stopped exercising for a few days and stopped drinking for a few weeks before but it just wont fucking stop. I cant sleep without waking up anymore and it's destroying me.

There's worse things in life than living in poor conditions.

You could live in a palace surrounded by loved ones and still the brain can rot.
The worst things in this world are truth and regret. They both come in all forms like monsters, and similar to monsters they often come in the night.
We are simple animals with complicated dreams.

>I've just had enough.
Enough of what?
>I've struggled with depression for years
I know it may sound silly, but the is a guy on youtube who suffered a depression for i_dont-remember_how_many years, and than he just decided to make some vids about depressing shit, and it helped him.
Also, do you have frends, family, some one special?

>Cred Forums - Sleep and Dreams

>Cred Forums - Memes and Dreams

WAS IT ALL A MEME

>tfw autistic
>for years people thought I was depressed but it turns out I just have a cold personality.
>Impossible for me to get bored. I can literally just makes jokes and laugh to myself for hours on end.

Why don't you just go take a few dozen vaccines and join the master race?

>only lifts 3 days a week

Not gonna make it

> it's a babbys first privileged white faggots existential crisis and """depression""" episode

That's not even an existential crisis, it's just a fact of life.
You'll feel a lot better when you embrace it rather than delude yourself.

same way you turn up missing

>tfw there is a deadline on your tasks
>missing the deadline will get you a neetbux cut

Sorry, wasnt here for a couple of minutes.
Get a help. You need it. I do not think you are bad person. And I thing it's fucking stupid than ok folks commiting suicide.

Every fucking night.

I'm not even him. I think of killing myself every single night and I never will because life is literally the only thing I have.

>I think of killing myself every single night and I never will because i'm a pussy
FTFY

>life is literally the only thing I have
This

this every single night
fuck

...

>witness me, im so badass

>people thought there was something wrong with me
>turns out I just have a cold personality
Yeah, because there's something wrong with you.

I depend of Gabapentin and it wears off by the time I wake up evey day, so every time I wake up, I am in extreme pain and feel like absolute dog shit for the first 5 or 6 hours of the day.

>Tfw when i was younger i got obsessed with suicide
>Tfw was scared as shit of my brothers killing themselves
>My tactic was to convince them that their life didn't belong to them but to the people that helped them form it and they must keep living until they give back at the ones that raised them, wich of course i guilted them into knowing that they will never be able.
>Scared shitless that the moment me Grandma or Grandpa die it'll be a mass catastophre.

Send help lads.

>falling asleep
>whole body spasms and I have a horrible feeling like I was about to fall
>wide awake now

>bump into girl on train
>think about our married life for the rest of the day

There is nothing brave about killing yourself because your depression. It's stupid and pathetic

every time

Every fucking time. When does it stop?

it's literally the bravest thing you can do

...

>Did too much MDMA on friday
>Serotonin depletion got me feeling depressed about nothing

>Tfw need money
>Can get money
>Don't do it.

Am i fucking retarded ?

>take a sip of water
>immediately need to piss

Are you me?

I can only explain it as being in a state of consciousness and unconsciousness, you're completely aware of your surroundings but things are hazy and dream like.

I saw a shadowy mass at the end of my bed, the shape was visible enough that I could tell it had female characteristics, not only that, but I could feel that it was a feminine presence.

I tried to lift my head up but I couldn't move a muscle in my body, even though the urgency to do so was there. I think I may have see a face as the mass grew larger and came closer, but within about a minute, I had fallen back to sleep.

I think the helplessness attributes to much of the fear.

same here.

It'll be okay.

I think that's sleep apnea

>sleep
>dream about falling from a building
>wake up
>check side of my bed
>I'm actually falling from a building

underrated

oh god

Cred Forums is ACTUALLY DYING this time isn't it?

>Slowly fall asleep thinking about the best sketch comedy known to man and stand up comedy bits
>Completely forgotten when woken up

>wake up
>both hands have no feeling on them and all tingly

>he fell for the Cred Forums is dying meme
Good goy, now buy your Cred Forums pass.

>tfw can easily get a degree and get a job because smart
>spend the rest of my time jerking off to Chinese cartoons and shitposting at a Taiwanese knitting board

was it worth

...

What kind of wonderland is in that pic?

I hope so user, i'm scared.

Yyes

Goodbye all, see you racist sexist fucks in the real world

You guys are always forgetting to name 10 movies/shows where this happens.

>racist sexist fucks
jokes on you I don't leave my basement and get money from the government

Your """"""journalism"""""" degree debt is my weekly paycheck

:^)

>tfw finally manage to hang myself
>wake up

too real

>got a deadline for a substancial advance on my thesis in 6 hours
>literally haventdone shit since August
>spend whole night trekposting on Cred Forums
I'm such a literal waste of space, I should just kill myself

I'm such a

>sleep
>tell my ex-girlfriend I'm going away forever and she can't follow me there
>she accepts that I have to go
>wake up, everything's the same
the ride never ends

>Be thinking about something for ages
>Instantly completely forget it and never remember it again

You still have plent of time.

>tfw finally have a gf
>she's bi

Pretty standard but demon right in front of me and couldn't move. Terrifying. I'm surprised it was something conventional though.

hahaha

1. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
2. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
3. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
4. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
5. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
6. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
7. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
8. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
9. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)
10. A Talking Cat!?! (2013, DeCoteau)

I guess you can talk her into a trio without going through so much shit

How is this a bad thing

My ex girlfriend was bi, I told her she could do whatever she wanted with girls but not with guys

Girls are the least threatening thing ever

>life is literally the only thing I have.
That's all anyone really has user

Threesome?

Everything about this post is fucking hilarious

...

>sister keeps telling me i'll marry one of her friends
>at least a solid 7
>it's been happening for the last 10 months
>don't know whether to keep hoping for the set-up or actually try doing something myself
>tfw no gf continues

There really is an outfit for every occasion

Ask her to set you up on an actually date with one of her friends

If she can't do that then just leave it

>girls x girls , boys x boys

dump her soon so that she doesn't have to suffer with your pathetic ass any longer

>plan to watch a movie sometime during the day
>browse Cred Forums from when I wake up to until I fall asleep

I'm a little late, but just hang in there. I used to feel that way a few years back. If you hang in for long enough, you eventually find your will to live that jjst kind of comes out of nowhere.

>tfw yesterday watched a flick

Tbh it's becoming more difficult. Usually I encourage myself with food.

I'll miss you all when Cred Forums is dead.

>fall asleep
>wake up in the middle of the night with that feel when no life or job

>fall asleep again
>wake up and browse Cred Forums for 3/4 of my day

>go to sleep
>try to wake up
>CAN'T WAKE UP!!

>tfw going to bed at sunrise when the birds are chirping

Ever since i started working at home i can't fucking stop it.

I just want to go back to humankind.

>have dream about zombie apocalypse
>starts out with me being a people-sized kaiju with a bunch of Godzilla monsters
>we're all running and hiding from that one Transformer that looks like a dinosaur and transforms into a city metroplex?
>he sees we're scared, calls us pathetic and shoots us with a purple beam of light
>later
>the zombie apalypse happens and everyone is a fast zombie oozing purple from their mouths
>i'm human and I'm trying to survive atop some kind of big shelf in a zombie infested furniture warehouse along with some other survivors and mila jovovich
>then we're parkouring across a city filled with futuristic/1980s/las vegas style architecture and bright neon lighting
My dreams are fucking weird.

That's fucking rad

>Monday: Bench (chest+tri's)
>Wednesday: Deadlifts (back+ biceps)
>Friday: Squats (legs+shoulders)

>Doing any more than that without steroids
>Ever

Confirmed for knowing nothing or being a roiding non competing faggot.

>lifting
what a cuck

>be a virgin
>alpha myself up and start getting bitches (this was in early 10's when becoming alpha was still in)
>have a dream where a perfect girl loves me endlesly ect.
>wake up smiling, finally having understood that perfect girl is a childish concept and imperfect girls have way more substance

You too can man up and become more intelligent.

>75014742
>lifting in my home gym
>being cucked

Nah. Enjoy being a skinny fat grown man.

Wait. How is he a loyal nigga if she's a side chick?

>go to sleep
>dream about fucking qt from high school
>wake up
everything went better than expected

>finally manage to feel tired at noon the next day
>every day is perpetual twilight, barely see the sun

You're finally beginning to see

At last.

>the shape was visible enough that I could tell it had female characteristics, not only that, but I could feel that it was a feminine presence.
I came.

Am I the only one who wants someone to shoot him in the back of the head?

>wake up
>crash a plane with no survivors

>wake up
>you're 60 yo
>fuck I should have done it when I was supposed to

literally haven't been on a date before, so i have no idea how that would go. but i guess waiting and doing nothing isn't helping. i think her friend has also never done anything like that, so could be an issue.

should just continue to overthink everything and continue to be crippled by indecision for the rest of eternity.

>be in love in a dream with a girl
>wake up
>for a few minutes still feel in love with an imaginary person
fuck you brain

Is this the best Chinese cartoon of our generation? youtube.com/watch?v=OJNZficmd6M

>it's a new girl every other night
>have a dream harem and I'm 100% alright with this

Blue lights shining through curtains, then through the glass door. Silhouettes against door, the door opens, tall shadowy aliens stand next to me, them my entire body feels like its being pulled upwards with intense pressure in my chest and head. Pure terror the entire time. Basically standard abduction scenario. Looking back, it was kinda paralysiskino

>dream of having a daughter who hurt someone
>don't care what she did and do my best to protect her
>wake up with fatherly feelings
>remember i'm just a virgin who'll likely never have kids

godspeed, user

>didnt fap for 2 and half weeks
>have a wet dream
>i am licking some qts feet and cum hands free
It was such a good fucking feeling.Gotta do this more often.

>Things that didn't happen

>tfw you will never raise a son

Just wait a bit longer and enjoy the age of meme politics - cyborg stuff is just around the corner for you.

>Implying you didn't get actually probed by aliens and this isn't just your brain's coping mechanism

hey friend, mind if I save that rare Robo-Pepe for future use, thanks in advance!

Holy moly

You sound like an underage retard.

I have considered it. I told my Dad and now he believes that i'm a drug addict, and drops hints about it whenever I visit

Dont do it user.Theres always something worth living for.

>freeze and cant move
>cant hear anything
>all of a sudden a face beside me screams in my ear
>cant love head so i cant see it
>thing is hust constantly screaming
>try to force my head but cant
>see something crawling all over my ceiling and a real slow speed with its eyes fixed on me

That drove me to drink every night so i could pass out asleep

>spend years wishing I was dead
>finally make a proper noose
>realise I don't actually want to die
>still have no desire to improve my life

>Have daughter
>Not with mother
>Her mother is actually very good at cooperating with you and raising your daughter with you despite your differences
>Her mom is kind of a cheating slut though
I swear to god, if my daughter breaks some boys heart because her mom, despite her job as a paramedic and many fine qualities, is a moral blackhole when it comes to being a caring significant other, I'll slap her fucking face off her skull.

It was Trypticon.

what

SNAP! HHhhhh.... SNAP! Hhhhh.... SNAP! Hhhhh... maybe? SNAP!!!!

I'd recommend adoption for you but you'd probably only end up touching the girl.

>Willfully breeding with a cheating slut

???

user???

I've got a daughter with a woman who is overall a great human being. She saves literal lives everyday, has never not allowed me to see my daughter and we raise her together. However, she has a bad habit of being a whore, her one big flaw. "I don't like being tied down". I was ranting because I don't want that to influence my child's thinking at all. It will a bit, I know, but I have to curtail it because I'd whip my daughter's ass up and down the house if she doesn't have enough respect for other human beings to at leave them before fucking another person. Get it now? Also, DNA test said she is definitely mine. Has my eyes and nose too. She's a qt baby.

Drunken accidents senpai. Still occasionally sleep together too.

Degenerate. And your daughter is on a path to ruin.

Use wrinkle cream. I have anxiety/ depression and don't sleep for shit and don't have any wrinkles thanks to anti-aging cream.

are you a virgin?

So be it, if she turbo sluts it up, she turbo sluts it up.

I always get this. Annoying as fuck.

I get this weird sensation where I'm fully aware but my eyes are closed and I can't move or breathe. It takes like thirty seconds of concentrated willpower to force myself to roll and wake up. It's fucking terrifying.

Maybe you were actually abducted by aliens.

Haha this made me laugh, thank you user.

>wake up in the middle of the night with raging boner
>never remember what I assume must be some amazing erotic dreams
>can't go back to sleep because I usually do it face down

>recent;y found out that I'm INTP
>every action I take is now being filtered with my understanding of why I do the autistic shit that I do
>realize that I truly am doomed to be this way forever and go right back to procrastinating in my black hole, which is what INTPs do best

Fucking hate this shit, and the feeling lingers all morning

>dream I'm marrying my crush
>wake up

>dream my crush tells me I can be her boyfriend
>wake up

>dream about my crush's feet
>wake up

>dream I'm playing basketball with some random QT
>wake up

Fuck

>dream of pissing myself
>wake up and I didn't piss myself
20 times in a row at least

Same here. I feel the warmth and the sensation and embarrassment and all that fucking jazz but when I wake up in panic shortly after there's nothing there. Hell I don't even need to piss.

>tfw I'm actually articulate, collected and insightful in some of my dreams

Fuck you subconscious for showing me what could have been.

Every fucking night man.

>have a list of goals
>go to bed
>wake up, see list
>"I'll do them tomorrow"

>mfw

>that unholy smell when you empty your piss bottles

>dream about getting into an argument with Brock Lesnar on the radio

This holy shit fuck you memory REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

...

>trying to drink self to death
>start shitting blood
>start throwing up blood after 3 beers
it's the worst way to kill yourself, lad

>go to sleep
>tfw wake up more tired then I was before sleeping

>it's a "wake up from a deep dream and you feel like you have no stress or responsibilties but as you wke up reality comes crashing down on you" episode

I didn't ask for this life.

>cut myself while shaving
>the bleeding doesn't stop

Fuck, that sounds terrifying

>go to sleep
>An exact copy of me with my memories wakes up the next day, I died the moment I went to sleep

>I'll miss after I die
This doesn't make any goddamn sense.

>take a nap
>wake up with a headache

>need to wake up early in the morning but it's already 3 AM and too late to fall asleep now and wake up on time
>stay up all night

This

This will be the last thing you see before you die.

>take a nap
>wake up severely dehydrated and dizzy