Oh my God, it's in!

I stuck my dick through the fly in my boxers and into her pussy. I was ashamed of my body because I was fat back then.

did you attempt to fuck with your shirt on too?

I heard that Christopher Mintz-Plasse used to just tour college towns after the movie came out and just crush top tier poon becuase sloots wanted to fuck mclovin

No. I took that off but then was too self conscious to take the bottoms off. Thinking on it now it makes zero sense and I wish I could go back and not he a pussy. Oh well, never made that mistake again at least.

Do you blame him?

not at all im a lil jelly. Props for punching miles above his weight considering how dusty he looked right when the movie was released. He probably has a permanent "get into pussy free card" for the rest of his acting years, just has to mention he was Mclovin and 10/10s will want to fuck him so they can tell their friends

at least you learned something and got your dick wet

Being famous is essentially being granted a free pussy card, your level of fame will dictate what sort of access you get but I can guarantee you even William Hung has got fucked dozens of times by women who recognised him and wanted a story to tell their friends.

Yeah, and literally. Didn't wear a condom.

First time I wore a condom during sec was when I was 26 and that was because it was a brothel and I had to.

I can tell you'll be visiting a lot of them

>he believes the hymen myth

Kek

Yeah. 31 now and haven't had sex with anyone who wasn't a prostitute since I was 25.

thats the way to be tbqh

does anyone else think shallow penetration feels better than deep penetration?

i do

nah

sounds like something some envious dork would come up with.

Yeah, that's how I feel. I get lonely here and there but I've been living alone for 5 years. I wouldn't want to live with anyone else. Solitude is awesome. I think I'd be tired of them within a week.
Longest relationship I've ever had was like a year and a total waste of time and energy.

There's a lot more truth to the hymen myth than those people want to admit.

I like slowly going in the p***y, stopping halfway through a few times, then going all the way down, alternating that for a while before hard pounding then back to slow alternating pumping. Drives em wild lads.

what does a vagina feel like bros?

Salty bag of warm apple sand

What about diseases?

I say this as someone who definitely caught something once and had to go get a shot in the butt, even with protection.

dont really know wether to laugh or applaud tbf

>tfw lost my virginity to my first gf at 17, when the afternoon sun was filtering in through the blinds

ive quite literally had to stop myself from finishing or even thinking about that sentence any more. i have such a shit memory but i cant remember that day like it was yesterday and all the feels i felt come flooding back and now i lay in bed all day doing nothing and talking to anonymous people. i am going to kill myself some time soon

In my country prostitution is legal, regulated and all in brothels. Girls are required to practice safe sex (although I've had two fuck me bareback) , check the clients for any signs of disease before sex and subjected to regular sti tests.

Ironically fucking a hooker here is safer than a one night stand.

That was only last year. Give it time, you'll heal.

Damn, lucky you. In clapistan you have to go to like a shittier version Craigslist and hope the number you call isn't a cop. At least it's outcall but then you have to worry about passing other people in the building because it's pretty obvious what's up.

I think it's horrible that a country would do this to it's citizens.

Fly in your boxers? What?
Beautiful digits though. Good job on that.

...

>married
>Could not fit on wedding night
>Broke wife's hymen , it was like a gunshot wound

Sex is not that much better the a good fap.
Few things make it better.
Warm and wet
Emotional connection, tits and ass.

I highly recommend less fap, no porn.

>I can guarantee you even William Hung has got fucked dozens of times by women who recognised him and wanted a story to tell their friends
Man I do no not want to meet the whore who banged William Hung just so she had a cool story to tell her friends.

"Hey Will, let us see how hung you are"

I seriously can't tell if that picture is a joke or not.

It's not.

severely underated lines of dialogue here lads

You sound like a bitch

>be Vin Diesel
>star in whatever the fuck movie comes my way
>laugh when they take me out of movie series and they dip
>fuck anything that moves
>no one cares I'm bald
>thus get to skip bar crawling and club hopping and spend Friday nights rolling d20s and hustling mad treasure
>get to play your self insert edgy try hard character on screen and people love it

Fuck, Vin is so goddamn alpha nerd.

>rolling d20s and hustling mad treasure
I have no idea what these words mean. Is this the lingo kids are using these days?

oh god, my sides

I lost it at 13 to my 25 year old English teacher

>I lived in a Spanish-speaking country at the time, but knew English so I went to competitions
>Made 2nd place nationally
>she says we should celebrate and gets me a beer at her place
>be 13 so it gets me to what today would be the 4-5 beer point
>sitting on the couch right next to her
>feeling emboldened, she was really hot, so I start saying flirtatious shit in English
>she giggles and flirts back
>compliment her a bunch and slowly go in for a kiss
>she grabs my head and pretty much facefucks me with her tongue
>I grab her ass
>she shoves her hand down my pants and grabs my dick
>we go to the bedroom, throwing our clothes out as we go
>get on the bed
>she spreads her legs
>"I want your fat cock inside me user"
>shove it in
>come instantly
>embarrassment
>despair
>have not been able to come from sex ever since

Fuck life

i save a similar story. Not of the time I lost my virginity but right after. Maybe a month later. Same girl, who I ended up getting married too. Problem is, we got into drugs (oxy) pretty heavy, and that, of course, 8 years later turned to Heroin... Im clean now, but needless to say their were times after that which were a nightmare. I have this one good memory left, and thats it. Nothing but pain an misery for a fucking Decade, and this one amazing memory.

go back to normiebook faggot

Yeah I'm sure THAT guy know a whole lot about vaginas

hmmmm not sure that really happened user. Sounds more like it was last week, your 30, and it was with a prostitute. You came instantly thought, that much is certain

Vinnie loves D&D m8

Did he cum in 8 seconds and cried afterwards ?

You'll find yourself saying that often when you read about American law.

I hate that video. I don't about hymens, but just the way they present it is shit.
>two idiot men getting talked down by a woman
>barely giving any sources
>"hey maybe you should bring in an expert on the subject"
>"i am an expert because i'm a woman"
Yeah, because guys totally know everything about their own dicks. Shit, all humans must just be experts on their own body. Why do we even bother with medical professionals?

youtube.com/watch?v=7UIIiYunMQk

youtube.com/watch?v=ICaTsTkBPV8

Technically statutory, but I wanted it at the time so whatever

>I married a 26 yr old virgin
>She has been riding horses since she was 15
>Relatively athletic.
>Still had a fully intact hymen on wedding night

No hymen no diamond mothafucker.

who else found out they were gay when they lost their virginity?

i never told the girl i lost it to

>tfw girl wouldn't let me in the first time because my dick was too big for her

I didn't cum my first time either, nor did I take off my boxer shorts.

>tfw 22 year old kissless virgin

Me too

27 yearold kissless virgin

>26 yr old virgin
You didn't even try making this shit believable
Kill yourself

She is a chirstcuck.

I went ten years after having regular daily sex.
Eventually you just stop giving a shit.
I actually dumped the girl I was with after ten years because she was terrible at sex. Even bad sex being better than no sex is a myth.

>tfw have a dream about a girl I haven't seen in fifteen fucking years and rarely think about
> can't stop thinking about her a week later

Why must life be so cruel?

Are you me?

>mfw his mother was in the room while he filmed this scene

honestly rubbing your dick against it until you cum feels better than inserting it