Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt...

Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt? We sent a rich politician away to go undercover as a mob boss grunt for like a week, I guess no imperial agents noticed him missing. Could have also been easily recognized by someone in Jabba's posse (Boba Fett for instance) and killed. We also sent in our strongest warrior as a prisoner, even though he might just be instantly destroyed. I also sent in our droids as a cheap gift, totally unequal to your life. I also put my only weapon inside on of the droids, on the off-chance you might be on a barge in the middle of the desert and the droid might be in a position to shoot my lightsabre to me. If Jabba accepted my offer, then I would have lost my lightsabre forever. I also sent my sister in disguised as a bounty hunter, to pretty much openly threaten Jabba with a grenade for some reason. Finally, I went in myself completely unarmed, to attempt to use a cheap trick on Jabba. It didn't work and I was almost killed by a Rancor. We were all captured, but we were all shipped out into the middle of the desert, where everyone was perfectly placed to help me rescue you. Luckily, no-one was killed or even harmed before we got to the desert, or the whole thing wouldn't have worked. You are a good friend.

Well when you put it like that it does all seem pretty ridiculous.

I always got the impression they just kept fucking up, not that it was all part of some crazy elaborate plan

Why Luke would give his saber to R2 still doesn't make sense though

Did I mention the part where I can see into the future?

Leia, did I ever tell you we are capable of setting up log traps in a matter of days, and have vines strategically scattered across the forest to swing on. We also have armor-piercing slingshots, devastating catapaults and bundles of rocks everywhere. You would've been a good roast.

>Obi-Wan, did I ever tell you about Luke? He is our last hope. I want you to look after him on this desert shithole of a planet. But don't train him in secret or teach him anything in the 18 or so years of his life. Wait until his sister steals data tapes and his family gets killed because some droid landed on his sandfarm. Then when we have no time left give him his father's childkilling lightsaber and tell him he's a jedi. As our last hope we better do everything we can to prepare him. Be a good friend.

>rich politician

Op buttdestroyed in one post.

Disney's Star Wars : Luke Skywalker quite sure After Return of Jedi movie when?

Luke, did I ever tell you about how we used to train Jedi? There was a giant temple and after lunch Master Yoda would give them lightsabers and stand in arms length of each other and swing them to avoid getting shot with a blaster. We had to get them when they were children or all of this training wouldn't work. They were all slaughtered by your father, with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good child murderer.

Luke, did i ever tell you i was going commando and the guy who played Jango got practically paid to stare at my asshole for days?
He was a good friend (of George's)

>ywn cum on coked up carries tummy

Oh, you can still try.
Bring a pound of coke and a blindfold for yourself, you can't miss.

So is this the return of Luke posting?

Not while I'm around boyo

Fuck off.

'no'

Luke should've become Jabba's slave desu, he'd be a much better submissive sex slave than Leia.

OT fags BTFO. Will they ever recover from this?

>luckily, Lieutenant Jobs-Worth was in charge of the gun battery

OT fan here, I can sit back and laugh at some of plot nonsense and admit there was a large degree of Lucas writing involved
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>b b but why do you not flip the fuck out
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Cause I'm in my 40s and not a whiny, entitled millennial who gets defensive n butthurt when the Prequels are laughed at

>He was a good child murderer

>YWN see young twink luke wearing a golden bikini servicing aliens while his sister watches

>implying Vader wouldn't enjoy Lukeposting

Those bedroom eyes say it all

That would probably mindbreak her more than being Jabba's sex slave herself.

I want lukefags to leave

Luke, did I ever tell you how I once let Chewie suck my cock? Also did I ever tell you how tight his pussy is? I know your jelly but listen up, wookies know how to please a nigger, you dig?

We'll leave when Luke stops being best waifu.

Seriously, what did he mean by this?

This.

I believe the idea was that Luke believed he would be searched and his lightsaber taken from him if it was found on him. Moreover he follows the jedi ways and wanted to use violence only as a last resort, imagining that his mind tricks and some subterfuge would be enough to rescue his friends. The seemingly planned nature of his and his friends' escape from Jabba's barge was just due to the fact that they'd been fighting together for the past 3 years and so were able to work together well.

Luke is pretty cute tbqh. No homo

why would he be searched if he could mind trick his way in without being searched?

Nothing homo about calling another man cute.

Luke, did I ever tell you about my plans for the new republic after we win? We'll form a proxy military group called the resistance despite us being the dominating force in the galaxy. Our job will be to search for you and keep an eye out on the remnant faction of the empire, the first order. Unfortunately luke we failed to notice that a section of the empire once again building another deathstar, this time ten times bigger on an icy planet! And while we were supposed to be searching for you we unfortunately had the majority of our ships circling new coruscant instead of scouring the galaxy looking for you. Thankfully though, with the help of a xenomorph and a few xwings to attack an entire military planet we managed to attack them back. Your good friend han who abandoned me during war managed to get the highest ranking indoctrinated stormtrooper to abandon their cause i one conversation. But alas he was killed by our emo son soon afterwards..but dont worry Luke he made plenty of quips about our prior adventures before dying.

He was a good husband.

The droids are the scouts sending intel back to Leia and Luke.
Leia and Lando make the first rescue attempt. At minimum they can free Han from the carbonite.
Luke knows that if anyone gets caught they will be thrown into the Sarlac for entertainment.

Luke, did I ever tell you about how Yoda fought alongside Chewbacca during the clone wars? Its something I forgot to mention while we were soliciting transportation to the planet Alderaan, where your sister who is actually the girl you've been stroking it to ever since R2 showed you that hologram clip. By the way, did I also tell you that I actually met R2D2 when I was a padawn. He was a maintenance droid on a Noobian yacht.

eh was a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything

Hi cats.