ITT things Arnold would say after shooting a clown off his back porch with a shotgun

You can take a pie in the face, let's see if you can take this

>"No, doctor. I am Pagliacci"
>slow motion gun battle to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World"

>they shouldn't have sent in the clowns

That's the joke.

>"Fuck you clown niggercunt!"
What did he mean by this?

>I stood my clown
>No bozos in the back

All I got

> Did i break your funny bones?

All you got is legit terrible.

> Haha funny man

Winrar

Clowns suck!

>ZTAHP CLOWNIGHN AROWUND

> They sent in the clowns
> I sent them to hell

>I'm afraid my clowndition has left me cold to your pies for mercy

>Show's over

>tfw someone went with my idea and made it way better

>get to the choppah

>no more fun and games

>let's turn that clown upside down

>Now people will have no choice but to vote for Hillary Clinton

>jo jo, more like bo zo

>Who's laughing now? Me.

>This porch has only room for one clown

>ITZ NAHT A HUUUUMOUURRRR

>wanna hear a joke? 2 slugs enter a clown

>time for the circus to leave town

>Bobo, meet shotgun

>take that fake shoe wearing baztard.

>GET CLOWN!

>you're not going to do kid's parties anymore.
>bang
>how do funerals sound?

>what did the shotgun say to the clown?

>sorry bozo, there's a new clown in town

FINISH THE FUCKING STORY MAN

>what do you call a dead clown?

>looks like you didn't have a permit to perform

>your act is dead

>You're dead funny

>that joke was a killer

>I guess I killed the joke

>Looks like the circus has got outta town

Splat

>your act is up, funny man

let me put on some face pain

>and they say Austrians have no sense of humor.
>They're right
Boom.

>Here's your punchline

bretty gud

>playtimes ova

>Pennywise? More like Lenny dies. *loads shotgun* Also your name is now Lenny. *PENG*
>Not really into floating. *PENG*
>Some say laughter is healthy. Know what I say? *loads shotgun* slaughter is healthier. *PENG* Works better when written rather than said.
>Let me tell you a joke. *PENG* Couldn't handle the punchline?

>Your flower sprays water
>Mine sprays lead

This

>What a joker.

In what country do shotguns go "peng"?

Good

The rest are pitiful

winna

*pistol whips*
>LOOKS LIKE YOUHHH'RE THE BUTT OF THE JOKE

>That's what you get for wearing white face you fucking nigger

>Clown, down.

>Someone call ze doctor, this clown has missile poisoning

I hate clowns...

Do you know what happens to a clown when it shot in the face with a shotgun?

Did Raimi write this?

>Hello, police? A man in a clown suit just attempted to rob my home.

>Show's over Bozo

*blows Clown's brains out*
>MAKEUP your mind!
*another Clown pops up from behind the bushes*
*Anhold throws his shotgun like a lance and impale the Clown in the chest*
>ClOWN CARdiac arrest!
*2 Ninja Clowns jump from the roof of his house*
*Anhold punches one in the stomach in mid-air, making him hit the other one and they both go through the wall and into the kitchen, falling into the kitchen sink and down the garbage disposal*
*a fine spary of blood erupts from the garbage disposal and repaints the whole kitchen blood red*
>This isn't my first rodeo, Clowns!

>Time for you to join the 3 ring circus

Underrated kek

>STEP AWAY FROM THE CLOWN-CAR, OR THERE WILL BE... TROUBLE

Ice to clown you

>batman can take a vacation now

Great one, but it doesn't feel like an Arnold one. More like a Die Hard one.

DUDE DRUMPF LMAO

>Back to the Bigtop, Bozoo.
>I Circ Due Slayed you.
>This is for Dumbo.
>Clown Around.
>Now you are.....Upside Clown

>You're killing me. Let me return the favor.

>Oh, I'll take you back to college Stinky the Dunce
>To Clown College

>I took too much PCP again

>but it doesn't feel like an Arnold one.

>I Circ Due Slayed you.

>Bozo failed to made me laugh
>So I shot him
>Shot his invisible dog too

youtube.com/watch?v=HczQ7aVQtX4
>CLOWN
youtube.com/watch?v=FJIkT0-OwTg
>CANNON
youtube.com/watch?v=zKVFMR_uFNY

>Go back to clown college

That will be something hard to put make up on

>hah! Looks like you're all....outta jokes!

Underated classic post.

WHERE'S RACHEL

>Get off my property, faggot. I'm just trying to raise my family, holy shit.

>Looks like this clown won't be raising his children

>Bozo the clown! Now: Deadzo!

Who's laughing now?

you're mum is pittiful LOL

"A Birthday Party Clown? You look more like a Funeral Parlor Cadaver to me!"

>oh shit
>this isn't my house
>please stop crying kids

fuck you doing

>it's a Dutch and Dillon go to clown college episode
Season 12 had really shit writing.

"Do not cry, kids. He had it coming. He was wearing white facepaint after Labor Day."

yer mum

See you at the party faggot

It was written for season 3, but the network thought the Dillon dressed as a bottomless Clown was too much for primetime.

>For you, the day Bison graced your Circus was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Movie Night.

Threads like this remind me I'm sharing this board with children.

Not bad

>there will never be a box set with audio commentary
Why live?

You're dead clown

It was a different time.

They tried to make an audio track, but Arnold didn't seem to understand what it was. He was really confused and kept asking the others to stop talking because he was trying to watch the movie.

Does anyone have a link to the official wiki?

You must be a riot at social gatherings.

"Don't cry, children. He wasn't a real Clown, he was only a French Gay Mime trying to pass as a Straight American Clown for Humorism purposes. I hate Humorists!"

>I don't much care for the fact that you are attempting to break into my home

You should untie them and turn yourself in to the police.

>tfw you'll never see the unreleased Season 27 of The new Adventures of Dillon and Dutch

the-new-adventures-of-dutch-dillon.wikia.com/wiki/The_New_Adventures_of_Dutch_Wiki

the-new-adventures-of-dutch-dillon.wikia.com/wiki/The_New_Adventures_of_Dutch_Wiki

underrated

>tfw no season will ever top season 17

Nothing can beat the best episode of the series: American Dutchwolf in London.

Too bad they couldn't get Bela Lugosi to reprise his role as Vampire Man though.

Austria, Germany, Switzerland.

>now THAT'S funny

I don't know why but I lost my shit at this.

Close Encounters of the Dutch Kind was better.
>While flying through space on the Pocket Rocket, Dutch & Dillon discover a mysterious planet completely populated by Dutch people, except for their immortal Japanese leader, Mangito (Sir Ian McKellen).

>I hate clowns
kills second one
>I really hate clowns
after killing a bunch
>You know, clowns arent that bad

I know now why you lough, but it is something i can never do.

No more molesting children for you

Will Arnolds spic son bring us the second coming of Arnold kino?

He jsut needs to work on his Austrian accent

Don't clown around my ass.

Dutch & Dillon Go To Space is the best Action-oriented episode. It's basically a 4 hour fight scene on fast forward so it will last only 1 hour.

Dillon is sent on a misson for NASA to pilot their new experimental space craft. Dutch takes along as he has nothing better to do that weekend. Dutch over hears from some scientists that Dillon will probably not make it back as the new ship is incredibly dangerous. This leads to Dutch trying to knock out Dillon and take his place piloting the ship. Of course Dillon doesn't get knocked out that easily. They start fighting each other across the entire base and eventually into the ship's cockpit where they accidentally trigger the count down clock.
With Both of them in space the ship goes off course and they are destined to float for ever in the darkness of cosmos. All nasa space missions come with a secret suicide pill in case of being trapped in space. Dillon finds the pill and wants to give it to Dutch to save him the pain of slowly starving to death. Dutch figures it out and wants to give the suicide pill to Dillon. This leads to a huge fight in zero gravity, which accidentally sets off the warp drive.

Dutch and Dillon find themselves far outside our solar system and face to face with a massive battle cruiser. They are taken aboard to meet the leader of the 100 Sun empire the Great Immortal King Gru-Zork (played by Charles Nelson Reilly). Upon investigating their ship Gru-Zork's scientists feel that Earth is backwards and primitive and ready for an invasion. Gru-Zork speaks to Dutch and Dillon but seeing how macho and manly they are he figures all Earth People are like that and is too scared to invade. He teleports them back to Earth safely and with an apology.

Black to the Future is the Dillon and Dutch kino though

the-new-adventures-of-dutch-dillon.wikia.com/wiki/Black to the Future?redlink=1

Dutch and Dillon find themselves in civil war days. Dillon has to pretend to be Dutch's butler to not cause any suspicion (Dutch has too much fun bossing Dillon around).

They over here two men talking about the upcoming murder of Abraham Lincoln. Dutch and Dillon decide to stop them. The truth was that evil bankers want to kill Lincoln for issuing greenbacks. D&D have to fight a hired chinese assassin ninja: Bruce Lee Harvey Oswald (played by Jackie Chan in his first american role).

Saving Lincoln Dutch and DIllon return to modern america but now find that the Blacks are in charge and whites are slaves. Now its Dillon's turn to boss around Dutch!!. Turns out after the civil war Lincoln passed a law taking away all the rights of whites, to teach them a lesson.

Dutch and Dillon return to 1860s after the war and have to hire a famous actor to kill Lincoln to return history back to normal. They tell him its all an "act" and the guns not even loaded.

>They should call you Noleg Popov now.
>You're going to need more than a Patch for that, Adams.
>Red Skeleton, more like Dead Skeleton.

>you like carnivals? here, have some merry go rounds

No love for Blain/Billy shenannigans?

> the-new-adventures-of-dutch-dillon.wikia.com/wiki/A_Star_is_Blain

Party's over - the clown has arrived.

>sorry to burst your balloon

I love that episode. Did you know that the Billy acor is the one who recorded the washboard solo? The Blain actor was dubbing Billy in the yodel scene.

The reason is that Landis is dyslexic and confused who was able to do what.

He would end it with a knock knock joke but I don't have a good one

"Come back in 6 Days. I'm busy."

youtube.com/watch?v=KqEGb_5b-j8

Why would they disrespect their own leading actor like this? I don't get it. I guess it was a different time.

>send in the corpses

>Tell me a joke clown man
>Too late

>hasta la vista, clown

SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, CLOWN!

I don't get it

>Coulrophobia is a fear of clowns, what's the term for fear of shotguns?

>funny, sad,... I'm the guy with the shotgun

>Knock knock Bello Nock.

>Clown: "Send in the clowns!"
>Arnold: *fires shotgun* "They're ahlready dead"

>death's a party
>consider it an invitation

>didn't fly so good

>realizes he just shot Danny DeVito
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>my daughter's birthday was yesterday

>tag, you're IT

>my jokes are better

>red nose say hi to my 12 gauge autoload

>"HE S A NIGGER, HES A NIGGER!"

>I'm the one who laughs last

>*drops shotgun, picks up lawnmower*
>Get to da choppa
>str8 vore ensues

>BONZO! You... son of a bitch!

>Ha-ha

With a "you think this is the real quaid?" style laugh this would be great.

You were imagining it in his voice. Same thing happened to me.

Lol

Underrated

Ekrixiravdiphobia

> that was a serious case of clownsyndrome.

NOW WE PLAY PIN THE TAIL ON DEAD YOU

>you know my favourite part about killing a gang of clowns
>i only need one coffin

>Pennywise? You should have been Pennywiser.

>clownista la vista babysta

>today's the day laughter died

Sides gone

>Well, the clown store called... and they've run out of you

>that one's for reddit.......

>who's this joker? *BANG*

>You laugh, you lose

send PT Barnum my regards

consider it a divorce

Massively underrated

...

>let's see if they laugh at your funeral

>I said stop making faces

>Tag... You're IT
>Hah ha hah Look who's laughing now

I'm too old for this shit.

Please recommend me some Arnold kino

kek

Honestly this is the best Cred Forums thread in years

Here's pie in your face, Honky.

i kek'd

I'll be shooting you off my back porch

a good start

>You and your friends are dead!

>suck it kike

>pssshhh... nothing PERSONNEL, kid.

>this thread is actually full of great Arnie lines

I actually want this movie to happen now.

And I thought MY jokes were bad.

>everyone loves a clown
>except for me

This.

>By the way, I fucked your wife

Let's see you make a balloon aneemall, in hell.

>Arnie kills clowns and quips for three hours

>'Astounding' - Rolling Stone
>'Four stars' - Roger Ebert
>'pretty gay desu famalam' - Cred Forums

>and I ended your life

>Bedtime for Bozo

Clown down, muthafucka

>That was the Killing Joke

>clowns are gay

You're one, funny... motherfucker

I'll be back

I may have been wrong about you Cred Forums

Threads like these gives me hope

>now you got holes to match your nose

>Bad timing.