Makes TFA review

This desu
All the back patting in the review, jesus christ
That was some serious cringe materiel there

It's not exclusively a FA review, that's why.

The problem with TFW is that it's so safe, bland, racially diverse, and basically a remake of ANH, that there's nothing much you can really say about it.

I think it's great he managed to make something that trolled literally everyone from SJW cucks to rabid Cred Forumstards.

This review (if you can call it that) was so bad I'd rather they just go back to doing Half in the Bag and Best of the Worst from now on.

No more Plinkett, Mike. You've lost it.

>dat autism

>hype something up
>it's boring
>lol trolled

>it's boring

how to spot a pleb

>i sit through movies i don't enjoy because i heard that's what smart people do

hurtful fredposter

>gator types

>all these buttblasted prequelfags
Based Mike does it again

>i don't know how to enjoy anything but snyder and bay flicks

stay pleb

He literally said it was ANH and there isn't much you can discuss that hasn't already been discussed. He goes on to actually say his own opinions on it, that it was too safe, that it was copy and pasta and if they wanted to bring the setting to a new audiences, the best thing to do would have been trying to change it slightly more.

He is right. Sex was basically totally fucking invisible in the originals. At best you get some kissing. But look at today's films and you see shit like Twilight which is essentially a love story about a Mormon choosing between Bestiality and Necrophilia.

He explained why the prequels were bad as a reason to EXPLAINING WHY TFA WAS NOT AS BAD.

FUCK ME WHY IS Cred Forums SO FUCKING STUPID?

jay pls go.

The thing with the new Plinkett is that it's not about the new Star Wars, it's about Mike. You see, he's obviously having some sort of middle life crisis and made this video for an ego boost: "I invented the star wars reviews posted on youtube!" "TFA is a decent film because of MY contributions!" "millenials BTFO!" You will start to realize some lines in the video like "I AM the internet" may not have as many layers of irony as you thought.

It's the reason why a fat, balding man was the only one to point out the supposed lack of sex in the film, as he lacks sex himself (ED or Jesse simply doesn't want him physically anymore) and projected his crisis into the movie .Other youtube reviewers didn't notice this, because they can easily cum with their gfs or porn.

He is feeling old, and can't properly critize TFA because it makes him feel the same way he felt as he watched A New Hope for the very first time. He'll leave the movie alone but make fun of younger fans who are just having fun (like the guys in the convention), presenting them as obssesed fanboys, while the Ring Theory segment ironically exposes him as an obssesed nerd who has probably seen every Star Wars film 50 times or more.

He became George Lucas. He became Plinkett.

i feel your pain user - rewatched the review last night to make sure I wasn't crazy - he was pretty harsh on TFA for a "shill" - he literally called it a scam.

Why he was so desperate to see a black guy kiss a white girl? He went on about it for about a third of his so-called review.

So this is pasta now? Can't wait to see this autistic nonsense posted in every RLM thread for the next two years.

He was making the point that sexuality was everywhere in the OT, what review were you watching?

>TFA lacks humanity. Am I supposed to believe that a white girl like Rey wouldn't be slobbering all over Finn's superior BBC within 5 minutes after meeting him?
What did Mike Cucklasa mean by this?

Yes but it wasn't beyond fucking euphemisms. Pun intended.

They could have shown it a bit more obviously in TFA, with, I dunno, X coming out of Y's room after staying the night or something.

The review, out of context, doesn't make sense, but when you watch the 2nd half, you realise what it was building up to. TFA wasn't some pile of shit which has to be justify as being TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME AND DEEP BECAUSE OF RING THEORY AND OMFG AWESOME LIGHTSABERS.

After all this time, he has become poetry

>Upset that RLM was "shilling" interracial sex
>Gets called out
>"B-but I only thought it was boring! J-jokes on you!"

IT WASN'T A TFA REVIEW

NO WHERE IN THE VIDEO TITLE DID IT SAY IT WAS A FORCE AWAKENS REVIEW

it's like poetry
it rhymes

>MY LIFE LACKS SUBSTANCE SO I FABRICATE DRAMA ENCOMPASSING PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET
Top LOL

Fuck off with this shitty excuse you rabid fanboys

If you think Plinkett is boring you clearly are in the wrong place

Try and explain how this review was more boring than his original prequel reviews

go ahead, refute it, my dear friend

What this guy has against alligators?

It's not an excuse, it's a fact.

>biggest complaint was Rey didn't get blacked
Of all the things to spend hours nitpicking.

>it's boring because it didn't validate my opinion

alligator ate his baby

The thing is half the people bitching here already know that and just choose to bitch anyway because I don't know, I guess that's what trolling is nowadays, pretending to be a stupid faggot so you can b8 a normal person who wants to discuss Cred Forums into having a pointless debate with you about nothing for hours

There's isn't even a payoff like traditional trolling where u make someone rage
It's so self aware here that everyone just immediately assumes everyone else is b8ing
And then the trolls get backed up by actual retards and then it's impossible to distinguish who's actually stupid and who's pretending to be stupid

But that's the thing
We're all fucking stupid
At least that's what I assume is the philosophy of these modern day post-2012 Cred Forums trolls that exist solely to induce pointless semantic debates

He - like must of us gained a new appreciation for the imperfect, yet ultimately more original and "personal" prequels contrasted to the soulless Disney money making machine.

History will smile kindly on George Lucas, when we're watching Star Wars episode 15 we'll look even more fondly on the much hated prequels.

I assume that's what that person I was replying to meant

To be fair, the prequel defence contrarians have become a quite visible irritant.

I assume that's what that person I was replying to meant

This post is faggot AIDS

Only professional critics and internet troglodytes truly hated the prequels. I would say a majority of the average normie scum(and in particular children) enjoyed them.

Mike sucked himself off, went on a tirade against the prequels again, then started in on stupid fan theories before he actually got to the review. The review being nothing but inane tangents.

RLM is finished.

They didn't, most normal people forgot they existed.
Meanwhile the ongoing nerd rage was the origin of the original Plinket reviews.

>jews adopt human child.dll

Did you get triggered?

His review was shit. It was uninteresting and probably lost 90 percent of the people watching when he spent 30 minutes on an inane fan theory.

He didn't need to spend so long on the Prequels. We know they're bad. However even if he did why did he bother with that fan theory that hardly anyone subscribes to?

>he never watched plinklett
hello mr newfag

Why did he want to a Plinkett video when it's obvious he had no will of doing the review or ideas about the content.
This video was a slog.
The HitB review was more than enough for TFA.

It was pretty good, it critiqued more than just Star Wars.

if you don't appreciate it, you are a manbaby who cares only about unboxing star wars figures

what nerds!

EVERYONE hates the new Plinkett review, r-right guys?

I dont understand why bring back the old cast is seen as a positive

People who vote on Youtube videos is not a good representation of everyone.

>dat desperation
No wonder you're butthurt about the new review: you can't handle not having your opinion validated.

And the autistic contrarian permavirgins on Cred Forums is?

Why do you think that people who vote on Youtube videos is a good representation of EVERYONE? There is a certain type of person who actually vote on that shit.

he actually wanted to make a new Scientist Man, but used Plinkett because he's a more popular character

>hating on the prequels
sort of the point was the insanity of the resurgence in people defending the prequels and how over sold star wars is

>tfw too intelligent to vote on youtube

youtubers get paid the amount of time people watch their videos now

>prequel fags are crying like little bitches again
BASED MIKE

lol no they don't, you retard. How would that even work? They get paid based on how many views the ads on their videos get.

Wow, you completely missed the point. The review claimed that one of TFA's problems was the LACK of sexual tension. He discussed how the original characters had a humanity to them and the chemistry between han and leia made them more complex. He criticized TFA because the romantic undertones didn't exist.

Fuck you for making me post

Stop. You're wrong. I don't have to explain myself, OK? You're just wrong. It was totally a prequel review rehash. Shut up.

I don't trust Disney, but the flaw in his theory that they were behind the prequels "articles" is that since buying Star Wars Disney has acted like the prequels don't exist.

>let me talk for an hour about how other people on the internet are wrong and bad and all copying me because i invented criticism and only i have any authority to talk about the star wars prequels

I usually don't care about that kind of shit, but it's out if character as fuck for Plinkett to love and shill diversity.

sorry

You're really stretching there, contrarian faggot.

Says who? According to what?

You can really tell who is underage around here by the constantly prequel jerking off

Not at all.

test

Why would people who were either 1 year old or not even alive for Phantom Menace love the prequels?

Kids like TFA, not the prequels.

He's a conservative asshole who kills hookers. Either he wouldn't notice, or he'd see it for the exploitation it is.

>conservative
Is he?

Yes? Backwards conservative redneck is the whole character.

I love this board.

Even if Plinkett's review had been exactly what everyone had wanted down to a tee, Cred Forums would still bitch and complain.

Probably because everyone on this board is 17 and think that "If I critique things it makes me look smart!"

Nothing about him strikes me as conservative. I think you're injecting politics into these reviews that aren't there.

I liked it. It was fine. Low on the commentary but there's really not that much to complain about. Prequels you can devote hours but not so much with TFA. It was more good than bad, no matter how much you meme.

TFA is a solid competent film so all you can really bitch about is how safe and focus tested it is

It was much more entertaining to bash the new wave of psuedointellectual prequelbabbies

>Even if Plinkett's review had been exactly what everyone had wanted down to a tee, Cred Forums would still bitch and complain.

Just like the prequels.

It's like pottery.

I'm surprised he didn't bring up the convenient plotting of the movie, which was my biggest problem with it. Stuff like R2 just happening to wake up just in time for the movie to end and Han just happening to be anywhere close to Jakku when he detects the Falcon.

More like sex in general. The interracial bit was just a coincidence.

>high five fellow shillman!

While I loved TFA, I really wanted to see Plinkett nitpick it apart. I'm disappointed he didn't.

riiight. mike patting himself on the back at least three separate times in the review is in no way valid criticism, we're just hateful people.

what bothers me is that he nitpicks realism and not plot related stuff.

Like he could have gone on a speel about Rey alone.

It's a shame we'll never get a The Force Awakens review, but that's life.

>Like he could have gone on a speel about Rey alone.

Rey complaints are from idiot video game players and frustrated virgins who think the Force is power levels and they're mad a girl is the hero because it reminds them of their own sexual inadequacy

Mike does not play video games nor is he a virgin

Prequelfags BTFO for eternity

I agree, women are little more than an object for men to conquer sexually to prove their worth.

This is as pathetic as that "Space Cop was supposed to be terrible" excuse.

>protagonist (?) has no flaws and the one fault she does have has been solved off screen with absolutely no story relevance in its solution

Stunning

I dont see shitting on the prequels as a problem

It's nothing like that though. It is objectively a fact that the purpose of this video is to examine Star Wars' current place in pop culture. It's the reason the video isn't called "THe Force Awakens review"

>look how many upboats I got. That's my argument :^)

reddit

so why does almost everyone love alien and aliens? when it comes to other sci-fi-brands we're suddenly all not just hateful mysogynists anymore? how come? :^)

I felt some of that too, I wondered why he didn't go over more of the weaknesses that she and finn had. In the end though I agreed with what he said about how there was nothing glaringly wrong about them or their role in the movie, all the biggest problems had to do with "missed opportunities", specifically that their motivation or role wasn't as strong as it could have been if they had played it less safe.

And yet, if the votes were overwhelmingly negative, Cred Forums would be posting that shit constantly.

It wouldn't be a problem except

1) he's already shit on the prequels (and did it perfectly)
2) he's shitting on dumb shit other shithead shitposted on the shitternet (shit)

>I can't argue my position so I have to use le upvotes from youtube.

Ok kid

Sounds like you don't get to grab pussy very often.

Fixed the image for you.

youtube votes are extremely slanted towards the positive. therefore, a positive score is not an automatic mark of quality, but a very negative score is extremely unusual. your argument is invalid.

Because aliens is a franchise that always had a female protagonist and therefore isn't seen as threatening to take away muh star wars for le sjw boogeyman

I'm dual wielding pussies right now cuckboy.

that would imply that people would have to see the whole franchise before they could form an opinion on part 1. you are fucking retarded.

But wasn't he hyping a plinkett FA review not a lame "Star Wars' current place in pop culture" video? That's why his fans feel cheated. He went on for more than half of the thing talking about some shitty ring theory no one gave a fuck about.

>a speel about Rey alone
it's a problem, but lesser than what Mike touched on; the real risk is a lack of originality and doing like Into darkness did

If I remember right, he said "new Plinkett review about Star Wars" but I'd love to see some user prove me wrong.

At any rate, I agree. I certainly wanted to see him Plinkett TFA (even though, as I said, I loved TFA).

Hatred for Rey is more motivated by outside context than any faults with the way the character is written, plus people are idiots and still don't understand kylo as a character

Go back to the teaser video from six months ago. It literally lays out everything the eventual video would be about, and it's not exclusively TFA.

people have never cared about gender that much in the first place, and the alien franchise (1979 ffs) is proof of that. everything else is a figment of your brainwashed psyche. please take your bullshit to reddit.

>But wasn't he hyping a plinkett FA review
Nope.
>youtube.com/watch?v=4sU7bsDhgxU

>That's why his fans feel cheated.
Because they didn't get something that they were never promised in the first place? Because they didn't get a video that's exactly like his previous videos? Thats pretty ironic considering that everyone's biggest complaint about TFA is that it was exactly like ANH.

What you're not fucking getting is that star wars was usually a male dominated franchise and now that a girl is the hero some virgins are raging because it's "not muh star wars it's pandering to ess Jay double (You)'s"

The prequel reviews had something called humor

This was just a rant

i get what you're saying, it's just that there is no merit to it. just look at fucking anime, nerds are the target group for muh stronk wimmins.

That video makes it look like he's gonna do a TFA review.

>mentions Lucas selling SW to Disney
>mentions idiotic millenials "rethinking" the prequels
>mentions the ring theory
>then mentions TFA
Are you fucking retarded? It lays out the entire thing.

they get more ads and I'm pretty sure paid more in general if they have a high view retention.

You literally have no idea what you're talking about.

Hey guys we are watching Space Cop in Eggkara, come join us

If I had shown you that video weeks ago, and asked you what the next video was going to be about, you'd have said TFA. In fact, quite a few anons were saying "where's the TFA review" for a while.

Knowing what you know now, it's easy to say it "lays out the entire thing."

>critique
>a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory.
>evaluate (a theory or practice) in a detailed and analytical way.

I'm just dissapointed that they went no where with the storm trooper defection plot.

I was hoping there would be a larger grey area in the movie, but I guess that's not kid friendly.

You're fucking delusion if you think kawaii uguu panty imouto magical girls made for the Sexual gratification of Otakus is "strong wimmenz"

I stopped watching after 20 min I thought it was fucking that bad

ehh, he made some decent points.

What's that? People (including you) are retarded?

This is truly a shocking development.

ring theory = anus

You're not really proving your point just calling people retards.

dubs mean get in here lads

Fans were expecting a proper review because that's what he had always done before not this lazy shit. Even when he did crystal skull he didn't spend half of it "reviewing" Indy's place in pop culture or some shitty darknet theory about how crystal skull was secretly brilliant. He gave a proper review because that was what was good about the whole plinkett routine.

You = retard is my only point. There is more than one other person in this thread.

I mean shit, you just confessed, without even a hint of shame, to watching a trailer for a fucking youtube review.

He liked the 2009 Star Trek, but still did a proper Plinkett review of it. In fact, he even does the whole "how we got from the other movies to this movie" thing, but only spends a couple minutes on that.

So saying "you should have expected it because the palpatine character brings it up" is just kind of silly. Hell, the Palpatine character brought up that dude's 100+ page reply to Plinkett's TPM review in one of the promos for their reviews. Did Plinkett talk about that at all? Nope.

>Everyone MUST be as retarded as me, right???

What your'e saying doesn't change anything though. RLM has never said they were doing a typical TFA review. Never. It's not their fault people (including me to be fair) jumped to conclusion.

Oh, you got me.

IT'S ON

What you're saying also doesn't change anything: some people wanted a TFA review. Instead, they got a shitty video. Of course they're not going to be happy with it.

they do with youtube red

Hey, you know what?

>I wanted them to shit on TFA but instead they shit on muh prequels more

Stop posting anytime

I liked the prequel reviews and wanted TFA to get the same treatment (even though I think TFA is a good movie). It's a disappointment that this didn't happen.

Would have been nice if the video they had made instead was good, but it wasn't really in my opinion.

So you're upset that he didn't do the exact same thing he's already done? But wasn't that the biggest complaint about TFA?

Hey remember when Plinkett made fun of people for wanting the exact same thing over and over again at the end of his Indiana Jones review?

>But wasn't that the biggest complaint about TFA?
From idiots, yeah.

>Hey remember when Plinkett made fun of people for wanting the exact same thing over and over again at the end of his Indiana Jones review?
Remember when he complained that things weren't similar enough in Indiana Jones (like the violence) and in the Star Wars prequels and the Star Trek movies?

>watch new Plinkett review
>surprised and mildly disappointed it's not just a Force Awakens review
>still laugh quite a big and overall enjoy it
>move on with my day
I'm genuinely sorry you're life is so empty that this is the kind of thing that gets you angry, user.

>still laugh quite a big and overall enjoy it
Hey, cool for you, but that wasn't my opinion.

>angry
I'm disappointed, as I said.

lol so butthurt

>my opinion
my experience*

Let me tell you about it.

Mike spent three reviews showing Anakin's characterization and motivations being shit...then he ignored how TFA butchered the beloved original heroes and turned them into incompetents who ignored the Empire after ROTJ and were such shitty parents and teachers that their offspring became the next Darth Vader.

You could do and entire review about how the movie shit all over Leia, Han, and Luke, but nope. Talk about the prequels and ring theory instead.

it didn't happen because it could not have happened.

TFA is as bland and inoffensive as a movie could be without just being 2 hours of blank film. There was nothing overtly retarded to rip into. There were no issues that people overlooked. There was no general sense of unease that, in time, faded, leaving only retards to screaming incoherently about how great it was.

The prequels were utterly abhorrent in every way, shape, and form, but people allowed their opinions of the original trilogy to cover for all of the prequels' complete and total failure.

TFA was a heavily test marketed cash-in that was designed first and foremost to offend no one, then somewhere in a distant second, be a movie. The only way to really criticize it is to criticize the shit around it. Like the sellout, the "prequels weren't shit" astroturfing, george lucas being impossibly retarded, etc.

People told you in almost all of your little RLM generals that another plinkett review could not have the same effect as the prequel reviews, because there simply isn't anything as utterly horrid as the prequels that people insist is great.

>being this buttblasted about RLM

>who ignored the Empire after ROTJ
The entire concept of the "resistance" in TFA is people not ignoring the empire after RotJ.

So mad.

>Luke fled to a backwater planet
>Han decided to go bacl to being a smuggler

Yeup they weren't ignoring them

the worst part isn't even that he got sidetracked with this stupid "ring theory" - the worst part is how blatantly he is pushing his own ego.

whole parts of the review are only there to underline how very fucking important mike "maybe if i suck up to jew jew abraham they'll let me carry cables in hollywood" stoklasa is and how he - in his own words - "revolutionized the way people review movies".

part of me thinks he's also doing that because he secretly still hopes to become an actual director. it is beyond pathetic.

RLM's only attempts at making serious, well-crafted movies were completely ignored by the world and even most of their own fanbase, and everything after 2006 has been "sarcastic".

i really like HitB and BotW, but tearing apart other peoples work without ever successfully creating something on your own (unless you count the 30 or so minutes of plinkett scenes) and simultaneously branding yourself the hottest shit since sliced bread is just really pathetic.

if your best non-sarcastic work looks like THIS (youtube.com/watch?v=Dc18ldOckdI), just keep on making fun of hollywood-movies, but please don't try to pretend you could ever make a decent one on your own if you just had the budget.

tl;dr : the lack of humility, both from mike and jay, pisses me off more than the actual plinkett video. they create silly internet videos, not art.

No, he could have easily nitpicked it, even though it was a good movie. He even says in the review he made that he could nitpick. I remember because I was like "yeah, that's what I want."

But if he couldn't do it, he shouldn't have brought back the character. He could have just talked about Star Wars Ring Theory outside of the Plinkett character if that's what he wanted to do.

Just an odd, disappointing choice to bring back Plinkett for a video that's not really a Plinkett review.

You've been samefagging this theory that the new review is meant to inflate Mike's ego in every RLM thread for days now and it's so projecting and over the top that it's hilarious.

>luke tries to train jedi
>fails horribly and bails

>han is easily distracted

>leia runs a paramilitary organization to keep tabs on the empire
>fails due to lack of resources

How can you have a problem with this?

He's lost his touch, Half in the Bag took its toll

>TLDR I'm legitimately autistic

He's right, though.

You should apply for a job at a movie theater because you're a master of projection.

Whoa! Do you write for Marvel movies?

How hard could it have been for Leia to have gotten a probe droid to snap photos of the new massive Death Star and show them to the New Republic? Her entire Resistance organization was a farce.

Wait. Hold on.

are you trying to say plinkett's prequel reviews were nitpicking?

The prequel reviews addressed hordes of fundamental flaws that crippled the narrative and were completely at odds with what star wars had been up until the point lucas had full creative control.

The review itself makes the point there's a hundred different retarded fuckwit youtube reviewers if all you want is "phasma's helmet wasn't aligned in this scene, *DING*"

youtube.com/watch?v=hGnqDckKFr0

Of course you are. Er, I mean of course HE is.

>are you trying to say plinkett's prequel reviews were nitpicking?
They absolutely are. They even call what he does "nitpicking" in his Episode II review.

>pointing out that the entire structure of a film is non existent and there are no fleshed out characters is nitpicking
Sure thing, faggot.

It is pretty hard to get pictures of something you don't know exists and have little reason to think exists.

For all she knew, the first order was nothing but a pack of niggers (with her son as second in command) squatting in a retrofitted star destroyer they managed to salvage, running around looking for jedi and abducting kids for child soldiering.

Not to mention her son being such a key figure would make it pretty goddamn hard to convince anyone in a lazy bourgeois republic that she's objectively correct about the first order being a threat.

Of course he is.

Jesus it didn't occur to me until the last post to read it bottom to top. Twitter is fucking stupid

Plinkett, by their own admission, nitpicks the movies.

everything is upside down in backwards in a world where the internet is mainstream.

Yeah. He should have just made a 30 minute TFA review so you fags can bitch on the internet about how short it is.

Parts of his reviews are nitpicking, mainly for comedic effect. But the larger issues like story structure, characters, scene blocking, visual effects etc are not nitpicks.

>they admit to nitpicking therefore all they do is nitpicking

... it feels like I woke up one day and suddenly everyone was retarded.

Holy shit, bro, you're a fucking idiot.

Nah, just you.

>"he doesn't nitpick!"
>"well, okay, he does nitpick sometimes"
Okay then.

He should have just done the matrix trilogy like they've been teasing for ages now. TFA didn't need a review

I never said he doesn't nitpick. You're saying all he does is nitpick. You are wrong.

...

TFA didn't get a review.

>You're saying all he does is nitpick
I said he nitpicks, and he does.

Never said "all he does is nitpick." You're wrong.

>clawshrimpy
lmao
t. /m/

To be fair a minute in he says he's reviewing the star wars landscape as a whole

>hey, i told you i was going to serve you a shit sandwich, therefore you must eat it and say it's delicious!

Is that Kurt Metzger?

>get told that you're getting a shit sandwich
>get served a shit sandwich
>eat it
>WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU SERVE ME THIS SHIT SANDWICH, FALSE ADVERTISING REEEEEEEEEEEEE

Think he just wants hollywood to get off the fence and just do it. If you're seriously gonna argue he's paid to promote some fucking agenda you're an absolute moron.

>CLAWSHRIMPY
Muh GaoGaiGar

D A M A G E C O N T R O L
A
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C
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Found it kinda stupid how George and Josh were apparantly "about to kill" Plinkett for like 45 minutes. Made no sense in the reviews plot at all.

ywn use that hammock as a sex swing

I'm talking about the people complaining about it not being about TFA enough mainly but okay

...

how can people even defend the prequels? Is it really just nostalgia or what?

...

>defending a Mary Sue character
get out

I think I get what he's saying. The Plinkett character and review format should be saved for tearing aapart only the most atrocious movies because that's what these excel at.