Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt...

Han, did I ever tell you how we saved you from Jabba the Hutt? We sent a rich politician away to go undercover as a mob boss grunt for like a week, I guess no imperial agents noticed him missing. Could have also been easily recognized by someone in Jabba's posse (Boba Fett for instance) and killed. We also sent in our strongest warrior as a prisoner, even though he might just be instantly destroyed. I also sent in our droids as a cheap gift, totally unequal to your life. I also put my only weapon inside on of the droids, on the off-chance you might be on a barge in the middle of the desert and the droid might be in a position to shoot my lightsabre to me. If Jabba accepted my offer, then I would have lost my lightsabre forever. I also sent my sister in disguised as a bounty hunter, to pretty much openly threaten Jabba with a grenade for some reason. Finally, I went in myself completely unarmed, to attempt to use a cheap trick on Jabba. It didn't work and I was almost killed by a Rancor. We were all captured, but we were all shipped out into the middle of the desert, where everyone was perfectly placed to help me rescue you. Luckily, no-one was killed or even harmed before we got to the desert, or the whole thing wouldn't have worked. You are a good friend.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=fgyyBLrYgC0
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tissue
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Water
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Shirt
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

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Is this a Luke thread?

Rey, did I ever tell you about Greedo? He was a bounty hunter that was hired by a hutt because I didn't give him a fair share of the smuggling money. Right when I was about to take a senile old man and a farmer's nephew on a dangerous mission to save a princess from a galactic dictator, Greedo put a gun on me and fired it, but I was quck enough to move my neck at a speed faster than the blast from Greedo's gun and dodged a blast. I then used my blaster and shot him right there on the spot. I latter herd that he was a good friend of the farmer's nephew's father.

Plan really makes no sense, but the scene was pretty cool. ROTJ is a great movie, despite its blatant flaws.

do people on this sight really have the brain cells to read all of that??? god thank god i cant

It's worth it. Just concentrate and take your time. You'll thank me.

Don't forget that Greedo and Anakin grew up together
youtube.com/watch?v=fgyyBLrYgC0

When I was little I had a crush on Mark Hamill and then everyone in my family made fun of me for it

Lando was already on the run at that point though. Did you miss that part in empire where he evacuates Cloud City and defects to the rebellion?

Luuke, did I ever tell you about breasts? They were the mammary glands of mammalian species. During the Age of the Empire, Thane Kyrell's petulant older brother Dalven Kyrell disparaged Thane's friend Ciena Ree and suggested that his younger brother go after another girl who had breasts already. Enraged by Dalven's discourteous remarks, Thane punched him before being pulled apart by their parents Oris and Ganaire Kyrell.

literally the last line, you dumb faggot

Luke did i ever tell you about that after you were born it was decided that leia should go live in comfort as a princess, while I took you to go live in some horrible desert planet full of savages and crooks. And that after 18 years I wouldn't tell you a thing about the force and your father, until leia happened to send a message for help to me that would get intercepted by greedy robot salesmen; later they would sell the robot containing the message to your uncle unless the robot that he was about to buy didn't explode suddenly after he had just purchased it? He was a good friend.

awww! :3

where should i put leia?
>alderaan royal family
where should i put luke
>hmmm. how about the planet where his dad grew up?

Should end with
>he was a good shot

Putting him on tattooine is a bit silly but obi wan says he will look after the boy

Did I ever tell you about chairs? They come in many shapes and styles, some can even hover! They are good furniture

Has this meme gone stale already?

Poifect.

It's in its lull. Few more good pastas I imagine.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about that Rodian who Mr. Solo killed in self-defense at the Cantina was one of your father's childhood friends?

>Luke, did I ever tell you C-3PO, who was built by your father, Darth Vader, while stranded on the planet of Nim Drovis, auditioned to perform at a cantina called the Wookiee's Codpiece. C-3PO performed by playing back songs stored in his memory core with his vocabulator. The assistant manager of the establishment told the droid that he sounded like a festering jizz-box and rejected him, saying the Codpiece already had a jizz-box to play.
>They were all good friends
>Also, turn off your targeting computer

He could have looked after him on a planet that wasn't a dump.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about how your father hated sand? That's why I hid you on the sandiest planet in the galaxy.

It's a reference to the fact that wookiepedia has a page about breasts for some reason
>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast

>Luuke
I see what you did there

To br fair, putting Luke on Tatooine with his aunt and uncle is literally so dumb and predictable that Vader wouldn't even think Obi-Wan would do that. It's brilliants.

GwahhGwaa,
gwhaww wghaww hghahwwww ghagwh ghaww? ghmm qhhhwaq hf mmmf qwahhhh gmmmmnnff ggmmmf wohhhmmm whhhmmmm gmffffff gwahhh gwmmmgaaghhhhh mmmmmf wahht wahhhtma grammmmmmggph wooouuuumm wum ghhham ghahiw fammgwwrrawwwlllmph grmmmmph gwphhaam.

Wookiepedia has a ton of weird pages that aren't relevant to the Star Wars universe. See:

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tissue
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Water
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Shirt

Why did Obiwan raise him in secret and train him in the force from birth?

Imagine how powerful Luke would have been if he had been raised a Jedi? Was Obiwan just lazy?

>if jabba accepted my offer I would of lost y light saber forever

For such a small galaxy EVERYONE seems to know each other.

Luke did I ever tell you the Empire nationalized commerce in the central systems?

>Luke: "I give you my lightsaber as a gift for Han."
>Jabba: "Thanks, i'll take it. Here's your Han."
>Luke: "Uh, okay... uh, thanks." Luke says looking around confused, scratching the back of his head as Jabbas men load Han onto a speeder as Leia and Lando make annoyed expressions at look trying to stop him as he uncomfortably walks out, looking back at them apologetically.

>later
>Han: "Thanks kid you really saved my neck. Where Leia?"
>Luke: "..."

>OT fans will defend this
>they will pretend it's not just as if not more retarded than anything in the prequels

Luke, did I ever tell you about Hayden Christensen? He was about one year old when we shot this scene.

Actually, most things in the prequels can be explained.

Hahaha, this caught me off guard.

>Rey, did I ever tell you about the map to the place I was hiding?
>put down the saber and listen
>I made a map to the planet I was going just in case someone needed to find me in case of emergencies
>but then I broke it into pieces so no one could find me without the other pieces
>I mean I know it's an emergency but I wanted whomever was looking for me to REALLY look for me
>part was with some guy no one has ever heard of but my nephew found it anyway
>one of the pieces was inside my best friend Artoo, who was my astromech for 40 years. He was also my fathers. And he's the reason I ever met my sister
>any way, no one opened him up to get the map to me out but then he woke up randomly for no reason at the end of the movie
>and that's how you found me

you missed the part where the whole thing was an excuse so he could get to see his SISTER show off her hot sexy body and be stripped and humiliated sexually infront of a bunch of gangsters

stop being creepy

His sister was the first woman he ever kissed. He'll always compare the other bitches to her.

This thread is why I still come here.

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