During the war I cut off all of your father's limbs, burned him to a crisp and left him to die

During the war I cut off all of your father's limbs, burned him to a crisp and left him to die.

He was a good friend

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=_2UNDRh3Oy0
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Pornography
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Why didn't Obi Wan or Look bring any fap material when they left Tatooine? They didn't really plan on coming back so...

But user, if Ben did not lie to Luke we would have seen a Kylo Ren earlier. Perhaps he knew that madness was in the blood

Maybe Obi Wan had some VERY good friends. You know, the type of good friend that will slob on your knob once in a while?

Heck why don't you also tell him that Darth Vader is his father and his other twin enjoyed living as a royalty you senile old man

>inb4 59 years old

Luke, let me tell you about breasts.

Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species. During the Age of the Empire, Thane Kyrell's petulant older brother Dalven Kyrell disparaged Thane's friend Ciena Ree and suggested that his younger brother go after another girl who had breasts already. Enraged by Dalven's discourteous remarks, Thane punched him before being pulled apart by their parents Oris and Ganaire Kyrell.

They were good friends.

Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

Keyword: WAS

Actually it's 57.

25 in TPM. 35 in AOTC, 38 in ROTS, and 19 years between III and IV.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Jizz-boxes? jizz-box was a musical device. In 13 ABY, the protocol droid C-3PO, who was stranded on the planet of Nim Drovis, auditioned to perform at a cantina called the Wookiee's Codpiece. C-3PO performed by playing back songs stored in his memory core with his vocabulator. The assistant manager of the establishment told the droid that he sounded like a festering jizz-box and rejected him, saying the Codpiece already had a jizz-box to play. It was a good box.

Nice pasta

youtube.com/watch?v=_2UNDRh3Oy0

But he didn't fight Anakin - he fought Darth Vader.
Darth Vader didn't care about Luke, and you can't really call him Luke's father.
In the end, Luke managed to bring Anakin back.

>But he didn't fight Anakin - he fought Darth Vader.

Clever usage of point of views.

Is this a real entry like Chair?

It was Lucas's way of hiding the father reveal.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
And table

It's not just about pov.
Your personality defines who you are. Even if your body was switched with someone else, your family and friends would treat you the same after getting over the initial shock.
Anakin was possessed by the dark side of the force. He was no longer the person he used to be.

>someone's personality/religious view changes
>"LOL NOT THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE"

Anakin wasn't possessed by anything, he just had a dark side in him that he chose to act on.

No it actually makes sense in the fantasy realm Star Wars resides in. Lucas has stated that the dark side is like an addiction, and it takes over anyone who get addicted to it. It warps their mind in terrible ways and changes them completely. If we were talking about reality you would have a point, but don't try to pretend Star Wars is rooted in reality.

Luke did I ever tell you about how billions of people died because of me? I had the chance to kill your father and the Emperor thus ending the Empire but I just hid in a cave for 20 years watching you
I am a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster? He was a fat, disgusting slob with a George Lucas-esque goiter who owned a 1950's-styled space diner on Coruscant. Somehow, despite his appearance and lowly occupation, he was able to identify a poison dart as originating from a planet called Kamino, which is so secret and unknown that it wasn't even listed in the Jedi archives. After that, I never saw him again. He was a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the C-3PO? C-3PO was built by your father, Darth Vader, before he killed bunch of kids with this lightsaber I am about to give you.

>Luke did I ever tell you how I will make $300 million from Star Wars and you will make about $100k?
>George is a good friend.

>Mace Window

Shut the fuck up nerd wanna be, go back to r

>"Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I rode Boga, the large lizard-like female varactyl? During my search for General Grievous on Utapau, I found myself in a need of a mount. So I visited an area of pens where the Pau'an natives kept varactyls. And I took from them savages one of those inconspicuous huge bright screaming dragons instead of any other more advanced transport vehicle we had at our hands at the time. The fucker couldn't even fly like the majority of our vehicles so we both got blasted hard during Order 66. It's probably dead who knows lmao. I was a mediocre friend."

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Turks? They were not good friends.

How do you know they didn't?

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Pornography

One of my absolute favorites.

>started rebellion against turks just to make himself more powerful
>the turks are the bad guys

Has it become a meme by this point that whenever this pasts is posted, multiple people have to post and say they love it?

It's just a layered meme. Like baneposting but not quite as intoxicating

>Star Wars Holiday Special (First Appearance)
Fucking wook

Ben what's the 50's?

>It's probably dead who knows lmao. I was a mediocre friend.

>Luke! Wake up, Luke! Did I ever tell you about breasts?

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast

Fifty (50) was the fiftieth in a sequence of -> numbers used across the ->galaxy to count things such as ->dooku. It was typically encountered following the number 49 while at the same time preceding the number 51. Of all known numbers, 66 is the most infamous due to its obvious connection to ->Order 66. It was a bad number.

>tfw Ben threads always have the same shit every time

i need some new content guys

get on it

I've tried several variations on it but it seems people only buy the original.

guess it's time for me to check out wookiepedia

>Luke.
>Luke, wake up.
>There is something important I have to make sure you're aware of, it cannot wait.
>Did I ever tell you about jizz? Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Subgenres of jizz included the styles of jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, the music form jatz was reminiscent of, or in some ways similar to jizz. Other notable jizz bands included Bobolo Baker's All-Bith Band, Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers, Hutt, Figrin D'an II and the New Modal Nodes, and The Sozzenels. A popular musical instrument used to play jizz was the jizz-box. In 13 ABY, the protocol droid C-3PO, a good friend of mine, who was stranded on the planet of Nim Drovis, auditioned to perform at a cantina called the Wookiee's Codpiece. C-3PO performed by playing back songs stored in his memory core with his vocabulator. The assistant manager of the establishment told the droid that he sounded like a festering jizz-box and rejected him, saying the Codpiece already had a jizz-box to play.
>Now sleep Luke, you must rest in order to take down the Death Star in a few hours.

> I had the chance to kill your father and the Emperor
That's bullshit, when did he have chance to kill the emperor? And killing Anakin wouldn't changed much, empire didn't rely solely on Darth Vader.

>Look
I don't know why this spelling mistake made me, but i keked pretty hard for some reason. Thanks.

>MWAHHHHH
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Paul Masson?
>The Corellian starpilots have always been renowned for their excellence.
>There is a Corellian starpilot that gave his life for the republic.
>And like all good friends, he was captured by the empire and fermented in carbonite.
>Did I mention he was vintage dated?
>...Luke?

>Has it become a meme by this point that whenever this pasts is posted, multiple people have to post and say they love it?

No, they're all new

People post here for a day or two, realize it's shit, and leave

...