"I'm rubber you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

>"I'm rubber you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

The jerk store called

>I know you are but what am I?

>i'm sorry, it seems my headphones stopped working. could you repeat the joke?

"No more dreams, Ornella"
"Pardon?"
"I said no more dreams, Ornella. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been in France a long time. They didn't go up here and tell you. I don't show up in wet dreams anymore."
"Détendez-vous, ça va? Vous devenez fou facilement, ce qui ce qui vous prend?Je suis briser vos boules un peu, voilà tout. Je plaisante avec vous..."
"Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around..."
"Je plaisante avec vous, nous allons avoir une entrevue, je suis juste venu travailler et je ne vous ai pas vu depuis longtemps et je suis briser vos boules, et vous obtenez putain frais. Je suis désolé, je ne voulais pas vous offenser."
"I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem."
"Okay, salud."
(...)
"Maintenant, rentrez chez vous et amenez vos amis DiCaprio et Brad Pitt."
"MOTHERFUCKING CUNT!!! YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!"
"Ouais, ouais, ouais, viens, viens, viens!"

>Oh yeah? Thats cool, now hear my fantasy
>I for instance recently met the Wu-Tang Clan
>I heard one of their songs was called "Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin to fuck wit"
>More like, Wu-Tang Clan AIN'T NUTHIN TO KEK WIT!
>Like seriously! They absolutely ravaged my wife's dripping cunt hole, I slurped up the cum from her pussy after everyone of them defiled her!
*Crowd begins to cheer as all white males in the crowd are beaten*
>I mean it's only my duty isn't it!? Whites LITERALLY invented slavery and everything bad in the world!
*All the white females in the crowd are now being raped while the white males are being forced to watch and suck BBCs*
>MY DAUGHTER SHOULD LITERALLY GET RAPED BY BLACK COCK!
>NOW FOR OUR SPECIAL GUESTS, THE RZA, THE GZA, OLD DIRTY BASTARD, INSPECTAH DECK, RAEKWON THE CHEF, U-GOD, GHOSTFACE KILLAH AND THE METHOD MAN!
*Wu-Tang Clan storm on stage with their cocks hanging out, Louis is already on his knees sucking off ODB while RZA starts rapping*
>THERE'S NO PLACE TO HI-HIDE WHEN I SLIP INSI-HIDE THE WOMB... DOCTOR DOOM, PREPARE FOR THE BOOM!... OH MAN... I SLAM... YOUR MAM! NOW WATCH HER CREAM LIKE TARZAAAAN!
*Jonah is now being raped by Ghostface as he sucks off M E T H O D Maaaan and Masta Killa

>She repeats it but know ridiculing Jonah even more
>Everyone laughs harder than first time

What would he say?

*now

I never thought anyone would ever come up with a suitable comeback but I was wrong.

>it's another French Skank vs the Fat Jew- episode
Truly the shining example of degeneracy in our times.

>tfw no gf

...

mwuaaaah the french

I miss this meme.

>Tss suck my fawkin pecka while I lick your coota lips

*teleports behind you*
*grabs you by the pussy*
Tsk...nothing personnel

>"...that's what I thought..."

>"Eh, you're not pretty enough for me and you think you have a shot with them? Really? "

Imagine being so offended by one comment by a french weathergirl you stop filming a show, leave the studio, get into your chauffeur driven car, take it all the way back to the hotel, get your publicist to cancel all your interviews, cancel all signings and autograph and fan meets, cancel all appearances with your co-star too, book a ticket back to america, get on the plane the very next day and leave the country and get back home and go to Subway in LAX and order two 2 footlong meatball marinara subs and then get driven back home while eating one of the subs to then call up Brad Pitt only to hear him beating his black and asian children so you put the phone down and finish the rest of the other sub and call Pizza hut instead who is just listed as The Hut in your cellphone to order a Jonah Special and when your agent calls you wondering what the fuck happened you tell him all about the french woman who said she'd rather have sex with Leonardo Dicaprio than you and so you left the entire country and crossed an ocean just to get away from her.

...

That's nice. Now let me tell you about my sexual fantasy...

Ornella is the real victim here

>The jokes on you: I'm a pedophile

>Je suis briser vos boules un peu

nice

dafuq is this all about?

What would you have done?

...

>..haha, yeah..*small beta laughter*

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. Seth Rogen likes me. My fans like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.

>there are actually people that will repost their comments
>there are people actually serious about getting people to read their comebacks

I get a fat depressed subway jew?

Hill seems definitely the kind of guy who jumps to opportunities to laugh at other people.

THE JERK STORE CALLED

you must be harveys squeeze

What are we doing here in this thread?

Discovering how bad we are at witty comebacks

>"Well that's all well and good for a fantasy, Madame, but I know Messrs Pitt and Clooney personally and can assure you they are both in committed relationships with wonderful women and would never debase themselves, their partners, and you by carrying on in such a manner. Nor would I find myself alone in a hotel room with an unchaperoned woman, not even for the wonderful conversation you describe. So your fantasy is precisely that: a fantasy, and a crude one at that. Good day to you Madame, good day to you Madame."

>*pulls out glock*..." Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

>I can make that happen, they owe me a favor anyway.

...

>my ears stopped working, one more time?

MAD

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you fucking bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my acting class in Hollywood, and I’ve been involved in numerous Seth Rogen movies in Hollywood, and I have over 300 million dollars. I am trained in acting and I’m the top paid actor in Superbad. You are nothing to me but just another TV host. I will wipe you in my fucking ass, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on live broadcast? Think again, bitch. As we speak I am texting Leo and Brad, you dumb bitch. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little show you called Le Grand Journal. You’re fucking done, bitch. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can end your show you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my phone. Not only am I extensively trained in interviews, but I have access to top dogs who run Hollywood and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable show off the face of the world, you stupid bitch. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking show's dead, bitch.

...