When is he getting a comeback like Keanu?

>“We were in rehearsals for Executive Decision. I’m playing his Master Sargeant and we come in for rehearsals and he says, ‘I’m in command. Everything I say is law. Anybody doesn’t agree?’ I was like, ‘Bwahahaha.’ I started cracking up because he sounded like a retard and he came up and he Taekwondo’ed my ass against the brick and he [hit me with his elbow],” Leguizamo recalled.

wtf I love the Pest now

How can one man be so based?

Also note that Seagal's father was a Russian-Mongol who was a distant relative of Genghis Khan

>75212933

>a distant relative of Genghis Khan
how many distant relatives can be of Genghis Khan...

but yes i see the eyes of the Khan in Seagul

>the world's toughest man chocked him out so hard he shit himself

Funny how Seagal used to play charaters who were Vietnam vets in his early movies and now he plays operators who fought in Afghanistan and Iraq

youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo

I guess what they say is true.

>When will he get his 'John Wick' movie?
More like John Thick amirite

>*rolls through set on trolley*

he cant be beat for authenticity and realism

Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in New York. I was schooled in tactical shooting. I was given the title of Baba Yaga. They take a movie “John Wick”. They have a 6-foot-1-inch big guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Italy. He doesn’t speak JItalian. He has never held an assault rifle. They make him John Wick. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

Steven Seagal was one of the most outstanding warriors this country has ever produced. He was brilliant and outstanding in every way. And he was a good man too. Humanitarian man, man of wit, of wicked sense of humor.

He joined the CIA. After that, his ideas, methods, have become unsound...

Now he's crossed to Russia with his Slavic fans, who worship the man like a god, and follow every order however ridiculous.

Because there's a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil.The good does not always triumph. Every man has got a breaking point. You and I have. Steve Seagal has reached his. And very obviously, he has gone insane

Your mission is to proceed up to Moscow in a charter flight. Pick up Lord Stevens path at the Red Square, follow it, learn what you can along the way.

When you find the God, infiltrate his fans by whatever means available and terminate the Stevens career.

terminate with extreme prejudice

he will be the final boss in John Wick 3: Wicker than ever.

that guy isnt seagal

I know this is pasta about Tom Cruise but still: if he don't care whether he's straight or gay why bring it up in the first place?

khan had so many children that its theorized around 30% of the planet might be his descendants

Between Kahn and Charlemagne every single woman on earth must have dicked by one of them.

can someone dump those stupid steven seagal webms from his recent films?

reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/4i0jso/i_am_actor_steven_seagal_live_from_thailand_ama/

>tfw you'll never be able to wail on blues guitar like Based Steven

...

>When is he getting a comeback like Keanu?

Dude, Exit Wounds was his comeback and he blew it.

It's nowhere near that high

youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM

...

Imagine being Chris in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Steven, you fuckin' cool, all badass with your flabby body and horrific greasy monster face. I would totally be buddy cops with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is smoke another joint in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Chris and not only stand still in the middle of the street while Steven Seagal flings a disgusting, badly bruised body in front of you, the jump cuts barely concealing his stretchmarks and leather jacket, and just stand there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that throw. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, STEVEN SEAGAL FIGHTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch his newest defenestration victim skip back and forth in time into types of continuities you didn't even know were possible before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of hoes and groupies and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the suburbs in New Orleans. You've never even seen anything this fucking physically impossible before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his bulging stomach as he sucks it in to flex it imposingly at the camera, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in his "stevenesque (for that is what he calls it)" fighting style, the style he worked so hard on with the greatest masters in Japan in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this street before the studio security could put you down, but you stand there and endure, because you're fucking Chris Thomas King. You're not going to lose your future blues career over this. Just bear it. Contort your face and bear it.

>How can one man be so based?
>How can one man be so base?
>How can one man be so obase?
>How can one man be so obese?

Is that oral herpes?

He needs to get in shape, take some HGH and then just do out for justice 2.

>khan had so many children
myth

He already got it with Machete

What is it with Seagal and the laws of physics?

youtube.com/watch?v=EJ0nsaABbDo
youtube.com/watch?v=vV9Xmp90iqU

He got it from one of his Punanies

You have to be gone to make a comeback

He's making more kino than ever right now

Who is better shooter Steven Seagal or Jerry Miculek?

I'd put my money on Steven

youtube.com/watch?v=Gn4d-UqPVN4
youtube.com/watch?v=WzHG-ibZaKM

Holy fuck is he really on a fucking trolley?

he needed to preserve his enegery for the stairway scene

KEK

>two watches

its all muscle. would an obese man able to do these neat aikido tricks?

youtube.com/watch?v=USUbB-kg6P4
youtube.com/watch?v=NO_PwY5cEe4

dude the bulge are his balls

pls post more

what the fuck

ehh, mussa take a wrong turna albakoykie

*throws you into wall*

He's launching a 2020 Presidential bid

Seagal is a god and therefore not eligible to run for presidency

Youstillsoreaboutthatfiftybucks?

...

subconsciously his own insecurities come out by trying to insult the cruise

>that horrible beard dye

Seagal should become Serbia's new president

...

I love how laid back and lazy he looks doing that. He's just kind of leaning against the wall and sliding along while one arm is down at his side.

>My CIA godfather told me he'd never heard any American speak Japanese so well. I would say I was a prime candidate to be recruited

>You can say that I lived in Asia for a long time and in Japan I became close to several CIA agents," he said, choosing his words carefully. "And you could say that I became an adviser to several CIA agents in the field and, through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful people and did special works and special favors.

>Seagal spoke freely about his involvement in security operations for the Shah of Iran when he was deposed in 1979: "We helped set up safe houses in London and Paris so the Shah and his family could flee the country. We also were aiding members of the Shah's family, who were under the threat of death from Kakahili, Ayatollah Khomeini's killing judge.

if you haven't yet check out leguizamo's one man show he did like a year ago. he covers is in a bit and it's still funny. also one man show was pretty fucking great but I've always loved the pest.

Post the
>I got 500,000 emails asking why I wasn't cast
One

>Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised by CIA. I was schooled in counter-terrorism. I was given the title of Operative. They take a movie “Taken.” They have a 6-foot-4-inch little guy, whether he was Irish or American, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to overseas operations. He doesn’t speak fluently 8 languages. He has never held a gun. They make him the Taken?. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

digitalspy.com/movies/news/a574515/steven-seagal-blasts-liam-neeson-hes-not-an-action-movie-guy/

He's busy teaching UFC champions how to kick.

Why is he so great?

youtube.com/watch?v=UcNgrp2Ftew
youtube.com/watch?v=PyrCqg6DvRM

>dat plot

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS OUT

Under Siege 3 is happening. That will be his comeback.

why is he beating his own soldiers up? doesn't he love america?

They were just marines. CIA operator like Seagal eats marines for breakfast.

He doesn't deserve a comeback, you know who does? Jean-Claude Van Damme, he deserves a comeback redemption movie.

But that was JCVD, where have you been ?

He is literally a kino actor now.

>boat
>train
What mode of transport will be Under Seige this time?

>#JustACook
tfw porn has better action stars than Hollywood.

>Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was trained by the CIA. I invented the CQC. I was given the title of Master. They take a video game “Metal Gear Solid V.” They have a 5-foot-7-inch little guy, whether he was Canadian or American, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been a mercenary. He doesn’t speak fluently 8 languages. He has never held a M1911A1. They make him the Metal Gear Solid?. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from gamers all over the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the game and didn’t buy it. It’s just a classic example of Hideo and the politics.

Russian space transport

the film ends with Ryback killing terrorists on the ISS

Is there a more unlikeable movie "star" than Segal? He seems to piss off everyone he talks to. he's the A-Rod of acting

John Thick

WHAT ARE THESE FROM!? I MUST KNOW. SOMEBODY PLEASE FUCKING TELL ME.

Steven Seagal - The quintessential meme actor if there ever was one