It's a Callisto episode

>this will make me famous right

They look pretty tangled.

who is on the other side of the wall?

G*d?

I thoroughly enjoyed Xena dragging her by her horse after her son was killed.

EVEN THOUGH I WAS LITERALLY IMPREGNATED WITH THE SPAWN BY SATAN HIMSELF, ITS STILL MY CHILD SO HOPE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE EVIL!

or this one:

I BETRAYED YOU TO AN EMPEROR THAT YOU APPARENTLY THOUGHT WAS SO INCREDIBLY EVIL THAT HE NEEDED TO BE ASSASSINATED IMMEDIATELY

I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD IT'S OKAY HE PROMISED NOT TO HURT YOU WAIT WHY ARE YOU TAKING HER TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER?

tfw you realize Gabrielle was the Lisa Simpson of the Bronze Age

>it's a greatest love story ever told episode

Any news on the reboot yet? Sick of waiting for this shit.

>evil Xena

with any luck it gets stuck in development hell and never sees the light of day

I'm watching Xena for the first time on Netflix. I want Lucy lawless to choke me with her strong theighs.

Christ almighty.

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same here

That was brutal but that whole episode turned into the trippiest scariest thing ever

>angelic hosts singing and dancing

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

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S-Sauce...

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"Denial" also titled "Something About Sex" from 1997.

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most fapworthy episode of Hercules, by far

Iolaus was a moron though, should have decided which goddess was the best by sampling their wares personally

HBO should do a Hercules/Xena reboot. My childhood nostalgia boner will be appeased with softcore porn scenes.

Pretty sure she's the reason why I have a thing for blondes.

no need to reboot, just a continuation.

lucy lawless is still hot as fuck

she's the reason I have a thing for unhinged yandere types

>she will never be your psychotically obsessed stalker
why live

a Xena reboot is already planned, and apparently they will dress more conservatively, Xena and Gabrielle with be in an open lesbian relationship, and no doubt there will be plenty "muh feminism" shoehorned into it

Cross your fingers and pray it never makes it to principal photography

>dat perfect skank blonde look
good casting

she's still hot but nowhere close to her prime, and considering the the physical demands for the role she isn't up to it. She's said as much, she's down for a TV special or miniseries but refuses to return for a full series.

>that episode where her and ares become mortal

>something smells fishy
>I haven't gotten used to this whole hygiene thing yet

The Quill is Mightier, great episode

those barbarians Gabrielle summons are hilarious

pls post more lewd lucy

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>that episode where ares hides out in xena's childhood farm and hilarity ensues

The GOAT

The fan service and writing was top notch.

God fucking dammit. Which pornstar best resembles Lucy Lawless? Or, specifically, Xena?

What's your problem, you don't wanna see Xena having the lesbian sex she deserves? You a faggot or what?

not sure, but there is a Xena porn parody, Phoenix Marie isn't that great a Xena though. The long whorish nails and big fake tits kinda ruins the look

I don't give a shit about PG sex scenes where we probably won't even see anything

The original show has plenty of fap material as it is, and no one can replace Lucy Flawless

Just watch her sex scenes in Spartacus

Since when was Lucy so british?

Isn't she a kiwi?

>british
She's a New Zealander

She's a kiwi you dumbass.

Oh man! Here it comes!
The fucking deluge. Contrarian hipster faglords posting about how much it sucks. Conformist normie pieces of shit posting about how great it is. Trolls, waifufags, and newfriends doing God knows what.
You know what I miss? The good old days.
Days when a Memesman was free to make an honest day's meme on this board.
Days when there was a difference between trolling and shitposting (back when trolling was a art ;)).
Days when you could hop on the Cred Forums, click on your favorite board, and be treated to a veritable orgy of dank new memes, thrusting in and out of each other, slurping down each others liquids, furiously jamming their memenises into their memeginas and memeholes, not bothering to discriminate between male or female (it was the 21st century, after all)!
You could sit there and let your eyes take in this gallant fuckfest, you could almost here the wet, slippery sounds of meme flesh pounding against itself. It was enough to make you pull your pants down, lube up your dildo, and bounce up and down on it as you jacked yourself to orgasm.
One day we'll get back there. One day...

The eyes remind me of a guy I knew in highschool. Yeah, I assfucked him. Why are you asking?
Did you seriously think even for a moment that this story wasn’t going to end with me fucking his ass? We’re obviously not working on a level of mutual respect here.
You see a fine ass like that, clothed or unclothed, you’re going to find a way to fuck it. You’ll figure out a way to lure it away from all the other asses in your classes. You’ll devise a plan to trap it in the locker room with you, watch it quiver a while in fear. You’ll relish pulling the pants and then underpants off of that ass, and then gently easing yourself into its puckered hole. You’ll cherish the memory of the long strokes you take, in and out of that ass, slowly working your way to climax. You’ll lose your mind in ecstasy as you climax deep into that ass, and then keep fucking it, pumping your own cum out of that ruined colon.
Anyways she’s a 6/10

DELETE THIS XENA IS A PURE

nice pasta

But it's literally been explained in interviews how the reboot will be an SJW's wet dream. You can look it up yourself you meme-loving fuck

Xena is over, leave it the fuck alone

>XENA IS A PURE
I think the dozens of guys she fucked, including Hercules and and his sidekick Iolaus, would attest otherwise

Haha, nice one kid! I like your moxie, I really do. You remind me of a younger me.
Back when I was just starting out on the boards, I would pull stunts like this all the time. Turn a meme on its ear. Try to be a "big guy" and impress the oldfags. It's completely normal.
But ya know what, kid? In time you'll come to learn that there's more to memery than simple tradition. There's great strength in it. Playing along with some OP's epic bait isn't something we do because we want to fit in. We do it because it weeds out the reddit fags and normies from the true memesmen of Cred Forums.
You stay around here long enough, kid, and you'll come to realize this. But for now, get out there, have some fun, and think about what I said.
And then read the first letter of each sentence of this post ;^)

DESU Xena was already soft-core lesbianism, all it needed was autists and retards to not understand that the nuances and lesbianism were supposed to be jokes, and that Xena is a lot more then some cardboard cutout strunk independent womyn who needs no man meme shit.

DELETE THIS NOW

I didn't mind the lesbian subtext in the earlier seasons, it was subtle and fun to catch all the little in-jokes and hints. I hated the last two seasons where they really try to force it down our throats, literally a "wink, wink Xena and Gabby are in LOOOOVE" every fucking episode

But yeah, Xena is an amazing character. One of the best strong woman characters in all of television, second only to maybe Aeryn Sun in Farscape

Does it really get that bad? I've only seen the first few seasons, since I missed them all when they first aired. Stupid parents didn't approve of the show and forbade me from watching it when it originally aired.

erect nipples

>who is on the other side of the wall?
beaners

I'm exaggerating just a bit, but it does get a little annoying. Also the show just jumps the shark hard in season 5, they removed based R.J. Stewart as showrunner and replaced him with the gruesome twosome Orci & Kurtzman, who you may know as the writers of the Star Trek reboot films... enough said

Anyway after they take a giant shit on the show in season 5 and do the best to drive it into the ground, Rob Tapert wises up and fires there ass and brings back Stewart for season 6. He did what he could but the show never fully recovered

Btw, after you're done with Xena make sure to check out Cleopatra 2525. It's basically Xena in the future with lasers and robots

Why do people like sex? You're literally blowing hot stinky air into each other's faces the whole time. I really don't want to know what some girl was eating earlier that day.

>and apparently they will dress more conservatively
wtf why do people get more prude omfg

Well apparently they are inspire by Brienne in Game of Thrones... yeag

It's 2016 guys why should women have to show their midriffs? It's degrading

>Aired for two seasons
Not worth it. Not going to get emotionally invested in a series when it only has a hand full of episodes.

when you're in the moment things like that don't really bother you

You'll be missing out. It's a whole mess of fun

>it's a Bruce Campbell episode

Didn't know Emma Watson was in this.

>It's degrading
how? i dont think xena was in any way a degrading role. she was proud of her physique but also a tough women. she wasnt a walking sex object. but she definately was hot.

Well she was definitely a TV sex symbol, but I agree it wasn't a degrading role at all. I'm only speculating on their reasoning, but I think the people writing the reboot just want to avoid any accusations of many a sexy girl show for men. The main group of people they seem to be making the reboot for are the lesbian and tumblrina fans who make up maybe 10-15% of the original show's fanbase

They're missing the mark pretty bad, and if the reboot does end up happening I doubt it will last long. They've already alienated a sizable number of Xena fans with the news that has been coming out about it

>It's a Joxer episode
Thank god the writing for the show is good enough to make it bearable to watch.

Jet was the shit though.

xena didn's show her stomach for 4+ of the 6 seasons

Gabrielle did, and Xena loved showing off those gams

And they did a great job of emphasizing her cleavage considering she has rather small boobs

Joxer was a character I hated a first but quickly grew on me. After a few seasons I loved him

One character I always hated was Salmoneus, but he was mostly on Hercules

Oh, crap. In 1999, I fapped so much to this picture. Maxim, I think...

>You will never hear Lucy Lawless say "Come here. Xena. Needs. Sexxxx..."

>meet Hudson in the park
>seems like a nice quiet yoga girl
>bedroom
>SEMEN DEMON

I saw that this came out recently. I hesitated buying it because it's $25 and judging by the cover I doubt there is any good fap material

Full Nude Yoga with Hudson Leick when?

>Cred Forums is always whining about BLACKED
>tfw Xena loved Marcus so much, that she literally went to Tartarus and back because of her love for him

I really don't like his "acting like an idiot all the time and being completely oblivious to everything while at the same time being full of himself" schtick he did.

He did have to eventually grow up over time, like the first time he killed someone it pretty much traumatised him, and despite being a goof he still acted brave enough to protect Xena's horse from Callisto herself.

this

The way his character developed was nice and he becomes really likable

Also
>dat theme song

>she enters her tent after a long day of pillaging and slaughter
>"kneel slave, I've been holding this in for hours"
>she walks over you as you fall to your knees, lifts up her leather skirt, spreads her ass cheeks and sits directly on your face
>your nose penetrates her asshole as she gets comfortable, then she releases a torrent of piss into your mouth
>"swallow you worthless pig" she says before sighing as she relieves herself on your face, her supple cheeks clenching your head
>after finishing, she lifts up, turns around and plants her asshole directly over your open maw
>"I hope you're hungry worm, I've been saving up this meal for you all day" laughing, then grunting, her anus puckers and slowly spits turd after turd into your mouth
>gagging, you are forced to chew and swallow quickly to avoid being suffocated by her long, slimy logs
>she's finally done, "now lick me clean slave, inside and out"
>you quickly use your tongue to get every morsel, every stain until she's completely spotless
>she straightens her skirt, turns and looks at you
>"you did better than last time, maybe I was right not to kill you along with your pathetic family. I wonder how long you'll last before dying like my last slaves... hmm, well it's FOOD for thought"
>she quietly laughs to herself, then moves to her bed for some much needed rest
>your belly full with her piss and shit, you silently watch her form as she drifts into unconsciousness, wondering what tomorrow will bring...

>tfw you have a thing for fucked up girls like Callisto
>that one scene in season 2 when Gabrielle asks her if she ever feels anything
>Callisto sitting down on the ground with her legs completely spread out didn't help either

name of the episode? Is it Return of Callisto?

It was A Necessary Evil.

thanks, will find the scene

One thing that definitely lends Callisto to the pee/scat fetish is her tendency to squat

I always had a thing for Discord. I loved all the other character, especially, Callisto. However, Discord is just....awkwardly beautiful. Loved her and her scenes with Kevin Smith(peace be with him.)

>it's a Hercules ends up defeting dahak episode

>even though dahak was a bigger xena villain

would be dommed by her/10

Hated her and Ares' sidekick Stryfe though, so fucking annoying. The same actor plays Creegan in Cleopatra 2525 tho and he's great

>Full Nude Yoga with Hudson Leick when?

youtube.com/watch?v=CukVGUC8dFg

oh dude...

>it's an user gets another erection and has to fap again episode

>you take your cubic bone and you DIG IT into the ground
I'd dig her cubic bone into the ground if you know what I mean

nothing has created more faps than the woman's desire for fame

>Creegan in Cleopatra 2525
Wow, I never knew that was him. Too bad her career never took off after the show. She was always very beautiful to me in an awkward Betty Boop kind of way.

it's a new victorian era. but more stupid

H-How does she still look incredibly young? That show aired 20 years ago but she still looks like she's in her late 20's.
>inb4 Ambrosia is real and she ate some

Nah, go look at her personal FB. Her profile pics show her true age.

Damn it why did I listen to you.
Now I feel a lot older then I want too as well.

you realize doggy style exists right?
in fact most animals do it that way.

>she spreads her asscheeks to sit on your face and take a piss
>she turns around to take a shit
I don't think this pasta understands anatomy.

gabs a qt

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