Captain! Sensors are detecting three Romulan warbirds declocking off our starboard bow!

>Captain! Sensors are detecting three Romulan warbirds declocking off our starboard bow!

What do you do?

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youtube.com/watch?v=TJGOSB9NkTY
youtube.com/watch?v=hLrmyv-gFJ4
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba
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Get captured and repeatedly punched in the face.

>when they say you can't save the day

I wait for Worf to arm photon torpedos then
>MR. WORF! BELAY THAT ORDER!

>BELAY

It's DELAY you fucktard.

>tell them we have recorded a secret Dominion meeting about backstabbing the Empire
>invite them over via shuttle
>show them the recording in the holodeck
>they realize its fake
>they take a datastick with the fake holo recording
>the datastick is actually a bomb
>they leave
>shuttle blows up
>obvious evidence of a Dominion assassination found in the wreckage
>dock at DS9 and high five Garak while spitroasting a bajoran slave girl

Here's your (you)

No, it is belay. It means to hold off or to cancel.

dictionary.com/browse/belay?s=t

beam a nuke aboard each with 1 sec left on the detonator

ez

>beam a nuke

This ain't Stargate. Although when they started doing that I was so happy to see common sense play out like that.

prepare to fire all photo torpedoes. beam a dispensable boarding party to each ships bridge 10 seconds before.

What are shields?

You have to get pretty close to use the transporter, probably closer again for something large and complicated like a nuke.

>implying i didnt get them right as they decloaked

checkmate

Romulans have the sexiest ship designs. Prove me wrong, protip: Klingons are fine too

>use shuttle to drop a lead shielded nuke into space
>wait for them to drop shields to come board you
>blow up one ship
>now the fight is 2 on 1

Call a scientific officer to the bridge to determine what the fuck is illuminating those warbirds.

Lead shielding...?
The sensors use far more sophisticated tech than xrays.

Hail them and tell them they are in direct violation of Federation treaty 235Ba and await their response.

Not that close. If you're in phaser range, you're in transporter range too. IIRC Starfleet transporters were quoted at 50 000 km in TNG.

Three of them? I'm not aware of any Starfleet ships that can take three on at once.

I would turn tail and run.

Through a full shield the nuke probably won't do much. They'd also detect you ejecting some object in the first place which would be suspicious. And they might not even board you at all.

Isn't fighting 3 on 1 equivalent of the kobyashi maru ?

isn't the whole point to die well

I ask which direction starboard bow is

They transported a torpedo on to a Borg ship in Voyager.

FIRE EVERYTHING!

You know, I've always though the Warbird design looked pretty stupid.

Really? You would think with that being the case, Klingons would board ships and slaughter slaughter the enemy crews as often as they can.

better chance then trying to talk your way out of it and using older tactics seems like a better chance than many other tactics. Or you leave a shuttle dead in space underneath the ship and make it look like debris, than explode something capable of causing shield disruption like a localized emp.

Voyager also broke the Warp 10 barrier and turned Tom Paris into a lizard.

than*

True. For some reason the Borg decided not to go with shields during Janeway's road trip through the Delta Quadrant.

Forward right

Within the rules of TNG, discuss a way out of it with the bridge crew then negotiate a way out of it with the Rommies. That solves the problem of only being able to have, like, 10 miniature shots to depict a battle at most.

If Kelvin universe, a quick battle with a million vfx shots and the Enterprise getting torn up. I'd just like a mid ground of spectacle and clever tactical negotiations.

You need to drop the enemy's shields first. And you have to drop yours for transport, and you cant transport while cloaked. So Klingons need to either disable their target or ridiculously outmaneuver it before being able to beam a boarding party. Which I'm pretty sure they do if they have the chance. Not much chance to beam over during a 2000+ starship clusterfuck like it was during the Dominion War.

We do not care for your Federation treaties. We are here in search of human semen.

You will fill each of our cargo bays with the precious substance or we will extract it by force.

An emp would have zero effect on a full shield and a preety minimal effect on any ship too.

Unless you're talking something truly cosmic in scale.

do what they do in STO, sit in their blind spot and fuck them hard.

By.....force you say?

no I was thinking of using it in some kind of ploy, most of my scenarios involve boarding parties though. considering if they open up on you as soon as they arrive then this entire thread is pointless.

STO, Starfleet Command, Klingon Academy.

KA was most satisfying IMO, kill their impulse drive and they tow the motherfucker to a black hole and laugh as it gets sucked in.

>We are here in search of human semen.

We'll just beam you straight to the holodeck then. Bring a bucket.

is how the Earth-romulan war went down?

I'm still fucking mad about that.

That's lime saying I planned to use a feather in a gunfight as a ploy.

Let me reiterate. Emps are useless.

>Good my ale shipment is here, ready the cargo transporter!
>*rubs lobe*

>Yellow alert
>pipe hard bass over the comms
>Deploy craft and service teams to fill the halls and rooms with folding tables at chest height.
>Deploy security teams to squat atop and underneath tables at interval, just in case there are manlet Romulans
>Tell engineering to blow one of the nacelles
>Direct helm to list and corkscrew the ship favoring the direction of the destroyed nacelle
>Direct tactical to divert power from weapons array to shields, have him frenetically flip the shields on and off
>hope that the Romulans decide to investigate thinking we are crippled from some sort of Federation union labor quality craftsmanship
>when they drop their shields to board
>Transport our aerated engine waste products onto the warbirds

they even came up with a cool reason as to why the humans and romulans would never meet face to face.

well in TOS it was implied it was because they used primitive space technology, which would've been interesting but too limited for other stories, so i was ok with their creative interpretation

>build tons of small fighter/attack ships to breach planetary security while your plans for larger ships are scrapped and start churning out smaller ships with more guns
>they keep pushing into coalition territory, only ships not being 'captured' used remote telepresence are human ships due to their technological backwardness, meaning earth's allies for fear of weakness being known stay out of the fight largely
>Vulcan supplies worlds near Romulan territory with advanced tech, forcing them to respond to fights on their boarders
>it essentially becomes a slugging match with each side racing to get towards a warp 7 engine first
>earth despite losing colonies to phyrric bombing tactics manages to turn several key battles causing heavy losses to rommies
>view point of the war is broken into three groups
>travis on other main ships, trip behind enemy lines, and archer acting as a fleet commander
>travis loses just about every ship he serves on in war becoming an albatross, trip gets captured but not before destroying the warp 7 romulan complex and basically causing shenanigans behind enemy lines
>archer manages to not go full archer during the war

Romulans used relativistic near-warp impulse drive to run away from Vulcan, and they never answered hails so nobody knew what they looked like.

Although the drone ship was a pretty cool idea.

Rotate the ship 360 degrees and warp factor five away.

you forgot, Trip's dead

Michael kenmoore*

my bad

The books retconned it. The finale was actually Section 31 bullshit fed into the historical files.

well isolationist was a good enough, the drone ship was a good edition.

Turn the super fast thingy on and skedaddle away

YOU'RE pretty stupid

"Commander, tell me about your sexual organs."

A starfleet professor and chief transporter officer on 13 Miranda class ships was teaching a class on Transporters.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the transporter and accept that it truly is the safest way to travel!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Reginald Barclay who had served 1500 tours of duty scrubbing plasma exhausts and understood the necessity of physical travel stood up.

”So is the person coming out of the transporter the same one that was beamed, or a duplicate?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Ferengily and smugly replied “Of course its the same, you ponce”

”Wrong. If the person that came out was the same, then Thomas Riker should not exist!”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his PADD and copy of Transporters Today. He stormed out of the room crying those Transportfag tears.

The Cadets applauded and all accepted the Type-8 shuttlecraft as their lord and savior. A Warp 10 capable warpsled named “Dinoguana” flew into the room and perched atop the Starfleet flag and shed a self-sealing stembolt on the LCARS databank. The holodeck safety manual was read several times, and Miles O'Brien himself showed up but had to go home immediately because Keiko told him he had to.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of Transporter psychosis and his pattern was lost for all eternity.

thomas riker does seem like an argument for the whole transporters are killing thing.

>smirked quite Ferengily
kek

>Thomas Riker
This story was not worth ruining the series's lore for. It should be easily possible to reproduce any object if it could be accidentally done so. Every ship should have a Data.

>Miles O'Brien himself showed up but had to go home immediately because Keiko told him he had to.

>Garak
>Into girls
Top kek.

How have I lived my life up to now without seeing this?

Immediatly hail the ships and laugh at them as hard as I can, with a "just as keikaku" grin on my face.

They are so paranoid they will take days to figure out I'm bluffing;

Do Romulans only have 1 ship design? I've never seen any other except maybe the scout ship from the defector and those two cool ones from Nemesis.

If Ferengis were a race entirely made of lolis but with the same personality, DS9 would still be running.

Garak is bi.

Dukat did nothing wrong

santa clause would not approve of that sort of behavior

Except that time when he got caught in his own trap

youtube.com/watch?v=TJGOSB9NkTY

which riker is the real riker? they both can't be

most logical to conclude, neither is

youtube.com/watch?v=hLrmyv-gFJ4

What kind of a shit logic is this? They are both real Rikers, because the transporter DUPLICATED one person

>Miles O'Brien himself showed up
But he's a huge transporterfag

riker never actually existed he wasnt born until he got into the transporter that day.

The original Riker is the real Riker

The original Riker is the one captured by the first beam

Wait for Q to pop up

>large and complicated
The resources and mechanism needed to create a nuke are actually really small, user.

Has there ever been any actress as QT as this one?

>Yfw she suddenly disappeared from Season 3 onward with no explaination

he welcomes the end of suffering that stepping onto the pad means, desu

Is that the one who spilled hot chocolate all over the Captain?

>tfw Tim Allen was so based, an entire generation grew up thinking Santa Clause is how you spell Santa Claus

She's like a Hispanic Elaine May.

diamonds

She's the triple breasted whore of eroticon-6

Cred Forums smart.
Cred Forums have meme.
Us have no meme, you smart.

how did they into space?

Are photon torpidos stronger than nukes? If so how many nukes per photon torpido? How many photon torpidos per quantum torpidos?

>torpido
I believe the answers to your question in order are

>Way past wicked strong
>Many
>Many times much

Also in addition to , if you weren't doing a thing with then sorry for being a faggot.

For exacts you probably want to checkk Memory Alpha

HA

if they were one photon with shields down would easily vaporize an entire ship

somehow nuke technology was lost

Have you thanked our Lord and Savior JJ Abrams for saving the franchise today?

Why would you need more? Why spread your efforts?

kill yourself

>Get the lube and prepare your assholes
>We ain't going dry again

>technobabble some magic shit
>beam torpedoes to their bridge

IIRC a photon torpedo has a maximum yield of 52mt.

We have made nukes(but not detonated) stronger than that.

Why were there no beastmaster races? Imagine an enemy that attacks by beaming packs of feral or trained dogs (or alien equivalent) aboard. They'd get overwhelmed pretty quickly by energy weapons but they'd inflict massive damage in the time it takes to realise what happened and have your security forces clear every deck, especially against any civilians aboard. It'd also be cheaper than soldiers or robots, and it's easy enough that we wven do it now.

I think they shoule have done that with Klingons and their Targs desu.

Mad Bermanfag detected

Actually no, we have never manufactured anything larger than 50MT, which we also detonated.
Designed? Yes? Made? No.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba

Open hailing frequencies, oh and have Lt. Yar prepare her anus. Our shipment of Romulan ale has arrived!

/most beloved Capt ever

A quite strange way of saving it when the last one bombed so nastily.

I thought it was built to 100mt and then later downgraded. Either way we basically had it.

>Why were there no beastmaster races?
because its not warhammer?

this might work actually
although they could use weird alien lifeforms. like etheral ghost things that could go through walls or something like the blob or just something like species 8472

It wasn't lost. It was abandoned. Why use it when more effective and efficient technologies exist?

There's a reason for that.

Any ship capable of knocking down the shield of an enemy ship is also capable of destroying it.

The only scenario therefore, in which the enemy ship has no shields but isn't about to be destroyed, is when you want to capture the ship and/or someone on board in one piece; or want an honourable face to face battle.

Now most species we actually see (Mainly Klingons and Borg) who take any interest in not outright blowing everything up, fall into those categories and on top of that, they have something trained dogs of war don't: The ability to disable confinement shields.
The borg can mostly just walk through them, while the klingons can break them down or disable them if it comes to that.

What is a trained beast supposed to do? Bump its head against the invisible forcefield repeatedly?


They're a very niche solution to a very niche scenario where the enemy has no shields, you want their ship, and they have no way of trapping the beasts behind forcefields or reinforced doors.

>get ready to bang some sweet, sweet, Romulan pussy

and then they decided to make Romulan women fugly by giving them pronounced foreheads in later designs.
still would

Thank you JJ for making star trek watchable!

Why do half these answers involve sex with aliens? Why vant you guys control your hormones and find a nice fertile Cardassian woman to settle down with?

Blow up the ship and take them with you.

why don't you go watch some star wars with the flashy light swords, or better yet dangle some keys in front of your face?

>"user why arn't you eating your gagh? How can you have any blood pie if you don't eat your gagh!"

What did he mean by this?

He was letting a lot of people go due to budgetary constraints.

Captain, I recommend we fire photon torpedoes, full spread.

Shut up Worf, drink your prune juice.

It is a warrior's drink.

Reddit pleb kiddo please die in a fire

>"Romulans? Shields up!"
>"Thank God it wasn't those Ferengi space kikes!"

What did he mean by this?

I watch them being vaporised, as I would have given the computer standard orders to start shooting at any decloaking vessels.It takes several seconds before they have their shields up, a fatal flaw seeign how quickly the computer could react.

tfw you blow up an innocent freighter by mistake

even though it was a trick it shows that Worf would make a shit captain, he would start a war or get lots of people killed

Arm my photon torpedo and set phasers to full bang.

> freighter
> with a cloaking device

Probably a smuggler. Good riddance.

Beam Wesley aboard their bridge with a phaser and wish him good luck as you warp away.

Shields don't only go down when attacked. You can use tricks to get through them, like that super-soldier in TNG who was in an escape pod and bounced off their shields and somehow beamed through them, or you can just ambush them before they put their shields up (no Federation craft has their shields up as a matter of course, they always have to raise them after there's trouble).

Make it so Mr. Data, maximum warp.

Chief, prepare to beam Ensign Crusher aboard the Romulan ship.

Picard, what is the meaning of this?

>Beam
Nah m8

>Mr. Crusher, would you mind performing surgery on a photon torpedo? We need the yield increased.
>YES THIR CAPTAIN ANONYMOUS THIR
>[The sound of Jeremy Clarkson blowing through one nostril]
>Mr. Worf, as soon as he's in the torpedo bay, seal and launch it
>Ooga booga where da Trill women at

The problem with tricks and ambushes is that you get to use them once.
It's like using a phaser against the Borg.
Once they know what to expect, they'll be ready for it.
They won't let anyone bounce off their shield again, and they'll recognize your ship design once you exhausted the varieties of your shipyards.

It's not something you can use widely and reliably.

And again, even if you beam a bunch of war beasts on board, there is no reason the other crew can't just put up forcefield or shut security doors around said beasts, minimizing their effects, since unlike trained combatants, beasts have no way of getting past that.

Correction to :
There ARE beasts that could do that, but at that point you really have to start questioning how they've been tamed to begin with.

>put up forcefield
You keep saying this, but it's not as useful as quick as you're making it out to be. Yes, they have forcefields throughout all the corridors, and they can activate them individually in the bridge too, but I bet they can't do it quick enough to stop 50 wolves that just appeared in the room with them, and it wouldn't help the people in rooms that get beamed into.

Thinking about it, everyone in Star Trek was constantly lucky that boarding parties only showed up in corridors or within the range of someone's phaser.

>unlike trained combatants, beasts have no way of getting past that
EMP collars on them. Takes out force fields and phasers, force the crew to go hand-to-teeth. OR, send in the handlers with them, like we also do now.

>but I bet they can't do it quick enough to stop 50 wolves that just appeared in the room with them, and it wouldn't help the people in rooms that get beamed into.
I'm fairly certain they've used commands like
>"Computer, isolate intruders with level x forcefield"
-to resolve these issues before implying the computer can take care of it on its own, without them having the manually select and set the forcefields.


>EMP collar
While this sounds nice in concept, I doubt people would get trapped in forcefields as often as they do on the shows if the technology to create EMPs powerful enough to knock down those forcefields was readily available

>>"Computer, isolate intruders with level x forcefield"
Exactly. Can you say that quicker than a wolf can run at you from the corner of the bridge? If not, can you avoid screaming as it tears into your flesh long enough to finish the command and possibly save your friends?

And if you're not happy with EMP collars, how about something to dampen their life signs so the computer doesn't notice recognise their lifesigns? 8472 and those super soldiers I mentioned earlier had that ability naturally so it must be technologically possible

>It's a holodeck episode

>It's a dying planet needs the enterprise's help and they need to solve it with technobable in a specific time frame
Is there any more boring episode archetype than this?

>Exactly. Can you say that quicker than a wolf can run at you from the corner of the bridge? If not, can you avoid screaming as it tears into your flesh long enough to finish the command and possibly save your friends?
Are you implying that these aliens can simultaneously take out everyone who could give such a command? Very impressive war beasts, those.


Also, I think you miss the point of my "not readily available" argument.
I'm sure someone can make EMPs that can do it, as I'm sure someone as advanced as the one species that almost destroyed the Borg can make other gadgets that solve these issues.
What I don't think, is that a species can develop these technologies so early into their own technological development that designing their strategies and ships around maintaining packs of war beasts is viable.

I mean they'd have to be about as advanced if not more advanced than the Federation to pull this off anywhere near the Federation. Which means that by the time they can pull it off, they've already had a good 200+ years of space exploration in their history in which they had no way of using these tactics, so they'd have specialized in something else.