ALL THE STARS ARE HERE

fuck off, he's an unfunny shitskin

Until I met my wife I felt incomplete, now I'm finished!

BLOOD AND BONES

>I'm glad to see I'm continuing the tradition of you only having white blokes on the show, you only have white men
>Well, it's supposed to be a comedy

Is he /ourguy/?

>Hey norm did you hear about the riots in Ferguson?
>Yeah I heard it was because I became the new KFC mascot.

Jesus Christ, Norm

Where is this quote taken from?

The Stephen Merchant episode of the podcast, about halfway through

I love the contrast between the ones where you can tell Norm actually respects the guest, like the Billy Bob or Roseanne episodes, and ones like that one.

>[On Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment
>"Doesn't he know where it's located? It isn't easily grabbable. The only woman you could grab by the pussy is Caitlin Jenner."

Jesus

Thanks and checked

COMMIE GOBBLEDYGOOK

the light was on tbqh

He's an ay-rab, if that helps!

You don't think they respect Stephen merchant?

Bruce Jenner is great, he won gold in the dicatholin in the 1970s.
>"she"
Wow a woman won gold in the dicatholin in the 1970s, isn't that incredible!

He's too soft.

>there will never be another new episode of NML

youtube.com/watch?v=gl6R5ROEaDY

>tfw you will live to see Norm's death in the headlines

He's an old dude struggling with parkinson's. This is probably his final stretch

Listen, Barfyman362, NO you cannot rape my mother with a knife!

I'm guessing around the time his netflix special comes out and he's promoting it, there will be another few episodes released

holy hell he went from 50 years old to 70 years old within 2 years

Norm was talking about the queen dying\killing the queen. You can literally go to jail for that in England. Petty and immature from norm imo

I'm sure he does in some sense but you can tell when he considers someone as an equal because he's not always trying to fuck with them.

>You can literally go to jail for that in England.
They were not in England so what's the big deal.

I only know thow two from that vide, but they come off as stiff boring shills.

Cry more. He was just mocking how stupid it is for Britcucks to have some huge respect for the Queen even though she was just born into it.

>Dude, topical humor is trash. Ever try to watch Murphy Brown?
>Norm didn't you become popular by hosting Weekend Update, that was nothing but topical political humor?

What the H?!

>Conservative, vague religious beliefs
>his humor is off the wall post modern and politically incorrect

More or less he's a conservative but makes humor like a liberal. It's an interesting contrast. It's why he works.

It's called not shaving

he alternates between thin and bloated fat all the time. No reason why. Some people speculate he is taking medical steroids.

It's the ladles of gravy. Some call it unseemly.

I think it's a bit of the opposite. Someone who he knows, like Todd Glass or David Spade have a lot more jokes thrown at them.

He's from Canada, he grew up singing god save the queen.

Just a regular american diet

lol can you imagine not being a citizen but a subject. now THAT'S cucked

>he's from Canada

More of a reason to realize how stupid monarchs are.

Todd Glass was kind of cringy. Especially when he said how he immediatly stops telling jokes without even thinking if SJW declare them offensive, and then he later analysis if a joke is too much because they called Charlie Brown a cock sucker

ALL THE BABY MOLESTERS ARE WATCHING THEIR FLAT SCREENS
THE PHOTOSHOP STARS ARE BEING WARSHIPPED BY THEM
OH THE GRANDEUR OH THE MOMENTUM OF MODERN DAY TELEVISION
A PERFECT CEMENT GOPHER HOLE FOR 1MILLION CHILD FUCKING HAMPSTERS
WHHHOOOOOOOOOOO

>He's from Canada, he grew up singing god save the queen.

Us Canadians do not sing that shit. We sing that gay ass song "Oh Canada" every morning in school.

He told to me to open my mouth and say oink! I thought that was over the line.

>You can literally go to jail for that in England.

he aint in england though

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA!!!

yeah i know norms canadian

lel, no you can't. Like maybe it's a law but show me where someone has been jailed for that.

>NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY
>two episodes in four Mondays

A real jerk

What's your favorite Norm joke? I'll start

youtube.com/watch?v=WBIpMGyJQBw

Why does he hurts us like this?

>He's from Canada, he grew up singing god save the queen.

>go on vacation to DC
>on a tour bus
>turns out a canadian couple is there
>tour guide starts talking about US/Canadian relationships and how the Queen is actually their top leader or whatever
>"Do you guys consider the queen your leader?"
>they immediately reply "No"

lol

Just a heads up. A guy on Youtube is uploading every single one of Norm's Weekend updates.

Also he was rather handsome back in the 90's. Bloated and werird looking now.

The Queen has even less power in Canada. She pays us no attention. Instead she has a representive, the Govenor General. The GG does absolutely nothing. Mostly a ceremonal position now.

So we don't even have the Queen, but some cheap replacement who pretends to be the Queen.

You know Americans can go to jail for talking about killing the president as well, right?

>I remember as a kid, when Bruce won that medal, and they draped it over his big juicy tits.

Imagine

Canadians have more of a reason to dislike the queen than Americans do.

I mean, they literally pay taxes to fund her luxurious lifestyle. I'd be fucking pissed.

thanks now at least I get the memes

Didn't become the anthem until 1980.

There hasn't been laws like that since Cromwell.

PM is constitutionally the equivalent to speaker of the house. Really the Governor General is comparable to the President, but it hasn't been an issue since the 30s.

They don't pay taxes to the queen. They keep government houses that the royal family and other dignitaries can visit, but Canadian taxes don't go to her. The Queen's representative can cost over 20 million a year, but it depends how much money the PM lets them waste.

>being this much of a crown licker

Kill yourself you waste of breath.

Canada's a top ten world economy, $20 million is a joke. It's just floss on diplomats money.

How did this go from a comfy Norm thread to an angry argument about a third-world country?

LLAI

Can someone link me to this if it's real, just imagining it in Norm's voice has me almost peeing my pants

He allegedly said it in a recent standup appearance, I don't know if it was recorded

>mfw I found out that eget is a jew

egret*

any new interviews out there?

youtube.com/watch?v=YFzzQSemMys
>one guy had a very very funny line right before he blew his head off
>NO BUD NO

i hope donald trump deports him

>dirt nap
What did he mean by this?

You know you literally can't, you ameritard

BUH

>Guinness Book of Fucking Retards

best moment of the larry king episode desu

in south africa you can go to jail for not singing the indigenous language part of the national anthem

Naw, the secret service just comes to the house and gets info about you. Then you go on a list. Happened to my older brother.

>Is that my tree?

DUDE APATHY LMAO

His going deep and california on videos are really good.

He's the Diogenes of comedy.

Link?

I heard he's killing it jerking off punks under the Queensborough bridge for $15 a man

6:55-7:10

> Samberg and the other two fellas

He was on the Nerdist podcast, it was a good ep. More than 2 hours long.

>Bantu languages
>Indigenous to South Africa

>Would you like to apologize for anything you just said
>What did I say

>The ugly little secret in Hollywood is that Rodney Dangerfield never got any respect.

>Norm
>post-modern
He's totally mainstream, the most out-there he gets are his shock jokes and so-corny-it's-good jokes. He dislikes alt-comedy.

That billy bob one was my favorite.I don't think I'd ever seen an interview with him before. Billy bob seems like such an awesome guy. would have a beer with.

I'm 90% sure that Adam is a Cred Forumsack

He at least has a mostly-accurate understanding of this place after someone made a thread about catfishing him and the curtain was pulled back at the last moment out of mercy. Others have claimed he got Norm to do a small QA thread here after but I never saw that and think it'd be a much bigger deal.

Keep in mind that Norm was not super young when he got on SNL. He was in his early 30s. He's 56 now.

This one is retarded as hell, but I laugh my ass off everytime I watch it

youtube.com/watch?v=0ZIfGqLa8F4

The actual videos or just the audio?

Fun fact:
You can also be jailed for making racial/racist statements in England, whether online or irl.

I'm off to Cred Forums to report some limeys to their authorities.

Norm Macdonald...

MAKE

GOD

LAUGH

Actual video. You should probably download these as they might get taken down.

Is this what you're talking about? youtube.com/channel/UC8_zk5rASqkysHCNA24-F_A

>You should probably download these
I would if he didn't fuck them up by superimposing all that crap over the video.

nerdist.com/nerdist-podcast-norm-macdonald/

> says in every interview beforehand that he missed his chance to meet carson
> reveals that he did in this interview

i think norm likes to keep his encounters to himself, making it more special. probably why he deleted his bob dylan story.

He looks like shit now.

>I would if he didn't fuck them up by superimposing all that crap over the video.

You have to. Youtube has bots scanning videos.

It's all lies.

Even if he did meet him, the particulars are probably fake.

I really liked how much of a pompous shit he is in his videos and how utterly dismantled he was by an actual comedian like Norm.

What a terrible name for an airline.

Reddit.com/r/dadjokes /10.

Your dad wishes he could suck Norm's juicy cock.

I absolutely love this one: youtube.com/watch?v=zmi0mDc-cBY

Andy Dick doesn't suspect ANYTHING.

"But 9/11 was a national tragedy" is not a joke, it's not a punchline, it's nothing. But Norm's delivery makes it hilarious.

Then Andy realizes he's been set up, which makes him crack up. "Why do you laugh at that?" (again, not even close to a joke, but very funny) seals the deal.

And on top of that you get the yak joke.

xD

It's just his tone and style of comedy, dad humor. Makes sense, he is a father.

andy dick always seemed like an asshole to me, but he was pretty comfy in that episode.

This one never gets posted much, at 5:30
youtube.com/watch?v=-TkktCS0LpM

He's dressed like CIA too

teamcoco.com/video/norm-macdonald-interview-pt-3-05-17-11

This one is just so retarded, I love it. Completely falls apart at the end.

I SAID YA DIRTY DOG

Has anyone bought his book? It's literally just stories he's told tons of times on Norm Live already. lel. what a jerk.

Although I will admit I haven't finished it yet, but im probably like 75% through it.

God those co-hosts are even worse than Adam Ygritte

JUST RELEASE THE NEW EPISODES NORM FUCK

Ha, that's the downside of watching so much of his stuff. Like in the most recent Conan appearance, he reused his "A LITTLE DRINKIN', A LITTLE FIGHTIN', A LITTLE FORNICATIN'" joke.

What did everybody think of his latest Conan appearance?

youtube.com/watch?v=L7K-kaelQEs

I've been rewatching it over the last couple of days, and it still makes me laugh desu

Posting the most underrated Norm joke of all time.

youtube.com/watch?v=lV_2ur8MacU

>he reused his

It's not his joke
most of the jokes he does during interviews aren't his

I don't even know if he came up with that gag, but the "you guessed it Frank Stalone" is still one of my all time favorites. I bust it out every once in a while myself.

Sylvester actually asked him to stop with that joke because his brother was under a lot of pressure at the time.

Pretty cool of Norm to stop, and as I've heard, Frank found it really funny after a short while.

I just meant that he had previously told it on another episode of Conan. I didn't mean that he originally wrote.

wrote it*

5:25 to learn Norm's ethnic background

there are only gonna be six this time just to promote his book

You fucking idiots theres new episodes up?

ahaha

>nerdist.com/nerdist-podcast-norm-macdonald/

> "Im closer to Judaism than anything else"

DROPPED

The first time he did that joke on Conan he was making a joke about Andy being gay. I liked that one better.

Yeah the last one was from two weeks ago. It's supposed to be every Monday.

>Some gold chains would make a good anniversary gift for a very good slave.

It's making jokes to other people but only for your amusement. That's dad humor

>Buh
>Jash

fuck these one syllable meme words made up by hipsters for their stupid fucking "collectives" and "collaborations"

Reminds me of this
youtube.com/watch?v=HjTuq_mFOdk

>I don't think I'd ever seen an interview with him before.

youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6qyy7bw

strap yourself in for monster magazines

youtube.com/watch?v=9hXZmcTisB0

Stella was a very underrated show.

Although I don't know if I was just young and dumb or if it was a genius as I remember it as.

YA DIRTY DOG

S M O K E
T
A
C
K
S

Why is Adam such an avid Anti-Semite?

What did they ever do to him?

underrated post

Tough crowd
I laughed pretty hard though

I never watched a lot of Tim and Eric, but holy fuck is this hard to watch. I love it

i told this joke at an open mic and got silence and walked off stage

underrated

ladies and gentlemen this man is for the birds

I've only seen him on that Youtube award show were he was painfully unfunny.
Probably because he was scared and thought hosting some Youtube video would lead to something.
Whereas Norm was funny as fuck, and straight up didn't care.

Same with Jenny Slate, I've seen other video of her which was about as funny.

>Bur?
>Oh no Norm heh heh

In their defense, Jenny and Kassem were being paid to keep things on track and attempt to maintain some level of professionalism. Norm couldn't give two fucks and relished in burning it all down.

Have they done another live red carpet show like this since then?
I remember watching this live in a gamethread. I dont remember seeing any other ones though

> virulent

HOLY CROW

I love it when he talks like an old chunk of coal

i've also adapted the habit of cutting people off mid sentence with an abrupt "HUH?"

Haha that's a classic

>be Australian
>see all the dumb leafs in this thread shitting on the queen
absolutely disgusting

>le based Queen
She's a cunt and the sooner we have our republic the better.

>removing the last line of accountability for our shitty fucking politicians and severing our ties to the UK and the rest of the countries that used to be in the empire and shitting all over our heritage and basically making us a blank slate shithole without any kind of person or movement with enough drive to use the republic as an actual opportunity

the attorney general has had more power than the queen since like the 60's

>accountability
yeah lol, the queen is really going to intervene in our politics. KEK.

>severing our ties to the UK and the rest of the countries that used to be in the empire and shitting all over our heritage

The UK shat all over its own heritage. The sooner we sever ties with the United Kaliphate the better. And who gives a fuck about the other irrelevant commonwealth countries. Are you going to miss Belize and Zambia?

the republic will just symbolise the eradication of the australian identity and its dissoultion into some generic cosmopolitan bullshit unless, as I said, there is some kind of proper effort to create a new, stronger one. I don't think there is anyone in Australia with the vision or competence to achieve this, instead disavowing the monarchy will just represent some lame shit like "throwing off our evil white imperialist origins" and be referred to as such for the next hundred years, instead of being some actual kind of turning point in our history

it would be about as deep as replacing our current flag with a fucking kangaroo

*acid-tongued

WHAT
O
U
L
D

SETH MEYERS

D
O

>you will never have a rare smug pepe red carpet Norm

Why is Norm so cheeky bros?

>doesn't have a license or even knows how to drive
>can never hold down a project aka jobs
>degenerate addictions
>le edgy hitler jokes
>isn't liked by the mainstream

I remember when Louie CK was absolutely loved by this board. Fucking ADORED. Then Louie starting getting big and one autistic loser kept forcing the interracial breeding grounds meme and since all of you are impressionable faggots of course you latched on to it like a nigger to welfare. Wonder how long before the contrarians take root and turn against Norm.

>not fattening up every fall like a bear for winter.
Give it a try and you will know the definition of comfy.

why did he start the fucking podcast again and promise a new episode every week if he was only going to do 2 fucking episodes?

I've been watching Norm vids for the last three hours.

You know who made me want to watch it?

You guessed it,
Frank stallone

Adam Eget is a god tier punching bag, the bit where norm and gilbert gottfried go on about him eating out the corpse of hitlers asshole for like 20 minutes is legendary

ck was adored 10 years ago, so what. times change

HRH>HRC

That's our Norm

>get this crazy bitch away from me

It was like two years ago, user. That guy is completely right.

It was original, and that counts for a hell of a lot.

>Tfw little norm

RARE
A
R
E

Anyone know which Conan appearance the joke about a "golden ship" and "friendship" was on?

i fucking died when i heard that

where does this episode go in the tiers?

youtube.com/watch?v=s8ogbaPhk5w

No wonder he got molested

Wtf good point now I hate Norm

this

although it got to be kind of painful to see someone get so emasculated, especially when it's obvious that they think they're hot shit.

I wish his book was a genuine biography

I do too but you can still get a lot of insight into his personality from it. You just have to sift his words.