The Apprentice - Official Pre-Match and Game Thread #1

who /HighTest/ here?

...

...

gay guy with eyes too far apart will smash this task lads

Really enjoying Westworld, lads.

Is that what's her face

Is Ann Robinson aging in reverse?

hopefully Sugar Daddy offs another munter

Would you suck Alan Sugar's cock until he cums for £250,000?

who /tits who do not defy gravity/ here

I'd do it for a tenner. Though i am a massive faggot

you mean i'm 3/10 on the fucked up on weed scale?

Already forgotten all their names.

Would you shag me?

Girls to go out

obviously. i'd probably go down to £70,000 tbqh

asian lad with the bowtie has a tom pellerau air about him

I've not even learned them yet, I know the bender's name though

frances and jessica are waifu tier that's all i care about desu

It seems pretty early for them to be doing an advert

I'm a bottom mate.

...

fuck sake

i wanted to get a bowl of ice cream before it started but i forgot

I'd def lick Karen's bumhole 2bh

dirty slag

...

Nice digits

I would if she hadn't ruined West Ham

Fuck I missed last week. Any good? Any good qts? Any proper mongs?

makes it even better

Goat waifu coming through

Can't wait to see a rickshaw turn up for Karthik when he's fired.

Top bants from Sugar

I want the gay guy to sit on my face

This paki is a prick

>voting for yourself

hahahaha

Nearly every girl is a hottie, and one of the two that aren't was fired.

BIG K BOYZ
WHERE YOU AT?

I miss Rosin lads

>women can't take a simple vote
and they want to run countries?

Liz was all time top waifu desu

>a poo in loo thinks a shitty eyebrow makes him unique
lol?

>boys vs girls again

This is fucking sexist, if the boys win yet again it means someone is getting fired.

>The girls are useless

Wew, what a unique situation. Every fucking time.

>Day after Yesterday

Fucking what

>Hiro
Holy shit, she tried to warn us

Wasn't Ichiban the lipstick from friends?

isn't the asian guy japanese?

how the fuck doesn't he know any japanese?

fuck, what did I miss

What the literal fuck

Does he actually work in Fashion or what? That's retarded.

>Mukai, you have brought shame to your fameree ... you're fired

>emojeans

FUSOKJVAKNGFESNZK
FFUCK OFF

> I have a bowtie so listen to me

Fucking bellend

It always happens. And the women are always fucking shit which is why it goes to mixed groups after a few weeks.

Mukai looks so much wiser than he actually is

>emojeans

Christ almighty

>emojeans
Jesus, the only worse name is Day After Yesterday.

They literally always bitch with each other. It's stupid. Get over yourselves.

>London
>again

Oh good

>20 retards who can't sell jeans

Oh good

...

>northern birds

not for me clive

alri

>do you know anything about our product
no? it's YOUR job to tell THEM about your product, you thick twat

too soon

F

Claude wants to shank these cunts.

This ugly fucking gutter cow with the fake tan is awful. Won't shut the fuck up, can't believe they made her team leader

That hot one with the dark hair is fucking insufferable.

>WHY DOES IT HAVE TO SAY DEMIN IT'S ON FUCKIN JEANS YOU THICK BASTARDS!!

>do you know anything about japanese denim?

why yes sir you've stumbled upon an expert

>always Japanese

As opposed to sometimes Japanese?

This paki is gone. Guaranteed.

>MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI >MUKAI

is there a maximum IQ requirement for this show? they're all as thick as 2 short planks

Holy shit, is this the first time the negro has spoken on screen?

Real talk, is this the thickest bunch yet?

the fat guy looks like he should run a pub

Man, I forgot how depressingly shit everyone is at the beginning

The Jap is gone

Nah m8 it's the jap

That japanese guy is so fucking stupid

These people are getting so shafted by the BBC editors

HOLY FUCK

>women

I like the narrator's inflection

They've comes to see a "professional" photographer

its an entertainment show at the end of the day. Its not fun watching a bunch of people who are actually competent.

HAHAHAHAHHA

> Unclaimed

Sounds like so lewd domination shit for singletons

>Forgetting the fucking jeans

Yeah I posted that before I saw the Jap go full retard

Is Jess fucking no-polar or something

youtube.com/watch?v=3ss-59fi4nM

>WOMEN
>WOMEN
>WOMEN

>forget jeans
>"you forgot the jeans"
>cry

>these people should make as much as men

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FFS

...
Brother?

Yeah but they never used to be this godawful

>doing jean ad campaign
>don't have any jeans
>bursting into treats

KEK
E
K

HAHAHAHA, forgot the fucking jeans. How is that possible?

>WOMEN
literally on week 2 and we already have a breakdown. based sugar needs to blow her the fuck out next

>Bad situation
>Woman starts to cry

EVERY

FUCKING

TIME

This blonde guy is fucking THIRSTY for this model's cock

Christ almighty. The state of these cunts.

>Karen explains the situation
>She has a panic attack
Ah yes, women

Shame, she's actually pretty hot

I hope that lad gets fucked off quick

I mean he probably won't this task because he doesn't have a huge responsibility but I have hopes for next task. I reckon as soon as he's in a position where has to do something other than draw doodles and flirt with models he'll collapse.

This homo, kek.

sly vodafone advertising

inb4 footfags

>coming up with problems with my solutions

someone post screenshots please

>be natural
>do a fake laugh
she is finished

>has 3 kids
>at 29

DROPPED

typical northerner

That black guy was like "SHIEEET I FINNA HIT DAT" to that model

These people are literally mongs this time, worse than usual

...

Alana is absolutely my waifu for this series, locked in.

I just want her to sit on my face

I'd get an erection in the ad.

This faggot is unbelievably annoying

>Alana

Pics user, we're not far enough in to know names

She was shown in beginning of this episode in a quick segment for the "sales convention" episode. She's going nowhere

>business in 2016

Can I fug Alana, pls?

Blonde one with the blue top

>only 27 minutes left

fucking hell that went quick

why is everybody such a mong?

the qt cubby one

>Apprentice candidate Jessica Cunningham once starred in a low-budget horror film in which she was raped by a clown.

>The 29-year-old brunette, who also used to earn £300-a-night as a stripper in an upmarket lap-dancing club, appeared in the movie Lock In.

Fucking pics when???

Project manager is gone either way.

jessica's arse is perfect

Is the house still in Richmond

Fat guy will win series. FACT

Please stop forcing this meme

It's like The X Factor. After a few years all the people with any actual talent realised it was a fucking bear trap and steered well clear. What's left are the people dumb enough to think a reality show is going to make their career.

why do the BBC require at least 1 stripper or another degenerate in every apprentice series?

...

Source on those words mate

she does look like the type though

No the black guy will

>Minidiscs

WEW LAD

Literally forgettable. Will be gone before half way getting found out for doing nothing

where have you been?

also there's no pics just one posted earlier in this thread

>I keep my minidiscs in a fragrant box from 15 years ago

ha ha ha what ha ha

That designer guy....savage

>Minidiscs

U wot

>choker

fuggg now we're talking

>that thicc with the blonde hair

WEW

>Can you help me...

Hope the women win, they're all too fit to be fired

Women are fucking despicable to each other.

Jessica seems like she'd be a great shag, but I dunno if I could be around her for a long period of time.

>shooting an advert at 48fps
just vile

Can Grainne speak?

It's kinda hot that she doesn't
>those eyes

This is like some sort of foot fetish shit

i hope he dont get fired

This paki is exactly like my former boss

The Irish guy and Asian guy should start a sitcom?

Irish Coffee.

What the fuck are those sounds? Do they play videos at bus stops?

This Paki is what every Paki I have met is like

Why is the paki just shouting about taking his jacket off?

You can't read the girl's logo

Special K has to win

Sensible chuckle

massive uni-brow?

Based paki desu

Yeah the lads one is simple but the branding is obvious. The girls haven't got branding.

>this fucking paki

hahaha it's like poleaboo on roids

Fuck off POO

AHHH THIS CRINGE AD

>one of these girls is married to a scunthorpe player
>The self proclaimed 'wag thats not a wag girl'

You're not a wag because you're married to some no mark that plays for scunthorpe

Are Paki's really like this? I live in Devon so never met one.

this paki needs to go, doesn't even understand that he's a subordinate

fucking EXECUTE HIM

what is it with pakis and computers?

Yes granddad from Wigan. Down in the big smoke we have buildings that reach the sky and everyone owns cars as well.

Yes, they are. They have a massive ego for literally no reason.

The monobrow Indian is a virgin isn't he?

>get lucky in the background.
DONT RAPE THESONG YOU FUCKING NORMIES REEEEEEEE

Inb4 Karthik goes crazy and starts beheading other candidates

>minorities and women showing how stupid they are
Tokenism works guys

>paki
>Paki
>paki
>paki
>paki
>paki

excuse me, he's indian

Fuck off I live in a big town and I've never seen those.

>That edit

Wew, nice

>shake it off in the toilet

>toilet
>shake it off

based karen

Fuck off pleb

Based Karen

>dialogue in an advert
Wanna put my head through wall

nah but a lot are. probably like 95%

>7am

>literal shit humour in apprentice
TV gold

They get Bailey Jay to appear in their ad?

Jeans? Empowering? Everything empowers women today

> Empowering women

oh fuck off

>saying you need to be overruled to a jap

Karthik you're not american

It's a fucking clown show as usual.

>got nothing in my brain

>I hate you so much right now
10/10 L cut

>luxurious
>comes in a fucking cardboard tube that looks like the middle of a bog roll

>Women

If the boisterous paki wasnt on the boys they'd walk this task.

JESS BRINGING THE BANTZ

>Are you clear on that?

>Uhm......

Literally a shitshow on both sides.

Scunthorpe sounds like an imaginary place where terrible things happen

>high income
>teens

hmmmmm

>streaming video on a bus stop advert
what?

fucking awful

>It's like the clangers

Kek

What the fuck are those noises at the bus stop??

wow that's fucking shit

This is central london we're talking about

It's fake user

you're half right, guess which

>it's a "someone says to another person that the product is a good product" ad

>rolling up your jeans in the loo
Surely this implies she just had a shag

Fucking hell

This is awful

You ever been to london mate

>Scunthorpe sounds like an imaginary place where terrible things happen

Well its in the north so I imagine it's run by muslim rape gangs.

>Grainne finally speaks
okay.

I know, that's why I'm asking why they're doing it

>you can keep it

Black guy fucking reking them at the end

>I'm not sure it says luxury to me
>Really?!
Why do they say this shit

>the apprentice
>all about business
>get sacked because your directing and script writing is shit

love it when people destroy a pitch hahahahha

Ah jesus, he's fucking choking already

the girl with the chin is a actually a qt from the front

girls pitching will save them ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

CANT WATCH

Goodbye Asian Vampie

Ummm...

That's the gay art lad making phone noises

I don't know why

Rich wankers in overpriced clothes everywhere, yah

Chink on suicide watch

Because they rented the bus stop for the day, and I guess nobody in the public used their retarded ad board

CRINGEEEE

it really means
we're talking about
so what I mean to talk about is
today

Well fuck me fire wtf is he doing?

CRINGE

JAP FLOUNDERING LIKE A WHALE KILLED BY THE NIPS

>Implying the Apprentice is about business

>CHINK

KEK

>this advert

She must be a porn star, no leit actress is this bad

>it's a contestants stumble over their words when talking in front of other people and you have to put your fingers in your ears to block out the awkwardness episode.

*Kharthik will remember this*

GOODBYE JAPANESE DOCTOR WHO

>be contestant
>can't properly market your product
>get sacked
GEE I WONDER WHY

Is this guy a fucking builder or something?

The girls' advert was better...and that's saying something

COUPLA JOOCY CONVERSATIONS

>These adverts

>Different cuts
>Different designs
>Unisex

please karrthik no

pls karthik

>Get on the Apprentice
>Don't know what Unisex means.

Toppity kek.

OH GOD IT'S ALL SO FUCKING HORRIBLE

>two different products for men and women
>it's unisex
what were they thinking?

that advert was fucking shocking

they weren't

>having a product
>successful business
Newcomers have no chance

REQUESTING A GIF OF THE ACTORS EYEBROWS HOLY SHIT

WALK ON JAP

Seen abortions less gruesome thay those two presentations

>what were they thinking?
Probably "I want to be famous and be on TV"

Can't wait for Claude to rip into them

Oooh it's getting chilly lads

Is it just me or do the candidates get mote retarded each year? In the first season they were relatively normal people

OI JAP

WALK ON

Mikai brought his suicide sword just in case.

...

Genuinely not sure who's worse.

saved

So.
Which was less of a train wreck?
I think the girls have it.

The men are going to lose this unfortunately.

How can they actually be this dumb?

saved then deleted

What the fuck was that?

The men

10/10

sudoku inbound

Paki went full retard

Advert was shit

Missed the billboard

Yeah, it's the lads

Kill them all

>shut the fuck up or I'll send you down the ganges you cunt

Wow Sugar going all out this season.

Has Alan Sugar actually had any business success since the 80s?

I missed the lads advert, what happened?

I can't even understand what this shitskin is saying

fucking hell how far apart are the gay irish guys eyes

Well he's in the House of Lords so the queen must have thought so

jeans advert

No. It's not a new observation.

...

The women at least got all their jobs done and produced a brand that, while super bland, makes sense.

actor in the boys advert

this

>Alan's look of contempt when a homosexual speaks.

Has the black lad spoke yet?

The lost the task because Dylan spent too long checking out the male models. Lord Sugar is a homophobe!

gayy lmao

You can visibly see them clenching their sphincters

Definitely, I think it's because the show is turning into a parody of itself

...

It was atrocious, like a college humor skit but even shitter and with even worse acting

This show is pretty successful

I think that's it

NEW
NEW
NEW

is lord sugar an actual lord?

Nope. So either he'll quietly get into the later rounds or get kicked out early.

yes, and he gets to strike down laws in Parliament

Of the manlets, maybe.

>thinking this will need another thread
there's literally 5 minutes left

Where abouts in Devon faggot? I'm in Plymouth

>Mad Men? More like ...Demented.. Dimwits.

He fluffed that pun pretty bad.

Salcombe representing.

>2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING >2 WAY FIRING

SUGAR MAD AS FUCK

If they get rid of Based Karthik I'm going to rage

> Men's table discussing quietly, albeit angrily, listening to each other.
>Woman's table all screaming and shouting at each other

Give them equal wages.

I'd have brought Dillon back, he took way too much time to do stuff

Some lovely beaches up that way, nice one user.

kek, forgot london and birmingham were in the fucking north