Let's cast the inevitable The First Law HBO show

Let's cast the inevitable The First Law HBO show

Inquisitor Glokta

GOAT fucking book series.

Jeff Bridges for Bayaz. He can play chill out father figure incredibly well but turn on a dime to be Supreme Asshole #1.

Glokta is supposed to be a tiny, physically feeble torture victim, almost iredeemably cruel. He's also ugly as fuck, like Steve Buscemi x2 ugly. We need an actor who can play a wretched and cruel little man who can deliver god-tier monologues.

Logen, maybe Jason Momoa just because he does really good Barbarian characters and is described as handsome even if he's one big walking battlescar.

Jezzal I'd say someone who looks like a younger Nikolai Coster Waldau. NKW is too old to play Jezzal but he does have that asshole prettyboy look.

> Momoa
> Logen

I like the actor but he would be a poor fit for the role, just get Ray Stevenson to do it he's more appropriate

Jeff bridges could work quite well though! I agree with NKW part too

Maybe we can get Thor's little brother, whathisface.. Liam? He looks like he could play an alpha prick pretty well.

I dunno, Logen is also tanned and wild looking. Momoa has that thing about him, considering he's fairly wild-looking in his natural state just walking down the street. Exotic looks/heritage n all. Having a white guy play it would detract from his character (and also I can't see Ray Stevenson as a good choice honestly..)

Better question would who would portray THE MOTHERFUCKIN' DOGMAN?!

Is this book any good?
I don't like fantasy much because the writing is usually atrocious, but I've heard good things about this trilogy

It is better written than Game of Thrones by a fucking mile, and I love GoT and LotR. It's written in a style that is very.. human. The descriptions of things are enough for you to know what's going on but it focuses a lot on the people who also act less like cliche fantasy tropes and are actually very well-developed. There's black humour throughout and people actually question things in a way you'd expect your friend would do if you told him a retarded idea.

Gimme a few minutes I'll type you a small paragraph or two from the books so you see what I mean.

Don't Abercrombie is a meme.

Dude, Logens a not!Germanic clan type, where are you getting tanned from?

I think he might have black hair?

Dogmans a pretty hard one desu

Stevenson could do an alright job if no one more suitable was found, he was good in Rome.

From Best Served Cold, one of the standalones set after the trilogy.

>He slid the last hard heel of bread from his inside pocket as carefully as a miser breaking out his hoard, took a nibble from the end, making sure to taste every crumb of it. The he caught the man nearest to him staring, licking his pale lips. Shivers felt his shoulders slump, broke some off and handed it over.
>"Thanks, friend." as he wolfed it down.
>"No bother" said Shivers, though he'd spent hours chopping logs for it. Quite a lot of painful bother, in fact. The rest of 'em were all looking now, big sad eyes like pups needed feeding. He threw up his hands.
>"If I had bread for everyone, why the fuck would I be stood here?"
>They turned away grumbling.

And another from the same book

>There was a huge canvas in a gleaming frame on one wall - a woman with an improbable bosom bathing in a stream, and seeming to enjoy it a lot more than was likely. Monza never had understood why getting out a tit or two made for a better painting. But painters seemed to think it did, so tits is what you got.

Wasn't it stated that he was all tanned and leathery-skinned from constant travel and battles?

I think an uglier form of Benjen Stark's actor might do Dogman good. there's so many characters it would be a nightmare to find suitable actors according to the books for all..

Read the first book and hated it.

The author seems to be trying his hardest to subvert cliches, it just comes across as smug and nauseating.

It's not entirely awful, the Named Men subplot was all kinds of awesome, and I actually liked the character development that sprung from the Fencing dude and his love interest.

There's one section early on in the novel though where some of the characters come to a castle looking for a Wizard, they pass a muscular blacksmith in the courtyard, and then spot a bearded dude in robes and a pointy hat. I could see in my minds eye the author chuckling to himself that he was getting one over on the reader before he even got to the 'The blacksmith is actually the Wizard' revelation. I think that moment encapsulated the whole book really.

Might make a good TV show though, I thought The Expanse novels were pretty awful as well and the TV show is actually watchable.

Lad, the best chapter is the start of the battle in the Heroes where the narrator is killed and then his killer takes over. So well written.

He's still described as being pale, I thought? But you're probably right, I don't think it makes him Momoa brown

best served cold was the only good book in the series

How's it feel being objectively wrong?

Fair enough yeah, perhaps momoa-brown isn't the way to go. We just need a grizzled-looking motherfucker that isn't Mikey Rourke-tier.

Also that chapter was fucking great, it's called Casualties, I just found it. It happens like 6 times throughout the chapter.

I can see where you're coming from but that's not necessarily bad. It's still really well written in my opinion and the fact so much fantasy goes in favour of tropes that its still refreshing to find books that break them, even if you see a some of them coming. He does actually play things straight often, so you're left guessing.

starring zoe saldana as ferro

Chocolatey goodness! I don't remember if Ferro was just moccha black or like sub-saharan tribeswoman black though. Either way it's not that damning a change.

SEAN BEAN FOR THREETREES

Shivers was such a bad motherfucker
fuck Monza

Tom Hardy as Fenris the Feared

Shivers has some of the best character development I've read honestly. He's such a fucking goofball at the start of Best Served Cold but turns into this walking Terminator, only to soften a little bit back up later.

also gina carano as monza (when she's buff and healthy and not ruined)

John Wincott as Glotka.

Every other suggestion is wrong.

The guy who played Crixus could be Ninefingers I guess.

Patrick Stewart for Bayaz.

>John Wincott

Literally who?

>John Wincott as Glotka.

MICHAEL Wincott is what I meant.

John Wincott is hot as fuck though, but if he channeled his orgasmic voice of Death from Darksiders it would be such a joy hearing him bitch about stairs.

needs to be someone darker skinned

Yeah I got confused too.

Some tall hispanic actress who can put on some muscle. Can't think of anyone at the moment.

Is he really, though? Based on what he used to be, shouldn't he be a physically fit man, just hunched over and limping from injuries? He's also a lot younger than what most people would picture since he and that other guy grew up together, right?

Michael Wincott would be perfect as Glokta, actually. He could easily play a hideous villain and give a hint of the humanity that is still left in there. Glokta is meant to be like a ruined castle that was once beautiful.

he can't be physically fit. he hasn't had any real physical activity in dozens of years.

Young Glokta

Old Glokta

Glokta is repeatedly stated to be a wretched ugly little man covered in torture scars and wounds. One leg is skinnier than the other from having either the muscle torn out or just emaciated beyond repair. Teeth pulled out, broken bones that set wrongly and all that. He limps, he is forced to eat nothing but soup and needs his helper to get him out of the bath. He even shits the bed due to poor organ functions.

this is about how i pictured glokta, except he's blonde.
anybody could play jezal. the bad guy from titanic wouild be a good fit.

John Malkovic as Arch Lector Sult

The war was only 9 years prior, and he himself is only 35. He'd be more lean and skinny than old and wretched.

Eugene Simon as Jezal
Christopher Walken as Glokta

he's a malnourished waif whose muscles have been atrophying for a decade. that is literally the exact opposite of physically fit.

Who is playing Ardee West?

Dark hair, crooked smile, beautiful, but exotic. Big tits, wide hips.

I picture Nigella Lawson for some reason. But she's too old.

...

Perfect Jezal.

He looks smug as fuck and isn't even trying. I hate him already.

DJ Qualls as Bayaz' apprentice.

He was captive for three years at most, user. Before the war, he was the best swordsman anyone had seen and easily lifted weights that the current champion struggled to lift. Even his muscles had atrophied, his frame wouldn't change. He'd be more like House and less like Igor.

RIP in literally pieces.

Liked the trilogy. Liked the collection of short stories.

I hated The Heroes. Should I read the other two stand-alones?

>Brian Cox as Bayaz

I can't be the only one who didn't imagine him as Brian Cox

Best Served Cold is really entertaining. I actually read it before reading the main trilogy.

>hating the heroes
holy shit how pleb can you be
Heroes, Best Served Cold, Red Country, and the Half a World series are the best things that the trilogy created

Are the Half series related to the First Law? I thought they were another universe entirely.

Pretty sure they're separate and also meant as YA books.

>Bayaz wins because

God damn that series trolled me hard.

>We need an actor who can play a wretched and cruel little man who can deliver god-tier monologues.

It's lovely that Joe Abercrombie had the creativity to bring Tyrion Glokta to life.

But, anyway:
>Jeff Bridges for Bayaz

Yes. Who will play Ardee?

>Who will play Ardee?
Alexandra Daddario

Who plays Fiddler?

The three standalone books were much better.
Also why no Malazan?
BTW the next 9 books will be about the transition to an Iron age and away from magic and adventuring

...

I can see the First Law working since it wouldn't require much of a budget except for the maybe the last battle

Malazan would be impossible to do what with the magic system and how expensive it would be

>Oh, that? I am a liar.