JUST MILK MY SHIT UP

>please don't be as shit as cursed child
Voldemort's daughter

>pentalogy

kek what? There is no fucking way that book can be five od damn movies.

Don't fucking remind me.
At least the screenplay for all five movies are being done by Rowling

According to Pottermore, there aren't that many American wizards because the Salem witch trials scared them off, even though Europe had bigger witch trials. Really.

>You will never see Luna get MUGGLED

I've got a theory, right

So I kept asking myself, "why would jk rowling keep selling out so hard when harry potter made her literally one of the wealthiest people in the world, even richer than the queen according to some tabloids, to the point it seemed unnecessary?"
And then it hit me, the rothschilds. She's so rich, she would've met some of them. And in her extreme liberal mind, she probably thinks they don't deserve their empire. Well one series has put her in the same room as them, how much would it take to overtake them?

So she's attempting to become so rich that she can reshape the world in her idealistic own way

She cowrote the book you ape

>Peter, why is my stuntman doing his scenes first?

she's a pureblood, she would never do that

Actually it was only based on an original idea of hers, likely "Harry and Draco's kids are BFF's in Slytherin". She also declared it canon and the 8th story though so she should still take some blame.

God she was a babe. She'll probably balloon up and be a cashier at some Irish supermarket for the rest of her life. Sad

Are you fucking serious? That's something out of a goddamn fanfic, who the hell thought it was a good idea?

JK Rowling

She has silver hair with blue tips

I didn't realise J K Rowling had started drinking and browsing ff.net for a lucky self-insert to put in the Harry Potter canon.

Books were a mistake.

This is going to be a fucking trainwreck, I just know it. Cursed Child is shitty fanfiction. The lack of research, bad plotting and disastrous worldbuilding done by her on Pottermore about America guarantees this will be a beautiful disaster to behold.

Where's the Harry potter copypasta guy today?

>Where's the Harry potter copypasta guy today?
He'll be here soon enough. The thread is still young

I like it because it's the only way that we don't get bombarded with constant references to the stuff in HP or even retarded cameos that don't make sense.

>Cursed Child

The whole time I was reading that (after the Time Turner bit was revealed) I kept wondering why they didn't put one on a muggle power drill and go back to 1920 to shoot Tom Riddle in his little kid brain.

YOUR A WIZZARD EDDIE.

I don't believe you

It's canon

>harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Delphini

Wasn't the book like... 100 pages?

Whatever. This is basically Hobbit trilogy 2.0 but with LESS source material. So I won't even pretend I'm going to see it.

>Books were a mistake.
She didn't write them. Rowling=Carolyn Keene

Is there any good fanart of her? That actress isn't hot enough to be Voldy's daughter.

>Hobbit trilogy 2.0 but with LESS source material

And 2 more movies.

True dilution.
Has any other series had such treatment?

I don't even think Pokemon suffered this.

Actually, I'm legit curious now. What series suffered more dilution than Harry Potter?

>Delphini
no way

The plays main focus is the relationship between two codependent teenage boys, who look exactly like Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, AKA one of the oldest slash pairings on the internet. So no very little art on anyone else.

>people from Cred Forums actually read Cursed Child
Damn son... Was it worth it? Even though I know the plot and it's fanfiction tier, was it a bit fun? I might read it once I find a free ebook version.

How the fuck did Cursed Child get good reviews?

I heard the play was better when actually seen

Its honestly 100% pure garbage.
If you're talking about the play then it was because of set design and acting
The book thought I have no fucking idea.

Well, I guess most plays work like that.

Should've been clearer. The writing isn't that strong but the performances and the effects help save it.

why isn't there an Irish wizard school? I feel like the Irish wouldn't want their kids going to school in the UK.

Would you believe that the plot focuses on back to the future style time travel, where they go back in time to Goblet of Fire and accidentally create an alternate future where Voldemort wins and everyone celebrates voldemort day?

Would you believe that the trolley witch from the train that sells candy is actually a terminator with long knives for fingers and throws pumpkin bombs?

Would you believe that the dialogue reads like a bad tumblr post, with Malfoy's son having lines such as: "Wow. Squeak. My geekness is a-quivering."?

>was it a bit fun?

Aggressively not. There's all this overwrought cack about daddy issues forced in at random occasions, and it seems like none of the original trio actually like each other any more, despite being intermarried all over the place. It's genuinely horrible.

She has all the kids in Africa and all the kids in Asia to one school
Plus most of the Latin American kids go to a school...in Brazil

I knew everything except the Malfoy Son quote. Kek.

I mean, christ that sucks. Can't they think of a new villain instead?

Don't forget "Merlin's beard" and all those types of expressions are replaced by "Dumbledore's beard".

HOW'S THAT EVEN FUCKING POSSIBLE?

To be honest the thing I hated most was her putting Albus in Slytherin. I know that was a popular fan theory but he's only convinced that it's okay if he's sorted into Slytherin because some Slytherins were brave.
I thought it would've been more interesting for a Malfoy to be in Gryffindor.

Anything is possible with kevin and tumblr backing you!

Cancerous trends from niche internet communities are infecting the real world. this must be stopped.

The time travel mechanics are all fucked now.

It's not based on the book, it's based on the life of the fictional author.

>ywn get to see adult Harry and Ron investigating dark wizards as Aurors

If Scorpius had been the main character that probably would have happened, as it is Albus in Slytherin is used to reinforce his daddy issues.

>ywn get to see adult Harry and Ron investigating dark wizards as Aurors
That's what I wanted from a sequel all along. Doesn't even need an arc villain like Voldemort. Just Harry dealing with his PTSD and solving different problems.

>She has all the kids in Africa...to one school

and most of those kids are white Rhodesians & South Africans. the African wizard kids are...not exactly "school" material.

All going to be box office bombs except the first one I bet

>Look up Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
>A book with 128 pages
>Getting 5 movies

I can't process this into my head

Who is the one on the left supposed to be?

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

The Japanese, Chinese, Koreans all go to one school too. like that will ever work out. Does this bitch know anything about Asia?

obviously Shinto wizards won the 1940s wizard war and Japan dominates the Asian wizarding world

>Nips, chins, and k-oreos all go together
Kek. She just wanted to group people together. She'd put Pakis and Indians together; Palestinians and Isrealites too.

just saw sorceres stone in IMAX

seeing the rest this weekend. sorcerers stone looked fantastic and people were clapping and laughing quite a bit

inb4 philosophers stone. it really was great though

That's a thought I wonder if wizarding countries owned the same empires as Muggle ones. Does Britain still own India for example?

First one is comfy as fuck. Slowly goes downhill.

>Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
God, I had completely forgotten about that

I would at Harry Potter land or whatever the theme parks are called and he was dressed like that but if I just saw him walking around in street clothes I don't think so.

>The Japanese, Chinese, Koreans all go to one school too. like that will ever work out.
being a wizard probably trumps those
they're kind of their own culture

not it doesnt, literally your opinion. goblet is the only bad one

but anyways they remastered the first two for IMAX and are in IMAX for first time ever? really was surprised how well it held up. seeing 2 3 4 on saturday

Clearly many agree.

thanks for the blog post you fucking retard

Literally many disagree as well, you little shit stop being a tryhard in your hugbox

MEMBER WHEN HARRY AND DRACO'S SONS FOUGHT A TROLLEY LADY WITH SPIKEY HANDS AND THEN WENT BACK IN TIME TO TRY AND SAVE CEDRIC DIGGORY

I'm seeing them as well this week . Can't fucking wait

>using buzzwords
Hugbox doesn't exactly fit here. You mean "echo chamber" or something else?

>Literally many disagree as well
Yeah those with shit taste.

>Columbus faggots getting triggered in every thread

3 6 7.1 are the best by far, i need to see those in theaters again, first one too

>Salem Witch Trials
>One minor event where about a dozen people got killed

>Europe
>Hundreds if not thousands of inquisitions, pogroms etc that saw thousands of people burned at the stake or hanged for witchcraft

what the fuck?

agreed.

JK is a hawk

She's a one hit wonder that keeps getting attention for the fact it became movies that milked the shit out of parents

Why do people like 7.1 so much?

This. Only contrarians on Cred Forums think the first two are the best say that to anyone irl and they will laugh in your face.

Of course its like comparing apples and oranges I love them all, they are entirely different. Cuaron and Yates did a hell of a job and Columbus did too

I like it a lot because of multiple reasons. Its pretty faithful to the book and imo allows the story and characters to breathe a bit so it is the perfect penultimate entry. The atmosphere is very well done its very brooding and the themes fit with the storyline. godrics hollow, malfoys manner, lovegoods house are all extremely well done. I enjoyed the pacing and woods stuff the patronus scene was great. Overall though i think it has a great climax as a halfway point with dobbys death that works with the movie. I also enjoyed how it was shot. The cinematographer is Portugese i think the pallete i smooth and rough enough to work

Not to mention Canada and Mexico would still get French/Spanish wizards going in there. Honestly a lot of the worldbuilding she's been doing doesn't seem that well researched.

This shouldnt come as a surprise at all considering everything going on for WB. They even got their talentless career director back for this trash

I'd milk Rowling though, those are some fantastic breasts

Phase 1 was the original 8 movies. We're now entering Phase 2. I hope you're ready for at least 1 new wizard movie every year for the next decade.

>holy fucking shit how long is that book

Like 50 pages. It's literally just descriptions of magical creatures, it's not even a real book.

this seems to be The Hobbit all over again and that's not good

She's qt skinny but scary looking when she's thick

Wait, they WERE making a founders movie right? What happened to it?

I own it. It's about 80 pages. There's also no plot it's just a list of animals

WB confirmed they arent doing cursed child why are you guys so stupid. They are sold out in London almost for another year and they want to bring the play to Broadway. They want to maximize theater profits. With Fantastic beasts they dont need to rush cursed child. Hell theres a bigger chance they throw money at the trio in 5-10 years for proper sequels and then also make cursed child and make a shitton

I need to watch it then

I gave up on the movies after Order

Jesus christ the first one doesn't even look good.

HBP DH1 and DH2 makes a really good back to back to back trilogy. And the beginning of HBP transitions nicely from the end of OOTP if you dont want to watch it again.

I always wondered if different regions had slightly different styles of magic. Like I imagine the bulk of magical knowledge is shared, but maybe the Eastern countries have their own magic traditions, Africa and the new world specializing more in nature stuff, etcetera.

They should. That would be interesting.

I THINK JK Rowling mentioned they DO have different styles.

>read the snyopsis for cursed child
>Voldemort had a daughter named "Delphi"

dear god it's like bad fanfiction

>I gave up on the movies after Order

Good move.

>I always wondered if different regions had slightly different styles of magic.

I imagine the American/Canadian style would be similar to the British one, but less "traditional". Probably more of a focus on teaching kids combat, especially all the ones who live in rural areas and do a lot of hunting.

Do it

holy fuck that is stupid

I'm not much of a Potterfag but the Founders actually sounds interesting

I'd rather have a book about Chad Potter finally getting the hot nerd to sploosh for him.

The Fuck?
Not only one, not only 3, BUT 5 FUCKING PARTS?!

That's because she's an absolute hack. She's literally a senseless, shitty author who somehow accidentally shat out a money printer

Isn't it mentioned somewhere in the books that wizards in the middle ages just used some anti-flame spell that made them invulnerable by fire?

It's like 30-40 pages MAX

Yes, the third book. I think she wrote on Pottermore that they were also worried about innocent muggles dying.

Because bad reviews are racism

It's 736 pages

They'll shouldn't be shocked when it flops. Normies don't actually care about books, they just pretend to.

>harry potter flopping
nigger that shit is guaranteed bank

They arent even based on a book they are just using the same name. JK is writing all the scripts

It's not Harry Potter. No matter how hard they try to market it as such, it's not.

you dont understand the market, theres a massive blueballs for wizard fantasy. its possibly the mist guaranteed success this year save civil war

You can't fool people into seeing a movie and expect them to see more.
See more: Alice in Wonderland

In which continent do they teach meme magic?

I'm the last person who wanted to see harry potter shit in America believe me but this I'm going mostly because Yates though, trailer looks like shit but its cut for a trailer its gonna feel different. Same editor as 5-8 and Ex Machina hes a very good editor as well.

As for the sequels. You're right however comparing everything to alice in wonderland is a little to easy. Just wait and see these movies will make a bunch of money.

Probably different but the Bond movies come to mind. Some are totally unlike the books and there's been several more movies made than there were Fleming books.

slightly different situation its entirely new material the book is a catalogue of monsters. JK is writing all the screenplays, reportedly with some help of Kloves

>▶
>
>You can't fool people into seeing a movie and expect them to see more.
>See more: Alice in Wonderland
This.

First movie might be a front loaded hit, the rest will fall apart.

Heck, look at star trek. Into Darkness was so bad folks didn't see Beyond (which was the best Trek movie in decades)

God these films were so fucking stupid.

Kek, under appreciated post

Are they really covering up Eddie Redmayne's forehead lines with his receding hairline to make a 35 year old look like a college student?

anyway, I'll look forward to these movies as soon as David Yates isn't directing.

>The Japanese, Chinese, Koreans all go to one school too.
Holy shit, Rowling is completely fucking retarded. It's common knowledge that the Chinese and Koreans hate the Japanese and the Japanese hate the Chinese and Koreans. Putting them all together would be a fucking disaster.

at least it's not cursed child

fuck me that thing is a trainwreck

and the worst part is the 16-year-old retards who got into harry potter through the movies are eating this shit up

like don't get me wrong i'm not trying to sound elitist over a series of wizard books for children but fuck jo just let it end

Thats what you say but im telling you i know they will make bank. They will probably switch up directors as well.

Folks saw the first two treks bc JJ. Beyond had some great stuff but it was too adhd for my liking and so all over the place it gave me a migraine twice, justa mcguffin movie. Also star wars just came back that possibly has to do with star trek taking a dip

Hp sequels have potential but that tailored to a play shit its a wonderful life harrys son storyline is gay. If they made a couple focusing on harry as an auror it could be cool

The first movie will make bank. Then it will fall apart. Just like how after everyone watched the new star wars they figured out it wasn't that great and the next film is going to be less of a hit.

yes but episode viii and ix are guaranteed.

im telling you you're underestimating it, we will see

>Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

Oh shit, there's a nostalgia trip

oh sure yeah i'd love to see some grown-up dark harry doing dark shit

there's a whole world of possibility out there and they decide to go with "let's time travel to fix something that didn't need fixing to create future problems that didn't need to happen and the whole thing goes against the pre-established laws of this universe but who cares!!!"

>Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
If we got a movie based on one of those edgy HP fanfics, what are the odds that it would actually be a box office success? Something tells me that people would eat up all the Ron Bashing.

>a movie based on one of those edgy HP fanfics

WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

thats because jk didnt even write it and hacked it up to make an easy theater production, believe me that shit pissed me off too, the time travel dynamics were sound, fucking hell.

definitely need some harry auror shit, with him catching dark wizards

yea fuck that

id even take american potter over that

>this beatiful angel got fat
Please stop this

This is actually more cinematic than any hp flick

How about seeing how the film does before saying such things, JK?

I just read the thing they have on the site about all the schools, and they even say that the Japanese school is "ancient", but Japan itself isn't ancient, as a culture it's only about 1500 years old. China on the other hand had civilization thousands of years before anyone else that side of the Indus valley, there's no way the Asia school wouldn't be there.

JK Rowling is a fucking hack. This is well known

>If we got a movie based on one of those edgy HP fanfics

What kind? The ones where Harry gets a ton of money and tries to kill Dumbledore, or the ones where a mysterious girl who coincidentally is a prettier version of the girl who wrote the fic show up for no reason? Because like this user said, the second kind is basically Twilight.

>Twilight was bad HP fanfiction made into a hit
>50 shades of grey was bad Twilight fanfiction made into a hit.

>Time to find bad 50 shades of grey fanfiction.

>>Time to find bad 50 shades of grey fanfiction.

Godspeed, user. You'll make billions.

I need to pay people to read that shit. It awful.

the most retarded thing ive ever read on here, congrats on being the new breed and gold standard of cancer

>wizard CSI with less low budget middle aged mom-targeted cheese and more buddy cop bong banter

fuck me now I want it too

There's a passage in the 5th book where Harry feels Voldemort happier than ever before through his scar. He's happy that his Death Eaters escaped Azkaban, but the play sort of retcons it to be him fucking Bellatrix

FIVE FUCKING MOVIES?
WHY?
OH GOD WHY?

>Rowling is writing the screenplay after Cursed Child

Kek
I hope she puts Native American wizards in this to piss of the tumblr kids like she did before

Wait, so does Voldemort feel it when Harry bangs Ginny?

Ginny so easy even Voldy knows how it is to be in her.

The fuck? He's canonically incapable of love, pretty much chemically castrated of sympathy from conception, and seems to have non-existent libido, likely as an extension of the love potion damage. Bellatrix was the forever cucked obsessive wannabe lover. This level of bullshit retcon is offensive even from kiddieshit.

>everything now has capeshit-like extended universe and phases
youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ
STOP THIS MILKING SHIT

Isn't there a plotline in Cursed Child where everyone thinks Malfoy is a cuck and that his wife fucked Voldemort?

I think Harry would have felt something very different from happiness.

Besides, she would have been six months pregnant in the battle of the ministry

The fucking thing was written like a textbook. Dunno how they're gonna pump 5 flicks out of that.

Uagadou, the African wizard school serves the whole continent. The young students there don't need to use wands, something that only the most powerful and rarest wizards can do in Europe. Other countries are envious of their extra animagus. A wizard from there succeeds Dumbledore as the Supreme Mugwump of the Wizengamot in Britain.

WE

looks just as garbage as the rest of the series
this fucking retard makes it even lower though

n-no she's not ;_;

>the capeshit star wars plebius maximus lotrfag nerd board thinks the harry potter series isnt good

How is anyone surprised, not only is HP a valuable IP, this feels exactly the right type of thing to turn into a franchise. Adventuring, wizardy and encountering magical creatures without the constraints of having to be a direct adaptation of something.

Don't forget that most witch trials were easily avoided by actual wizards according to her own fucking books

She's hot. I like narrow pale girls. Might be the pedo genes I inherited due to my Irish heritage

is it true that the OC Donut Steele managed to fight Harry to the point he needed help, or did Cred Forums make that up?
I know it's awful, but I want to hate it for the right reasons.

The Inquisition was more concerned with protestants than witches.

catholicbridge.com/catholic/burning_times_inquisition_witches.php

5 films being announced before the first one is even out is quite a surprise, user.

We really are in the final days of Hollywood.
Kek, I hope the studios start going bankrupt as soon as possible.

Not really HP is popular enough to be released on IMAX as a secondhand marketing for fantastic beasts, except they are actually making a profit off the distribution. These films are basically guaranteed a billion worldwide. I dont think they will be releasing them every year btw at least a two year gap

But is it going to be a simple adventure movie now? I'm fucking sick of this "ancient evil has awoken" and is going to kill the entire world, or the generic evil bad guys who want to change/destroy the world because reasons and then our good guys save us in the nick of time

fuck that shit

This is nearly as bad as those Zero the Edgehog deviantart illustrations.

>MAHOUTOKORO
>魔法ところ
>magic place
That is fucking uninspired and lazy.

Yes

No it won't be this bombs, and it will, and WB can forget about their franchise plans.

Sony's Ghostbusters was supposed to be a cinematic universe, but it flopped and those plans were cancelled.

Who would want to watch five movies with that faggot Redmayne?

You just know he's gay, one look at him is all it takes to figure out he takes it up the ass.

I didn't give a shit about any of the HP movies, but a series of movies that are actually films first instead of adaptations of shitty kids books could be okay.

Except this is only tangentially related to the IP.
It probably will do well, but it won't pull the crowd on its own merits initially, and over saturating the market with sequels won't do them any good if it's only received with lukewarm feeling

M-maybe they'll adapt my 900 page fanfic, Angelica Briars and the Queen of the Harpies. With Emma Roberts in the title role.

Remember when Harry pulled a sword out of hat brought to him by phoenix through dungeon no one been to before and fought a basilisk controlled by Voldemort's autonomous piece of soul that lived in a diary and mind controlled people who read it?

Yeah. It was awesome, and foreshadowed for a lot of the book.

Teresa the Terminator Trolley Terror was not.

Yeah. It was awesome, and foreshadowed for a lot of the book.

Teresa the Terminator Trolley Terror was not.

Ah, Albus, is it?
Yes, sorry you had to suffer under that one too, but your father meant well, and I could hardly correct him from this portrait, could I?
Did I ever tell you about your father, incidentally?
Well he was part of my ultimate plan to stop Tom Riddle, a boy who became a sociopath due in part to his upbringing in a cold orphanage, where he had no friends to speak of and nobody to explain the implications of his emerging power
So, knowing this, I sequestered your father in a home with his abusive aunt and uncle, where he was treated like an outright freak. Given that he even had a splinter of the most evil man who ever lived in him the whole time, it's amazing he came out as well as he did, come to think of it.

And he was a good friend

That entire fanfic was worth it, JUST for that line alone.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

Snap and Loopin masticating was an absolute gem, too