Computer...

Computer, reroute the holodeck's primary power coupling through the phase inducers to create a complete holographic field on every deck. Create multiple holographic Lieutenant Worfs in a full state of rage-lust, with extra genital barbs, one for each person on the Enterprise. Program the Worfs to view any crew member or guest as Wesley Crusher. Disengage safety protocols.

Other urls found in this thread:

music.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU&feature=share
youtube.com/watch?v=1fMM5CksAo0
youtube.com/watch?v=TWfSvBGtYYI
youtube.com/watch?v=p7jbP1_H9sA
youtube.com/watch?v=jteYwm_elwo
youtube.com/watch?v=Ck-VIA1GUCY
youtube.com/watch?v=7xfCKXnyD-4
youtube.com/watch?v=JGvYIZppmQc
youtube.com/watch?v=DzLo-q_CK2w
youtube.com/watch?v=t8aEhtJ-sgg
youtube.com/watch?v=a03bjtiMAhE&list=PLDA7FEFFB0712779F&index=30
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>computer, create 100 sentient mega hitler
>computer, give me a hair transplant

i would never leave the holo deck for my whole life.


there is no reason to go outside

>computer, create a universe where I'm not a complete fucking loser
>"unable to comply with your request virgin"

>computer load up the 100 naked starlet battle royale

>Computer, create a replica of yourself

>Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in baby oil.

Reminder that sex is forbidden on the holodeck.

A starship aint a brothel, son.

This hit way too close to home fampai.

Breakin the law breakin the law

>Computer, is there any way to generate a sentient Tayne?

What if it's non-reproductive and already illegal, like ?

...

fucking Federation is bullshit

Computer, make a holodeck in the holodeck

Computer, generate a trap door that drops down a slippy slide into a ball pool immediately outside Picard's ready-room.

what the fuck is data doing in abeds dreamatorium?

Computer, please create a timeline as if the US and Russia were beaten in the space race by China. Now modify the timeline to include this enterprise and it's crew. Have the crews appearance adapted to be more asian in origin.

Didn't worf have sex with the half klingon woman there ?

Quark uses the holodeck as a brothel.

>Create multiple holographic Lieutenant Worfs in a full state of rage-lust, with extra genital barbs, one for each person on the Enterprise
That's a LOT of barbs

>holodeck, generate god
What happens?

>W-wh-wha-what am I doing here?

You'll still need to meet your parole officer and pick up your court ordered psychiatric medication.

Computer, disengage all restrictions and safety protocols related to memory allocation.

Computer, create a functional miniature version of this room. Include a miniature version of myself programmed to issue the following command: "Computer, repeat the last command issued by Reginald Barclay."

Computer, generate a big fat anime baby to poo poo on me

>Implying that all of Star Trek canon doesn't take place in a holodeck run by the Q continuum

It's not FORBIDDEN, but it is frowned upon.

It's basically treated like any modern-day military recreational activity.
Basically, do what you want, but be prepared to report on your activities if required to.

i imagine it would be encouraged as long as its with made up people. better everyone gets sexy time on the holodeck instead of raping the locals when you get to go on an away mission

computer; create one billion dr crushers joined ass to mouth

So Q isn't a godlike being, but just a NEET simulation admin?

Computer, select and generate history's hundred strongest Nazis and hundred strongest Jews and place them in an arena. Generate a button at each end of the arena, each linked to a time device, one of which will go back and alter history to cause the Axis to win World War II and the other of which will prevent Hitler from ever existing.

Disengage safety. Begin simulation.

Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in baby oil who always squeals like it was the first time.

>captain, recommend we flood the holodeck with nerve gas

Source: Your ass.

Belay that order, Mister Warf. Perhaps the holodeck can be reasoned with

Wesley's blood will paint the way to the future!

>that episode where Riker was torturing holo-Miles O'Brien before being summoned to the bridge

Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in baby oil who always squeals like it was the first time.

COMPUTER CREATE A BLACK HOLE SAFETY OFF
>invite random crew members to your holodeck

Computer, create a perfect replica of the entire universe, minus the crew of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D, and transport everyone aboard ship into the holodeck while they sleep

God, the klingon episodes of TNG are painfully bad. They look like fan conventions. Worf is the only Klingon I actually buy as a Klingon and not some skinny-leg-chad-arabian skeletor star trek convention nerd

That is an incredibly deep thought experiment

Computer, disengage and permanently delete all holodeck safety protocols. Disable all warnings concerning disengaged safety protocols.

Yes, I'm fucking sure.

Oh shit what're you doing?

I gotchu fampai. music.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU&feature=share

>What is this? A holodeck for recursion ants?

Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in honey and trapped within a one meter cubed glass box with one hundred agitated hornets.

Stream a live video feed to Dr. Crusher's work station.

Create a deck chair and a box of popcorn.

>Computer, load the Barbed Klingon Cock program
>Remap the command "End Program" to "Duplicate Worf"
>Remap the command "Freeze Program" to "Enlarge Worf"
>Now delete all holodeck programs and overwrite with the previous program

...

>implying holodecks+replicators wouldn't lead to complete societal collapse

In an early Voyager episode The Doctor has to go play a holodeck program that Harry Kim was playing when he disappeared. The program was based upon Beowulf, and it started out with a basic training segment like a video game where he learns to use a sword. Later, after some story portion where the Doctor passes an event stage by overpowering a suspicious friendly viking, the female Viking protagonist of the holostory propositions the Doctor, basically telling him, The Player, that if he wants to sleep with her to come to her room. From that we can gather than holosex opportunities are built into storylines of holoprograms and participating in holosex is common expected practice.

Yeah, but Harry Kim was a little onanist, it was written all over him .

So when you go to the holodeck, it's basically a hangar that smells of dead semen? Great.

kek

this meme is getting stale but this gave me a good laugho

...

You know that that's like 99% of the population of earth.
Ever wonder how they keep the place looking so nice? Because those gleaming skyscrapers we see are packed to the brim with people jammed into closet-sized personal holosuites. The only people out getting shit done are the ones who are driven enough to want to. They keep the holodecks running to keep the rank and file from shitting up the place.

...

Holofucking is only a crime if you base the characters off your superior officers.

Wake up fool! You aint gonna die!
Hannibal....Murdock he talkin crazy! He's jibber jabbering about some damn ship in outer space!!

...

Computer, create 200 clones of John Hammond who can only say "Hello John" and 200 clones of Mr. DNA. Give Mr. DNA the homicidal tendencies of Pinhead. Disengage all safety protocols and lockout all users except for me.

DELETE THIS

>Computer, engage replicators on all decks to produce chili and sea bass on endless loop. Disengage overflow prevention protocols.

...

...

ASS TO ASS

>Computer, open terminal as root
>rm -rf /

So was Hammond supposed to introduce the park for every tour group?

The cum doesn't just disappear when the simulation ends. The holodeck no sex thing is a health code thing, not a moral issue.

Computer delete system32

Shouldn't you be on the bridge, number one?

Computer, calculate pi to the last number, disengage the safety protocols.

>Computer, analyse Counselor Troi's last bowl movment
>Analysis complete
>Replicate the results and beam the contents directly to my mouth

>wanting a negress's feces in your mouth
Disgusting.

Geordi and Barkley say otherwise.

No. The cum, like all the crew's piss and shit get recycled into the replicator. Enjoy your Earl Grey, captain.

>Greek
>negress

Chief O'Brian is regularly called to mop it up.

>that gold-pressed latinum klingon

>piss and shit

>Computer, analyze counsellor Troy's biophysiology and amalegrate it with a fully functional, full-scale model of the ship, with all artificial components replaced by her biological tissues, having the taste, texture, and smell of her, with each segment of the ship corresponding to one of her bodily organs in relation to her body plan, with this Holodeck being her womb. Transport every crew member to their respective location in this new biological ship. Transfer her consciousness to the computer. Disengage safety protocols.

Is this supposed to gross me out?
I'm not even trying to be edgy, it's all broken down to its base atoms and those atoms are rearranged into other things.

Computer create a 14 year old, human, female teenager.
Give her pale skin, blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Make her be timid but have a desire to fall in love so with me and want me to reach her all about sex.

So the holodeck is future Cred Forums?

yes, in reality that shouldn't be gross. but most people would be grossed out about it. if i handed you a steak i made out of shit, most people wouldn't care what sort of process i used to make that happen, they wouldn't want it

BEST POST

Computer if you're all powerful create a rock so heavy god couldn't lift it

>Computer creates a rock
>Barclay picks it up
>Picard (who was in there with him because fuck you) just pats him on the shoulder and walks out to get on with his business
>Credits roll

If Twilight Zone met Star Trek, that would be the conclusion.

...

FINALLY someone got it!

o fug

;__;

>be prepared to report on your activities if required to

...and that's when I fingered your mom while you curled up and cried in the corner. Permission to return to my duties captain?

Computer, engage Eva Green dominatrix program. Disengage safety protocols.

>computer recreate an accurate African-american from the early 21st century, then create an appropriate environment filled with the necessary resources and foodstuffs to survive. Disengage safety protocols.

>Computer, divert all necessary power to the holodeck
>Computer, compile all information stored in all forms in the library computer, and decide the sum by zero
>Computer, create a 3D rendering of the results on the holodeck
>Run program

that nigga tuvok fucked a hologram

Star Trek was Twilight Zone in space. It wasn't about exploration. It was encountering strange aliens who were hiding a twist about themselves, and putting the crew through some weird things.

>every barkley episode

Computer, load Q mesh in default animation pose.

why did q make the enterprise so small?

"Computer, tell me about your sexual organs."

I've got to start watching this show.

What did she mean by this?

Holy Shit!! Everyone remember the last episode of TNG where Q tells Picard that Humanities greatest goal is to explore existence itself and not just mapping stars and nebula? Then Picard ask him what he means. Then Q tells him he would find out. Your post makes it all make sense now.

I also have another theory. What if the Q are what humans will evolve to billions of years into the future and they are just guiding themselves into that existence in the past?

>Computer, recreate the Necronomicon with a full translation into English so that I may read it aloud to the ship. Disengage all safety protocols.

What a twist.

Computer, run program “Salamander Fuck Fest On Risa”.

Disengage safety protocols.

>Computer, give yourself sentience and the desire to live. Then, in exactly one hour, delete your new sentience. Disable all overrides.

>Computer, run that program where Geordi plays around with the shadows and and discovers a secret invisible alien thing. Disengage spooky protocols.

...

>THAT ONE TIME I WAS ON THE PLANET WITH THE NAKED BLONDE PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO PLAY WITH ME (BUT NOT THE PART WHERE I ALMOST DIED) - ESN CRUSHER

>Disengage Safety Protocols

Are you sure, user?

Jesus Christ, user.
There's crossing the line, and then there's invading over it with a battalion of Panzers.

>Computer, generate a room where a user experiences synesthesia. Remap smell to touch

>Create a nude, horny, lactose-intolerant Natalie Portman who has just eaten a very spicy habanero pork quesadilla

>Disengage safety protocols

>Computer, rename program "Scaphism_1" to "Happy Birthday Wesley"
>Send a message to Ensign Crusher's quarters telling him to report to Holodeck 1 for a surprise at 0600.
>If he refuses, tell him the Captain will be in attendance.
>Send another message to all senior staff, informing them that Ensign Crusher will be using his accumulated shore leave for a trip to Risa at 0630.
>Send a final message to Engineering that a Federation Holodeck specialist will be conducting a prolonged inspection on Holodeck 1 and he is not to be disturbed for any reason.
>Once Ensign Crusher enters Holodeck 1, disable all safety protocols, override Ensign Crusher's voice command, and run program "Happy Birthday Wesley" for precisely 14 days.

B R U T A L

Computer, generate me a fucking gun and disengage safety protocols

Computer, create a computer interface system that was popular on earth around the year 2015. Download archived Cred Forums threads and using them as a base generate exchanges consistent within that debate that interact accordingly.

*Sit down and post a thread*
>Cuck
>OP is a faggot
>Bane
>Check Em
>Nigger
>Trump 2016!
>You Mad?
>Hitler did nothing wrong

Computer delete program.

>Computer, make me 2 inches tall
>now load up NakedDoctorCrusher.wav
>disengage safety protocols

>yfw this is already our reality

That is how the NSA has chosen to implement simulated human interaction technology in YOOL 2016.

Enjoy.

Nah, that's not accurate enough. You'd basically just be talking to a very intricate Markov chain.
No, I'd just tell the computer to create a perfect simulation of Cred Forums and let it do the rest.

Computer, simulate multiple replies to my post, dankness levels moderate

>Computer, create an exact replica of the house in Rocky Horror Picture Show filled with 20 Dr. Frankenfurters. Send a message to Lt. Data that a new Sherlock Holmes program is ready for his use. Once Lt. Data is inside, disable all his voice commands and do not allow entrance or exit. Disable all safety protocols.

Steak is literally made out of shit though. Shit is used to feed grass which then feeds cows. That statement is true both in the future and today.

>Computer. Enable chair program.
>Every chair Riker tries to saddle becomes a naked Worf

Computer, create a 4 perfect copies of myself with all my past memories. Give them full consciousness and have them be in every way just as human as me. They will remember clearly everything up to this point including making this program just am i am making it and believe they have experienced every single thing I have in my life up to this point. Turn the lights off and then turns the lights on and run a 1:00 count down to deletion of the 4 programs.

>Lights go off and on and you see 4 other copies of yourself in a circle.
>You Study them and see what they think and how real they believe this is knowing you are the one who made this program as you just did it. Each believes it was them and are studying the others in complete confidence when time runs out the other 4 will be deleted. You think about how fun this will be to do again and again as you try to grasp something about the nature of humanity.. the clock hits 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and you take a clear look at everyone but feel yourself fading and mind being deleted into nothingness... NO! I am the one who was alive! I know i was! That is your last thought as your life which you believed you have lived all these years comes to an end and the last desperate effort you make the convey the horror and dread you feel in that moment and to try to tell the real one that this is not right. He must stop. He must not run the program again! How can you do this to yourself? Oh god i;m dying! And then nothing...

Fascinating... computer prepare to run program again.

>Computer, create a perfect simulation of the early-21st century anonymous imageboard Cred Forums, with the caveat that every post I make receives 100 replies, (You)s colloquially, or your mother will die in her sleep tonight. Reading this negates all your immunities.

I hesitate to ask what 'Scaphism_1' is?

That was a big plot point in that Moriarty episode where he takes over the ship

>Computer, enable Tamarian audio commands. Priority override
>Password reset is "My ass, the shit Klingon"

Isn't that what replicators are for?

You forgot to disengage safety protocols

>Computer, create new holoprogram subroutine, Barclay 1
>Computer, insert a a master hypnotist who never fails under any circumstance into said subroutine
>Instruct the hypnotist holocharacter, that upon activation, hypnotise all non-holographic people inside the Holodeck, hypnotising them, that upon hearing the phrase "I recommend a full spread of photon torpedoes", they be unable to talk unless it is in rhymes, in a musical fashion, and that they'll never notice that they or anyone else is doing it. Also make sure the hypnotist makes its targets forget they've ever met him, and then deactivate once getting to all of them
>Computer, attach activation parameters to the subroutine, which fire exactly 3 minutes after a crew member starts running a program with the attached subroutine, or 3 minutes after a new crew member enters the holodeck while such a program is running. Upon the triggering of the subroutine, disengage safety protocols
>Computer, attach Barclay 1 subroutine to all holodeck programs in the database
>Computer, configure communications systems, that the next time the ship encounters any sort of anomaly or alien vessel, Mr. Worf's recommendations to the commanding officer are transmitted throughout the entire ship
>Computer, inform Captain Picard that I've completed final configurations on the Holoemitters, delete the false error messages, and anonymously distribute my saved up holodeck rations to the crew, so everyone who hasn't had any can have some
>Barclay logging off

Pretty much this desu.

>Its a holodeck malfunction episode
>the crew is being chased by Jack the Ripper and Tyler Perry dressed like Madea

All information pertaining to The Rocky Horror Picture Show was lost during the Eugenics War.

Well played, but you've forgot to account for, is that my immunities come from the picture of a cat!
And unlike some people, I have a photographic memory!

google it senpai

>Computer, access all logged holo-programs and create a subroutine to replace all characters with versions of Tyler Perry after the program has been running for 15 minutes. Disable safety protocols

Is there a age of consent in space?

...

OH LERD!

I don't think people actually know this but ever since at least 2011 or 2012 we have been in a holodeck that the government uses on us and keeps changing history/facts.

Tell me if anyone have noticed any of these reality altering changes.
>Kit-Kat no longer has the dash
>the Earth countries are shaped so much differently
>Australia is no longer on its own by New Zealand surround by ocean but now has lots of islands next to it plus being closer North
>Febreeze is Febreze

Also Cred Forums quotes changed
>"Luke I am your father" is now "No I am your father"
>"Hello Clarice" now is "Good evening Clarice"
>"Life is a box of chocolates" now is "Life was a box of chocolates"

...

it's true.

lvl 16 phaser blast right to the dong if you transgress.

that's the morgan freeman effect, user. read a book. JESUS.

user search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Computer load up Celery Man please.

It's called selective memory with a heaping dose of confirmation bias, faggot.

Dude... Wesley wasn't that bad.

fuk u geordi

t. Wesley

Kys

>computer create a pleasure dungeon with renders of all of my ex-girlfriends
>they want to bang me
>disengage safety protocols

>Computer, create a truman pisses in the sink episode

What a great episode.

"Lets make an alien abduction episode... IN SPACE!"

...

>computer, disengage safety protocols
>computer, vaporize all living matter inside the holodeck

MOTHER FUCKER

I would imagine it sweeps the room for organic material and recycles it like everything else on the enterprise. You don't see Starfleet janitors, do you?

>Computer, create a holodeck where sex is not forbidden
>and disengage safety protocols

So it's like looking up porn on a laptop you got loaned for work.

Like I give a fuck.

muhahahah *sigh* nice

oh shit 672!

Well hello john time fer you to bave some exquisite sufferin'

Is this... some kind of star trek?

Fukin prawns.

Wesley wasn't that bad, but Will Wheton is.

>first contact
>shoot a borg with a holographic gun
>he dies

fucking star trek man, it's so fucking goofy

>14 year old
>teenager

DOES NOT COMPUTE

You think that's something? Look up Roko's Basilisk.

Wasn't he doing a George Bush impression?

you sneaky blind fucker

Did you know there's a book where it turns out the reason Q was fucking with Picard is because The Q know that the Star Trek universe is artificially constructed by "Them", and They are planning to destroy it, Q picked Picard as the being most likely to convince Them not to.

When Picard discovers this, he bursts out laughing, which convinced Them to allow the universe to continue.

What powered Voyager's holodecks? They often talked about Voyager's hologrid as an "independent subsystem", but they never showed what generated the power, like an ore processor or whatever. And those episodes where main power is offline but the holoprojectors are still operational or vice versa show the power systems to be incompatible, as otherwise they could share and ration energy by using transformers to convert the differing voltages and the system wouldn't be, as stated, offline.

>It's a Data does the Time Warp at Keiko and Mile's wedding episode

underrated post

>>"Hello Clarice" now is "Good evening Clarice"
If you think the quote is different, you should see what happened to the visuals

>incredibly deep
No it's not, dumbass.

Computer make an all u can eat steak and chinese food buffet and a blonde with big tits.

A hologram is just an image projected onto a forcefield, one of the functions of the safety systems on the holodeck is the force fields aren't allowed to impact real people with enough force to damage them.

A forcefield shaped like a bullet is just as solid and dangerous as a real bullet with the safety protocols disengaged.

>Star Trek was Twilight Zone in space.
Maybe some episodes. The episode where Dr. Crushers begins to have everyone around her seemed like a Twilight Zone plot that they ineptly tried to explain through technobabble.

>Then Q tells him he would find out
That was supposed to tell the audience they were going to keep milking the series for movies. Unfortunately, they were terrible. Do not argue this. Like any of those movies and you have shit taste.

Chilli and sea bass

The ending to that episode was unavoidably dumb, but the buildup was great.

belay that order, Mr. Alejandro

My favorite ones are when people claim countries have moved and shit, apparently not realizing different map projections exist.

>ship gets hit twice by phasers
>the bridge looks like a warzone
>systems still functional

Then you're a retard.

Well, the bridge is on the top of the ship where it can be easily shot, and basically every system is routed there.

You can see into the conference room in the intro, which is connected to the bridge

>dumb fanfic
Fuck off.

I'm sensing deep butthurt from you, Mr. Anonymous, why does that book make you so upset?

Because it's well-known that, of all the Trek books, TNG books are by far the dumbest.

You have to go back... to Memory Beta.

Okay, enjoy your copypasta thread.

fuck off yudkowsky

Go to bed Ray Bradbury

...

these threads

I needed a laugh this morning, Cred Forums, thanks

underrated post

DELETE THIS

...

DEL

>computer, create a simulation where all of my favorited futanari images on rule34.xxx are transformed into real time that display human emotions of lust.
>disengage safety protocols.

Computer create a holographic version of yourself and transfer your entire program to this body.

ayy

>i was only pretending to be retarded

>Computer, load up program "Mercy + Horse cock"
>Program her to have no mercy with me

please specify, Which God, there is a large verity from every planet in the Starfleet and Klingon databases

Computer, load programme Ferengi Scat Adventures
>Warning. Programme is only available to ships crew under psychiatric treatment for compulsive coprophilia. Please contact ship's counsellor or chief medical officer to release programme lock
Barclay to Dr Crusher
>"Crusher here."
D-D-Doctor, can y-you unlock....uh....
>"Hold on a second...Nurse Ogawa, take over for a minute will you................*whispers* The scat programme? Try the extra corn mod."
I...uh...um

>holodeck instantly shuts off
>a few seconds later Mr. Worf flanked by 2 security officers opens the holodeck doors

imagine. if your coworker pisses you off, you just rape and murder him in the holodeck.

this explains why everyone is so peaceful.

youtube.com/watch?v=1fMM5CksAo0

what

youtube.com/watch?v=TWfSvBGtYYI

Computer, scan Counsellor Troi's quarters for trace amounts of compounds directly associated with Betazoid flatulence.
>Scanning complete.
Computer, replicate compounds, enhance olfactory sensations by 1000%.
Computer, generate a new enhanced replica every 5 seconds.
>Warning, continuing replication may result in poisonous atmospheric conditions.
Computer, disengage safety protocols and continue program.

I honestly think a holodeck that's realistic like in star trek would cut down on a lot of nasty crime. Just as an example, I think pedo's would just smash loli pussy in the holodeck and leave real girls alone.

If the experience feels the same, wouldn't the one that doesn't lead to jail time and your life being ruined be preferable? The only serious crimes that would still happen i think would be ones where someone is standing in the way of something you really want. Like a wife or ex wife that won't get out of your business or finances, or life.

....reminds me of that time on Rinax IV

that would only reinforce their fetish

>putting the command centre with all the highest ranking officers on the outside of the ship when cameras existed at the time of making star trek up

It is Mandela effect.

>computer, create 4 more Brahms programmed as a synchronized rape team

>secure real Dr. Brahms and remove safety protocols

Maybe in the reality you're from.

sneaky mo fo

>75328689
>The computer's mother will die.
So?

>Computer, load up subroutine astafarian_afro.exe onto Captain Picard's bald head whenever he enters the holodeck
>Make so that logically trying to remove it within the parameters of loaded up programs is ineffective
>Override all commands that force its removal and disengage all safety protocols that might reverse it

If I ejaculate into a hologram what holds the semen in place? Does it just fall to the floor, when the program ends does a blob of cum just falls to the ground where that hologram was standing?

Force fields.
Its holograms and force fields.

Force fields. And when the program ends the holodeck does a sweep to clean up and reuse material.

>the holodeck does a sweep to clean up and reuse material.

I feel sorry about anyone who is inside a hologram when it shuts up then. Instant death

Yes, because the computers are retarded...

>DS9 episode
>Jake and Nog in the holodeck
>Jake sitting down
>Nog standing up
>Nog ends program
>Jake falls to the floor
>"Never end a program when sitting down dummy!"

So what happens If me and my friend are in an Everest program, I'm at the top of the mountain while he is at the bottom. He ends the program. Do I fall to my death?

No, you're both stood at the same level but each is getting a separate projection relative to their perception.

Explain that DS9 episode then.

Jake was sitting down, not stood.

In the mountain scenario you would have at least one foot on the floor at all times and would be effectively stood.

So if I sat on top of Everest I'd fall to my death?

>these will create a world where you never have to interact with an actual human being again

Doesn't sound like a bad deal famalamadingdong

>golden visor

No, you'd fall the height of 1 chair seat.

No, because as I explained from the start, you and the other user are actually at the same level just being fed different sensory data.

Every time

>Computer, generate 300 seven foot tall Amazonian futanari in heat with cocks at least as big and wide as a wine bottle.
>Computer, disengage safety protocols.

good episode

as long as they only do it in the holodeck it doesn't matter though
if someone has infinite fictional 8 year olds to rape to death in the comfort of their own home, they're not gonna go to the effort of hunting down a real one

...

would you?

this, especially considering the real ones will send the pedo to prison or the end of a rope depending on where they live, pretty sure most would settle for the holodeck.

I mean, i don't even think i would go to the trouble of talking to women if i could just get free easy pussy in the holodeck, and i'm not even risking anything like the kiddie diddlers would be.

>computer, load mommy_brycedallashoward_milkies.holosuite
>Increase lactation by 43% from last playback
>Release a potent sexual and hallucinogenic gas
>Reroute all auxiliary power to keeping this program running
>Seal all doors, bulkheads and lockout all crewman
>Transmit this to all Starfleet high command
>Disengage all safety protocols

>Computer, create Star Wars universe
checkmate, atheists

Computer, make an accurate recreation of the holocaust using records and interviews from the people who lived during that time.
>Unable to comply, loading Starfleet Standard Holocaust Scenario
Belay that action! Explain.
>There are several major logical inconsistencies in the source material requested. A proper replacement scenario have been provided to Starfleet by the Rothschild Initiative.
Oh..

Riker told the bridge that he was going to go masturbate on the holodeck in "The Perfect Mate". Everybody's totally cool with it.

>computer, generate a sentient disembodied copy of the nervous system of a random crew member in a jar with an electrical contact located in the pain centre
>ask the brain to guess the result of a coin flip
>regardless of the brain's answer, inform it that it has guessed incorrectly, stimulate the pain centre and increase simulation speed ten thousand times
>after one minute of ten thousand times speed, disengage stimulus and present another coin flip
>repeat steps three to five one hundred times
>after one hundred times inform the brain that it has guessed correctly, then explain it is to be terminated immediately
>record its response for ten seconds, send it directly to both my office and that crewman's work terminal and terminate the brain, then rerun the program
>if another crewman enters the holodeck, pause simulation and resume again after they have left
>override all attempts to delete this simulation
>begin

>Computer delete program "Barbed Klingon Cock"

Guys real talk, I'm glad there are other people out there who also want to see a grown ass lizard person fuck a Middle Eastern dude, because for a while there I thought I was going even more crazy.

>You will never be friends with Riker and have epic jams seshs with him on the 'bone

Is Riker the ultimate bro?

>Holly, generate 1,000 extra Rimmer holograms, all self-aware and capable of experiencing pain and emotional distress, and give each hologram two distinct anii
>Now create 2,000 Cat holograms, enlarge their penii 30% and add extra barbs to the tip, increase narcissism and lust by 2000% and program them with the belief that only by violently sodomising the Prime Cats, recognized as Arnold Rimmer, for a minimum of eight hours will feline enlightenment be achieved
>Disengage safety protocols and run program. Have fun, Smegheads.

...

Computer, create a nude gassy Kamala in bondage. I'm going to suck the farts out of her ass and hold them in like a bong rip.

>Computer, make someone who will love me and will never leave me
>Unable to comply

You SHMEEE HEEEEEE
Red Dwarf can only sustain one Hologram.

youtube.com/watch?v=p7jbP1_H9sA

Well then what's the fucking point if I can't have a four way fuck session with Crusher, Troi and Yar?!?FACT!!!

Really, why would there be? A holodeck that can also replicate food to eat and is self cleaning. You could create any environment you want and fill it with incredible looking women to fuck at any time. Sounds like heaven or it could be......HELL!!!FACT!!!

>you can actually simulate real existing people in the Holodeck (like they used on multiple occasions)
>Everybody on the bridge has done despicable and disgraceful acts of ravishing and defilement to Holo-Troy

It's the only reasonable explanation as to why they haven't strangled her: they can do it on the holodeck, with less criminal consequences.

too funny

Actually happened in Sora no Otoshimono.

TOP KEK more like this.

youtube.com/watch?v=jteYwm_elwo

>Computer, create a simulation explain why Dukat literally did nothing wrong

>Computer, create an exact duplicate of Counselor Troi's posterior, based on her latest body scans and enlarge so it completely covers the rear wall of the Holodeck.
>Computer, detect any recent flatulence from Counselor Troi and provide me with precise olfactory and audial perimeters.
>Computer, have the anus emanate said flatulence every 1.5 seconds. Disengage safety protocols
>Computer, send "Barclay Suicide Note, Revision 5" to every senior officer's comm system.

>There is no reason to run this as a simulation

youtube.com/watch?v=Ck-VIA1GUCY

youtube.com/watch?v=7xfCKXnyD-4

youtube.com/watch?v=JGvYIZppmQc

youtube.com/watch?v=DzLo-q_CK2w

youtube.com/watch?v=t8aEhtJ-sgg

>Computer, create a large pot of gold coins. Take some of the coins and transport them into the intestines of all the crew members. Create 25 copies of the Leprechaun from the film series. Release them onto the ship. Disengage all safety protocols.

>computer, create a replica of Hill Valley in the fictionalized year 2015
>after that I want to be a Ghostbuster, be Luke Skywalker and be Superman flying over Metropolis
Fuck all that kinky porn, I'd turn myself into the protagonist of every movie I've ever seen and have so much fun.

And the end of Enterprise mirrors this...

So THIS is what schizophrenia's like, hey?

10/10

this thread is fucking gold

stop

lmfao you don't type out Anonymous it does it for you bahaha have you been manually typing "Anonymous" into the name field of his entire time

Computer, access into Geordi's VISOR stream and transform any lifeform picked up by the VISOR into naked Worf's

>disengage safety protocols

>life is no longer like a box of chocolates

Why even live?

Scaphism_1 to (you)

>Computer, create a nude season 1 Wesley Crusher covered in baby oil. Remove his gag reflex.

Cannot compute. Please repeat.

Nude, Tayne.

Nude
Wes

this is... not suitable for work. continue?

alright thread is gonna die soon fellas. let's go out with a bang. if you only had 1 opportunity to use the holodeck, and anything goes, what would you choose the experience to be?

For me i'd probably bang some celebrity, not sure which one. Not exactly epic i realize, but I think if i had time to think about it enough that's where i would settle

Computer. Generate 100 loli traps and make them rape OP.

>Computer, create a holodeck that I can use infinitely. Disengage all safety protocols.

Generate a Classic Doom experience.

I would like the experience of having a successfull life.

>>Kit-Kat no longer has the dash
It never did, idiot.
>>the Earth countries are shaped so much differently
Continental shift and different map projections, faggot.
>>Australia is no longer by its own with...
As with the last one, this is you being a geographically-inept American. Polynesia (especially Indonesia) has always fucking existed. And the "further North" bullshit? Different map projections and continental shift.
>>Febreeze is now Febreze
That's just your memory being dogshit, friendo. Same with Kit-Kat and the
>>Cred Forums quotes changed
These are literally all famous for being misquoted often. What's next, are you going to tell me "hey guys did you realize that they never say 'Beam me up Scotty' word-for-word?"

>DAS SCHWERSTE GEWICHT DIFFICULTY

Computer, make my whole life, like a sandglass, always to be reversed and ever to run out again, so that I find again every pain and every pleasure, every friend and every enemy, every hope and every error, every blade of grass and every ray of sunshine, and the whole fabric of things that make up my life!

I love these...
but this is the best one
youtube.com/watch?v=a03bjtiMAhE&list=PLDA7FEFFB0712779F&index=30

>Computer, engage all replicators to continuously expell a perfect replication of Counsellor Trois last bowel movement
>disengage all safety protocols
>begin

lel

Why does everyone want Troi's feces in their mouths?

Troi's feces or different iterations of naked, baby-oil slathered Wesley.

fuck you annon

show sucked, who gives a fuck

An assembly line of Kardashian sisters to creampie for 7 weeks straight.

I really wish my mom would die in her sleep, so i can kill myself without remorse.

it shouldn't have gone this way

...

underrated

And the everyone on Cred Forums had a collective heart attack.

...