Skarsgard visibly witholding laugh almost from the beginning to end

>Skarsgard visibly witholding laugh almost from the beginning to end
>Samuel L. Jackson reduced to a bumbling idiot is STILL the best part of the movie
>Margot was boring
>Christoph Waltz - the author of all my pain
>terrible CGI (dat train mang)
>plot insulting Hearts of Darkness and the real tragedy of Congo and colonialism general
>plot points stolen from Congo and King Solomon's Mines
>anachronisms everywhere ('we're going to build jobs for the Congo people', 'human rights in Africa', 'British people are really the good guys! It's the Belgians who are bad, and not even all Belgians just this one asshole' etc)
>script convenience (people instantaneously learning about stuff that was happening 5000km away, Tarzan running faster than a steamboat, random black tribes knowing everything about the world outside theirs)
>all the black people (except the old wise leader) are crossfit fuckbois. They're really look like they're at home in the jungle /s
>Tarzan's knuckles are the stupidest thing in existence; also, being raised by gorillas apparently made him grow cross chest muscles like those owned by gorillas
>sometimes the director thought he was making an arthouse movie and tried to put some ''''style'''' into the movie in form of long close ups of random people's faces

It's still better than Ghostbusters but just barely. Fucking insulting for everyone who has interest in history, cinematography or even Tarzan.
It's not even a good fap material for stupid women.

Friendly reminder that he LITERALLY did nothing wrong

>BIDF in this thread already

>You do know that the right side of your mustache is just a little lower?
What did she mean by that?

Movie was absolute trash. I felt sorry for wasting the bytes downloading it. They could have been used for something useful.

>it's a CGI ape episode

>>Samuel L. Jackson reduced to a bumbling idiot is STILL the best part of the movie
Literal cuckold detected. He sucked and you need to get off his dick. Never had a good roll.

He sucked only because he had nothing to do in the movie. The idea of black veteran of wild west going to fucking Belgian Congo was pretty solid and the actor picked for the role was spot on.
The screenwriters fucked it up, not Sam. The only decent scene in there was when he was dressing Tarzan's wounds.

>that autism

do you even enjoy movies? what did you expect from watching this?

>you have to enjoy every movie
Fuck off

Kek.

>all that nitpicking

enjoy your shitty life

>enjoying movies

They were actually motion-captured?! I thought the reason they looked so unrealistic was because they were just complete CG creations with nothing to anchor them.

You don't know the meaning of the words you're using. I merely stated some of the major flaws of the movie citing examples which is the opposite of nitpicking.

>You will never be picked up and power-fucked by Alexander Skarsgard

why even live

I'd let him fuck me, no homo.
But only when he's doing his Iceman American accent.

You would have to pay me to feign excitement for a fucking David Yates movie. Dude is one of the blandest blockbuster directors currently working.

I would be looking forward to Fantasic Beasts if Chris Columbus or Alfonso Cuaron were directing.

Nice chestu

>cgi muscles

what would Arnold think?

>Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
~Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why's a brotha gotta be in the suit?

White people forced him to wear it because of their sick fetishes.

>CGI Ape

Looks real to me.

Well cuaron declined.yates was much more inspired with potter than this tarzan shit. Yates and cuaron were the best. Completely different directors tho. Cuaron wanted to do deathly hallows apparently but they has yates, similarly del toro wanted to do half blood prince. Thank christ that fat fuck didn't.