>Dumbledore, do you remember tom Riddle, who's appearance 50 years ago coincided with the deaths of several students?
>Well, I found his magic diary that he can use to communicate to different people. Maybe it has something to do with all these recent deaths.
Why the fuck didn't Harry just tell Dumbledore all of this?
Because it's a dumb book series made for children in primary school.
I don't think Tom Riddle being Lord Voldemort was common knowledge to muggle-born 12-year-olds.
Why don't you go ask on /lit/ you fucking mongrel
heres a link btw if you're new
Well what else did you expect from one the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises?. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Because he wanted to find out himself? Did they even know people disappeared around Riddle, and whether or not he himself disappeared as well?
Also
Doing gods work
>atlas shrugged in god tier
what did he mean by this ?
Because he was a retarded 12 year old. There's really no other explanation.
Also the books are really bad and have no consistent logic and ridiculous writing. rowling is a hack that somehow wormed her way into the hearts of millions because she wrote childrens books.
>look at high tier
>what in the fuck is hypersphere
>Hypersphere, written by Anonymous with the help of the Cred Forums board /lit/ (of The Legacy of Totalitarianism in a Tundra fame) is an epic tale spanning over 700 pages.
Because he was a cocky arrogant teenager. Next question.
The books are actually pretty decent, just because the plot doesn't make perfect sense doesn't mean the writing is terrible, she makes up for the plot holes and world building holes with charming little details about hogwarts and excellent foreshadowing and suspense building
hasn't Rowling turned like half the charcters gay by revealing "backstory" by now
Only Dumbledore is gay.
As far as I know it's just dumbledingus
>The books are actually pretty decent
Fucking LOL
The books are actually kinda bad, just because you look useless information about characters that don't matter and filler about hogwarts doesn't mean it excuses her lack of ability as a writer.
>no Clifford
Shit list.
Why did Ron and Hermione say say:
>"An invisibility cloak? Those are really rare."
Instead of
>"HOLY FUCKING CHRIST WHAT YOU ARE HOLDING IN YOUR HANDS IS ONE THIRD OF THE WIZARD EQUIVALENT OF THE HOLY GRAIL AND CAN LITERALLY BE USED TO HIDE YOUR PRESENCE OF DEATH"
Because he had seen invisibility cloaks before and no longer believed in children's stories?
There are lots of invisibility cloaks, that one is just better than all the others.
lol of course
He still thought Hagrid did it at the time
>tfw there will be FIVE Fantastic Beasts moie
Ah, Albus, is it?
Yes, sorry you had to suffer under that one too, but your father meant well, and I could hardly correct him from this portrait, could I?
Did I ever tell you about your father, incidentally?
Well he was part of my ultimate plan to stop Tom Riddle, a boy who became a sociopath due in part to his upbringing in a cold orphanage, where he had no friends to speak of and nobody to explain the implications of his emerging power
So, knowing this, I sequestered your father in a home with his abusive aunt and uncle, where he was treated like an outright freak. Given that he even had a splinter of the most evil man who ever lived in him the whole time, it's amazing he came out as well as he did, come to think of it.
And he was a good friend
Harry and Dumbledore weren't much closer than student and headmaster at that point. Wasnt really until Goblet that they started interacting more.
>Great Gatsby
>God Tier
What the fuck are you doing cunt?
I don't think anything in the books is "useless" unless you just mean that a fantasy story is inherently useless
And I also don't recall any "filler"
I'm not saying the writing is great I just don't think it's terrible and awful like Cred Forums hipsters say, there are good things and bad things
the annoying recurring drama between Ron and hermione isn't great writing, Same with cho and Harry's awkward dating arc
But on the other hand I think the way she reveals the mystery of Sirius black in the 3rd book piece by piece is very good, the little details like scabbers being sick and crook shanks knowing something was off about scabbers, the marauders map showing Peter pettigrew's name, are all nice pieces of foreshadowing that are intriguing and make the resolution very satisfying
bravo jo
Why don't wizards have a second wand as a backup, or so they can dual wield in combat?
Well done Harry. Well Done. HOWEVER
They don't like HP over there. Bunch of gits amirite?
Because a wand is really unique and personal.
...
Could they not get the actress for Ginny back? Why did they use Dobby's CG model instead?
Fuck off reject
Hermione ending up with Ron instead of Harry makes sense when you remember that she canonically looked like this in the books
75344440
If you're going to try to bait people please try harder in the future.
>tfw the guy who will spend the rest of his life cumming in you is eating your toast
This is the problem with child actors. They bet on her being a bombshell when she grew up and they were wrong.
Meanwhile goofy ugly Neville Longbottom...
>trash written by some labour scum
>character is actually a m
Makes sense
Whats the problem, wannabe/pol/?
I LONG FOR HIS BOTTOM
They should have said fuck the books and had Harry get with Hermione.
>Hurry James Sirius Severus Albus Hagrid Draco Remus Neville Fleur Dobby Cho Cedric Dumdlydore's Goatfucker Brother Vernon Whomping Willow Dudley Aunt Marge Aragog Riddle Bane Lupin Filch Crabbe Dursley Evans Fudge Shacklebolt Potter! You might miss your train!
No Harry should have been with Luna. They have the most in common and she's the only one who always believed him and never doubted him. Plus she is just adorable.
>Order of the Phoenix is over
>"I miss going to the meetings, it was like having friends"
Your waifu is an anorexic whore
She is brilliant.
I thought they were headed that way when reading the books. Ginny was worst girl.
Overrated
Even when the movie came out I thought she was ugly
This is the only correct answer.
>No Harry should have been with Luna
This is what 28 year old slavshit manchildren that hangout with 13-16 year old tumblr teens on the internet actually believe
Kek
To be fair to myself I didn't read any of the other entries, just Great Gatsby. Looking at the shit tier its obviously bait
...
I watched Chamber of Secrets recently
Why Dobby such a retarded, insufferable cunt?
Nice meme Dudley
Because they didn't have time to develop him as a character so he was one dimensional. Still he was good in the end.
>What a beautiful place... to be with friends
>Harry, did I ever tell you about time-turners? They let us go back in time. For instance we could use this to easily save your family, or stop Voldemort. But instead we gave one to a 13 year old girl so she could take more classes. She is a good friend.
You actually can't use timer turners to change time.
Nice meme apportion, reddit harry potter tourist
You heard about the latest news related to Fantastic Beasts?
It's not a trilogy anymore.
It's a pentalogy now.
Five fucking films.
Literally worse than the Hobbit.
Except those special few cases that they had in Cursed Child and used to change events in the past.
heh...thanks....I cut my teeth on ifunny but I feel like I'm hardcore enough for Cred Forums now....saw a gore thread and didn't even wince.................
Did you even watch the movie / read the book
You already used the time turner, so all you can do is go back and fulfill the role you already fulfilled.
If you didn't find the keys under the rock, you can't now go back and leave them for yourself
What the fuck?
They didn't change anything in Cursed Child. It was always going to happen that way.
TRUSS J K ROWLING MY MAN. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT DOING IT FOR THE MONEY LMAO
But this is what the low IQ Harry Potter fans want.
rollingstone.com
J.K. Rowling announced during a global fan event for Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them Thursday that the film, previously thought to be a trilogy, is the first in a five-film franchise. The first film is set for release on November 18th, with the final installment planned for November 2020.
you can have 2 unique and personal items. Don't be stupid.
...
>They didn't change anything in Cursed Child. It was always going to happen that way.
Then if there's no threat of them using it because it already happened, then why are they trying so hard to get the time-turner?
Go read the synopsis for the latest play
>mfw the last one is split into 2 films
Because they don't know that it was always going to happen that way.
>play
No
Until it's on screen it doesn't count
How excited are you Odran? All those little kids dressed up as wizards and witches
This is quite literally right up your alley dude
What the fuck are you talking about?
Who the fuck is Odran?
They might be good, you don't know.
just kidding they'll be mediocre and under perform
The whole point of those books is to put a friendly face on dabbling in the occult. They're demonic.
>12 year old Hermione will never look at you this way
The Messr kettle, the sharpest one, the giant squid, the fleurfag, the one and only Odran
Borat and nice ass
Why is Kenneth Branaugh so perfect?
Ugh, that nose.
Only one person died bruh
They can, but you get a time turner once people are sure you won't fuck with time. Yeah, the whole timeloop thing meant events already played out like, but time travel is tricky like that. That and Hermoine said wizards had killed their past or future selves messing with time
I know, and her point knee caps.
Fuck you Rowling
Make this shit instead
Yeah, pretty much.
Honestly the placement is never explained. He was the son of a hero that died in the war, a miracle child who everyone loved and wanted the best for and a celebrity.
Dumbledore had complete control over his placement, as well as powers of divination bordering on omniscience. He could have placed him with loving perfect guardians, saying that it had to be relatives doesn't fly, any part of that is easily faked or altered by magic to fool any muggle office.
Instead he placed him with abusive tormenting scum, and left him there for years, even when he knew what was going on. The only reason to do it would have been to cause Harry to hate muggles and hate humanity and the normal world and given he had a splinter of Voldes soul already within him this would only be something you would do if you wanted to risk creating a new Voldemort to fight.
>you just know
Well that and the whole blood magic that protected Harry and kept him alive. But it's not like that matters.
World building, plotting, and creating characters is much harder than you think. I'm not saying high literature doesn't provide things that something like HP doesn't, but one set of virtues does not invalidate another. I came off Infinite Jest, Gravity's Rainbow, and Lolita and I'm reading through HP now for the first time since the last book came out, and enjoyed them all for different reasons. Prose is not the end all do all, and there are actually times where too heavy a focus on prose gets in the way of other things literature, as a medium, has to offer.
You shouldn't listen to Debussy and Beethoven with the same expectations I listen to Death Grips or Animal Collective, because tonal complexity is not the only aspect of music that can be approached with ambition. You shouldn't watch The Sopranos or The Wire with the same expectations as Eric Andre, or Freaks and Geeks, or early Simpsons, etc.
Mediums usually have more than one artistic virtue, and as an audience member, part of your job is to recognize and appreciate what a work is offering, rather than just picking out the things it's not.
Harry Potter's p good.
inb4 >meme examples, don't change the subject
>Honestly the placement is never explained.
Blood protection. Remember that? It burned up Voldemort in the first film.
If he'd grown up in the Wizarding world he'd have been a spoiled little shit like Malfoy
Plus it's hard to do an escapist fantasy where one day you wake up in your mediocre mundane life and it turns out you were wizard jesus all along, when the protagonist is already in the magical fantasy world.
>an abundance of arbitrary trivia makes a work great
>this is what 'muh worldbuilding' fantasy fans actually believe
People like you are why mincraft guides are considered literature among children now
>I like bad things that means it's not bad!
relax kid
>saying that it had to be relatives doesn't fly
If I remember correctly the whole relative reason was Harry's mother dying for him placed a super strong protection barrier around him so that Voldemort couldn't hurt him.
And because the rules of magic are bullshit, this barrier is only in effect while Harry is living with relatives and stops when he's 18 or whatever.
i'm getting so fucking mad at these two kinds of replies. why is that every time that piece of shit copypasta gets reposted there's always some newfags just now noticing the tiers are fucked up for the first time? do we have people with alzheimers posting here or am i really the only one who has read all these shitposts before?
>i have no rebuttal so i'll just insult him
So it was basically magical social services?
You've figured it out now right? I'm talking about you
Good post
Some people are new and some people think responding is it's own form of trolling. Others just like to play along.
samefag
The last two you quoted were me, yea. Samefagging only really matters if it's one guy pretending to be two, which I'm not. Still waiting on a decent response dummy.
Fuck off
>World building, plotting, and creating characters is much harder than you think
Stopped reading there. I can already imagine how sophomoric the rest of the post is
>posting from your phone to pretend you aren't the same guy
neat trick, too bad I've seen it before.
>tfw I actually bought Hypersphere and read it
many keks were had.
Nice trips. No point in waiting for you to articulate a thought I guess. If you're just baiting, fine, but I hope you are because not being able to recognize the fact that you're deflecting to distract from your lack of a real thought is pathetic.
Same to you, sans the trips.
They're all too good-looking.
They should all be middle-aged except for Ravenclaw. Slytherin needs to look a bit evil and wizened, Gryffindor needs a big bushy beard and a bit of muscle (think Brian Blessed), Hufflepuff needs to look comfy.
How does a person look "comfy"?
>Hufflepuff needs to look comfy.
What does that even mean you fucking idiotic baselevel meme artist? Goddamn you're a pathetic little shit. No wonder you like harry potter so much I bet your parents fucking hated you.
Nah, unless Slytherin is the Bloody Baron after all, he needs to be handsome smouldering, statuesque. Think Fassbender.
It means a bit overweight with massive tits, I assume.
Being overweight is not comfy. It makes life more difficult and everything is a pain.
Think motherly - will bake you cookies and then suck your dick, not Oprah Winfrey
Sorry, my mother never sucked my dick.
lol
>You will never watch Luna get MUGGLED by four virile English Muggle lads
JDIMSA
Not your mother obviously. Someone else's, maybe one of your schoolfriends
Not that I agree she should be comfy. To me Hufflepuff should be magic firs, student second. aka a hot nerd
>No filler
>Most of the third book is just introducing a couple of characters
>Introduces time travel
>Have to destroy time travel later on because it was a mistake
>The forth book is mostly a pointless tournament that doesn't need to happen
>Only real thing that happens in four is Voldemort coming back
Yep, not a single wasted sentence in that series.
hypable.com
"J.K. Rowling: ‘The Cursed Child should be considered canon’"
>And because the rules of magic are bullshit
I've always had two major problems with the HP series. One is that she has the same problem that older comic books had. She introduces some magic without thinking about how it can be used. Now that it's there she can't get rid of it so she has to bullshit up the place to stop everything falling apart with her overpowered shit. The second is I feel like she knew where she wanted to go but didn't have a very good plan as to how to do it. In the fourth book Harry has to enter the tournament when it's obvious to everyone that doing so is a bad idea. Why? Magic contract. What does that mean? It means he has to. Why. Magic contract. There are so many contrived moments that just happen because she needs them to happen and she doesn't have the skill to write a natural way for it to happen.
If they really were decent then they would have all the charming details with world building without holes, a plot that does make sense and good writing.
>"J.K. Rowling: ‘The Cursed Child should be considered canon’"
"J.K. Rowling: ‘Dumbledore was totally in the gay friendzone lmao’"
you mean matronly. Matronly is non synonymous with comfy you pigfuck
And?
Are you countering confirmed canon with more confirmed canon...?
Reminder that malfoy fit the part of a female bully much more than a male one, and that harry should have hatefucked her instead
...
Malfoy isn't a girl.
Butterfridge
I'm glad they finally released her back to her natural environment.
>Reminder that malfoy fit the part of a female bully much more than a male one
How so?
>Malfoy isn't a girl
You can't possibly know that.
Who hyped for the IMAX release?
Absolutely.
nice pasta
Want VR more
Generally speaking, the posh boy bully stereotype that Rowling was going for relies heavily on physical social putdowns that are usually carried out by his cronies, coercing people to their side by bribe, charm or force and tends to get his hands dirty on occasion to prove that he can (Always surrounded by cronies, of course. Can't be giving the plebs a fair fight).
The female stereotype is far more hands off and relies entirely on verbal putdowns, manipulating people against their target, and displays of wealth.
Malfoy fits the female more than the male after book 1, since he turns into a little bitch that constantly gets himself wrecked and can't do more than snipe behind people's back, and relies utterly on everyone else to protect him.
I assume this is because, like Pansy, he was based on people that bullied Rowling.
Not me
These movies suck!
>books don't count then
Rowling signed off on it. It's completely canon.
wait, how is she even remotely overweight?
But he's not a girl.
#CasualTransphobia
like, I can't even.
Why were the english covers so shit?
It's written in our language, so we didn't have the weird mistranslations that led to them
Those are shit too
Unless you of course play or support videogame culture
>Harry Potter and the scene crashing dyke
I want to stab whoever made those "minimalist" ones third from the bottom. That's some Blade Runner Poster tier shit.
...
>Harry Potter and the Selfie Stick
Watch a very Potter musical
She has negative ass. The ass bank is going to send her to collections.
>no tits
>no ass
>odd face
yikes harry
>those french covers.
Christ, could any country be less based
For some reason Denmark made Harry chinese
...
>unironically reading books by anti-Corbin blairites
>mfw haters gonna hate
The purge is coming, comrade.
The traitors will regret claiming that the great leader is not akin to dore of dumbles
>Voldemort killed for good
>Second Wizard War ends
>Tony Blair gets elected
Happy ending all round then
whoa....so this is the power...of fridgemode...
abrava kedabra
...
She's a little Down-ie but I like her.
...
Dual wielding has never been a thing irl so I don't see why wizards would.
People use two guns all the time
>it's a Cred Forums pretends they wouldn't date her thread
Harry triple wields in Deathly Hallows.
>third wand
Teeth, feet or cock?
Three in the same hand, so it was like a magic shotgun.
>people ITT actually responding seriously to OP's bait
Harry, like most wizards, didn't know that Tom Riddle was Voldemort's real name because Dumbledore didn't bother sharing that bit of knowledge with him, despite earlier in the series stating that Harry should call Lord Voldemort by his name instead of "You Know Who".
Can't believe I even bothered to explain that to you braindead morons.
His CHOSEN pronoun you fuckwit pissbabby
second and fourth row is great
germanys is the worst (Iam actually german and wasnt aware of this)
why didn't he just use a summoning spell to summon a gun and unload it into voldemort?
Now let's do it properly.
>Harry, always call Lord Voldemort by his name. Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself. Btw, Lord Voldemort isn't even his real name, it's the name he chose in order to inspire fear in the masses. I'm not going to tell you his real, non-scary name, because the sequel requires you to think that his teenage version is your friend. If you'll know his name, Hagrid won't have to go to Azkaban and get his soul munched on by demons. I am not a very good friend.
You have a less terrible version
Those are all still pretty awful.
Nobody even knew about the Hallows faggot let alone that this was one of them.
scrolled past this then thought about it, kekked out loud and scrolled back up
Well Ron knew about them but it was just a children's fairy tale.
true dat....also I overlooked this horrible abomination of whatever shit country this is.
Who is responsible for this?
That was garbage Odran
kek
>Harry, my boy, did I ever tell you about Time-Turners? they can literally send anyone decades into the past AND change it. No, there's no "time loop" here, you can literally change the future by going into the past. We can use one to save your parents and countless people that Voldemort murdered, not to mention the millions of people that died in a war propagated by my childhood friend Wizard Hitler. Instead we're going to use it to save a fucking bird. Buckbeak is a good friend.
Those are the finnish covers
No expert gunfighter does, just niggers from the ghetto.
>No, there's no "time loop" here, you can literally change the future by going into the past.
Except there is a loop and you can't change anything.
>this is supposed to be Lockhart
Another terrible one lad. Just stick to posting ebic facebook meme pictures.
Read The Cursed Child faggot, it's literally what they do there. That's why I included the no time-loop bit into my post, to stop smartasses like you from using that invalid argument.
I did read it and the changes they made were always going to happen.
No they aren't you dumb cunt. They literally changed the future. Stop baiting.
love the drag eyeshades
Just like they did in Azkaban right?
He's right about the loop. What's done has already been done and can't be changed. It's flawed but workable enough.
For example, in PoA, there are several unexplained events that are explained by the characters performing them when they go back in time. The patrona (?), the rock breaking the glass, etc.
so DBZ officially has a better time travel plot than Harry Potter
that's pretty interesting
>>tfw there will be FIVE Fantastic Beasts moie
That's what hurts the most. That this shit will NEVER end.
>Three hours of Slytherin pouring over bathroom designs, Griffindor trying to fuck an oblivious Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff trying to work out how to work a quill.
>can literally send anyone decades into the past AND change it
>change it
No
>four greatest wizards of their age
>basically it's The Only Way Is Hogwarts
I can dig it
No, idiot. They went back and humiliated Cedric in the TWT. Then when they didn't liked the result, they went back in time and stopped THEMSELVES from interfering with Cedric. This isn't a time-loop. This is just time-travel.
I SAID READ THE FUCKING CURSED CHILD REEEEEEEEEEEE NOT ONLY THAT IT'S THE SHITTIEST BOOK EVER RELEASED NOW I HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU OF THE FACTS OF ITS SHITTINESS
>They went back and humiliated Cedric in the TWT. Then when they didn't liked the result, they went back in time and stopped THEMSELVES from interfering with Cedric
And it always happened this way no matter what.
>And it always happened this way no matter what.
No it didn't. Just how fucking braindamaged are you? did your obese mother sit on your head after you were born?
>cursed child
Fuck that retcon non-cannon shit. Nobody should take it serious, it's the prequels of Star Wars OT. Reconned and changing established canon for no reason other than a desperate attempt to revive a dead franchise that should've been cared for years and years ago instead of being abandoned because "you were done".
>Do you see the shit I put up with?
Yeah fuck that book, doesn't matter that it's what Rowling wrote and she confirmed that perfect time-travel exists, like it or not.
They made Hermione black and retconned almost everything. Either it's canon or the previous 7 were. I choose the previous 7.
Hermione is not black in the Cursed Child. There is simply a black actress playing her for the stage version.
Harry looks like a feminist here
I like the Italian version with the rat head hat, someone post it pls
I've still got no idea why she thought time travel was a good idea, let alone stealing ideas from fanfiction to create the central antagonist.
I can only assume she had repeated aneurysms.
In the first 7 Hermione had big teeth, frizzy hair and was an intellectual prodigy.
Her race is never mentioned, but she sounds pretty black to me.
She's white.
>intellectual prodigy.
user, you're making this too easy.
Please stop.
...
it literally prints money and thanks to our friends at disney everyone is totally okay with cinematic universes and what not
heck once Christopher Tolkien dies expect one Silmarillion movie a year for the next decade
Why is Snape using his giant arm to stab Dumbledore with an umbrella?
In a 30 year old sketch sure
fbpb never fails around here
She is whatever the author decides she is when it helps her career. Your nostalgia/what you believe means nothing.
8/10. Almost got me.
>intellectual prodigy.
You should've reworded this.
pls never die chris
I don't mind her being non native but what I do mind is that making her black is to well, American.
If they wanted to go for a more British style immigrant why not make her Indian?
They already have several Indians.
they also had a few black characters as well
So they'd already reached their asian quota?
And they are mentioned being black, unlike Hermione.
>finnish
not even once
Harry, did I ever tell you about my sister, Ariana? she was raped into insanity by a bunch of filthy muggles, like your guardians, because she had magic, like you. So after she died I planned with a dark lord to subjugate all muggles and rule the world. She was a good friend.
We're not talking about your girlfriend here, user.
>So after she died I planned with a dark lord to subjugate all muggles and rule the world.
But exactly the opposite happened. Please at least get the basic plot right.
She sold out for the money being PC would bring. It looks like her plan backfired though.
What did all the other redditors from Cred Forums think when you told them?
The Ariana thing was really stupid.
She was literally gangraped so hard she went crazy
What the fuck, was Rowling's cousin raped and killed or something?
>NOT ONLY THAT IT'S THE SHITTIEST BOOK EVER RELEASED NOW I HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU OF THE FACTS OF ITS SHITTINESS
You rage is almost acquiring a phyisical manifestation. I felt such thing while reading that fucking book
its never said she was raped, could just as well have been torture given she already had something similar happen to the Longbottoms
>It looks like her plan backfired though.
No it didn't. It put her in the spotlight again which is all she cares for
Longbottom's were tortured with magic.
What a gang of muggle chavs going to do to a sexy young girl to torture her? Whip out the car battery and nipple clamps?
No it was gangrape
>gf
not even once
nice user, now I have fap material
Sure they were tortured by magic but the spell just artificially activates all your pain receptors at once, the madness that comes from it is entirely mundane
And his sister wasn't nearly as fucked up as Longbottom's parents so yeh, prolonged car battery torture could have that effect on a young girl
Rowling doesn't really spell these kind of things, but it's implied, because her brothers all have fucked up sexuality.
>Dumbledore is gay, was in love with a dark lord and probably never had sex
>Aberforth went to jail for fucking goats
Hmmm I wonder why they are so averse to hetero sex
Explains why dumbledore was gay.
>prolonged car battery torture could have that effect on a young girl
Cars weren't commonplace at the time (end of the 19th century), certainly not in little English villages.
>so yeh, prolonged car battery torture could have that effect on a young girl
Chavs don't work like that.
They stab and rape
It's all they know
I see the Dumbledore thing more as him not being an overtly sexual person and his "attraction" had more to do with the fact for the first time in his life he met someone as brilliant as him rather than any physical characteristics
I know just responding to the person above me
they could have easily gone for the traditional anti-witch stuff and maybe near-drowned her over and over, then set her on fire or something like that
Nah he just wanted that sweet European boipucci
>Pudding deez nuts in your mouth
Albus gotta get him some of dat Mussolini cock
I bet you're the same retard that thinks there is only one Great Ring in Tolkien's works and that Gandalf should instantly have realized it was the One Ring as soon as he knew Bilbo had one.
rowling really likes berserk
even if he said that, that doesn't really invalidate anything user said in their post
>Harry, did I ever tell you about Tom Riddle?
>He was a murderous sociopathic Slytherin with delusions of grandeur who went on to become the dark lord Voldemort and killed your parents, and he was a good friend.
What the hell
The norwegian one looks awesome, like some weird 80s sword and sorcery artwork
The german one is complete shit tier
The japanese one is way too weird
Japan is 2art4u tier
Damn, that second row is the best, following by the weeb ones.
terrible, particularly OotP and DH
This. Rowling never specified the age of the boys who "attacked" her. It was probably just a few ten year olds who kicked the shit out of her and stomped on her head or something.
lel
>British 10 year olds
You mean rapists
probably more than just stomping her head
kids can be cruel
You've clearly never been here, m8.
Take my advice and keep it that way.
>like the HP movies even though some of them are flawed
>decide to read the books
>read philosopher's stone
>Aside from a few cool characters and different story, it has none of the worldbuilding and imagery from the first movie because rowling is turns out to be a shit writer
should I continue, lads?
Nah, I'm English. tbf though, I was a very sheltered child. That whole James Bulger thing happened when I was about 4 so I think that made my mum very overprotective. I never went out much in the afternoons after school so I probably missed out on a lot of fights and shit.
The books are only good if you're in elementary school.
No
If you're going to read childrens book then pick of the chronicles of memerinas series as the reboot is coming very very soon
>should I continue, lads?
No.
The books are good if you're a child or an adult who read them as a child in the latter, it's just nostalgia
Just enjoy what you can of the movies.
just read them. why not? they are easy reads and you will be done under a week. if for nothing else read them for shitposting sake.
If you get the audio books, Stephen Fry's narration tends to wash away a large degree of the problems.
No, they get worse from there.
Unless you're autistic and need to know what REALLY happened because the movies change a lot of things but nothing that really matters in the end, no matter how hard fanboys try to pretend.
ignore this anti intellectual idiot.
Nice /lit/ shitpasta.
I agree about the movies though.
After the third one dropped the light-hearted childishness of the first two and went all Twilight-tier feminine pseudo-gritty, they were very mediocre.
Good keks or "wtf am I reading" keks?
>That name
How uncreative can you be.
is that david mitchell?
>poster is largely green
Don't know what else you expected
Would you prefer "Hogwarts Origins"?
not him but your assumption that time is linear is wrong, everything happens the way they always would, even when you time travel, as in, they always had to travel in time several times ending up in alternate realities.
>it has none of the worldbuilding and imagery from the first movie
Name 3 examples
This is either bait or retardation, in any case I'm too tired to reply to this shit.
i guess you're too stupid for a non-linear concept of time and a super-reality which contains all alternate timelines.
it's ok man, not everyone is supposed to be intellectually gifted.
No, just not stupid enough to fall into this obvious bait.
Just kill yourself.
>this philosophically inept
sure buddy
...
...
What exactly are you trying to do with this post?
...
>it's what Rowling wrote
It's not, though. She didn't write Cursed Child. She did write the Fantastic Beasts script, but not CC. She gave her approval of the play but that was probably contract reasons.
Is this porn?
hey that was pretty rude.
I hope so
She wrote it with others.
harry didn't know about horcruxes until dumbledore almost died, he had no idea the diary could be important
>a diary with a sentient mind inside it with insider knowledge into the hidden workings of the school doesn't strike Harry as important
There's being stupid and then there's this shit.
...
There are plenty of sentient objects in the HPverse.
he is new to the wizarding world, he thinks every out of place thing is normal in that realm
How many of them had Harry encountered by that point?
Even within context, it's still a strange occurence that he should have mentioned to anyone, let alone the strongest wizard who he's close personal friends with.
>Even within context, it's still a strange occurence that he should have mentioned to anyone
He mentioned it to his friends.
He also wasn't close to Dumbledore at that time and didn't trust him that much (Dumbledore even questions him and he just lies). There was pretty much nothing suspicious about that diary at first, Harry had already seen much weirder things. They have portraits all over the castles that interact with you, so why not a diary?
There is no Norwegian there. Norway used the 5th row with norwegian titles.
11th row is danish, not norwegian.
Harry's not the one who found it dumbass it was Ginny
How does this retarded art get approved? Literally looks more like a 40 year old lesbian than a 12 year old boy
a parrying dagger (main gauche) does not constitute dual wielding you prick
>using two weapons at once is not dual-wielding
>Harry appears twice on the last four covers
Fucking why?
Harry used a Time-Turner to go back and take selfies while he is also in the background
Dual wielding is when you use two weapons.
Now tell me, how many weapons are they holding?
>hurr durrr I'm pretending to be retarded
piss off
is this the highschool reading chart
"piss off" isn't a number.
How many weapons are the using at once?
If it's two, that mean they're dual wielding because they're wielding two weapons.
Hi there underage, seems like you're in your contrarian phase. Don't worry, one day you'll grow up or snap out of it once your elders tell you show more respect
And to answer your question, a buckler is according to your definition dual wielding, because you're too retarded to understand what a weapon and companion weapon is
Is a buckler two separate weapons?
If so, it's dual wielding.
Two weapons = dual wielding.
How are you this stupid?
>sword 'n' board = dual wielding
See, this is why /tg/ hates us
Nice reading comprehension.
Is a shield a weapon?
No, it fucking isn't, so it's not duel wielding.
I can understand why /tg/ hates you because you're obviously a retard.
>Is a shield a weapon?
Depends what edition you're using
Motherfucker.
You still don't get it. You wouldn't call offhanding a shield and main handing a sword "dual wielding". If you offhanded a sword and strike in a single tempo by attacking with the main hand and blocking with the offhand, that would be the same as using a shield, only much much worse. You could do the same with shield, which offers more protection and versatility and can be just as lethal. Stop trying to change what words mean, learn what a companion weapon is, cunt
If you still dont get why dual wielding weapons has not been a thing historically then you're just that stupid. Not gonna waste more time on you, learn the biomechanics of martial arts before posting you underage cunt
>Is a shield a weapon?
>No, it fucking isn't, so it's not duel wielding.
Fucking KEK
>learn what a companion weapon is
I know what it is.
But hey, real quick, what's it called?
A companion WEAPON?
And what's duel wielding?
Is it using two weapons at once?
>If you still dont get why dual wielding weapons has not been a thing historically
I never said anything about them being a thing historically, I just found it necessary to put shit on you for saying using two weapons isn't duel wielding.
A dagger is a weapon, nigger.
He's Trans. JKR will make it canon
Dual wielding implies two equal weapons, you sorry idiot
holy shit grow up, this contrarian phase of yours is pure cringe
"Dual wielding is using two weapons, one in each hand, during combat. It is not a common combat practice. Although historical records of dual wielding in war are limited, there are numerous weapon-based martial arts that involve the use of a pair of weapons. The use of a companion weapon is sometimes employed in European martial arts and fencing, such as a parrying dagger. Miyamoto Musashi, a Japanese swordsman and ronin, was said to have conceived of the idea of a particular style of swordsmanship involving the use of two swords."
And the point was that a parrying dagger is no more "dual wielding" than using a sword and shield, which you insist is the case. You're doing the most basic and mediocre thing ever to strip down a word to something completely contextless because you're underange and dont know how to analyse anything other than playing a semantics game
Good job in quoting wikipedia of all things, that really shows how stupid you are. Pic related is dual wielding. courtesy of loyd. To summarize, you have no knowledge of martial arts, HEMA, or weapon history. You're a contrarian boring semanticsfag
We're done
>And the point was that a parrying dagger is no more "dual wielding" than using a sword and shield, which you insist is the case
No, I said the exact opposite.
Are you retarded?
>Good job in quoting wikipedia of all things
What, the place that has to have legitimate sources to keep facts up?
I should say so.
>You're a contrarian boring semanticsfag
And you have no reading comprehension and resort to the same name-calling because you've got nothing more than "no ur rong"
>No, I said the exact opposite.
You did only because you're RETARDED. A shield IS a weapon and so your definition of dual wielding as any generic weapon dual wielded is superfluous, retarded and, wait for it, contrarian in nature. Here's your last (You) and with it you might want to watch this, maybe you'll learn something
youtube.com
>You did only because you're RETARDED
I thought you said I was retarded for saying the opposite?
Have a little consistency, user.
A shield isn't a weapon, it's a shield.
It's used in combat, sure, but its main purpose is to protect from damage, not inflict it.
Russian Harry Potter is called Garry potter? That's fucking brilliant.
>A shield isn't a weapon, it's a shield.
>It's used in combat, sure, but its main purpose is to protect from damage, not inflict it.
0/10
>implying that's incorrect
Man, you're just increasingly retarded.
Also, I thought you'd already given me my last (you) as stupid as that shit is, not EVERYONE that calls you out on being wrong is shitposting as hard as that is to believe
You just demonstrated a complete lack of knowledge in the field, which begs the question where you get your presumptuousness to just assert things as if you were some high authority on the matter. It's time to grow up, user
>You just demonstrated a complete lack of knowledge in the field
As did you.
Cite-able sources from Wikipedia will tell you you're wrong, rather than whatever cherry-picked video you posted before.
Maybe it's time for YOU to grow up and realize everyone is wrong sometimes.